Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll (2015–2016): Season 2, Episode 9 - Rolling in the Deep - full transcript

Dad!

You forgot to buy milk.

I notice you didn't
forget to buy yourself

two new bottles of
vodka and a giant bag of weed.

I am talking to you. Wake up.

[grunts]

Oh.

Hey, baby doll.

What the [...]? What?

A simple "Hi, Mom" would suffice.

Hi, Mom. What the [...]?



Oh, God, you never change.

All right, okay, could you please

just cover yourself up a little bit?

Why? Were you sizing up my titties?

No!

Are you they real?

Of course they're
real! They're Au naturel.

I mean, I'm 46, and they're still

standing up straight on their own.

That's pretty impressive, right?

[grunts] Oh, shit.

What are you doing on the floor?

Hey.

I don't know.



I'll tell you what you're
doing on the floor, buddy.

Last night I was riding
you harder than Seabiscuit

running into the final stretch,

and I needed a place to plant my feet.

That would explain the
carpet rash on my ass.

Oh, I think I'm gonna throw up.

Hey, did you handcuff
my ankle to the bedpost?

Yes.

You were being a very
naughty little horsey.

Okay, that's good for me.
I'm gonna go throw up now.

Okay, you do that. Close
the door on your way out.

Yep.

You have a key?

♪ Sex and drugs and rock and roll ♪

♪ All right ♪

♪ ♪

♪ All right ♪

♪ 'Cause I don't want to die ♪

♪ Anonymous ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ No, no ♪

How did this happen?

Like it always did with your dad.

You know, a bunch of
weed, lots of vodka,

and shitloads of laughs.

No, I mean, how did you guys
get together in the first place?

I called your mom three days ago

to talk about your future.

Wait, um... You called her?

Yes, because you were telling me,

like, you know, I need
to act more like an adult,

and I thought, you know what?

Who's the one person on this planet

who cares more about Gigi than I do?

It's not Ava, and it
certainly isn't Flash.

Ppppt! No, it's me.

- Mm-hmm.
- And... mmm.

Ooh.

And no one loves you more
than I do, baby doll.

It sounds so sweet when
you say it like that.

Your mother has always had
your best interests at heart.

That's true. Always.

And also I need to get
laid on a regular basis

because my bitch UPS
guy went back to his wife

- eight months ago.
- Asshole.

Okay, I don't want to hear any more

about your sex life today.

Oh, my God, sweetie,

most kids would be doing back flips

if their estranged
natural parents got back together.

Okay, well, most
kids don't have to worry

about what diabolical
plan their parents are making

in bed together.

Okay, listen, the only
plans we have for you

involve your career, your future, okay?

That's what we're planning.

That's bullshit.

You guys are just trying to
make Ava and Flash jealous.

They're not even part
of the equation anymore.

No, they are not.

Our only thoughts are about you, us.

We're the real family.

Mm-hmm.

The Assassins band family

is bullshit, okay?

It's a toxic ball of
egos and insecurities,

just like The Heathens were.

It's true. I told your mom, I said,

"Listen, why don't you put your
money where her mouth is?"

Get this, she's gonna
bankroll a music video.

A real music video.

Mm-hmm, and I'm totally gonna splurge.

We're talking, like, 200 grand here.

Real high-end, Lana Del Rey type shit.

And I lined up this director
that worked with her, right?

Played him some of your
stuff, and I am telling you

he went bananas.

- Nuts.
- He did?

- Mm-hmm.
- Yes, he did.

This video works,

which it will with you as the star,

we are gonna have record
companies lining up

to offer you huge deals,

only we will be holding the cards.

And since I can't be in the same room

with Flash anymore to write songs,

your mom has generously offered

to write songs with me for you.

You know, we wrote "Babylon"
and "No Valentine" together

- back in the day.
- Yes, we did.

And I believe we wrote both of
those songs together in bed.

- You believe right.
- Mm-hmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-mm-mmm.

Okay, so what is this?

What's going on, you guys?

Are you... You're in love again?

- [chuckles]
- [scoffs]

- A little bit.
- No.

Ooh.

We're in negotiations.

[moaning]

[door opens]

- Hey, man.
- What's up?

Do you want to go to a concert?

And before you give a quick "yes,"

it's kind of unusual.

That describes every single
thing you do around here, Bam.

- No, it doesn't.
- You pee sitting down.

I get yelled at for leaving the seat up.

It's like living with a chick.

