RuPaul's Drag Race (2009–…): Season 12, Episode 11 - One-Queen Show - full transcript

[RuPaul]
Previously on RuPaul’s Drag Race...

You're going to be
making over Drag Race superfans.

-Surprise!
-[screaming]

[RuPaul] Jackie Cox.

I liked it.

There are some looks
that I'm head over heels in love with.

[RuPaul] Heidi Afrodite.

She should have tied in
with some sequins or something.

The family resemblance is kind of missing.

[RuPaul] Jaida Essence Hall.

You are stunning.



Con-drag-ulations, you're
the winner of this week's challenge.

[applause]

[RuPaul] Heidi.

Shantay, you stay.

Jackie Cox.

Shantay, you stay.

[applause]

No one is going home tonight.

[dramatic music playing]

Oh, Lord.

-Oh, Jesus.
-Lord in heaven.

Heidi and I, we were both just given
the double save by Mama Ru.

A genie only gets three wishes,
and I've used up two,

so this third one...
we gotta make it count.



So, bitch, how y'all feeling
about this lip-sync?

[Jackie] I mean,
when I thought I was going home

and Ru saved me...

I felt my entire heart

plummet into the bottom of my feet.

I thought last week I was feeling things,

this week I'm feeling more things.

This is like RuPaul's Therapy Race,
I don't know what's happening to me.

[Heidi] Jackie's feeling positive,

almost like she had
a hepiphany last night,

like the smoke cleared out of her head.

[producer] You said "Hepiphany."

Is it not hepiphany?

-[producer] Epiphany.
-Epiphany.

[producer] It starts with a E, not a H.

I've been saying it wrong this whole time.

Epiphany. Bitch, you learn
something new every day, I guess.

All right.

-That's three wins for Miss Jaida.
-Yeah.

Two back-to-back.

Like, now I've had a win
for a dancing, musical kind of challenge,

I've had a win for an improv challenge,
now I've had a win for a looks challenge.

-She's well-rounded.
-[Jaida] So I'm like, I'm feeling like...

"Bitch, you're showing what you came to do
and the judges are loving it."

Jaida is really starting to inch her way
towards a secured spot in that top four.

I have definitely gotten a wake-up call.

I don't know what's been going on with me,
but I'm gonna snap the fuck out of it.

Honestly, right now I'm a little shook
that we're just right back to six now.

I mean, I know we're like--

Obviously I'm so happy
that you're still here

and I was very sad to,
you know, have expected you to go,

but as soon as she said you were safe,

there was a moment in me where I was like,
"Ugh, really?"

Only because I'm, like...

-[Jaida] Oh, bitch, I was gagging too.
-"OK, now we have to start over again."

-[laughing]
-Oh, I see how it is.

I thought y'all were gonna be happy
that I was still here, but clearly not.

Look, when you send
your friend off at the airport,

that doesn't mean you love them any less.

[laughing]

The more girls who leave and go home,
the closer I get to winning my crown.

But if I have to whoop on these girls
again one more time,

then that's what I'mma have to do.

[dramatic music playing]

See you, love you, though.
[laughing]

[car engine starting up]

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

[RuPaul] The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race
receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics,

and a cash prize of $100,000!

With extra special guest judge,
Whoopi Goldberg.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪

[car tires screeching]

[upbeat music playing]

[enthusiastically] Top six!

-[unenthusiastically] Yay, top six.
-[laughing]

[Heidi] It's a new day in the Werk Room

and she's starting to feel
like a cat with nine lives.

You guys aren't feeling the fire?

You can call me Heidi Ho,
Heidi Doody, Heidi Hutton,

Heidi Heidi Heidi, Heidi Almighty,
and now I'm Heidi Afrodite.

Hello, hello, hello.

-[cheering]
-[RuPaul] Hi.

Ladies,
for today's mini challenge

we're gonna have ourselves
a good old-fashioned bitch fest.

And we're gonna do it with puppets.

[cheers and applause]

-Why?
-[all] Because everybody loves puppets.

God, I've missed this challenge.

[laughing]

Here's how it works.

First you reach deep inside that hole

and pick out a puppet
that represents one of your competitors.

Second, you drag it up.

Third, you and your puppet
have a bitch fest.

-[chuckling]
-Yes.

-First up, Crystal Methyd.
-OK.

No one's been in that hole
for a long time, so please be gentle.

[laughing]

Jaida.

-[laughing]
-Gag.

Up next, Jackie Cox.

I got Sherry Pie.

Sherry Pie.

-It's Heidi.
-I'm wearing those same pants. Oh, God.

Heidi Afrodite.

-I got Crystal Methyd.
-[cheering]

Jaida Essence Hall.

It's Gigi.

[RuPaul] Gigi Goode, go on over.

Dig deep.

Oh, surprise, surprise, Jackie Cox.

Ladies, you've got 20 minutes
to drag up your puppets.

And you can use materials
from the F&S Fabric wall.

-Go.
-[giggling excitedly]

Bitch, I just wanna make sure
I get the fashions right.

[Gigi] You better.

[RuPaul] All right, ladies, time is up.

First up, Crystal Methyd
and her puppet Jaida Essence Hall.

Let the bitch fest begin.

Hey, Jaida, I'm kind of confused.
What is it the essence of?

Girl, I'm confused too,
I don't even know what's going on,

I'm just tryin' to be Jaida me,
I'm tryin' to be myself all the time.

[laughing]

You know, I've gotten
in trouble on the runway

for wearing the same
pair of boots a few times,

but how come you haven't been spotted
for those earrings?

They're the same every time!

[laughing]

That's a low blow. And it's not a fact.

I've only wore the earrings twice.

Shady boots.

Um, look over there.

[laughing]

Bye.

Well, Gigi, that's a lovely dress
you're wearing.

I think you look amazing today.

My mother and I have
a very close relationship.

I love her so much.

We conceptualized this garment.

[laughing]

I love fashion. I love shoes. I'm amazing.

Well, you sound a lot
like Maria the Robot.

I am Maria the Robot.

[laughing]

Hi, Heidi, how ya doin'?

Hi, Sherry. Never-- [screams]

[screaming] My hair! My hair fell off!

[Heidi] Does that puppet
look soft and supple?

The level of disrespect.

[Jackie] Sherry, correct me if I'm wrong,

is this the first time
you're not dressing up as an old lady?

Well, yes, I'm not old,
but I'm from New York.

Sher, I'm from New York too.

Really? I've never seen you
before in my life.

