Rick and Morty (2013–…): Season 3, Episode 8 - Morty's Mind Blowers - full transcript
Rick reveals to Morty his "Morty's mind blowers," a collection of memories Morty asked Rick to erase from his mind.
Morty, hurry!
Return the Truth Tortoise!
Morty, whatever you do,
don't drop the Truth Tortoise!
Also really important,
whatever you do,
don't look into its eyes!
I... I did look at it, Rick!
I've been looking at it!
Now you're gonna know
everything, Morty!
- Good job! Way to go!
- You everything up!
It's in my head!
Ah!
Oh, geez, I... I can't get that
Truth Tortoise out of my head.
Yeah, I told you not
to look into its eyes.
Hey, Morty, let's watch some
interdimensional cable.
Remember how we used to do that?
Rick, I can't...
I can't go on.
I-I can't go on like this with the
Truth Tortoise shit in my head.
I-I wish you could just...
Erase the memory from your mind?
How did you know
I was gonna say that?
Come on, Morty, come with me.
After you.
What the hell is this?!
This, Morty, is my archive
of all the experiences
you've begged me to remove
from your life,
lest you go insane.
I call them
Morty's Mind Blowers.
And we'll be doing this instead
of interdimensional cable.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
*RICK and MORTY*
Season 03 Episode 08
Title: "Morty's Mind Blowers"
How long have I been asking you
to remove memories?
Since the first time
your mind was blown.
Ahh, here it is.
Classic.
There's no dust on it because
this isn't the first time
we've done this.
- What?!
- I call this one "Moonspiracy"!
Huh, wow.
That's incredible.
What the heck?
Morty, do you realize how
ridiculous that sounds?
Yeah, pretty crazy story, Morty.
Are you serious?
Half the crap we've seen,
and you think that sounds crazy?
I've been to 300 versions
of Earth's moon,
including this one,
and I've never seen signs
of a "regular dude,"
as you describe him,
hanging out up there.
It's probably just
a smudge on the lens.
Smudge on the lens?
Smudge on the lens?!
I know the difference between
a man threatening me
and a smudge on
the goddamn lens, Summer!
Morty, calm down!
Are you feeling okay?
I'm fine!
So sensitive.
Kids, I'd like to introduce you all
to our new guidance counselor,
Mr. Lunas.
I look forward
to helping guide you all
towards a brighter future.
I believe every
student should...
shoot for the moon.
♪♪
Got you now, you son of a bitch.
What's this?
Proof that Mr. Lunas
isn't who he says he is!
He's not a guidance counselor?
I... I assume he's qualified
to be one, who isn't?
But he also lives on the moon.
Okay.
Hmm.
Is that it?
Is he doing anything
to hurt anyone?
Oh, he's up to something.
I think I understand.
"Up to something,"
"lives on the moon."
Okay, I'll talk to him.
What did he say?
Denied the moon stuff,
but that's what pedophiles do,
they deny,
it's their bread and butter.
- Pedophile?
- You don't think so?
I thought the moon thing
might have been code.
No, he's literally
from the moon!
Well, you saw him react.
Moon or not,
that dude likes 'em young.
Gordon Lunas was a good Marine.
We don't know what drove
him to take his own life,
but we want to remember
the good things.
Like how, from a certain angle,
some people would say
he looked like a smudge.
Oh, my God, what have I done?
What have I done?
Jesus, I made that guy
kill himself!
Only in a literal sense.
Here's one I call
"Morty's Menagerie."
They don't all
have titles, though.
It's not a "Simpsons"
Halloween special,
more like a clip show made
of clips you never saw!
I can't believe we got
put into a menagerie.
So this guy collects
living beings?
Yeah, you know like
commemorative plates,
but less off-putting.
You'll get it when you're still
actively dating in your 40s.
Assess this with
cold indifference,
you beany-headed prick!
Hey, keep it down!
Just our luck, menagerie beneath
the "boulder people"
of Granitor Seven.
I can't take it anymore, Rick!
Relax, Morty!
I can't relax! R-R-Rick, we...
We gotta get outta here!
I don't care what it takes!
Anything!
- Anything?