I'm a drummer, okay? I
do everything sitting down.

When I pee, I like to
be in a state of repose.

Thank you for that
visual. What is the gig?

Adele is playing the Garden.

- I love Adele.
- I know.

She is amazing.

All right, I got this thing.

I'm calling it the
Alpha Adele Arena Night.

The Triple-A Club.

That's where I get a bunch of guys

who love Adele, right, as much as me,

and we go to the show as a group.

Maybe get some tapas beforehand.

After the show, we go
downtown, East Village,

where this DJ plays
nothing but Adele all night long.

We sing, we dance together.

What?

What's this?

That's my new "Feast" contract.

People I invited to the
show work for Michael Flatley.

The Riverdance guy?

Yeah, he wants to
come out of retirement

and take his own turn
at Irish potato famine,

hip-hop "Hamilton" rip-off.

Who's gonna play Taryn?

Flatley.

Only now they're gonna call him "Sean,"

and he's gonna be, like,
a happy, tap dancey pirate

with a lot of cool shirts and
a bunch of sexy dancers.

What is Campbell saying about this?

He took the buyout in a second

so that he could do his
own passion project.

What?

"My Left Foot: The Musical."

[scoffs]

Wait a minute.

If... if...

If Campbell's "Feast"
never actually opened,

that means my show
credit basically never existed.

Right?

How could you do this to me, man?

Bro, he's making me a producer.

He's giving me 10% of the box office.

I get to shoot pictures.

We're gonna do a coffee table book.

I'm the composer and the
creator again, man.

This show is going to debut
on Broadway next March.

Bam, I'm gonna be rich.

Well, perfect.

Because now you can
afford to buy yourself

a new best friend.

You know what?

You don't get these
either. These are mine.

I'm taking the mayonnaise too.

♪ Take those bedroom eyes ♪

♪ And look the other way ♪

♪ I'm not listening to all the ♪

♪ Funny little things you say ♪

♪ I'm already in love ♪

♪ This doesn't happen to me ♪

♪ You can't just swagger on up ♪

♪ And turn my head so suddenly ♪

♪ I got my own situation going on ♪

♪ I don't need another... ♪

Just talked to a
guy from Bowery Presents.

He says this is the
best he's ever seen the band...

Wants to know if they're gonna
be together long enough

to do any more gigs though.

You bet your ass, they are.

Hey, listen, we've gotta
start writing new stuff for her

and harness this
energy and spin it into gold...

- Yep. Yep.
- Before they kill each other.

♪ ♪

♪ I'm already in love ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ I'm already in love ♪

♪ ♪

Come on!

♪ I'm already in love ♪

♪ I'm already in love ♪

[vocalizing]

Come on now.

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

Gigi: Thank you, guys.

Dude, you slowed down the tempo.

No, no, asshole, you sped up.

That was not me. That was you.

Maybe someday you'll
learn how to play that thing.

How's that? Or try doing a gig

- without chemical assistance.
- Oh, really?

Maybe someday you'll
learn how to piss standing up,

find your dick under
all that fat, Adele.

Really? Here's my dick.

- Take that.
- Are you freaking kidding me?

- Hey!
- Cool it!

- Call me fat again!
- Come on, Adele!

- Cool it.
- I'll throw whatever I want.

He just said "cool it."
What are you, The Fonz?

[laughter]

Count us off, asshole.

I'm the asshole? Take that.

- You're an asshole.
- You prick!

Hey, hey, hey, come on, come on, no.

Come on, let's go, Flash.

- [laughs]
- Oh, Jesus, boo, come on.

- Maybe if we calmed down.
- "Boo"? Oh, my God.

- Okay, yeah, count it off.
- One, two, three.

[rock music]

One, two, three,
four. One, two, three.

[vocalizing]

[vocalizing]

♪ I'm not the one who
said the word "forever" ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Forever is a long, long time ♪

Wow, she's got your swagger.

Yeah, well, she's got your pipes

and your... aura.

Oh, yeah, is that what the kids

are calling them these days?

- Yep.
- Yeah.

I'll tell you what.

We make a pretty good goddamn team.

Mm-hmm.

But it's mostly you.

What do you mean?

I spent two decades

trying to deny what that kid was.

I mean, I wanted her to be some
innocent Ohio school girl,

maybe get married...

- Yeah.
- And settle down.

And then she comes to New York,

and in less than a year you've
made her into this star.

