Sexify (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

[soulful music playing]

[music slows down, stops]

[banging]

[sighs]

[funky beat playing]

[funky music continues]

Hey.

Hi.

- Want one?
- I don't drink alcohol.

Okay.



I'm working on this app
that's supposed to...

You're cool, you know?

Want to take a walk?

No, thank you, though.

I've done 15,000 steps today.

Okay. Uh, first off, wow.

Uh, secondly, do you dance?

I really don't do those kinds of things.

Can't figure you out.

- I'm sorry, I have to go...
- No, it's fine. No, no.

I'm the one who's sorry.

- Let's start over.
- I have to sleep.

Can I go with you?

What?



[sighs] I'm not really that good
at picking up girls.

[pounding intro theme playing]

[electronic beeping]

Experiment code name: "The Old Bear."

Day…

seventy-two.

Temperature: 24 degrees Celsius.

Pressure: 1003 hectopascal.

Humidity:

52.3 percent.

Time: 11:45 p.m.

Heart rate and pulse:

Stable.

The current research conditions…

[exhales deeply]

Workable.

[gentle music playing quietly]

IS DISAPPOINTED WITH YOUR
LINUX NETWORK ADMIN EXAM RESULTS

And start.

- [muffled moaning]
- [thumping]

[exhales deeply]

[thumping, moaning speed up]

Experiment was interrupted due to…

- [woman screaming]
- [moaning quiets]

Being forced to live in a dorm.

[funky music playing]

Stop looking like a victim because
that's how you actually become one.

Need I remind you all the time?

You have a solid project.
You're the best out there.

You are motivated. You are strong.

Natalia.

You must be persistent
and believe in yourself.

- You must believe that a human being...
- [toilet flushes]

I know reading's not easy,
but surely you can recognize basic shapes.

On this door there's a circle.

[door slams]

Welcome to your final semester.

You are the small, but persistent group
that managed to survive…

at my university.

[whooping]

[Dean] Thank you.

What can I say?

Our academic journey
is coming to an end.

I mean your journey, not mine.
I work here. [chuckles]

[cough echoes]

Yeah, well then. Enough shenanigans.

Now I would like to introduce you
to your new professor,

who will guide you
through your graduation projects.

Because at the end of the academic year,

one of your projects
will be submitted to a national…

- ministerial…
- [sighs]

MINISTERIAL
NATIONAL

[laughter]

- … competition…
- [laughter]

for student-made startups,

I figured that this year, we could use
a young and energetic supervising figure.

Welcome Dr. Krynicki.

[lukewarm applause]

Thank you for your enthusiasm. [scoffs]

So.

I'll leave you now. All right.

Get 'em. [clears throat]

All right. This profession can lead you
down various paths.

Some of you will probably become teachers.

A large group of you will archive data,
like goblins from Lord of the Rings.

Um, just five percent of you
will earn good money.

Only a sliver of you will come up
with something truly meaningful.

Something that, I don't know,
will be named after you.

Something that will change
the human condition for the better. Hm?

[laughs] Who will it be?

Well, who?

Yeah, it was a rhetorical question.

[laughter]

Well, so confidence is a good thing
in this profession.

- Natalia, is that right?
- Mm-hm.

- What's your project?
- My project got the highest grade...

Could you show us, if it's that good?

- Unless it's top secret.
- No.

All right.

- [suspenseful music playing]
- [scattered applause]

[man] Let's go!

Sleep.

Sleep is a functional state
of the central nervous system.

Typically, It comes and goes cyclically
with the circadian rhythm,

making the body unconscious
and motionless.

Usually, every day, adults need around
six to eight hours of continuous sleep

to efficiently function.

But do they really?

Would shorter but better sleep,

a higher quality sleep,

regenerate our bodies better
than ten hours of agonizing lethargy?

[dreamy music overpowering]

This is what I do.

I want to optimize sleep.

If you take a look at the, uh, [stutters]

a look at the readings of the sensors…

[clattering]

- Thank you, that was very educational.
- [music stops]

Bravo.

[applause]

Thank you. Okay. What else do we have?

- Hmm?
- Rafał Paluch.

I'm working on an ionized hair gel
that can change colors via Bluetooth.

[cough echoes]

You've got my full attention.

Come here.

[man] Hair gel!

