Sexify (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Episode #1.6 - full transcript

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

[relaxing music playing]

[Joanna] Oh.

[cymbal chimes]

Wait, what's wrong?

[Joanna] I haven't seen this for a while.

Seen what?

Such a big blockage of Vishuddha.

Where?

[Joanna] In your throat chakra.

The energy in your body
doesn't flow as it should.



We'll unblock it in a second.

Will you help me?

How?

Start repeating a simple word
over and over.

I don't know a word.

Oh, "know." That one's a good word.

Know?

Hmmm, say it.

[inhales]

Know.

Longer.

[inhales]

Know.

Louder.



Knooow.

[phone beeps]

Excuse me for a moment.

I'm sorry, I have to go now.

[beat playing]

There are less buses today
because it's a holiday.

[inhales]

- Thank you for having me today, ma'am.
- Not ma'am. Joanna.

Unity hug.

♪ Today is the day of the Resurrection ♪

♪ We are filled with hope and joy ♪

LOVE

♪ Let us thank you Lord along ♪

- Thank you.
- [woman] Have a good day.

REMEMBER, EASTER BRUNCH TODAY, 1 PM

♪ There's an amazing night ahead of us ♪

♪ Believe in the power
Of the Resurrection ♪

HOLIDAYS IN POLAND
EASTER SUNDAY

♪ The Heavens are filled
With songs of glory ♪

♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪

[chatter]

Hey.

- [Mariusz] More or less right here.
- [man] Hi there!

- [Paulina] Hi.
- Hello, honey!

- Just a sec.
- I'll be right there, Mama.

[woman] Where does Mariusz keep his bowls?
I can't find any.

[woman 2] How would she know?
She doesn't live here.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

[Paulina] Hey, Mama.

Sorry, it's hard to get here
from the dorm during the holiday.

You could've taken a taxi
for a special occasion.

[woman] Paweł sit at the table.
Here you go.

It's a small apartment.
They should look for a bigger one.

Now? With these prices… I don't know.

- If they have kids...
- [woman] Not if. When they have kids!

Oh yeah, a baby will pop up
the minute they move in together.

- [laughs] It's true!
- [woman] Come on, Zygmunt!

Would the man of the house
like to say the prayer?

All right. In the name of the Father,
the Son, the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Finish it, sir. Spare me the shame!

[dramatic music playing]

How are you doing, dear?

- All right.
- I was asking Natalia, Mom.

I'm great.

- [mother] Still the same dean?
- [Natalia] The same.

How's the project?

♪ To… to… to the Copulation Station ♪

Good, but do we have to talk about school?

I don't know. What should we talk about?

[sighs] I don't know, Mother.

For example, how you're doing.

[funky beat playing]

You know.

I don't, actually.

- I'll do the dishes.
- No, I'll do it.

No, no no. I haven't finished eating.
This is…

[typing]

[phone chimes]

[Monika] Seriously?

[man] What are you doing here?

Working.

- [man] Not today.
- Why not?

- [man] Because today's Easter.
- I need the money though, so…

Stay if you want. But I'm not paying you
'cause no one's here.

[typing]

- I don't celebrate dumb holidays.
- But I do, Lilith.

Hey.

- Mm!
- [phone buzzes]

You got a message.

Uh, just mute it. Put it away.

I'm not using the phone today.

Hey, wait!
We're supposed to say something first.

HAPPY EASTER

♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪

[holy music fades into gentle music]

MY PLAN OF ACTION

Could you fix my computer?

What's wrong with it?

Uh, it's really slow. I don't know why.

"How would one conquer
Medieval Eastern Europe."

Seriously?

What else should I do?

You're not here now.

I'm stuck at home
with Grandma all the time. I'm bored.

Well, I just didn't know
you were even interested in things like

tournaments and archery.

You know what? Many things interest me.

For example,
what you're working on at school.

- [Natalia sighs]
- Hmm?

- Is it done?
- Yes.

You're free to conquer Europe, just don't
share your credit card details anymore.

[mother] Okay. [sighs]

No news?

[blaring music]

It's something really big, Mother.

Tell me more about it.

[beat rising]

[moaning loudly]

You won't understand, Mother.

- [children laughing]
- [plates clinking]

[man] Would anyone like
some Polish white wine?

- Absolutely.
- You stop drinking. You're barely upright.

All right, come on. Rafał gets one too.

- Rafał?
- No, no. Thank you.

[man] Drink, or they might think
you're the mailman's son.

Oh, are you sure he's not?

[woman] Son, eat up while it's hot.
It's good.

Anyway, cheers!

- [all] Cheers!
- Cheers, yes.

[children laughing]

Huh, I thought university
was a time for drinking

but it looks like
he's never tried it before.

- So, what are you doing at uni now?
- Um…

Apps, sir. Programming computers.