♪ I ain't the type to
bother helping rumors ♪

All I did was put her onstage, okay?

Everything else about it comes from you.

So you just... you
raised a wonderful kid.

You should take credit for it.

[clears throat]

Hey.

Do you want to go to the
ladies room and [...]?

Thought you'd never ask.

♪ Yeah ♪

I like it.

Wow. Okay.

I really dig that verse.

- That's great.
- You know what?

You can't have a good
verse without a great melody, so...

Which was basically all your idea.

But I don't have...
I don't have an inkling

on the bridge, you know?

Oh, I think I might have a bridge.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Play it.

Mm.

Um, it goes a little
something like... this.

Hey. I like it. Mmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. [chuckles]

So how'd you like that
blowjob last night?

It was unbelievable.

You know, you were always the best,

but you even somehow
got better over time.

Yeah, so you like my skills?

Yeah. Love your skills.

You like my tits?

Love your tits.

What about my ass?

You know I love your ass.

Mmm. Mm-hmm.

What about me?

Okay.

Trick question.

Oh, my God.

[moaning]

Mm-hmm.

Mm, whoa.

Okay.

Ah.

[chuckles]

Oh, wow.

Shit.

- [door opens]
- Gigi: Hey.

Hey.

What's, uh, going on?

Nothing. Where's Mom?

She's, um...

I'm just... I'm right here.

I dropped... I dropped my earring.

Yeah, she dropped an earring.

- There it is, honey. There... yup.
- Oh, yes.

- Found it.
- Thank you so much.

- [thud]
- Ooh, ow.

- You okay?
- Yes, no, nothing.

Didn't even feel that at all.

Yep.

- [clears throat]
- [clears throat]

We were, uh...

Working on a new tune for you.

- Yes, we were.
- A tune about blowjobs?

- [chuckles]
- No.

[chuckles]

- Oh.
- It's a ballad, actually.

You play, I sing.

Yes.

♪ So many miles ♪

♪ We have wandered ♪

♪ So many tears ♪

♪ To be cried ♪

♪ Well, we were good together ♪

♪ That's what I will remember ♪

♪ In time ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[music rising]

♪ So many hours ♪

♪ Here laughing ♪

♪ Down all these days ♪

♪ We traveled so long ♪

♪ ♪

♪ If the sorrow and the pain ♪

♪ Are part of what remain ♪

♪ That's all right ♪

♪ Yeah, all right ♪

♪ ♪

♪ But when the sun
comes up tomorrow ♪

♪ You will be walking ♪

♪ Right beside me ♪

♪ And when the
stars light up the sky ♪

♪ You will be shining ♪

♪ Shining ♪

♪ Yeah-ah ♪

♪ Shining ♪

♪ Shining ♪

♪ So many times ♪

♪ Fighting and falling ♪

♪ So many nights ♪

♪ Just calling you again ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Wrapped around each other ♪

♪ Seeking temporary cover ♪

♪ From this wide and wicked world ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Oh, this wide and wicked world ♪

♪ So many nights ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ So many lies ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Oh, so many lies ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Yeah, so many lies ♪

♪ ♪

Great. That was great.

Really good, guys. Let's take a break.

- Great.
- Yeah.

You guys are really getting it now.

- Yeah.
- Liking it.

- Great breakup song.
- Yeah.

Guess our relationship wasn't
a total bust, huh?

Well, it wasn't really about us.

Nope, it's about Micki.

- It is?
- Yeah.

But, I mean, like any song,

everyone interprets it their own way.

- But we wrote it about Micki.
- Yep.

Wow, that puts a
much deeper spin on it.

I agree. Gigi, just
work with me here for a sec.

Hey, Ava, you should sing that song,

as Ava X.

I mean, you were
closer to Micki than I was,

and I know you can do the song justice,

especially given what
you know about it now.

I don't know what to say.

I do. Why you being so generous?

- Flash.
- Oh, here we go. [sighs]

No, man, I'm serious. Why?

Wha... consider it my olive branch.

For which war, the
one we got going right now

or a new one you're getting
ready to start?

This is the shit I'm talking about.

- Blow me.
- Hey, don't...

How about a "thank you," asshole?

- How 'bout that?
- All right, all right.

- Calm down, stop!
- Goddamn!

Can we take a break?

Yeah, I'm gonna... I'm
gonna go get some fresh air.

Ungrateful son of a bitch.

[scoffs] What's the point, you know?

You gonna go talk to Ava?