[tense music playing]

[door creaks open]

Um, excuse me, could I have a moment?

Of course.

[sighs] I don't know where to start.

I have the highest GPA,

and my graduation project
got the highest marks…

[sighs] If you would just be so kind
as to read the materials…

I did. I've read the documentation
of every student.

- Oh.
- And I do think

that your project is the best.

Mm, technically.

What's wrong with it then?

- It's not sexy.
- What?

[chuckles] You should no better than I do.

You were born in a world where kids
use smartphones before they talk.

Everything must be sexy.

Benches.

Radiators, scientific theorems.

And sleep's not sexy?

Sleep is, but shortening it,
optimizing it, it's not sexy.

Why make it shorter? Sleeping is great.

Professor, I've been working on it
for three years now.

Everyone else got a corporate job
and is making money,

while I've only been focusing on this app.

It's all I have left.

Well, you have the experience you gained
and lots of equipment.

- This project is… it's my whole life.
- [Dr. Krynicki sighs]

Without it, I'm nothing.

Me too.

I have to choose one project out of many.

The dean said
it has to win the contest.

If not, I'll be fired. That's my truth.

So I have to pick something
with a chance of wining.

Is it SLEEP? [sighs]

Don't think so. Do you?

- You prefer gel?
- No!

I would prefer something that satisfies
the real needs of your peers.

Because they're the target market.

Sleep is the last thing they need now.

Absolutely no one gets excited by sleep.

I need something that turns everyone on.
Hm?

What should I do then?

I don't know.

You don't have time
to come up with something new.

So join some other team.
You're a great programmer.

They'll snatch you up. Hm?

See you.

"Something that turns everyone on."

[melancholy music playing]

SLEEP, TASKS, OVERDUE, IN PROGRESS

[sniffling]

[sighs, sniffs]

[tense music rising]

[phone vibrating]

[vibration continues]

[sighs heavily]

What if it was important?

I have something more important
right here.

[quick tempo music playing]

- Want to?
- I always do.

[man sighing heavily]

Wait a sec.

I'm sorry, I forgot. Sorry. [laughs]

Okay.

[breathes heavily]

Maybe we can change positions?

You don't like it this way?

I do.

I really like it, honey.

[breathing heavily]

- [bed creaks]
- [groans]

[sighs]

You're special, you know that?

Do you think?

Yeah.

[exhales]

- [phone vibrating]
- [door opens, closes]

What is it?

- [Natalia] Where are you?
- At home.

- What are you doing?
- Nothing.

Can we meet?
I'm really screwed with this project.

Okay.

- Nanogel. What the hell is that?
- Don't know.

I wasn't asking.

- You just said "What the hell is that?"
- It was a rhetorical question.

Picture.

[phone clicks]

No way he will fuck me over.

- Who?
- Rafał.

- Why? Are you screwing each other?
- What?

- He's not bad looking, not my type but...
- It's not what I mean.

What I'm saying is I'm not going
to be fucked in this competition,

I don't know how else to say it.

I've been slaving over this, and suddenly,
the damn professor doesn't like SLEEP.

"Something sexy that turns everybody on.
Something that everyone needs."

Easy for him to say.

Everyone has to eat, for example.

- Are you talking to me or texting Mariusz?
- Yes.

These both look good.

- Mm, no can do.
- Why not?

Mariusz likes me in dresses.

Do you wear clothes
for yourself or for him?

It's his parents' anniversary,
so in this case, it is for him.

That's stupid.

You've never been in a relationship.

Sometimes you need compromise
in order to have success.

[Natalia] Hmm.

[sultry music playing]

[woman moaning]

From behind.

[moaning continues]

What the fuck?

Why are you here?

How about "Good morning,"
or "Nice to see you, Daddy?"

How did you get in?

My key.

You could've called.

I did call, like, 50 times.

You don't pick up.

[liquid pouring]

So, what's up?

I got a call from the dean this morning.

He told me you haven't gone
to class in six months.

It's covered.

- [grunts]
- [glass shatters]

[tense music building]

I'm sorry.

Leave before I kill you.

- [door closes]
- I just want to know one thing.

What happened? I gave you everything,
but you're hell-bent on fucking it up.

- [liquid pouring]
- Marek, I'm working on it.

I'm finding my way.