-[laughing]
-[Jackie] Sherry!

Seems you're on the branding.

Yes, my name is Sherry Pie.
That's why I'm holding a pie.

-Force-feeding America! [growling]
-[screaming and laughing]

Sherry, what did I tell you
about chewing the scenery?

Sure.

What's your name again?

[laughing]

Say hello, Jackie.

I commend you on your attempt
to make your makeup better.

Thank you, thank you.

I've tried really dialing it down
on the five o'clock shadow,

as you can see.

I can see that. You've really tried
to cover that up, haven't you?

Yeah.
[chuckles]

[whimsical music playing]

So, where do you live
right now, Jackie Cox?

Well, I'm a current resident
of New York City.

And where are you from?

I'm from Canada. You might know that
from my political debate.

[Gigi] All I want to do

is sink further
and further and further down.

I'm keeping my puppet up high.

Crystal Methyd. Whoo!

Let's talk about
this garment you're wearing.

You know, I just like to go
to the local thrift store and...

just throw it on my body
and hope for the best!

It surely has been working for you.

I think what the judges
are looking from you

is to start relying on what's in your head
and not on what's on your mullet.

[laughing]

You know what, Heidi? I think it's time
for you to go back in the closet.

Thank you.

This is now the Crystal show.
Mullets! Mullets! Mullets!

[laughing]

Ladies, the winner
of today's mini challenge is...

Jackie Cox.

[squeals excitedly]

This is my third mini challenge win.
Does this add up to a maxi challenge win?

Ladies, playtime is over.

But showtime is just about to begin.

For this week's maxi challenge,

your charisma, uniqueness, nerve,
and talent will be center stage

as you create and perform
your own one-woman,

or should I say, one-drag queen, show.

[cheering]

[RuPaul] #DragRace.
Now...

you can play multiple characters
or just be yourself. Anything goes.

Now, you'll be performing
in front of a live audience.

And, Jackie Cox,
you won the mini challenge,

so you get to create the show order.

Ohhh...

Now, later today you'll be coached
by this week's extra special,

EGOT-winning guest judge.

Whoopi Goldberg.

[screaming excitedly]

The Color Purple is
one of my favorite-of-all-time movies.

Whoopi is like some sort
of transcendent deity on like, Earth.

I'm trying to be like a Whoopi.

Now, Whoopi's big break came

when she wrote and performed
her one-woman show on Broadway.

So take notes, ladies.

Gentlemen, start your engines
and may the best woman win.

So listen, since I'm in charge,

the only thing I'm gonna say is
I would like to go first.

Oh.

I just don't wanna
close the show, I'll tell you that.

I think Sherry does not want to go last

because Sherry knows
that the end is usually a bad position.

Nobody wants the butt slice
of bread, I'll tell you that.

-I wouldn't mind going second or third.
-I'd love to go third.

I'm with Jaida, I wanna go
kind of in the beginning, I think.

I would like to go
somewhere in the middle as well.

Girl, not everyone can be in the middle.

So, what are you thinking, boss?

Well, OK, so I think
I'll go first, then Crystal.

-And then, I think, Heidi next.
-I would be OK going third.

And then... Does anyone feel comfortable
closing the show? 'Cause someone's got to.

[awkward music playing]

Jaida, I know you didn't,
like, want to be last.

Girl.

I mean, I don't care at this point.

If it's gonna be funny,
bitch, it's gonna be funny.

-All right, Jaida signed up for it.
-[Heidi] Well, all right now.

So I have Heidi,
followed by Gigi, followed by Sherry,

and closing out the show,
Miz Essence Hall.

Yes.

Poor Jaida.
[laughing]

I know she is not liking that spot.

Especially going after Sherry,
that's a hard spot to fill. [laughing]

Speak now 'cause I don't want
people to come back

and tell me things are shady later.

-I'm OK with my spot.
-[Gigi] Yeah, I think this is good.

OK.

Ooh, Jaida. You in danger, girl.

-Hi, Jackie Cox.
-Hellooo!

[Jackie] It's time for us to meet
with our coaches for our one-woman shows.

And I get to meet Whoopi Goldberg.

[screaming]

-I am beyond thrilled to meet you.
-Oh, thank you.

I'm a huge Star Trek nerd
and I wanted to be Guinan when I grew up.

Yeah!

I do a lot of Star Trek drag,

so performing
for Whoopi Goldberg, I am freaking out.

What are you getting ready to do?

The concept is, um,
Drag Race 101: A Brief Herstory.

-Well, let's get to it.
-[Whoopi] Just do it.

All right.

Look, this show's been on forever,
is anyone watching since the first season?

-Whoo!
-No!

Some of you yes,
some of you no, and that's OK.

Professor Jackie Cox is here.

You know, this show
has been on for 12 seasons.

So much has changed, you know,

starting with this Vaseline filter
that covered the lens that first season.

It was, like, you could barely
make out what was happening.

Um, Jackie, this is gonna
get somewhere soon, right?

Eh... shit.

-We'll get there, I promise.
-All right.

Now, see, what you guys don't know

is when there isn't
a live studio audience here,

this is actually a shark-filled moat.

When any of us wears any amount of green
and we get those eyes from Michelle Visage

and all of a sudden
that shark fin starts bobbing up...

[vocalizing à la Jaws theme]
Duh-nuh... Duh-nuh...

Duh-nuh, duh-nuh--
Don't eat me, shark!

[whimsical music playing]

Shit, shit, shit.
This isn't how I wanted this to go.

I don't know,
there's a disconnect for me somewhere...

-OK.
-...and it's in the humanity of it, I--

I feel like I don't know who you are.

Take yourself out of this stand-up idea.

I don't do stand-up,
because I'm not that funny.

But I can tell a mean story.

And I need to know: who are you?
That's what I want.

What do you want me to know about you?
You got five minutes to make us love you.

I think I try so hard to be, like,
who I think I have to be all the time.

Yeah. And you don't.

And I-- Yeah. And I'm thinking
of everything you're saying

and I'm thinking of all the things
that my mom said to me growing up,

which were the opposite things
of what my dad said to me growing up.

Yes.

And, like, how Jackie Cox is, like,
somewhere in the middle of those things.

Yes!

[RuPau] The truth is,

when people are super vulnerable,
you fall in love with them.

That's the hard part,
is being willing to be honest.

I now need to synthesize
34 years of my life

into a three-to-five-minute story
and make it happen.

Thank you.

I'll take you to a cookout with my family
and how they all act and nonsense

and cutting up and misbehaving.

