Shameless (2011–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Casey Casden - full transcript

For those of you
who are too fucking busy,

this is what happened
last week on Shameless.

I left them.

Get fucked!

This your home now?

First time in my life
I ever felt like

I actually belonged somewhere.

What's it like with my dad
living at your house?

Weird.
It's only going to get weirder.

Last night was my first time.

You mean your
first time with me.

Virgin?
Yep.

Aunt Ginger has to go back?

Don't make her go.

She doesn't belong to us.

Old guy next door died in March,

which I guess, technically,
makes us next-door neighbors!

Where's my damn toaster?

Leave me alone!
You would not be so pissed off

if you didn't care.

When I saw the way you looked

at Steve,
like a D-O-G in heat.

My mom heard about it.

She invited you to dinner.

Hi.

("The Luck You Got"
by The High Strung beings)

♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪

♪ Know that it's not for naught ♪

♪ You were beaming once before ♪

♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪

♪ What is this downside ♪

♪ That you speak of♪ ♪

♪ What is this feeling you're so sure of♪ ♪

♪ Round up the friends you got ♪

♪ Know that they're not for naught ♪

♪ You were willing once before ♪

♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪

♪ What is this downside ♪

♪ That you speak of♪ ♪

♪ What is this feeling ♪

♪ You're so... sure of♪ ♪

Aw.

Sweet little baby.

Scarf on...

(humming happily)

Debbie, come in and eat
your breakfast, okay?

You're up next in the shower.

I want to play for a while.

Ask Carl if he'll come out
and get in the stroller.

The last time
you asked Carl to play,

you were locked in
the basement for half a day.

That was on purpose.

And we were playing
"Loser Goes to Gitmo."

FIONA: Let's go! And put that
stroller back in the garbage.

(metal creaking)

Oh, man, yeah...
That's, uh, it's dead.

You sure?
Uh-huh.

The element's rusted out.

Anyone want to make some
Tollhouse cookies with me?

How much to replace it?

Uh, two bills used, four new.

FIONA:
Shit.

How about a pie?

I can get started on the crust.

Go take your shower.

I... wanna... make... pie.

You know what?
Hand me the obits.

Maybe, uh, we can scrounge
a dead person's water heater.

Thank you.

Ah, Mrs. Dombrowski.

Oh, the, uh, shaky neck lady?

I thought she drowned
a couple years ago.

DEBBIE: No. Mrs. Goga
had the shaky neck,

and she drowned in her
own vomit last Easter.

No pie. Get in the shower.
I'm not saying it again.

Carl, no.

I went to school
with Kenny Dombrowski.

Think he had a crush on me.

Her wake's this morning.
Let's go.

Mm.
Up, up, up.

Can I come?

Um... no.

Debbie, what is
going on with you?

Nothing.

(Fiona sighs with frustration)

(inhales)

Oof. Shower.

After Debbie.

Towel and robe,
upstairs. Go.

(Liam jabbers)

And you need to learn how
to change your own diaper.

(people talking outside)

MAN: All right, it's
getting kind of windy.

Beautiful day for a party!

MAN: It's for kids, Frank!
No booze!

(quietly):
Son of a...

Oh...

How would you like
your eggs, sweetie?

Fluffy.
Oh.

They're having a party
across the street.

What, dear?

Across the street.

Some sort of a party for kids.

No booze.

What's the point?

♪ ♪

Dad?

KAREN:
What the hell is he doing here?

(laughing)

(heavy breathing)

Debbie?

What? What?
Stay focused, baby.

Are the Gallaghers
in our bathroom?

Oh, I know what you need, huh?

Huh?
Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Want some...
Yeah? Mm-hmm.

(kissing)

Ooh...

All right, they're ready.
Aha.

Fluffy, fluffy,
floo-floo.

Went to see a lawyer.

It turns out I can't afford
to live somewhere else

and support you two.

Three.

Why can't you stay
with Uncle Ray?

He's got gangrene.

