Screen Two (1985–2002): Season 10, Episode 1 - Genghis Cohn - full transcript
A former SS officer is haunted by the ghost of a man he murdered during WWII.
[mellow music]
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* Please let me explain *
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* Means your grand *
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* Again I'll explain *
* It means you're the
fairest in the land *
* I could say bella, bella,
even sehr wunderbar *
* Each language only helps me
tell you how grand you are *
* I've tried to explain *
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* So kiss me and
say you understand *
So could you tell us
Herr Hitler, Herr Hitler?
Sorry, could you tell us your
plans for the new Germany.
Aye, aye aye, am I
going to make her great.
Good, good, good and could
you tell us a little bit
about how?
If I told you how, every
country could do it.
Ask me something else.
Well, is it true that
you love animals?
Herr Hitler.
Animals, people, I'm
crazy about them.
But we've heard that you're
not that keen on Jews.
Jews, I love 'em.
They're great around the house
and they're terrific
with figures
and everyone should have one.
So would you let your daughter
marry one, Herr Hitler?
[Hitler screeching]
[Hitler speaking German]
[audience laughing]
Listen, listen, no, listen.
You know why Hitler
doesn't like the Jews?
It is because they are
small and they all talk
and they talk too loud,
and, and, and they just
gesticulate too much.
Yes, they are small,
and they all talk,
and they gesticulate too much.
[music continues]
[victim groaning]
Give, give me a B.
[piano plays]
No, give me a B flat.
[piano plays]
No, okay, I'll take the
B and flatten it myself.
* I've tried to explain *
* By mir bist du schon *
* So kiss me and
say you understand *
Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.
Well, that's it.
No it isn't.
I have one last
question to ask you,
how do you kill a
Jewish comedian?
Hmm, well, it's the same way
as you kill any comedian,
you don't laugh at his jokes.
[rimshot crashing]
No but listen,
when the comedian's act
hasn't worked, he says I died.
Well I died.
I died in some of the
classiest places in Europe,
but in the end,
in the end, I finally died in.
[baby crying]
[birds chirping]
Go!
Ready!
[guns cock]
[Nazi Guard] Aim!
[speaking German]
Fire!
[gunfire]
[water splashes]
[upbeat music]
[audience applauds]
Now, I would like you all
to welcome our distinguished
guest, Hans-Dieter Pohl,
Minister of the Interior.
[audience applauds]
I'm honoured to be here today
to help you dedicate
these beautiful windows.
The final touch to
this civic centre,
with it's wonderful facilities.
It's pool, it's library, it's
cinema, it's meeting hall,
all under one roof.
And now perhaps I could
draw your attention
to a season of American
musicals in the cinema.
I, myself I'm particularly
looking forward
to the showing of
"Annie and Her Gun."
Like so many of the towns
and villages in our state,
you have through your own
diligence and hard work,
rebuilt our fine cultural
and architectural heritage.
May we all continue to enjoy
it, in peace and prosperity.
And now, perhaps I could call
upon Baroness von Stangel
to unveil the plaque.
[audience applauds]
[flashbulb bursts]
[traditional music]
Ah, Frau Koch, till tomorrow.
A resignation?
Alas, no, a dental appointment.
Oh really.
[crowd chattering]
Ah, Frau Kellner
Schatz, let me introduce you.
Herr Minister, may I introduce
our Commissioner of Police,
Otto Schatz.
Pleased to meet you.
Your mayor's been boasting
you have the lowest crime rate
in the state.
Yes, 45% Less crime
against property than
in Munich itself.
Remarkable Herr Commissioner.
We should transfer you
to Munich, immediately.
[crowd chattering]
[music continues]
Don't you think they
should open our new cinema
with a German film and
not some American rubbish,
"Annie Get Your Gun"?
My very thoughts, Baroness.
I prefer Wagner.
I'm having some people back
to my house after this.
Would you care to come?
I'd be delighted.
Lovely.
So no one else is coming.
We don't see enough of each
other, Herr Commissioner.
Well, perhaps if you were to
commit some crimes Baroness.
Please call me Frieda.
Otto.
Seems a pity that
on such an occasion,
men no longer wear medals.
Indeed.
I'm sure you must have many.
A few.
Where were you?
Poland.
Oh.
Then Holland.
Belgium.
Then France.
Oh, those were exciting days.
Yes.
Then the Eastern
front, not so exciting.
You had a bad time.
My husband was killed
there, near Bialystok.
I am sorry.
Oh, don't be, it
was 13 years ago.
Were you ever married?
Yes.
She was killed in a British
air raid on Hamburg.
Oh, dead.
I would like to show you a
photograph of my husband.
I would like to see it.
It is upstairs.
Come.
[military music]
The best were taken.
I was also in the SS,
Sturmbannfuhrer.
And they let you
join the police?
My records were destroyed.
I told the American
denazification court.
I was a private
in the wehrmacht.
I joined the police in 48.
And you became commissioner
in less than 10 years.
I work hard
at everything.
No, not yet.
First, please go
to the wardrobe.
No, please do this for me first.
Open it.
Enter.
Part them.
Go beyond.
Open the doors.
It was Manfred's.
Put it on.
It was made in Oberbruch
after the occupation of Paris.
Oh, what a time we had there.
Then he was with the first
division that went into Russia.
He won it, leading his men
in the attack on Vitemsk.
What size are you?
Size?
[Frieda] Your feet.
44.
The boots are 45, put them on.
[military music continues]
Oh!
No!
What?
There!
Where?
There.
What's the matter?
You look as though
you've seen a ghost.
There!
What?
I'm not very well.
[suspenseful music]
[bell rings]
[loud footsteps]
[door slams]
Is there anyone there?
It's all right, Frau Langer,
it's only me.
Oh, Herr Commissioner.
Your dinner's ready
when you want it.
I've prepared the sausages
just the way you like them.
Good, thank you.
Thank you.
[door slams]
[Otto breathing heavily]
Sieg heil!
Who are you?
I give you a clue, tokhes.
[foreign language]
I knew you'd remember.
What do you want?
First take off
that uniform, now!
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
You knew it was Yiddish,
but you didn't
know what it meant.
You went around the camp asking.
What a, what does this
mean, this [Yiddish phrase].
Then Pinkas Adelman,
[speaking foreign language].
Pinkas Adelman, he looked
you straight in the eye
and he says, "Kiss my ass."
Poor Adelman.
So, go put something on.
You wanna catch cold.
You need another drink.
Who are you?
You couldn't get
over my chutzpah,
so you went to the camp files.
This is the camp files.
No it isn't, this
is the camp files
and you found out who I was.
Genghis Cohn.
You still remember.
Oh, no, I'm touched.
No, seriously.
I mean, how many people
did you kill in that camp?
A thousand, a hundred thousand
nameless, faceless people,
but once you can put
a name to a face,
now that is something
different, right?
Why now?
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, you
just became a Nazi again,
with the full uniform,
the Iron Cross and
the hmm and the ha
and the full shtick, and
you asked me why now?
Now okay.
I'm sorry I stopped you
having the best lay in Lischt.
A widow with a million
Deutsche Marks.
A baroness [foreign word].
But what was, what
was all that crap
about the Eastern front.
They gave you a bad time.
Hmm?
You were busy killing
people a hundred kilometres
up the road at Dachau.
How do you know all this?
Oh since that
memorable day Schatzen,
I've always been a part of you.
Haven't I?
What do you want?
Chopped liver sandwich, pickled
cucumber, and lemon tea,
no sugar.
What?
Okay, tomorrow.
[whimsical music]
[telephone ringing]
Good morning, Herr Commissioner.
The reception went
well yesterday.
Yes, fine.
Fine.
So, what's in this morning?
Nothing much.
Spotter bothering the.
Oh what?
Someone in Gestapo uniform
ran through the square.
Gestapo officer.
What, here?
They ran from the Baroness
von Stangel's house
across the square and
disappeared at Ludwig Strasse.
Has the Baroness
lodged a complaint.
[Guth] No.
Well, who are these
mindless drunks
that see Gestapo Officers
running around the town.
Dr. Browner, Herr Kellner,
the mayor, and Frau Meisner.
Let me see.
They say he bore a
resemblance to me.
Ridiculous, isn't it?
[Schatz] Why would
they say such a thing?
I'll investigate immediately.
Oh no, oh no, not here.
Where then, Herr Commissioner?
What, where what?
Where shall I
investigate if not here?
Yes, right?
No, leave it for the time being.
An hallucination,
that's what it is, good.
Three people, independently
having the same hallucination.
Three people?
[Guth] They even noticed
his flyers were undone.
Get out.
I'll deal with this.
You wanna watch that young man.
He's after your job.
Cohn, please, not here.
Not in the office, please.
What have I?
What have you ever done to me?
Oh, that is a
great line, Schatz.
That is beautiful.
Cohn, please.
What do you want?
Now, a chopped liver sandwich.
A little more chicken fat
A little more chicken fat.
No, no, no more onion.
Inga, have you
seen my big knives.
[Inga] No.
