Secret Diary of a Call Girl (2007–2011): Season 4, Episode 3 - Episode #4.3 - full transcript
Belle has a new client, Harry Keegan,a detective sergeant who is handsome but slightly creepy since he knows a lot about her and is keen on having sex in dangerously public places. Poppy finds out at last that her mother and Belle are high-class call girls and the discovery leaves her shocked and angry. Belle's sister Jackie also drops by and,given their history,she is cool towards Ben.
You want to know the real
difference between you and me?
It's that I love the very thing
you fear most-the danger,
Let's do it.
What did you think I was doing?
Naughty.
You're so...
Excellent.
That's the thing about thrill-seeking -
you want to push it as far as you can
without crossing the line,
Because once you've done that...
you're completely lost.
(Mobile phone rings)
I'm sorry.
No problem, Bellina.
God! Can't a girl get some erotic photos
without constant interruption?
Yes! What is it, Kat?
I'm afraid Kat got herself
into a spot of bother,
- Who is this?
- it's all right. She's fine now.
- Who are you, please?
- You don't know me... yet.
But I know you, Belle.
Right, erm... I want to speak to Kat.
Denham Hotel. Garrick Street.
Room 102,
- I'm calling the police.
- OK, fair enough,
Oh, there is one thing, though.
I am the police.
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey! What about the photos?
- Just send them.
- In the mail? No way.
Jesus, I haven't got time for this.
I'll call you. Drive! You can drive.
You can't just go like this.
Hey! Hey!
So mean.
- Ah. The delectable Belle.
- Where's Kat?
She's gone home.
Don't worry. She's fine.
- She better be.
- My name's Harry.
Detective Sergeant Harry Keegan.
Yeah, I know. I just spoke to Stephanie.
- How is she?
- She said thanks for the phone.
Oh. No worries.
And I suppose it didn't occur to you earlier
to tell me you were her tame copper.
Well...where would the fun be in that?
Oh.
Yeah, she warned me you'd be like this.
What?
Witty? Handsome?
- (Laughs) No. An arrogant sod.
- Oh?
- Yeah.
- She forgot to mention "handsome"?
- Yeah.
- Oh.
Shame on her.
You know, the room's still booked out
for another 20 minutes.
Well, that's great.
Cos it'll just give you some time to...
tidy up.
Hmm.
Catch you later, Belle.
One of life's great pleasures.
Come home mid-morning, world's at work,
take a nice long bath.
- Oh!
- Oh, shit! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I wasn't expecting you.
- it's a nice surprise, though.
- Yeah, isn't it just?
Er, why aren't you at work?
(Poppy) Email it to me.
Exactly, exactly!
The suppliers are doing their quarterly audit.
I'm going in later.
- Are you having a good day?
- Yeah, I was.
Ben, can you not play with the ball
in the house, please?
- Sorry.
- (Doorbell rings)
- (Poppy) Really?!
- I can't deal with this.
- Fuck! Jackie!
- Charming. Bought you a plant.
I mean, hi...obviously.
Erm, what...are you doing here?
You invited your only sister round
to see your new house, remember?
No, I don't...
Ohh. Well played.
Thank you.
So, may I enter?
Or is there a written exam
I need to sit first?
Han, you fancy some lunch?
- Is that Ben?
- No?
Yeah, I was thinking
maybe we can reheat the...
Fuck.
Jackie.
- Jackie's here! Yay!
- Hello, Ben.
How are you, Jackie?
I'm not well, thank you.
Did you want to know why?
- Er...
- Do you...
- I think you should get going.
- I'm gonna call you back.
Because when Ben and I had...
sexual intercourse,
and he then promptly decided he did not
want to have an adult relationship with me,
it seriously damaged my self-image
and left me with residual
self-esteem issues,
which manifest themselves
in my daily life.
- How is Dr Griffin?
- He's a lifesaver.
I'm very sorry, Jackie.
So, I should probably warn you,
whatever your name is,
that you should not rely on this man
to affirm who you are as an individual,
because he will leave you,
and he will crush you.
- Erm, wait. We, er...
- What?
- We're not together, so...
- No, no. He's with Belle.
- Who?
- Er... Belle? Hello?
- That's a nickname, that's what that is.
- He's living here?
That's what couples do, right?
Why don't you go and make
some calls, Poppy?
You and Ben are a couple?
- Kind of, yeah.
- Sort of.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
This is not good at all.
(Sighs)
(Chuckles)
(Coughs)
This couldn't be more awkward.