You ever smell a rotting foot?

Hey.

Why don't you get me a refill
there, huh, Karen, honey?

What, did you lose
your fucking legs?

Yeah, that's your teenage,
diseased mind talking.

EDDIE:
You know, you tasted penii,

and now you're just crazy.

(coughing)

(funky intro begins)

♪ It's hotter, it's sweeter ♪

♪ It's hotter, it's sweeter ♪

♪ Hotter, sweeter ♪

♪ Hotter, sweeter ♪

♪ Hotter, sweeter ♪

♪ Hotter, sweeter ♪

(shower running)

(flushes)

(screams)

Oh, shit! That's cold!

What the hell? Veronica!

There's no hot water.

What?

Fucking Gallaghers!

Well, look at you, just letting
yourself into people's houses.

Tall grande latte, two shots.

Sugar?
Absolutely.

Kids home?

Mm...

Boys're out getting
a water heater,

Debbie's at the park,

Carl's out looking for small
defenseless pets to torture,

and Liam's down for a nap.

So...

No.

I'm up to my ass in housework.

That's why I'm taking you to

a long, deep, leisurely lunch.

Lunch?

It's a euphemism.

How quaint.

Or, would you like a Demon dog
and a quick fuck

over at the Sheridan?

Liam?
Get a sitter.

Costs too much.

How much?

At least 50 bucks.

You're not paying me
to fuck you.

No, I couldn't pay you enough.

(distant thud)

Did you hear that?

No.

You didn't hear that?

You trying to
change the subject?

(thudding)

Liam?

He's too lazy to get out of his crib...
He just yells.

(thudding)

You stay with Liam.
Wait, wait, wait...

(whispering): You take
the baby, I'll take the bat.

(whispers indistinctly)

(clattering)

Debbie! Jesus!

Thought you went to the park.

I... came back.

Are you okay?

Katie Crasden's having a party.

Katie Crasden?

Two streets over.

STEVE: And she...
didn't invite you?

She's only three.

What happened?

Well, I was just walking past,

and her dad, he...

Her dad did what?

He was laughing and playing
with them, and it just...

It wasn't fair.

What wasn't fair? What?

Everything.

So I, I, um...

I stole something.

Oh...
(sighs)

So nobody touched you?

What?

You nearly gave me
a heart attack.

TODDLER:
A bike.

TODDLER:
Race car... Don't hit the train!

Debbie?

(giggles)

Who the hell is that?

(siren wailing)

WOMAN: We'll all be...
We'll just organize.

We'll be okay.

(sirens approaching)

(sirens stop)
MAN: Just relax.

Oh, here we go!

No traffic tickets
to issue today?

No one to pull over for swinging
wide on a left-hand turn?

Or is this a supportive
"friend party" for a cop

who shot some poor fucker
wasn't even armed?!

Leave the people
around here alone.

They're good folks!

Who are the parents?

Let's go, people.
Out of the way.

Your child's missing?

MAN:
Yeah. I need your names

and the name of the child.

Beth and Gary Casden.

- Mr. and Mrs. Casden, when is
the last time you saw...? - Uh, Ca-Casey.

It's been about an hour ago.

Okay, okay.
What was he wearing?

(chuckles)

Debbie, why would you steal

a little girl?

Why would you steal a little boy

and dress him
like a little girl?

(speaks indistinctly, laughs)

I wanted a girl,
but there weren't any.

Then back
to my initial question:

Why would you steal
a baby at all?

I miss Ginger.

What?
Who?

You took away Aunt Ginger!

Who is Aunt Ginger?

Somebody we borrowed
from V's nursing home.

What?

She was my friend.

We have to take him back
right away, okay?

Where are his boy clothes?

I washed them.

Oh, my God, it shrunk!

You put it in the dryer?

That's what you do
after you wash something.

Um, we can put him in
some of Liam's clothes.

We can't bring
a missing kid back

wearing different clothes.

People will say
we did something to him.

Something bad.

