Secret Diary of a Call Girl (2007–2011): Season 2, Episode 7 - Episode #2.7 - full transcript
To impress a sceptical, moralistic Alex, Belle gives up escorting to become an office temp but she is terrible and quits after only one day. He returns to her but their night of passion is a disaster. Firstly he keeps imagining all her men lined up at the bottom of the bed. They are then interrupted by a drunken, miserable Ben who has thrown over his girl-friend and declares his feelings for Belle, unaware that Alex is in the next room and can hear everything.
Today. I'm gonna tell Alex today.
- Hannah's a prostitute.
- It's what she does.It's not who she is.
What if she was your girlfriend
fucking other men for money?
- Just stay the night.
- You're in love with her.
I've got a girlfriend, Alex.
# CANSEI DE SER SEXY: Let's Make Love
And Listen To Death From Above
I need to get Alex back.
So I've decided to go straight.
Secret Diary of a Call Girl S02E07
Capture:chocolate
Sync:FRS@雨潇
Hi.
hey
I brought you some of your
favourites.
- Thanks.
- It's those pastries.
- Listen, we should talk.
- Yeah, we should.
I've given up.
- What?
- I've packed in escorting.
I've got a job. Well, a proper one.
- It's this office thing.
- Oh.
I just think it's the only way I can
really make things work with Alex.
Oh, right.
After everything that's happened,
it's...
Is that what you wanted to talk
about?
Yeah.
You're not gonna mention the fact
that we had sex?
Yeah.
OK, that was a mistake.
We shouldn't have done it.
We should just move on.
To what? Pastries?
We had sex, Hannah.
Look, in the heat of the moment, we
forgot the reasons why we shouldn't.
It's not worth talking about.
Let's forget about it.
I'd better get to work.
Ben!
We're cool, aren't we?
Yeah.
Hi.
Thanks for coming round.
I know it's not really...
What do you want?
I wanna show you something.
I've thrown out everything.
All my escort clothes,
my work mobile.
I've packed it in.
And...
I've got a job.
A proper one.
I've done it
because I want us to be together.
Is that it?
What?
I said, is that it?
Cos if it is, I'm gonna go.
Hang on.
Is that all you're gonna say?
About what?
- How you feel.
- You know how I feel.
- I want you to tell me.
- All right.
I've never felt so humiliated,
disgusted and appalled in my life.
And I've never felt so cheated,
manipulated and...
..and deceived.
And if I'm honest...
I've never...
..hated someone...
..as much as I hated you that day.
- I'm sorry.
- Me, too.
I tell you what, I'll let you try
some. Hold on one sec.
Excuse me,
could you have a look at
my mobile? There's something wrong with it.
- What's wrong with it?
- It hasn't got your number in it.
Excuse me.
Try that.
Yeah?
"Can you let me in?"
Yeah, sure.
Can I use your phone, please? I left
mine at home. My car battery's flat.
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
Hello? Hi, it's Alex McCloud.
I broke down in the underground car
park on Stephenson Street.
An hour. OK, brilliant.
Thank you. All right, bye.
So they're gonna be an hour and...
Do you wanna wait here? We can keep
an eye out.
No, no. I'll wait in the car.
I'm sorry, I'm not sure it's gonna
work out tonight.
I'm a bit...
My head's a bit messed up.
I'm sort of breaking up with my
girlfriend.
I moved out. It's still a bit messy.
Well, it's OK
if you wanna have a cry.
No, I'm fine.
I just don't feel particularly...
I mean, don't get me wrong,
I'd love to.
Look, most guys would kill to be on
a sofa with a girl as pretty...as you.
It would probably do me a world of
good to just...
Yeah.
They just called. They won't be here
till two.
They said they're gonna phone when
they're outside.
Something about women priorities or
something.
It's just not good.
Why don't you come and wait inside?
Alex, come on, I don't wanna wait for
a phone call. I've got work in the
morning.
What?
It's just that...
You've ruined my exit.
No, no, that was brilliant.
Yeah, very good exit.
Well, big day tomorrow.
New job, first impressions.
