Samantha Who? (2007–2009): Season 1, Episode 5 - The Restraining Order - full transcript

drive.

Samantha Who

Holy moly.

Okay, you've done something.
We can work it out.

No, no.We just need to get to town
before the store closes.

we're robbing a store?

Can we just go?

I'm just the wheelman.

You know, I would like one request, though.

If there's gonna be some kind of spree...

no, it's nothing like that.



The only crime is me stupidly wanting
a relationship with my father.

My car shakes if I go above 50,

so we have some time together to,

you know, to share,or... hmm.

Well... it all started the ice cream.

It usually does.

Three days ago

the thing about amnesia

is that you learn something new every day.

Like, just last week I learned
that it's really a bad idea

to sit behind me on a roller coaster.

So anyway, a couple of days ago,
I was trying to learn my favorite ice cream.

Mint chocolate chip

skyrockets to number one.



I can always tell when hunting season's about to start.

We've been here an hour,and you're still smiling.

I've never been so bored.

But who cares? Tomorrow I am a man.

Samantha, honey,have you made a decision?

Yes. There is no bad ice cream.

Oh, good. Okay.Well, then, so we can--

wait a minute. Wait.

What is frozen yogurt?

Oh, lord.

No, no, no.I just wanna, um,

I wanna try the, uh, um... the...

the, the vanilla bean swirl.

I think I might...

I think I might like that...

because it'S...

what is this song?

This song is so sad!

I knew it was a mistake bringing her here.
It always ended in tears.

I'm sorry.She's just overtired.

No, I'm not! I want more ice cream. Mom!

Still Three days ago

So I didn't even stop crying until we were halfway home.

What was the song?

I didn't catch the words, but it was like, um...

oh, I love that song!It's by mmm-mmm and the mmm-mmm'S.

Todd, this is a very powerful memory for me,
and I need it.

God, but what is it connected to?

A past love or us?Was it our song?

No, no, we didn't have a song.

Every time I suggested one,you laughed at me
and asked me if I was on my period.

Oh. Bad girlfriend!

God, I really keep hoping that
you were the only guy that I treated terribly.

You. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I'm thinking there were others.

Do you mind if I-- no. Please.

Hey, wait! I wanna talk to you!

1,000 feet, samantha!

Have it in writing!

Restraining order. Why didn't I think of that?

Hey, guy! Guy, stop!Stop!

well are you okay?

Well, that was interesting.

I know.

I can really throw.

restraining orders are just so unfair.

I mean, sometimes a love is just
too big to be fenced in by laws.

Well, yeah, and they're totally unenforceable.

I mean, how do you eyeball 1,000 feet?

14 telephone poles.

Two days ago

I can't believe you, andrea.

How could you not tell me about this?

I mean, you call me at midnight to
tell me to get my eyebrows waxed,

but my restraining order just,
like, slips your mind?

Forgetting things we shouldn't remember is
why god invented amnesia...

and tequilA.

All right, why do you have my file?

Because I represented you.

- Thank you.
- Not for free.

All right, so how I was "obsessed"?
Was I--did I--did I--what,

leave too many messages or something or write him poems?

I kidnapped his dog?

Ah, waited for him in his tanning bed.

Took his clothes from a dressing room

and made him come out in his underwear and talk to me.

that one's kinda cool.

I know. I like that one.

Yeah, but now there's this restraining order
against me-- on old me,

and I'm not that person anymore.
I am--I'm 100% less stalky.

Well, good.Then it'll be easy not to violate it.

Yeah, but what about him?

I mean, this poor guy is like a wreck because of me.

He should know that he doesn't have to

keep looking over his shoulder everywhere he goes.

- I should call him.
- No, I know you.

You get something in your teeth,
and you shake it until its dead.

Yeah, but maybe not anymore.

Okay. No, you're right. You're right.

Catch!

"Nathan burke, 312-555-0196."

Good. Go ahead. Call him.

Go ahead. It's not like a guy who's being stalked

wouldn't change his phone number.

Ah, that's a good point.

- Nathan!
- Go away!

I just want to talk. Open the door.

Don't think so.

I'm not gonna do anything, all right?

I just came here to tell you that
you don't have to worry about me in,

you know, coming here,

and I'm very, very sorry for what I've put you through,

but trust me. You do not need a restraining order.

Okay, then.

Really?

Yeah, sure. People can change, I guess.

Thanks for telling me. That's a big relief.

Oh. For me, too.

I am so glad you think that people can change.

Because you know what?

I struggle with that question every day myself, you know?

Nathan?

Nathan?

well, you tried.

If he doesn't wanna hear it,there's nothing
you can do about it, right?

One would think.

that was kind of rude.

What are you do-- how did you break into my car?

I know, right? It's another skill I didn't know I had.

I'm not driving anywhere with you.

I saw it on the oprah survival special--
never go to the second location.

Okay, look, I just wanna talk to you.
Why are you making this so hard?

I'm gonna reach for my phone now, okay?

