Shameless (2011–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - It's Time to Kill the Turtle - full transcript

- Keep moving.
- Where were you guys last week?

- Getting a foster kid.
- Lots of work.

- Three-eighty-four a month.
- Foster kids are messed up.

They need a positive influence.

- Unh, that's for screwing my husband.
- Unh.

Kiss me and I'll cut
your fucking tongue out.

I'm taking the PSATs for some
Polish kid over on Ridgedale.

I'm an investigator for
the Educational Evaluation Service.

- The punishment?
- I'm at the university. Come to my office.

I'm going to the store today.

Toilet paper. I'm starting to chafe
from the streamers.

Toothpaste.

Why are Steve's clothes down here?

Well, somebody couldn't wait
to get upstairs last night.

- We out of diapers?
- Yeah, but I put a plug up his butt.

Didn't I, buddy? Oh, it's okay.

- That towel's gonna leak.
- Yeah, I'm on it.

Ugh, so my SAT gig's a bust...

...but, uh, I could scrape up some money
another way if you need help.

It's cool. I got 35 bucks.

- Plus I'm picking up that temp check later.
- Okay.

Is that a taser? Where'd you get that?

I let him borrow it.
Hey, help me out, okay?

Carl got invited some place
by normal kids.

Robbie Rebello's having
a paint ball party. Towel.

Yeah, but he's not going,
so I gave him the taser to play with.

Don't worry, it doesn't work.

Who's Candace?

I have no idea. You aren't going, Carl?

No. It costs $27.

- Here.
- Awesome.

Thanks.

- What?
- Well, he really wanted to go.

Knows we're strapped.

This should hold him for a few hours.

You're gonna need new diapers.

Steve got a text from Candace.
"Sweetie, call me. It's important."

Hey, you don't read
other people's messages.

Is he dating someone else?

Go. You're gonna be late for school.

Late for school. School.

Mommy?

Mommy? I'm hungry, Mommy.

I want some food, Mommy. Wake up.

Mommy.

We're only taking in a kid
for a week to get the money...

...to pay for my stupid parking tickets.
That's it. We're like a hotel.

Yeah, I know,
but I'm secretly hoping you like it...

...so we get to keep the kid longer
because I wanna do dad things.

Not a secret anymore.

And it's gonna change
our lives too much.

No it won't.

Come on, we walk around the house
naked half the time...

...shoot tequila for breakfast,
and swear up a storm.

- We're gonna do that with a kid?
- Who cares?

You know what? I lived with
some crazy-ass foster parents...

...but it's better than being
in a group home.

Well, just don't get too excited.

We're gonna get our money
and kick the little brat to the curb.

All right, fine. Now come here...

...and let me suckle your tit, Mommy.
- Mm-mm.

- Come on, let me suckle your tit.
- Mm-mm.

I need some milk.
I need some breakfast.

Which do you like better?

One...

...or two?

Mm, one.

What about one...

...or two?

Mm, definitely two.

Okay, one...

Oh, God, one. One. One. One.

I'm not finished yet.

- One...
- Ugh.

...or two?
- Oh, God. One.

- Who the fuck is Candace?
- Who?

- How do you know?
- So there's something to know?

- We... She... We work together.
- Uh-huh.

Why is she texting you,
"Sweetie. It's important. Call me"?

Uh, she's a little high maintenance.

That happens
when you fuck someone.

Believe me, I didn't fuck Candace.

We work together. That's all.

I don't care if you screw someone else,
just don't lie about it. Ever.

I'll turn it off.

- Shit.
- What?

- I gotta leave.
- Heh.

- Are you kidding me?
- It's a work thing. Um...

I'll make it up to you. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, okay?

I'll make it up to you. Tonight.

I don't think he's gonna wake up.

Mr. Gallagher? Mr. Gallagher?

- What the bejesus?
- Sorry.

We tried smelling salts,
caffeine injections, ice baths.

- Where am I?
- In the hospital.

You've been unconscious for two days
with alcohol poisoning.

Ah, that's nothing. Back in '95,
I was out for eight days.

Wait, wait. Hold on a second.
I'm Dr. Seery.

These are my residents.
We have a proposition for you.

