Roadkill (2012–2020): Season 1, Episode 1 - Roadkill - full transcript
On the premiere episode of Roadkill, HOT ROD's David Freiburger and Mike Finnegan head to El Paso, TX with money and a mission - to find a car they can buy, fix up, and drive back to Los ...
- I'm Freiburger, that's Finnegan.
This is the show where we play with cars
and you point and laugh.
We call it Roadkill.
(car engine sputtering and turning)
(tires screeching)
(fast heavy metal music)
- What do you do when you've
got 15 hundred bucks cash and
four days off of work?
- Well, a lot of guys would go to Vegas
and blow it on strippers.
But, what we're going
to do is take this dart,
throw it at that map.
Wherever we land, we're
going to buy a car,
get all the way home for 15 hundred bucks.
Not only that, we're going
to put it on E-bay the second
that we buy the thing and
try to get our money back
before we even get home.
- Please, don't hit Mexico.
(car engine running)
- Alright, on you.
Blindfold.
- Oh I don't like where this is going.
(laughing)
Oh dude.
Why does the hairy guy
got to get blindfolded?
Point me in the right direction.
- No!
(laughing)
- Right on the Mexican border.
- I'm not goin' to Mexico.
- Its--
- Suspense is killing me.
(laughing)
- It's Mexico.
No, but you can see El Paso from there.
That's where MSD is.
Todd's there.
He'll help us out.
- Put this back down
and rip it off my face.
- Ohhh!
(laughing)
Is there fur on that?
We're going to El Paso.
Woo hoo!
(car engine running)
(bluesy guitar music)
- We're in El Paso, Texas,
and that's Mexico over there.
And this is my buddy Todd
who works at MSD in town,
and you're going to
show us some junk, huh?
- Yeah, we found some stuff.
We're going to go check
it out, get you a car,
so you can drive home.
- We hope.
- We hope.
- Let's go.
- We'll make it, we'll be fine.
- I think your wagon's
going to make negotiating
kind of difficult.
- We should leave it around the corner.
- Yeah.
- You've sent me links to
this guy's stuff for ever.
I'm kind of actually
excited to actually see it.
You didn't tell us about the hearse.
- Ah, dead people!
(laughing)
Bleh!
- I want to know why they've
got the glass between
the dead guy and the driver.
It's like the New York cab.
- For the smell.
(laughing)
(electric drill zipping)
- There's the hearse, here's the truck.
- I kind of like the
patina, I got to tell ya.
This is pretty nice.
But, he wants 15 hundred bucks for this?
Does the guy deal, I mean, he's
not going to take 800 bucks
for it, is he?
- I don't think so.
- We'll make it home
in this 'cause it's OK.
- It does say that.
- It gives me a lot of confidence.
(electric drill zipping)
- Oh!
Dude, you didn't tell
me about the King Cobra!
- I don't think we're
going to get home in this,
it's missing a few parts.
- This is the Chevelle?
I think we're striking out.
Do you know that this one runs and drives?
- They said they got this one
started but that's about it.
I don't know about drivin' it too much.
(electric drill zipping)
- We need somethin' that just drives.
- We got a couple other things to look at.
The hearse is good, though.
- Stand away from it.
- Somethin's going to hitch hike with us
now that we've been inside the hearse.
- It's hot, I'll give you 15
hundred bucks for the wagon.
- Naw.
- You ever get eaten?
- They have a big dog.
- So how much is this one?
- He was askin' three on E-bay.
- Three?
- Little bit of bondo.
- Look at the rust.
(dog growls)
- Whoa!
Whoa!
Hi doggie.
- Hey buddy.
(laughing)
Do we know this one runs and drives?
- It's been awhile since
they've driven it, obviously.
- Todd, you're failing me.
(electric drill zipping)
We're not finding any cars
where we can get our money back.
- I'm kind of lookin' at it, though, like
we could have either
gone to Vegas and thrown
it down on black and lost our asses,
or we go throw it down on
a car and lose our asses.
It's the same thing.
As long as we have fun.
