Search Party (2016–…): Season 5, Episode 7 - Episode #5.7 - full transcript
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪ ♪
I mean, how did it happen?
She obviously had
unmet needs.
I've known Benny Balthazar
for 12 years.
I could never have imagined
that she would have done
anything like that.
She was boring.
O-okay, I-I need
to come clean.
She was in love with my friend,
Dr. Carpet.
And he was, like,
leading her on.
It's all his fault!
It's this dastardly
workplace environment.
And we have it all on camera.
You see how horrid
this place is.
Scientists bungeeing
to their deaths on a whim
and petite lesbians
poisoning one another!
Okay, you guys really need
to stop gaslighting me on this.
You were literally
holding poison.
You were
[INDISTINCT MOCKING]
You know, there's good
attention and bad attention.
This has quickly become
very bad attention.
I've never been associated with
anything like this in my life.
I hate to say this,
but, Dory Sief,
I'm removing you
from this company.
What?
And I think that you need
to leave the premises
immediately.
Are you serious? You cannot
remove Dory from this company.
Do you even understand what
she knows and what she sees?
Oh, my God, no, you have to
stop believing in her.
She's insane, and anyone
who believes her is insane.
All right, settle down.
Can I get in the circle?
This is all too much,
not my brand.
Wait, Dory,
we can't stop now.
We did it. I know we did it.
It's okay. It's okay.
Dory, please don't make this
more difficult
than it needs to be.
[QUIETLY] There we go.
I'm sorry.
It gives me no pleasure to
have things end this way.
I wish it all
worked out differently.
Yeah.
But Tunnel,
I want to thank you
for the teachings.
Okay.
What are you doing?
Ms. Sief,
did you just lock that door?
This is not the time for games.
Open the door.
I won't be leaving
until the job is done.
What? Hey, don't... what?
Open the door.
Don't walk away from me.
[PURITY RING'S "OBEDEAR"
PLAYING]
♪ Oh, but, dear,
the sky is low ♪
There's you, there's you,
there's me,
and there's a bunch of people
marching with impaled heads.
Is this Brooklyn?
Drew, this is art.
It's actually good.
I think it could be,
like, a classic.
Well, it was totally alive
and in perfect health.
[WHISPERS] Hi.
You're back?
Yes. Ritchie, listen.
I need you to find a way
to make some kind of
lethal weapon out of that lab.
A lethal weapon?
Yeah.
We're not gonna hurt anyone.
It's just to make a point.
Yeah. Okay, I can do that.
All right, act fast.
Go and get your passport.
The plane waits us
at Teterboro.
I've burned it, Mummy,
so that I'd never
have to go back.
What?
Hey, I thought
you were escorted out?
I'm back.
Listen, I need you
to get enough duct tape
to detain three people.
But she's evil!
Sorry, actually four people.
And get some of the others
to help you, all right?
We need to act fast, but make
sure that
nobody gets hurt
in the process.
Okay. Wait, what?
The meditation room
is a good place to hold them.
Okay, okay.
[EXHALES]
[GUNSHOTS]
That's my girl.
That's my girl!
I just imagine
the Sinister Trinity
and, like, just how they think
they can just
hide their entire agenda
from us,
and I just let the rage,
like, flood me.
And that's exactly
why I chose you, Chantal.
Oh, God.
Liquorice, this has truly been
the most,
like, incredible education
of my life.
Like, it actually makes me sick
to think about
how blind I used to be.
Now that you know so much,
why don't you come on full-time
as my official intern?
You're gonna want
to quit your day job.
That's perfect. I don't work.
[CHUCKLES]
24 hours a day, wow.
Does that mean I'm gonna
have to move in with you?
Yeah, probably so,
until you're ready
to truly protect yourself.
[WHIRRING]
[GUNSHOTS]
Dory Sief
and her staff at LYTE,
the controversial
pharmaceutical endeavor
have barricaded themselves
into their workspace
headquarters
in Brooklyn, New York today,
after scientist Benny Balthazar
fell out a window to her death.
Sief has denied access
to the building
and is holding several
innocent bystanders hostage
while her staff
mans the windows
armed with spray bottles
filled with sulfuric acid.
The hostages
have been identified
as the former lover
of Ms. Sief, Drew Gardner,
the Grand Duchess
and Arch Duchess of Bellhead,
Winnifred
and Beatrice Hamsdale,
and a camera man with no family
by the name of Vernon Ankles.
The Hamsdale's were
confronting their daughter
live as part of
a special program
for the British network
Satellite Four
when the event happened.
[GLASS SHATTERS]
[ALL SCREAM]
Sief released
a public statement
across her own social
media platforms earlier today,
outlining her agenda.
We've discovered
a formula for enlightenment,
but they're trying
to shut us down.
So we've decided to take things
into our own hands.
Keep your faith in me,
and stay tuned
'cause soon,
you will get everything
your heart ever wanted.
Let's change the world.
[SIRENS WAILING]
[VILDE'S "WARM MILK" PLAYING]
♪ ♪
There are entrances
here, here, and here,
all of which should be avoided
because a spray-bottle squirt
could reach any of them.
♪ I've met you, city ♪
♪ I've met you, city,
half a million times ♪
Open up! This is insane!
Oh, shut up.
Have you never been
taken hostage before, dimwit?
I guess not,
but I really feel like I have.
[SIGHS]
Oh, we're just all, um,
truly devastated by the loss
of Doctor Benny Balthazar.