Yeah.
Are you gonna go to bed or are you
just gonna stand there?
Don't worry, I won't touch you.
Well, not unless you pay me.
That's really inappropriate.
Yeah, I'm going to bed.'Night.
Hannah!
Hannah! Did you hear the phone ring?
Oh, God, I feel sick.
I'm ill on my first day!
Hannah, did you hear the phone ring?
I fell asleep.
I think I've got meningitis. Will you
blanch my skin?
You've not got meningitis.
You're tired.
See, this is why we should be
together.
I always think I'm dying.
You always know I'm tired.
And late.
Late, yeah.
Tired and late.
You know me so well.
No, no, you're really late.
Hello?
- Oh, shit.
- Hello?
Hello?
Hannah.
That's perfect, yeah.
OK.
I'll see you in half an hour.
Thank you.Bye.
So here I am all ready.
Alex, can I say something?
Yeah.
You know we're good together?
Yeah.
If I wasn't an escort, would we still
be together?
Yes.
Well, I'm not an escort.
Any more.
Look, I've got a new job.
I'm on my way.
It's gonna take a lot
more than a new job.
It's a start. It's a start, isn't it?
- It's a start.
- Just... OK, see me tonight.
Even if it's to laugh at my cooking
for one last time.
Hannah.
Did you pull the plug
out of the phone?
Only cos I love you.
My problem with the job market is
that I'm used to thinking on my back,
not my feet.
- Piss a lot?
- Sorry?
Do you piss a lot?
We're allowed two toilet breaks -
one in the morning, one in the
afternoon.
No personal calls, no personal
emails, no chatter.
No crying, no whining.
100 of these, A5, collated and
stapled.
No personal emergencies unless it is
a death or serious maiming.
A sick day is a sick day.
Six sick days not validated by a
medical professional
will result
in an official warning.
200, collated, stapled.
Now, has that all gone in there?
Or am I gonna have to draw a little
diagram?
You can count on me.
I love Alex.
Alex...
I love Alex.
I love...
..Alex.
I love Alex.
He loves me.
I love Alex.
I love Alex.
He loves me.
Alex... I love Alex.
He loves me...
Sorry to interrupt, Hannah. I can
see you've got someone with you.
No...
You're not very good at this,
are you?
I thought I was just getting
the hang of it.
No, no, you're not.
So we're gonna have to give you
something a bit easier.
A special task only you can do.
- I've gotta shred all these?
- No, no, no.
- This is just A-C.
- What?
D-Z are in the basement. Here.
Sorry about the big shredder.
It's out of order.
Shred, shred, shred!
I can't do this. I can't do it.
I can't...
I quit.
Another thing she does, right,
in all the years, yeah, it's just
take, take, take.
It is all about her.
She never listens,
impossible to get a word in.
I wanna have a little cheeky one
with you.
Cheers, cheers.
- Ben.
- I'm all right.
You tend your garden, I'll tend
mine. I'm just having a drink.
Hey!
Fine.
No. Thank you.
How was work?
Uneventful. Go on. Take your glass.
No.
I am...
a million miles away from all this
right now.
I thought we were just gonna chat.
Yeah, over dinner. So I thought why
not make a bit of an effort?
When are you gonna admit that
there's 101 things that we need to
sort out before we do this?
- Like what?
- Like promises.
Promises that you're never gonna lie
again, that you'll never see your
old clients.
That you tell me absolutely
everything?
That you're doing this for yourself
and not just for me.
And a promise that you're never,
ever gonna do that again.
I will make every single one of those
promises, and you know I will.
But I'm not gonna let you stand here
and have a go at me
for trying to show you
how much I love you?
And I know this isn't what you want.
But I'm gonna keep on making mistakes
until I do the one thing that makes
you love me again.
It's not working.
- Sorry.
- Give me a minute.
No, don't...don't bother, please...
Hannah, this just...
I can't do this. I can't...
God...
Oh, God. Oh, God...
Oh, God.
(POUNDING HEARTBEAT)
Oh, God, no.
What's wrong?
Nothing. Nothing.Just erm...