- What alpacas?
- Apps, Dad. Come on.

Applications. I'm making a gel now.
I'm the top of my class.

- Oh!
- [woman] That's my boy.

A gel for your hair that will…

that will change color through Bluetooth.

Stupid idea. Nonsense is what it is.

It's not stupid, Dad.

[man] It's for kids, Seba.
You don't get it. [laughs]

[funky beat playing]

- [computer chimes]
- [holy music playing]

♪ Hallelujah ♪

NO DATA

SHALL WE START?
YES

[gentle music playing]

WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

DO YOU LIKE YOUR BODY?

I DON'T KNOW

[sighs]

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO PLEASURE YOURSELF?
NO

GIVE YOURSELF MORE TIME
EXPLORE YOUR BODY AND TRY AGAIN

[music crashes dramatically]

- [funky beat playing]
- [typing]

Get ready, Nati.
We're going to church soon.

I just need to shower.

TEST THE APP BECAUSE IT BEAT ME.

[mysterious music playing]

[music intensifies]

[computer beeping]

ORAL SEX
ANAL SEX

BODY
THE G-SPOT

- [alert beeping]
- [moaning]

Thank you, my darling.

Only you can make days
like this wonderful.

[gong ringing]

- Hey.
- [Joanna] Hey.

Come on, dear.

I'm grateful for being together today.

For being able to absorb
the rebirth energy

that flows from the universe.

The energy…

that makes us kind to each other

and which fills us with mutual respect.

Together, in a loving family atmosphere,
we will eat this delicious brunch,

without any fighting.

Amen.

[sighs]

I just thought
you'd become like Bill Gates!

- [woman] Let's let it go.
- [Seba] You're making gel?

- Gel's in a woman's panties!
- [laughter]

Yeah, yeah. Working on that kind of gel
I'd understand.

You should do something…

related to shagging.

Something the birds and the bees.
Wham, wham, wham.

- That'll be a hit, I know.
- [laughter]

[funky beat playing]

Not some gel.

Shut up, Seba. Come back, son.

- You made him upset.
- There's nothing to drink. Pour something.

[beat intensifies]

TO: THE DEAN, SUBJECT: NOTIFICATION!
PROSTITUTION RING IN ROOM 69

SEND

[computer beeps]

[laughter]

[gentle music playing]

[sighs]

[music warps, cuts out]

- What is this, Natalia?
- My app, Mom.

Orgasm?

Clitoris? The G-spot?
That's what you've been doing?

Yeah, that's what I'm doing.

You were supposed to stay away from boys
or you won't achieve anything!

I told you many times.
Don't repeat my mistakes.

I am not, Mom.

You're making a sex app!

I don't care what it's about, Mother.

I want to be the best.

And if people want sex,
I'll give it to them.

Over 80 percent of everything
on the internet is porn now.

The biggest stars of Instagram
are those who show off their naked bodies.

If you're a woman,
success isn't just being smart.

You also have to be attractive, too.

Look at me, Mother.

My brain is all that I have.

And I'll use it to beat everyone,
whether you like it or not.

That's why I'm developing an app
about female orgasm.

I will not come back here.

[Grandma] Are we going?
The mass is about to begin.

[quick beat playing]

Relax. Don't worry.

I reserved our seats already
in the choir balcony.

[door slams]

What now? Let's eat shiitake.

- Sveta, you can start serving.
- [Marek] We were gossiping about you.

Yeah?

That you're currently
on a better path in your life.

Okay.

Let's drink to that then.

- [Konrad] Hello there.
- Oh.

Happy Easter.

♪ Hallelujah ♪

[Konrad] My mom wishes you all the best.

- I'd like to wish you all the best.
- Thank you. Same to you.

- Glad you're here. Some shiitake?
- Absolutely! Absolutely.

Sveta, put it in the fridge, please.
Thank you.

Hey.

Ooh-la-la.

Glad you're here, Konrad.

Because he and I have an announcement.

Are you dating?

[Joanna laughs]

I've always felt you two liked each other.

Since we are already talking
about the matter,

there's always been a place for Konrad
in my heart.

I knew it.

And since I can't count on you anymore…

[Joanna] Stop it.

Konrad will manage the new division
of our company.

I know that.

- We wanted to tell you...
- Stop talking.

- What do you think I was supposed to do?
- Not now, Marek.

I don't know.

Maybe not make him the new manager
of the company's new division?

And what?

And give you more responsibility,

even though you're botching up
your entire life?

She's failing her studies.
She's ruining everything in her life.

Everything!

You're right. That'd be stupid.

Hold your fire!

Excuse me?

That would be stupid.

[melancholy music playing]

Because I can't do it.

I wouldn't give myself
a serious job either.

You're still constructing yourself.

No, Mother.

I'm still giving up.

Thank you.