Those closest to her knew her,
of course, as somebody
who is dedicated, um,
tremendously to her great work
but also...
somebody who liked a fun party.
You know, she was
very popular amongst men.
She will be missed
by the thousands.
This incident took place
on your watch
and people are discussing
whether or not
you're fit to lead.
What do you have
to say about that?
A good leader, um,
takes risks,
and sometimes those risks
don't turn out
exactly as you'd hope.
But, for right now, I'm working
hand in hand with the FBI,
who, by the way,
doing an absolutely
magnificent job.
And I'm gonna be
donating a fleet
of the new Tunnel XF99 car
to be used by the entirety
of the NYPD because,
well, it's the least
that I can do.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[CROWD CHANTING]
Dory, Dory, Dory, Dory,
Dory, Dory, Dory, Dory, Dory!
[MUFFLED CHANTING CONTINUES]
Hey, everyone.
I just want to take a moment
to acknowledge the courage
that you are all exhibiting
right now
in the face of adversity.
It is truly profound.
And I am so honored
to work beside you
in this critical moment
in history.
So take a look around
because these are the faces
of the people
who are strong enough
to usher in a new era.
Things are going to get rocky,
but you've been preparing
for this fight since day one.
'Cause they might
try to stop us,
but they can never
take away our light!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Oh, my God.
[CHUCKLES]
This is getting out of hand.
This is getting out of hand.
Babe, this is the revolution,
you know what I mean?
We're prepared for this.
We're just in the messy
middle right now.
Hey, Portia,
you sound crazy.
I'm devoted.
Mm-hmm.
You do want the pill, right?
Literally more than anything.
I mean, I just
don't want to be charged
for stowing hostages
at acid-point.
I mean, I guess I can talk
some reason into her,
but she'll probably just lock
me up like her little Drew.
Hey, she probably locked Drew
up for a very good reason.
And I don't know if
it makes you feel better,
but I'm really
not worried at all.
Look, I want
this pill to get made,
but if it doesn't,
I'm not afraid to say
that I was just
following orders.
Would you like me
to talk to her for you?
Mm-mmm.
You're already on thin ice
because you poisoned her.
Look, I don't know
if you heard, but we actually
figured the whole poisoning
conversation out
and I didn't do it.
Like, everyone knows
that I didn't do it.
Like, it wasn't me.
Portia.
It wasn't.
Oh.
Dying for the loo.
I'm sure it's high time
we changed your nappy, Mummy.
Oh, I imagine so.
I don't want to die.
I just want to go out
to get drinks
and hang out
for the rest of my life.
I can't cut that short!
If we make it out of here,
I'm gonna buy you
the biggest margarita
you've ever seen, okay?
Oh.
Help!
Hey, Dory,
I think some of these people
need to pee.
I don't think
that's a possibility.
I think they should
piss themselves.
Are hostages allowed to pee
or should we be
doing something else?
I... I don't know.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hey, Dor, do you want
one of our beautiful snacks?
No, thank you.
[PHONE RINGING]
Beautiful snack?
Dory, Dory!
Oh, Ritchie,
deconstructed PB&J?
No!
I just want to let you know
that we're all set up
to replicate the formula,
but there's a technical issue
with the machine
that we're still working on.
Okay, so how long
is that going to take?
Well, I'm not tech support,
but there is a tutorial online
that I looked at.
I'll try my best?
Okay, just hurry.
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
Also, should I answer that
or should I let it linger?
Answer it.
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hello, this is
LYTE headquarters,
birthplace of the forthcoming
existential revolution.
This is Orange LYTE speaking.
How can I guide you today?
Mm-hmm. Okay.
It's for you.
Hello?
Hello, Ms. Sief,
this is Walter Camp
with the FBI.
We have the building
surrounded, and there's no way
you're going to get out of this
unless you cooperate.
I'm curious.
Are you crazy or just stupid?
What do you want?
Let's be reasonable.
There's no way you can
get out of this, right?
Have you had a look outside?
You should take a peek.
It's a quite a scene.
We have a full militia.
We even have snipers
all for you.
Well, I'm flattered.
Look, come out now,
it won't be that bad on you.
You'll get a year, tops.
And, who knows?
Maybe you can charm the jury,
like last time.
So what do you say?
Do you want to end this
before it gets out of hand?
What's out of hand
is that the human race
has been drowning
in false ideological structure
since the beginning of time.
So what are you going
to do about that?
That's a tough one.
[SNAPS]
I don't know.
Well, I do.
[SYSTEM POWERING DOWN]
Did you forget to pay
your electric bill, Dor?
Please
turn the lights back on.
How are you gonna make your
pills without electricity?
I bet it gets pretty hot
up there without AC, right?
I hear it's supposed
to reach to 101 degrees.
I think I've just
pissed myself.
Oh, it's just sweat.
If you had peed yourself,
you'd jolly-well know it.
I definitely went pee-pee.
[CHUCKLES]
I thought we all agreed
we were just gonna let it go.
What?
So I'm the only one
who peed his pants?
[QUIETLY] Okay, Portia,
can I talk to you for a second?
What did you mean when you said
that you and Dory
were having sex?
[QUIETLY]
I mean, we're girlfriends.
Okay, well I'm pretty sure
she's fucking Drew.
Well, so am I.
[LOUDLY] What?
[QUIETLY] It's just
what it's like to, like,
live this way.
[QUIETLY] So you're all just,
like, fucking each other?