Oh, are you going to behave
like some of them?

I will be, yes, I'll be trying
to act like my grandmother,

my cousin Slick, lil' Boo Boo,

and I have, uh, who is
the last person? Oh, Uncle Rob.

He's the drunk of the family.

Can we see a little bit of him?

[drunkenly] Hey, party in the house.

What's to eat today-- Uh!

Oh, sh--

[grunting] Oh, God.

-You know, no drunks move like that.
-Right.

[drunkenly] You know,
when people are standing like that...

-Mm-hmm.
-...you're just trying to stay up.

OK.

So you holding out, 'cause you think

the air's gonna keep you
from falling over.

[laughing]

You're concentrating on saying...

[slurred] I'm not drunk.

-[RuPaul laughing]
-I'm not... drunk.

-There you go.
-OK.

If you don't wanna do a character,
but you wanna allude to it,

you just yell, "Shut up, Boo Boo!"

[laughing]

Yeah, that's fantastic advice,

and take your time, let us fall in love
with these characters. Don't rush 'em.

And all the stuff that you wanna
put into everybody's mouth...

now's the time to do it.

[laughing]

I was gonna try a character
that is a male exotic dancer?

-Oh.
-[laughing]

-OK. Are you gonna do it in drag?
-Yes.

Something I've been
struggling with this whole time is

that sometimes I don't go all the way in

and I really wanna make sure
that I make people laugh,

which, that's what
I really like to do, so...

So make it fun for you.

And don't worry about if it's funny to me.

'Cause what's funny to me
may be funny to the person over there,

but not that one.

Yeah.

Can you show us one of the strip moves?

Um, I'm trying to just, like,

really try and, uh,
come up with the movements.

-I don't really--
-How do you think El DeBarge would move?

Um...

probably...

♪ To the beat of the rhythm of the night ♪

[laughing]

It's funny.

Like that.

-So you do have it.
-Yeah.

And you talk about going-- You went there.

Do you know how to do the swim?

Uh-huh. Do you know how to do the jerk?

[both hooting]

Please do that. Please do that.

So I thought of making a psychic goldfish?

-Psychic goldfish.
-Yes. I'm going to...

be dressed all in black, except for here.

-Oh, you're the goldfish.
-Yes.

Oh.

When I turn I'm like...

-[RuPaul] Do you have jokes?
-Yeeesss.

I imagine being like, um,
my name is Madam Bubbles.

I used to be large,

but thanks to Bait Watchers,
I've gotten that down to a medium.

-Uh-huh.
-No?

It's high concept and we,
the audience, we just wanna laugh.

You could be this other character

who channels
the psychic vibrations of the fish.

And that frees you up from having to do
the gills, you know what I mean?

Wha-- It's like I'm not funny at all.

[laughing]

I'm giving you a full-on skit
with a character,

-and telling you a story.
-Really?

-Yes.
-Well, who is this character?

She's a flight attendant
on the plane to Hell.

-[RuPaul] Wow.
-[Gigi] Yes.

-Can we see a little bit of it?
-[Gigi] Yes.

Hi, and welcome aboard Brimstone Airways
flight 666 non-stop to Hell.

That's right. Based on your
track record on Earth,

you've bought yourself
a one-way ticket to your impending doom.

OK.

[chuckles]
Not quite?

It seems a little memorized and... rote.

-Can you put the paper down?
-Sure.

[Gigi] Oh God.
OK, was not prepared for this.

Should have been, but I wasn't.

Hmm...

All right.

Now, for today's flight--
Uh, let me try that again.

I--

I just, I really get caught up in my head
when I have to think on my feet.

So I really wanted to write
an entire script...

-You don't have enough time.
-OK.

So improv. Don't think about it.
Say whatever comes out of your mouth.

[sighs] I don't know.

I had a different impression
of what this challenge was going to be.

[sighs] And I was so confident
about what I came up with and...

I just feel very, um...

thrown off.

-I'm sorry, I'm not--
-[Whoopi] Don't think it.

[Gigi]
I don't feel like I want to get in my head

-about certain things, but--
-[Whoopi] Don't think it, just do it.

[Gigi] Ru and Whoopi... [sniffles]

keep just telling me, like...
[sniffles] you know, just like,

"Think on your feet,
you can do this, it's just improv."

And, like, my mind
just doesn't work that way.

You've already said to yourself you can't.

-I know.
-And you can. You're gonna be fine.

-Thank you.
-Bye.

[Gigi
I just don't know what I'm gonna do.

[sniffles]

OK, so the first time
that my father ever met my boyfriend

was my 20th birthday, I was super excited.

He's coming over, and my father
is giving him a little eye from the side

and I'm like, oh, my God,
I don't know what's gonna go down, but--

Can I stop you?

-You have a tendency to talk really fast.
-Fast. Yeah.

[RuPaul] Give us an opportunity
to fall in love with you

and to see the character
that you're doing.

-Like I said, like, most of everything--
-Slow down.

Yeah. I'm sorry, I just, like...

I always talk really excited,
that's just--

[Whoopi] Yeah.

Like, within my DNA, so I'm trying to work
on making sure that I'm pacing myself.

Think of it as a flower.

It starts to open...

and then there's another part

and then another part

-and another part.
-Yeah.

And it's all of that information
in this small period.

-Yeah.
-That's what this is.

-I know. I see what you're saying.
-Cool.

Do you have any more questions for Whoopi?

Well, you know, I don't even
have questions, it's, like...

[grunts]

I don't wanna get emotional,
but when Ru told us that you would be here

it was, like, miraculous because...

preparing to come here,

I constantly was listening
to The Color Purple soundtrack.

And this competition is almost exactly

like the journey of Celie in the movie.

You go through all these
really, really hard times,

but on the other side of it,
there's so much joy.

So it's like a sign to me that you
would be here today, and I'm like...

-Come here.
-[Jaida] Oh, my God.

-Come here, goddammit. Come here.
-It's just...

-Oh, my God.
-Hi.

For Whoopi to make that kind of connection
with me is just everything right now.

-Thank you so much for that.
-Thank you.

And I just feel like that's a huge sign
that maybe something good gonna happen

or maybe that's a sign
of going home, I don't know.

-A-ha!
-[laughing]

[upbeat music playing]

[in falsetto]
Ooh, it's a-time to make a-magic.

Today we're gonna be performing
our one-woman shows

in front of Ru, Whoopi, and the judges.

I think that other girls don't see me
as a full threat because I'm just...

weird and kooky.

