Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll (2015–2016): Season 1, Episode 10 - Because We're Legion - full transcript
Greg Dulli sets Gigi up with a well-respected producer from the west coast, which Johnny loves because Flash doesn't.
I blame myself. It's all my fault.
You know, I'm your father;
I have been doing this
for 2 1/2 decades; I
should've known better.
But here's the good news.
We almost sold our souls.
But at the last second,
we snatched them back.
No, it's all my fault.
I made the decision. I
knew I was selling out.
But it was just... It was so seductive.
The money and the attention.
Guys, no, no, no.
This was definitely not your fault.
It was all me.
I had my head in the clouds.
I... I got to take all
the blame on this one.
Yeah, you're right.
I am?
You're way older than me,
and you've already been
through this whole fame game
with your, so precious Gaga.
You should've been looking out for me.
I was looking out for you.
No, you were looking out
for my tits and ass
in that barely there,
see-through bathing suit.
Wait a minute. What about him?
- He was drunk and high.
- Yes, I was.
And yet he still managed
to bring me to my senses.
I can't believe you're gonna
blame this whole thing on me.
Well, believe it. You were my boyfriend.
You should've had my
best interests at heart.
- "Were"?
- We need a new plan.
Yes, we do. You know what we need?
Go back to the songs. Great goddamn songs.
Songs that are gonna last for 25 years.
We lost our vibe. Now
we're gonna get it back.
My dad is right.
Sorry, Flash.
Did she just break up with me?
♪ Sex and drugs and rock and roll ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ 'Cause I don't want to die ♪
♪ Anonymous ♪
♪ No, no ♪
♪ No, no ♪
♪ No, no ♪
You know, when you get to that part, so...
Then down to the C minor.
Yes, exactly right.
Well, that blew.
I just returned all the
outfits and clothes and stuff
that we bought on the
record company's dime.
Are we absolutely certain
that we are not selling our souls?
Because those Brian Atwood
Gladiator Adelaides...
I was pretty close to sucking off Satan.
Gigi just broke up with me.
You want to win her back?
You better suck up, cowboy.
Show some boyfriend bravado.
You pussed out when she needed you most.
Yes, you did.
You thought about what you wanted
and not what she needed.
♪ ♪
Hey, that's weird.
Why is... why is Greg Dulli
singing in my apartment?
Greg Dulli is singing in my apartment.
That's my ringtone for him.
Hello?
Hi.
Yeah, no. I got the flowers.
They're great.
I can talk now.
No.
She is taking control of her destiny.
I hooked her up with Dulli,
who is hooking her up with his favorite
alt rock studio guru.
That's bullshit.
That's not happening on my watch, honey...
Sit down and shut the fuck up, Johnny Rock.
What she has to say
makes a hell of a lot of sense.
Hey, how do you go and talk to Greg Dulli,
my sworn mortal enemy, behind my back
without talking to me about it...
I don't need to talk to
you about Greg Dulli.
You have been talking
at me about Greg Dulli
for the past three months.
I took the reins, and I made a move.
Did you not just say five minutes ago,
"We need to get back to
doing what we do best,
"writing critically acclaimed songs,
- not songs that are great now"...
- I did say that. Yes, I did say that.
"But that'll stay great in 25 years."
- Exactly. That's what I said.
- You did?
Okay, well, this guy is gonna come in.
He is great. He heard our music.
He thinks it's wonderful.
He's gonna fly in from
LA a day from tomorrow.
Awesome idea.
Stop thinking about yourself for once.
Think of Gigi for a change.
What does this guy do?
What is he? Like, a producer or...
He's a vibe advisor.
- That's his title?
- Yes, it is.
Okay, that's not, like, some typical
LA douchebaggery right there.
I want you to pick up on the vibe
that I am giving off right now, Dad.
Do you feel it?
Yeah, I'm feeling it.
Good. Call Bam Bam and Rehab.
Get them back in the band.
Aye-aye, Captain!
One rhythm section coming up!
What a dumb-ass.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Can they take the helmets off?
They'll take the helmets off
once a deal is in place.
You got to be shitting me, right?
Anger and rage have no place
at the negotiation table.
That's great coming from you. You
know, what are you even doing
sitting on their side of the table, okay?
Because when we kicked
them out of the band,
you were on this side of the table.
It's called forgiveness, John.