Yeah, but it's also, like,
love too.
I'm sorry, am... am I hideous?
Elliot? Elliot?
Marc?
Elliot?
Oh, my God.
Elliot!
Marc?
Come on, kid.
Tell him what he needs to hear.
Get him to talk some sense
to that girl.
Elliot, baby, it's me,
Marc, your life partner.
I know who you are,
obviously.
What are you doing here?
I'm handling it!
They asked me to come here
and say a few words
to try and get
you all to come out.
But I don't care about that.
I need you all to do
whatever it takes
to make that pill.
Take as long as you need.
What are you doing?
Hold on.
I am staying
at a hotel these days
because I'm scared of our son.
He cut me,
the entire length of my arm.
But I guess that's why
God gave me two arms.
Make that pill, baby,
make a bunch of 'em!
Are you
out of your damn mind?
You are the worst
hostage loved one in history.
Oh, God. Okay.
Hey, Dory.
So we have gotta
make this pill.
What can I do to help?
I don't know, okay?
I'm just... I'm...
I'm trying to figure that out.
Would it help if we had sex?
What? Why would that help?
I mean, you tell me.
Like, if it comes down to that
in any way just let me know,
just 'cause I would hate it
if you ever thought that
I was someone that
you couldn't have sex with.
Okay.
Yeah, thank you
for sharing that.
I'm... yeah.
Moments ago,
the Board of Tunnel Industries
announced that
they're meeting today
to discuss what the future
of the company would look like
if they moved on without you?
Does this mean that
you're going to be replaced?
[CHUCKLES]
No, no. No, that's a formality.
They meet once a week
like that.
You know, we're a family,
and, uh, what family doesn't
discuss ousting the father
on a weekly basis?
You know, everybody knows
there's no Tunnel Industries
without...
Mr. Tunnel.
[DESOLATE MUSIC]
It's hot. Ugh.
♪ ♪
Hi.
How you doin'?
Uh, well, it's really hot,
we're running out
of food and water,
I have to figure out
how to make these pills
without electricity,
and I have to figure out
how to get us all out of here,
so it's a lot on my shoulders.
Totally. Can I talk
to you about something?
Sure.
I promise
that I was not
the one poisoning you.
Truly, I would never lie to you
about something like this.
I love you so much.
You mean so much to me.
I could never, ever, ever
hurt you.
And, if I'm being
completely honest, like,
it actually really hurt me
to think that you could ever
think that I could
honestly ever do something
like that.
I'm sorry, it just...
It really seemed
like you did it,
but I know things
aren't always as they seem.
I believe you.
Will you forgive me?
Okay, I did it.
What?
Oh, Portia!
I'm sorry! I did it!
I swear that I didn't ever
mean to hurt you.
The thing is, like,
I need you
and I need you to need me
and I just could feel you
kind of slipping away
and I just don't know
who I am without you.
Hey, it's okay. It's okay.
Do you forgive me, please?
I feel really bad.
Do you forgive me?
Sure.
Really?
Yeah.
Can we be girlfriends again?
Portia...
Hi. So, guys,
tonight for dinner we have to
have
all the perishable stuff
and then we can
dig into the chips
and all that
jellybean-like stuff.
[GASPS] Wait!
Do we still have gas?
Maybe we could make, like,
enlightenment jellybeans.
[MUSIC]
Is that crazy?
I don't see why
it wouldn't work.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
I'm bursting.
I'm going to burst!
Go ahead and burst.
You didn't burst yet?
I already burst it twice.
No bursting! Guys, come on,
for the love of God!
Let us out!
We have basic human needs.
[GLASS THUDDING]
Come on!
[WHISPERING] They're gonna,
like, break down the glass.
Damn, they're so privileged.
Come on!
Please, we're not gonna
try any bullshit.
I swear to God!
We just want
to use the bathroom.
What's going on?
They're bitching about
using the bathroom.
Dory, please, there are
elderly women in here.
I hope you're
not referring to me.
Oh, of course, of course.
Marty, Winnie,
why don't you just show 'em
where the bathroom is?
What's the big deal?
When I asked...
Never mind, it's fine.
It's inhumane, okay?
Just take 'em to the bathroom.
Thank you.
Okay, no funny business,
all right?
How's it going in here?
Pretty good.
It's a bit of a production,
but we're about ready
to make the beans.
Okay, it smells good.
Would you lean back?
Put the acid down.
That was brilliant.
Oh, oh, thank you.
Of course.
No big deal.
So tell me,
have you ever been
to Bellhead County?
You know, actually,
I haven't.
Mm.
Can you, like, tell me
something about it that,
like, I wouldn't know?
Well, there's hundreds
of thousands of accounts
that Bellhead...
is a portal... to hell!
Oh, my God, right?
[GRUNTS]
[SPRITZER SPRAYS]
[SCREAMS]
He sprayed acid on my arm!
My fucking arm!
Okay, okay. Okay!
On my fucking arm! [SOBS]
Come here, come here.
Here you go, pal.
I'm so sorry, guys.
I thought this was
the closed position, you know?
Stop pointing it at me now.
What happened? What happened?
It was him!
It wasn't my fault!
It wasn't my fault!
They tried to escape
and then
the Grand Duchess came in
and she hit me in the head
with a toilet seat!
I'm a good person, I promise!
I'm just a DJ!
We're just getting word
that it seems that
someone has been injured.