[scoffs]

Using my money.

I have decided
to strongly incentivize you to work.

That's why I'm cutting you off.

Until you get a diploma.

Mm!

You have ten minutes
to pack your stuff.

What?

- [Marek sighs]
- [woman] What?

I registered you for a room in a dorm.

Apparently, this 3.5 million dollar
apartment is a distraction.

[melancholic music playing]

Grześ will drive you.

[door opens]

[door closes]

[quick tempo beat playing]

I'm told I live here now.

- Name?
- Monika Nowicka.

My instructions from the dean
were to have room 70 vacated today.

Super.

Hey! Hey! Hey! You live here?

Yeah, so? You the janitor?

- [girl laughs] No chance!
- What's wrong?

[thudding]

It's all yours.

Watch the neighbor, she's real weird.

She hates any noise. And causes trouble.

Thank you. I'll manage fine.

[sighs]

It worked for a while,
then there was this burning smell,

now it's not working.

And this?

Whats that?

I use tape to keep the dust
from getting inside.

It's expensive equipment, all in all.

Next time when your computer starts
puffing smoke, you have two options.

Either rinse with water…

or put it into ice.

Actually, you should just keep it
in a plastic bag and never touch it.

That way,
it will be as clean as brand new.

What are you saying? What advice is that?

What was that for?

I'm sorry.

- What's going on?
- My app won't make it.

They're only backing one project,
and mine apparently isn't sexy.

What will you do now?

No clue.

- You'll code something better.
- How?

I have three months left.

Besides I need to work.
I need to pay rent.

You're giving up?

What can I do?

It's all over, he rejected me.

It wasn't you.

It was the project.

[folk music playing]

- You look beautiful.
- Oh, stop moving!

[shutter clicks]

And now everyone knows where we are.

[phone pings]

It's not like we're ashamed
of taking a bus, right?

No.

Exactly.

Transportation. Everyone needs that.

What?

For Natalia's app she's making.

She needs to make something
for all the people.

I don't know what it is people need but,

I'm sure they don't need any more apps.

Huh?

Telephones destroy relationships.

Huh?

[soulful music playing]

[phone chimes]

I'VE HEARD YOU MOVED.
LET'S TALK, I'LL FIX IT.

[laughter]

[woman] Roll it up, don't fold it.

Excuse me, janitor.

What's wrong?

My light bulb needs screwing in.

[uptempo beat thumping]

- [moaning]
- [thumping]

[moaning continues]

[door slams]

[moaning continues]

Listen! That's enough!

- Who's that?
- I don't know.

- [man] But…
- Don't lose focus, you're doing great.

- You think so?
- Totally.

Join or leave, 'cause it's getting weird.

Um, yeah…

Close the door!

♪ One hundred years, one hundred years
May they live one hundred years ♪

♪ So long, so long
One hundred years to them ♪

♪ Once again, once again
One hundred years to them ♪

♪ One hundred years to them ♪

[laughs] All the best! Cheers!

- [all gulping]
- [glasses clinking on the table]

[Paulina] All the best to you.

Oh, look! I look so pretty! Look!

[laughing] She hasn't aged one bit. Look.

[woman] You have to take care
of this rascal, or he'll grow a belly.

Auntie, I got a belly because of beer,
not from food.

No, no, no, no! Stop being, you know.

[man] Wait a second…

Enough of these gifts, sit down.

[man] Stand up! Let's stand.

In the name of the Father, the Son,
and the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Why are you standing?

- What?
- Sit down. Do you have a chair?

- I do, but...
- Sit down.

No, I wanted…

[Marek clears his throat]

I know this isn't really
a present for you,

uh, per se, but…

I wanted to…

take the chance…

[Marek sighs]

[woman gasps]

Paulina…

[romantic music playing]

…will you marry me?

[music slows down, distorts]

Paulina?

Yeah…

♪ One hundred years
One hundred years ♪

♪ May they live one hundred years ♪

♪ So long
One hundred years to them ♪

♪ Once again, once again ♪

♪ Cheers to
Here's to them ♪

[uptempo electronic beat playing]

[camera clicks]

[knocking]

[jazzy Polish music playing]

What are you doing here?

[whispering] I was thinking that now
we might do it a bit more legally.

- What if your parents hear us?
- I checked. They're sleeping.