But I have worked my way from the bottom

to a consistent top in this competition,

and I just really want to win a challenge
before the top four is picked.

[Heidi] Is everybody ready and excited?

I don't know, I'm completely changing
my concept from yesterday.

[Gigi] Oh, shit.

[Jackie] Um, and...

we'll see if it works.

And it's probably the most personal thing
I've done so far in this competition.

I'm gonna be doing
some impressions of my parents,

who are total characters
in their own right.

I don't know if my mom is going to love
this impersonation of her.

She doesn't know I do drag.

My mom has said things to me in the past
that have really hurt me in...

profound ways that I think
I'm still not fully healed from.

A big part of that has to do with her
not really accepting that I'm gay.

I still care about what she thinks,

even though I know that I'll never get

a hundred percent of the approval
that I've wanted my whole life from her.

So I've really changed
the whole thing and it's gonna be...

somethin' else. Uh, but I'm excited.

The fact that, you know, like,
we're all doing such different concepts

it's, like, OK, well,
who's gonna be stronger than the other

and what makes it stronger than the other.

I feel like I have so much more work to do
than anybody else in this entire group.

I don't know what to do
with the feedback that I got.

I am terrified.
I don't wanna look like an idiot.

I don't want that
"ru-cu-cu-cu-cu" moment on stage.

[Gigi] It's not until you hear
somebody whose job is literally

to guide you through your own self,

say, "Um, you know,
this does not feel very you."

I think what I do is I convince myself
that the self-doubt is not there.

And it obviously is.

Internally, I compare myself
to others all the time.

I'm always very hard on myself,

that's why I always feel like outwardly
I need to look as pristine as possible.

It's just something to deal with later
that never gets dealt with.

And I think now is the time
to attack it head-on,

because we only get one chance.

And I don't wanna fuck it up.

I'm actually really excited
going into this challenge.

Really, it's just me basically
telling a story about my family.

The hardest part
of this challenge is knowing

that I'm gonna be disowned
by my family at the end of this.

[laughing]

Fun fact, the other day
I just started my very first job.

She's about to go runnin' into one of her
little stories about little Ramseur.

-[Jaida] Oh, bitch.
-The Rose Nylund of the season.

-Am I Rose?
-[Jaida] Who is Rose Nylund?

-[gasps]
-Jaida. Essence. Hall.

[Jaida] What I did?

Is this bitch serious?

-The Golden Girls.
-Oh, OK, bitch.

-Well, look...
-[laughing]

I'm thinking that's some
bitch from New York City they know.

I don't know who that is.

My bad.

Jaida.

Look over there.

-[laughing]
-Bitch.

[dramatic music playing]

["Cover Girl" by RuPaul playing]

[RuPaul laughing maniacally]

♪ Cover girl ♪

♪ Put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe ♪

♪ Let your whole body talk ♪

♪ And what? ♪

Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Look at you, Ru.
What a difference a day makes.

-Yes, little lip gloss and mascara.
-[laughing]

This week we challenged our girls

to create and star in their very own
one-drag-queen shows.

And on the runway,
category is The Color Purple.

[Ross] Ooh.

Gentlemen, start your engines
and may the best woman win.

[cheers and applause]

-Michelle, is that Dahlia?
-Yes.

-She's stalking us.
-Oh.

The Big Pink Furry Box Theater presents

"Jackie Cox: Between Two Parents."

[cheers and applause]

Hello, hello.

Now, it may be hard to believe
from what you see in front of you,

but both of my parents are scientists.

[laughing]

My father is a mild-mannered Canadian
with a very dry sense of humor.

My mother is from Iran
and, like many immigrant parents,

had a very clear list of things
that she wanted me to accomplish

-to fulfill her dreams.
-[laughter]

Top of which is become a doctor.

-And nowhere on this list...
-[laughter]

...was drag queen.

Bouncing between these two households--
my parents clearly did not stay married--

was something that challenged me
in many different ways.

Take my mother for instance.
I'm maybe 12 years old, watching the TV.

[laughter]

[in heavy accent] What is this?

[laughter]

I do not approve
of these "Es-Spice" Girls.

[laughter]

This is too sexy-mexy.

Go to your room and go study
your book on male anatomy.

[in normal accent]
Well, you don't have to tell me twice.

[laughter and applause]

So I hear you are interested
in performing and music and dancing.

I believe in you.

OK, first things first,
we're gonna start with ballet

and then jazz and then tap
and then all of the dancing,

starting from flamenco to salsa.

Dad, this is a lot. I don't know
if that's what I want to do.

But a few years later
I started to get a little bit of an idea.

Me and a few friends sneak out
and we drive down to Chicago Gay Pride.

And that's when I see them
for the first time.

They look eight feet tall.
Giant high heels, giant hair.

These aren't just women.
These are drag queens.

-[applause]
-And I'm mesmerized.

I decide to take home a little souvenir.

A beautiful white feather boa,
with sparkly parts in it too.

I get home, sneak that boa, hide it
up in the topmost corner of my closet.

[laughter]

[in heavy accent] What is this?

[laughter]

If my mom can get past the fact that
I'm a drag queen on national television,

hopefully she'll get over
this impression of her.

And what have I figured out?

Having someone in your corner

who is always cheering you on
and believes in you,

that's love.

And I learned that having someone
who always wants to make sure

that nothing bad will ever happen to you,

that's real love.

And I also learned to hide
that feather boa a little better.

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

Thank you, guys.

[cheering]

I'm a little worried
having to follow this act

because she definitely put
a lot of herself and her heart in it,

and I'm not playing myself at all.

Next, Crystal Methyd

in "Phenomenal Phil:
Exotic Dance Instructor."

-[cheers and applause]
-Thank you, thank you.

-How we feelin' tonight, ladies?
-[screaming and cheering]

[laughter]

All right, well, I'm Phenomenal Phil,
exotic dance instructor to the stars.

[laughter]

I worked with Channing Tatum,
I taught him how to do the Worm.

[cheering]

I've also taught Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
how to do the Sprinkler.

[cheering and laughing]

I even taught Betty White
how to to the Jerk.

[laughter]

Are y'all ready
to start Phil-ing yourself?

[cheers and applause]

I brought you moves
from my dance training DVD Phil Me Up.

[laughter]

This first move is the Litter Box.

[laughter]

Get yourself in the mind of a pussycat.

[laughter]

And then you gotta get
that soiled sand, like, out of here.

-Get it out!
-[laughter]

And then we're gonna dump it, OK?