- Hello?
- Oh, apparently it could!
- Is this a bad time?
- (All) Yes.
So, Bellina,
I came to bring the photos...
My, erm...my boyfriend and my sister
are probably not interested in this.
- Ay.
- Yeah.
Pardon me. OK. I go now.
(Laughs) OK. Bye-bye.
- (Mobile phone rings)
- Oh, wow! Is this a joke or what?
(Ben) Yeah.
(Sighs) Hello?
- I want to book you,
- It's just the decorators.
- I should have some availability,
- Well, we'll need two hours.
I see. And, erm...
what time did you have in mind?
Oh, you'll know when it starts.
Why do you need decorators?
Because we were thinking of...painting.
We were?
In fact, that was...
that was them there on the phone.
They've got some paint samples that they
want to show us, but we've got to go now.
- Now?
- Yeah.
- Oh, no.
- But I only just got here.
- I know.
- it's a bummer. Oh, well.
If you want to stay, you're more than welcome.
We're not gonna be long.
- I know when I'm not wanted, Hannah.
- it's good to see you again, Jackie.
I disagree.
That woman is a nightmare.
- That woman is my sister.
- Right. Sorry.
And she's a nightmare.
Hey, we're not really doing this
paint sample stuff, are we?
- Of course not.
- Clever girl!
In that case, do you mind
if I duck offfor an hour?
There's a place with a subwoofer.
it's got these special...
- It's man stuff.
- OK, go. Enjoy yourself.
Mmm. Bye.
(Tyres screech)
- Has it started yet?
- Nearly.
Instructions inside.
What's he playing at?
How does it feel?
Where are you?
Around,
Take a left Walkdown to the end,
Left... Left here?
Are you still there?
Harry?
Someone might see us.
(Gasps)
Someone might see us. (Laughs)
Yeah.
Oh!
(Moaning)
You stay right there.
(Belle) Where are you,?
- (Gasps)
- Everything all right?
- You scared the shit out of me.
- Sorry. Shall we?
Yeah.
(Harry humming)
- I can't believe wejust did that.
- Ah, this is us, I think.
- What are you doing?
- I forgot my key.
- You can't just break in.
- Yes, we can.
Assaulting a police officer...
contrary to Section 89 oft he Police Act.
Oh, dear.
(Grunts)
- Resisting arrest - Section 38.
- Not looking good for me, is it?
Indecent exposure - Section 66,
Sexual Offences Act.
Looks like I'll be going down for a long...
hard stretch.
Unless you just want to punish me
here and now.
Well, the public does expect
quick and firm justice.
- (Door opens)
- (Gasps) Fuck!
(Moaning)
- (Door closes)
- (Sighs)
- (Laughs) Fuck!
- (Doorbell rings)
- Hello.
- Oh, hi. I'm Kat. Is Belle in?
Er, no, no, she's not.
Can I take a message?
Oh, I just came by
to say sorry about this morning.
- Why, what happened?
- Oh, just a run-in with a nasty client.
Oh.
(Sighs) She's great, isn't she - Belle?
Yeah, she's nice.
Nicerthan Stephanie,
that's for sure.
(Laughs) You think?
Well, I mean, Stephanie's amazing.
it's her business after all.
She looks after the girls really nice and that,
but Belle's just a bit more, you know...
Stephanie's my mother.
What? Oh, fuck.
What do you mean,
she looks after the girls?
Nothing. Look, erm...
I've got to go.
Don't worry about the message.
Don't worry.
Oh.
Don't you worry you'll get caught?
The fear of getting caught -
that's the whole point.
Anyway...I enjoy being out
of step with the world.
So do you.
- Maybe.
- That's why we get on.
We're the same, you and me.
We don't deal in black and white.
We prefer all those shades of grey in-between.
- We're not the same, Harry.
- Of course we are.
Our friendships...
our relationships...
they're fine.
But they're not real.
This... This is the real us.
You know nothing about my relationships.
Ben.
Look, I'm sure he's a nice guy.
it's none of my business.
- No, it isn't.
- I'm just saying...
you might really, really want...
what Ben can give you.
But you need...
what I can give you.
You don't know what you're talking about.
- Yeah, you're probably right.
- Bye, Harry.
(Door shuts)
See you.
Never cross the line.
Never cross the line.
Wow.
You look amazing.
Oh.
What was that for?
- Aren't I allowed to kiss my boyfriend?
- Fuck, yeah.