We don't know if it's
a member of the Royal Family
or Drew Gardner
or if it's the other one,
but we can confirm
that one of the hostages
has been sprayed with acid
and could be injured.
[SCREAMING]
I feel literally so bad.
Let me buy you a drink
when this is all over, okay?
It's just pain.
It's not real, okay?
Breathe. Breathe through it.
[PHONE RINGING]
What?
You're losing your grip
on the situation, Dory.
People are getting hurt,
and that's making me look bad.
Why don't we get
on the same page here?
Everything's going
as it should.
Save it, Dory.
You dug yourself a deep hole,
and there's no way out.
Why don't you just give up
while you behind...
You'll need to strip naked
on my stoop
and throw it all
in the neighbor's trash
before coming in.
Hm.
Lies.
[CHUCKLES] Coercion.
Oh.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
What?
It's a letter from myself,
from the future.
[GASPS]
The future?
I've been getting them
ever since I was a little girl.
[GASPS]
Oh, my God, what? What?
It's about you.
Me?
It says that you are
to have a child, a boy.
And that that boy will bring
about the end of the world.
[GASPS]
No!
What?
No!
You mate with a man
named John Halwood.
Oh, Jesus.
This is more than I...
Than I know what to do with!
[BOTH SOBBING]
He needs to go
to the hospital.
I know a third-degree burn
when I see it.
Now, make me in charge of this.
This needs to stop right now,
Dory, all right?
You need to get it together.
Dory, what are you doing?
We don't even know if this pill
that you're making works.
It does. I know it does.
There are moments
in the timeline of humanity
where we've needed to take
a leap of faith to keep going.
This is just
one of those times.
What you're saying
is delusional.
Come on, Dory, you basically
killed your own doctor.
If he killed himself,
and that is true,
then that is absolutely
heartbreaking.
But all I am responsible for
is sharing my own experience.
You need real help,
all right?
You're a danger to yourself
and to others.
What you believe to be reality
is not reality.
You're right, my reality
is different than yours
and most people's,
because most people
are living in an illusion.
I know because I used to live
in that illusion,
but now I see the truth.
And the truth is
that the world is sick,
and it needs medicine, Drew.
That's reality.
Then why are people
getting hurt?
Because people are scared.
'Cause we'd rather be in pain
than find out
who we really are.
Dory...
I'm tapped out.
I know.
No, I don't think
that you do know.
Okay? 'Cause you're everywhere.
You're in my thoughts,
you're in my dreams.
I try to shower you off,
and it doesn't work.
'Cause every single time
I think that I get out,
I look around and I realize
I'm right back in it.
Okay? And it is torture.
[SIGHS]
I can't help you anymore.
You're upset
because you want to be
strong enough to let me go.
You keep thinking that
if she does one more bad thing
then that'll be the proof
I need to know that she's bad.
But there's never enough proof,
is there?
Because I'm not bad
and that's why
you keep coming back to me.
So if you're gonna come back,
then really come back
and really help me.
And, if not,
then you need to leave forever.
Yikes.
That looks, like,
really intense.
I think she's probably
honestly telling Drew
about how she loved me more.
Oh, that sucks for him.
It actually seems like she
might be adding me to the mix.
Nothing official yet
but I can just tell
I've definitely been
in her thoughts, so...
What?
Yeah. One second.
Hey, Dory, sexy gal.
Fuck! [CHUCKLES]
Anyways, so, we are starving,
we are hot,
and we are humiliated,
so we either need to
give up and go home
or we need to figure out
a way to flee.
But right now,
this is not working.
[LINE RINGING]
Okay.
Okay.
Walter?
Yes.
I need a bus.
A classic American school bus
from the early '90s
that can hold my disciples
and a dozen large bags
full of jellybeans.
And then I want a plane
waiting to take me
and my people
to Acapulco, Mexico.
What do you say I trade you
some hostages for our freedom?
It's with great sobriety
that I, Tunnel Aloysius Quinn,
have chosen to step down,
effective immediately,
as the CEO and founder
of Tunnel Industries.
While I've poured
my heart and soul
into building this company,
which started in
my grandmother's basement,
I see now that
the simpler things in life
are what matter most to me,
like watching it rain
or enjoying the silence
of an empty room
or understanding that
I don't matter to anybody.
I'm gonna spend the rest
of my days enjoying meals
and finding out if I have
any children out there.
Thank you so much.
And good luck to us all
in this grand experiment.
Uh, it's so nice out,
I think I'll walk.
Thank you so much.
Oh, my God. You guys made so
much.
I'm truly impressed.
Thank you!
Once we figured out
the jellybeans,
it was go, go, go.
Okay.
So it's time
to put these two together.
Remember,
if they jiggle, they break.
Any of it splashes out
and these chemicals combine,
we're all dead, okay?
Okay.
Okay, everybody,
grab two bags.
Do not spill.
Hostages, you stand together.
And, disciples,
do not dillydally.
Okay, come on, guys.
Let's move, please.
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪ ♪
I've got the target.
Stay close.
Stay close. Get back.
Walter, be careful.
She's got enough
ammonium nitrate on her
to blow your head off.
Stand down! Stand down.
Move.
Got it. Got it.
Okay?
Stop.
Keys to the bus.
There's a plane waiting for you
at a private airport.
Keys first.
Once everyone's on safely,
then I'll let them go.
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪ ♪
Move.
Everybody on.
Stop.
Help my mother!
[ENGINE TURNS OVER]
Why is it stopped?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SCREAMS]
[SINGING FUNKY UPBEAT SONG
IN FRENCH]
♪ ♪
I mean, how did it happen?