All of a sudden, you're Don
fucking Henley over there?
You know what? You're
just a money-grubbing,
greedy little whore, which is the way
you've always been and... guys, hey...
Hey, hey, guys, please, sit down.
Let's just try to work this out
in a calm and mature fashion.
- Okay.
- See?
Now, that's a far more amenable tone.
That's why we're here, to make amends.
We're also here to apologize
for making such a grievous mistake.
- Grievous?
- We want you back in the band.
Vietnam was a grievous mistake, okay?
We want to listen to
anything you have to say.
Kurt Cobain marrying Courtney Love,
that was a grievous mistake, all right?
- I don't think...
- John...
John, do you want the band
back together or not?
We want you back in the band.
We need you back in the band.
We miss you, okay?
And we miss your contribution.
See? Now, was that so hard?
- It wasn't. You're right.
- See? Lesson learned.
Shit. Thank God.
I was suffocating in here.
I think I need a bigger helmet, Rehab.
Or a smaller fucking head, right?
No, no, guys, I was just joking.
Guys, I'm sorry, okay?
Great.
I just want to say that
your head does look...
I mean, it looks swollen inside the thing.
No, no, that's just a medical observation.
That's all. I'm sorry.
No more of those, all right?
We're good?
Not so fast.
We got a list.
Of what?
- Demands.
- What?
Okay.
They want their own app.
- An app?
- What kind of app?
That's not "app." That's "apt."
- That's two Ps right there.
- That's a T.
Your handwriting sucks.
It's 'cause this is such
a small piece of paper.
Well, you know what? Get the notebook.
The notebook doesn't fit
inside my racing suit.
I told you that earlier.
Wait, you guys want an apartment?
And a... suppository.
- What?
- It says security deposit.
"Security deposit" is two words.
We're gonna move into our
own apartment, okay?
And you guys are gonna pay the
first and the last month's rent,
and that's the end of it.
Now, I want an app.
I mean, we should get a
beast-core app, right?
Well, then we'd be getting rid
- of the apartment, which is my whole plan.
- No, no, no, we keep the apartment,
add in the app, right?
We're not getting you an app or an apt.
Let's cut to the chase here.
There is no negotiation
because you guys are
coming back into the band
because you don't really
have any other choice.
Hey, for your information Johnny Rock,
not only do we have a choice;
we got multiple choices.
- Really?
- Yes.
Let me hear them.
We got offers left, right,
and center, my friend, to DJ, and...
That's true.
We want the rights to What's My Name.
For what?
Because we have a EDM version
that's attracting some attention
from a perfume company.
No. No way. It's not happening.
What do you mean? John, wait, relax.
Who's negotiating that deal?
Moi.
What?
You know, on second thought,
Gigi's not gonna mind losing that song.
It just brings up bad memories of Sex Bomb.
- You guys can have that tune.
- Yep.
- So helmets off?
- Helmets off.
Helmets off, all right.
- Dude.
- God, that hurts.
Bro.
I'm glad to be back.
Guys, it's not coming off.
My helmet's not coming off. It's stuck.
- Yeah, dude...
- You okay?
- Tap his head on the table.
- Why?
No, it's like a pickle jar.
A couple taps, it loosens it right up.
- I don't know.
- Yeah.
I'm not a... I'm a human being!
On three. On three. One...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, are we
gonna do it on three,
or are you gonna count
to three and then do it?
Yeah, we're gonna say "three" and then tap.
- One, two, three.
- And then tap.
Well, then, it's actually four.
- All right.
- That's four.
- One, two, three.
- My...
Hey.
Guess who just got Bam and Rehab
back into the band.
Ira?
No, not Ira, honey. Me. I did it.
I got them back in.
What'd you promise them?
I promised them some
bullshit publishing rights.
They have a stupid EDM
version of What's My Name
that nobody on earth is
ever actually gonna hear.
- Nicely done, Dad.
- Yes.
Your wish is my command, baby.
So anything else you
want, just let me know.
Lose the snakeskin pants.
They're not snakeskin; they're iguana.
Well, then keep them.
That's totally different.
Johnny and I wrote a new song, all right?
I arranged the whole thing by myself.
I laid down a demo where
I played all the parts.
So just play along with the track.
Play what I played, all right?
And when this new guy shows up tomorrow,
let's look cool, okay?
No old T-shirts, sneakers, half-assed shit.
