Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators (2018–…): Season 4, Episode 8 - And Rarest Parts - full transcript

Your palatial residence, ma' am.

Will that be all, m ' lady?

I don't know why you
bought this motor.

Spent all that money and
nothing to "chauf-feur" it.

Oh, eh?

That classical concert should
have came with a warning.

That it contained
"sax" and "violins".

Do you get it? "Sax" and...

What' s wrong?

It's Artie.

Wait here.



Be careful.

Told you.

It's him.

He 's here.

Artie! It's your father!

It's your father!

There 's no one here.

Oh!

It says in my horoscope that
I am going to come into money.

Oh. I had my palm
read at the weekend.

You need your head read if you
believe in all that mumbo-jumbo.

Ignore him. Who by?

Madame Ides of March Street.

Oh, she 's good.
What did she say?



Well, she said that my
fate line is very strong.

And she predicted that
I'm about to undergo

some obsessive and strenuous
training for something.

Oooh!

Oh!

I predict a client' s going to
knock on our door this very second.

You're psychic.

Someone 's been polishing
his crystal ball.

I don't...

Hello.

Are you Shakespeare
and Hathaway?

I am not.

These are they.

Come in.

I'm Frank Hathaway and this is
my partner, Luella Shakespeare.

Hi.
Please take a seat.

I 'Il get some refreshments.

What seems to be
the problem, Mr?

Er, my name 's Leroy John.

We've met before, haven't we?

Did you fix my boiler?

I believe
I'm being visited

by my son, Artie.

And?
- He 's been dead for five years.

Oh.

He was a fantastic lad, Artie.

He was a trainspotter, like me.

Everybody wanted to be Artie.

Unfortunately, he died in a tragic
accident at Arden Junction station.

Do you work there?

Sorry, sorry.

And what would
you like us to do?

I want you to find
proof that it is Artie.

What makes you so
sure it's a ghost?

Well, how else would you explain
the disturbances at our house?

The alarms hasn't been triggered,
we haven't spotted anything on CCTV.

Look, we 're very sorry for your loss,
but we 're private investigators.

We don't do ghosts.

We have, we've done some in the past.

No?
- You're my only chance.

I've been to the police,
they just laughed in my face.

It's Artie, my
son, I know it is.

I've never been so
sure of anything.

We 'Il do it.
- Will we?

Yes, and if it is Artie...
- It is.

Then we will find
him. Won't we, Frank?

Hang on, hang on...

Er, we 'd need money up front.

Oh, thankfully, for
me, money' s no object.

That's it! That's
where I know you from!

You're the guy that won
the lottery, aren't you?

I read about you
in the Arden Echo.

OK, OK, here 's
what we 'Il do.

Erm, we don't usually
do this kind of case

but we 'Il do a
preliminary investigation

and if there 's something in it...
- There is.

Then we ' Il put up some
surveillance cameras.

Great. I trust you' Il be in touch.

We will.

- Oh, yes.

What
have I told you

about thinking with your
heart instead of your head?

But did you see his face?

I thought he was going to burst
into tears right there and then.

I'm not completely
heartless, you know.

It is a lost cause, though.

Morning.
- Oh.

Where are you going to?

Er, I'm Frank Hathaway.

And I'm Luella Shakespeare.
We 're private investigators.

We were hoping to just pop
up on that footbridge there

to check something out for an
investigation we 're doing.

So can we go through?
- No, you 'Il need a ticket.

But we 're not going anywhere.
- You still need a ticket.

Erm, OK, so what my partner is
trying to say, erm, Perry...

Can I call you Perry?
- Yes, you can.

Great, Perry.

Is that if you would be so
kind as to let us pop up there

we will come straight back cos we
're not actually going anywhere.

No, you 'Il need a ticket.

Well, that was worth the price
of a return ticket to Wilmcote.

Yeah.

Oh. Perry?

Oh.
- Hi, Perry.

Erm, we were just wondering

were there any suspicious
circumstances surrounding the accident?

I've only worked here
for a couple of months

but, erm, I heard it happened
whilst he was trainspotting.