She obviously had
unmet needs.
I've known Benny Balthazar
for 12 years.
I could never have imagined
that she would have done
anything like that.
She was boring.
O-okay, I-I need
to come clean.
She was in love with my friend,
Dr. Carpet.
And he was, like,
leading her on.
It's all his fault!
It's this dastardly
workplace environment.
And we have it all on camera.
You see how horrid
this place is.
Scientists bungeeing
to their deaths on a whim
and petite lesbians
poisoning one another!
Okay, you guys really need
to stop gaslighting me on this.
You were literally
holding poison.
You were
[INDISTINCT MOCKING]
You know, there's good
attention and bad attention.
This has quickly become
very bad attention.
I've never been associated with
anything like this in my life.
I hate to say this,
but, Dory Sief,
I'm removing you
from this company.
What?
And I think that you need
to leave the premises
immediately.
Are you serious? You cannot
remove Dory from this company.
Do you even understand what
she knows and what she sees?
Oh, my God, no, you have to
stop believing in her.
She's insane, and anyone
who believes her is insane.
All right, settle down.
Can I get in the circle?
This is all too much,
not my brand.
Wait, Dory,
we can't stop now.
We did it. I know we did it.
It's okay. It's okay.
Dory, please don't make this
more difficult
than it needs to be.
[QUIETLY] There we go.
I'm sorry.
It gives me no pleasure to
have things end this way.
I wish it all
worked out differently.
Yeah.
But Tunnel,
I want to thank you
for the teachings.
Okay.
What are you doing?
Ms. Sief,
did you just lock that door?
This is not the time for games.
Open the door.
I won't be leaving
until the job is done.
What? Hey, don't... what?
Open the door.
Don't walk away from me.
[PURITY RING'S "OBEDEAR"
PLAYING]
♪ Oh, but, dear,
the sky is low ♪
There's you, there's you,
there's me,
and there's a bunch of people
marching with impaled heads.
Is this Brooklyn?
Drew, this is art.
It's actually good.
I think it could be,
like, a classic.
Well, it was totally alive
and in perfect health.
[WHISPERS] Hi.
You're back?
Yes. Ritchie, listen.
I need you to find a way
to make some kind of
lethal weapon out of that lab.
A lethal weapon?
Yeah.
We're not gonna hurt anyone.
It's just to make a point.
Yeah. Okay, I can do that.
All right, act fast.
Go and get your passport.
The plane waits us
at Teterboro.
I've burned it, Mummy,
so that I'd never
have to go back.
What?
Hey, I thought
you were escorted out?
I'm back.
Listen, I need you
to get enough duct tape
to detain three people.
But she's evil!
Sorry, actually four people.
And get some of the others
to help you, all right?
We need to act fast, but make
sure that
nobody gets hurt
in the process.
Okay. Wait, what?
The meditation room
is a good place to hold them.
Okay, okay.
[EXHALES]
[GUNSHOTS]
That's my girl.
That's my girl!
I just imagine
the Sinister Trinity
and, like, just how they think
they can just
hide their entire agenda
from us,
and I just let the rage,
like, flood me.
And that's exactly
why I chose you, Chantal.
Oh, God.
Liquorice, this has truly been
the most,
like, incredible education
of my life.
Like, it actually makes me sick
to think about
how blind I used to be.
Now that you know so much,
why don't you come on full-time
as my official intern?
You're gonna want
to quit your day job.
That's perfect. I don't work.
[CHUCKLES]
24 hours a day, wow.
Does that mean I'm gonna
have to move in with you?
Yeah, probably so,
until you're ready
to truly protect yourself.
[WHIRRING]
[GUNSHOTS]
Dory Sief
and her staff at LYTE,
the controversial
pharmaceutical endeavor
have barricaded themselves
into their workspace
headquarters
in Brooklyn, New York today,
after scientist Benny Balthazar
fell out a window to her death.
Sief has denied access
to the building
and is holding several
innocent bystanders hostage
while her staff
mans the windows
armed with spray bottles
filled with sulfuric acid.
The hostages
have been identified
as the former lover
of Ms. Sief, Drew Gardner,
the Grand Duchess
and Arch Duchess of Bellhead,
Winnifred
and Beatrice Hamsdale,
and a camera man with no family
by the name of Vernon Ankles.
The Hamsdale's were
confronting their daughter
live as part of
a special program
for the British network
Satellite Four
when the event happened.
[GLASS SHATTERS]
[ALL SCREAM]
Sief released
a public statement
across her own social
media platforms earlier today,
outlining her agenda.
We've discovered
a formula for enlightenment,
but they're trying
to shut us down.
So we've decided to take things
into our own hands.
Keep your faith in me,
and stay tuned
'cause soon,
you will get everything
your heart ever wanted.
Let's change the world.
[SIRENS WAILING]
[VILDE'S "WARM MILK" PLAYING]
♪ ♪
There are entrances
here, here, and here,
all of which should be avoided
because a spray-bottle squirt
could reach any of them.
♪ I've met you, city ♪
♪ I've met you, city,
half a million times ♪
Open up! This is insane!
Oh, shut up.
Have you never been
taken hostage before, dimwit?
I guess not,
but I really feel like I have.
[SIGHS]
Oh, we're just all, um,
truly devastated by the loss
of Doctor Benny Balthazar.