I can't find them anywhere.
I'll look in a minute.
Could you chop it
a little finer.
[Inga] Where did you learn
all this, Herr Commissioner.
In Poland.
I served there.
[bell rings]
Oh no.
Herr Heller.
[heels click]
Dr. Brown.
With a good sandwich,
you need a good book.
Herr Commissioner.
What's a pleasant surprise.
I need a book.
Of course.
If you give me the title and
author I'll find it for you.
Diary of Anne Frank.
Do you know who the author
is Herr Commissioner.
Anne Frank, you schmuck.
Anne Frank, you schmuck.
[rimshot crashes]
May I ask you,
have you kept any of your
late husband's uniforms?
No.
None of his insignia.
My husband won the iron cross.
It is in the safe
with the rest of my
most valued possessions.
Anything else?
No.
Thank you Baroness.
You'd be most helpful.
[foot steps echo]
I'm sorry to have troubled you.
It was no trouble.
A good citizen should
always help the police.
What are you doing here?
There were more reports.
The lieutenant has
been most punctilious.
The photographs you promised me.
Yes.
[Frieda] Ilsa!
Did you tell him anything?
Of course not.
You were most
peculiar last night.
What happened?
I'm terribly sorry.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
It was something that
happened to me, a trauma.
Trauma?
Yes.
During the war, in Warsaw.
I was with a girl,
you know, like that.
And there was an explosion
and she was killed.
I survived.
I'm sorry.
What schmaltz!
You were never in Warsaw.
You were too busy killing Jews.
Jews, Jews, everything is Jews.
Calm down, Otto.
There aren't any Jews here.
Not anymore.
Please, leave me alone.
Stop kvetching, Schatz.
Stop it.
Damn you, damn you, damn you.
You spoiled everything.
Spoiled, please, I saved you!
She wasn't right
for your Schatzen,
she's too dominating,
And her husband was
probably delighted
to go fight the
Russians instead of.
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Okay.
Well,
Guth, who is it?
Dr. Burkhart, the dentist.
Oh my God.
[flashbulb bursts]
Have the whole area searched.
It's being done, sir.
I can, I can see.
I'll take you back to the mall.
We'll finish off there.
The position is extraordinary.
And the smile on the face.
There's only one thing missing.
What, what's that?
The woman who was underneath.
Killed between six
and eight last night.
Butcher's knife entered between
the sixth and seventh rib,
crossing the medial
aspect of the left lung,
piercing the pericardium
and entering the left
ventricle of the heart.
Whoever he was, knew
exactly what he was doing.
And Heller reported his
knives missing yesterday.
I was there when he
first couldn't find them.
In the shop?
Yes.
I was buying some meat.
Any fingerprints on the knife?
Only Heller's.
Well, there were bound to
be on it, weren't they?
The killer probably wore gloves.
Or Heller did it himself
and faked the theft.
What about the smile?
Oh, perfectly explicable.
The killer chose his
moment very carefully.
I've never seen such delight
on the face of the corpse.
[Hubsch laughing]
What's so funny, Hubsch?
At least he went
out with a bang.
[men laughing]
I'm glad you all
find murder so funny.
Why hasn't the
woman come forward?
What, do you think he
went into the woods
to make love to his own wife?
Whoever she was, she
must've seen the murderer.
Under the circumstance, she
might've had her eyes shut.
Oh, God.
What's the matter.
Under the circumstances, she
might've had her eyes shut.
Not bad.
Could be a bit more throwaway.
Get out, get out,
get out, get out.
Get out, let's all get out.
Shouldn't be too
hard to find out
who Burkhardt's mistress was.
[telephone ringing]
[typewriter clacking]
[inquisitive music]
The whole town is going
crazy about the murder
and our Commissioner
wants more chopped liver
[bell dings]
[knocking on door]
Enter.
Ah, Frau Heller, how
good of you to come
and so quickly.
That'll be all Sergeant.
Would you care for a cup?
No, thank you.
I must get back.
Oh please stay for a minute.
You might be able to help me.
In your shop, you probably
hear more than I do.
What are the people
saying about the murder?
Please, have a cup.
Uh, black or white?
Black, please.
So, what are they saying?
That it's the work of a man.
Or a very jealous man?
We know the woman with him
was someone else's wife.
I knew Dr. Burkhardt.
Good man, good dentist.
I'm just saw him, two weeks ago.
Was he your dentist?
When did you last visit him?
It was me.
I was with him.
I was there.
Heller.
Did you see who it was?
No.
I had my eyes shut.
That's it.
Checkmate, it's him,
it's the butcher.
He's got the motive.
It's his knife.
No, we were both there
when he said the
knives were missing.
An alibi, Schatz, an alibi.
He's a smart butcher.
[whimsical music]
Ah, Schatz, this murder is
having a terrible effect.
My surgeries have doubled.
What's wrong with people?
Oh, they're no longer
having sexual relations.
[Townsperson] Well,
what are you going
to do about it, Schatz?
What am I supposed
to do about it?
People are too scared to schtup.
Schtup?
Slang, slang, sorry.
You know, having sex.
What am I supposed to do?
Catch the killer.
[telephone ringing]
Yes.
Put him through at once.
Hello sir.
Yes, I know.
Yes, it's most regrettable
about the press.
I'm doing all I can.
Tell him.
In fact, sir, I'm,
I'm, I'm very close
to making an arrest.
Oh really?
Thank you.
You're most kind, sir.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
I shouldn't have said that.
It's too early.
Is he off the phone yet?
Yes.
Well then who's he arguing with?
Maybe this is all
too much for him.
I'm worried.
I know who the murderer is.
Heller the butcher.
[crowd shouting]
What's the meaning of this?
Lieutenant Guth read
you the charges.
You're all crazy.
I think it would be much
easier, Herr Heller,
if you cooperated with us.
Oh, you mean you'd
like a confession
because you've got no evidence.
We know Dr. Burkhardt
was your wife's lover.
So, try another surprise.
Of course you knew,
that's why you killed him.
If I killed everyone in Lischt
who slept with my wife this
town would be decimated.
Was your knife.
You were there when I discovered
that my knives had been stolen.
[Schatz] A clever trick.
Oh, so you find them then.
Nobody will believe you
haven't conveniently
got rid of them.
One of them in Dr. Burkhardt.
And my wife saw the killer, me?
You were very careful
not to be seen.
So where's your proof?
Your knife, your wife.
I can prove that I
couldn't give a damn
who that whore slept with.
I was going to
divorce her anyway.
Now I might just
kill her instead.
[woman moaning]
Hans, Hans,
Hans, we go now.
[woman screaming]
[mysterious music]
[flashbulb bursts]
Oh God.
Same smile.
You're free to go now.
Commissioner Shithead
changed his mind, eh?
He had to.
There's been another murder.
One of your knives again.
Anyone we know?
Hans Schumberg, the architect.
There was a woman.
Frau Kellner, the mayor's wife.
That's gonna be some scandal.
Sorry, Otto.
Frau Kellner.
Frau Kellner, I'm
sorry to disturb you,
but you may be able to
save someone else's life.
Did you see who it was?
Can you tell us
anything you saw?
Anything?
Dark shape.
A face?
A bit of a face?
A moustache?
The colour of his hair?
A dark shape.
Oh, Hans!
I'm being made to
look a fool, an idiot.
Who stole Heller's knives?
Who's using them?
Who?
I'm Watson, remember,
you're Holmes.
L'chaim.
You're drinking too
much, ya know that?
I mean, shouldn't you
leave just a little bit
for the guests.
You know, a tiny, tiny bit.
I mean maybe if
you stayed sober,
you could think of some motive,
some common motive.
It's a sex maniac.
On the one hand
it's a sex maniac
on the other it's
What?
The opposite.
What's the opposite
of a sex maniac.
Somebody who doesn't like sex.
A maniac with a
phobia about adultery.
Right!
How about?
How about?
Yeah, it's a [foreign
word] priest.
[foreign word] ?
Mad.
A mad priest?
Yes, a priest who's so [foreign
word] he wants everyone
to sleep with their own wives.
And the wives, it's yeah.
No.
No.
No, no, no, no,
it's not a priest.
It's not a priest.
It's a man whose own
marriage was destroyed
by someone else
sleeping with his wife.
So he stole his knives.
He must live here in Lischt.
Under our very noses.
A [foreign word]
who kills a doctor.
A [foreign word]
It's a [foreign word]
[both yelling unintelligibly]
Yes.
[doorbell ringing]
Ah, your guests.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Our guest.
It's the baroness.
I invited her here for a drink.
Schatzy, I admire you.
You don't give up.
No, it's okay.
I shall go.
You can do whatever
you like, Cohn.
This time, whatever you
do, I'm gonna ignore you.
Schatz, please relax.
Enjoy yourself.
You want to schtup the
baroness, it's okay by me,
so long as she does not
bring back that uniform
because frankly, black
is not your colour.
Ah, Baroness, welcome.
It's good of you to have me.
You must be so, so
busy with everything.