- We can do it on the counter if you like.
- (Laughs)
Everyone! If you could all leave now,
- my girlfriend and I...
- No, no. Stop it.
No? Sure? I could get them out.
All right, false alarm.
Carry on.
Erm...
how about tonight, we go home,
and I make you the most...
delicious Italian meal,
and then I take you to the theatre?
- So, Thai and DVD, huh?
- Yeah, exactly. (Laughs)
- I can't wait.
- OK.
You know what? Hang out forten minutes,
and I'll come back with you.
OK.
- You liar.
- (Laughing)
- Liar!
- No! I did.
- You did not pass Grade Sixviolin.
- Yes, I did.
That is absolute boll...
- (Poppy) So, you are a fucking whore.
- Oh, shit. Poppy...
And you...
What sort ofa man spends
his life with a whore,
pretending like everything
is happy families?
None of this is real.
You do know that, don't you?
it's all a fucking lie.
- I'm sorry you had to find out this way.
- Oh, please.
I don't need pity from a prostitute,
thanks very much.
- That's enough.
- it's OK.
Yeah, do what she says, nice little Ben.
Hey. Hannah's gone out of her way
to look after you while your mo...
Yes?
While your mother's away.
Where is she?
- Poppy...
- Where is she?
Prison.
(Sobbing)
Tell me one thing.
(Laughs) Was she ever a prostitute?
- Oh...
- (Whispers) Leave her.
You OK?
Yeah, I just feel awful for her.
Yeah, I know. But don't forget
it's Stephanie's fault.
She dumped her on you.
Of course she was
gonna find out eventually.
- Yeah, maybe.
- Definitely.
- Thankyou.
- What for?
(Sighs)
Standing up for me.
- Can't pay the mortgage alone.
- (Chuckles)
I'm sure she'll feel better tomorrow.
Perhaps we sit down,
have a proper conversation with her.
Yeah, perhaps.
(Mobile phone rings)
- Who was that?
- No one. Come on.
(Sighs)
Everything's gonna be fine.
To be continued, I guess...
Hannah.
(Starts engine)
I thought your book was just...wow!
- We think it's perfect for the big screen.
- Oh.
Would you consider yourself a feminist?
Silence! (Yells)
- You sent me to live with an escort.
- There's no need to make a fuss about it.
Do you charge more for the gross stuff?
I've never done this with anyone but,
erm...Charlotte.
Mummy! I'm ready to come out now!
Mummy! I'm ready to come out now!
difference between you and me?
It's that I love the very thing
you fear most-the danger,
Let's do it.
What did you think I was doing?
Naughty.
You're so...
Excellent.
That's the thing about thrill-seeking -
you want to push it as far as you can
without crossing the line,
Because once you've done that...
you're completely lost.
(Mobile phone rings)
I'm sorry.
No problem, Bellina.
God! Can't a girl get some erotic photos
without constant interruption?
Yes! What is it, Kat?
I'm afraid Kat got herself
into a spot of bother,
- Who is this?
- it's all right. She's fine now.
- Who are you, please?
- You don't know me... yet.
But I know you, Belle.
Right, erm... I want to speak to Kat.
Denham Hotel. Garrick Street.
Room 102,
- I'm calling the police.
- OK, fair enough,
Oh, there is one thing, though.
I am the police.
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey! What about the photos?
- Just send them.
- In the mail? No way.
Jesus, I haven't got time for this.
I'll call you. Drive! You can drive.
You can't just go like this.
Hey! Hey!
So mean.
- Ah. The delectable Belle.
- Where's Kat?
She's gone home.
Don't worry. She's fine.
- She better be.
- My name's Harry.
Detective Sergeant Harry Keegan.
Yeah, I know. I just spoke to Stephanie.
- How is she?
- She said thanks for the phone.
Oh. No worries.
And I suppose it didn't occur to you earlier
to tell me you were her tame copper.
Well...where would the fun be in that?
Oh.
Yeah, she warned me you'd be like this.
What?
Witty? Handsome?
- (Laughs) No. An arrogant sod.
- Oh?
- Yeah.
- She forgot to mention "handsome"?
- Yeah.
- Oh.
Shame on her.
You know, the room's still booked out
for another 20 minutes.
Well, that's great.
Cos it'll just give you some time to...
tidy up.
Hmm.
Catch you later, Belle.
One of life's great pleasures.
Come home mid-morning, world's at work,
take a nice long bath.
- Oh!