Those closest to her knew her,
of course, as somebody
who is dedicated, um,
tremendously to her great work
but also...
somebody who liked a fun party.
You know, she was
very popular amongst men.
She will be missed
by the thousands.
This incident took place
on your watch
and people are discussing
whether or not
you're fit to lead.
What do you have
to say about that?
A good leader, um,
takes risks,
and sometimes those risks
don't turn out
exactly as you'd hope.
But, for right now, I'm working
hand in hand with the FBI,
who, by the way,
doing an absolutely
magnificent job.
And I'm gonna be
donating a fleet
of the new Tunnel XF99 car
to be used by the entirety
of the NYPD because,
well, it's the least
that I can do.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[CROWD CHANTING]
Dory, Dory, Dory, Dory,
Dory, Dory, Dory, Dory, Dory!
[MUFFLED CHANTING CONTINUES]
Hey, everyone.
I just want to take a moment
to acknowledge the courage
that you are all exhibiting
right now
in the face of adversity.
It is truly profound.
And I am so honored
to work beside you
in this critical moment
in history.
So take a look around
because these are the faces
of the people
who are strong enough
to usher in a new era.
Things are going to get rocky,
but you've been preparing
for this fight since day one.
'Cause they might
try to stop us,
but they can never
take away our light!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Oh, my God.
[CHUCKLES]
This is getting out of hand.
This is getting out of hand.
Babe, this is the revolution,
you know what I mean?
We're prepared for this.
We're just in the messy
middle right now.
Hey, Portia,
you sound crazy.
I'm devoted.
Mm-hmm.
You do want the pill, right?
Literally more than anything.
I mean, I just
don't want to be charged
for stowing hostages
at acid-point.
I mean, I guess I can talk
some reason into her,
but she'll probably just lock
me up like her little Drew.
Hey, she probably locked Drew
up for a very good reason.
And I don't know if
it makes you feel better,
but I'm really
not worried at all.
Look, I want
this pill to get made,
but if it doesn't,
I'm not afraid to say
that I was just
following orders.
Would you like me
to talk to her for you?
Mm-mmm.
You're already on thin ice
because you poisoned her.
Look, I don't know
if you heard, but we actually
figured the whole poisoning
conversation out
and I didn't do it.
Like, everyone knows
that I didn't do it.
Like, it wasn't me.
Portia.
It wasn't.
Oh.
Dying for the loo.
I'm sure it's high time
we changed your nappy, Mummy.
Oh, I imagine so.
I don't want to die.
I just want to go out
to get drinks
and hang out
for the rest of my life.
I can't cut that short!
If we make it out of here,
I'm gonna buy you
the biggest margarita
you've ever seen, okay?
Oh.
Help!
Hey, Dory,
I think some of these people
need to pee.
I don't think
that's a possibility.
I think they should
piss themselves.
Are hostages allowed to pee
or should we be
doing something else?
I... I don't know.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hey, Dor, do you want
one of our beautiful snacks?
No, thank you.
[PHONE RINGING]
Beautiful snack?
Dory, Dory!
Oh, Ritchie,
deconstructed PB&J?
No!
I just want to let you know
that we're all set up
to replicate the formula,
but there's a technical issue
with the machine
that we're still working on.
Okay, so how long
is that going to take?
Well, I'm not tech support,
but there is a tutorial online
that I looked at.
I'll try my best?
Okay, just hurry.
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
Also, should I answer that
or should I let it linger?
Answer it.
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hello, this is
LYTE headquarters,
birthplace of the forthcoming
existential revolution.
This is Orange LYTE speaking.
How can I guide you today?
Mm-hmm. Okay.
It's for you.
Hello?
Hello, Ms. Sief,
this is Walter Camp
with the FBI.
We have the building
surrounded, and there's no way
you're going to get out of this
unless you cooperate.
I'm curious.
Are you crazy or just stupid?
What do you want?
Let's be reasonable.
There's no way you can
get out of this, right?
Have you had a look outside?
You should take a peek.
It's a quite a scene.
We have a full militia.
We even have snipers
all for you.
Well, I'm flattered.
Look, come out now,
it won't be that bad on you.
You'll get a year, tops.
And, who knows?
Maybe you can charm the jury,
like last time.
So what do you say?
Do you want to end this
before it gets out of hand?
What's out of hand
is that the human race
has been drowning
in false ideological structure
since the beginning of time.
So what are you going
to do about that?
That's a tough one.
[SNAPS]
I don't know.
Well, I do.
[SYSTEM POWERING DOWN]
Did you forget to pay
your electric bill, Dor?
Please
turn the lights back on.
How are you gonna make your
pills without electricity?
I bet it gets pretty hot
up there without AC, right?
I hear it's supposed
to reach to 101 degrees.
I think I've just
pissed myself.
Oh, it's just sweat.
If you had peed yourself,
you'd jolly-well know it.
I definitely went pee-pee.
[CHUCKLES]
I thought we all agreed
we were just gonna let it go.
What?
So I'm the only one
who peed his pants?
[QUIETLY] Okay, Portia,
can I talk to you for a second?
What did you mean when you said
that you and Dory
were having sex?
[QUIETLY]
I mean, we're girlfriends.
Okay, well I'm pretty sure
she's fucking Drew.
Well, so am I.
[LOUDLY] What?
[QUIETLY] It's just
what it's like to, like,
live this way.
[QUIETLY] So you're all just,
like, fucking each other?
Yeah, but it's also, like,
love too.
