Scrubs (2001–2010): Season 1, Episode 7 - My Super Ego - full transcript
J.D. has a nemesis, Dr. Murdoch. Turk lies to Carla about freezing in surgery.
Let's start off with a toughie.
Who can tell me...?
The last few weeks,
an amazing thing has happened.
I've been nailing rounds. I'm starting
to separate myself from the pack.
Sir, the answer is Beck's triad.
It keeps me on top of my game.
Looks like a break in the ulna,
right there.
It's good to be the king.
You know, it's OK to be impressed by me.
Most girls are.
The problem with reaching the top
is, sooner or later,
someone starts nipping at your heels.
For me, that guy was Nick Murdoch.
Well, the gurney adds drama.
So that's the guy
who wants to take me down.
Of course, you'll have a scar, Peter.
You're not getting surgery but chicks
dig scars so l'm gonna give you one.
Doctor, Peter's drug rash
is getting a lot worse.
No problem, give him Prednisone...
Good bedside manner,
good rapport with the nurses,
sees me staring at him...
Act busy.
That's the stud right there.
That's where you'd...
...hang a painting.
He was born John Dorian
but he was simply known as JD:
doctor, friend, lover.
- Hey, man, how are ya?
- Hey, how are you?
OK... There that is.
Gosh, can you believe we're doctors?
The other night at a restaurant
this guy starts choking.
They asked if anyone was a doctor.
l didn't even move.
l still feel like l'm seven years old
playing MASH with my older brother.
l don't want
to be Hot Lips again.
Shut up and kiss Frank.
l don't talk to my brother much.
What you doing?
Don't connect with him.
- Well, l'll see you.
- OK.
What happened to that guy?
Eventually l remembered l was a doctor.
He'd been dead for 20 minutes.
Very embarrassing.
Food was good, though.
Don't laugh. Don't laugh!
Damn!
Any time you wanna get more gauze,
it'd be a real treat for all of us.
- lt's hard being you, isn't it?
- lt is.
- What's with the smile?
- This whole big bad wolf thing,
it's such an act.
Neato!
Now whaddya want? A tip?
Get out. Go, go!
l'm not sure l agree.
- You good T-dog?
- Come on, man.
l could do this with my eyes closed.
- l won't, though.
- Open the peritoneum.
Nice, clean cut. Good.
Good. Whoa, what's that smell?
l don't know.
- Did you nick the colon?
- No.
l mean, l don't know.
l... l don't think so. Did l?
Cut the music.
You know, l kinda
had a date last night.
- Really?
- Yeah.
A guy on the bus fell asleep on me
and drooled on my shoulder.
- You slut.
- Yeah.
- How about Nick?
- l'd let him drool on me.
That's gross. Why did l say that?
l shouldn't talk to people.
l wouldn't know what to do
even if l was interested.
Well, you could start by looking at him.
Did he look back?
Why doesn't he like me?
l can't believe l already blew it.
It felt weird trying to push Nick on
her. This morning I wanted to kill him.
He's so nice,
he probably would've helped me.
Come on, JD, you're not closing the
windpipe. Put more pressure down here.
Come on! l know you can do it!
Come on! Come on!
lf it isn't the brain trust.
Someone tell me
what this patient's rash is.
You have until l finish
my squeezy juice.
My God, I'm drawing a...
I can't remember what you draw
when your mind draws a...
...something.
- lt's Erythema Migrans.
- Why don't you answer it?
Everyone looks up to you. lt's
important you don't get stumped.
Besides, it's important to you, too.
Please, like he knows me.
lt's Erythema Migrans, sir.
Right you are, Dr Dorian.
Nice.
OK, there you go.
Now you've got it. Oh, good.
l don't know
where that smell came from.
- Er, sir?
- What? Do you see something?
Sir, l farted.
That smell is from the fart l made.
- Dude...
- Get the hell out of my OR.
Yes, sir. Good.
Time to put myself
right back on top of Nick.
That came out wrong.
Excuse me, Dr Cox?
l know that you need to pick an intern
to co-write that case report
on post-partum...
Yeah, sure. Congratulations. Now, go.
Mission accomplished.
Hey, buddy. How are ya?
Dr Cox, l was wondering if l could
co-write that case report with you.
Newbie ? Newbie. Too bad it can't be
a fight to the death.
l didn't know you wanted to do it.