I wanna have a neighbor check on my dog.

Listen to me. I don't know you, all right?

I have retrograde amnesia.

Amnesia doesn't exist.

It's just a cheap and lazy storytelling device.

No, no, no. It's real.

See, I was hit by a car and i was unconscious for eight days,

so I have no memories, including of you and me.

So there's no reason to stalk you, see?

There's nothing to be afraid of.

So how did you find me?

I stole your file.

But that--you know what?
Let's just stay on track. All right?

Look, what I wand to say is that after today,

you will never see me again, I promise.

Really?

Yes.

Well, you do seem different.

- I am.
- Okay.

Oh, god. Thank god.

I mean, I know I'm making such a big deal about this,

but I just wanted you to know that I am not crazy, all right?

I'm not that person anymore.

I'm very rational...

oh, now you see...

just all those, uh,

old memories have been erased...

I'm just trying to turn over a new...

damn it! Oh, see, I'm not crying about you, okay?

It's just that that--I don't even know what it's about.

I have to go. Oh, god.

That song!

well, I'm a little hurt.

You like this boy enough to stalk him,

and this is the first time hearing of him.

Okay, I don't like him--

and why on earth are you chasing after this nathan person

when you're already dating todd?

Okay, first of all, I'm not dating todd,

and second of all, I'm not chasing him.

I just tracked him down to tell him that
I'm not stalking him.

I'm never getting grandkids, am I?

god.

This is the weirdest day ever,

and I say that knowing that
I have had some very weird days.

Tomorrow's an early day.

Gets earlier and earlier every deer season.

Now all I wanted to do was just tell the guy

that he didn't havto worry about me anymore,
but he ran away.

Used to be you could walk right t back here,

find anything you wanted to hunt.

Now it's an hour drive up to frederick's lake.

I just couldn't let it go.

It's like I-I-I couldn't stand not being paid attention to.

God, I wonder where that comes from.

You know, I got a great deer stand, though.

Gotta get there early so the cheeseheads don't grab it.

Ugh, and the way that I broke down crying again.

I mean, maybe he should be worried.

Maybe i should be worried.

It's like I never know when old sam's craziness
is just gonna bubble up.

It's just...god, it's scary.

Now that is a clean rifle.

Anks for listening, dad.I...

I do feel better.

All right.

You broke into his car?

He snuck out of his apartment.

- Wait a minute.
- What?

You and andrea went out for drinks without me?

You were at swing dancing class.
Now can I just tell the story?

you broke into his car?

He snuck out of his apartment.

It's called a restraining order,
not restraining tip, not restraining advice.

I know, I know,but I just--
I had this compulsion to be heard,you know?

To say, "hey, you. Don't ignore me. I'm here."

Someone has daddy issues.

Who?

Oh. Me? No. What do you mean?

It's your need for attention.

You didn't get enough of daddy's love as a child.

I get plenty of attention from my dad.

I mean, just tonight we were...

just tonight he didn't listen to me at all.

Oh, my god! No, this is not good.

I don't wanna have daddy issues.

- Yes,you do.
- No, I don'T.

I would like to have a good relationship with my father.

No, you don'T. Now you listen to me.

There are a lot of pretty girls.

We're hot. Why? We're damaged.

And you wanting more attention than
you could ever possibly get--

that is your drive. It is why you're successful.

Don't ever, ever fix your daddy issues.

Otherwise, you're just gonna be some woman on a couch

sitting there watching tv next to
your husband eating ice cream sandwiches.

- I want that.
- NO.

where can I get a gun?

Almost anywhere. Why?

Because someone's going hunting.

Right now? Okay.

Speed it up, old man! I'm driving a piece of crap!
What's your excuse?!

I'm gonna put this in the back,

'cause it's just getting in the way up here.

Coffee?

What's going on?

Did you just get home from some club or something?

No, I'm going huntin'.

What do you mean?

Th you.

No. No, sorry. No.

Yes. Why not?

Because I hunt alone...

or with jack bellamy when he doesn't have phlebitis.

But I want us to do stuff together--just you and me.

we do.

I mean, we, uh, we had ice cream together.

Last night we cleaned my rifle.

I mean, we'll do some stuff together later on.

Why don't you just go back to bed?

Okay.

It is sort of early for me.

good night, dad.

Damn it.

Yes! You have to take me.

You've never been hunting your whole life.

You'll shoot your leg off.

Then good luck getting married.

No, but I've been practicing,

and I bought this-this pretty new rifle,

and I went to the gun range,

and then last night I watched this movie called "the deer hunter"

which really wasn't very helpful at all.

Have you heard of vietnam?

I mean, do people know about that?

I don't see this ending well.

You and your father have a perfectly good relationship.

Why screw it up by spending time together?

We do not have a good relationship. We don't talk--

not about anything, and I just think that

if I can do something with him that he loves,

that he and i can finally connect.

No, you and I, we--we connect plenty, thank you.