I'm sorry, am... am I hideous?
Elliot? Elliot?
Marc?
Elliot?
Oh, my God.
Elliot!
Marc?
Come on, kid.
Tell him what he needs to hear.
Get him to talk some sense
to that girl.
Elliot, baby, it's me,
Marc, your life partner.
I know who you are,
obviously.
What are you doing here?
I'm handling it!
They asked me to come here
and say a few words
to try and get
you all to come out.
But I don't care about that.
I need you all to do
whatever it takes
to make that pill.
Take as long as you need.
What are you doing?
Hold on.
I am staying
at a hotel these days
because I'm scared of our son.
He cut me,
the entire length of my arm.
But I guess that's why
God gave me two arms.
Make that pill, baby,
make a bunch of 'em!
Are you
out of your damn mind?
You are the worst
hostage loved one in history.
Oh, God. Okay.
Hey, Dory.
So we have gotta
make this pill.
What can I do to help?
I don't know, okay?
I'm just... I'm...
I'm trying to figure that out.
Would it help if we had sex?
What? Why would that help?
I mean, you tell me.
Like, if it comes down to that
in any way just let me know,
just 'cause I would hate it
if you ever thought that
I was someone that
you couldn't have sex with.
Okay.
Yeah, thank you
for sharing that.
I'm... yeah.
Moments ago,
the Board of Tunnel Industries
announced that
they're meeting today
to discuss what the future
of the company would look like
if they moved on without you?
Does this mean that
you're going to be replaced?
[CHUCKLES]
No, no. No, that's a formality.
They meet once a week
like that.
You know, we're a family,
and, uh, what family doesn't
discuss ousting the father
on a weekly basis?
You know, everybody knows
there's no Tunnel Industries
without...
Mr. Tunnel.
[DESOLATE MUSIC]
It's hot. Ugh.
♪ ♪
Hi.
How you doin'?
Uh, well, it's really hot,
we're running out
of food and water,
I have to figure out
how to make these pills
without electricity,
and I have to figure out
how to get us all out of here,
so it's a lot on my shoulders.
Totally. Can I talk
to you about something?
Sure.
I promise
that I was not
the one poisoning you.
Truly, I would never lie to you
about something like this.
I love you so much.
You mean so much to me.
I could never, ever, ever
hurt you.
And, if I'm being
completely honest, like,
it actually really hurt me
to think that you could ever
think that I could
honestly ever do something
like that.
I'm sorry, it just...
It really seemed
like you did it,
but I know things
aren't always as they seem.
I believe you.
Will you forgive me?
Okay, I did it.
What?
Oh, Portia!
I'm sorry! I did it!
I swear that I didn't ever
mean to hurt you.
The thing is, like,
I need you
and I need you to need me
and I just could feel you
kind of slipping away
and I just don't know
who I am without you.
Hey, it's okay. It's okay.
Do you forgive me, please?
I feel really bad.
Do you forgive me?
Sure.
Really?
Yeah.
Can we be girlfriends again?
Portia...
Hi. So, guys,
tonight for dinner we have to
have
all the perishable stuff
and then we can
dig into the chips
and all that
jellybean-like stuff.
[GASPS] Wait!
Do we still have gas?
Maybe we could make, like,
enlightenment jellybeans.
[MUSIC]
Is that crazy?
I don't see why
it wouldn't work.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
I'm bursting.
I'm going to burst!
Go ahead and burst.
You didn't burst yet?
I already burst it twice.
No bursting! Guys, come on,
for the love of God!
Let us out!
We have basic human needs.
[GLASS THUDDING]
Come on!
[WHISPERING] They're gonna,
like, break down the glass.
Damn, they're so privileged.
Come on!
Please, we're not gonna
try any bullshit.
I swear to God!
We just want
to use the bathroom.
What's going on?
They're bitching about
using the bathroom.
Dory, please, there are
elderly women in here.
I hope you're
not referring to me.
Oh, of course, of course.
Marty, Winnie,
why don't you just show 'em
where the bathroom is?
What's the big deal?
When I asked...
Never mind, it's fine.
It's inhumane, okay?
Just take 'em to the bathroom.
Thank you.
Okay, no funny business,
all right?
How's it going in here?
Pretty good.
It's a bit of a production,
but we're about ready
to make the beans.
Okay, it smells good.
Would you lean back?
Put the acid down.
That was brilliant.
Oh, oh, thank you.
Of course.
No big deal.
So tell me,
have you ever been
to Bellhead County?
You know, actually,
I haven't.
Mm.
Can you, like, tell me
something about it that,
like, I wouldn't know?
Well, there's hundreds
of thousands of accounts
that Bellhead...
is a portal... to hell!
Oh, my God, right?
[GRUNTS]
[SPRITZER SPRAYS]
[SCREAMS]
He sprayed acid on my arm!
My fucking arm!
Okay, okay. Okay!
On my fucking arm! [SOBS]
Come here, come here.
Here you go, pal.
I'm so sorry, guys.
I thought this was
the closed position, you know?
Stop pointing it at me now.
What happened? What happened?
It was him!
It wasn't my fault!
It wasn't my fault!
They tried to escape
and then
the Grand Duchess came in
and she hit me in the head
with a toilet seat!
I'm a good person, I promise!
I'm just a DJ!
We're just getting word
that it seems that
someone has been injured.
We don't know if it's
a member of the Royal Family
or Drew Gardner
or if it's the other one,
but we can confirm
that one of the hostages
has been sprayed with acid
and could be injured.