-[laughter]
-[Crystal] Get it out.

"Phil" 'er up!

-[laughter]
-We're not done yet!

We probably got some on our legs,
so get a little bit of thi-i-i-i-s.

-A little of tha-a-a-a-at.
-[laughter]

[Heidi] All right, Crystal,

she's killing it out here.

[cheering]

We might have to change her name
to Phenomenal Phil after this performance.

This is my big moneymaker.

It's the Brazilian Banana Inspector.

-[laughter]
-Oooh.

Start up and just
find the banana in the tree,

I think they grow on trees.

[laughter]

Pull it down and then you gotta make sure
you work the nips on the way down.

So here, give it a little bit of...
[moans]

-[laughter]
-And a little bit of that.

And then we work it down to the hips.

[cheering and laughter]

[applause]

All right, everybody, I think that's
about all the time I have for today.

I'll be in the back selling my DVD,

but only for about 20 minutes

because I'm performing
at a bar mitzvah later.

[laughter and applause]

Thank you!

Up next, Heidi Afrodite...

[cheers and applause]

...in "Cookout With Your Cheeks Out."

Oh, y'all look so good,
y'all look so good.

I really just wanted to give y'all
some of my hometown living.

The first member of my family
that I want you to meet is my grandmother.

She's the one who raised me,
and she really...

hates everyone.

[laughter]

Let me introduce you to Grandmother.

[as grandmother] 'Bout time
all y'all got here in my house.

Now y'all better stop
openin' up my door and stuff,

I don't pay to air condition the outside.

[laughter]

Oh, Lord, have mercy, here comes Sharon

with that nasty-ass
potato salad. Oh, Lord.

[laughter]

[as Sharon] Hello, hello, everyone.
Oh, how are you all doing?

I brought the potato salad, don't worry.

I'm gonna put it right here in the middle.

[as grandmother] Now, Sharon,
I done told you about that potato salad.

You don't season it,
you don't put the right potatoes in it--

you don't even put mustard in it!

[gasps]

[as Sharon] How dare you
talk about my potato salad?

[as herself]
And there's always Uncle Rob.

The drunk.

[as Rob] Why y'all--
[hiccups]

[laughter]

Why y'all fightin'?

[as grandmother] Rob,
I done told you, take your drunk ass

and sit down somewhere--
always in somebody's business!

[scattered laughter]

[as herself] The party don't start
till Cousin Slick walks in.

[as Slick] Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo,
wassup, cuz? Cuz, yo?

Wassup, wassup, wassup,
yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

Yo, what's here to eat?

[as herself] Aunt Sharon says,

[as Sharon] Oh! You know,
it's my potato salad here.

You know, it's so good--

[as Slick] No, no, no,
Aunt Sharon, no, no, no.

You know, the last time
I had your potato salad-- huh huh!--

I had to blow that bathroom up.

[laughter]

[as Rob] Dumbass. [hiccups]

[laughter]

[as grandmother] Just you wait and see,
Sharon, I'mma laugh right in your face.

[Jaida] Heidi is not giving

what I expected from Heidi.

[as Slick] Yo, yo, yo, I gotta go,
bye, bye, bye, bye. Oh-- Unh.

Baby, the ship is-- It's not sinking...

but it's a few holes in it.

Have a good night, everybody.

[cheers and applause]

The Furry Box Theater presents Gigi Goode

in "Welcome Aboard Brimstone Airways."

[cheers and applause]

Good morning, sinners.

[cheering]

Welcome aboard Brimstone Airways
flight 666 non-stop to Hell.

[laughter]

Right, you all did something in your lives
to piss off the Big Guy upstairs.

I'm gonna let you know why a couple of you
are here, all right? Let's see.

You. You in the front row in this
ripped-up denim jacket, what's your name?

-Derek.
-Gary. Nice to meet you, Gary.

[laughter]

Gary. Your credit score sucks, Gary.

[laughter]

-You, what's your name?
-[woman] Morgan.

I'm gonna call you Karen
from now on, is that OK?

[laughter]

I'm gonna tell you why you're
on your way to Hell, Karen,

it's because you're a goddamned hypocrite.

[laughter]

All right? I see you mixing textiles.

[audience hooting]

He's paying attention.

[laughter]

Give me one second, I'm gonna gather
my extremely important tools.

All right.

If you'll kindly familiarize yourself
with the lack of exits on this aircraft.

You look to my left and right--
that's right, no exits here.

-[laughter]
-OK?

For your in-flight snacks,
we have just one option.

It's peanuts.

[woman] Ahh.

Unsalted peanuts.

-[laughter]
-[Gigi] Welcome to Hell, bitch.

[laughter]

OK, let's see where I'm at now.

All right, so...

I love Gigi's concept, but I'm seeing Gigi

kind of trying to remember her outline,
and keep going back to it

when she's on a roll on different jokes.

OK, all right.

So, when we do land,
something will magically open,

then you'll get off
and immediately engulfed in flames.

So, as stated before,

that tiny piece of fabric
with metal attached to it

is not gonna
protect you from shit, Karen.

-[laughter]
-Or you, Gary.

[laughter]

I see you're wearing
distressed denim. It's 2020.

-[laughter]
-Keep that in mind.

All right, I've just received
word from the Captain

that we are beginning our initial descent.

On behalf of Brimstone Airways,

I want to thank you for choosing us
as your means of transportation today.

And please enjoy your stay in Detroit.

[laughter]

-[applause]
-Thank you, burn in Hell. Thank you.

Go fuck yourself, Gary.

[laughter]

[Gigi] Bye-bye!

Next up, Bubbles and Sherry.

[mystical music playing]

[applause]

[Sherry] Hello, everybody,

my name is Sherry Pie.

That's pie, just like the food group,

and I'm Sherry, with an S,

not Cherry with a C,
'cause Sherry with an S goes shnuts.

[laughter]

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and--
No, there are no children here.

Broccoli, h-how are you?
-[laughter]

I'm here to talk to you about magic.
Magic comes in many different forms.

Now, here, who-- hoo-uhh.

I just had a horrible stroke
and none of you did anything about it.

[laughter]

I'm so scatter-brained, I'm sorry.
I was drinking before the show.

[scattered laughter]

Sherry's one-woman show is hilarious,

but, you know, it's supposed to be

Madam Sherry and the fish Bubbles.

Where is the fish?

Something that a lot of people
don't know about me is that I'm psychic.

With Sherry and Bubbles,
you will...

[spookily] believe in magic.

Oh, my God, you have a cross.
You really believe in magic.