Oh, how could I ever be so busy?
Hmm.
That is a wonderful dress.
I'm glad you like it.
I just got it in Munich.
Really?
It's so elegant.
Thank you.
Oh.
Please.
Thank you.
Oh, how nice.
[door slams]
How intimate and you're
sure you're feeling better?
Oh yes, absolutely.
Yes.
Good.
Take a seat.
Oh thank you.
May I, may I get you a drink?
Oh yes, thank you.
Yeah, a schnapps?
A small one.
[glasses clink]
L'chaim.
What?
Wine.
Wine, you prefer wine?
No, this is fine.
[glasses clink]
Prost!
Prost!
Mmm.
Mmm.
And, are you making
any progress?
Oh yes, yes.
Yeah, with what?
The murders, of course.
There's hardly any point
in my knowing the
commissioner of police,
unless I also know
the latest news.
Yeah.
Yes, we now know who
we're looking for.
Oh, who?
A local man over 30,
probably divorced,
someone with an expert
knowledge in anatomy.
Dr. Eckhardt, your forensic man.
Oh no, good God.
It couldn't possibly be him.
Please have something to eat.
I've neglected you long enough.
We must have some food.
Here.
Here, here, here.
A plate,
napkin.
What are they?
There's chopped liver,
there's chopped herring.
And gefilte, the fish balls.
Would you like a fish ball?
And you made all this?
Well my housekeeper helped.
Oh.
Mm mm mm.
Mm.
Mm, it's delicious.
They're Polish delicacies.
Perhaps to ask some
advantages to being Polish
after all.
[dogs barking in distance]
Please, eat some for me.
Oh.
I've been thinking a lot
about what you told me of
that poor girl in Warsaw.
It must have had a
terrible effect upon you.
It did.
Oh it did.
And has no one been
able to help you since?
Well it only happens
when I'm anxious?
Oh, surely, I don't
make you anxious.
No, no.
Oh no, not anymore.
[dramatic music]
[woman screaming]
Ahh, what was that?
What?
I thought I heard a scream.
Otto, relax.
[woman screaming in distance]
[woman screaming]
No!
Otto, there's nothing there.
I'm sorry.
Oh.
I'm so sorry.
All right.
Let's try something else.
Now, if anyone creeps up on you,
you will be able
to see him first.
Good, yes, good.
Oh, Otto.
I'm terribly sorry.
These murders, they've
really upset me.
But I thought you were
an officer in the SS.
[car door slams]
[sombre music]
We know whoever it was
came in through the, uh.
Landing window.
Landing window.
So did you see who it was?
No.
No, I saw nothing.
I suddenly saw
Helmut fall forward.
I thought he'd
[knocking]
you know?
And then I suddenly
saw the knife in his
[crying]
[Schatz] So much for
your lousy theories.
They were an old
romantic couple.
The man was sleeping
with his own wife.
[Cohn] When it goes wrong.
It's always my fault.
And actually it was your theory.
You know, I said it
was [buzzer sounds]
Schatz?
[Schatz] Oh God.
[Cohn] What?
[Schatz] There's
been another two.
[suspenseful music]
Kills three people
in eight hours.
It is extraordinary.
Guth, have you checked
the victim's histories?
Yes.
And as far as we know,
they have nothing in common.
Except the smiles
on their faces.
He always strikes at
exactly the same moment
in exactly the same spot.
He's either a
butcher or a surgeon.
No more fingerprints
on anything.
No.
[Guth] No hairs?
No, nothing not a clue.
I've had Munich on the phone.
They're already calling this
the Lischt mass murders.
These days, they call
five a mass murder,
the Lischt mass murder.
That's kind of difficult to say.
Lischt mass mur.
Lischt mass murders.
Lischt mass murders.
Mash, mash, mash.
Lischt mash murders.
Mash, they're killing potatoes.
Hey, this is getting serious.
Carry on sergeant.
Are you all right
Herr Commissioner?
Yes, yes, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Now let's get this [foreign
word] before he strikes again.
[whimsical music]
What have I said to you about
appearing in the office?
Okay, okay, I know I promised
but I couldn't let that one go.
Five mass murders.
Why?
Why would anyone want to
murder someone from having sex?
Why?
You should know that Schatzen
If it can kill people for
being Jewish, Reds, homosexual,
you can kill them for shtuping.
You heard what they said?
It's either a
butcher or a surgeon.
If it's not Heller the butcher,
it's got to be another butcher.
A Jewish butcher.
You think it's me, Schatzy.
Of course, of course.
Yes.
Yes, now I see what's happened.
You think I don't know
what you're doing.
All this.
[Speaking Yiddish]
Eating kosher, never
shtuping again.
You won't succeed in your
miserable revenge, Cohn.
This is revenge?
No, this is a little joke.
Where's your sense
of fun Schatz?
Fun!
Ya little Jew bastard.
We should've got rid of you all.
You, in particular.
You did, remember?
[Schatz] No not that
again. [mumbling]
You will die.
Not even in the face of death.
Not even for your country.
I didn't have a country.
Your religion then.
I didn't believe in it.
What sort of Jew are you then?
Jew enough for you to kill.
Die as you lived, Cohn, a
third rate Jewish clown.
Well, I didn't
have a machine gun.
Only my chutzpah.
Let me get this straight
to light and good.
First you are telling me that
your commissioner dresses up
as a Nazi officer and then
runs through the streets.
Yes, I have four
independent witnesses.
And second, that
the uniform belongs
to the Baroness von Stangel.
Yes sir, it's her late husbands.
Then how come Schatz is
running through the streets
in it with his flys undone.
While I believe he
knew it was there, sir,
that he either broke
in or was invited in
and in a fit of mania, put it on
and tried to rape the Baroness.
But she never complained.
She would have been
too embarrassed, sir.
The fact that his
flys were undone
proves he was disturbed.
Sounds very disturbed.
No, sir.
I mean, he was disturbed
while trying to rape her.
What disturbed him?
I don't know, sir, but the
following day I was there
when he returned the uniform
in a box with flowers.
Are you saying right now
that he borrows the uniform
to go out and kill people.
I'm trying to show that
the commissioner is subject
to certain attacks.
But it is men who
are being killed.
No one is being raped.
But the knives were missing
from the butcher Heller's shop
from the time the
commissioner went there
for his chopped liver.
Chopped liver?
It's a Jewish delicacy, sir.
I've spoken with his
housekeeper Frau Langer.
She says that the commissioner
has taken recently
to giving her specific
instructions for certain dishes.
Potato cakes equals latkes,
cheese fritters equals blintzes,
and a fish he calls gefilte.
She has frequently heard
him speaking to himself
and using strange words.
She's made a list.
[saying Yiddish words]
That's the word he used
in my presence, sir.
All these words are Yiddish.
You are now telling me,
Leichtman, that not only is your
superior officer
probably a mass murderer,
but an ex-Nazi who
speaks Yiddish.
Or a Jew pretending
to be an ex Nazi.
Make up your mind,
which is it?
I don't know, sir.
[telephone ringing]
You make these accusations
and you're not certain.
I'm certain he is
mentally unstable.
He may or may not be the killer,
but there have been
five murders already.
And three more makes eight.
This is it.
It's still here.
Cohn, do we have
to do this today?
When else should we do it?
Come on.
It's all right.
But you must cover your head.
Can I help you?
Yes.
I'd like to say the
prayers for the dead.
Kaddish?
Yes.
Can I ask who it's for?
It's for a friend.
It's the anniversary
of his death.
It's on page 77.
Would you like me
to say it with you?
Thank you.
I understand.
I wish you long life.
I'll say it with you.
Mind you it's
unusual for someone
to say the Kaddish for
themselves, but what the hell.
Pray, Schatz, for all of us.
Then now, through the
centuries, scapegoats like me,
and bastards like you.
[singing in Hebrew]
Commissioner Schatz?
[flashbulb bursts]
I've had the Chancellor
himself on the phone,
asking how a rabbi became the
police commissioner in Lischt.
I have a report here
saying your an ex-Nazi
who runs around town
in a Gestapo uniform
with his flys undone.
Who the hell are you, Schatz?
A Nazi or a Jew?
I don't know anymore,
Herr Minister.
Do you remember whether you
ever joined the Nazi party?
No, Herr Minister.
Do you remember
ever being a Jew?
No, sir.
Why the hell are you
in that synagogue then?
I'm not sure Herr Minister.
I felt I had to go there.
The commissioner has been
under considerable
stress recently.
This case has generated.
Stress!
You've been involved in murders
before haven't you, Schatz?
Yes.
Well not like this,
not cold-blooded.
Are you saying
you're too squeamish
to solve these murders?
No.
I suggest you find yourself
a commissioner who.
[telephone rings]
Pohl.
Yes.
When?
Of course.
I'll be there.
The Chancellor asked to see me.
We find this maniac or
we'll all be out of jobs.
What the hell is
happening to you Schatz?
Pretending to be a Jew!
You have to help me.
Help you.
You know what I
served during the war.
Yes, yes, so what?