MIKE (over P.A.):
Attention: This is...

Attention:
This is the Chicago...

Push, then...
I know what to push.

Attention!
This is the Chicago...

No. All right.
What are you doing?

Mike, we have to get
the information out.

Then let me drive.
No.

Look, I've been a cop
a lot longer than you.

You don't get to drive
and talk on the loudspeaker.

What, are you gonna
call your uncle?

Attention: This is the Chicago
Police Department.

We're looking for a missing
two-year-old...

IAN: So we're just
gonna wait out here?

He's a chain-smoking
pothead in

a stress-inducing situation;
he'll be out soon.

What are we supposed to say?

I don't know.
Just play it cool.

Play what cool?

Things people play cool.
Jesus, Ian!

(phone rings)

You got your own cell?

No, some kid left it in the cafeteria.
Ah.

Hey, Kare.

Yeah, I'm at some
dead lady's house

trying to see if I can
score a water heater.

Meet me after?

FIONA:
Hey, V?!

I'm in the bathroom!

Hey, I'm in a bit of a jam.

Can you watch him
for 15 minutes?

Damn, Fi, you see I'm in
the middle of doing my...

Thanks.
Okay, sure.

Hey, Li...!

Who the fuck are you?

(siren approaching)

Oh, shit!

Hey, Fiona.

Hey, Tony.

You remember Steve?

Yeah. How's it going?

Uh, hear about the missing boy?

No. What happened?

Got taken from a front yard
birthday party.

Do they think he might have
just wandered off?

We've got everybody out looking:

choppers, SWAT, couple dozen
extra units, Amber alerts.

Wow. Really.

We're gonna catch the bastard
that took little Casey

and chop his pedophile nuts off.

(helicopter passes, siren wails)

Less than two hours ago, a young
boy, only two years of age,

was abducted
from his front yard.

You see this?

This is what happens
when the world goes crazy.

People steal kids.

And Rastafarians
are allowed to roam free.

I don't mean real Rastafarians.

I mean Rastaman Goldberg's
from Lake Forest

with rich parents who get
dropped off in Town Cars

to go beg for money on
the streets.

What a load of crap.

Obamacare, my ass!

What the news people
don't tell you?

They love it
when kids get stolen.

They're just looking
for a good story

to saturate our airwaves with.

And why are all
the news ladies Chinese?

They should stick
to what they know:

railroads... sushi...dim sum.

Frank, guess what.

I made muffins using
a Bundt cake batter.

I didn't even need
to add another egg.

(chuckles)

Hi, sweetie.

The shithead gone?

He just left for work.

EDDIE:
I'm still here.

Just getting my coat.

I just had some
delicious penii.

SHEILA: What?

Little Casey up the street?
Gone missing

right from his own backyard.

Oh, that's terrible.

You missed...

(newscast playing quietly)

MAN (on TV): ...Casey is
a loving and kind child...

(sultry groan)

Mm...!

(newscast continues quietly)

MAN:
It was less than that!

WOMAN: My husband Mark
said that he saw...

I know you're
all concerned, okay? I know.

Everybody calm down...
I'll get to all of you, okay?

Uh, you first, okay?
All right. We...

I wasn't sure what size,
so bought three just in case.

Oh, slow down. Stop the car!
What?

Hey! Hey!

Hey, almost new.

Debbie stole a baby...
We have to figure out

how to return it.

Debbie stole a baby?
STEVE: Yeah.

Why?

It's Debbie.

I did not see that coming.

Um... can't we
just give it back?

I wish we could.
It's too late now.

Wow.

Find Carl and get home now.

Yeah.

TONY (over P.A.): We're looking
for a missing boy named Casey.

Last seen wearing
a Superman costume.

Two years old.

Any information would be
greatly appreciated.

No questions asked.

Why the fuck wouldn't
we ask questions?

Because we want people
to feel safe.

How do you find out what happened
if you don't ask questions?

You understand
the premise, right?