Wear rock-and-roll threads
like a big city gig time, all right?
You got one chance to
make a first impression.
- Whatever.
- Who died and left you Yoko?
I'm not being Yoko.
If I'm being anybody, I'm being Paul
'cause I got lots of marketing ideas,
and I play every instrument in the band.
I'm showing some leadership
qualities, love.
So you're Paul McCartney?
Which makes me John Lennon.
Lots of talent, no marketing ideas.
No, no, no, that makes me Yoko,
and that ain't happening.
Well, I'm not gonna be Linda.
I can actually sing.
I'm definitely not being Ringo.
There's nothing wrong with being Ringo.
Says George.
You get to be tall, dark, and handsome.
I'm a mindless, happy midget on a riser
doing a monkey-ass backbeat.
Fuck The Beatles. Let's be The Who.
No, we're not being The Who.
The best drummer and bass player
in rock and roll history, Hab.
Both of them die of a drug overdose.
You choke on your own puke.
Ringo it is. I'll be Ringo.
Why not just be The Assassins?
What's up, amigos? J.P.
- Hey.
- Johnny boy.
I was just checking out
your board in there.
I didn't want to interrupt
your cute little argument.
- Ava, how are you?
- Fine.
Flash, you sexy beast.
Bam, Rehab, Gigi, what's up?
No... nothing. Nothing, so...
No? I dig your voice.
I got to tell you.
Thank you.
You're a day early.
I like the element of surprise.
Check out the animal in its
natural, unprepared state.
Yeah, a lot of bad vibes
going back and forth here?
Spooky.
Bad vibes are good.
Yeah.
I like this room.
Dude, you are one of the
most interesting people
I've ever met in my life.
Dude, you are a great fucking drummer.
Thank you, dude.
I dig this band.
Y'all got some crazy negative
vibes going on here.
I mean, you two, you've
been together forever?
Yep.
And you two, you just broke up.
Yeah.
You two, holy fuck.
What a shit-hot good mess you guys are.
I'm gonna dig this.
I want that demo.
I'll move my gear into here,
plug it into your board.
We are definitely recording in this room.
The animal in situ, you feel me?
- You feel me?
- Yes.
- Archaeology?
- Yes.
- Anthropology?
- Totally.
- Don't cage it in.
- Right.
That's right. Come on. Let's do something.
I want to hear something.
Fire it up.
You know the animal in situ?
- I don't.
- What's a situ?
Situ, situ...
Hey, I don't know what Dulli
and Grohl told you about me,
and I don't know what you
think is gonna go on here
with my band in this room, but
let me tell you something...
J.P.?
What's up, sweet thing?
Which song do you want to do first?
Wow. That's an amazing jacket.
- Yeah, it's good?
- Yeah.
My girlfriend gave it to me
just before we broke up.
No. A parting gift.
You could say that.
We were so wrong for each other,
which is probably why
I was into it in the first place.
Varvatos?
You got a little bit of the
devil in you, don't you?
Um...
Why did I come in here?
- The song.
- Yeah.
The first song.
Yeah, what do you want to do?
Why don't we feel it out?
Okay, yeah.
Yeah.
What?
I'm sorry. What were you saying?
I was wondering if you
would like an espresso.
♪ ♪
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You're gonna find out now ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You're gonna scream it out ♪
♪ ♪
I wonder what I did with my phone.
Look up J.P.'s ass.
That's where your head's
been the last two days.
Gigi thinks you closed the Bam, Rehab deal?
You backstabbing little bitch.
Okay, negative vibes, negative vibes.
You know, J.P. loves those.
Hey, what's the deal with Gigi?
She's all over that guy.
She's got a crush on him.
She just had a big crush on me.
She's 21 years old.
What do you expect?
You want some stability
or a guaranteed timeline,
date somebody my age.
Did you tell her about us?
God damn it, Ava.
No. God.
And you swore that you
would never say anything
about that again.
I know you're talking to her all the time.
That happened 25 years ago.
And it happened in a moment of revenge
and madness for the both of us.
Johnny finds out about that,
it's not gonna be some
small-time thing, okay?
It'll break up the band for good.
Like my marriage?
God damn it, Flash.
When are you gonna realize
that your marriage
is to Johnny fucking Rock?
What is the longest
relationship you've ever had?
2 1/2 decades of all this
fucking shit between you two.