- Anything!
All right, well, you're gonna
have to take off your shirt.
Not yet.
I'll tell you when.
Dear God.
What?
The signal
turned out to be...
There's no other way
to put it...
- Instructions.
- For?
A vehicle, sir,
an interstellar vehicle.
We'll need a pilot.
I wonder if there's a volunteer.
Mm.
Oh, the schematics specify
a second, smaller pilot.
I mean, they really
specify smaller.
They have to be exactly 5'3".
Chang, you may have majored
in Liberal Arts,
but I think you're about
to make history.
Primary systems, check.
Auxiliary systems, check.
See you soon.
Okay, now.
Greetings.
- You're...
- You look...
We've possessed forms
your mind can accept.
Here are some customary
clothing gifts.
Please, put them on.
- May we?
- Of course, yes.
We followed your instructions.
We have so much
to learn from you.
I know, right?
Hey, how come I was able to see
those other people's memories?
I... I wouldn't have been
around for that.
Yeah, sometimes I gotta do
a little editing, Morty.
It helps the mind blowers
play a little bit better
upon revisiting.
I call this one
"The Whole Enchilada.
Here, Morty, this'll make
your urine drinkable.
Now can we keep shopping?
I am Zikzak.
- Ah, shit, Morty, get behind me.
- It's a alien overlord!
It's okay.
Here.
Oh, I misjudged.
"I am Floop Floopian.
Please kill me."
That's right, Morty.
The Floop Floopians achieve
an eternal orgasmic afterlife,
so long as they're killed
by a great warrior.
I'm flattered, by the way.
Thank you very much.
So you're gonna kill him?
Eh, let's get some lunch first.
♪♪
So, you want to get shot
in the head, or...
Well, as long as
the wound is fatal,
I don't really mind
where you shoot me.
Cool.
I'm gonna go take a quick shit.
Well, I gotta say.
You know, I'm a little envious.
Your species has
an actual afterlife.
- That's gotta be nice.
- Wh-What do you mean?
Well, you know, here on Earth,
w-we don't know what's going on.
It must be nice for you guys to,
you know, have that...
Have that proof's in
the pudding, you know, evidence.
Evidence?
There's supposed to be evidence?
Um, yeah, uh...
otherwise,
how do you know if it's true?
Wait, you don't...
All right, so you want to do
this here or outside?
Run!
I don't wanna die!
Oh, God, it's all real!
Oh, it hurts!
Oh, I shouldn't have doubted it!
I shouldn't have let
you make me doubt it!
Aah!
I blame you, I blame you!
But he said there
wasn't any evidence!
That was a ton of evidence!
Well, silver lining.
Now I know their
religion's real.
They have a hell,
and it does not look good.
I noticed you never finished
your chimichanga,
so I got some room for it now,
if you know what I mean.
Holy!
How many of these are just
horrible mistakes I've made?
I mean, maybe
I'd stop making so many
if I let myself learn from them!
Don't break your back
creating a lesson, Morty.
It's a freeform anthology.
I'm getting annoyed
you're not hearing that.
As you can see around me,
your mind's been blown
countless times,
and not always by yourself.
Ah, ,
I don't even...
This better not
have been a good one.
What is this?
Great, "Booger AIDS,"
"AIDS Booger."
I gotta start using
real file names.
In the meantime,
enjoy a grab bag
of mind blowers I call
"Poop AIDS underscore copy."
I'm not an unreasonable man,
Beth Smith.
I know children are everything
to a mammal.
I will spare one of their lives.
You simply have to choose.
- Summer!
- Summer.
♪♪
You're not gonna believe this.
I went to Phoebe
instead of Titan.
It's, like, hello, Saturn,
after ten moons,
time to stop naming and start
numbering, you know?
What's... Wh-What's with you
assholes?
Morty, please, don't do this.
Your Morty is gone!
I am Voltamatron,
Destroyer of Worlds!
Grandpa Rick, there must be some
scientific way to save him!
Not scientific,
but there may be a way.
Morty, I know you're in there.
It's me, your grandpa.
I know I can be mean,
but I love you, Morty.
We all do,
you gotta fight this thing.