People feel safe,
they give information,

we find the kid.

Safe, my ass.
I'm asking questions.

Okay, yeah.
I'm gonna ask fucking questions.

That's what you do. Go ahead.
Yeah, sure.

You do what you want to do.

Casey Casden, last seen

(in distance):
...wearing a Superman costume...

Kev, stop!

What's Liam doing here?

It's not Liam.

Who the hell is this?!
I don't know.

Fiona dropped him off.

TONY (over P.A.):
Attention, all residents.

There is a child still missing.

Approximately two years of age,

and wearing a Superman costume.

If you've seen this boy...
Fucking Gallaghers.

When I was a kid, we could go
to a birthday party

and our parents wouldn't worry
that we were gonna get stolen

out of the front yard
by some perv.

That's when America had values.

Before Wal-Mart and Dukakis,

peanut butter and jelly in one jar.

You know, you're too young
to remember this,

but there was a time when
policemen were respected,

when young men wanted
to fight for their country.

When you could go vote twice

for Mayor Daley,
down at the 11th Ward.

Before some liberal pricks
elected a Muslim

who isn't even American?

FIONA:
We need to get

your stories straight
for the police.

Why did you take the boy?

He was crying for his mom,
and his mom wasn't around.

Did you try to find his mom?

No, he was crying and
nobody cared, so I took him.

You can't say that! What's wrong with you?!
Hey, Fi!

You know what, Debs?

Was he inside or outside
of the yard

when you grabbed him?

Inside.

Well, okay, so how'd
you get him out?

I waved a Snickers bar at him.

Did anybody see you?

I don't think so.
We just ran.

That wasn't suspicious.

So you were running
down the street...

I used a stroller.

FIONA:
What stroller?

Liam's old one.

The one I told you
to throw out?

I fixed it.

For emergencies.

(banging on door)

VERONICA:
Open up! Hurry!

Oh, shit.

What in the hell is going on?

Is this that missing kid?

Debbie stole him.
And now we have to figure out

how to give him back without
getting her 36 months in juvie.

Why in the world
would she steal...

There must be
a couple hundred cops out there.

I know. I'm so sorry.

Debs, will you watch him
for a second?

VERONICA:
Come with us.

Casey, we're gonna play
a couple games, okay?

I'm not sure what's
going on with her.

Oh, maybe it's 'cause your mom
bailed and Frank's a big drunk.

Oh, what, I'm asshole now?
She's the one who stole a baby.

All right, look, she
obviously planned it.

I mean, she took a stroller out
of the garbage and she fixed it.

All right, hey, Debbie's
still is a little kid.

Worst thing that happens
is she gets some help.

Help?
What kind of help?

She stole a baby.
She's not crazy.

She just sort of accidentally took a kid.
Not if she lured

him out of the yard
with a candy bar.

What are you suggesting?

Some kind or professional...

What, a shrink?

Gallaghers do not do therapy.

TONY (over P.A.):
We're looking for

a missing two-year-old boy...
Casey Casden.

He was last seen wearing
a Superman costume.

If you have any information,
call 911.

Lip, we need a plan to get
that boy back to his family

or Family Services is
gonna have a field day.

Family Services?

If they find out Frank's moved,

they'll take the kids.

Split 'em up.

Remember what happened
last time?

Shit.
Exactly.

All right, Carl, you know
that pay phone that's outside

of the Kash and Grab?

Yeah.
All right, I want you to get

on your bike,
go to the pay phone,

call the police, tell them
that you saw a little boy

walking down Southport Avenue
at 2:45, okay?

Why should I?
Want to be in

a children's home
until you're 18?

Group home on Union has
a climbing wall.

Carl...

(sighs)
I don't have a bike.

Wire cutter's
in the junk drawer.

What...?

Steve, Fiona,
you guys have to get Debs

to take that kid back.

I don't know that
I can make that happen.

Fiona, you have to,
or else we're all fucked.

Okay.

Why do I have to do it?