- Oh, shit! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I wasn't expecting you.
- it's a nice surprise, though.
- Yeah, isn't it just?
Er, why aren't you at work?
(Poppy) Email it to me.
Exactly, exactly!
The suppliers are doing their quarterly audit.
I'm going in later.
- Are you having a good day?
- Yeah, I was.
Ben, can you not play with the ball
in the house, please?
- Sorry.
- (Doorbell rings)
- (Poppy) Really?!
- I can't deal with this.
- Fuck! Jackie!
- Charming. Bought you a plant.
I mean, hi...obviously.
Erm, what...are you doing here?
You invited your only sister round
to see your new house, remember?
No, I don't...
Ohh. Well played.
Thank you.
So, may I enter?
Or is there a written exam
I need to sit first?
Han, you fancy some lunch?
- Is that Ben?
- No?
Yeah, I was thinking
maybe we can reheat the...
Fuck.
Jackie.
- Jackie's here! Yay!
- Hello, Ben.
How are you, Jackie?
I'm not well, thank you.
Did you want to know why?
- Er...
- Do you...
- I think you should get going.
- I'm gonna call you back.
Because when Ben and I had...
sexual intercourse,
and he then promptly decided he did not
want to have an adult relationship with me,
it seriously damaged my self-image
and left me with residual
self-esteem issues,
which manifest themselves
in my daily life.
- How is Dr Griffin?
- He's a lifesaver.
I'm very sorry, Jackie.
So, I should probably warn you,
whatever your name is,
that you should not rely on this man
to affirm who you are as an individual,
because he will leave you,
and he will crush you.
- Erm, wait. We, er...
- What?
- We're not together, so...
- No, no. He's with Belle.
- Who?
- Er... Belle? Hello?
- That's a nickname, that's what that is.
- He's living here?
That's what couples do, right?
Why don't you go and make
some calls, Poppy?
You and Ben are a couple?
- Kind of, yeah.
- Sort of.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
This is not good at all.
(Sighs)
(Chuckles)
(Coughs)
This couldn't be more awkward.
- Hello?
- Oh, apparently it could!
- Is this a bad time?
- (All) Yes.
So, Bellina,
I came to bring the photos...
My, erm...my boyfriend and my sister
are probably not interested in this.
- Ay.
- Yeah.
Pardon me. OK. I go now.
(Laughs) OK. Bye-bye.
- (Mobile phone rings)
- Oh, wow! Is this a joke or what?
(Ben) Yeah.
(Sighs) Hello?
- I want to book you,
- It's just the decorators.
- I should have some availability,
- Well, we'll need two hours.
I see. And, erm...
what time did you have in mind?
Oh, you'll know when it starts.
Why do you need decorators?
Because we were thinking of...painting.
We were?
In fact, that was...
that was them there on the phone.
They've got some paint samples that they
want to show us, but we've got to go now.
- Now?
- Yeah.
- Oh, no.
- But I only just got here.
- I know.
- it's a bummer. Oh, well.
If you want to stay, you're more than welcome.
We're not gonna be long.
- I know when I'm not wanted, Hannah.
- it's good to see you again, Jackie.
I disagree.
That woman is a nightmare.
- That woman is my sister.
- Right. Sorry.
And she's a nightmare.
Hey, we're not really doing this
paint sample stuff, are we?
- Of course not.
- Clever girl!
In that case, do you mind
if I duck offfor an hour?
There's a place with a subwoofer.
it's got these special...
- It's man stuff.
- OK, go. Enjoy yourself.
Mmm. Bye.
(Tyres screech)
- Has it started yet?
- Nearly.
Instructions inside.
What's he playing at?
How does it feel?
Where are you?
Around,
Take a left Walkdown to the end,
Left... Left here?
Are you still there?
Harry?
Someone might see us.
(Gasps)
Someone might see us. (Laughs)
Yeah.
Oh!
(Moaning)
You stay right there.
(Belle) Where are you,?
- (Gasps)
- Everything all right?
- You scared the shit out of me.
- Sorry. Shall we?
Yeah.
(Harry humming)
- I can't believe wejust did that.
- Ah, this is us, I think.
- What are you doing?
- I forgot my key.
- You can't just break in.
- Yes, we can.
Assaulting a police officer...
contrary to Section 89 oft he Police Act.
Oh, dear.
(Grunts)
- Resisting arrest - Section 38.
- Not looking good for me, is it?
Indecent exposure - Section 66,
Sexual Offences Act.