Why don't you get your head out of your ass
and stop thinking about
some 21-year-old chick
and start focusing on the
real love of your life?
She's right.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Why isn't anyone talking?
We're talking. Yeah.
Do you want some tea or
espresso or something...
Just rude... somebody comes
into a room and just...
The espresso's really good. There's grapes.
You know, you want some grapes?
- I got to go.
- Please, don't.
See you.
Flash,
you need to stop telling J.P. what to do.
I thought you wanted me
to be more of a leader,
but you're in there, giggling
away with Vinnie Vibrations,
and I don't know... what's going on?
You know, Flash, if you want
your love life to make sense,
you really should date someone
your own age, like Ava.
Why did you say that like that?
Why'd you say why'd I say
that like that like that?
Wait.
What's going on?
Nothing.
I said, "Why'd you say
that like that" like that
because there's nothing going on.
Fuck... why don't you
date somebody like Ava?
Why'd you say it like that?
Why did you say...
- Hey.
- Hey, man.
Do me a favor and knock when
you come in, all right?
Okay.
That new song you and Flash wrote,
that's the one I want to record.
- Complicated?
- Yeah.
- Why that one?
- Because it's a total bummer.
Which is good, right?
In the worst possible way.
Let me see your eyes.
Take off those glasses.
Yeah, baby. Give me the Pepsi.
Get me some more mustard
on that, would you?
Thanks.
Remember, knock.
Yep, okay.
Gigi so knows about you and Ava.
Johnny thinks your weight's
making you a weak link.
You are so beautiful.
Gigi knows about you and Flash.
Johnny thinks you're a better bass player
than Entwistle ever was.
Your dad wrote this song
about your feelings toward him.
Flash wrote it with you in mind.
And also I'm pretty sure
Flash slept with Ava.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ It's complicated in a million ways ♪
♪ Complicated by a thousand days ♪
♪ Complicated like a hurricane ♪
♪ Blowing through ♪
♪ Me and you ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Separated by a final kiss ♪
♪ Left me so broken down like this ♪
♪ Was a time when you could not resist ♪
♪ Anything, anything ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Well, I could simplify ♪
♪ My expectations ♪
♪ ♪
♪ But I'm so mystified ♪
♪ By the situation ♪
♪ ♪
♪ If I love you truly ♪
♪ Madly, deeply, tell me, baby ♪
♪ Isn't that enough? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I wore my heart ♪
♪ Right on my sleeve ♪
♪ And in the end, you only tore it off ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ It's complicated ♪
♪ Like a photograph ♪
♪ And it knocks me down ♪
♪ And wants to drag me back ♪
♪ When things were simple ♪
♪ Do you remember that? ♪
♪ Me and you... ♪
♪ Tried and true ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Complicated ♪
♪ Yeah, it's so... ♪
♪ Complicated ♪
♪ Boy, it's so... ♪
♪ Complicated ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh... ♪
♪ ♪
- Wow.
- Yeah.
Nice!
- I like that.
- So great.
- Right?
- Yeah.
- Hey, guys.
- Yeah?
- I just heard from J.P.
- And?
He said that Sub Pop loved Complicated,
and they're thinking of
giving us a small advance
so we can record two more songs.
- What did I tell you?
- Awesome.
- What did I say?
- Yeah, but now,
they're backing off that plan because,
last night, J.P.'s boss
was watching an NBA game,
and he heard my voice
singing on a commercial.
Perfume commercial?
Watch.
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
Your name will be confident.
Your day will be on the go,
any day, every day,
with new Refresh, Spring Scent,
Glo 'n' Go feminine perfume.
No odor, no itch.
Any day, anywhere, anytime.
Refresh, Spring Scent, Glo 'n' Go.
You're gonna want to know that name.
♪ ♪
♪ You're gonna scream it out ♪
J.P. said, "The rock vibe may be a river,
"but it doesn't run through
crappy national commercials
about smelly vagina sprays."
And itching. Don't forget the itching.
You closed the deal on that song
with Bam and Rehab, didn't you, Johnny?
Yes, I did.
Dad, I need to see you in
the hallway now. Please.
You know I love you, right, hon?
No, this isn't about love.
This is about women all over North America
thinking of my voice
whenever they get a yeast infection.
Hallway.
Okay.
I want to watch it again.
The really happy one had
a cute pair of shoes on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was my favorite.