Because we've already
told the police

we don't know
anything about it.

I'm not a good liar.

You can do this.

I'm not!
You always say so!

Oh, hey, you know what, Debs?
It's been hours,

and Casey's parents are probably
really worried about him.

You remember that pie
you wanted to make?

Let's do that tonight.

What do I have to do?

I saw a little boy walking down
Southport Avenue

at, like, 2:45.

2:45?
Yeah, 2:45!

Asshole.

Got a sighting.

Kid saw the boy walking
down Southport.

DEBBIE:I was walking up
Southport Avenue

when I saw little Casey.

Nah...
You didn't know his name.

A little boy.

Yeah.
All alone.

All alone...

and crying.

I asked her where her mom went.

Not her.

Oh, um, I asked him

where his mom was.

And she didn't know.

He seemed upset,
so I gave him some chocolate.

Good, Debs.
You're doing great.

LIP: All right, Veronica,
I want you to go

to the cleaners,
ask Mrs. Bergdoll

to use the phone in the back.

That woman's a cold bitch.
I've got something for that, okay?

Don't worry about it.

Hey, Mrs. B., can I use

your phone really quick?

I got some green bud
for your glaucoma.

Mm...!

I saw a little boy
with a Superman

suit walking down Grand Avenue.

What time was that?

About 15 minutes ago.

And I thought,
maybe this is the little boy

everyone's been talking about.

I'm sorry...

A Spider-Man suit?

I didn't say Spider-Man;
I said Superman.

He had a cape and he was walking
with a little girl.

Can you describe the...
Asshole.

DEBBIE: So I went to the phone
outside Connie's Pizza

and called the police.

But I couldn't use the phone,
because it was broken.

And did you try
to call anyone else?

Yes, I did.

Oh. Right.

I was standing on the street,

and I asked people
who were passing

if I could use their phone.

I said it was an emergency,
but no one listened.

I don't know if it was
because I was young or...

Oh!

Poor!

(newscast plays
indistinctly in distance)

Ha-ha-ha-ho.

Okay, let's see...

(gasps anxiously)

(sighs)

Frank?!

Oh... what am I gonna do?

Stop?

(groans quietly)

(unzips)

(farting)

Hi, Frank.
Shit!

Sorry! Karen!

I thought you were gone.

Frank?

Pass me a towel?

(wry laugh)

You got it all wet.

A hand towel is fine.

And don't throw it, please.

Casey!

(heavy sigh)

Kev, what time you
going to work today?

Uh, I go in at 6:00.
You're going in early.

You should go in,
tell them you saw

a little boy
in a Superman costume

walking down Grand Avenue.

What are you doing here?
You're not on till 6:00.

But I'm here now;
what's the harm?

Gary! How you doin', man?
Hey!

Another Old Style?
Yep.

Gosh, you know what?

I am feeling nostaglic today.

Did you hear what I said?

Said I was feeling nostalgic.

MAN:
What's nostalgic?

Well, I'm glad you asked.

I was walking to work,
and I saw this cute little kid

wearing a Superman costume.

You know,
with the cape and everything?

Takes you back.
He was a cute kid.

Yeah, Superman costume.

Cute little kid.

A little kid in a
Superman costume?

Superman costume.
Sandy hair.

That's the little boy
that's missing.

Where did you see him?

On Grand. I just passed him,
like, five minutes ago.

Well, we have to
call that in, Kev.

Yes, we do!

Hey, how's my
favorite lady doing?

Well, she'll be better when her
Powerball numbers come up,

and Allied Shippers can
kiss her fine black ass.

(both laughing)

Yeah, I got a good feeling on that one.
You say that every week.

Four vodka tonics?

No, only three today.

Marilyn wants a virgin colada.

She blacked out last night,
so she a little nervous.

No, no, no, no, if I can't buy
my girlfriend's mom drinks,

what good am I?
No damn good.

That's right.
Can I get these for you?

No. I got 'em.

(giggling)

Ladies, how you doing?