How can you have an
accident trainspotting?

Er, sometimes trainspotters
trespass on the tracks

just to get better sightings.

Erm, but in this case
he was up there, just...

hanging over the side.

Who makes sure
that flame is kept alight?

That's Mr John.

He's here most days.

Good luck trying to speak to him.
- Why's that?

He's just not very popular
with the fellow trainspotters.

Especially since he 's come into some money.

Right, if there
's nothing else?

Oh...
- No?

Erm...

Press are sniffing around again.

Oh... No, we 're not press.

Then why are you
looking at that?

We 're, erm, private
investigators.

We 're just trying to find out
a bit more about what happened.

It all came out in the inquest.

It was a tragic
accident. End of.

Owen Faulconbridge.

Frank Hathaway.

Luella.
- Pleased to meet you both.

That's Eddie.

He was Artie 's best friend.

Come on, Dad.

You 'd be better off
talking to Leroy John.

Although most around here wouldn't trust
him as far as they could throw him.

Do you think there 's anything
suspicious about this accident?

No, he 's dead as disco.

As what?
Disco.

Disco
is not dead, Frank.

Wow.

What would you buy
if you won the lottery?

Oh, erm...

I 'd buy myself a health
spa, but like in Barbados.

And one where you could drink,
you know, and eat what you want.

So less of the
health, more of a spa.

I 'd buy a fridge.

Maybe a trouser press.

How do you think he
's going to take it?

I don't know.

I just hope he doesn't cry.

Ah, good. Er, come in.

May I introduce you to...

That's Kaff! It's Kaff. Hello, Kaff.
- Who 's Kaff?

You've modelled for all the greats.

Alexander McQueen,
Gucci, Katherine Hamnett.

Oh, my!

All my clients used to...

I used to be a hairdresser.

All my clients used to
ask me for "The Kaff".

Oh, that was then.

I'm plain old
Katherine Courazon now.

Er, this is Frank Hathaway
and Lu Shakespeare.

They're the private investigators
I was telling you about.

Oh, very pleased to meet you.

I suspect you're just here to
set up surveillance cameras.

Well, actually, Mr John, we've
decided against taking the case.

Yeah, sorry, we did say, though, that
we couldn't really promise anything.

We don't do ghosts.

Did he tell you it was a ghost?

It's not a ghost.

It's Artie.
- It's not.

It's someone pulling
a prank, more like.

Do you know anyone who
'd want to do that?

Well, there are lots of
jealous types around here.

It could be any one of them.

It's Artie.
- It's not.

It's stopping us from moving
on with our lives, you see.

The wedding is soon and...

Oh, you're having a wedding!

I love a wedding.

Who ' s the lucky man?

It's me.

Katherine is my fiancée.

Can you help us?

Yes, we can.

Surely, Frank. Yeah?

We can help.
- On the off chance that it's not a ghost...

It is.
- It's not.

Do you think Eddie and Owen Faulconbridge
could have something to do with this?

Oh, they're bitter and
twisted, those two.

I wouldn't trust them as
far as I could throw them.

That's funny cos that's
what they said about you.

Don 't... Mm...
- Sorry.

See? I knew you 'd recognise her.

Hmm. Her kind of
fashion is not my milieu

but she does look "fam-ilieu ".

And I know what you're thinking.

Ooh, what am I thinking,
Madame Shakespeare?

You are thinking...

what is a glamourous young
fashion model like her

doing with a trainspotter?

"Let thy love be
younger than thyself

Or thy affection
cannot hold the bent."

Hmm?
- Orsino.

Who knows?

Erm, according to all the
socials it was quite the romance.

Yeah, but why did
she choose him, hmm?

Maybe she felt sorry for him. Must
be awful losing a son just like that.

Similar to the Bard
after his son died.

Some say all Shakespeare 's plays
after that were about his son Hamnet.

Anyway, trainspotters.

Apart from petty
jealousies about money

we've got to find out what
their problem is with Leroy.