Well, like you, I
believed in the Fuhrer.
Schatz!
We were soldiers.
We obeyed orders.
I know, I know, but
you have to help me.
It's not you.
No, no, good God, no.
But I know who it might be.
Who?
A Jew, a Jewish comedian.
A Jewish comedian?
Where is he now?
He's dead.
Dead.
I killed him.
You caught him and killed him.
No, no, not now.
16 years ago in Dachau.
The murderer is a Jewish
comedian who died 16 years ago.
Yes, and he's trying
to turn me into a Jew.
Ahh!
I think the murders
might be punishment.
For what?
What if they were
really the chosen people
and we killed them.
Yes.
There God might decide
to send someone.
You believe he
could send someone.
He sent someone before.
He did.
Jesus.
And this time he sends
a Jewish comedian.
I think you need a
good rest Schatz.
I knew someone who runs
a very good clinic.
And don't worry about the costs.
The police fund will
take care of everything.
Tell me, during the war,
how did you feel about
killing those people?
Feel?
One didn't allow
oneself to feel.
Did you hate them?
Yes, no.
Maybe not at first,
but when I realised they
were ruining our country.
What then?
We had to get rid of them.
By killing them.
Yes,
it was necessary, yes.
And since then, have
you found it necessary
to kill anybody?
You don't mean that I.
Please don't apologise.
You have a lot of
repressed anger.
It could force you
to do many things.
Murder people, come
on, you're crazy.
I'm the psychiatrist, remember?
Most of them are crazy
and Jewish too.
Is he here now?
Yes.
Tell her I said, "Hello."
What's he saying?
He says, "Hello."
Say hello back.
[Cohn] Hello, back.
[Schatz laughing]
Try and relax.
Is he relaxing too?
No he's standing up.
Now, he's lying down.
Now, he's standing up.
What's he doing now?
[slide whistle whistling]
Hey, he's fooling about.
Does he fool about often?
Sometimes.
Other times, is he
depressed or sad?
Yes.
I thought you said
he was a comedian.
Is he funny?
Sometimes.
Fascinating.
I can't wait to hear
an example of this
famous Jewish humour,
[Cohn and Schatz] Oh,
she would would she?
Jewish humour, take one.
So is it true, Herr Hitler,
that you love animals?
Animals, people,
I'm crazy about 'em.
But we've heard that you're
not that keen on Jews.
Jews, I love 'em.
They're great around the house.
They're terrific with figures.
Everybody ought to have one.
[screaming]
[speaking German]
[upbeat music]
Helmut, I need backup.
If Hitler's mother had
only seen him like that,
aye, aye, aye but he had aunts.
Aunt Esther, Aunt Vriska,
aren't you're not one of them.
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* Bei [mumbles] explain *
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* Means that your grand *
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* Again I'll explain *
* It means your the
fairest in the land *
* I could say bella,
bella even say *
* Wunderbar *
* Each language only helps me
tell you how great you are *
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* Again I'll explain *
* It means you're the
fairest in the land *
[rewinding tape squealing]
ECT, do you know what that is?
They wire you up, they like
fill you with electricity
and they turn you
into a television set.
She'll kill you, not me,
because, you know,
somebody did that already.
You know?
So just say no,
say the, tell her that you're
allergic to electricity, okay?
Cohn, it's your fault.
Yes, your fault.
You had to do your number
and you're the big act.
Oh yes, some of those
people are crazy about it.
She didn't like it, you die.
All right, I got a
bit carried away.
You got carried away.
I got carried away.
So the act's a bit rusty.
Some of the shtick
needs updating.
No, you need updating Cohn.
We've had enough of your
yellow stars, your ovens,
your gas chambers.
We've heard it all before.
It's becoming a cliche.
This is to calm you down.
You'll feel very little,
just a tickle.
How do you feel?
Yes, fine.
Is he?
Yes.
But fainter.
Wonderful recording.
The last time I saw
Tristan was in Berlin
with my dear Manfred.
The Fuhrer was in the audience.
A great man, your dear husband.
You must miss him.
Constantly.
Great days.
Now all we have are American
films and sex murders.
Are you any nearer
catching that maniac?
Frankly, no.
Your police commissioner's
antics haven't
been a great help.
Oh, poor Schatz.
What's happened to him?
He's in good hands.
How well did you know him?
Hardly at all.
Did he talk to you
about his past?
When he discovered that Manfred
had been an Obergruppenfuhrer,
he told me he'd been
in the SS too.
Did he say where he'd served?
The Eastern Front.
The Eastern Front?
Yes, why?
I just wondered what
he told you about it.
Oh, I think he had a bad time.
I don't think he's
ever quite recovered.
No, no, probably not.
You don't think he could
be the murderer, do you?
I hear your feeling much better.
Yes, back to my old self.
Shall we stroll?
Why not?
Have there been
any more murders?
You don't see the papers here.
Oh no, Dr. Feuchtwanger
believes they cause anxiety.
The murders seemed
to have stopped.
Now, about your future.
The chief has agreed for you
to have an honourable discharge
and full pension rights.
It's most generous.
Meantime, I've
spoken to a friend,
a wartime friend who now
runs Westphalian Railways.
He could arrange
an inspector's job.
Really?
God, that's very kind.
Very kind.
Of course, I would have
to go back to Lischt
and settle my affairs.
Of course, but very discreetly.
[Schatz] Is there going to be a
new commissioner appointed?
Yes.
[Schatz] Good.
I must go.
Good.
Come in, come in.
Oh Hubsch.
I'm sorry, we have a
warrant for your arrest.
Arrest?
What for?
[Hubsch] Murder.
From the archives in Hamburg.
You were a
Sturmbannfuhrer in the SS.
You served in Dachau.
What's that got to
do with anything?
I didn't murder anyone here.
You did it once, you
could do it again.
It's people like you
that ruined our country.
I'm not interested in your
half-baked political theories.
I had nothing to do
with those murders.
You're crazy.
You're the one that's just
come out of a mad house.
While you were there,
there were no murders.
That's your proof?
No.
How about these?
Found in your house,
in your living room.
When?
Two days ago.
Yes.
After those swine broke in and
they were planted, come on.
Even a fool like
you must see that.
Tell them that in court.
Oh, you're a lying
little bastard.
[speaking German]
Oh, he was always after my job.
Oh, I should have
listened to Cohn.
Cohn knew.
* Da da da da dum *
* Da da da da da da da dum *
At least, I got the
clothes for the occasion.
I left off the star.
I didn't want to look too
much like the sheriff.
They think I did
those filthy murders.
The bosses have set me up.
They need a scapegoat.
That's how it works,
believe me, I know.
Cohn, you've got to help me.
Schatz, you shoot me.
You electrocute me.
And I must help you?
I didn't understand you
before, your humour.
My courage.
[Schatz] Yes.
My dignity.
[Schatz] Yes.
In the face of death.
Yes, yes, yes, yes,
anything help me please,
I'll do anything.
Anything, now he tells me.
Cohn, you were trying to turn
me into a Jew, weren't you?
So I'll be a Jew.
Cohn, I swear.
[dogs barking]
[moaning]
[woman screaming]
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh God, no.
That certainly let's old Schatz
off the hook, doesn't it?
Doesn't it.
Damn it!
Twice.
I don't believe it, twice.
[mellow music]
Ah!
You will come with us.
What?
We are arresting you for murder.
[chimes ring]
You heard the news, Liebsen
They've caught the murderer.
Oh again, who is it this time?
A police surgeon.
And you believe them?
The surgeon makes sense.
Why has he confessed?
No, he's denied it, of course.
But it must be him.
Why?
Oh, because you want to have sex
without locking all
the windows and doors.
Yes, right now.
Then ruin the lunch.
It'll be ready in five minutes.
She's a very attractive
woman, your wife,
I can see why you would
like to ruin the lunch.
Sieg heil!
Hello Josie, you're
so little, yes.
I have done pretty
well all around.
How did you get in here?
Who the hell are you?
You don't remember me?
[speaking German]
Fire!
So you remember now.
You went around the camp
for three days asking what
[speaking German] meant.
Kiss my ass.
What's wrong with your ass.
What's wrong with you?
The chair, in the chair.
What's it done to your ass?
You don't see anything?
No, you've been drinking?
What do you want from me?
You have chopped liver?
Of course.
On white or rye?
On rye.
On rye.
Don't forget the
pickled cucumber.
And the pickled cucumber.
Sweet and sour or hamishan?
Hamishan.
Hamishan.
That's one mark 50.
[sombre music]
[train whistle blows]
[gang yelling over each other]
[Gangmember] Dirty Jew.
Kush meyn tokhes.
[upbeat music]
What's that you say?
Who really committed
the murders?
You mean mine?
The 6 million?
No, no the interesting
ones, the 16 sex murders.
Was he really the
police surgeon?
Or was he just a scapegoat?
Either way, he got
a life sentence.
But really you're asking
the wrong question.
When it comes to mass murders,
you don't ask who done it.
You ask why.
Why.
