Screenplay (1986–1993): Season 2, Episode 11 - Christine - full transcript

Depiction of the everyday life of a teenage heroin addict.

-Morning, Chris.

There's just been
a car accident outside Tabors.

Anyone hurt?

No, I don't think so.

Some of her stuff up there,
if you wanna try it on.

When do they get back?

Sunday night.

He's got three suits up here.
And a pair of brogues.

Any 50's in there?

It's costing me a bloody
fortune staying here.

Everything's on the meter.

Your sister and, urm...
Oh, what's 'is name?

They've done this place up nice, really,
'in't they?

Be even better if he didn't spend
all his money on clothes.

You know Jessie, right?


She said her old man told her
not to see you during the holiday.


Jess said she weren't to hang around.

He thinks I'm giving her one.

-Are ya?
-Oh, very funny.

-Where's the cat, then?
-Gone shopping.

All right?

Is Ivy going back to school next term?

Her brother said
they might be moving to Bath.

Have you seen her lately?

Yeah, I saw her last week
on the bus with her mum.

I'll miss her if she does move.
Wouldn't you?

I don't think they'll move.

...think twice before crossing
the bows of the Golden Lolly again.

'Tis a fair wind, me follies.
Set course northeast by channel.

Hold! steady as she goes!
And a tonne of ice cream for everyone!

The Scurvy Scullers Crew
are the scum of the Seven Seas.

Feared by all!

You all right?


I'm going to go upstairs and have a kip
before me mum gets back.

How's Eddie?

Oh, he's all right.

He's staying at his sister's flat for a
week while they've gone away on holiday.

He should have a party or something,
if his old man's not about.

You should tell him to have one,
it'd be a laugh.

How long is his sister away for?

A week, I think.
They come back on Sunday night.

-Are you all right?

I'd better be going now.

Go and get me blazer from the chair
in Steve's room, will ya?

This is last week's and this week's.

See you tomorrow, then, right?

Yeah, thanks for coming round.

-All right. Bye, Ben.


Come and have a look
at what they've done up here.


-What do you make of it?
-Quite good, innit?

They started it last August.

Not bad, eh?

I thought that were quite good, really.

Yeah, it ain't bad.


Ben thinks you should have a party.

Oh, I don't know. Have lots of people
here and something gets stolen,

she'll blame me.

You don't have to have
lots of people in here, do ya?

Would you help me clear up afterwards?

Well, it'd only be you, me,
Ben, Eric and Jess.

It's only five people.
It's not that many, is it?

Anyway, I can't play the stereo.

She took the needle out and hid it.

...crossing the Atlantic.

He might have spent his time spotting
the different types of ships

bobbing their way across
that mighty ocean.

That ship down there
isn't making much headway.

Ooh, I'd better take a closer look.
It could be in trouble.

Hello, Mum.

Let's get that done.

I have to put some stuff in the freezer.

Thank you, honey.

This seas
getting very angry!

How are you? All right?

All right, David?

We'll have to act quickly.
We're sinking fast!

Hello, Control?



-Who is it?
-It's Eric.

Oh, go round the back.

Come up here.

-Do you want some of this?
-No thanks.

I just called round your house

and your old man said
you were staying here for a bit.

Till Sunday.

-You been doing much?
-No, not really.

Is your sister married?

Yeah, she's got two girls
and a little boy.

-Do they own it?
-What, the boy?

No, the flat. Div.

Yeah, they been here
about three years now.

Yeah, it's all right, really.

-You don't smoke, do you?
-No, but I've got some.

Here, can I stick one of these
records on?

No, it's not working.

Before they went away,
she took the needle out and hid it.

Knowing her,
she probably took it with her.

Who goes there?

Oh, it's me, Henry's Cat,
come to joust.

Joust a minute
and I'll open the door, ha-ha-ha-ha!


What party?

You were the one who said
it'd be a good idea.

You know, Eddie's party.

It's on Friday night,
about eight o'clock.

-Who's going?
-Oh, just us lot.

I don't know where his sister's is.

Oh, don't worry, I'll call for you.

He's only staying
two roads down from his parents'.

If we're going, we gotta get some
stuff ready.

-His sister ain't got any good records.
-Don't look at me.

You're not having any of mine,
they cost me a fortune.

Cost five-and-a-half quid each.

Yeah, I do know how much records cost.

Anyway, if you're there,
what could happen to 'em?

Right, see you tomorrow, then.

Yeah, bye.

Eddie, you up?

Yeah, I'll be down in a minute.

Eric came round yesterday.

He's got a job in a hotel in Torquay.

-When's he going?
-Should have gone by now.

-He was going this morning.
-On his own?

No, with Derek and Claire.

Come back the first,
second week of September.

She does have a cat,
your sister, doesn't she?

She's not having you on or anything?

Should be
around here somewhere.

-Did you get the records off Ben?

You were going to get some records
off Ben for the party.

Thought you weren't that bothered.

I told you it was all right on Saturday.