Mmm. Thing is

they know what we
look like, don't they?

Cos we've been down there already.
- Ah...

See, what we need is someone
with RADA training who might...

Who might want to go down
there, let off some "steam ".

Ooh.
Oh!

That's certainly something
to "choo-choo" over.

I'Il make a stop at Gloria's.

Come on, we've got to put
these surveillance cameras up.

Oh. Where are you travelling to?

Er, no.

Well, I'm a...

A ferroequinologist?

Er...
- A trainspotter?

Aye. That's what I am.

Yeah, you still need a ticket.

OK.

Do you want to sponsor
the UK Heart Trust run?

Or leave a donation.

It's a really good cause.

I havenae got any cash.

Oh.

Just do it next time.

I 'Il be here.

I'm always here.

Oh.

There they are.

Good luck.

Hard bunch to get in with.

Thank you.

No...

I'm not sure it's working.

No, yeah,
it is, it's on.

Just pop it on the...

That's it. Yeah.
- Up here?

Like, what, there?
Yes.

OK.

Well, they do say, don't they

you can never have too
much of a good thing.

You know, I thought I 'd seen enough
at the footbridge, but this is...

Don't you think this
is a bit spooky?

Well, we are
looking for a ghost.

Yeah.

Father-son
relationships can be complex.

Minds more eminent than mine have
written many books on the subject.

What have they said?

Dunno. Never read ' em.

Oh, hello, look at this.

I wonder what first attracted
beautiful, young fashion model Kaff

to the multi multimillionaire
trainspotter Leroy John?

Hmm.

Haven't seen you
around here before.

Ah, I'm new to the area.

Owen Faulconbridge.

I'm Scott.

My name is Scott.

Eddie Faulconbridge.

Nice glasses. What
are you into, then?

What... am I into? Er...

You're more of a kettle
head than a diesel basher?

Aye. I'm... one of those.

Ah-ha, so he knows the difference
between a pacer and a sprinter.

Even though they sound
like breeds of dog

they are in fact both trains.

Now, pacers aren't
in service anymore

and sprinters look like... that.

Now that's what I call
a beautiful model.

It's a Holman. Very rare.

Only three ever made and
I've got two.

Oh. Er, how expensive?

Oh, I could buy a whole train
for the price I paid for this.

Oh!

Listen, I think it's best if
you check into a hotel tonight.

But remember to shut
your alarms off.

Then when whoever
turns up turns up

the cameras will pick them up.

You better get your skates on
if you want to catch Artie.

He 's always been quick.

Oh, no, not this again.

Hey, do you remember
that time...

For Pete 's sake,
Leroy, he 's dead!

Excuse me.

You know when you said "train"

did you mean actual, real train?

Hey, are you alright?

Yeah. Sorry.

No, it's OK.

Artie died days after
his dad 's win.

I never really got to know him.

Leroy went from being obsessed with
trains to becoming obsessed with Artie.

As long as Leroy believes
that Artie is alive

he won't be able to move on

and I don't want there to be
three of us in this marriage.

Yeah, I understand.

I mean, that's why we 're here.

So we can help with that.

I'm sure you will.

Could you think of anyone that
might want to prank Leroy?

Maybe Owen Faulconbridge?
Could he be jealous?

No. Why would he? He
has what Leroy doesn't.

A son.

Yeah.

If you don't mind me asking,
how did you meet Leroy?

He 's not the kind I
usually go for, but...

I met him when I got the gig
to present the lottery cheque.

So when you gave the cheque
was the first time you met him?

Yep.

Wow. What, and you just clicked?

Yeah. We just got talking.

Something about him.

Cor...

I can't explain it.

He told me about trainspotting.

My dad was a basher.

Someone who likes
to ride in trains

rather than spot ' em.

OK, right.

So your dad was a basher,
Leroy and Artie are spotters.

I think I'm getting
the hang of this.

What's up yon?

Hey?

What's up there
on the footbridge?

Oh, it's uh...

supposed to be a shrine of sorts

for Artie, Leroy John ' s son.