But why worry, it
couldn't happen again,
could it?
[sombre music]
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* Please let me explain *
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* Means your grand *
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* Again I'll explain *
* It means you're the
fairest in the land *
* I could say bella, bella,
even sehr wunderbar *
* Each language only helps me
tell you how grand you are *
* I've tried to explain *
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* So kiss me and
say you understand *
So could you tell us
Herr Hitler, Herr Hitler?
Sorry, could you tell us your
plans for the new Germany.
Aye, aye aye, am I
going to make her great.
Good, good, good and could
you tell us a little bit
about how?
If I told you how, every
country could do it.
Ask me something else.
Well, is it true that
you love animals?
Herr Hitler.
Animals, people, I'm
crazy about them.
But we've heard that you're
not that keen on Jews.
Jews, I love 'em.
They're great around the house
and they're terrific
with figures
and everyone should have one.
So would you let your daughter
marry one, Herr Hitler?
[Hitler screeching]
[Hitler speaking German]
[audience laughing]
Listen, listen, no, listen.
You know why Hitler
doesn't like the Jews?
It is because they are
small and they all talk
and they talk too loud,
and, and, and they just
gesticulate too much.
Yes, they are small,
and they all talk,
and they gesticulate too much.
[music continues]
[victim groaning]
Give, give me a B.
[piano plays]
No, give me a B flat.
[piano plays]
No, okay, I'll take the
B and flatten it myself.
* I've tried to explain *
* By mir bist du schon *
* So kiss me and
say you understand *
Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen.
Well, that's it.
No it isn't.
I have one last
question to ask you,
how do you kill a
Jewish comedian?
Hmm, well, it's the same way
as you kill any comedian,
you don't laugh at his jokes.
[rimshot crashing]
No but listen,
when the comedian's act
hasn't worked, he says I died.
Well I died.
I died in some of the
classiest places in Europe,
but in the end,
in the end, I finally died in.
[baby crying]
[birds chirping]
Go!
Ready!
[guns cock]
[Nazi Guard] Aim!
[speaking German]
Fire!
[gunfire]
[water splashes]
[upbeat music]
[audience applauds]
Now, I would like you all
to welcome our distinguished
guest, Hans-Dieter Pohl,
Minister of the Interior.
[audience applauds]
I'm honoured to be here today
to help you dedicate
these beautiful windows.
The final touch to
this civic centre,
with it's wonderful facilities.
It's pool, it's library, it's
cinema, it's meeting hall,
all under one roof.
And now perhaps I could
draw your attention
to a season of American
musicals in the cinema.
I, myself I'm particularly
looking forward
to the showing of
"Annie and Her Gun."
Like so many of the towns
and villages in our state,
you have through your own
diligence and hard work,
rebuilt our fine cultural
and architectural heritage.
May we all continue to enjoy
it, in peace and prosperity.
And now, perhaps I could call
upon Baroness von Stangel
to unveil the plaque.
[audience applauds]
[flashbulb bursts]
[traditional music]
Ah, Frau Koch, till tomorrow.
A resignation?
Alas, no, a dental appointment.
Oh really.
[crowd chattering]
Ah, Frau Kellner
Schatz, let me introduce you.
Herr Minister, may I introduce
our Commissioner of Police,
Otto Schatz.
Pleased to meet you.
Your mayor's been boasting
you have the lowest crime rate
in the state.
Yes, 45% Less crime
against property than
in Munich itself.
Remarkable Herr Commissioner.
We should transfer you
to Munich, immediately.
[crowd chattering]
[music continues]
Don't you think they
should open our new cinema
with a German film and
not some American rubbish,
"Annie Get Your Gun"?
My very thoughts, Baroness.
I prefer Wagner.
I'm having some people back
to my house after this.
Would you care to come?
I'd be delighted.
Lovely.
So no one else is coming.
We don't see enough of each
other, Herr Commissioner.
Well, perhaps if you were to
commit some crimes Baroness.
Please call me Frieda.
Otto.
Seems a pity that
on such an occasion,
men no longer wear medals.
Indeed.
I'm sure you must have many.
A few.
Where were you?
Poland.
Oh.
Then Holland.
Belgium.
Then France.
Oh, those were exciting days.
Yes.
Then the Eastern
front, not so exciting.
You had a bad time.
My husband was killed
there, near Bialystok.
I am sorry.
Oh, don't be, it
was 13 years ago.
Were you ever married?
Yes.
She was killed in a British
air raid on Hamburg.
Oh, dead.
I would like to show you a
photograph of my husband.
I would like to see it.
It is upstairs.
Come.
[military music]
The best were taken.
I was also in the SS,
Sturmbannfuhrer.
And they let you
join the police?
My records were destroyed.
I told the American
denazification court.
I was a private
in the wehrmacht.
I joined the police in 48.
And you became commissioner
in less than 10 years.
I work hard
at everything.
No, not yet.
First, please go
to the wardrobe.
No, please do this for me first.
Open it.
Enter.
Part them.
Go beyond.
Open the doors.
It was Manfred's.
Put it on.
It was made in Oberbruch
after the occupation of Paris.
Oh, what a time we had there.
Then he was with the first
division that went into Russia.
He won it, leading his men
in the attack on Vitemsk.
What size are you?
Size?
[Frieda] Your feet.
44.
The boots are 45, put them on.
[military music continues]
Oh!
No!
What?
There!
Where?
There.
What's the matter?
You look as though
you've seen a ghost.
There!
What?
I'm not very well.
[suspenseful music]
[bell rings]
[loud footsteps]
[door slams]
Is there anyone there?
It's all right, Frau Langer,
it's only me.
Oh, Herr Commissioner.
Your dinner's ready
when you want it.
I've prepared the sausages
just the way you like them.
Good, thank you.
Thank you.
[door slams]
[Otto breathing heavily]
Sieg heil!
Who are you?
I give you a clue, tokhes.
[foreign language]
I knew you'd remember.
What do you want?
First take off
that uniform, now!
[speaking foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
You knew it was Yiddish,
but you didn't
know what it meant.
You went around the camp asking.
What a, what does this
mean, this [Yiddish phrase].
Then Pinkas Adelman,
[speaking foreign language].
Pinkas Adelman, he looked
you straight in the eye
and he says, "Kiss my ass."
Poor Adelman.
So, go put something on.
You wanna catch cold.
You need another drink.
Who are you?
You couldn't get
over my chutzpah,
so you went to the camp files.
This is the camp files.
No it isn't, this
is the camp files
and you found out who I was.
Genghis Cohn.
You still remember.
Oh, no, I'm touched.
No, seriously.
I mean, how many people
did you kill in that camp?
A thousand, a hundred thousand
nameless, faceless people,
but once you can put
a name to a face,
now that is something
different, right?
Why now?
Schatz, Schatz, Schatz, you
just became a Nazi again,
with the full uniform,
the Iron Cross and
the hmm and the ha
and the full shtick, and
you asked me why now?
Now okay.
I'm sorry I stopped you
having the best lay in Lischt.
A widow with a million
Deutsche Marks.
A baroness [foreign word].
But what was, what
was all that crap
about the Eastern front.
They gave you a bad time.
Hmm?
You were busy killing
people a hundred kilometres
up the road at Dachau.
How do you know all this?
Oh since that
memorable day Schatzen,
I've always been a part of you.
Haven't I?
What do you want?
Chopped liver sandwich, pickled
cucumber, and lemon tea,
no sugar.
What?
Okay, tomorrow.
[whimsical music]
[telephone ringing]
Good morning, Herr Commissioner.
The reception went
well yesterday.
Yes, fine.
Fine.
So, what's in this morning?
Nothing much.
Spotter bothering the.
Oh what?
Someone in Gestapo uniform
ran through the square.
Gestapo officer.
What, here?
They ran from the Baroness
von Stangel's house
across the square and
disappeared at Ludwig Strasse.
Has the Baroness
lodged a complaint.
[Guth] No.
Well, who are these
mindless drunks
that see Gestapo Officers
running around the town.
Dr. Browner, Herr Kellner,
the mayor, and Frau Meisner.
Let me see.
They say he bore a
resemblance to me.
Ridiculous, isn't it?
[Schatz] Why would
they say such a thing?
I'll investigate immediately.
Oh no, oh no, not here.
Where then, Herr Commissioner?
What, where what?
Where shall I
investigate if not here?
Yes, right?
No, leave it for the time being.
An hallucination,
that's what it is, good.
Three people, independently
having the same hallucination.
Three people?
[Guth] They even noticed
his flyers were undone.
Get out.
I'll deal with this.
You wanna watch that young man.
He's after your job.
Cohn, please, not here.
Not in the office, please.
What have I?
What have you ever done to me?
Oh, that is a
great line, Schatz.
That is beautiful.
Cohn, please.
What do you want?
Now, a chopped liver sandwich.
A little more chicken fat
A little more chicken fat.
No, no, no more onion.
Inga, have you
seen my big knives.
[Inga] No.
I can't find them anywhere.
I'll look in a minute.
Could you chop it
a little finer.