- Yes, I am.
- Good idea.

- Relax.
- I'm relaxed.

- Dad.
- I'm relaxed.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

I'm sorry about Micki.

I was gonna contact you, but you know.

And I'm also sorry about
the Johnny thing,

but he called me.

He did?

Mm.

He wanted help with Gigi's career,

and his new solo project.

He's getting back onstage?

Yeah, we are writing
him some new tunes now.

New tunes for Gigi and Johnny,

that's... That's a lot of work.

Nah.

We can handle it.

I mean, we've always had this
very deep creative connection.

I was actually really
surprised how electric it still was.

We wrote "So Many Miles" in one sitting.

It was like "poof."

What?

Oh.

Nothing.

Um, listen.

Y'all got something good going
on, I'm happy for you.

[chuckles] Really?
'Cause you just smoked

that cigarette in like three drags.

Yeah, I'm a little out of practice.

Hey, Ava.

Johnny and I just happened,

same as you and Flash.

Flash and I,

we have a connection

and a future.

We're not, um... We're not a fling.

This is not just a fling.

Johnny and I are attached forever

as Gigi's parents and
her new songwriters.

Yeah, you're right.

It doesn't sound like a fling.

Sounds like a business deal.

Hey, Johnny, would you
mind giving Gigi and me

a moment alone together, please?

Anything you want to say to me,

you can say in the
presence of my father.

Yep.

Anything professional,

anything personal.

That's how it's gotta be.

Yep.

That's how it's gonna be from now on.

Johnny and Cat are up to no good.

- [sighs]
- You.

Listen, he's out for
money. She's out for blood.

You don't know what the
hell you're talking about.

Okay, Cat shows up,

starts spending all
this time with the band,

writing songs with you,
donating songs to Ava X,

like she gives a
shit about that project.

You mark my words, he's after her cash.

She's out to break up The
Assassins and Ava X.

And shame on you, pimping
out your daughter,

you greedy son of a bitch.

No, no, no, no, no!

No, God, stop! No, no, no, no, no!

You could break your hand on his face.

How you gonna play
guitar with a broken hand?

- What about my face?
- No, uh-uh, uh-uh.

- No! No!
- Ow! Ow!

Stop it, stop it! Stop, stop!

- No, no, no.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ow! Ow! He's biting me! He's biting!

Bite his arm, not his hand!

What is going on?

- Can you do something?
- Stop it!

Why are you fighting like that?

Stop what you're doing right now!

What are you guys
doing? Stop it, break it up!

- Dude.
- Come on, what are you doing?

- Dudes, dudes!
- You gotta be kidding me.

- No...
- Are you serious?

- Are you kidding me?
- No, I'm not kidding you!

Do not touch my... You big meatball.

- Wahhh!
- What the hell?

Dude, stop it.

Come on, you want some of this?

- Mother...
- You want this?

[overlapping shouting]

Hey, guys, come on! Just stop it.

- Let go...
- Get off him!

No, no, not her hair!
Not her hair or her face!

[overlapping shouting]

- My balls!
- [screaming]

- Get off me!
- Stop!

Stop!

Just stop!

Dude, look what you did to my camera!

Oh, my God, it broke off the body.

That's what you get.

Stupid.

Everybody just chill!

Okay, just chill for a second.

This is crazy, right?

Here's what I think we should do, okay?

I think that we
should just take a second,

take a deep breath,

and I think that we should take
a couple days off, right?

Get away a little bit,

and maybe some of this anger

and bitterness and resentment

can just kind of fade to
the background for a minute.

Okay?

Right? What do you guys think?

Oh, my God, stop being
such a little bitch, Noah!

Listen, what we should do
is get some studio time, right?

We gotta take all this crazy bullshit

and turn it into a couple of new songs.

So I am gonna call my friend Phil.

I'm gonna see if there's a
couple days at his studio.

And what do you think
about that, yea or nay?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's a good idea.

Whatever, I'm always up to play, yeah.

- I'll do it.
- I'll do it.

- Why not?
- Who cares? Why not?

Pick up your camera.

You're gonna have to pay for this, kid.

- I'm not paying for nothing.
- Asshole.

Yeah?

Yeah, you almost
ripped my new jacket.

Your jacket? Look at my new blouse.

- My tits are out now.
- You're a jackass.

♪ Something old ♪

♪ Something new ♪

♪ Something sad ♪

♪ Something blue ♪

♪ Something lost ♪