You were going to ask Ben
and get some records off him.

Yeah, but I didn't think
you were that bothered.

I think you said Friday, didn't you?
Not Saturday.

I said Saturday.
I should know what I said.

Anyway, I've asked Graham round now
and he's coming on Saturday.

Yeah, but you never said anything
about Saturday, you said Friday.

Well, let's decide now, then.
Saturday, here, at eight o'clock.

Definitely Saturday.

And you tell the others
and get some records off Ben.

-All right.

-Did he hit you?

No, he didn't hit me.
He wouldn't hit me.

He just told me to get out
and come back when I weren't so stupid.

Yeah, but he can't have
thrown you out for no reason.

Your dad's not like that.

-What about your mum?
-She was great.

As soon as I left, she came running down
the street after me and gave me her key.

Then they started arguing.

I feel really sorry for my mum.

Eddie's having a party Friday night.

Better give me
Eddie's new address before you leave.

Yes, well, er.
I'd better test it, I suppose.

Oh! Wooaah!

Phew, dear me!

Womble Fool's Day!

Yeah, Womble Fool's Day.
I don't get it...

Very funny, I'm sure.

Er, I wonder, if anybody has tidied up
a copy of The Times.

I must have my...
Yes, come in.

Erm, good morning,
Great Uncle Bulgaria.

We've brought you
a copy of The Times.

Oh, excellent!
I'm very grateful, thank you...

Good heavens, it's all sticky.

I do wish people wouldn't have jam
with their Times.

I can't seem
to turn the pages properly.

We always knew you were glued
to The Times, Great Uncle Bulgaria.

What? What?

What do you mean,
“Glued to The Times“?

A Womble Fool's Day!



Womble Fools Day!

That's what they've done!

Are you all right?


-Where are you gonna stay tonight, then?
-I ain't going back there, am I?

So where are you gonna stay
tonight, then?

Oh, look, Chris, don't worry about me.
Look, I'm all right.

I'll see you Saturday at about eight.
And try and get Eric along.

I can't. He's got a job now
and gone away.

Has he?


Your dad don't know, does he?

Look, Chris, don't worry.

It's all right, it's Chris.

What did you come here now for?

Me dad's taking me out.

You should've been here this morning.

I had to go round Eddie's.

Anyway, I did come round here,
about ten o'clock.

No, you didn't. Where you been?

I told you, I had to go round Eddie's!

Did you bring anything with ya?

Came round this morning
and no one answered.

You can get it tonight, can't you?

I can't, me dad's taking me out.

Can I have the records, then?

You scratch these and I'll kill ya.

Whatever me dad says,
tell Eddie I'll be there.

I'll see you later.



Hang on, I'll be down in a minute.

Why did you lock it?

He said to lock up.

You got the records, great.
And I found the needle for the stereo.

-Shall I put one on?
-Yeah, if you want.

Graham's coming over later.

Oh, what time?

He didn't say.
Just said he'd be along.

-Down in a minute.
-All right.

...he found to his surprise
that his friend had put the shutters up.

Then, he'd just got over that shock
when he had yet another one.


It was all very unexpected
and he couldn't make head or tail of it.

"Don't worry, Mr Brown,“
came Mr Gruber's voice,

“We didn't mean to alarm you.

"It's such nice weather,
I thought I would take a day off.

“I'm taking you all on an outing
to the Tower of London.

"We're going to see the Crown Jewels.
And the Beefeaters.

"They're really Yeoman Warders, but
I understand they are called Beefeaters

"because in the old days,
they used to taste all the royal food

“to make sure it was safe.“

He licked ms lips
and considered the matter.

"I think seeing a Beefeater sounds
even nicer than having elevenses."

Ah, shit!

-What happened?
-Missed the poxy vein!

That's a few quid's worth
down the drain.

"Would you like one of my
marmalade sandwiches?" he asked,

"I expect it'll make a nice change
to beef."

-You all right?

What's the time?


It's about half-past.


He didn't like the way
things were going at all.

"I think I shall go for my elevenses,

"outside the Tower."

He felt sure that if the ravens
had had their wings clipped,

they wouldn't be able to follow him.

But he was wrong,
for as he came through the arch,

the Beefeater called out to him,

"Where do you think you're going
with our ravens, young fella-me-bear?

“Look, they're all following you.
We can't have that

“and risk having the place fall down!

"I'm afraid you'll have to stay here
until we've decided what's best."

Gosh! Fancy Paddington
being sent to the Tower.

"Wait a minute. Do you know
what I think the trouble is?

"I think they're after young Mr Brown's
marmalade sandwiches."

And sure enough, after Paddington
had given the birds his sandwiches,

they stayed happily where they were.

"Well," said the Beefeater,

"I never knew ravens
liked marmalade sandwiches.

“I think perhaps you'd better
leave us your address,

"then if any of our birds get lost,
we can send for you."

"I think, " said Paddington,
"if I'm to be a marmalade eater,

“I'd better start work now.

“Just to make sure.“