She was hot.
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You're gonna find out now ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You're gonna scream it out ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
You know, I'm your father;
I have been doing this
for 2 1/2 decades; I
should've known better.
But here's the good news.
We almost sold our souls.
But at the last second,
we snatched them back.
No, it's all my fault.
I made the decision. I
knew I was selling out.
But it was just... It was so seductive.
The money and the attention.
Guys, no, no, no.
This was definitely not your fault.
It was all me.
I had my head in the clouds.
I... I got to take all
the blame on this one.
Yeah, you're right.
I am?
You're way older than me,
and you've already been
through this whole fame game
with your, so precious Gaga.
You should've been looking out for me.
I was looking out for you.
No, you were looking out
for my tits and ass
in that barely there,
see-through bathing suit.
Wait a minute. What about him?
- He was drunk and high.
- Yes, I was.
And yet he still managed
to bring me to my senses.
I can't believe you're gonna
blame this whole thing on me.
Well, believe it. You were my boyfriend.
You should've had my
best interests at heart.
- "Were"?
- We need a new plan.
Yes, we do. You know what we need?
Go back to the songs. Great goddamn songs.
Songs that are gonna last for 25 years.
We lost our vibe. Now
we're gonna get it back.
My dad is right.
Sorry, Flash.
Did she just break up with me?
♪ Sex and drugs and rock and roll ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ 'Cause I don't want to die ♪
♪ Anonymous ♪
♪ No, no ♪
♪ No, no ♪
♪ No, no ♪
You know, when you get to that part, so...
Then down to the C minor.
Yes, exactly right.
Well, that blew.
I just returned all the
outfits and clothes and stuff
that we bought on the
record company's dime.
Are we absolutely certain
that we are not selling our souls?
Because those Brian Atwood
Gladiator Adelaides...
I was pretty close to sucking off Satan.
Gigi just broke up with me.
You want to win her back?
You better suck up, cowboy.
Show some boyfriend bravado.
You pussed out when she needed you most.
Yes, you did.
You thought about what you wanted
and not what she needed.
♪ ♪
Hey, that's weird.
Why is... why is Greg Dulli
singing in my apartment?
Greg Dulli is singing in my apartment.
That's my ringtone for him.
Hello?
Hi.
Yeah, no. I got the flowers.
They're great.
I can talk now.
No.
She is taking control of her destiny.
I hooked her up with Dulli,
who is hooking her up with his favorite
alt rock studio guru.
That's bullshit.
That's not happening on my watch, honey...
Sit down and shut the fuck up, Johnny Rock.
What she has to say
makes a hell of a lot of sense.
Hey, how do you go and talk to Greg Dulli,
my sworn mortal enemy, behind my back
without talking to me about it...
I don't need to talk to
you about Greg Dulli.
You have been talking
at me about Greg Dulli
for the past three months.
I took the reins, and I made a move.
Did you not just say five minutes ago,
"We need to get back to
doing what we do best,
"writing critically acclaimed songs,
- not songs that are great now"...
- I did say that. Yes, I did say that.
"But that'll stay great in 25 years."
- Exactly. That's what I said.
- You did?
Okay, well, this guy is gonna come in.
He is great. He heard our music.
He thinks it's wonderful.
He's gonna fly in from
LA a day from tomorrow.
Awesome idea.
Stop thinking about yourself for once.
Think of Gigi for a change.
What does this guy do?
What is he? Like, a producer or...
He's a vibe advisor.
- That's his title?
- Yes, it is.
Okay, that's not, like, some typical
LA douchebaggery right there.
I want you to pick up on the vibe
that I am giving off right now, Dad.
Do you feel it?
Yeah, I'm feeling it.
Good. Call Bam Bam and Rehab.
Get them back in the band.
Aye-aye, Captain!
One rhythm section coming up!
What a dumb-ass.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Can they take the helmets off?
They'll take the helmets off
once a deal is in place.
You got to be shitting me, right?
Anger and rage have no place
at the negotiation table.
That's great coming from you. You
know, what are you even doing
sitting on their side of the table, okay?
Because when we kicked
them out of the band,
you were on this side of the table.
It's called forgiveness, John.
All of a sudden, you're Don
fucking Henley over there?
You know what? You're
just a money-grubbing,
greedy little whore, which is the way
you've always been and... guys, hey...