- But I see, I agree with you.
It's all about the adventure, but
I only want to do that if
the car is cheap enough
that we don't really care
about getting our money back.
What do you think of that
Pontiac for 850 bucks?
(laughing)
The '72 Catalina.
- I like Catalinas.
The ad's not in English (laughing).
Let's go check out the Pontiac.
- Those are some pretty
sweet fake ass hubcaps.
- Did you see the bumper sticker?
- Yeah.
- Have a nice eternity? (laughs)
- I will.
- Okay, so the value of this thing is that
we can probably has the
guy down to like 500 bucks.
And then it doesn't matter
what we flip it for.
We can sell it for $48 on
the way home and we're still
going to come out ahead.
- Out of everything we looked
at, this is the first one
that makes me actually
want to call the guy.
This thing has character and
it might even do burnouts.
Ohh, 400 two jet.
Yes!
- Oh, he said the ignition
switch didn't work.
There's something under the
dash we got to fiddle with
to get it fired up.
- Sounds like fun.
- Push that.
I don't know, go ahead and give it a pump.
There ya go.
Oh yeah, listen to that thing.
- Man, that's one hell of
a car alarm right there.
(laughs)
(electric drill zipping)
- 650 bucks for the Catalina.
We kind of had a language
barrier with the guy,
but we talked this down
from 850 bucks to 650,
and we own it, and it's going
to get us home in one piece.
Anything goes wrong, I blame you.
- As long as you're 50
miles away, I don't care.
- 850 bucks, 850 miles.
The adventure begins now.
- We could die.
- We could die.
This is nice.
(cash register rings)
- There we go.
- Woo!
Candy, 'cause I'm starvin'.
- You spent $2.59 on candy,
$2.15 on toilet paper,
I spent $64.45 on gas.
- Whoops.
- 780.81
(cash register rings)
- That candy was really good, too.
Worth every penny.
If we run out of money, and
we need $2.59, I'm takin' it
out of your hide.
- You have to catch me first.
We all know I run faster.
- Let's go.
(dogs barking)
- It just died and won't fire back up.
I think it's it's the
sock on the pickup tube
inside the gas tank.
I hope we don't have to take
the tank out, now that we just
put 20 gallons in it.
- Me too.
- Can you get the back wheel
up on the curb so it's up off
the ground?
- Yeah.
- You might want to get
in and stop it though.
(laughing)
Get in dude, get in.
Get in the car.
(laughing)
- I'm trying to use a piece of
wire to clear out the plugged
pickup in the tank, but we
don't have anything long enough.
- Three miles down the
road, already broke.
- Okay, I created a gas
leak and this is wet.
- That sounds promising.
Is it in your armpit yet?
- Nope.
- 'Cause that's how you know
when you've got good flow.
- Okay, let's crank.
(engine sputtering)
- Beautiful.
(engine running)
(metal crunches)
- Did I just smash my corner panel?
(laughing)
- Sorry about your curb.
(metal scraping)
- Okay, we stopped to
get some junk so we can
fix the car again if we have
that fuel system problem,
and we're probably going
to get a fan belt, too.
- $25.96 down the toilet.
- Dude, alright, receipt,
give me the cash.
Don't short me.
- Two pennies, four pennies.
Let's ride.
- 755 bucks seems a lot, like
enough money to get home,
until you realize that
this turd is going to drink
a lot of gas.
(bluesy guitar music)
Bean Burrito, $2.50, I'm all over it.
- I could get the Pancho Villa,
which is a steak, for $12.
But, I want a slice of pie.
So I'm going to get a hamburger
instead for $5.95, saving $6.
- I'm going to splurge
on you tonight, son.
- Yeah.
- 20, 30, 40
$743 and some change.
- I thought we had $55, or $755 something.
You've been holding out on me.
What did you buy?
- (laughing) I don't know.
- You've been eating.
You son of a bitch.
- 10 bucks vanished.
(slow country music)
(cash register rings)
- We're loading the car up
on E-bay motors right now.
It's Sunday morning,
so I'm going to put it
on a three day auction.