You do it.
Nice guys aren't even that nice.
Now let me see, just exactly
who to choose? Who to choose?
Nice. Very nice, indeed.
OK, over.
lnteresting.
Attaboy.
l'm gonna go with...
Guy Smiley, here.
- Huge moment for me.
- l know.
l wish my dad was alive.
It doesn't mean anything.
You flipped a coin in your head?
No. lt's just that, right now, he's
better at internal medicine than you.
OK, insult me, like you always do.
Too easy.
When you least expect it.
Dr Wen threatened
to sew my butt cheeks together.
- Yet you continue to eat chilli.
- Dude, l'm taking the cheese off.
Even though nothing happened today,
it still kinda freaked me out.
One hiccup and that's the difference
between life and death?
lt's a lot to have
on your shoulders, you know?
What are you guys talking about?
Cheese.
Turk is so lucky
l met him first.
How's my man doing?
Baby, most guys are here.
But me, l'm, like,
all up in here.
Dr Turk, you can
make the incision now.
Sir, my hand's tightening up.
- l must be low on potassium.
- All right, l'll take over.
Dr Murdoch, Peter's rash has gone but
he's vomited six times in the last hour.
No problem, give him Zofran and
a 20cc per kilo bolus of normal saline.
Everyone's finally coming around
to my way of thinking about Nick.
You're right, he definitely
has a cute little butt.
lt's almost like
it's been sculpted.
Who cares? Everybody's got
a cute butt. l have a cute butt.
You should bring it in some day.
- How's Turk doing?
- He's fine, why?
He totally froze during surgery
yesterday. Didn't he tell you?
l feel like we haven't talked in ages.
How are you?
- Fine.
- Yeah?
Don't l look OK?
You know?
You know? l'm fine.
As a matter of fact...
I am doin' OK, I am doin' OK
Good afternoon, doctors.
l've gathered you all here
because, well...
Attendance at my noon conferences
has been very disappointing.
l've begun to wonder if maybe
you have something more important to do.
Maybe you feel the need to sneak off
and have a little nappy-nap?
l love nappy-naps.
Or maybe you've forgotten that
my conferences are mandatory.
My hospital, my rules!
l've never missed one.
Batting 1 ,000 over here.
l'm more proud of you than
l've ever been of an intern.
How do you like me now, Nick?
So you see, sir, the poor attendance
is my fault. And my fault only.
Well, then,
you have just won the privilege
of writing my next ten lectures
by this afternoon.
Paging Dr Martyr...
- What the hell was that guy...
- Way to go, man.
Nick, that was amazing.
...thinking?
It's good to be the king.
Things change when
you're not the star any more.
What can l say? The lectures
this kid wrote were fantastic.
The hospital starts to seem
like a whole different place.
Hey, man. Want some company?
No, l just wanna be alone.
- Well?
- Not yet. But soon.
Very soon.
Why would Turk talk to Elliot about this
and not me?
They're not friends,
know what l mean?
After 25 minutes, the only way
l could know what you mean more
is if you wrote ''My boyfriend doesn't
open up to me'' on a mallet
and smashed me
over the head with it.
Why can't you just for once
dig down in your heart,
access some emotions
and empathise with me?
- l'm sorry, what were we doing?
- That's why no one likes you.
You like me a little bit.
And so do you, sweet cakes.
Want a little sugar from Daddy?
Well, looky here.
l thought this was my special place.
l'd ask you not to tell
the others about this spot,
but none of them are talking to you.
lt's been a rough day, sir.
You see, Dr Dorian, your problem is,
you're a pansy.
lf you were in my way,
l'd throw you off this ledge right now.
We're out here alone.
No one would ever know.
l'm gonna...
l'm gonna... l have to...
...things.
lnterns are fun.
l'm single.
That was more subtle in my head.
Relax, l already left a message
on your machine asking you out.
- Really?
- No.
- But l will before you go home.
- Works for me.
Dr Murdoch, Peter's developed
a high-grade fever and a cough.
No problem. Give him
Ceftazidime one gram lV.
- How do you stay positive?
- l don't let the bad stuff in.
Try not to get too overwhelmed.
Call me tonight
when you get my message.
His butt?
So listen, l've scheduled
an appendectomy for you later.