It's okay.

[Marek moaning]

[grunting]

[grunts loudly]

[Marek sighs]

Oh no, I'll have to wash the sheets now.

It won't dry in time.
They'll figure it out.

Well, you can wash just that one spot
and use a hairdryer.

Three words:

You're a ge-ni-us.

COMPROMISE
= SUCCESS

[woman] Taking advantage of options
that object-oriented programming provides

enables one to create well-structured code

that is easier to understand,
and therefore alter.

[door slams]

[footsteps echoing]

And more affordable in upkeep.

And so, the ability to choose
and use object-based mechanisms,

like encapsulation, inheritance,
and polymorphism and others,

to achieve the desired outcomes
crucial to programmers.

Do we know each other?

Yeah, I remember you.

Are you even in this year?

- I am.
- [professor] Name, please?

Monika Nowicka.

You're not on my list yet.
I have to ask you to leave.

- Seriously?
- [professor] Seriously.

So the ability to choose and use
object-based mechanisms,

like encapsulation, inheritance,
polymorphism and others

to achieve the desired outcome is crucial
for programmers and software designers.

[door shuts]

The aim of the course is to show
the most important…

Hello.

[professor] …and their practical use
in the world of technological evolution…

Hello.

I wanted to talk to you.

- Uh, 'bout what?
- About us.

Um, so you're saying there's an "us"?

What? No, I didn't say that.

Then what are you saying?

[sighs]

I'm the best here, right?

Um, yeah, that's what I think.

That's why you might need my help.

[professor] Am I interrupting?

- Uh, no.
- No? Are you sure?

Um, I'm sorry.

All right.

In the second part of the course,
we will talk about inheritance…

Um, you know, I've been meaning
to tell you for a while,

[chuckles] but I didn't know how.

Excellent news.

Now we should join forces.

- Join...
- Create a team, you and I.

[chuckles] Well, if you want to, then...

- You agree to it then?
- [chuckles]

Sure.

… classes with sub-classes are derived
from parent classes based on shared…

So, maybe tonight, at my place,
you and I can talk this through and...

- And exchange our experiences?
- Exactly.

Super.

[upbeat electronic music playing]

I'm being harassed.

[bouncy music plays]

- What?
- By Dr. Pietrzak.

Hold on.

Let me put you at ease, Ms. Monika,
because that's not possible.

What?

You have 100 percent absence
in her course.

So physically, it's impossible
for the harassing to have taken place.

So I wouldn't worry about it.

- I'm not fooling around.
- Neither am I. [clears throat]

Okay. So, here's the deal.

All formalities have already been arranged

between myself and your father,

and not because
he's my old college friend,

but because he is a prominent
and benevolent alum of this university.

Super.

- Do I even have a say in anything here?
- No, it's between him and me.

[car approaching]

[man] Hey, Monika.

[honking]

Let's talk about this.

Monika, let's talk.

I'm not gonna play this game anymore.
What's wrong with you?

I'll give you a ride! Hey!

[engine revs]

[brakes squeal]

- We'll talk eventually, Monika.
- Will you just leave me alone?

[honking]

Excuse me, where are you going?

- That way.
- Super, may I?

[engine revs]

[phone ringing]

Shut up.

[phone ringing]

[romantic music playing]

[phone chimes]

[gentle music plays]

Finally home.

[sighs]

I'm going to the dorm.

What for?

I have to talk to my mom on Skype,
to tell her everything.

Can't you do it on the street?

No, I'll go to my room.

[sighs] We've been telling her
we live apart for so long,

it should probably look like we do.

Mm, want me to walk you?

- No, thank you.
- You sure?

Yeah.

Okay.

Kiss me.

- I love you.
- [door slams]

Twenty-two years, 243 days, and 16 hours.

Well, maybe not
the quickest debut in history,

but it's going to be spectacular.

Right?

Right.

[sighs]

Can I take it?

Grześ!

Jesus! Someone's here?

Yeah!

Moron. I live here.

Take less of those shitty drugs.

My psycho-jelly worms
will change the world.

Oh, the condom. [laughs]

Here. I won't need it anyway.

[quick tempo electronic music playing]

IN CASE OF FIRE BREAK GLASS

[woman moaning]

[moaning]

- [moaning continues]
- [thumping]

[Rafał ] You're leaving?