I know you can.
You're stronger than all of us!
Morty, it's mom! We love you,
you have to fight it!
Come on, Morty!
Fight that stupid worm thing!
We love you!
We love you so much!
Yes, Morty, come on,
you're doing it!
You're doing it!
You're doing it!
Should we pull it out?
No, don't touch it.
Just keep loving Morty!
We still love you.
But I do have
a thing at 6:00.
Oh, God, do I have
to keep looking?
Geez, Morty, come on,
pinch it off already!
Don't! Oh, God, sorry, Morty,
I love you!
God, is there going
to be an intermission?
Excuse me, but I ordered
the large evil space worm.
I know, it's like,
is that a demon slug
in your stomach,
or are you just happy to...
Sorry!
Well, I guess it's nice to know
the whole family sucks!
So if the blues ones
are my fault,
and the purple ones are my
family's, what are the red ones?
Yeah, d-don't read
into it, Morty!
Ahh.
We need to find shelter
before the sunset, Morty.
Venzenulon Nine has a night
temperature of 300 below!
We'll freeze, Morty!
W-We'll be dead in seconds!
I... I think I saw
a cave over there.
You've seen
too many movies, Morty.
A cave isn't gonna cut it.
We're gonna have to use Beebo.
Beebo led us to water!
He's our friend!
- He won't even feel it!
- Oh, no, no!
You wanna die, Morty?
Get in Beebo!
Oh, no, no!
Brace for the ice limit.
Here it comes!
Wait, are we on Venzenulon Nine
or Venzenulon Seven?
Wait a minute, why would I ask
for that to be removed?
Are the red ones stuff
you wanted removed?
Ooh, that's clever, Morty, but I
don't use color to sort things
because I'm not a mouse in
a European children's book.
Then why are all those
pink ones by the liquor?
Liquor?
That was close.
We lost Captain Sky.
He gave his life
for the uprising.
Yeah. It really makes
you think, huh, Morty?
We should never take
things for granite.
- What?
- I'm just saying, life's short.
We shouldn't take things
for granite.
- Are you saying "granite"?
- Well, yeah.
It's "granted,"
with a "D."
Take things for granted.
Did you actually think it was...
Jesus Christ, Rick,
what are you, a boulder...
A rock person?
How long have you been saying
that wrong?
Oh, you like that, huh?
I b-b-bet that really
blows your mind.
I mean, yeah,
it's kind of great.
- You want me to erase it?
- What, you can do that?
Ah,.
I knew it,
you piece of!
- You... You...
- You're a asshole, Rick!
Take it easy, Morty, come on.
Just relax.
No, I'm not gonna relax!
Come here!
Let go of me, you little bitch!
I'm gonna grab you by the
scruff of your... Take that!
Ohh!
- Umm.
- Umm. Uhh.
- What...
- What's going on?
- Where am I?
- Who are we?
Who am I?
I think I'm an adolescent boy.
Huh, and I'm an elderly man.
And we appear to be in some kind
of secret confined space.
Yeah, umm...
Don't look at me like that.
For all we know, you could be
the weirdo.
Huh, these things are
obviously storage units,
and since we can't remember
what went wrong,
my guess is that the technology
involves memory,
and that this thing on your head
is designed to...
Tell us the code, Jagoff!
It's pointless.
He's stonewalling.
Rick, if we don't unlock those
vaccines, Earth dies!
You know, it might be time to
step up your interrogation!
Not sure what
you're implying, Morty,
but some lines I don't cross.
Yeah, well,
I crossed every line I had
when this bastard
tried to kill Jessica!
Okay, see those two fleshy sacs
under his chin, Morty?
Grab 'em.
You remember the codes now?
Twist!
Give us the codes, man!
Twist harder, Morty!
Harder!
Okay, let go, let go,
let him breathe.
He wants to make a deal.
Half the codes now,
half after you finish.
But can we trust...
Wait, what?
F-Finish what?
Y-You know...
I thought I was torturing him!
Oh, and this disappoints you?
Do I tell him we don't
have a deal, Morty?
Because if we can
kill our enemies,
but we can't jack them off, then
how are we better than them?