Make sure you're good on potassium.
l got so much potassium,
it's coming out of my assium,
you know what l mean?
What l did was l took
the word potassium and...
l dropped
the first three letters,
made a doody joke.
Funny stuff.
- Looks like he bought it.
- Excuse me?
So you had stage fright. No big deal.
Happened to me once.
Really?
l'd be more than glad to tell you what a
lot of doctors do to relieve the stress.
Take a little trip to Palm-dale.
- What?
- OK.
Give yourself the old low five.
- l'm not getting it.
- Physician...
...love thyself.
You talking about
Downtown Lester Brown?
Lowers the heart rate, releases
endorphins. Basic physiology.
OK, you almost had me.
- You're not serious?
- Yes, l am.
- No, you're not.
- Yes.
No.
Nobody hurts Carla
and gets away with it.
Who's Carla?
l was talking to myself.
Don't eavesdrop.
lf this kid doesn't leave
l'm gonna kill him.
Now, if you leave,
l'll know you were eavesdropping
and l'll go and kill you anyway.
Stay. Good girl.
Tick, tock, Clarice.
Kelso's talk helped me
figure out what I had to do.
Good timing. Give me a hand
with this Foley cath, will you?
Whether or not Nick knew how jealous
and competitive I'd been,
I felt I needed to step up,
lay it out there,
and apologise like a man.
Are we cool?
Yeah.
Besides, even if I was the star
for a little while, he's the man now.
This belongs to you.
Thanks a lot, man.
Can you grab me some tape?
Once you line up behind a strong leader,
everyone picks up their game.
We need the results
of this urine sample.
We began to function
like a well-oiled machine.
Nick, l got the results back
from the...
Nick?
His blood cultures
don't look good at all.
No problem.
Listen, l was thinking about
what happened earlier and...
Anyway... Here.
You dug down in your heart
and came up with a muffin.
That's store-bought.
Blueberries the size of your fist.
l shouldn't have dragged you
into it. You don't know Turk.
Actually, l met him today.
We had a terrific chat.
Give the man a hand,
that's just terrific work.
You know darn well that felt good.
Feeling better about yourself,
aren't you?
Real nice guy.
lt's hard letting yourself be vulnerable
with someone, you know?
Just eat the damn muffin.
Even though l'm on call tonight,
l'm not gonna let the bad stuff in.
Not gonna let myself get overwhelmed.
What?
Friday, when you had people over,
you locked yourself in your room
- because we brought the wrong chips.
- Look at me.
That was the old Elliot.
Help me find Dr Murdoch. Peter's parents
are here, he's not answering his page.
Sure. You know, Elliot's not gonna
let herself be overwhelmed any more.
She's been drinking.
- You look great!
- You're not messing with me?
No, but l'd like to.
Turk bought me this dress out of
the blue. l guess he knew l'd love it.
Look, Carla,
back when l was an intern,
l remember the pressure
being so insane,
that the only way l could get by
was to race home
and although my wife was asleep,
l'd wake her, look her in the eyes,
and then passive-aggressively
torture her
until she packed a bag
and went to her mom's for the week.
Does that...help?
Like a big hug with words.
Just cos a guy
has problems expressing himself,
that doesn't mean
he doesn't need...
...you.
Women so don't get me.
lt's not even funny.
lt's mind-boggling, quite frankly.
The whole thing is stunning.
The point is that
it's the scrubs, right.
Because in jeans, my butt
is a force to be reckoned with.
- We were looking for you.
- Nick, touch my butt, please.
Are you all right?
That kid is eventually gonna die.
Whether it's today or tomorrow.
Or a month from now.
There's nothing l can do. Nothing works.
His parents wanna talk to me.
What am l supposed to say?
Peter lived a good long seven years?
Seven years, man.
lt's not fair.
l hate this place, this job.
- Nick, it's not your fault.
- l can't do it any more.
l'm done. l'm done.
The scariest thing was I thought
he was stronger than all of us.
Maybe it's not about being the best.
Maybe it's about finding little things
that get you through the day.
Whether it's the support
of someone close to you,
or letting yourself feel overwhelmed,
if only for a moment.
Or being selfless every once in a while.
I don't know.
I guess in the end,
it's about surviving,
any way you can.
See you tomorrow.
You're stupid.
- That's it?