[laughter]

[sighs]
We still going?

All right, everybody
put your hands together

for my co-hostess,
the one, the only Bubbles.

[cheers and applause]

I'm going to need to let you in
on a little secret.

Don't listen, Bubbles.

-[laughter]
-[Sherry] Thank you for laughing.

This is what's called absurd.

[laughter]

What is happening?
I thought we only had five minutes.

[spooky sound effect plays]

Hello.

I'm Madam Bubbles.

[slurring] I am psychic.

Miss Sherry, bitch.

Come on, now, honey.

[laughter]

Eh-- Thank you all so m--

[laughter]

Child, this is going a long time.

Bitch, you do know that I'm next, right?

You're not closing the show.

[slurring] It's really been
pleasure enn...aining you.

[cheers and applause]

Oh, my God, yes, finally!

She was doing a lot.
I don't think it was purposeful, but...

Up next, Jaida Essence Hall
in "The P in Pageant."

[cheers and applause]

Hey, broke bitches,
my name is Jaida Essence Hall

and for those of you who do not know me,

I am a drag queen
and a badass bitch, OK?

-[woman] Yes!
-[cheers and applause]

[Jaida]
And for those of you who do know me,

I am sorry.

[laughter]

I'mma take you all on a tour

of one of the worst experiences
that has ever happened to me in my life.

Now, one time I was hired
to judge and perform at a pageant.

The girls are beautiful, they're
walking around in these beautiful gowns,

and I get a little shake in my right leg.

Child, ooh.

So I look over
for a familiar face. Hey, Ru.

Except Ru happens to be my boyfriend.

He comes on over...

I'm in a situation,
I'm gonna need a little bit of help, OK?

The category is over,
I push the chair back, I start to run.

Baby, I have to piss.

Tap him on the shoulder.
Run into the bathroom.

Oh, y'all are not feelin' it.
That's all right.

[laughter]

That's all right,
we're going on a journey. OK.

Now I'm like, OK, baby.
Help me out here.

I'm pulling up my dress.
He's all on the floor.

He's fumblin' around.

And I'm like, baby, come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on.

And then I stop.

[urination sound effect]

-Uh-oh.
-[laughter]

[urination sound continues]

All I can do is look down
at my man on the floor...

[laughter]

...looking up at me,

covered in urine.

[disgusted cries]

I head back to the judges' table,
the head judge says,

"Please, please, please,
can we get some air freshener over here?"

-Oh, no.
-[audience oohing]

But then he looks over and says,

"These other judges to the left,

they have hot dogs with onions on them."

[woman] Ohhh...

[inhales sharply]
Jaida...

was that the joke?

Look over there!

To me, this was one of the most terrifying
things that ever happened in my life

and sadly, I just played that
in front of y'all

and y'all didn't even laugh
at the shit.

-But that's all right.
-[laughter]

I hope y'all had a great time and that was
the night I put the P in Pageant.

-Thank you so much.
-[cheers and applause]

Terrible.

Terrible, terrible.

Bitch, I fucked up.

["Superstar" by RuPaul playing]

Category is The Color Purple.

First up, Jackie Cox.

[Ross] Her skirt's so short
her lips are showing.

[laughter]

[Ross and Michelle] Ooh.

[Jackie] The first thing I think of
when I hear the word purple is that song.

The one-eyed, one-horned
flyin' purple people eater.

I'm having a lot of fun with it.

[Whoopi] Why is there
a stamp on the tongue?

It's molly.

-Oh.
-[laughter]

-[RuPaul] Molly, you in danger, girl.
-[Michelle laughing]

-You know I wasn't gonna say it.
-[laughter]

[RuPaul] Crystal Methyd.

-[Michelle] How now, purple cow.
-[laughter]

-[Ross] She's making me horny.
-[RuPaul] Ooh.

[Crystal] My inspiration for this look is
Nick Cave, an artist who makes soundsuits,

these beautiful outfits that,
like, move around all cool.

This is just really bizarre
and totally Crystal Methyd.

[Michelle] She's on the rag.

-[laughter]
-Oh, Michelle!

I had to fight that one.

-[laughter]
-I did.

[RuPaul] Heidi Afrodite.

-[Ross] She's eggplant emoting.
-[laughter]

[RuPaul] Take a look at that potato salad.

[laughter]

[Heidi] I'm giving you
purple lace the house down.

You can see all these curves,
these swerves.

You can see all that soft and supple skin.

This is my real body, America.

I don't know why y'all gagging,
I give it to you every time.

Well, not every time.
[laughing]

[Ross] Watch out for Slick.

[laughter]

[RuPaul] Gigi Goode.

-[Scooby-Doo sound]
-[laughter]

[Gigi] Jinkies! We've got
a mystery on our hands.

My look is loosely inspired
by one of my favorite childhood cartoons.

I've got my neck tie,
my cute little green buttons,

I am skipping down that runway
and, girl, I'm giving the judges

their childhood fantasy
they've been looking for.

[RuPaul] And I would have
gotten away with it too,

-if it wasn't for you meddling kids.
-[laughter]

[RuPaul] Sherry Pie.

-The future of fashion is feral.
-[laughter]

[Sherry Pie] Meow.

I am full-on Cheshire Cat fan-ta-sy.

It looks like a big furry tail
wrapped around me.

I just feel like
an Alice in Wonderland fantasy.

[Ross] Do the kitty litter dance!

[laughter]

[Ross] Dump it.

[laughter]

[RuPaul] Jaida Essence Hall.

She's on CP time: Color Purple time.

[laughter]

[Whoopi] Now, where's Oprah?

[laughter]

[Jaida] I feel my fantasy
because I have this beautiful hat,

it's blocking my light

because I don't want
everybody to see all of this face.

The body and this garment
are doing all the work.

I love having money,
I love feeling like money,

and this look just drips money.

[Michelle] She puts the P in purple.

-[laughter]
-[Ross] Michelle Visage!

-Come on, callback.
-[laughter]

Welcome, ladies.
It's time for the judges' critiques.

Starting with Jackie Cox.

Tonight on the runway, you are a one-eyed
one-horned flying purple molly eater.

[laughing] Yes.

That's very not Jackie.

And I like that you took a risk.

It's a skosh craft store,

but, you know, when it's campy like this,
I can forgive craft for camp.

Let's talk about your one-drag-queen show.

[in heavy accent] What is this?

What you were able to do today
was blend comedy with heart.

This was your room to command
and you didn't want to look away.