I'm just gonna grab
these glasses... that okay?

You can grab anything
of mine you like.

What's your name?
Kev.

Kev. That's nice and short
and easy to whisper, like...

(whispering):
Do it again, Kev.

(laughing):
Uh-huh... yeah...

Mr. Barkeep...

a large boilermaker.

And keep 'em comin'.

Hey, did you bring in the water
heater from the back porch?

No.
Well, it's not on the porch.

Seriously.

Bunch of fucking animals.

Steve, Debbie, Liam,
we gotta go.

Fiona, you got
Casey, all right?

I'll see you at Sheila's after.

Hey, don't worry,
she's gonna do great.

She doesn't even seem sorry.

Nah, she is.
She's just a kid.

She can't tell lies.
She never could.

We're all going to jail.

Why can't I just
take Casey back now?

We can't let anybody see you,
with Casey, leaving our house.

Look, Fiona is gonna take
Casey to the rendezvous spot.

She'll give him to you and then

you'll take him back
to his house from there.

Otherwise, the plan won't work.

Fiona is gonna go to Shiela's,

to make sure she has an alibi.

I don't think I can do this.

Yeah, you're gonna
be great, Debs.

Just... don't fuck it up.

Hey, Debs...

Yeah?

Do you know why doctors,

lawyers and nurses
are great liars?

No.

Because they lie
to help people.

Like, a doctor wouldn't
tell a sick patient,

"Too bad, you're gonna die."

He would say, "We're doing
everything we can," wouldn't he?

(hesitantly):
Yeah...

So, pretend you're
being a doctor today,

and tell a doctor's
kind of lie.

Can you be a doctor for me?

Can I be a nurse?

That's my girl.

(sirens wailing in distance)

ANCHORWOMAN: In just a moment,
we will take you live

to the scene of the crime,

with our field correspondent
Charles Catino.

But first,
if you have any information

regarding the whereabouts
of Casey Casden,

please call the number
at the bottom of your screen.

Charles, are you there?

(women laughing loudly)

(laughing, screaming)

Shots on me!

You are soaking wet!

(women laughing, squealing)

(stammering)

Uh, so... fixing up
the basement.

Mm-hmm. Gonna try.

Sheetrock that corner
space for my bed.

The other half's already
paneled, so I'm good there.

Got a spot for the sink;
toilet's already in.

So, just run some cable for the
flat-screen, and I'm all set.

So...

that Sheila,
she's something, huh?

That's one way to put it.

Does your ass
ever stop hurting?

No.

Advil's your best bet.

Helps with the inflammation.

Hey, Kev.

Hey.
You see my friend?

I know she acts like she hits
on everyone, but she's doesn't.

She likes you.

Well, I'm flattered,
but I can't.

Kev, you wanna get to it?

Oh, come on, what can
one little drink hurt?

Um, uh...

Yeah... Really, no.

Look, she doesn't care
if you have a girlfriend.

Neither do I.

Can you handle two?

What, the both of you?

(clears throat)

Uh, I can't, really.

Actually, um...
I'm getting married.

What-What-What's that, now?
Married?!

No, no, no, Frank...
Frank, can I get you a shot?

Veronica?

Frank, it...

Hey, Jess!

(slurring):
Roll out the champagne!

Our boy here is getting hitched!

What?!

Kev is marrying Veronica!

Frank!
Carol! Carol!

Carol, come here!

No, no, Frank... Frank...
Carol, where are you?

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, Fr...

Carol!
No, no, no, no, no! Frank!

Kev's making an honest woman
out of your daughter!

You what?!
Yeah!

CAROL: Oh, my God!
(laughing)

And to think I was
over there, drinking,

worried about that missing boy.

Who gives a shit about that now?
Hey!

My daughter's getting married!
Kev's getting married to Veronica!

(all whooping, yelling)

And I got the oldest
bottle of Asti Spumanti!

Oh!

You have made me... the
happiest woman in the world.

I'm gonna go call Veronica.