- Give it time. lt'll eat at you.
- Am l stupid?
- Yeah, a little bit.
Damn him!
Who can tell me...?
The last few weeks,
an amazing thing has happened.
I've been nailing rounds. I'm starting
to separate myself from the pack.
Sir, the answer is Beck's triad.
It keeps me on top of my game.
Looks like a break in the ulna,
right there.
It's good to be the king.
You know, it's OK to be impressed by me.
Most girls are.
The problem with reaching the top
is, sooner or later,
someone starts nipping at your heels.
For me, that guy was Nick Murdoch.
Well, the gurney adds drama.
So that's the guy
who wants to take me down.
Of course, you'll have a scar, Peter.
You're not getting surgery but chicks
dig scars so l'm gonna give you one.
Doctor, Peter's drug rash
is getting a lot worse.
No problem, give him Prednisone...
Good bedside manner,
good rapport with the nurses,
sees me staring at him...
Act busy.
That's the stud right there.
That's where you'd...
...hang a painting.
He was born John Dorian
but he was simply known as JD:
doctor, friend, lover.
- Hey, man, how are ya?
- Hey, how are you?
OK... There that is.
Gosh, can you believe we're doctors?
The other night at a restaurant
this guy starts choking.
They asked if anyone was a doctor.
l didn't even move.
l still feel like l'm seven years old
playing MASH with my older brother.
l don't want
to be Hot Lips again.
Shut up and kiss Frank.
l don't talk to my brother much.
What you doing?
Don't connect with him.
- Well, l'll see you.
- OK.
What happened to that guy?
Eventually l remembered l was a doctor.
He'd been dead for 20 minutes.
Very embarrassing.
Food was good, though.
Don't laugh. Don't laugh!
Damn!
Any time you wanna get more gauze,
it'd be a real treat for all of us.
- lt's hard being you, isn't it?
- lt is.
- What's with the smile?
- This whole big bad wolf thing,
it's such an act.
Neato!
Now whaddya want? A tip?
Get out. Go, go!
l'm not sure l agree.
- You good T-dog?
- Come on, man.
l could do this with my eyes closed.
- l won't, though.
- Open the peritoneum.
Nice, clean cut. Good.
Good. Whoa, what's that smell?
l don't know.
- Did you nick the colon?
- No.
l mean, l don't know.
l... l don't think so. Did l?
Cut the music.
You know, l kinda
had a date last night.
- Really?
- Yeah.
A guy on the bus fell asleep on me
and drooled on my shoulder.
- You slut.
- Yeah.
- How about Nick?
- l'd let him drool on me.
That's gross. Why did l say that?
l shouldn't talk to people.
l wouldn't know what to do
even if l was interested.
Well, you could start by looking at him.
Did he look back?
Why doesn't he like me?
l can't believe l already blew it.
It felt weird trying to push Nick on
her. This morning I wanted to kill him.
He's so nice,
he probably would've helped me.
Come on, JD, you're not closing the
windpipe. Put more pressure down here.
Come on! l know you can do it!
Come on! Come on!
lf it isn't the brain trust.
Someone tell me
what this patient's rash is.
You have until l finish
my squeezy juice.
My God, I'm drawing a...
I can't remember what you draw
when your mind draws a...
...something.
- lt's Erythema Migrans.
- Why don't you answer it?
Everyone looks up to you. lt's
important you don't get stumped.
Besides, it's important to you, too.
Please, like he knows me.
lt's Erythema Migrans, sir.
Right you are, Dr Dorian.
Nice.
OK, there you go.
Now you've got it. Oh, good.
l don't know
where that smell came from.
- Er, sir?
- What? Do you see something?
Sir, l farted.
That smell is from the fart l made.
- Dude...
- Get the hell out of my OR.
Yes, sir. Good.
Time to put myself
right back on top of Nick.
That came out wrong.
Excuse me, Dr Cox?
l know that you need to pick an intern
to co-write that case report
on post-partum...
Yeah, sure. Congratulations. Now, go.
Mission accomplished.
Hey, buddy. How are ya?
Dr Cox, l was wondering if l could
co-write that case report with you.
Newbie ? Newbie. Too bad it can't be
a fight to the death.
l didn't know you wanted to do it.
You do it.
Nice guys aren't even that nice.