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, which
is when we hope we get home,
and I hope we have the thing
sold by the time we get there.
- Now, it's only a matter
of time before we achieve
fortune and glory, via E-bay.
- Okay, handle it.
- Off like a prom dress.
(cash register rings)
- Ooh dirt road.
Let's break in the suspension.
- This is the part where the
muffler gets dragged off.
- Yeah.
(elevator music)
(tires skidding)
(upbeat rock music)
We're out in the middle
of nowhere, sort of stuck,
sort of judging by the map and the Iphone.
We know where were are,
but every time we go up a
hill, the carburetor floods,
which is why I have this
implement of bashing,
'cause every time it floods,
the needle and seat sticks.
It's a wonderful thing.
(upbeat rock music)
- I got this.
(engine revving and dying)
(metal clanging)
Okay.
Safe vehicle for desert travel.
Always be prepared.
Gas here is only three bucks.
That's a dollar cheaper than back home.
Oh, and already bid to 355 bucks on E-bay.
Yeah.
We stopped at the old mining
town of Bisbee, Arizona,
which is right down at the Mexican border,
and it's a very historic place.
But this street is like, stopped in time.
And we met some of the guys
that have these buildings,
and they're packed with
cool old cars and bikes.
Studebaker, Hudson
parked next to each other
on the same street.
I've never seen two of these
parked next to each other,
it's amazing, this place that we're at.
(upbeat bluesy guitar music)
- Welcome to Lowell, Arizona.
This little street was
founded in the late 1800s,
and back in the 1970s,
the mines pulled out.
And when the mines pulled out
in the 70's, this whole town
of Bisbee tanked.
This street's called Lowell,
and it's been a long, hard
crawl to get the street
up to where it is now.
And right now, Lowell
is predominantly owned
by the mining company who would love
to knock this street down
and get the ore, the copper,
the gold, and the silver beneath it.
So, we're hangin' in there tight.
There's a lot of love for
motorcycles, a lot of love for old
muscle cars here in Lowell.
My father came here in 1928,
I was born here in 1954,
and I want to welcome
you to Lowell, Arizona.
This is a 1948 Chrysler,
and what's really cool,
when it's cold in the winter,
I can't afford to heat
this whole house,
I'll come out and sit in this
car, make my phone calls,
and do business in the cab.
This is what they call a 841
Indian, and it's a shaft drive.
It's got the same shape
as a Motoguzzi, and again,
that was to fight Rome on the desert.
Very rare.
That's one of the coolest bikes I've got.
When I die, I don't know
who's going to go through
this (hammering), but
it's going to be intense.
- And unfortunately, they'll scrap it.
- Yeah, probably.
- Man, Jay's got a
bunch of bitchin' stuff,
but we got to hit the road if
we're going to get home on time.
We just got another bid.
510 bucks.
- Woo!
We're rich.
(upbeat blusey guitar music)
- Finnigan way overspent on dinner.
- Doesn't matter, this is
still breakfast for tomorrow.
- And lunch, 'cause we
can't afford anything else.
(cash register rings)
(trunk slams)
Ooh yeah! (laughing)
- Wow.
- That right there is
breakfast, lunch, and dinner
for two days.
- That keeps really good.
- Apparently, Pontiac trunk
is not the best refrigerator.
Okay, last night, (laughing)
we stayed in a hotel
that I swear looked like
they had spray painted
over a triple homicide.
It was so bad.
- That wasn't a hotel, dude.
- It wasn't.
- It was a hostel.
- And we paid $45 for the
privilege of staying there.
I dropped six cents,
and as I've noted here,
"Dropped on hotel floor,
refused to pick it up."
So, we lost six cents as well.
- It's stuck to the floor.
It was that dirty.
- It was gross.
- Here, let's put this back in here.
- Put that in the fridge.
- Back in the 'frigerator.
(cash register rings)
Our vacation has been so killer thus far,
that we're feelin' froggy.
We're going to spend almost
the last of our money
rentin' four wheelers in Yuma,
Arizona, to have some fun,
and then, we're going to bonzai home.