[woman] I have no time, really.

[woman] Of course, as the bride's parents,
we'll cover most of the expenses.

- As long as they're not too outrageous.
- We'll work something out.

We want it to be like our present.

- Mutual? Okay?
- [woman 2] Exactly. From us to you.

- Then it's a deal? Sound good?
- It's a deal. Yeah.

- They have to get married in our parish.
- The wedding hall has to be near Wyszków.

We don't want our friends from Warsaw
to have to travel too far.

They'd have to drive 80 kilometers
after the mass? It makes no sense.

- What do you propose they do?
- We'll have to find a wedding hall closer.

- Or maybe move the ceremony closer?
- Exactly.

[woman 1] There's a small,
beautiful wooden church there.

I was on a trip for work there.
I saw the church there.

- [woman 2] Our church is pretty, too.
- It looks like a...

- [woman 2] Like a barn.
- [man] A barn? [laughs]

[Zygmunt] I have to agree with you.
Our parish priest is great,

but he's as good an architect
as a pig in a horse race! You know?

[woman 2] But Jola, wait!
It hasn't got the mood.

[woman 1] What do they need the mood for?
They've got love and that's enough.

The bride has to leave her parents' home.

All right, all right.
But who's the maid of honor?

Pola, right?

- It's Natalia. I've already asked Natalia.
- Who now?

You mean Winnie the Pooh! [laughs]

Okay. Hold on, hold on.
But she's your sister.

She should have fun, too.
You have to think about things like that.

I already did, Mom!

The maid of honor is Natalia
because that's what I want.

I want a small wedding. It will be outside
with only family there and close friends.

And then we'll go to a nice restaurant
with nice music.

- [woman 1] You must be kidding me.
- I'm not.

It's my wedding and I decide.
And that's final.

[pounding beat playing]

[beat slows]

HEY, ARE YOU ALIVE?

Adam, your girlfriend texted you!

[Adam] What? I don't have a girlfriend.

Jeez, why are you always so tense, though?

HEY!

THERE'S A PARTY IN THE EVENING
AT THE HEAVEN CLUB. COME BY!

THE SINGLES FROM ALL
OVER THE TOWN WILL BE THERE

[mysterious music playing]

[Lilith] Does this film ever end?

We're already three hours in.

Two hours and 15 minutes left.

So relax, big sister.

I'm very relaxed.

[beat building]

- [Jola] Drive safe!
- [Zygmunt] You too, you too.

[Jola] We'll work the details out.
[laughs]

- [man 1] Good to see you.
- [man 2] Yeah, you as well.

I need a walk.

Want me to come?

I need time alone.
To think about what I should do.

The wedding?

No.

What to do with them.

Hey.

- Happy Easter.
- You too.

I sent you the app's beta version
so you can test if it's working.

- Why can't you do it?
- I texted you. I don't know how.

I have no experience.

- Go get it then.
- Please just do it.

I've sent you the files.

You can install the app on your phone

and when you have the opportunity,
check it out.

Okay.

I mean, do it fairly quickly,
whenever you, uh…

- Huh?
- You know what.

Speak up.

Whenever you have sex.

Still sounds funny when you say it.

So?

I think it's pretty funny hearing
the word "sex" coming from your mouth.

I get it. Will you do it sometime soon?

No.

What?

I'll do it when I feel like it.

Normally, you screw all the time,
and when, when we really need it,

now you don't feel like it?

Yeah.

But we need it as soon as possible.

[funky beat playing]

Then go for it.

[door slams]

- [Paulina] Hi.
- Hey.

What happened?

I'm done. This thing's way too much now.

I'm going to a party.

[techno pounding]

♪ Oh fuck ♪

- Where's Adam?
- [Lilith] He's here somewhere.

But we're not looking for him sober.
We might get lost here.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we are about to start the ball.

Please clear the runway. Move.

I don't feel good that we're leaving
Paulinka all by herself. Poor thing.

It's Easter.

It's unfortunate she has such in-laws.

We weren't all that great either.

Call her. Talk to her.

No.

Then don't.

Let's go see her.

What?

- At her dorm, I mean.
- Uh…

She needs us at this time.

[gasps]

Another round, please.

Oh, hey!

Hey. What's up?

- What are you doing here?
- What?

I mean that it's nice to see you.

Yeah, you too.

Fun party.

Hey, little brother. Cheers to health.
Come join us! Come on!

Wanna leave?

Yeah.

Hey, ladies!

[knocking]

[knocking continues]

We're closed for the day!

[woman] What do you mean, closed today?

[knocking]

Go fuck somewhere else today.

Sixty-nine is closed for Easter.
It's a public holiday…

Good evening.

We're here for Paulinka.

[shutter clicks]

[slow drums playing]

Drink up.

What is that?

The fun stuff. Want some?