You're hot, but it's been awhile
since I've been with a dude.

Never mind two.

You've misunderstood.

Uh, we'd like you to participate
in our medical study.

- Your what?
- In my career, I've never seen such...

...a spectacular display of alcoholism.
- Thank you.

Would you abstain from alcohol
for two weeks?

- No.
- We could offer you $3000.

Yes.

I was like, girl, you are not using
my eyeliner if you have pink eye.

And she was like, well, then,
you're not my friend anymore.

Hmm?

You're not listening, are you?

No. Sorry.

What's wrong with you?

I slept with someone. Not Kash.

- What?
- Yeah.

Well, detes, please? Who?

I can't tell you.

He's on the down low, you know.

Wow.

Yeah.

What are you doing?

Hiding our silver in case
they send us a thief.

We have three settings.
None of them match.

They were my Aunt Elva's.

Found my old football
one of my foster dads left me.

- What if it's a girl?
- She's gonna learn some kick-ass moves.

- Kev, ball, face left, spins right.
- Ha-ha-ha.

He's at the 30, the 20, the 10.
Touchdown.

Hello. I'm sorry.

I'm Mrs. Martini from the DCFS.

Oh, I'm Veronica.
This is my husband, Kevin.

Hey, heh. Hi. Nice to meet you.

Thank you for being available on
such short notice. Um, this is Ethel.

Wow. Okay. Hi.

Ethel and 70 other children
were removed from a religious sect.

Religious sect? You mean like a cult?

Say hello to your new
foster family, Ethel.

Hello.

And come back every three days
for a drug screening and brain scan.

In addition, you'll be wearing my RAM.

Remote alcohol monitor.
Designed it myself.

This fine piece of jewelry
will alert us to any alcohol use.

- Make it two weeks, you get the cash.
- Can I get an advance?

This green light is connected
to your bracelet.

Drink one sip of booze,
light turns red.

Take the bracelet off,
light turns red.

Spill rubbing alcohol on it,
light turns red.

Red light equals no cash.

Get ready to say goodbye
to three grand.

I'm a sober man.

- Usual, Frank?
- Didn't you hear me, Jess?

I'm sober now.

- Here you go. JB and an Old Style.
- Whoa! Whoa!

I'm sober as a 7-year-old.
Haven't had a drink in two days.

Granted, I've been unconscious.

But I figure if I can abstain
from alcohol when I'm out...

...how hard can it be to do
when I'm awake?

- What are you talking about?
- Medical study.

For the next two weeks,
my body is a temple.

No alcohol for this fella.
And I got this guy to keep me honest.

Lindsay Lohan,
how much are they paying you?

- Well, who says I'm getting paid?
- No, seriously, how much?

Never you mind what I'm making.

You should spend some time taking
a personal inventory...

...of what you're doing
for the betterment of society.

Why are you in a bar, Frank,
if you're not drinking?

Came in for some support.

The way I see it,
I've done a lot for the folks here...

...over the past couple of years.

And I could use a little help
from you all now.

I might hit some rough patches
the next few weeks.

So I'd like you all to commit
to not drinking too, in solidarity.

Like school children, when they shave
their head for the cancer kid.

So what say you all?
Who's ready...

...to put down the booze with me
for the next two weeks?

Fine.

Hope you all get AIDS.

Thanks.

Hey, girl. Here for your check?

- Yeah. Thanks, Gisella.
- Hey, Liam.

Fiona. No. I can't find it.
What job did you do?

Auto show last week.

- Aw, shit.
- What?

Jackasses at McCormick Place
handed in the time cards late.

Checks won't be in till next Friday.

- Are you serious?
- Yeah. Sorry about that.

Can I go pick it up?

- Payroll doesn't release funds early.
- I won't make it to next week.

Sticks and Skates Sports Bar may need
someone for this weekend.

- Still make you wear those uniforms?
- Yeah.

Might as well put a stage
and a stripper pole in that place.

I'm teaching a free PowerPoint class
for the next four Saturdays.

Get you an office job
once you're certified.

Starting pay is $20 an hour.

Hey, Sheila.
Karen already leave for school?

- No. Have you seen Frank?
- What, he hasn't been here?