(engines rev)
(upbeat rock music)
Gassin' the quads up, two
corn dogs for me, leaves us
$105.42.
- And it's 288 miles home.
- We're like 40 bucks short to get home.
- No.
- Yeah.
But, if we go 287 divided by
12 miles to the gallon,
92.
- So we have to drive
for economy, is the key.
- Yeah, we drive for economy,
we're going to get home with
like nine bucks to spare.
- So we're going to have to
eat the pizza for dinner.
- We get to eat the pizza for dinner.
(sniffing)
You're going to die, Holmes.
You had to ride dirt bikes, didn't you?
- No, you did (laughing).
- Remember, drive efficiently.
(cash register rings)
(upbeat rock music)
- We just rolled from
Yuma, Arizona, to San Diego
on highway eight.
We have almost no money left.
I don't know if we're
going to make it on gas,
and I'm way too competitive
to lose this deal.
So, we're going to find
some parts that we got
at the parts store and
we're going to return 'em
so we can get a couple bucks back.
We are going to get back $25.96.
The magic number, it's going to save us.
- (laughing) Yes!
Not only are we making it
home, but I'm going to order
off the value menu.
Gettin' dinner.
(cash register rings)
- We have to drive another
131 miles, so this tank of gas
should do it, unless we have a disaster.
You planning on a disaster?
- I'm claiming a win right now.
- Don't do it.
We did it!
We ended up on the road
only three days because
we blew a bunch of money
riding ATVs, but we bought
a junk car and hobbled it
home, off road, rode ATVs,
I sold the car on E-bay for $520.
You take out the E-bay fees and stuff,
basically, that adventure
cost us about 1,050 bucks.
- Which means, we've
got 300, 400ish dollars
to go somewhere else, now.
- What's your plan?
- I like Alaska.
- That's perfectly reasonable (laughing),
let's go!
- Alright.
(engine turning)
- Might as well fill
until it leaks everywhere
and catches on fire.
Well, as per usual, we're
moments away from leaving
the Sand Dunes, and I
managed to break my ATV.
This is carburetor, this
is motor, this is gap.
Ruh roh!
(engines running loudly)
This is the show where we play with cars
and you point and laugh.
We call it Roadkill.
(car engine sputtering and turning)
(tires screeching)
(fast heavy metal music)
- What do you do when you've
got 15 hundred bucks cash and
four days off of work?
- Well, a lot of guys would go to Vegas
and blow it on strippers.
But, what we're going
to do is take this dart,
throw it at that map.
Wherever we land, we're
going to buy a car,
get all the way home for 15 hundred bucks.
Not only that, we're going
to put it on E-bay the second
that we buy the thing and
try to get our money back
before we even get home.
- Please, don't hit Mexico.
(car engine running)
- Alright, on you.
Blindfold.
- Oh I don't like where this is going.
(laughing)
Oh dude.
Why does the hairy guy
got to get blindfolded?
Point me in the right direction.
- No!
(laughing)
- Right on the Mexican border.
- I'm not goin' to Mexico.
- Its--
- Suspense is killing me.
(laughing)
- It's Mexico.
No, but you can see El Paso from there.
That's where MSD is.
Todd's there.
He'll help us out.
- Put this back down
and rip it off my face.
- Ohhh!
(laughing)
Is there fur on that?
We're going to El Paso.
Woo hoo!
(car engine running)
(bluesy guitar music)
- We're in El Paso, Texas,
and that's Mexico over there.
And this is my buddy Todd
who works at MSD in town,
and you're going to
show us some junk, huh?
- Yeah, we found some stuff.
We're going to go check
it out, get you a car,
so you can drive home.
- We hope.
- We hope.
- Let's go.
- We'll make it, we'll be fine.
- I think your wagon's
going to make negotiating
kind of difficult.
- We should leave it around the corner.
- Yeah.
- You've sent me links to
this guy's stuff for ever.
I'm kind of actually
excited to actually see it.
You didn't tell us about the hearse.
- Ah, dead people!