Now let me see, just exactly
who to choose? Who to choose?
Nice. Very nice, indeed.
OK, over.
lnteresting.
Attaboy.
l'm gonna go with...
Guy Smiley, here.
- Huge moment for me.
- l know.
l wish my dad was alive.
It doesn't mean anything.
You flipped a coin in your head?
No. lt's just that, right now, he's
better at internal medicine than you.
OK, insult me, like you always do.
Too easy.
When you least expect it.
Dr Wen threatened
to sew my butt cheeks together.
- Yet you continue to eat chilli.
- Dude, l'm taking the cheese off.
Even though nothing happened today,
it still kinda freaked me out.
One hiccup and that's the difference
between life and death?
lt's a lot to have
on your shoulders, you know?
What are you guys talking about?
Cheese.
Turk is so lucky
l met him first.
How's my man doing?
Baby, most guys are here.
But me, l'm, like,
all up in here.
Dr Turk, you can
make the incision now.
Sir, my hand's tightening up.
- l must be low on potassium.
- All right, l'll take over.
Dr Murdoch, Peter's rash has gone but
he's vomited six times in the last hour.
No problem, give him Zofran and
a 20cc per kilo bolus of normal saline.
Everyone's finally coming around
to my way of thinking about Nick.
You're right, he definitely
has a cute little butt.
lt's almost like
it's been sculpted.
Who cares? Everybody's got
a cute butt. l have a cute butt.
You should bring it in some day.
- How's Turk doing?
- He's fine, why?
He totally froze during surgery
yesterday. Didn't he tell you?
l feel like we haven't talked in ages.
How are you?
- Fine.
- Yeah?
Don't l look OK?
You know?
You know? l'm fine.
As a matter of fact...
I am doin' OK, I am doin' OK
Good afternoon, doctors.
l've gathered you all here
because, well...
Attendance at my noon conferences
has been very disappointing.
l've begun to wonder if maybe
you have something more important to do.
Maybe you feel the need to sneak off
and have a little nappy-nap?
l love nappy-naps.
Or maybe you've forgotten that
my conferences are mandatory.
My hospital, my rules!
l've never missed one.
Batting 1 ,000 over here.
l'm more proud of you than
l've ever been of an intern.
How do you like me now, Nick?
So you see, sir, the poor attendance
is my fault. And my fault only.
Well, then,
you have just won the privilege
of writing my next ten lectures
by this afternoon.
Paging Dr Martyr...
- What the hell was that guy...
- Way to go, man.
Nick, that was amazing.
...thinking?
It's good to be the king.
Things change when
you're not the star any more.
What can l say? The lectures
this kid wrote were fantastic.
The hospital starts to seem
like a whole different place.
Hey, man. Want some company?
No, l just wanna be alone.
- Well?
- Not yet. But soon.
Very soon.
Why would Turk talk to Elliot about this
and not me?
They're not friends,
know what l mean?
After 25 minutes, the only way
l could know what you mean more
is if you wrote ''My boyfriend doesn't
open up to me'' on a mallet
and smashed me
over the head with it.
Why can't you just for once
dig down in your heart,
access some emotions
and empathise with me?
- l'm sorry, what were we doing?
- That's why no one likes you.
You like me a little bit.
And so do you, sweet cakes.
Want a little sugar from Daddy?
Well, looky here.
l thought this was my special place.
l'd ask you not to tell
the others about this spot,
but none of them are talking to you.
lt's been a rough day, sir.
You see, Dr Dorian, your problem is,
you're a pansy.
lf you were in my way,
l'd throw you off this ledge right now.
We're out here alone.
No one would ever know.
l'm gonna...
l'm gonna... l have to...
...things.
lnterns are fun.
l'm single.
That was more subtle in my head.
Relax, l already left a message
on your machine asking you out.
- Really?
- No.
- But l will before you go home.
- Works for me.
Dr Murdoch, Peter's developed
a high-grade fever and a cough.
No problem. Give him
Ceftazidime one gram lV.
- How do you stay positive?
- l don't let the bad stuff in.
Try not to get too overwhelmed.
Call me tonight
when you get my message.
His butt?
So listen, l've scheduled
an appendectomy for you later.
Make sure you're good on potassium.
l got so much potassium,
it's coming out of my assium,
you know what l mean?