Not in a few days.
I'm rather worried about him.

Oh. Sure he's just on a bender.
He'll surface.

- Yeah.
- What are you doing here?

The SAT guy that popped me, dragging
my ass out to the University of Chicago.

You're planning on going to college?

Fuck, no. I thought we'd check it out
though, you know.

Maybe steal some sweatshirts
from the bookstore.

Okay.

Hey, Ethel. Veronica's setting up for you
in the living room.

In the meantime, pick your poison.

Parcheesi? Monopoly? Clue?
No? Yes? Maybe?

Wanna go to the park?
Throw the old pig skin around?

I haven't done my chores today.

My chores.
Don't you have any for me to do?

No. Like what?

Scrubbing floors, washing dishes.

Hemming, pickling, canning, laundry?

Let's go grab a burger.

There's a new kids' place where
the waiters dress like famous gangsters.

Although I have no idea what
that has to do with kids. Or burgers.

What?

The Bible says
that chores keep the soul pure.

It does?

All right. Let's go find you
some chores to do.

I'm sorry we can't fool around.

That's cool. I get it.

A woman's fertile for five days.
Linda looked it up online.

Oh, yeah?

Is everything okay with you?

Totally.

It's her.

She's ripe.

I gotta go.

I guess I'll see you later?

Yeah.

Okay.

Mother...

Frank.

Oh. Frank. Frank.

I worried about you.

Where have you been?
Are you alright?

- I'm not alright.
- No?

I gotta stay sober two weeks.
I'm not gonna make it.

Do we have cigarettes?
I really need a cigarette.

Oh, Frank, I'm so proud of you.

Don't be proud. It's been an hour.
You gotta help me.

Keep me busy. Entertain me.

All right, Frankie. Okay.

That's good, Sheils.
That's really good.

Just keep doing that
for the next two weeks, okay?

I hear it.

So when you're not busting
SAT cheaters, you're a teacher?

- Professor.
- Oh.

SAT's a side gig.
Pays for my boat.

- Which gets you laid, I'm guessing?
- Ha, ha, no.

The beard gets me laid.
Chicks dig a beard.

I'll keep that in mind.

You planning on going to college?

You know, Professor Hurst thinks
Lip's a genius.

I think he is, too, heh.

That's cute.

I'd like you to attend
the university next semester.

I still have a year and a half
of high school.

Well, test out.
You know you're capable.

Pay for it with what?
Beard get me money, too?

There's grants you can apply for.

There's loans. It'll pay for the school,
the dorm, your meal card.

And then, I end up owing
like a half million bucks, right?

Well, you're a clever kid.
You'll figure a way to stiff Uncle Sam.

I don't know.
Sounds like a lot of trouble to me.

- Well, it's better than the alternative.
- And what's that?

- Well, that girl that you're with?
- Uh-huh.

You'll knock her up, or someone like her.
And she'll say it happened accidentally...

...but you'll always wonder
if it happened accidentally on purpose.

You'll get a job at Best Buy.

And with luck, you'll make
assistant manager by the time you're 30.

Unless of course, the anger that
you suppressed finally bubbles over...

...and you mouth off to the wrong person
and you get fired.

And you won't be able to hold a job
because you'll know the truth.

And what's that?

That you never lived up
to your potential.

And the only way to numb the pain
of underachieving is with booze...

...and with meth.

The old "philosophical professor
who's gonna set the troubled teen...

...on the right track."
It's a little trite, don't you think?

Oh.

I mean, how many of us
has that actually worked on?

Not enough. There's no shortage
of brilliant kids just like yourself...

...who are too stupid
to get out of the 'hood.

- And how do we usually respond?
- You tell me to fuck off.

I guess you saved me the trouble.

Actually, no. Fuck off.

Listen, I got a class.

Why don't you take a peek inside here
before you go?

This is the robotics lab.
It is the best in the country.

Just, uh, poke around.
Come by any time.

Wear a condom, Phillip.

Got any eights?

Go fish.

How about fours? Got any fours?

Oh, shit, it's only been 90 minutes.

- You want some more coffee?
- Oh, no. I'm crawling out of my skin.