Is that Leroy John,
the millionaire?

We trainspotted together
for years, the four of us.

Leroy, Artie, Eddie and me.

Leroy and I even bought
lottery tickets together.

And Leroy stole our winnings.

He didn't Eddie, to be fair.

We promised to give each
other half if we won.

And we 'd have given
him half if we 'd won.

His son died, Eddie.

We haven't spoken about
it since Artie 's death.

I don't care about the money.

I never have.

I'm sorry for bringing it up.

Ah. There 's no
need to be sorry.

Well, I 'Il be seeing you.

Eddie, I would stay, but
I'm training in the morning.

Night all.
- Night.

We 'Il see you around, then.
- Are you no away hame?

Sorry, what?

Er... Are you not going home?

Right, no. Staying a while.

Best trainspotting
's at night, so...

I'm not asleep.

Well, if you weren't, you were
doing a good impression of a walrus.

Why are you wearing my hat?

Cold.

Sebastian called.

Apparently, Leroy promised Owen half
of his winnings and didn't pay up.

Really?
- Mm-hmm.

But Kaff said that Owen had
nothing to do with all this.

Well, we ' Il find
out soon enough.

I hope one of them
gets here soon.

Hey, while we wait, should
we play Would You Rather?

No.
- What?

Well, you always get upset.

I don't. I
don't get upset. I just...

I only get upset when you
don't follow the rules

but if you follow the rules,
I'm not gonna get upset, am I?

So...

Shall I go first?
I 'Il go first.

You go first.

Would you rather find true love

or find £5 million?

I 'd rather find £5 million because
that will help me to find true love.

Mmm. You don't know.

Can't all be like
Leroy John, can we?

She does really
love him, you know.

Would you rather...
- Hang on. It's my go!

Would you rather teleport to the
future or teleport to the past?

Well, you have to be in the
future to teleport to the past.

No.

No, you see, it has to be
one thing or the other.

That's the rules.

Well, that's my
answer. There. My go.

Would you rather...
- No.

No, it has to be one
thing or the other.

Would you rather fall
asleep in a snowstorm?

Or...

That's it.

You're right. It is
much better at night.

Yeah.

I used to do this with
Artie most nights.

What was he like?

Artie was the one who
made trainspotting cool.

Then he left to go to
art school in Milan.

Spotting wasn't just a
numbers game with him.

He loved trains.

The look, the feel.

Wanted to capture them.

Hang on.

Amazing!

How did he get that shot?

He was a daredevil, a maverick.

Do anything to get
the perfect shot.

Once got chased by a shed master trying
to catch a glimpse of a Class 47 Diesel.

He was a legend.

He changed lives.

Including mine.

You know, in a way

you are keeping him
alive in your photos.

Yeah, well, I'm trying my best.

lt's a
long night, isn't it?

Here, have a bourbon,
cheer yourself up.

I don't need cheering up.

Come on.

I ate ' em all when you
were asleep!

Oh, look. One of
the cameras has gone down.

Go and sort it out.

I 'Il go.

Shh! Oh!

You nearly
gave me a heart attack!

I thought you were
still in the car!

Yeah, well, some of us find
it hard to follow rules.

Let's go and check the cameras.

Oh, wow.

Artie looks like he was the real Alan Bailey
of the trainspotting world, doesn't he?

David Bailey.
- Hm?

There 's nothing
conclusive on the cameras.

So, we need to work out whose
foot matches that glass slipper.

No, we need to work out whose
foot matches that footprint.

Well, it could be
anyone, couldn't it?

It could just be a thief.

"Thief robs millionaire"
would not be a surprise.

He didn't take anything.

And Leroy said some of those trains
are worth hundreds of thousands.

Well, it couldn't've been
Eddie because he was with me.

What about Owen?

He... left early.

He said he was going "training ".

Maybe training for
that charity run

that the station master has
been collecting money for.

Right, you go and find
out if Owen is our runner.

We need to get back to Arden Junction.
- Why?

Leroy wants an update.

We need to tell him
there isn't a ghost.