- Let me try something else.
- Just fucking lie there.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't. Don't.
- I didn't mean that.
- It's fine.
- I don't know why I said that.
- Yeah, you do.
You think I'm a whore.
No, I don't.
Honestly, I don't.
I'm trying.
It's...I can't really get some things out of my head.
This was too soon.
- Hello?
- "I've been mugged."
"Are you gonna open the fucking
door?"
Yeah, I'll buzz you up. Hang on.
It's Ben. He's been mugged.
He sounds hammered.
- I've been mugged.
- Yeah, I know. You said.
Come on.
What happened?
Did they take your wallet?
No. I was in town
and then I was with some cans.
And they didn't let me back in.
And I lay down and...The next thing I know,
these girls are putting their bag,
fucking trying to steal my cans.
Some girls stole your lagers?
Some girls stole my lager.
What are you doing here?
I live here.
Oh, you live here.
What did you do that for, Ben?
Whoo!
- Is everything all right?
- Yeah, it's fine.
- Can you just give us a minute?
- Yeah, sorry, doctor.
What did you do that for, Ben?
So I don't have to listen to your
boring shit any more.
Me and you are over.
Find someone else to listen to you
moaning.
Him!
What's the matter, Ben?
I broke up with Vanessa.I'm free and single.
And I did a sex on a girl last
night.
Lisa!Very nice.
And I've...
You don't know because you never
talk to me any more.
You're a crap friend.
Sorry.
Why did you break up with Vanessa?
Did you do it over us?
Not everything in the world
is about you.
I broke up Vanessa because...I love her but...
I'm not in love with her.
I love someone else.
Where's my phone? Where's my phone?
You broke it, Breezy.
Hold that for a second.
Are you...
gonna come to bed for a bit?
Just for a little bit.
Just to come to bed...Trousers, yeah?
Er, I think you can keep those on.
- Is he OK?
- Yeah, he's fine.
What's he doing here?
Why is he so drunk?
Because I've been a really crap
friend.
Come to bed.
I'm just gonna stay with him
for a while.
OK.
I thought it was Belle complicating
things.
It turns out it was me all along.
- I'm here to make your day.
- One last job?
- I love you.
- Don't work too hard.
One hour, £5000.
It's not like anyone will know.
She is taking a booking.
9:30 tonight.
- Hannah's a prostitute.
- It's what she does.It's not who she is.
What if she was your girlfriend
fucking other men for money?
- Just stay the night.
- You're in love with her.
I've got a girlfriend, Alex.
# CANSEI DE SER SEXY: Let's Make Love
And Listen To Death From Above
I need to get Alex back.
So I've decided to go straight.
Secret Diary of a Call Girl S02E07
Capture:chocolate
Sync:FRS@雨潇
Hi.
hey
I brought you some of your
favourites.
- Thanks.
- It's those pastries.
- Listen, we should talk.
- Yeah, we should.
I've given up.
- What?
- I've packed in escorting.
I've got a job. Well, a proper one.
- It's this office thing.
- Oh.
I just think it's the only way I can
really make things work with Alex.
Oh, right.
After everything that's happened,
it's...
Is that what you wanted to talk
about?
Yeah.
You're not gonna mention the fact
that we had sex?
Yeah.
OK, that was a mistake.
We shouldn't have done it.
We should just move on.
To what? Pastries?
We had sex, Hannah.
Look, in the heat of the moment, we
forgot the reasons why we shouldn't.
It's not worth talking about.
Let's forget about it.
I'd better get to work.
Ben!
We're cool, aren't we?
Yeah.
Hi.
Thanks for coming round.
I know it's not really...
What do you want?
I wanna show you something.
I've thrown out everything.
All my escort clothes,
my work mobile.
I've packed it in.
And...
I've got a job.
A proper one.
I've done it
because I want us to be together.
Is that it?
What?
I said, is that it?
Cos if it is, I'm gonna go.
Hang on.
Is that all you're gonna say?
About what?
- How you feel.
- You know how I feel.
- I want you to tell me.
- All right.