Looks like I'll be going down for a long...
hard stretch.
Unless you just want to punish me
here and now.
Well, the public does expect
quick and firm justice.
- (Door opens)
- (Gasps) Fuck!
(Moaning)
- (Door closes)
- (Sighs)
- (Laughs) Fuck!
- (Doorbell rings)
- Hello.
- Oh, hi. I'm Kat. Is Belle in?
Er, no, no, she's not.
Can I take a message?
Oh, I just came by
to say sorry about this morning.
- Why, what happened?
- Oh, just a run-in with a nasty client.
Oh.
(Sighs) She's great, isn't she - Belle?
Yeah, she's nice.
Nicerthan Stephanie,
that's for sure.
(Laughs) You think?
Well, I mean, Stephanie's amazing.
it's her business after all.
She looks after the girls really nice and that,
but Belle's just a bit more, you know...
Stephanie's my mother.
What? Oh, fuck.
What do you mean,
she looks after the girls?
Nothing. Look, erm...
I've got to go.
Don't worry about the message.
Don't worry.
Oh.
Don't you worry you'll get caught?
The fear of getting caught -
that's the whole point.
Anyway...I enjoy being out
of step with the world.
So do you.
- Maybe.
- That's why we get on.
We're the same, you and me.
We don't deal in black and white.
We prefer all those shades of grey in-between.
- We're not the same, Harry.
- Of course we are.
Our friendships...
our relationships...
they're fine.
But they're not real.
This... This is the real us.
You know nothing about my relationships.
Ben.
Look, I'm sure he's a nice guy.
it's none of my business.
- No, it isn't.
- I'm just saying...
you might really, really want...
what Ben can give you.
But you need...
what I can give you.
You don't know what you're talking about.
- Yeah, you're probably right.
- Bye, Harry.
(Door shuts)
See you.
Never cross the line.
Never cross the line.
Wow.
You look amazing.
Oh.
What was that for?
- Aren't I allowed to kiss my boyfriend?
- Fuck, yeah.
- We can do it on the counter if you like.
- (Laughs)
Everyone! If you could all leave now,
- my girlfriend and I...
- No, no. Stop it.
No? Sure? I could get them out.
All right, false alarm.
Carry on.
Erm...
how about tonight, we go home,
and I make you the most...
delicious Italian meal,
and then I take you to the theatre?
- So, Thai and DVD, huh?
- Yeah, exactly. (Laughs)
- I can't wait.
- OK.
You know what? Hang out forten minutes,
and I'll come back with you.
OK.
- You liar.
- (Laughing)
- Liar!
- No! I did.
- You did not pass Grade Sixviolin.
- Yes, I did.
That is absolute boll...
- (Poppy) So, you are a fucking whore.
- Oh, shit. Poppy...
And you...
What sort ofa man spends
his life with a whore,
pretending like everything
is happy families?
None of this is real.
You do know that, don't you?
it's all a fucking lie.
- I'm sorry you had to find out this way.
- Oh, please.
I don't need pity from a prostitute,
thanks very much.
- That's enough.
- it's OK.
Yeah, do what she says, nice little Ben.
Hey. Hannah's gone out of her way
to look after you while your mo...
Yes?
While your mother's away.
Where is she?
- Poppy...
- Where is she?
Prison.
(Sobbing)
Tell me one thing.
(Laughs) Was she ever a prostitute?
- Oh...
- (Whispers) Leave her.
You OK?
Yeah, I just feel awful for her.
Yeah, I know. But don't forget
it's Stephanie's fault.
She dumped her on you.
Of course she was
gonna find out eventually.
- Yeah, maybe.
- Definitely.
- Thankyou.
- What for?
(Sighs)
Standing up for me.
- Can't pay the mortgage alone.
- (Chuckles)
I'm sure she'll feel better tomorrow.
Perhaps we sit down,
have a proper conversation with her.
Yeah, perhaps.
(Mobile phone rings)
- Who was that?
- No one. Come on.
(Sighs)
Everything's gonna be fine.
To be continued, I guess...
Hannah.
(Starts engine)
I thought your book was just...wow!
- We think it's perfect for the big screen.
- Oh.
Would you consider yourself a feminist?
Silence! (Yells)
- You sent me to live with an escort.
- There's no need to make a fuss about it.
Do you charge more for the gross stuff?
I've never done this with anyone but,
erm...Charlotte.
Mummy! I'm ready to come out now!
Mummy! I'm ready to come out now!