Well, what did you find out?
We're partners, I guess,
and we fight aliens,
like "Men in Black"?
"Men in Black,"
"Men in Black."
I have "Men in Black 2" in here.
So... So you get
the general idea.
Not quite.
It's basically an endless string
of callbacks to...
All right, save it for Youtube.
I'll keep looking for clues.
What are you doing?
You want your shelf
level or not?
And if I say yes, you're gonna
provide that for me with that?
Yes, see the bubble?
I'm familiar with
the bubble, Morty.
I also dabble in precision,
and if you think
you can even approach it
with your sad, naked,
caveman eyeball
and a bubble of air,
you're the reason this species
is a failure,
and it makes me angry!
You're drunk.
You want to put up a shelf,
put up a shelf.
You want to experience
true level?
- Do you?
- Y-yes.
Ugh, all right, come on.
Wow, it's so...
Oh, oh, oh, oh, my God, oh,
Christ, ooh, ooh, ooh, ahh.
Oh, yeah, true level, bitch.
Morty, come on,
we're leaving for school.
Oh, everything's crooked!
Reality is poison!
I want to go back!
I hate this!
What's his deal?
- Can't live like this!
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, Morty, Morty, Morty.
Go to school, Summer.
I'll go in Morty's memory
and do a little...
Lambs to the cosmic slaughter!
Well?
You seem to be in charge
of what I get to remember.
Why?
Good question.
Morty, I need darkness to prime
these optical inductors.
Hit the leftmost light switch
by the door for me.
The left.
Okay, lights on.
So, did I just hear three
distinct light switch clicks?
W-W-What do you mean?
I feel like the three sounds
I heard could be explained
by an initial erroneous flipping
of a switch on the right
followed by a hasty,
corrective flipping
of the requested switch.
Then during the resultant
darkness and silence, a third,
shameful unflipping of
the initially flipped switch.
Is my assessment accurate?
Yeah, that's... that's basically
how... how it all shaked out.
I'm sorry.
Ugh.
All right, come on.
- What?!
- Come on!
Grab a shovel.
W-What is...
Grab a shovel!
What was that?
I can't find a goddamn
zip tie anywhere!
All right, it!
Ahh, zip tie.
Why are you making me
do this for you again?
Who doesn't wish they could
talk to animals, Rick?
Most humans!
There, I'm done,
just stay out of trouble!
Gotta keep moving.
Can't stop.
Up, down, down, up, up, up,
down, up, stop, down.
The queen needs food.
The babies need food.
The queen makes babies.
The situation in Argentina
has proven less convenient
than predicted.
We'll have to re-destabilize
their economy,
refocus labor class outrage
from upper to middle,
foster a coup, and install
a compliant regime.
- Same as Guatemala?
- Yes, but you can double time it.
We need a quorum
to pick a new pope,
in case the Exxon/Monsanto thing
falls through in Africa.
Why not use chemtrails?
Put a canopy on Uganda.
- They're set to agitate any mo...
- What?
That kid is watching us.
So, we're squirrels, he's a kid.
He's watching us like he hears
what we're saying.
Hey, kid. Young man?
Come here, little boy.
Tell Daphne to run a 199
on a possible Dolittle.
Little boy!
We'll give you wishes
if you can hear us!
We can make you fly
and get candy.
- Oh, ! Oh,!
- me! me!
Rick!
Ah, , Morty,
what did you do?
All right, Morty,
pack your shit!
That's only gonna keep 'em down
for a little bit, Morty!
You with
squirrels, Morty!
We got a good five minutes
before they're backing up
on our ass, Morty!
We have to pack up and move
to a new reality, Morty!
You know I said we could
only do that a couple of times!
We're over here because
of these damn squirrels, Morty!
I don't know what
my reaction is,
but I think I'm mounting
in suspicion of you.
- Well, what are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna remember everything!
Everything!
Yeah!
♪♪
Ow!
Ah!
Ow!
♪♪
♪♪
Well, what'd you find out?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what
are you gonna do, kill me?
No, I'm not gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill myself!
All those memories just erased!
Sitting in this room
collecting dust!