I've never felt so humiliated,
disgusted and appalled in my life.
And I've never felt so cheated,
manipulated and...
..and deceived.
And if I'm honest...
I've never...
..hated someone...
..as much as I hated you that day.
- I'm sorry.
- Me, too.
I tell you what, I'll let you try
some. Hold on one sec.
Excuse me,
could you have a look at
my mobile? There's something wrong with it.
- What's wrong with it?
- It hasn't got your number in it.
Excuse me.
Try that.
Yeah?
"Can you let me in?"
Yeah, sure.
Can I use your phone, please? I left
mine at home. My car battery's flat.
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
Hello? Hi, it's Alex McCloud.
I broke down in the underground car
park on Stephenson Street.
An hour. OK, brilliant.
Thank you. All right, bye.
So they're gonna be an hour and...
Do you wanna wait here? We can keep
an eye out.
No, no. I'll wait in the car.
I'm sorry, I'm not sure it's gonna
work out tonight.
I'm a bit...
My head's a bit messed up.
I'm sort of breaking up with my
girlfriend.
I moved out. It's still a bit messy.
Well, it's OK
if you wanna have a cry.
No, I'm fine.
I just don't feel particularly...
I mean, don't get me wrong,
I'd love to.
Look, most guys would kill to be on
a sofa with a girl as pretty...as you.
It would probably do me a world of
good to just...
Yeah.
They just called. They won't be here
till two.
They said they're gonna phone when
they're outside.
Something about women priorities or
something.
It's just not good.
Why don't you come and wait inside?
Alex, come on, I don't wanna wait for
a phone call. I've got work in the
morning.
What?
It's just that...
You've ruined my exit.
No, no, that was brilliant.
Yeah, very good exit.
Well, big day tomorrow.
New job, first impressions.
Yeah.
Are you gonna go to bed or are you
just gonna stand there?
Don't worry, I won't touch you.
Well, not unless you pay me.
That's really inappropriate.
Yeah, I'm going to bed.'Night.
Hannah!
Hannah! Did you hear the phone ring?
Oh, God, I feel sick.
I'm ill on my first day!
Hannah, did you hear the phone ring?
I fell asleep.
I think I've got meningitis. Will you
blanch my skin?
You've not got meningitis.
You're tired.
See, this is why we should be
together.
I always think I'm dying.
You always know I'm tired.
And late.
Late, yeah.
Tired and late.
You know me so well.
No, no, you're really late.
Hello?
- Oh, shit.
- Hello?
Hello?
Hannah.
That's perfect, yeah.
OK.
I'll see you in half an hour.
Thank you.Bye.
So here I am all ready.
Alex, can I say something?
Yeah.
You know we're good together?
Yeah.
If I wasn't an escort, would we still
be together?
Yes.
Well, I'm not an escort.
Any more.
Look, I've got a new job.
I'm on my way.
It's gonna take a lot
more than a new job.
It's a start. It's a start, isn't it?
- It's a start.
- Just... OK, see me tonight.
Even if it's to laugh at my cooking
for one last time.
Hannah.
Did you pull the plug
out of the phone?
Only cos I love you.
My problem with the job market is
that I'm used to thinking on my back,
not my feet.
- Piss a lot?
- Sorry?
Do you piss a lot?
We're allowed two toilet breaks -
one in the morning, one in the
afternoon.
No personal calls, no personal
emails, no chatter.
No crying, no whining.
100 of these, A5, collated and
stapled.
No personal emergencies unless it is
a death or serious maiming.
A sick day is a sick day.
Six sick days not validated by a
medical professional
will result
in an official warning.
200, collated, stapled.
Now, has that all gone in there?
Or am I gonna have to draw a little
diagram?
You can count on me.
I love Alex.
Alex...
I love Alex.
I love...
..Alex.
I love Alex.
He loves me.
I love Alex.
I love Alex.
He loves me.
Alex... I love Alex.
He loves me...
Sorry to interrupt, Hannah. I can
see you've got someone with you.
No...
You're not very good at this,
are you?
I thought I was just getting
the hang of it.