(laughing)
Bleh!
- I want to know why they've
got the glass between
the dead guy and the driver.
It's like the New York cab.
- For the smell.
(laughing)
(electric drill zipping)
- There's the hearse, here's the truck.
- I kind of like the
patina, I got to tell ya.
This is pretty nice.
But, he wants 15 hundred bucks for this?
Does the guy deal, I mean, he's
not going to take 800 bucks
for it, is he?
- I don't think so.
- We'll make it home
in this 'cause it's OK.
- It does say that.
- It gives me a lot of confidence.
(electric drill zipping)
- Oh!
Dude, you didn't tell
me about the King Cobra!
- I don't think we're
going to get home in this,
it's missing a few parts.
- This is the Chevelle?
I think we're striking out.
Do you know that this one runs and drives?
- They said they got this one
started but that's about it.
I don't know about drivin' it too much.
(electric drill zipping)
- We need somethin' that just drives.
- We got a couple other things to look at.
The hearse is good, though.
- Stand away from it.
- Somethin's going to hitch hike with us
now that we've been inside the hearse.
- It's hot, I'll give you 15
hundred bucks for the wagon.
- Naw.
- You ever get eaten?
- They have a big dog.
- So how much is this one?
- He was askin' three on E-bay.
- Three?
- Little bit of bondo.
- Look at the rust.
(dog growls)
- Whoa!
Whoa!
Hi doggie.
- Hey buddy.
(laughing)
Do we know this one runs and drives?
- It's been awhile since
they've driven it, obviously.
- Todd, you're failing me.
(electric drill zipping)
We're not finding any cars
where we can get our money back.
- I'm kind of lookin' at it, though, like
we could have either
gone to Vegas and thrown
it down on black and lost our asses,
or we go throw it down on
a car and lose our asses.
It's the same thing.
As long as we have fun.
- But I see, I agree with you.
It's all about the adventure, but
I only want to do that if
the car is cheap enough
that we don't really care
about getting our money back.
What do you think of that
Pontiac for 850 bucks?
(laughing)
The '72 Catalina.
- I like Catalinas.
The ad's not in English (laughing).
Let's go check out the Pontiac.
- Those are some pretty
sweet fake ass hubcaps.
- Did you see the bumper sticker?
- Yeah.
- Have a nice eternity? (laughs)
- I will.
- Okay, so the value of this thing is that
we can probably has the
guy down to like 500 bucks.
And then it doesn't matter
what we flip it for.
We can sell it for $48 on
the way home and we're still
going to come out ahead.
- Out of everything we looked
at, this is the first one
that makes me actually
want to call the guy.
This thing has character and
it might even do burnouts.
Ohh, 400 two jet.
Yes!
- Oh, he said the ignition
switch didn't work.
There's something under the
dash we got to fiddle with
to get it fired up.
- Sounds like fun.
- Push that.
I don't know, go ahead and give it a pump.
There ya go.
Oh yeah, listen to that thing.
- Man, that's one hell of
a car alarm right there.
(laughs)
(electric drill zipping)
- 650 bucks for the Catalina.
We kind of had a language
barrier with the guy,
but we talked this down
from 850 bucks to 650,
and we own it, and it's going
to get us home in one piece.
Anything goes wrong, I blame you.
- As long as you're 50
miles away, I don't care.
- 850 bucks, 850 miles.
The adventure begins now.
- We could die.
- We could die.
This is nice.
(cash register rings)
- There we go.
- Woo!
Candy, 'cause I'm starvin'.
- You spent $2.59 on candy,
$2.15 on toilet paper,
I spent $64.45 on gas.
- Whoops.
- 780.81
(cash register rings)
- That candy was really good, too.
Worth every penny.
If we run out of money, and
we need $2.59, I'm takin' it
out of your hide.
- You have to catch me first.
We all know I run faster.
- Let's go.
(dogs barking)
- It just died and won't fire back up.
I think it's it's the
sock on the pickup tube
inside the gas tank.
I hope we don't have to take
the tank out, now that we just
put 20 gallons in it.