Wait, wait! No.

She'll want to call you.

You don't want
to ruin the surprise.

Okay, everybody,

drinks on the house!

(cheering, whistling, whooping)

Here you go...
one for the mama!

There you go!

All right, one for the big daddy...
Now for the mama.

There we go!

Yeah!

(slurping loudly)

(straw squeaking)

Fiona Gallagher?!

Yeah. Yeah, what about her?

Nothing.

Good.

(straw squeaks)

(slurps)

(straw squeaks)

You really wanna
hook up with her?

A lot of kids over there, man.

You're kidding, right?

Your marriage only
lasted six weeks.

Seven.

And she wound up
with the house.

My car's paid off!

You giving me advice
is ridiculous.

(slurping)

(sucking silently)

(TV newscast playing
indistinctly)

Fiona...

What a pleasant surprise.

So they haven't found him yet?

(sighs heavily)

I can't stop thinking about

what his parents
must be going through.

I know.

(sighs sadly)

Do you want a drink?

I've got a lot of booze.

No mixers.

Cup of coffee would be great.

Why don't I make it?

Oh, don't mind me.

I accidentally took three
of my pills instead of one.

(newscast continuing
indistinctly)

Hey, wait a second...

Hiya, mister.

Hey, there.

How about giving me a big hug?

(marker squeaking)

I'm gonna blush,
and then they'll know!

I can't be a nurse.
I'm not patient.

I hate bedpans.

I can't walk in clogs.

And let's face it,
I'm too small!

Peek-a-boo!

Peek-a-boo...
Oh, my God!

Mommy!

Casey's back!

I don't believe it!

Is it him?
Mommy!

It is!

He's back.

(sobbing) My baby!

Where have you been?
We've been worried sick about you!

Where did you find him?

He was walking all by himself.

I didn't know where he lived.

Thank you.
You're an angel.

I don't, I don't...

I don't know how to thank you.

Uh, here, just, uh...

Here, take-take all...
Take it.

Take all of it.
Just take everything.

Thank you.
Thank you.

I told you we'd find him.

My Debbie found him!
A Gallagher saved the day!

You bunch of losers.

Bye!

That's Deb's.

No, I-I'm just helping her.

Hey! You're on my hand.
You're...

All right, I am your father.

Hey, Deb. Good job.

Fiona, you want to come
with us, please?

Where?

We need to take Deb
to the station.

What for?

We need to take a statement.

Well, she-she found him.

I mean, isn't that enough?

We need a statement.

You can stay with her.

Nurse Debbie can handle it.

What I'm trying to tell you is

that I have never seen
her love anybody...

I mean, anybody...

Oh no...
No...Anybody as much as she loves you.

For real?

I'm for real.

Including her daddy.

No!
Mm-hmm.

Come on.

Ooh, and honey,
she love him... Mm!

Whoo! Mm-mmm.

Oh, shit.

V!

V!

V!

V!

Can you hear me?

I need to speak
to Veronica Fisher.

What the hell?!

What are you doing?

I'm here to tell you something.

I mean, I need
to ask you something.

How did you get so drunk in
the middle of the afternoon?

Veronica Fisher, will you do me
the honor of being my wife?

Yes! Yeah!

(Kevin groans)

I love you, baby.

I love you!
(laughs)

I first saw him on Southport.

He caught my eye because my baby
brother Liam loves Superman.

After I noticed

he was alone, I took his hand.

He's a very good walker

and very well-manned
for a toddler.

I thought for sure someone
would let me use their phone.

You know, I'm just so shocked
at the lack of humanity.

Yes, I'd love a cookie.

I remember Grand Avenue
from my Aunt Ginger.

Do they require you

to wear a jacket and tie
or is that your choice?

I find it very fetching!

Big day.

Yeah.

Happy ending.

Yep.

You missed
a good pot roast last week.

My mom really
pulled out all the stops.

Yeah...

I'm sorry about that.