Hey, hey, guys, please, sit down.
Let's just try to work this out
in a calm and mature fashion.
- Okay.
- See?
Now, that's a far more amenable tone.
That's why we're here, to make amends.
We're also here to apologize
for making such a grievous mistake.
- Grievous?
- We want you back in the band.
Vietnam was a grievous mistake, okay?
We want to listen to
anything you have to say.
Kurt Cobain marrying Courtney Love,
that was a grievous mistake, all right?
- I don't think...
- John...
John, do you want the band
back together or not?
We want you back in the band.
We need you back in the band.
We miss you, okay?
And we miss your contribution.
See? Now, was that so hard?
- It wasn't. You're right.
- See? Lesson learned.
Shit. Thank God.
I was suffocating in here.
I think I need a bigger helmet, Rehab.
Or a smaller fucking head, right?
No, no, guys, I was just joking.
Guys, I'm sorry, okay?
Great.
I just want to say that
your head does look...
I mean, it looks swollen inside the thing.
No, no, that's just a medical observation.
That's all. I'm sorry.
No more of those, all right?
We're good?
Not so fast.
We got a list.
Of what?
- Demands.
- What?
Okay.
They want their own app.
- An app?
- What kind of app?
That's not "app." That's "apt."
- That's two Ps right there.
- That's a T.
Your handwriting sucks.
It's 'cause this is such
a small piece of paper.
Well, you know what? Get the notebook.
The notebook doesn't fit
inside my racing suit.
I told you that earlier.
Wait, you guys want an apartment?
And a... suppository.
- What?
- It says security deposit.
"Security deposit" is two words.
We're gonna move into our
own apartment, okay?
And you guys are gonna pay the
first and the last month's rent,
and that's the end of it.
Now, I want an app.
I mean, we should get a
beast-core app, right?
Well, then we'd be getting rid
- of the apartment, which is my whole plan.
- No, no, no, we keep the apartment,
add in the app, right?
We're not getting you an app or an apt.
Let's cut to the chase here.
There is no negotiation
because you guys are
coming back into the band
because you don't really
have any other choice.
Hey, for your information Johnny Rock,
not only do we have a choice;
we got multiple choices.
- Really?
- Yes.
Let me hear them.
We got offers left, right,
and center, my friend, to DJ, and...
That's true.
We want the rights to What's My Name.
For what?
Because we have a EDM version
that's attracting some attention
from a perfume company.
No. No way. It's not happening.
What do you mean? John, wait, relax.
Who's negotiating that deal?
Moi.
What?
You know, on second thought,
Gigi's not gonna mind losing that song.
It just brings up bad memories of Sex Bomb.
- You guys can have that tune.
- Yep.
- So helmets off?
- Helmets off.
Helmets off, all right.
- Dude.
- God, that hurts.
Bro.
I'm glad to be back.
Guys, it's not coming off.
My helmet's not coming off. It's stuck.
- Yeah, dude...
- You okay?
- Tap his head on the table.
- Why?
No, it's like a pickle jar.
A couple taps, it loosens it right up.
- I don't know.
- Yeah.
I'm not a... I'm a human being!
On three. On three. One...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, are we
gonna do it on three,
or are you gonna count
to three and then do it?
Yeah, we're gonna say "three" and then tap.
- One, two, three.
- And then tap.
Well, then, it's actually four.
- All right.
- That's four.
- One, two, three.
- My...
Hey.
Guess who just got Bam and Rehab
back into the band.
Ira?
No, not Ira, honey. Me. I did it.
I got them back in.
What'd you promise them?
I promised them some
bullshit publishing rights.
They have a stupid EDM
version of What's My Name
that nobody on earth is
ever actually gonna hear.
- Nicely done, Dad.
- Yes.
Your wish is my command, baby.
So anything else you
want, just let me know.
Lose the snakeskin pants.
They're not snakeskin; they're iguana.
Well, then keep them.
That's totally different.
Johnny and I wrote a new song, all right?
I arranged the whole thing by myself.
I laid down a demo where
I played all the parts.
So just play along with the track.
Play what I played, all right?
And when this new guy shows up tomorrow,
let's look cool, okay?
No old T-shirts, sneakers, half-assed shit.
Wear rock-and-roll threads
like a big city gig time, all right?
You got one chance to
make a first impression.
- Whatever.