[gasps] What's it supposed to do?

Makes things better.

And it's safe, right?

Uh, do you want to have fun
or conduct a survey?

[eerie music playing]

Hallelujah.

[beat rising]

[phone line calling]

Well, the girls aren't answering.
Maybe they'll call back.

Why don't you try checking Paulina's flat?

Excuse me?

Yeah, the flat where she lives.

So, she doesn't live here?

[Monika] Uh…

I'll just keep calling 'til I get them.

I didn't know you liked these places.

Um, we don't know much about each other.

True fact.

So, anyway, what are you doing here?

- Well, you were the one who invited me.
- What? No, I…

- Jabba?
- [Jabba laughs] Natka?

I didn't know you hang out
in these places.

No, I didn't either.

Let me introduce them.

- He's Prince Kirill.
- [Kirill] Hello there.

- Devil, Arek, Czarek, Mirek and Darek.
- [man] Hi!

And meet my boyfriend, Dawidek.
This is Natalia.

- And what is your boyfriend's name?
- Uh, oh…

[man] Come on, let's go! Hurry though!
It's a great song.

- You coming?
- [man 2] Hey, come on!

We'll be right over.

- Bye then.
- See ya!

We won't. Don't worry. [chuckles]

- I'd rather take a walk. You wanna go?
- Oh, okay.

- Let me just text Paulina.
- Mm-hmm.

PAULINA'S FOLKS IN 69!
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?

[announcer] Give it up
for our sexy judges!

Look at that cat. Meow!
Yes, I like your style!

Okay, you check the bar.
I'll check the bathroom.

Okay.

[beat playing]

Paulina?

[shouting]

Fuck!

She's not at the bar.

Not in the bathroom.
So, where in the hell is she?

♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah ♪

Wow.

[announcer] Look at that sexy Mary, wow!

[Adam] She's good.

- [Natalia] Paulina, we have to go back.
- Oh!

We have to go back to the dorm right now!
Your parents are looking for you.

- What?
- [Natalia] Yeah.

- [Adam] Oh, who drugged you?
- Oh!

Thank you for helping.

I don't know how I'll explain this
to her parents.

They'll understand.

What a weird date.

Who said that it was a date?

I'm sorry. I, uh… [groans]

I was just kidding.

[romantic music playing]

- This date's really awesome.
- Uh…[laughs]

Unconventional, though.

You are unconventional as well, though.

Is that good or bad?

[chuckles] That depends.

Do you like it?

Yeah, I do.

[Paulina gasps]

- Paulina?
- Are you okay?

[Paulina inhales]

- Paulina?
- Is everything okay?

♪ An orgy of lights, I give you my word ♪

[woman] Zygmunt.

Why don't you take the kids
for a burger or something?

- I'm not hungry, Mama.
- I'm always hungry. Always.

I wanna go home.

What do you say we do?

Show them around the dorm.

Let them see where
they'll be living when they go to school.

Okay, I'll show you around the dorm.

Where you'll be living
when you go to school.

[Zygmunt] Go, go!

- Where's Paulina?
- Inside.

- [Adam] Wait a second.
- Whoa.

- Yeah, she needs a little help.
- A little.

Out.

[all gasp]

It's okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Are you coming up?

[phone ringing]

- It says your "Honey" is calling.
- Uh, so text him:

"With my parents. We're at the dorm.
They paid me a visit."

Move! Out of order!

You can also write:
"I'm staying for the night, because

Natalia's down after coming back
from home, and I need to stay with her."

[phone buzzes]

[sighs]

Look here, you can put an ad on the board
when you start living here.

[funky beat playing]

- Good evening!
- [Zygmunt] Are you okay, honey?

I'm not feeling well, Daddy.

Good evening, Mama.

Pawełek, let's go now.

I'll see you, Mama.

- Zygmunt.
- Hey.

Oh! Give her water in the morning.
And soda.

- Okay.
- [woman] Zygmunt.

- [snoring]
- [laughter]

[snores]

[snoring]

I'm sorry.

What for?

For this mess.

And for the puke in the car.

We'll figure it out.

Don't be sorry.

Told you already that I like things
that are unconventional.

- [snoring]
- [both chuckling]

Well, good night.

[Adam sighs]

♪ An orgy of lights… ♪

I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry.

Ever.

[romantic music playing]

Adam, would you like to…

[funky beat rising]

Would you want…

Do you think we could have sex?

Excuse me?

I finished my app's prototype,
I have to check if it's working at all.

NO DATA

"Have to"?

I should, yeah.

I want to. With you.

[Natalia sighs]

Oh, shit. I... I think that came out wrong.

I'm sorry. Um, I shouldn't say that.

So… maybe we could try, though?

[snoring]

You know…

I should probably go.

[door opens]

[door closes]

[closing theme music playing]