And that's a good storyteller.

You know, I said to you
once you show that vulnerability,

it allows us to fall in love with you,
and... [soft hiss]

we fell in love with you.

Thank you so much, RuPaul. Thank you.

-Up next, Crystal Methyd.
-Hi.

Let's talk about Phenomenal Phil,
exotic dance instructor.

[laughter]

It was just all so stupid.

[laughter]

Michelle hit the nail on the head.
New level of stupid.

[laughter]

Which is, by the way,
how you win this show.

We were all with you, we were all
kind of learning these dance moves.

-The Cat Box is my favorite.
-[Crystal] Yeah.

[laughter]

Because I saw you
have a good time with it.

And tonight on the runway what I really
loved is the switch-up of the makeup.

You took it into a whole different realm,
and I think that's phenomenal.

[Ross] You have had
a pivot in this competition

where you've really gone
all-in on your weird.

I am weird and, so sometimes
I feel like maybe people won't like that.

-Fuck 'em. Doesn't matter.
-[laughing]

As long as you're having a good time,
we wanna go where you're going.

If you have any doubts
in your head, any insecurities...

dump it.

[laughter]

You got it.

-[RuPaul] Up next, Heidi Afrodite.
-Hi.

-Michelle, don't you just love that name?
-It's the best one out of the last 20.

-Yes.
-[laughter]

I actually really loved your concept
for your one-drag-queen show.

Slick seemed hot, he single?

[laughter]

Trust me, you don't want
none of Slick, trust me.

No? Girl, you don't know my taste.

Here's the deal. I loved that you
tried to do something really big.

It was just a lot.

You've gotta make sure
those characters are so differentiated

that I know exactly
when you're poppin' into Grandma

and I know when you're
poppin' into Aunt, and I--

you know when I'm poppin' into Slick.

[laughter]

Let's be honest, we all know
Slick's doin' the poppin'.

-[laughter]
-[Heidi] OK, let's be honest...

Everybody does start sounding
a little bit like the other one

because in your mind, OK,
you know what they look like.

-But we don't know what they look like.
-Right.

We're taking your word for it.

Tonight on the runway,
I do want to compliment you again,

your face is just looking better each day.

Thank you.

I let you wear my dress tonight...

[laughter]

...and I must say you have to keep it,
because it's gorgeous.

Thank you so much, Miss Goldberg.

Just Whoopi.

You can't have a name like Whoopi
and be called Miss anything.

[laughter]

-Up next, Gigi Goode.
-Good morning, sinners.

I didn't know you were
the Don Rickles of drag.

-Go fuck yourself, Gary?
-[laughter]

It was a completely original idea,

I thought you could have done
a ton more with it.

You felt like you were
nervous to me, Gigi.

I totally understand what you mean.

-See?
-[laughter]

-[Whoopi] See?
-I know.

If you trust your gut,
97 percent of the time

it will lead you in the right direction.

I love this look.

But I'm not surprised by that.

You've got this gorgeous out here, right?
And a weird little mind in there.

Well, thank you.

So, just like we've been able to see
Crystal trust her gut and go all-in

and push that boundary line,

-I want you to do that too.
-Got it.

-Thanks, Karen.
-[laughs] Fuck you.

[laughter]

Up next, Sherry Pie.

Tonight on the runway you look
absolutely stunning. You can really paint.

I want to do those eye--
I think I would scare the women

-at the table.
-[laughter]

Just because no one would
ever understand why I look so good

-and they look like them.
-[laughter]

Fishy Fortunes with Bubbles and Sherry.

The concept was fantastic.

The delivery was fantastic.

If it wasn't an hour long.

I think you clocked in at 17 minutes.

-Did you know it was that long?
-No.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

-I'm so sorry.
-[laughter]

It makes you selfish.

And you're taking time away
from the other girls.

So here's the deal. The Ross Mathews
who has dinner reservations was like,

-come on, let's pick this up.
-[laughter]

But it was so funny because you sold it.

Just let go at about five minutes in.

-A'ight, up next, Jaida Essence Hall.
-Hello.

When we asked for your number one story,
we didn't mean your number one story.

[laughter]

I guess it's better
than your number two story.

-Yes, yes.
-We don't want that.

The best part was when you made fun
of yourself that it wasn't working.

Oh, y'all are not feelin' it.

You know? And I felt like really then
you got the audience back on your side.

-Yeah.
-But you had already given up.

Um, I was like already,
when I started up was like, oh, my God,

was kind of little bit of fatigued.

So I'm like, oh, girl,
we gotta try to go after this and--

-'Cause you waited 20 minutes.
-Yeah.

[Michelle] For real.

-I'm sorry.
-That's fine.

-Did you choose to go last?
-[Jaida] No.

-[RuPaul] So Jackie assigned you last?
-Yes.

I thought you kind of gave up too,
and I was trying to vibe you going...

[singsongy] don't give up.

-[chuckles]
-You're almost there, don't give up.

[in normal tone] So next time,
you know, if it doesn't work,

fuck it, try something else.

Tonight on the runway,
I absolutely love this.

[RuPaul] It looks like
the Paris runway version

of what Whoopi wore on Star Trek.

Thank you, yes.

I did wear this outfit,
but not nearly as well.

My legs were not nearly as long,

'cause my feet are size 11 and I'm 5'3.

-[laughter]
-That's my problem in life.

[RuPaul] Thank you, Jaida.

I just wanna say this,

you six are really
some of the best we've ever had here.

-Whoo.
-I just think you're something else.

You know, I wish you would be
the six forever and ever.

-Aww.
-I really do.

[kisses] Thank you.

All right, now,
while you untuck backstage,

the judges and I will deliberate.

All right, now, just between
us squirrel-friends, what do you think?

Let's start with Jackie Cox.

Tonight her one-drag-queen show
was brilliant from beginning to end.

What I loved most about it
is she didn't try to force jokes.

And her heart was center stage.

[RuPaul] Now, the outfit,
I could see she's trying to do

some type of Moschino storyline,

but it was a little cheap.

-The hairline was down to her eyebrows.
-[laughter]

-Nobody saw that?
-[laughter]

-Do I even know what I'm looking at?
-[Michelle] No, no.

See, this is why I didn't say shit.

-OK, Whoopi, we did. We got you.
-[laughter]

[RuPaul] Crystal Methyd.

If I were standing backstage
and she was about to come out,

I would stop her and say,
"Hey, dear, let's rethink this."

[laughter]

Right? It was just
one of the most unique things

I've ever seen on this stage.