Well, I know another thing
that might kill some time.

No, no. Have mercy on me.

I can't handle anything
up my ass without alcohol.

Listen, we'll make it all be
about you, okay?

Come on.

Come on, sweetie.

Got any Slim Jims in this shit hole?

Yep, in the back room.

Sure we can't help, Ethel?

- Don't kick me because you don't clean.
- The carpet is fine. I swiffered last week.

I just feel icky about this.
We're supposed to be taking care of her.

It makes her happy when she cleans.

- She's not our slave, V.
- Do you see her picking cotton?

All finished. Can I help you with
your chores now, Veronica?

Ha-ha-ha.

At my house,
all the wives split the chores.

"All the wives"?

- You're one of five wives?
- Married to a dude named Clyde?

- Who's 65 years old?
- And how old are you?

Thirteen.

Oh, my...

I'm gonna bust your ass.

- What's the total right now?
- Um...

Seven dollars and 56 cents.

- Okay.
- Okay keep going or you wanna pay?

Keep going.

Excuse me, where's the bathroom?

Uh, door to the left of the butcher.

Thanks. Okay, baby. We're going.

Okay, your total is $18.72.

It's all right.
Mama is gonna change your diaper.

How much without the diapers?

Hang in there, Liam.

Oh, damn. Did I forget your diapers?

I do that all the time.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

We got them.

So I guess this was
like a booty call, huh?

Whatever. See you.

Maybe you're not attracted to me
anymore.

Give it a minute.

My hand. I'm cramping up.

- Use your mouth.
- Okay.

He doesn't even know I'm here.

Sheils, you're not putting an IV in it.

Come out, come out,
wherever you are, heh.

Looks like a gummy worm.

I'm going for a jog.

That's a nice idea too.

You're doing great, Frank.
You're doing great.

Everything's fine.
You're gonna make it.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
It's been, uh...

...37 years since my last confession.

America, America,
God shed his grace on thee.

Mars, Venus, Earth, Mercury, Jupiter...
Many very early Martians jumpstart...

Pluto. Pluto. Pluto? It's not even
a goddamn planet anymore.

It got demoted. Just like St. Christopher.
Oh, God.

Daddy?

Debbie, what are you doing here?

This is where I play after school.

- It is?
- You okay, Daddy?

Gave up the booze.
Not feeling too good.

Want some Hawaiian Punch?

Mm. Mm.

So good. Why is it so good?

It's all sugar.

Can we get more of this?

This is nice, isn't it, Deb?

The two of us hanging out,
getting to know each other.

Yeah.

Why don't we do this more often?

Well, we should do this more often.

Wanna snort the next batch?

No.

What are we doing here?

Seriously, from, uh, my vantage point,
looks like we're on the verge of fucking.

No, I mean, you and me. What are we?

- We've always been friends.
- Just friends?

Yeah. You know.

Friends who like to do this.

- Right?
- Right. I knew that.

I was just checking.

Oh, fuck.

You have a bedroom, Lip.

Yeah, says the girl who had sex
on the stairs last night.

- Hallway.
- I stand corrected.

Kev and V are on their way over
with meat sauce.

- Is that an euphemism?
- I bought pasta.

They're bringing their foster kid over.

Paint ball rocks.
I had the best day of my life.

- Did you wear a face guard?
- Nope.

Hey, hey, I want you guys to meet
our new daughter.

- Foster daughter.
- Why you gotta do that?

Let me help you with that.

- You weren't kidding about her.
- I know.

Hi, I'm Karen. Nice to meet you.

Oh, right.
Because it's 18th-century England.

Frankie's home.

Oh, my God, I am so wired.

- Debs, what's going on?
- We got high on sugar...

...because Daddy quit drinking.

- Whose daddy?
- Me Daddy. Me, me, me. Mm.

- Oh, shit.
- What?

He's done this once before.

We gotta help Daddy stay busy
and keep off of drinking...

...so he can make $3000.

Hey, everybody, come here.
Gather around.

I got something I wanna say. Um...

I know I haven't been
the most exemplary father...

...for the past three or 15 years.

But I'm gonna need your help
to get through this.

From this point forward,
we're going to be a family again.