What l did was l took
the word potassium and...
l dropped
the first three letters,
made a doody joke.
Funny stuff.
- Looks like he bought it.
- Excuse me?
So you had stage fright. No big deal.
Happened to me once.
Really?
l'd be more than glad to tell you what a
lot of doctors do to relieve the stress.
Take a little trip to Palm-dale.
- What?
- OK.
Give yourself the old low five.
- l'm not getting it.
- Physician...
...love thyself.
You talking about
Downtown Lester Brown?
Lowers the heart rate, releases
endorphins. Basic physiology.
OK, you almost had me.
- You're not serious?
- Yes, l am.
- No, you're not.
- Yes.
No.
Nobody hurts Carla
and gets away with it.
Who's Carla?
l was talking to myself.
Don't eavesdrop.
lf this kid doesn't leave
l'm gonna kill him.
Now, if you leave,
l'll know you were eavesdropping
and l'll go and kill you anyway.
Stay. Good girl.
Tick, tock, Clarice.
Kelso's talk helped me
figure out what I had to do.
Good timing. Give me a hand
with this Foley cath, will you?
Whether or not Nick knew how jealous
and competitive I'd been,
I felt I needed to step up,
lay it out there,
and apologise like a man.
Are we cool?
Yeah.
Besides, even if I was the star
for a little while, he's the man now.
This belongs to you.
Thanks a lot, man.
Can you grab me some tape?
Once you line up behind a strong leader,
everyone picks up their game.
We need the results
of this urine sample.
We began to function
like a well-oiled machine.
Nick, l got the results back
from the...
Nick?
His blood cultures
don't look good at all.
No problem.
Listen, l was thinking about
what happened earlier and...
Anyway... Here.
You dug down in your heart
and came up with a muffin.
That's store-bought.
Blueberries the size of your fist.
l shouldn't have dragged you
into it. You don't know Turk.
Actually, l met him today.
We had a terrific chat.
Give the man a hand,
that's just terrific work.
You know darn well that felt good.
Feeling better about yourself,
aren't you?
Real nice guy.
lt's hard letting yourself be vulnerable
with someone, you know?
Just eat the damn muffin.
Even though l'm on call tonight,
l'm not gonna let the bad stuff in.
Not gonna let myself get overwhelmed.
What?
Friday, when you had people over,
you locked yourself in your room
- because we brought the wrong chips.
- Look at me.
That was the old Elliot.
Help me find Dr Murdoch. Peter's parents
are here, he's not answering his page.
Sure. You know, Elliot's not gonna
let herself be overwhelmed any more.
She's been drinking.
- You look great!
- You're not messing with me?
No, but l'd like to.
Turk bought me this dress out of
the blue. l guess he knew l'd love it.
Look, Carla,
back when l was an intern,
l remember the pressure
being so insane,
that the only way l could get by
was to race home
and although my wife was asleep,
l'd wake her, look her in the eyes,
and then passive-aggressively
torture her
until she packed a bag
and went to her mom's for the week.
Does that...help?
Like a big hug with words.
Just cos a guy
has problems expressing himself,
that doesn't mean
he doesn't need...
...you.
Women so don't get me.
lt's not even funny.
lt's mind-boggling, quite frankly.
The whole thing is stunning.
The point is that
it's the scrubs, right.
Because in jeans, my butt
is a force to be reckoned with.
- We were looking for you.
- Nick, touch my butt, please.
Are you all right?
That kid is eventually gonna die.
Whether it's today or tomorrow.
Or a month from now.
There's nothing l can do. Nothing works.
His parents wanna talk to me.
What am l supposed to say?
Peter lived a good long seven years?
Seven years, man.
lt's not fair.
l hate this place, this job.
- Nick, it's not your fault.
- l can't do it any more.
l'm done. l'm done.
The scariest thing was I thought
he was stronger than all of us.
Maybe it's not about being the best.
Maybe it's about finding little things
that get you through the day.
Whether it's the support
of someone close to you,
or letting yourself feel overwhelmed,
if only for a moment.
Or being selfless every once in a while.
I don't know.
I guess in the end,
it's about surviving,
any way you can.
See you tomorrow.
You're stupid.
- That's it?
- Give it time. lt'll eat at you.
- Am l stupid?
- Yeah, a little bit.
Damn him!