No.

I heard you coming, so I opened the door.

Come in.

For you.

It's for a good start.

Good teamwork?

All right.

I've done some research on the subject,

and I figured that…

- [faint moaning]
- …this idea might work.

[moaning continues]

This idea is a little wild, but…

[moaning continues]

Damn, she's at it all the time.

[moaning grows louder]

Haven't seen you for a while.

Yeah, but let's keep that to ourselves,
okay?

Okay.

[Asian flute music playing]

Music helps with concentration.

At first, I doubted it was even possible,

but if we work on it together,
I think we might have a chance.

I'll handle the programming.

You should focus on researching
electro-sensitive materials

that are neither toxic nor harmful.

It would be a bummer
if someone's hair fell out.

I don't think we can afford
to get any lab tests at this point.

However, my friend Paulina
studies chemistry and she could help us.

Anyway, that's not our job.

We're supposed to come up
with something everybody's going to need.

Right, partner?

[tense music playing]

What are you doing?

What's wrong?

What the hell are you doing?

I thought you wanted to.

To kiss? Why would I?

You said we could try it together.

That you didn't believe it at first,
but we could make it, the two of us.

What are you talking about?

There's someone else.

What? No.

I have a chance then.

One in a million.

- That's good enough.
- Leave.

- What did I do wrong?
- Get out!

Why did you waste my time
if you don't want me?

It was about the app! About working on it.

On my app?

- Our app!
- No, my app!

I don't need help anyway,
and I won't give my gel to anyone!

- Shove it up your...
- Fuck yourself!

I will, but not you.

[knocking]

[breathing heavily]

[moans softly]

[knocking]

[Konrad] Monika.

Alive.

I've never seen anyone
black out like this before.

What were you yelling about?

He wanted to…

Why is that?

I don't know.

Because all people think about is sex.

Monika.

Monika, open up. I know you're in there.

- Something wrong?
- No, don't stop.

- [Konrad] Monika.
- [moaning]

You know I love you.

[moaning louder]

Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

He's not Sleeping Beauty.

[pounding]

Monika, open the door. Please, let's talk.

Monika, let's not act like children.
Open the door.

The closet.

[knocking]

- [clears throat] All right.
- Go in! Go in! Go in!

That's it.

- [crashing]
- [clattering]

[laughter]

[man] Hey! Hey! All right!

[techno music playing]

Hey, girl!

- [wolf whistling]
- [cheering]

- Keep going! Keep going! Keep going!
- Oh, fuck.

[chanting] Keep going!

- [clanging]
- [crowd shouting]

- [woman] Spider-Woman!
- [cheering]

First, he's a perv.
He should apologize to you.

And secondly, you're the best.

Not after today.

I'm not, and neither is my app.

[knocking]

Will you help me?

Now!

You know you don't have
to struggle like that.

You can hear every noise in here.
Every noise.

You mean yesterday?

I'm sorry. From now on, I'll be quiet.

Whenever I fake my orgasms,
I'll scale them down.

Why do you even do it?

The shagging?

Because I need it, like anyone else.

Not everyone needs to have sex.

No?

- Titties!
- [crowd shouting]

[man] Show us!

Sex is a very important part of life,
and sometimes, the most important, right?

Yeah.

It's real important.

I won't be long, so don't worry about me.

I'll graduate soon and I'm off.

Mm, that's my plan.

Hm, that's cool.

What are you working on?

[Natalia] Without Rafał,
I'm not working on anything.

Welcome to the club.

- [knocking]
- [door opens]

[Monika] Oh!

Well, thanks to you both.
I'll fake them quietly now.

[door slams]

- [sighs]
- [Natalia] Thanks for dropping by.

Uh, why was it you came by?

He proposed to me.

What?

So what's wrong?

Well, because it's final. [sighs]

Well, there's divorce.

I'm Catholic, though.

- Then what's the issue? Aren't you happy?
- Yes.

I should go.
Mariusz might think I'm cheating.

You know.

- He won't think like that.
- Why not?

Did you hear her?

People only think about sex.

[bright electronic music playing]

People only think about…

sex.

[sighs]

TECHNICAL DATA SHEET
FOR THE MOBILE APP SLEEP

[closing theme music playing]