No, no, you're not.
So we're gonna have to give you
something a bit easier.
A special task only you can do.
- I've gotta shred all these?
- No, no, no.
- This is just A-C.
- What?
D-Z are in the basement. Here.
Sorry about the big shredder.
It's out of order.
Shred, shred, shred!
I can't do this. I can't do it.
I can't...
I quit.
Another thing she does, right,
in all the years, yeah, it's just
take, take, take.
It is all about her.
She never listens,
impossible to get a word in.
I wanna have a little cheeky one
with you.
Cheers, cheers.
- Ben.
- I'm all right.
You tend your garden, I'll tend
mine. I'm just having a drink.
Hey!
Fine.
No. Thank you.
How was work?
Uneventful. Go on. Take your glass.
No.
I am...
a million miles away from all this
right now.
I thought we were just gonna chat.
Yeah, over dinner. So I thought why
not make a bit of an effort?
When are you gonna admit that
there's 101 things that we need to
sort out before we do this?
- Like what?
- Like promises.
Promises that you're never gonna lie
again, that you'll never see your
old clients.
That you tell me absolutely
everything?
That you're doing this for yourself
and not just for me.
And a promise that you're never,
ever gonna do that again.
I will make every single one of those
promises, and you know I will.
But I'm not gonna let you stand here
and have a go at me
for trying to show you
how much I love you?
And I know this isn't what you want.
But I'm gonna keep on making mistakes
until I do the one thing that makes
you love me again.
It's not working.
- Sorry.
- Give me a minute.
No, don't...don't bother, please...
Hannah, this just...
I can't do this. I can't...
God...
Oh, God. Oh, God...
Oh, God.
(POUNDING HEARTBEAT)
Oh, God, no.
What's wrong?
Nothing. Nothing.Just erm...
- Let me try something else.
- Just fucking lie there.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't. Don't.
- I didn't mean that.
- It's fine.
- I don't know why I said that.
- Yeah, you do.
You think I'm a whore.
No, I don't.
Honestly, I don't.
I'm trying.
It's...I can't really get some things out of my head.
This was too soon.
- Hello?
- "I've been mugged."
"Are you gonna open the fucking
door?"
Yeah, I'll buzz you up. Hang on.
It's Ben. He's been mugged.
He sounds hammered.
- I've been mugged.
- Yeah, I know. You said.
Come on.
What happened?
Did they take your wallet?
No. I was in town
and then I was with some cans.
And they didn't let me back in.
And I lay down and...The next thing I know,
these girls are putting their bag,
fucking trying to steal my cans.
Some girls stole your lagers?
Some girls stole my lager.
What are you doing here?
I live here.
Oh, you live here.
What did you do that for, Ben?
Whoo!
- Is everything all right?
- Yeah, it's fine.
- Can you just give us a minute?
- Yeah, sorry, doctor.
What did you do that for, Ben?
So I don't have to listen to your
boring shit any more.
Me and you are over.
Find someone else to listen to you
moaning.
Him!
What's the matter, Ben?
I broke up with Vanessa.I'm free and single.
And I did a sex on a girl last
night.
Lisa!Very nice.
And I've...
You don't know because you never
talk to me any more.
You're a crap friend.
Sorry.
Why did you break up with Vanessa?
Did you do it over us?
Not everything in the world
is about you.
I broke up Vanessa because...I love her but...
I'm not in love with her.
I love someone else.
Where's my phone? Where's my phone?
You broke it, Breezy.
Hold that for a second.
Are you...
gonna come to bed for a bit?
Just for a little bit.
Just to come to bed...Trousers, yeah?
Er, I think you can keep those on.
- Is he OK?
- Yeah, he's fine.
What's he doing here?
Why is he so drunk?
Because I've been a really crap
friend.
Come to bed.
I'm just gonna stay with him
for a while.
OK.
I thought it was Belle complicating
things.
It turns out it was me all along.
- I'm here to make your day.
- One last job?
- I love you.
- Don't work too hard.
One hour, £5000.
It's not like anyone will know.
She is taking a booking.
9:30 tonight.