Refreshments are on their way.

So, anyone visit last night?

Well, look, whatever
is going on...

It's not a ghost.

And it's not Artie.

Who is it, then?

Well, we haven't worked
that bit out yet.

Yeah, so, it still
could be Artie, then?

I'm afraid
not, Mr John.

Can a ghost move
inanimate objects?

Or make a footprint?

You need to listen
to him, Leroy.

No, you're mistaken.

It's Artie, I know it is.

When he visits I can
feel his presence.

Artie is dead, Leroy.

You need to move on.

You don't understand.

I can't just " move on ".

You're not a parent.

It feels like I am with all this carry on.
- What's that supposed to mean?

It means that things are
crowded when they shouldn't be.

Sometimes I don't
understand you.

These detectives have proof that
someone has been breaking into our house

and instead of addressing that,
you believe it is your dead son!

To tell the truth I'm getting
fed up of hearing about him.

I've lost my son. What
don't you get about that?

That was five years ago!

Katherine, don't be like that!

Excuse me.

Can we have these to go, please?
Yeah.

Planning this wedding
is stressful enough.

Yeah, well, why are you
even marrying me, anyway?

Everyone says I'm punching
well above my weight.

Because I love you, stupid!

These flowers are as
beautiful as you are.

Come on.

Let's go and brighten
up that shrine.

I just hope they can work
things out, that' s all.

Just have to face facts.

Sometimes opposites
don't attract.

You're such a cynical old
boot, Frank, you really are.

I know.

Seriously, though. It's obvious
that they love each other.

Oh, you heard what Leroy said.

He knows he 's punching
above his weight.

Yeah, but
sometimes love is enough.

Yeah, and sometimes it isn 't.

How did you get on?
- The Faulconbridges are an elusive lot.

I've looked everywhere.
They're not here, are they?

It wouldn't matter if they
were. The case is closed.

Er, no, it isn 't.
- Oh, yes, it is.

Oh, no, it isn't!

Anyway, just keep on the case and
let us know if you bump into them.

Back again.
Er...

A wee donation for
your charity run.

Thank you.

You alright there?
- Mm.

I just take these to
keep me fit and healthy.

I see you've got a bit of a
healthy obsession with the trains.

Och, I wouldnae call
it an obsession.

Many before you have fallen under
the spell of the glorious beasts

that run on the parallel lines.

Did you know that the rarest
train is the William Shakespeare?

I did! Aye. It ran for
four months in 1951.

Yeah. People get obsessed
by this. I told you.

Go, off you go.

Yeah.

Something doesn't add up.

Yeah, his cheque for starters.

He's got a track record
of not paying what he owes.

So, what do we know?

Well, we know that it can't have
been Eddie. He was with Sebastian.

But it could have been Owen.

What is it you always say to me?
They must have means and motive.

Well, if his motive is to claim
Leroy's winnings, why pull a prank?

He'd just ask him for it.

Well, not everyone is as
up front as you are, Frank.

I don't know.

Maybe we should go see Madame Ides, eh?
March Street' s only round the corner.

I'm serious.

Hello?

Yeah, we 're coming. Lu.

Yeah?
- It's Sebastian.

Something 's happened
back at the station.

Oh.

That got my steps
up.

What's going on?

Katherine fell off the bridge.

I heard she leant on a
panel and it gave way.

Oh, no! Is she
going to be alright?

I think so. She was unconscious,
but she 's in the ambulance now.

Oh, thank goodness you're here.
I think Eddie wanted to kill me.

Why would Eddie
want to kill you?

Why do you
think? The money!

Just calm down and
tell us what happened.

We were on the footbridge

paying our respects like
we always do and then...

Katherine just fell.

Cos one of the
panels just gave way.

I tried to grab her, but she
was just hanging over the edge.

Eddie could have helped.

I called out to him, but he
's stood there watching.

I couldn't hold her on my own.

Excuse me, I need to check
you out in the ambulance.

Eddie wanted to kill me
just like he killed Artie!

I don't understand.

There was nothing suspicious
about Artie 's death.