What the hell is that?

Ready, set, go.

Go, go, go.

Aah!

Oh, my God.

Hey, the piano.

I didn't know Frank played the piano.

Neither did I.

Just walk away, walk out the door

Just turn around now

'Cause you're not welcome anymore

Weren't you the one
Who tried to hurt me with good-bye

Did you think I'd crumble

Did you think I'd lay down and die

I can't believe you guys are buying into
all of his bullshit.

Come on. I'll walk you home.

What difference does it make?
He'll be drinking by tomorrow.

No. Not when money's involved.

Damn. What's wrong
with cranky pants tonight?

I mean, it's family night.

"Got caught up.
Check in with you tomorrow."

- That from Steve?
- Yeah.

He was acting weird this morning
after Candace texted him.

Said he works with her.
Don't know if I believe him.

Okay, any requests?

"Carry Me Home on the Cross"?

- Thanks for dinner.
- You supplied the spaghetti.

Yeah, with no sauce?
I'm hanging by a thread.

You're talking to someone...

...who's renting a kid for money.
- Heh.

- Gotta find something more permanent.
- Like what?

Could take a PowerPoint class.
Or Sticks and Skates may be hiring.

You mean, Dicks and Dates?

Maybe Frank will stay sober
and get the cash.

Maybe I'll win the lottery.

Hey, you think Steve's lying?

Probably.

- If I find out he is, I'm done with him.
- Done with who?

Steve. He's getting text messages
from some bitch named Candace.

Candace? Uh-oh. That sounds like a woman
you have an affair with.

- It does?
- No.

Please. That fool doesn't have
enough game to cheat.

- Did you ask him if he was?
- He said he wasn't.

Then you have two choices,
believe him or don't.

Or you could let
your suspicions grow...

...until you turn into the ice queen
and act like he's invisible.

Until he starts sending
anonymous threatening notes...

...and you report his ass to the po-po.

Ha, ha. Who was that? Brian?

- Brian, Joey, Michael, heh.
- Heh.

Every guy you've been with,
you cut and run.

Maybe it's time
you tried something new.

- Damn, baby, that was good.
- Being a dad brings out the best in me.

You're not a dad.

We got a football game starting out.
Shirts against skins.

- Sweet.
- Uh...

You two are skins.

I have no idea what PowerPoint is,
but you're smart.

I know you're gonna be great at it.

Hello?

Anybody here?

- I'm home.
- Hey, there he is.

Little brother.
Flight from Detroit okay?

- Yeah, yeah, fine.
- Yeah? How's school?

Ah, piece of cake so far.

That's what you get for going
to Michigan instead of Harvard.

- Oh! You set me up for that, huh?
- Huh, huh? You didn't see that coming.

Sorry to drag you back to Chicago
for all this.

- How's the practice?
- Busy.

Thank God for fast food and stress.
It's a platinum Amex for cardiologists.

- Hey, you.
- Hey.

- I missed you.
- Mm, thanks.

We're all in the kitchen having tea.

- Yeah. I'll be right there.
- I'll tell your mother.

I got three fucking kids at home
and you're going balls deep in that.

You're fucking killing me, Jimmy.

Welcome home.

First pub crawl I did was
when I was 16.

Hit 22 pubs before I hurled.

Got right back on the horse,
hit 10 more, hurled again.

That's how I got the nickname
Boot and Rally.

- Cool.
- Ha, ha.

Anyone seen the laptop?

What's going on in here?

Daddy made us some
Mickey Mouse pancakes.

- Are you serious?
- Mm-hm.

What did I tell you? Still not drinking
till he gets his money.

- If I ever drink again.
- Right.

- Java's my vice now.
- Drunk or sober, you're still an asshole.

- Lip.
- It's okay, Deb.

Everyone's got a right to his opinion.
That's what makes this country so great.

- Want orange juice?
- Yeah.

Where'd you get this
to make breakfast?

Traded some old Hustler magazines
with Rusty the drunk.

He's a dishwasher at the Denny's over
on West 95th Street. You want some OJ?

No. Oh.

Found it.
I'm taking this to the job center.

Come on, Debs, Carl, grab your coats.
Told Kev we'd be over in five.