[Inga] Where did you learn
all this, Herr Commissioner.
In Poland.
I served there.
[bell rings]
Oh no.
Herr Heller.
[heels click]
Dr. Brown.
With a good sandwich,
you need a good book.
Herr Commissioner.
What's a pleasant surprise.
I need a book.
Of course.
If you give me the title and
author I'll find it for you.
Diary of Anne Frank.
Do you know who the author
is Herr Commissioner.
Anne Frank, you schmuck.
Anne Frank, you schmuck.
[rimshot crashes]
May I ask you,
have you kept any of your
late husband's uniforms?
No.
None of his insignia.
My husband won the iron cross.
It is in the safe
with the rest of my
most valued possessions.
Anything else?
No.
Thank you Baroness.
You'd be most helpful.
[foot steps echo]
I'm sorry to have troubled you.
It was no trouble.
A good citizen should
always help the police.
What are you doing here?
There were more reports.
The lieutenant has
been most punctilious.
The photographs you promised me.
Yes.
[Frieda] Ilsa!
Did you tell him anything?
Of course not.
You were most
peculiar last night.
What happened?
I'm terribly sorry.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
It was something that
happened to me, a trauma.
Trauma?
Yes.
During the war, in Warsaw.
I was with a girl,
you know, like that.
And there was an explosion
and she was killed.
I survived.
I'm sorry.
What schmaltz!
You were never in Warsaw.
You were too busy killing Jews.
Jews, Jews, everything is Jews.
Calm down, Otto.
There aren't any Jews here.
Not anymore.
Please, leave me alone.
Stop kvetching, Schatz.
Stop it.
Damn you, damn you, damn you.
You spoiled everything.
Spoiled, please, I saved you!
She wasn't right
for your Schatzen,
she's too dominating,
And her husband was
probably delighted
to go fight the
Russians instead of.
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Okay.
Well,
Guth, who is it?
Dr. Burkhart, the dentist.
Oh my God.
[flashbulb bursts]
Have the whole area searched.
It's being done, sir.
I can, I can see.
I'll take you back to the mall.
We'll finish off there.
The position is extraordinary.
And the smile on the face.
There's only one thing missing.
What, what's that?
The woman who was underneath.
Killed between six
and eight last night.
Butcher's knife entered between
the sixth and seventh rib,
crossing the medial
aspect of the left lung,
piercing the pericardium
and entering the left
ventricle of the heart.
Whoever he was, knew
exactly what he was doing.
And Heller reported his
knives missing yesterday.
I was there when he
first couldn't find them.
In the shop?
Yes.
I was buying some meat.
Any fingerprints on the knife?
Only Heller's.
Well, there were bound to
be on it, weren't they?
The killer probably wore gloves.
Or Heller did it himself
and faked the theft.
What about the smile?
Oh, perfectly explicable.
The killer chose his
moment very carefully.
I've never seen such delight
on the face of the corpse.
[Hubsch laughing]
What's so funny, Hubsch?
At least he went
out with a bang.
[men laughing]
I'm glad you all
find murder so funny.
Why hasn't the
woman come forward?
What, do you think he
went into the woods
to make love to his own wife?
Whoever she was, she
must've seen the murderer.
Under the circumstance, she
might've had her eyes shut.
Oh, God.
What's the matter.
Under the circumstances, she
might've had her eyes shut.
Not bad.
Could be a bit more throwaway.
Get out, get out,
get out, get out.
Get out, let's all get out.
Shouldn't be too
hard to find out
who Burkhardt's mistress was.
[telephone ringing]
[typewriter clacking]
[inquisitive music]
The whole town is going
crazy about the murder
and our Commissioner
wants more chopped liver
[bell dings]
[knocking on door]
Enter.
Ah, Frau Heller, how
good of you to come
and so quickly.
That'll be all Sergeant.
Would you care for a cup?
No, thank you.
I must get back.
Oh please stay for a minute.
You might be able to help me.
In your shop, you probably
hear more than I do.
What are the people
saying about the murder?
Please, have a cup.
Uh, black or white?
Black, please.
So, what are they saying?
That it's the work of a man.
Or a very jealous man?
We know the woman with him
was someone else's wife.
I knew Dr. Burkhardt.
Good man, good dentist.
I'm just saw him, two weeks ago.
Was he your dentist?
When did you last visit him?
It was me.
I was with him.
I was there.
Heller.
Did you see who it was?
No.
I had my eyes shut.
That's it.
Checkmate, it's him,
it's the butcher.
He's got the motive.
It's his knife.
No, we were both there
when he said the
knives were missing.
An alibi, Schatz, an alibi.
He's a smart butcher.
[whimsical music]
Ah, Schatz, this murder is
having a terrible effect.
My surgeries have doubled.
What's wrong with people?
Oh, they're no longer
having sexual relations.
[Townsperson] Well,
what are you going
to do about it, Schatz?
What am I supposed
to do about it?
People are too scared to schtup.
Schtup?
Slang, slang, sorry.
You know, having sex.
What am I supposed to do?
Catch the killer.
[telephone ringing]
Yes.
Put him through at once.
Hello sir.
Yes, I know.
Yes, it's most regrettable
about the press.
I'm doing all I can.
Tell him.
In fact, sir, I'm,
I'm, I'm very close
to making an arrest.
Oh really?
Thank you.
You're most kind, sir.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
I shouldn't have said that.
It's too early.
Is he off the phone yet?
Yes.
Well then who's he arguing with?
Maybe this is all
too much for him.
I'm worried.
I know who the murderer is.
Heller the butcher.
[crowd shouting]
What's the meaning of this?
Lieutenant Guth read
you the charges.
You're all crazy.
I think it would be much
easier, Herr Heller,
if you cooperated with us.
Oh, you mean you'd
like a confession
because you've got no evidence.
We know Dr. Burkhardt
was your wife's lover.
So, try another surprise.
Of course you knew,
that's why you killed him.
If I killed everyone in Lischt
who slept with my wife this
town would be decimated.
Was your knife.
You were there when I discovered
that my knives had been stolen.
[Schatz] A clever trick.
Oh, so you find them then.
Nobody will believe you
haven't conveniently
got rid of them.
One of them in Dr. Burkhardt.
And my wife saw the killer, me?
You were very careful
not to be seen.
So where's your proof?
Your knife, your wife.
I can prove that I
couldn't give a damn
who that whore slept with.
I was going to
divorce her anyway.
Now I might just
kill her instead.
[woman moaning]
Hans, Hans,
Hans, we go now.
[woman screaming]
[mysterious music]
[flashbulb bursts]
Oh God.
Same smile.
You're free to go now.
Commissioner Shithead
changed his mind, eh?
He had to.
There's been another murder.
One of your knives again.
Anyone we know?
Hans Schumberg, the architect.
There was a woman.
Frau Kellner, the mayor's wife.
That's gonna be some scandal.
Sorry, Otto.
Frau Kellner.
Frau Kellner, I'm
sorry to disturb you,
but you may be able to
save someone else's life.
Did you see who it was?
Can you tell us
anything you saw?
Anything?
Dark shape.
A face?
A bit of a face?
A moustache?
The colour of his hair?
A dark shape.
Oh, Hans!
I'm being made to
look a fool, an idiot.
Who stole Heller's knives?
Who's using them?
Who?
I'm Watson, remember,
you're Holmes.
L'chaim.
You're drinking too
much, ya know that?
I mean, shouldn't you
leave just a little bit
for the guests.
You know, a tiny, tiny bit.
I mean maybe if
you stayed sober,
you could think of some motive,
some common motive.
It's a sex maniac.
On the one hand
it's a sex maniac
on the other it's
What?
The opposite.
What's the opposite
of a sex maniac.
Somebody who doesn't like sex.
A maniac with a
phobia about adultery.
Right!
How about?
How about?
Yeah, it's a [foreign
word] priest.
[foreign word] ?
Mad.
A mad priest?
Yes, a priest who's so [foreign
word] he wants everyone
to sleep with their own wives.
And the wives, it's yeah.
No.
No.
No, no, no, no,
it's not a priest.
It's not a priest.
It's a man whose own
marriage was destroyed
by someone else
sleeping with his wife.
So he stole his knives.
He must live here in Lischt.
Under our very noses.
A [foreign word]
who kills a doctor.
A [foreign word]
It's a [foreign word]
[both yelling unintelligibly]
Yes.
[doorbell ringing]
Ah, your guests.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Our guest.
It's the baroness.
I invited her here for a drink.
Schatzy, I admire you.
You don't give up.
No, it's okay.
I shall go.
You can do whatever
you like, Cohn.
This time, whatever you
do, I'm gonna ignore you.
Schatz, please relax.
Enjoy yourself.
You want to schtup the
baroness, it's okay by me,
so long as she does not
bring back that uniform
because frankly, black
is not your colour.
Ah, Baroness, welcome.
It's good of you to have me.
You must be so, so
busy with everything.
Oh, how could I ever be so busy?
Hmm.
That is a wonderful dress.