There is not an amnesia strong enough to

erase the memory of last week's tai chi exercises.

I told you, I thought it was supposed to be done naked.

How long do I have to keep apologizing?

Look, frederick's lake is a whole hour away.

You can talk about whatever you want.

You can even finish telling me about that

really, really interesting dream about
you and samuel L. Jackson.

frederick's lake?

That's neathe outlet mall.

You think they have purses?

Oh, you are so bad. I'll get dressed.

thank you.

All right, not a deer, people! Just a human!

Just a human being coming through! Hey.

Ugh. What the hell are you doing here?

I gotta hunt. I just feel alive when I'm hunting.
Can't explain it.

What you can't do is take "no" for answer.

So I've heard.

Oh. Okay. You wanna hunt?

Let's hunt.

So now what?

Now we wait.

All right.

So, dad--

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, wait a minute. Why "shh"?

It means "no talking. We're hunting."

But I just--

No, I will not "shh."

The only reason that I came hunting is so that we could talk.

That's why i go hunting-- because nobody talks.

Well, you know what? We wouldn't have to talk right now

if you would talk to me or share a single
feeling with me my entire life.

oh, for the love of pete.

mom, I'm kind of in the middle of something.

I don't know if I wear a medium.
I'd have to try it on.

she wants to know if you still wear pleats.

Since when can I have a say in what I wear?

Will you hang that thing up?

- will you two shut up?!
- You shut up! I gotta go.

What do you want from me?

I want a relationship with you.

I'm not a talker, okay?

That's why I married your mother.

She es enough talking for the both of us.

Great. So now I'just this hh-maintenance mess

who's deerate for attention and--and--

and has to stalk all of her old boyfriends.

All I want is some venison stew!

You know what?

- I'm done here. I don't need you or your attention.
- fine.

- Or anything from any man.
- Good.

I do need this. I need it. Okay.

Today

Hunting was a disaster,

so now my dad and I are not only not talking--

we are not talking about not talking. Nice plan, sam.

Maybe if they let you take back the rifle,

you can get a little fishing boat.

get a guy in the middle of the lake,
and he's gonna talk to you

and listen to the song you wrote for him. Ooh!

My dad would jump overboard with an anchor

before he ever talks to me again.

God, he is so stubborn. I just wanna kill him!

oh, my god!

Nathan.

Oh, no!

Get away. Help!

She's got a gun!

No, no, no. It's not-- it's not for--

it's for my dad!

Sorry.

Awhat'd you do?

Tried to win my father's love.

What'd you do?

Broke into a car.

Oh! I can do that.

But I wouldn'T... and I haven'T.

Newly. Your ride's here.

I asked mom to come get me.

I told her I'd do it.

Seat belt.

Radio okay?

Whatever.

hey, sammy, get in.

I called mom to come.

But I said I would.

Just drive, before anyone sees us.

Looks nice.

Oh, my god. They butchered my bangs

on purpose!

I was a shoo-in for homecoming court,

but now I am hideous,

and no one will care that abbkessler went to third base

with the entire varsity soccer team, which she didn't,

but I worked very hard to make sure everyone thought that

she did so she wouldn't win, but now she will!

God, this is why I wanted to go to a good salon in the city.

You want the radio?

Whatever.

oh, my god. I hate this song!

And I hate this car, and I hate your shirt,
and I just--I just...

I wasn't very easy, was I?

What?

As a teenager.

Well, we got along great when you were a kid.

Well, you were daddy's little girl.

but when you got older...

oh, I know.

You went insane.

I know.

Completely nuts.

I said I know.

Those are called feelings, by the way.

Yeah, well, your mother said it was nomal.

but, uh, I just... didn' know what to say anymore.

finally, I guess I stopped trying.

Well, let's make a deal, okay?

I won't try to make you someone that you're not,

and you dot give up on me, okay?

'Cause I need my daddy.

Okay, but no more hunting.

Ecch! God, no.

so I told my dad about being in jail,

and he even asked me questions.

I think that might have been our first actual conversation.

And will you put the bologna down?

Because I'm trying to tell you
why I don't need attention from men anymore.

I heard you. So all the crying was about a bad haircut.

Obviously, you haven't had a bad haircut.

Sure, I just putn a hat.

We're not even the same species.

Hey, frank.

Oh, no, no. My dad's meeting me.

Do you have kids, frank?

A daughter.

Do you tell her you love her?

Well, of course I do, all the time.

Not today.

She was asleep when I left.

Our schedules, you know, they often--

oh, here's your dad.

See you.

Hey.

Got some ice cream.

- Thanks
- Mint chocolate chip, which, if I remember correctly,

was high on your list.

Ah, for pete's sake.

Hey, maddy, this is dad.

So like I was saying, you learn a new thing every day.

Today I learned that you never know
how one thing will affect another.

If I hadn't run into nathan,

I never would have gotten closer with my dad.

I bet nathan would find that interesting.

I should call him.

Samantha Who Season 1 Episode 5