- That weird girl have to come with us?
- Where you going?

Bowling. Lip knows a kid
who can get us in for free. Wanna come?

- No, Debs. I don't think he can.
- Hey, I'd love to come.

Just let me clean this place up first.

- Okay.
- Excuse me.

- What?
- Clear the table.

Hey, the Gallaghers invited us
to go bowling.

- What are you doing?
- Veronica asked me to do her chores.

- She would help me with mine next week.
- No.

- What?
- Put that down. Put that down.

Look, I know the Bible says
you get closer to God and crap...

...if you sew the holes in my socks,
but this is just wrong. It's Saturday.

In my house, the way to get
closer to God on Saturday is to play.

- Is that in Ezekiel?
- Yeah, the updated version.

- Change out of that Laura Ingalls dress.
- Oh, yes, sir.

And don't call me sir.

We are gonna have so much fun.

Yeah. It's open.

Hey, Ethel, let's get a move on, huh?

Holy fuck.

- I am ready for you, sir.
- What are you doing?

Clyde had me on Tuesdays,
but if you want me on Saturday...

No, I don't want you on Saturdays.

Hey, Kev, we're all ready to...

- I...
- No, Lip. Lip, wait.

No, you use "me" because
it's the object of the preposition.

So it's, "with Max and me"?

- Yup.
- It sounds weird.

- I'm telling you, it's right.
- Heh, okay.

Douche bags.

Ass face.

- Gotta go to the bathroom.
- Hold the handle down when you flush.

Okay.

Hey? Do you want a pizza bagel?

Sure.

Show of hands,
how many of you know Word?

All right. Microsoft Excel?

Let's get started.
Gladys, can you get the lights?

Open up the PowerPoint template which
can be found in your Microsoft suite.

In the dialog box,
enter the title of your presentation.

Take a moment now
to use the tool bar...

...and experiment
with color, font and size of your text.

I must warn you, I have bowled before.

Hey, you wanna put some money on it?
Just for fun.

That's what I'm talking about. Yes.

- For you. I love you.
- Yeah.

- Did you see that?
- Yeah.

- Go dad.
- I'm hot, ho, ho.

Look out.

Guys, don't get too used to this, okay?

What?

Well, Dad's not always gonna be
so nice.

Yes, he will.

No. Not when he starts drinking again,
okay?

He'll go back to his ways.
I don't want you getting hurt.

- Hurt?
- All right, Deb. Here's a spare.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, um...

Remember that turtle you had
last summer?

- Walter?
- Yeah, yeah, Walter.

And you guys were really, really
into him for like two weeks...

...and you talked to him
and you fed him.

I mean, you took him everywhere
with you, right?

But after a while, you know,
you guys got busy with other things...

...so Walter's water never got changed
and nobody fed him.

Then like two months later...

...Debs, you wanted to show off Walter
to your friend Susie...

...and you guys started looking for him
and when you found him...

...he was all dried up and dead.

Now, you see,
you guys are that turtle, okay?

And Dad's you.

You get what I'm saying?

Dad's buying us another turtle?

No.

No, no. Forget it. Never mind.

Don't worry, Lip, I get it.

Daddy's gonna forget about us
when he starts drinking again.

It's okay. I don't mind.

I'm gonna enjoy this while it lasts
if that's okay.

Yeah. Sure, Debs. That's, um...

That's a good plan.

It took you long enough.

Yeah. Your dad was in there forever.

Shove over, faggots.

Watch and learn.

No worries.

In period number three.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- That's, uh, 36 bucks.
- I got it.

Keep the change, darling.

Thanks.

- Hey, sorry I'm late.
- No biggie.

Good news.

Linda's done with me this month.

Oh, yeah?

Maybe we could, um, adjust the cameras
for old times' sake?

"Then I hear it. Several pairs of feet
breaking into a run.

The fire starter must have dozed off.
They're on her before she can escape..."

Any chance of you getting a job...

- ...now that you're sober?
- Shh!

We're getting to the part where Katniss
releases the jackers that kill Glimmer.

Dinner in the kitchen if you want.

"Then, there's laughter and
congratulations from several voices.