I'm glad you like it.
I just got it in Munich.
Really?
It's so elegant.
Thank you.
Oh.
Please.
Thank you.
Oh, how nice.
[door slams]
How intimate and you're
sure you're feeling better?
Oh yes, absolutely.
Yes.
Good.
Take a seat.
Oh thank you.
May I, may I get you a drink?
Oh yes, thank you.
Yeah, a schnapps?
A small one.
[glasses clink]
L'chaim.
What?
Wine.
Wine, you prefer wine?
No, this is fine.
[glasses clink]
Prost!
Prost!
Mmm.
Mmm.
And, are you making
any progress?
Oh yes, yes.
Yeah, with what?
The murders, of course.
There's hardly any point
in my knowing the
commissioner of police,
unless I also know
the latest news.
Yeah.
Yes, we now know who
we're looking for.
Oh, who?
A local man over 30,
probably divorced,
someone with an expert
knowledge in anatomy.
Dr. Eckhardt, your forensic man.
Oh no, good God.
It couldn't possibly be him.
Please have something to eat.
I've neglected you long enough.
We must have some food.
Here.
Here, here, here.
A plate,
napkin.
What are they?
There's chopped liver,
there's chopped herring.
And gefilte, the fish balls.
Would you like a fish ball?
And you made all this?
Well my housekeeper helped.
Oh.
Mm mm mm.
Mm.
Mm, it's delicious.
They're Polish delicacies.
Perhaps to ask some
advantages to being Polish
after all.
[dogs barking in distance]
Please, eat some for me.
Oh.
I've been thinking a lot
about what you told me of
that poor girl in Warsaw.
It must have had a
terrible effect upon you.
It did.
Oh it did.
And has no one been
able to help you since?
Well it only happens
when I'm anxious?
Oh, surely, I don't
make you anxious.
No, no.
Oh no, not anymore.
[dramatic music]
[woman screaming]
Ahh, what was that?
What?
I thought I heard a scream.
Otto, relax.
[woman screaming in distance]
[woman screaming]
No!
Otto, there's nothing there.
I'm sorry.
Oh.
I'm so sorry.
All right.
Let's try something else.
Now, if anyone creeps up on you,
you will be able
to see him first.
Good, yes, good.
Oh, Otto.
I'm terribly sorry.
These murders, they've
really upset me.
But I thought you were
an officer in the SS.
[car door slams]
[sombre music]
We know whoever it was
came in through the, uh.
Landing window.
Landing window.
So did you see who it was?
No.
No, I saw nothing.
I suddenly saw
Helmut fall forward.
I thought he'd
[knocking]
you know?
And then I suddenly
saw the knife in his
[crying]
[Schatz] So much for
your lousy theories.
They were an old
romantic couple.
The man was sleeping
with his own wife.
[Cohn] When it goes wrong.
It's always my fault.
And actually it was your theory.
You know, I said it
was [buzzer sounds]
Schatz?
[Schatz] Oh God.
[Cohn] What?
[Schatz] There's
been another two.
[suspenseful music]
Kills three people
in eight hours.
It is extraordinary.
Guth, have you checked
the victim's histories?
Yes.
And as far as we know,
they have nothing in common.
Except the smiles
on their faces.
He always strikes at
exactly the same moment
in exactly the same spot.
He's either a
butcher or a surgeon.
No more fingerprints
on anything.
No.
[Guth] No hairs?
No, nothing not a clue.
I've had Munich on the phone.
They're already calling this
the Lischt mass murders.
These days, they call
five a mass murder,
the Lischt mass murder.
That's kind of difficult to say.
Lischt mass mur.
Lischt mass murders.
Lischt mass murders.
Mash, mash, mash.
Lischt mash murders.
Mash, they're killing potatoes.
Hey, this is getting serious.
Carry on sergeant.
Are you all right
Herr Commissioner?
Yes, yes, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Now let's get this [foreign
word] before he strikes again.
[whimsical music]
What have I said to you about
appearing in the office?
Okay, okay, I know I promised
but I couldn't let that one go.
Five mass murders.
Why?
Why would anyone want to
murder someone from having sex?
Why?
You should know that Schatzen
If it can kill people for
being Jewish, Reds, homosexual,
you can kill them for shtuping.
You heard what they said?
It's either a
butcher or a surgeon.
If it's not Heller the butcher,
it's got to be another butcher.
A Jewish butcher.
You think it's me, Schatzy.
Of course, of course.
Yes.
Yes, now I see what's happened.
You think I don't know
what you're doing.
All this.
[Speaking Yiddish]
Eating kosher, never
shtuping again.
You won't succeed in your
miserable revenge, Cohn.
This is revenge?
No, this is a little joke.
Where's your sense
of fun Schatz?
Fun!
Ya little Jew bastard.
We should've got rid of you all.
You, in particular.
You did, remember?
[Schatz] No not that
again. [mumbling]
You will die.
Not even in the face of death.
Not even for your country.
I didn't have a country.
Your religion then.
I didn't believe in it.
What sort of Jew are you then?
Jew enough for you to kill.
Die as you lived, Cohn, a
third rate Jewish clown.
Well, I didn't
have a machine gun.
Only my chutzpah.
Let me get this straight
to light and good.
First you are telling me that
your commissioner dresses up
as a Nazi officer and then
runs through the streets.
Yes, I have four
independent witnesses.
And second, that
the uniform belongs
to the Baroness von Stangel.
Yes sir, it's her late husbands.
Then how come Schatz is
running through the streets
in it with his flys undone.
While I believe he
knew it was there, sir,
that he either broke
in or was invited in
and in a fit of mania, put it on
and tried to rape the Baroness.
But she never complained.
She would have been
too embarrassed, sir.
The fact that his
flys were undone
proves he was disturbed.
Sounds very disturbed.
No, sir.
I mean, he was disturbed
while trying to rape her.
What disturbed him?
I don't know, sir, but the
following day I was there
when he returned the uniform
in a box with flowers.
Are you saying right now
that he borrows the uniform
to go out and kill people.
I'm trying to show that
the commissioner is subject
to certain attacks.
But it is men who
are being killed.
No one is being raped.
But the knives were missing
from the butcher Heller's shop
from the time the
commissioner went there
for his chopped liver.
Chopped liver?
It's a Jewish delicacy, sir.
I've spoken with his
housekeeper Frau Langer.
She says that the commissioner
has taken recently
to giving her specific
instructions for certain dishes.
Potato cakes equals latkes,
cheese fritters equals blintzes,
and a fish he calls gefilte.
She has frequently heard
him speaking to himself
and using strange words.
She's made a list.
[saying Yiddish words]
That's the word he used
in my presence, sir.
All these words are Yiddish.
You are now telling me,
Leichtman, that not only is your
superior officer
probably a mass murderer,
but an ex-Nazi who
speaks Yiddish.
Or a Jew pretending
to be an ex Nazi.
Make up your mind,
which is it?
I don't know, sir.
[telephone ringing]
You make these accusations
and you're not certain.
I'm certain he is
mentally unstable.
He may or may not be the killer,
but there have been
five murders already.
And three more makes eight.
This is it.
It's still here.
Cohn, do we have
to do this today?
When else should we do it?
Come on.
It's all right.
But you must cover your head.
Can I help you?
Yes.
I'd like to say the
prayers for the dead.
Kaddish?
Yes.
Can I ask who it's for?
It's for a friend.
It's the anniversary
of his death.
It's on page 77.
Would you like me
to say it with you?
Thank you.
I understand.
I wish you long life.
I'll say it with you.
Mind you it's
unusual for someone
to say the Kaddish for
themselves, but what the hell.
Pray, Schatz, for all of us.
Then now, through the
centuries, scapegoats like me,
and bastards like you.
[singing in Hebrew]
Commissioner Schatz?
[flashbulb bursts]
I've had the Chancellor
himself on the phone,
asking how a rabbi became the
police commissioner in Lischt.
I have a report here
saying your an ex-Nazi
who runs around town
in a Gestapo uniform
with his flys undone.
Who the hell are you, Schatz?
A Nazi or a Jew?
I don't know anymore,
Herr Minister.
Do you remember whether you
ever joined the Nazi party?
No, Herr Minister.
Do you remember
ever being a Jew?
No, sir.
Why the hell are you
in that synagogue then?
I'm not sure Herr Minister.
I felt I had to go there.
The commissioner has been
under considerable
stress recently.
This case has generated.
Stress!
You've been involved in murders
before haven't you, Schatz?
Yes.
Well not like this,
not cold-blooded.
Are you saying
you're too squeamish
to solve these murders?
No.
I suggest you find yourself
a commissioner who.
[telephone rings]
Pohl.
Yes.
When?
Of course.
I'll be there.
The Chancellor asked to see me.
We find this maniac or
we'll all be out of jobs.
What the hell is
happening to you Schatz?
Pretending to be a Jew!
You have to help me.
Help you.
You know what I
served during the war.
Yes, yes, so what?
Well, like you, I
believed in the Fuhrer.
Schatz!
We were soldiers.