[SCREAMING]
I feel literally so bad.
Let me buy you a drink
when this is all over, okay?
It's just pain.
It's not real, okay?
Breathe. Breathe through it.
[PHONE RINGING]
What?
You're losing your grip
on the situation, Dory.
People are getting hurt,
and that's making me look bad.
Why don't we get
on the same page here?
Everything's going
as it should.
Save it, Dory.
You dug yourself a deep hole,
and there's no way out.
Why don't you just give up
while you behind...
You'll need to strip naked
on my stoop
and throw it all
in the neighbor's trash
before coming in.
Hm.
Lies.
[CHUCKLES] Coercion.
Oh.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
What?
It's a letter from myself,
from the future.
[GASPS]
The future?
I've been getting them
ever since I was a little girl.
[GASPS]
Oh, my God, what? What?
It's about you.
Me?
It says that you are
to have a child, a boy.
And that that boy will bring
about the end of the world.
[GASPS]
No!
What?
No!
You mate with a man
named John Halwood.
Oh, Jesus.
This is more than I...
Than I know what to do with!
[BOTH SOBBING]
He needs to go
to the hospital.
I know a third-degree burn
when I see it.
Now, make me in charge of this.
This needs to stop right now,
Dory, all right?
You need to get it together.
Dory, what are you doing?
We don't even know if this pill
that you're making works.
It does. I know it does.
There are moments
in the timeline of humanity
where we've needed to take
a leap of faith to keep going.
This is just
one of those times.
What you're saying
is delusional.
Come on, Dory, you basically
killed your own doctor.
If he killed himself,
and that is true,
then that is absolutely
heartbreaking.
But all I am responsible for
is sharing my own experience.
You need real help,
all right?
You're a danger to yourself
and to others.
What you believe to be reality
is not reality.
You're right, my reality
is different than yours
and most people's,
because most people
are living in an illusion.
I know because I used to live
in that illusion,
but now I see the truth.
And the truth is
that the world is sick,
and it needs medicine, Drew.
That's reality.
Then why are people
getting hurt?
Because people are scared.
'Cause we'd rather be in pain
than find out
who we really are.
Dory...
I'm tapped out.
I know.
No, I don't think
that you do know.
Okay? 'Cause you're everywhere.
You're in my thoughts,
you're in my dreams.
I try to shower you off,
and it doesn't work.
'Cause every single time
I think that I get out,
I look around and I realize
I'm right back in it.
Okay? And it is torture.
[SIGHS]
I can't help you anymore.
You're upset
because you want to be
strong enough to let me go.
You keep thinking that
if she does one more bad thing
then that'll be the proof
I need to know that she's bad.
But there's never enough proof,
is there?
Because I'm not bad
and that's why
you keep coming back to me.
So if you're gonna come back,
then really come back
and really help me.
And, if not,
then you need to leave forever.
Yikes.
That looks, like,
really intense.
I think she's probably
honestly telling Drew
about how she loved me more.
Oh, that sucks for him.
It actually seems like she
might be adding me to the mix.
Nothing official yet
but I can just tell
I've definitely been
in her thoughts, so...
What?
Yeah. One second.
Hey, Dory, sexy gal.
Fuck! [CHUCKLES]
Anyways, so, we are starving,
we are hot,
and we are humiliated,
so we either need to
give up and go home
or we need to figure out
a way to flee.
But right now,
this is not working.
[LINE RINGING]
Okay.
Okay.
Walter?
Yes.
I need a bus.
A classic American school bus
from the early '90s
that can hold my disciples
and a dozen large bags
full of jellybeans.
And then I want a plane
waiting to take me
and my people
to Acapulco, Mexico.
What do you say I trade you
some hostages for our freedom?
It's with great sobriety
that I, Tunnel Aloysius Quinn,
have chosen to step down,
effective immediately,
as the CEO and founder
of Tunnel Industries.
While I've poured
my heart and soul
into building this company,
which started in
my grandmother's basement,
I see now that
the simpler things in life
are what matter most to me,
like watching it rain
or enjoying the silence
of an empty room
or understanding that
I don't matter to anybody.
I'm gonna spend the rest
of my days enjoying meals
and finding out if I have
any children out there.
Thank you so much.
And good luck to us all
in this grand experiment.
Uh, it's so nice out,
I think I'll walk.
Thank you so much.
Oh, my God. You guys made so
much.
I'm truly impressed.
Thank you!
Once we figured out
the jellybeans,
it was go, go, go.
Okay.
So it's time
to put these two together.
Remember,
if they jiggle, they break.
Any of it splashes out
and these chemicals combine,
we're all dead, okay?
Okay.
Okay, everybody,
grab two bags.
Do not spill.
Hostages, you stand together.
And, disciples,
do not dillydally.
Okay, come on, guys.
Let's move, please.
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪ ♪
I've got the target.
Stay close.
Stay close. Get back.
Walter, be careful.
She's got enough
ammonium nitrate on her
to blow your head off.
Stand down! Stand down.
Move.
Got it. Got it.
Okay?
Stop.
Keys to the bus.
There's a plane waiting for you
at a private airport.
Keys first.
Once everyone's on safely,
then I'll let them go.
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪ ♪
Move.
Everybody on.
Stop.
Help my mother!
[ENGINE TURNS OVER]
Why is it stopped?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SCREAMS]
[SINGING FUNKY UPBEAT SONG
IN FRENCH]