Grief, like guilt, can be
expressed in many ways.

Eddie?

We just want to find out
what happened to Katherine.

Could you
tell us what you saw?

Er, I heard a shout and, er...

I saw Leroy hanging onto
Katherine over the edge.

He was screaming at
me to help, but...

I couldn't.

I just froze.

It wasn't my fault.

You were there when
Artie died, weren't you?

Look, we just want to know...

Just leave me alone.

Do you think he 's
capable of hurting someone?

I think someone in that
state is capable of anything.

Did you notice where he was just
before Kaff fell off the bridge?

Hmm. They were on the bridge
already by the time I got here.

This doesn't look
like an accident.

The bolts are missing.

With them gone, the whole
section could easily come down.

This changes everything.

We could be looking
at attempted murder.

Eddie seemed quite upset.

Do you think he did have
something to do with it?

Well, there 's something
he 's not telling us.

I do luckily
have his address.

That's not far.

I 'Il go. You stay here
in case he comes back.

Mr Faulconbridge,
can I have a word?

Well, if it's about Artie 's death,
I've already told you all I know.

Er, I don't want to talk about Artie,
I 'd like to talk about Eddie.

Right.

Well, you 'd better
come in, then.

So...

What's this all about?

I'm worried about Eddie.

Social worker as well as a
private investigator now, are you?

We ran into him at the station.

Heard Leroy blaming him
for Artie 's death.

And you believed
him.

I told you, you can't trust Leroy
as far as you can throw him.

What's happened?

It's Katherine.

She fell off the footbridge

and we think Eddie might have loosened
the bolts on one of the panels

hoping Leroy would fall next
time he visited the shrine.

But Katherine fell instead.

- Why would
Eddie want to hurt Leroy?

Owen, you're not helping
him by keeping quiet.

Eddie and Artie
were like brothers.

They went everywhere together.

See, I think deep down

Leroy was jealous of that.

And he blames Eddie
for his son 's death?

Must be more to it than that.

After Artie finished
uni, he came back home.

And by this point he was really
working on his photography.

He wanted to share
that with his dad.

But his dad 's an old fashioned
trainspotter, not into anything newfangled.

He saw Eddie as encouraging
Artie to take risks.

After the accident

he told anyone who would
listen that Eddie was there

and was somehow to blame
for Artie 's death.

It was that accusation
that ruined our friendship.

It was never about the money.

Eddie began to
believe Leroy's lies.

Started to blame himself.

Hang on.

Didn't you say that Eddie and
Artie were always together?

Yeah.

But they weren't
together when he died.

But that's not right.

Eddie told us he was there.

Where is he now?

He 's upstairs.

Eddie.

Oh...

Where do you
think he 's gone?

I don't know.

But in his state, there 's
no telling what he could do.

Hello.
- Frank, you need to get here, now.

Eddie's up on the footbridge
and he just won't come down.

Come on.

Don't do it!

Eddie, you come down here!
It isnae worth it!

Please! Please don't jump!

What are you talking about?

All I wanted was for there to
be a fitting tribute to Artie.

So you're not going to jump?
Of course not.

You sure you're
private investigators?

Oh.

What are you doing here?

I just wanted to let everybody
know, Katherine is going to be OK.

Oh, good for you.

What's going on here?

Ah, now, that's what I
call a beautiful model.

Oh, do you remember when the driver
let us stand on the footplate?

Oh, yes, I do.

The Flying Swan on
a Steam Special.

lt's the last
photograph he ever took.

So you undid the bolts so you
could attach that to the bridge?

Katherine shouldn't have been
there. I hadn't finished.

You weren't to know
she 'd be there.

We all understand,
it was an accident.

Artie 's death was
an accident as well.

I was there when he died.

I told you. I was right.

Artie loved you.

He 'd do anything
to please you.

But you're a hard man to please.

That night, I was there to help.

I was the one who told him to climb
over and get the perfect shot.

If I hadn't pushed him to take that
last shot, he 'd still be alive.

It wasn't your fault, Eddie.