- Who died and left you Yoko?
I'm not being Yoko.
If I'm being anybody, I'm being Paul
'cause I got lots of marketing ideas,
and I play every instrument in the band.
I'm showing some leadership
qualities, love.
So you're Paul McCartney?
Which makes me John Lennon.
Lots of talent, no marketing ideas.
No, no, no, that makes me Yoko,
and that ain't happening.
Well, I'm not gonna be Linda.
I can actually sing.
I'm definitely not being Ringo.
There's nothing wrong with being Ringo.
Says George.
You get to be tall, dark, and handsome.
I'm a mindless, happy midget on a riser
doing a monkey-ass backbeat.
Fuck The Beatles. Let's be The Who.
No, we're not being The Who.
The best drummer and bass player
in rock and roll history, Hab.
Both of them die of a drug overdose.
You choke on your own puke.
Ringo it is. I'll be Ringo.
Why not just be The Assassins?
What's up, amigos? J.P.
- Hey.
- Johnny boy.
I was just checking out
your board in there.
I didn't want to interrupt
your cute little argument.
- Ava, how are you?
- Fine.
Flash, you sexy beast.
Bam, Rehab, Gigi, what's up?
No... nothing. Nothing, so...
No? I dig your voice.
I got to tell you.
Thank you.
You're a day early.
I like the element of surprise.
Check out the animal in its
natural, unprepared state.
Yeah, a lot of bad vibes
going back and forth here?
Spooky.
Bad vibes are good.
Yeah.
I like this room.
Dude, you are one of the
most interesting people
I've ever met in my life.
Dude, you are a great fucking drummer.
Thank you, dude.
I dig this band.
Y'all got some crazy negative
vibes going on here.
I mean, you two, you've
been together forever?
Yep.
And you two, you just broke up.
Yeah.
You two, holy fuck.
What a shit-hot good mess you guys are.
I'm gonna dig this.
I want that demo.
I'll move my gear into here,
plug it into your board.
We are definitely recording in this room.
The animal in situ, you feel me?
- You feel me?
- Yes.
- Archaeology?
- Yes.
- Anthropology?
- Totally.
- Don't cage it in.
- Right.
That's right. Come on. Let's do something.
I want to hear something.
Fire it up.
You know the animal in situ?
- I don't.
- What's a situ?
Situ, situ...
Hey, I don't know what Dulli
and Grohl told you about me,
and I don't know what you
think is gonna go on here
with my band in this room, but
let me tell you something...
J.P.?
What's up, sweet thing?
Which song do you want to do first?
Wow. That's an amazing jacket.
- Yeah, it's good?
- Yeah.
My girlfriend gave it to me
just before we broke up.
No. A parting gift.
You could say that.
We were so wrong for each other,
which is probably why
I was into it in the first place.
Varvatos?
You got a little bit of the
devil in you, don't you?
Um...
Why did I come in here?
- The song.
- Yeah.
The first song.
Yeah, what do you want to do?
Why don't we feel it out?
Okay, yeah.
Yeah.
What?
I'm sorry. What were you saying?
I was wondering if you
would like an espresso.
♪ ♪
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You're gonna find out now ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You're gonna scream it out ♪
♪ ♪
I wonder what I did with my phone.
Look up J.P.'s ass.
That's where your head's
been the last two days.
Gigi thinks you closed the Bam, Rehab deal?
You backstabbing little bitch.
Okay, negative vibes, negative vibes.
You know, J.P. loves those.
Hey, what's the deal with Gigi?
She's all over that guy.
She's got a crush on him.
She just had a big crush on me.
She's 21 years old.
What do you expect?
You want some stability
or a guaranteed timeline,
date somebody my age.
Did you tell her about us?
God damn it, Ava.
No. God.
And you swore that you
would never say anything
about that again.
I know you're talking to her all the time.
That happened 25 years ago.
And it happened in a moment of revenge
and madness for the both of us.
Johnny finds out about that,
it's not gonna be some
small-time thing, okay?
It'll break up the band for good.
Like my marriage?
God damn it, Flash.
When are you gonna realize
that your marriage
is to Johnny fucking Rock?
What is the longest
relationship you've ever had?
2 1/2 decades of all this
fucking shit between you two.
Why don't you get your head out of your ass
and stop thinking about
some 21-year-old chick
and start focusing on the
real love of your life?