We obeyed orders.
I know, I know, but
you have to help me.
It's not you.
No, no, good God, no.
But I know who it might be.
Who?
A Jew, a Jewish comedian.
A Jewish comedian?
Where is he now?
He's dead.
Dead.
I killed him.
You caught him and killed him.
No, no, not now.
16 years ago in Dachau.
The murderer is a Jewish
comedian who died 16 years ago.
Yes, and he's trying
to turn me into a Jew.
Ahh!
I think the murders
might be punishment.
For what?
What if they were
really the chosen people
and we killed them.
Yes.
There God might decide
to send someone.
You believe he
could send someone.
He sent someone before.
He did.
Jesus.
And this time he sends
a Jewish comedian.
I think you need a
good rest Schatz.
I knew someone who runs
a very good clinic.
And don't worry about the costs.
The police fund will
take care of everything.
Tell me, during the war,
how did you feel about
killing those people?
Feel?
One didn't allow
oneself to feel.
Did you hate them?
Yes, no.
Maybe not at first,
but when I realised they
were ruining our country.
What then?
We had to get rid of them.
By killing them.
Yes,
it was necessary, yes.
And since then, have
you found it necessary
to kill anybody?
You don't mean that I.
Please don't apologise.
You have a lot of
repressed anger.
It could force you
to do many things.
Murder people, come
on, you're crazy.
I'm the psychiatrist, remember?
Most of them are crazy
and Jewish too.
Is he here now?
Yes.
Tell her I said, "Hello."
What's he saying?
He says, "Hello."
Say hello back.
[Cohn] Hello, back.
[Schatz laughing]
Try and relax.
Is he relaxing too?
No he's standing up.
Now, he's lying down.
Now, he's standing up.
What's he doing now?
[slide whistle whistling]
Hey, he's fooling about.
Does he fool about often?
Sometimes.
Other times, is he
depressed or sad?
Yes.
I thought you said
he was a comedian.
Is he funny?
Sometimes.
Fascinating.
I can't wait to hear
an example of this
famous Jewish humour,
[Cohn and Schatz] Oh,
she would would she?
Jewish humour, take one.
So is it true, Herr Hitler,
that you love animals?
Animals, people,
I'm crazy about 'em.
But we've heard that you're
not that keen on Jews.
Jews, I love 'em.
They're great around the house.
They're terrific with figures.
Everybody ought to have one.
[screaming]
[speaking German]
[upbeat music]
Helmut, I need backup.
If Hitler's mother had
only seen him like that,
aye, aye, aye but he had aunts.
Aunt Esther, Aunt Vriska,
aren't you're not one of them.
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* Bei [mumbles] explain *
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* Means that your grand *
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* Again I'll explain *
* It means your the
fairest in the land *
* I could say bella,
bella even say *
* Wunderbar *
* Each language only helps me
tell you how great you are *
* Bei mir bist du schon *
* Again I'll explain *
* It means you're the
fairest in the land *
[rewinding tape squealing]
ECT, do you know what that is?
They wire you up, they like
fill you with electricity
and they turn you
into a television set.
She'll kill you, not me,
because, you know,
somebody did that already.
You know?
So just say no,
say the, tell her that you're
allergic to electricity, okay?
Cohn, it's your fault.
Yes, your fault.
You had to do your number
and you're the big act.
Oh yes, some of those
people are crazy about it.
She didn't like it, you die.
All right, I got a
bit carried away.
You got carried away.
I got carried away.
So the act's a bit rusty.
Some of the shtick
needs updating.
No, you need updating Cohn.
We've had enough of your
yellow stars, your ovens,
your gas chambers.
We've heard it all before.
It's becoming a cliche.
This is to calm you down.
You'll feel very little,
just a tickle.
How do you feel?
Yes, fine.
Is he?
Yes.
But fainter.
Wonderful recording.
The last time I saw
Tristan was in Berlin
with my dear Manfred.
The Fuhrer was in the audience.
A great man, your dear husband.
You must miss him.
Constantly.
Great days.
Now all we have are American
films and sex murders.
Are you any nearer
catching that maniac?
Frankly, no.
Your police commissioner's
antics haven't
been a great help.
Oh, poor Schatz.
What's happened to him?
He's in good hands.
How well did you know him?
Hardly at all.
Did he talk to you
about his past?
When he discovered that Manfred
had been an Obergruppenfuhrer,
he told me he'd been
in the SS too.
Did he say where he'd served?
The Eastern Front.
The Eastern Front?
Yes, why?
I just wondered what
he told you about it.
Oh, I think he had a bad time.
I don't think he's
ever quite recovered.
No, no, probably not.
You don't think he could
be the murderer, do you?
I hear your feeling much better.
Yes, back to my old self.
Shall we stroll?
Why not?
Have there been
any more murders?
You don't see the papers here.
Oh no, Dr. Feuchtwanger
believes they cause anxiety.
The murders seemed
to have stopped.
Now, about your future.
The chief has agreed for you
to have an honourable discharge
and full pension rights.
It's most generous.
Meantime, I've
spoken to a friend,
a wartime friend who now
runs Westphalian Railways.
He could arrange
an inspector's job.
Really?
God, that's very kind.
Very kind.
Of course, I would have
to go back to Lischt
and settle my affairs.
Of course, but very discreetly.
[Schatz] Is there going to be a
new commissioner appointed?
Yes.
[Schatz] Good.
I must go.
Good.
Come in, come in.
Oh Hubsch.
I'm sorry, we have a
warrant for your arrest.
Arrest?
What for?
[Hubsch] Murder.
From the archives in Hamburg.
You were a
Sturmbannfuhrer in the SS.
You served in Dachau.
What's that got to
do with anything?
I didn't murder anyone here.
You did it once, you
could do it again.
It's people like you
that ruined our country.
I'm not interested in your
half-baked political theories.
I had nothing to do
with those murders.
You're crazy.
You're the one that's just
come out of a mad house.
While you were there,
there were no murders.
That's your proof?
No.
How about these?
Found in your house,
in your living room.
When?
Two days ago.
Yes.
After those swine broke in and
they were planted, come on.
Even a fool like
you must see that.
Tell them that in court.
Oh, you're a lying
little bastard.
[speaking German]
Oh, he was always after my job.
Oh, I should have
listened to Cohn.
Cohn knew.
* Da da da da dum *
* Da da da da da da da dum *
At least, I got the
clothes for the occasion.
I left off the star.
I didn't want to look too
much like the sheriff.
They think I did
those filthy murders.
The bosses have set me up.
They need a scapegoat.
That's how it works,
believe me, I know.
Cohn, you've got to help me.
Schatz, you shoot me.
You electrocute me.
And I must help you?
I didn't understand you
before, your humour.
My courage.
[Schatz] Yes.
My dignity.
[Schatz] Yes.
In the face of death.
Yes, yes, yes, yes,
anything help me please,
I'll do anything.
Anything, now he tells me.
Cohn, you were trying to turn
me into a Jew, weren't you?
So I'll be a Jew.
Cohn, I swear.
[dogs barking]
[moaning]
[woman screaming]
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh God, no.
That certainly let's old Schatz
off the hook, doesn't it?
Doesn't it.
Damn it!
Twice.
I don't believe it, twice.
[mellow music]
Ah!
You will come with us.
What?
We are arresting you for murder.
[chimes ring]
You heard the news, Liebsen
They've caught the murderer.
Oh again, who is it this time?
A police surgeon.
And you believe them?
The surgeon makes sense.
Why has he confessed?
No, he's denied it, of course.
But it must be him.
Why?
Oh, because you want to have sex
without locking all
the windows and doors.
Yes, right now.
Then ruin the lunch.
It'll be ready in five minutes.
She's a very attractive
woman, your wife,
I can see why you would
like to ruin the lunch.
Sieg heil!
Hello Josie, you're
so little, yes.
I have done pretty
well all around.
How did you get in here?
Who the hell are you?
You don't remember me?
[speaking German]
Fire!
So you remember now.
You went around the camp
for three days asking what
[speaking German] meant.
Kiss my ass.
What's wrong with your ass.
What's wrong with you?
The chair, in the chair.
What's it done to your ass?
You don't see anything?
No, you've been drinking?
What do you want from me?
You have chopped liver?
Of course.
On white or rye?
On rye.
On rye.
Don't forget the
pickled cucumber.
And the pickled cucumber.
Sweet and sour or hamishan?
Hamishan.
Hamishan.
That's one mark 50.
[sombre music]
[train whistle blows]
[gang yelling over each other]
[Gangmember] Dirty Jew.
Kush meyn tokhes.
[upbeat music]
What's that you say?
Who really committed
the murders?
You mean mine?
The 6 million?
No, no the interesting
ones, the 16 sex murders.
Was he really the
police surgeon?
Or was he just a scapegoat?
Either way, he got
a life sentence.
But really you're asking
the wrong question.
When it comes to mass murders,
you don't ask who done it.
You ask why.
Why.
But why worry, it
couldn't happen again,
could it?
[sombre music]