- Me too.
- Can you get the back wheel
up on the curb so it's up off
the ground?
- Yeah.
- You might want to get
in and stop it though.
(laughing)
Get in dude, get in.
Get in the car.
(laughing)
- I'm trying to use a piece of
wire to clear out the plugged
pickup in the tank, but we
don't have anything long enough.
- Three miles down the
road, already broke.
- Okay, I created a gas
leak and this is wet.
- That sounds promising.
Is it in your armpit yet?
- Nope.
- 'Cause that's how you know
when you've got good flow.
- Okay, let's crank.
(engine sputtering)
- Beautiful.
(engine running)
(metal crunches)
- Did I just smash my corner panel?
(laughing)
- Sorry about your curb.
(metal scraping)
- Okay, we stopped to
get some junk so we can
fix the car again if we have
that fuel system problem,
and we're probably going
to get a fan belt, too.
- $25.96 down the toilet.
- Dude, alright, receipt,
give me the cash.
Don't short me.
- Two pennies, four pennies.
Let's ride.
- 755 bucks seems a lot, like
enough money to get home,
until you realize that
this turd is going to drink
a lot of gas.
(bluesy guitar music)
Bean Burrito, $2.50, I'm all over it.
- I could get the Pancho Villa,
which is a steak, for $12.
But, I want a slice of pie.
So I'm going to get a hamburger
instead for $5.95, saving $6.
- I'm going to splurge
on you tonight, son.
- Yeah.
- 20, 30, 40
$743 and some change.
- I thought we had $55, or $755 something.
You've been holding out on me.
What did you buy?
- (laughing) I don't know.
- You've been eating.
You son of a bitch.
- 10 bucks vanished.
(slow country music)
(cash register rings)
- We're loading the car up
on E-bay motors right now.
It's Sunday morning,
so I'm going to put it
on a three day auction.
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, which
is when we hope we get home,
and I hope we have the thing
sold by the time we get there.
- Now, it's only a matter
of time before we achieve
fortune and glory, via E-bay.
- Okay, handle it.
- Off like a prom dress.
(cash register rings)
- Ooh dirt road.
Let's break in the suspension.
- This is the part where the
muffler gets dragged off.
- Yeah.
(elevator music)
(tires skidding)
(upbeat rock music)
We're out in the middle
of nowhere, sort of stuck,
sort of judging by the map and the Iphone.
We know where were are,
but every time we go up a
hill, the carburetor floods,
which is why I have this
implement of bashing,
'cause every time it floods,
the needle and seat sticks.
It's a wonderful thing.
(upbeat rock music)
- I got this.
(engine revving and dying)
(metal clanging)
Okay.
Safe vehicle for desert travel.
Always be prepared.
Gas here is only three bucks.
That's a dollar cheaper than back home.
Oh, and already bid to 355 bucks on E-bay.
Yeah.
We stopped at the old mining
town of Bisbee, Arizona,
which is right down at the Mexican border,
and it's a very historic place.
But this street is like, stopped in time.
And we met some of the guys
that have these buildings,
and they're packed with
cool old cars and bikes.
Studebaker, Hudson
parked next to each other
on the same street.
I've never seen two of these
parked next to each other,
it's amazing, this place that we're at.
(upbeat bluesy guitar music)
- Welcome to Lowell, Arizona.
This little street was
founded in the late 1800s,
and back in the 1970s,
the mines pulled out.
And when the mines pulled out
in the 70's, this whole town
of Bisbee tanked.
This street's called Lowell,
and it's been a long, hard
crawl to get the street
up to where it is now.
And right now, Lowell
is predominantly owned
by the mining company who would love
to knock this street down
and get the ore, the copper,
the gold, and the silver beneath it.
So, we're hangin' in there tight.
There's a lot of love for
motorcycles, a lot of love for old
muscle cars here in Lowell.
My father came here in 1928,
I was born here in 1954,
and I want to welcome
you to Lowell, Arizona.