She's right.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Why isn't anyone talking?
We're talking. Yeah.
Do you want some tea or
espresso or something...
Just rude... somebody comes
into a room and just...
The espresso's really good. There's grapes.
You know, you want some grapes?
- I got to go.
- Please, don't.
See you.
Flash,
you need to stop telling J.P. what to do.
I thought you wanted me
to be more of a leader,
but you're in there, giggling
away with Vinnie Vibrations,
and I don't know... what's going on?
You know, Flash, if you want
your love life to make sense,
you really should date someone
your own age, like Ava.
Why did you say that like that?
Why'd you say why'd I say
that like that like that?
Wait.
What's going on?
Nothing.
I said, "Why'd you say
that like that" like that
because there's nothing going on.
Fuck... why don't you
date somebody like Ava?
Why'd you say it like that?
Why did you say...
- Hey.
- Hey, man.
Do me a favor and knock when
you come in, all right?
Okay.
That new song you and Flash wrote,
that's the one I want to record.
- Complicated?
- Yeah.
- Why that one?
- Because it's a total bummer.
Which is good, right?
In the worst possible way.
Let me see your eyes.
Take off those glasses.
Yeah, baby. Give me the Pepsi.
Get me some more mustard
on that, would you?
Thanks.
Remember, knock.
Yep, okay.
Gigi so knows about you and Ava.
Johnny thinks your weight's
making you a weak link.
You are so beautiful.
Gigi knows about you and Flash.
Johnny thinks you're a better bass player
than Entwistle ever was.
Your dad wrote this song
about your feelings toward him.
Flash wrote it with you in mind.
And also I'm pretty sure
Flash slept with Ava.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ It's complicated in a million ways ♪
♪ Complicated by a thousand days ♪
♪ Complicated like a hurricane ♪
♪ Blowing through ♪
♪ Me and you ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Separated by a final kiss ♪
♪ Left me so broken down like this ♪
♪ Was a time when you could not resist ♪
♪ Anything, anything ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Well, I could simplify ♪
♪ My expectations ♪
♪ ♪
♪ But I'm so mystified ♪
♪ By the situation ♪
♪ ♪
♪ If I love you truly ♪
♪ Madly, deeply, tell me, baby ♪
♪ Isn't that enough? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I wore my heart ♪
♪ Right on my sleeve ♪
♪ And in the end, you only tore it off ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ It's complicated ♪
♪ Like a photograph ♪
♪ And it knocks me down ♪
♪ And wants to drag me back ♪
♪ When things were simple ♪
♪ Do you remember that? ♪
♪ Me and you... ♪
♪ Tried and true ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Complicated ♪
♪ Yeah, it's so... ♪
♪ Complicated ♪
♪ Boy, it's so... ♪
♪ Complicated ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh... ♪
♪ ♪
- Wow.
- Yeah.
Nice!
- I like that.
- So great.
- Right?
- Yeah.
- Hey, guys.
- Yeah?
- I just heard from J.P.
- And?
He said that Sub Pop loved Complicated,
and they're thinking of
giving us a small advance
so we can record two more songs.
- What did I tell you?
- Awesome.
- What did I say?
- Yeah, but now,
they're backing off that plan because,
last night, J.P.'s boss
was watching an NBA game,
and he heard my voice
singing on a commercial.
Perfume commercial?
Watch.
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
Your name will be confident.
Your day will be on the go,
any day, every day,
with new Refresh, Spring Scent,
Glo 'n' Go feminine perfume.
No odor, no itch.
Any day, anywhere, anytime.
Refresh, Spring Scent, Glo 'n' Go.
You're gonna want to know that name.
♪ ♪
♪ You're gonna scream it out ♪
J.P. said, "The rock vibe may be a river,
"but it doesn't run through
crappy national commercials
about smelly vagina sprays."
And itching. Don't forget the itching.
You closed the deal on that song
with Bam and Rehab, didn't you, Johnny?
Yes, I did.
Dad, I need to see you in
the hallway now. Please.
You know I love you, right, hon?
No, this isn't about love.
This is about women all over North America
thinking of my voice
whenever they get a yeast infection.
Hallway.
Okay.
I want to watch it again.
The really happy one had
a cute pair of shoes on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was my favorite.
She was hot.
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You're gonna find out now ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You're gonna scream it out ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Baby, what's my name? ♪
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.