'Twelve down, 11 to go."'

Hey, I'm going out.

What's up?

Hard day.

Why are you so upset with Dad?

Fiona, we've, uh, been through this before.
Remember?

The last time Dad was sober.

Yeah. So?

He, uh, had a bet with some guy at the bar
and became the perfect dad.

It was the first time
he ever came to little league.

And, uh, I hit a double.

Fucking never saw him so proud.

You knew he was gonna go back
to his regular shitty self.

No, that's, uh, the thing.

I didn't know.

- Hi.
- What are you doing?

I was, uh, gonna go back,
check out that lab. You wanna come?

Okay.

Why didn't you just go
to the front door?

This seemed more romantic.

- I didn't know if you were with someone.
- Jason snuck out an hour ago.

- Jason Pierce?
- Maybe.

Heh, he just showed me a website
to steal music. I'll be right down.

All right.

Not even in the mood, V.

- What's up?
- You know what's up.

Is this about the kid?

- Yeah.
- What now?

You made her do your chores
and you promised to do hers next week?

- So?
- You lied to her.

- She's not even gonna be here.
- What's the big deal? She's a freak.

V, that girl needs us.
You heard that messed up story of hers.

She thought
I wanted to have sex with her today.

- What?
- Yeah, sex.

A 13-year-old girl.

Who knows what crazy family
she's gonna get if we give her back.

Kevin, we're not keeping her.

I think we should
until she gets a permanent home.

We could help her live
like a normal child.

- This is none of our business.
- We signed on for it.

No, you signed on for it.
I signed on for the money.

- Where are you going?
- I'm sleeping on the couch.

Mom?

What's wrong?

Frank left.

No, he didn't. He's at the Gallagher's.

Because he's lost interest in me.

Lip says he'll be back to normal
as soon as he starts drinking again.

- You think so?
- I do.

- What the hell is that?
- What?

- Dad, what are you doing?
- You fucking kidding me?

Remodeling. Son, grab that copper wire.
It's worth a lot of money these days.

- No. Dad, stop.
- Why the fuck is our couch on the wall?

We need a fresh start.

- There's a gas line right there.
- Oh.

All right. Fine. We'll start the demolition
in the bathroom, kids.

- Yeah.
- Okay, heh.

Good. Good.

Last time he ripped up the floor boards.
Remember?

Shit.

Said he was gonna put in Saltillo tiles.
Of course, never did.

Yeah, and I had to date that flooring guy
for a month to get him to finish the work.

What are we gonna do?

We have to kill the turtle.

Daddy and Carl are up in the attic
to cut a hole in the roof for a skylight.

- It's time to kill the turtle.
- Uh...

Debs, you know that you guys
are the turtle in my story, right?

Oh, right.

- That's okay. I get what you're saying.
- Thanks.

- You sure about this?
- It'll hurt less...

...than if we wait two more weeks.

- Okay.
- What's up with the turtle?

You wouldn't understand.

Daddy, help. I think I see a mouse.

A mouse? Uh, hold on. I'll be right down.

Where is the little...?

I thought the taser didn't work.

Yeah. I just told Carl that.

I took the batteries out.

All right, open his mouth.

No. No.

No. No. No.

What happened?

It's better this way, Carl.

- You seen Kev?
- He went to play basketball.

Oh.

How about some breakfast?
I make a mean French toast.

Come on. Put the Brillo down.

Sit.

When I was a kid,
my mother would make...

...anything we wanted for dinner
on our birthday.

I always asked for French toast.

- Hey.
- Hey.

We're having French toast.

Cool.

I'm gonna take a shower.
Be right back.

Could I ask a favor, please?

Sure, sweetie.

If I'm gonna be staying here
for a while...

...would it be all right
if my son Jonah came to visit?

It is absolutely critical that as we move
to get recovery back on track...

...that we commit
to the American people...

...that if we get on a path...

Just bracelet. No bone.

Now, again, we propose to do that...

I'm so sorry I've been MIA.
I just had to...

I didn't even notice.

Come on, little Tim Geithner's telling us
how everything's okay.

- Frank.
- Fuck off.

Are you drunk?

- That I am.
- Heh.