You were a good friend.

I should have been a better dad.

Yeah.

You should have!

You only were after he died.

But even then, not enough to spend
your winnings on a decent tribute.

Artie meant more to
me than all the money.

I 'd give the lot away
just to bring him back.

For both of us.

Well, thanks again.

And, erm...

this is for you.
- Oh, thank you muchly.

I'Il take that.

We're really glad that Kaff...

Katherine is going to
make a full recovery.

Oh, it's only a wedding
invitation. No offence.

Only! To the wedding
of the year! Thank you.

Excuse us, we've got
money to discuss.

Oh, no. I told you

I don't want your money.

You aren't doing the charity
race this year, then?

Ooh. Not this year,
no.

Ahh. Did you hear that?

Yeah, he 'd better have
sent the cheque to Sebastian.

Why? We didn't solve the case.

Yeah, it's Sebastian
's fault, isn't it?

He was supposed to
talk to the suspects.

Maybe he got sidetracked.

Tracks...

It rained last night, didn't it?
- Yeah.

Then now is the perfect
time to look for footprints.

Come on.

Frank, look at that.

No, that's a couple
of sizes too small.

And it's a different pattern.

What about that one?

Get the photo out.
Let's have a look.

Zoom in.

What do you think?

lt' s similar, but...

Yeah, let's follow it.

Here, Frank. That's the same.

Yep.

There.

Frank.

Another one.

Perry.

You've got some explaining to do.
- What?

It's you, isn't it?

Er... Look, I don't
want any trouble.

It was you I chased
that night, wasn't it?

If we looked at those boots, do you
think they' d match the footprints

I found at Angers House?

Am I under arrest?

No, we 're not the police.

And it wouldn't
matter if we were.

Leroy's dropped the
trespassing charges.

So what are you going to do?

I think it's about time you came
clean to Leroy John, don't you?

My name is Perry Smee.

You might know me as the platform assistant
at Arden Junction railway station.

"Where are you going to?"
- Yeah.

- Erm...

I was diagnosed
with cardiomegaly.

What's that when it's at home?

My heart...

was too big for my body

and the heart walls
became very thin.

Ah, do you want sponsorship?
Is that what all this is about?

Please, just hear him out.

Erm...

So before that, I was a burglar.

I was good at it.

There wasn't a single
drainpipe I couldn't shimmy up

or a window I couldn't pry open.

I wanted to get to
know more about Artie.

How he lived, how he died.

It was you!

I needed someone
with a good heart...

That was your son.

Receiving Artie 's heart
gave me a second chance.

So... Artie...

I didn't mean to break in, I
didn't mean to cause any problems.

Why didn't you just ask
us instead of breaking in?

I thought you wouldn't
take me seriously.

So Artie is part of you.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Oh, my goodness!

This place in which
you have now met

has been duly sanctioned according to
law for the celebration of marriages

and we are here today to witness the
joining in matrimony of this couple

and to share in
their happiness...

What am I?

You're a private investigator,
Frank. If you don't know that now...

No.

then he or she must
declare it now.

I'm a trainspotter.
- Oh!

Oh, sorry.
- Sorry.

Sorry.

Artie was able to come
to the wedding after all.

Leroy John and
Katherine Courazon

your vows are your
promises to each other.

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

I must say, it was
a lovely ceremony.

Francis Hathaway!

I mean, we know I love a wedding

Ooh!
- Sebastian definitely does

but you, you big softie!

Where is Sebastian?

Hello.
- Oh, hey.

Are you coming to the reception?

Yes, but in a bit.

I've just been told that the
actual William Shakespeare

is expected at any minute.

The actual William Shakespeare?

Didn't he die 400 years ago?

Not the play-writing
genius, the train!

Don't you know anything?

I do know one thing, that
Madame Ides was right.

Who 'd have thought Sebastian
would be into trains?

Who would have
thought you would.

What?

I saw you playing with
Leroy's train set.

Oh, hello.
Well, I wasn't playing.

I was... conducting
an investigation.

Come on.