We went wherever she wanted us to go
and we had a good time.

[Michelle] On the runway,
it's totally Crystal.

And it was fantastic.

I just thought
tonight was Crystal's night.

Yep.

[RuPaul] Heidi Afrodite.

-In the challenge...
-[Heidi] Dumb-ass...

[Ross] ...she was barely
keeping her head above water,

but on the runway, she was swimming laps
around some of the other girls.

Listen, I wanna give her credit
for trying to do what she did

because she swung big, but for me,

when she started, right away
I thought, "She's in danger."

I won't do the pun, Whoopi, I promise.

I think had she taken out
maybe two of the characters,

we could have had something

-really compelling here.
-Mm-hmm.

[RuPaul] Gigi Goode.

Tonight on the runway,
we've come to expect this from Gigi,

and she delivered it tonight flawlessly.

What I loved about Gigi's show
is that it was a twisted concept.

The problem was, is she
didn't commit fully to it.

Yeah.

[RuPaul] Let's move on down to Sherry Pie.

-It was an epic yarn.
-[laughter]

[Whoopi] She's one
who has to perform often.

She was like, "Fuck this, I'm talking."

-[laughter]
-There are rules to follow.

But I just thought
you were actually a little harsh.

-Which part?
-Well, when you called her selfish.

-When you--
-It was self-indulgent.

If she was not being self-indulgent,
she would've realized

there was a five-minute cut-off
and there's another girl waiting to go.

-OK, you two, you need to get a room.
-[laughter]

[RuPaul] Jaida put the P in Pageant.

-She put the pee all over the stage, too.
-[laughter]

Tonight her one-drag-queen show
was just kind of cringey.

I bet that story was so funny

when she called her best friend
and told her on the phone.

-Yes.
-You know, "Oh girl, I pissed myself!"

and told this story,
I bet it was hilarious.

Well, because, she probably took her time
and didn't start with the visual.

[RuPaul] But, my goodness,
does she look great tonight.

-That's what perfection looks like.
-Mmm.

[claps hands]
Silence, I've made my decision.

Bring back my girls.

Welcome back, ladies.
I've made some decisions.

Jackie Cox.

-You're safe.
-Thank you.

You may step to the back of the stage.

Gigi Goode.

-You're safe.
-[sighs] Thank you.

[RuPaul] Crystal Methyd.

Con-drag-ulations, you're the winner
of this week's challenge.

[cheers and applause]

[screams excitedly]

-Dump it.
-[laughter]

And you've won a cash tip of $5,000.

-[applause]
-[Gigi] Yass, Crystal.

-You may join the other girls.
-Thank you.

Finally, I won a challenge!

[grunts and screams excitedly]

There could not be a better time.

I... feel... like I can do anything.

Sherry Pie.

-You're safe.
-Thank you.

You may join the other girls.

That means, Heidi and Jaida,

I'm sorry, my dears,
but you're both up for elimination.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me

and save yourself

from elimination.

The time has come...

[thunder rumbling]

...for you to lip sync...

for...

your...

[echoing] life.

[Jaida] America,
I'm not fittin' to go home,

so I'm gonna do
whatever it takes on this stage

to make sure
that I stay in this competition.

Good luck...

and don't fuck it up.

[music playing]

[RuPaul] Whoo!

[laughter]

♪ I was dreaming when I wrote this
So sue me if I go too fast ♪

[cheering]

♪ Yeah-eah-eah ♪

♪ Say, say two thousand zero zero ♪

♪ Party' over, oops, out of time ♪

♪ So tonight I'm gonna party
Like it's 1999 ♪

♪ Let me tell you something ♪

♪ If you didn't come to party
Don't bother knockin' on my door ♪

♪ Got a lion in my pocket
And, baby, he is ready to roar ♪

[Heidi] This may be
my fourth time in the bottom,

but I didn't come here
just to lay down and die.

I'mma slay all day

like it's 1999, baby.

♪ But before I'll let that happen
I'll dance my life away ♪

♪ Say, say two thousand zero zero ♪

♪ Party over, oops, out of time ♪

♪ We're running outta time ♪

♪ So tonight I'm gonna party.., ♪

[Crystal] Jaida is struttin'
all over that stage.

[cheering]

She looks just like Prince, it is amazing.

Um, Heidi is doing her thing,
it is gonna be a tough call.

♪ 1999 ♪

♪ Don't you wanna go? 1999 ♪

♪ Don't you wanna go? 1999 ♪

[cheers and applause]

-[queen] Yass, girls!
-[RuPaul] Whoo!

I gotta catch their breath,
'cause I can't catch mine. Whoo!

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Jaida Essence Hall, shantay, you stay.

[quietly] Thank you.

Thank you so much.

You may join the other girls.

[Jaida crying]

-[kisses] I love you.
-I love you.

[crying]

[breathes deeply]

[RuPaul] My dear Heidi.

No more hiding in closets.

-[Michelle] Yeah!
-[applause]

Now, sashay away.

Thank y'all so much
for seeing something in me

even when I didn't see
something in myself.

[crying]

[RuPaul] You are a superstar.

I think you're probably
the last one to know it.

Start looking at property
outside of Ramseur.

[laughter]

You might want to move
to Los Angeles or to Manhattan,

but let me tell you something.

Kiddo, you're a star.

I'm so excited for the world to see you.

They gonna love you!

Just remember, pay your taxes, OK?

-Oh, OK.
-[laughter]

I definitely will, thank you.

-[applause]
-[Jackie] Heidi!

A small town queen
with big city aspirations.

Watch out, world,
'cause Heidi's coming through.

And remember, if I can do it, so can you.

-[Jackie] Yes, Heidi!
-[cheers and applause]

[Heidi] I've exceeded every expectation.

Really showing that
the small town queen can be fierce too.

I just know all of Ramseur's
gonna be excited.

Hopefully I'll get a key to the city,
fingers crossed.

Thank you
[whistling] so much,

signing off from soft and supple...

Heidi... Somethin'.

[trilling]

[RuPaul] Con-drag-ulations, ladies.

And, remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell
you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an "amen" up in here?

[all] Amen!

All right, now let the music play.

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪

[RuPaul]
Next time on RuPaul's Drag Race.

You've got some big shoes to fill.

And I do mean big shoes.

[Crystal] I don't think anyone

is one hundred percent confident

that they're gonna make it to the finale.

If anyone slips up...

you're out and going home.

♪ I am American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪

♪ Am-Am-Am-Am-Am-American
American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