KAREN:
That's so great

about Debbie finding
that little Casey.

Yeah, I know.

He was lucky it was her
and not some crazy fucker.

I like your new jeans.

Oh, thanks.

They didn't cheer me up
as much as I'd hoped.

My house is so fucking weird.

I wish I'd been kidnapped.

Is it that bad?

Yeah. You should have
seen him at breakfast.

I can't imagine what dinners are
gonna be like.

And, in fact, as soon as he gets
down to the bottom,

I look back and there are
all these people behind us...

Yes.
...And I start yelling, "Go back! Go back!"

Why? (laughs)

Because he stepped
off of the thing,

and he just stopped there.

And there are all
of these people...

Oh, thank you.

You know, your house is
Frank's wet dream.

Never gonna get him out.

Wanna sneak into my backyard

and do it on the tire swing?

Lip?

Wait, I'm thinking.

REPORTER (on TV): Well, I guess sometimes
there are happy endings.

Casey Casden, the little boy
who disappeared

from his own front yard
earlier today

has been delivered home
safe and sound.

ANCHORMAN: Oh, thank you, Lisa.
That is indeed great, great...

(whispering):
Fiona!

♪ ♪

What's up?

Um, for Debbie.

Okay. Mm-hmm.

Hey, Debs, look
what Steve bought.

Oh, my God!

For me?

Absolutely.

For doing
such a great job today.

Thank you!

What you gonna name her?

(laughing)
Gin-Gin.

After Aunt Ginger.

Let's go up to my room.
We can play!

(laughing)

Oh, Gin-Gin,
you're so funny.

(Debbie giggling)

DEBBIE:
Oh, Gin-Gin...

(groans)

VERONICA:
Kevin, wake up.

It's time to get drunk again.

$690, $700,

$710, $715 exactly.

Hmm... Ah.

(keypad beeping)

(groans)

(sighs)

Thanks for buying
her that doll.

No. Not a problem.

You know what would
feel great right now?

Hmm?
A long, hot shower.

I'll wash your back.

Shit.

No hot water.

You really are beautiful.

I hope I'm not
fucking up the kids.

VERONICA:
Fiona!

Fiona, where are you?

(laughing)

Here.

Fiona!

Yeah!

Mommy!

(laughing)

What the hell?
Champagne?

I'm getting married.

Oh, my God!

(all cheering)

(music blaring)

(everyone talking, laughing)

She's great.

Yeah, man.

She's a good egg.

She deserves it.

Yeah, but does she
deserve you, you bastard?

(chuckles)

No. Nobody does.

Take the Advil now.

You want to stay
ahead of the pain.

(sighs)

(music blaring over
indistinct conversation)

(laughter,
conversation continue)

Penny for your thoughts.

Really, Grandma?

I know.

I'm a 60-year-old lady
with the vaj of a newborn.

(spluttering laugh)

(laughing)

You know I love you
guys, right, Kev?

I couldn't raise these
kids without you and V.

I know they borrow
your shit all the time.

I'm sorry.
I know it's lame.

But thanks. (kisses)

I don't know how I'd do it
without you guys.

And I just love you so much.

I'm just so happy for you both.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know that Jagermeister
really makes you chatty.

Right? You know that?

(laughing)

Look at V.

Isn't she beautiful?

Yeah... She sure is.

(beeping in distance)

What the hell is that?

Debbie?

It's our new water heater.

I got it on sale.

(all laughing)

And free delivery.

He said because I'm a hero.

You are my girl!

Oh, man.

You're gonna go to the back and
you're gonna make a sharp left.

And install it in the kitchen.

Take it in the kitchen.
Go straight down.

DEBBIE: By the way, I
call the first hot shower.

That was something, huh?

Yeah.

You know, for a guy
who just got engaged,

you don't seem very happy
to be getting married.

That's 'cause
I'm already married.

Debs, you've got
to get ready for school.

I can't go to school.

Why not?

Gin-Gin had me up half the night
with diarrhea.