This is a 1948 Chrysler,
and what's really cool,
when it's cold in the winter,
I can't afford to heat
this whole house,
I'll come out and sit in this
car, make my phone calls,
and do business in the cab.
This is what they call a 841
Indian, and it's a shaft drive.
It's got the same shape
as a Motoguzzi, and again,
that was to fight Rome on the desert.
Very rare.
That's one of the coolest bikes I've got.
When I die, I don't know
who's going to go through
this (hammering), but
it's going to be intense.
- And unfortunately, they'll scrap it.
- Yeah, probably.
- Man, Jay's got a
bunch of bitchin' stuff,
but we got to hit the road if
we're going to get home on time.
We just got another bid.
510 bucks.
- Woo!
We're rich.
(upbeat blusey guitar music)
- Finnigan way overspent on dinner.
- Doesn't matter, this is
still breakfast for tomorrow.
- And lunch, 'cause we
can't afford anything else.
(cash register rings)
(trunk slams)
Ooh yeah! (laughing)
- Wow.
- That right there is
breakfast, lunch, and dinner
for two days.
- That keeps really good.
- Apparently, Pontiac trunk
is not the best refrigerator.
Okay, last night, (laughing)
we stayed in a hotel
that I swear looked like
they had spray painted
over a triple homicide.
It was so bad.
- That wasn't a hotel, dude.
- It wasn't.
- It was a hostel.
- And we paid $45 for the
privilege of staying there.
I dropped six cents,
and as I've noted here,
"Dropped on hotel floor,
refused to pick it up."
So, we lost six cents as well.
- It's stuck to the floor.
It was that dirty.
- It was gross.
- Here, let's put this back in here.
- Put that in the fridge.
- Back in the 'frigerator.
(cash register rings)
Our vacation has been so killer thus far,
that we're feelin' froggy.
We're going to spend almost
the last of our money
rentin' four wheelers in Yuma,
Arizona, to have some fun,
and then, we're going to bonzai home.
(engines rev)
(upbeat rock music)
Gassin' the quads up, two
corn dogs for me, leaves us
$105.42.
- And it's 288 miles home.
- We're like 40 bucks short to get home.
- No.
- Yeah.
But, if we go 287 divided by
12 miles to the gallon,
92.
- So we have to drive
for economy, is the key.
- Yeah, we drive for economy,
we're going to get home with
like nine bucks to spare.
- So we're going to have to
eat the pizza for dinner.
- We get to eat the pizza for dinner.
(sniffing)
You're going to die, Holmes.
You had to ride dirt bikes, didn't you?
- No, you did (laughing).
- Remember, drive efficiently.
(cash register rings)
(upbeat rock music)
- We just rolled from
Yuma, Arizona, to San Diego
on highway eight.
We have almost no money left.
I don't know if we're
going to make it on gas,
and I'm way too competitive
to lose this deal.
So, we're going to find
some parts that we got
at the parts store and
we're going to return 'em
so we can get a couple bucks back.
We are going to get back $25.96.
The magic number, it's going to save us.
- (laughing) Yes!
Not only are we making it
home, but I'm going to order
off the value menu.
Gettin' dinner.
(cash register rings)
- We have to drive another
131 miles, so this tank of gas
should do it, unless we have a disaster.
You planning on a disaster?
- I'm claiming a win right now.
- Don't do it.
We did it!
We ended up on the road
only three days because
we blew a bunch of money
riding ATVs, but we bought
a junk car and hobbled it
home, off road, rode ATVs,
I sold the car on E-bay for $520.
You take out the E-bay fees and stuff,
basically, that adventure
cost us about 1,050 bucks.
- Which means, we've
got 300, 400ish dollars
to go somewhere else, now.
- What's your plan?
- I like Alaska.
- That's perfectly reasonable (laughing),
let's go!
- Alright.
(engine turning)
- Might as well fill
until it leaks everywhere
and catches on fire.
Well, as per usual, we're
moments away from leaving
the Sand Dunes, and I
managed to break my ATV.
This is carburetor, this
is motor, this is gap.
Ruh roh!
(engines running loudly)