W-What's the point of going on
if most of everything
that happens just ends up
sitting in here?
All right, kid.
I don't know much aside from
the fact that "Men in Black 2"
is a joyless cash grab, but I do
know that whatever you have
brewing around in your noggin
really connected with you.
I can't deny that,
and I can't deny that I'm
inspired by your passion.
I want in.
Suicide pact!
Yes, yeah, let's do it!
Together, you old son
of a bitch! On three!
One...
Two...
You guys doing
Morty's Mind Blowers?
Morty's Mind Blowers?
Grandpa,
is this scenario three?
Uh, w-what's that,
and w-who are you?
Oh, man, it's a scenario four.
Ugh, goddamn it!
I don't get paid enough
for this shit!
There's a Craftsman nearby.
I can smell it.
Whoa, what... what...
Can I help you?
H-How did we fall asleep during
interdimensional cable?
- Yeah, what the hell, Summer?
- Summer, you dumb bitch!
- How long were we out, you dumb bitch!
- How much interdimensional cable
- did we miss, you stupid bitch!
- How many improv TV shows with
- commercials did we miss, Summer?
- Why did you let us fall asleep?
- You dumb bitch!
- You stupid bitch!
All right, Morty,
this noise.
Let's get out of here
and go on a classic
- Rick and Morty adventure.
- Yeah, right, Rick, I'm allin.
No wonder you're
constantly fighting
with each other
and behind schedule.
- What?
- Nothing.
♪♪
Synchronized by srjanapala
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Rick?
Hello?
Just here for my putter.
Jerry's Mind Blowers?
♪♪
Follow the boys!
♪♪
We're charged and aimed
at Alpha Centauri,
ready for transport.
They fell for it!
Let's send Gobo home!
All right!
- Where's dad?
- He should be here any second.
It's funny, Jerry spent his life
seeking attention,
but in the end, humanity's
instinctive dismissal of him
saved an alien's life.
He knows where to go, right?
Yep, any minute now.
♪♪ Music playing...
Did it work?
Did you guys get Gobo home?
You have Gobo! You were supposed
to bring him to the hill!
As if.
He was in your basket.
He was in your car!
Oh!
Oof!
Dibs on his stuff.
Did you get that?
Return the Truth Tortoise!
Morty, whatever you do,
don't drop the Truth Tortoise!
Also really important,
whatever you do,
don't look into its eyes!
I... I did look at it, Rick!
I've been looking at it!
Now you're gonna know
everything, Morty!
- Good job! Way to go!
- You everything up!
It's in my head!
Ah!
Oh, geez, I... I can't get that
Truth Tortoise out of my head.
Yeah, I told you not
to look into its eyes.
Hey, Morty, let's watch some
interdimensional cable.
Remember how we used to do that?
Rick, I can't...
I can't go on.
I-I can't go on like this with the
Truth Tortoise shit in my head.
I-I wish you could just...
Erase the memory from your mind?
How did you know
I was gonna say that?
Come on, Morty, come with me.
After you.
What the hell is this?!
This, Morty, is my archive
of all the experiences
you've begged me to remove
from your life,
lest you go insane.
I call them
Morty's Mind Blowers.
And we'll be doing this instead
of interdimensional cable.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
*RICK and MORTY*
Season 03 Episode 08
Title: "Morty's Mind Blowers"
How long have I been asking you
to remove memories?
Since the first time
your mind was blown.
Ahh, here it is.
Classic.
There's no dust on it because
this isn't the first time
we've done this.
- What?!
- I call this one "Moonspiracy"!
Huh, wow.
That's incredible.
What the heck?
Morty, do you realize how
ridiculous that sounds?
Yeah, pretty crazy story, Morty.
Are you serious?
Half the crap we've seen,
and you think that sounds crazy?
I've been to 300 versions
of Earth's moon,
including this one,
and I've never seen signs
of a "regular dude,"
as you describe him,
hanging out up there.
It's probably just
a smudge on the lens.
Smudge on the lens?
Smudge on the lens?!
I know the difference between
a man threatening me
and a smudge on
the goddamn lens, Summer!
Morty, calm down!
Are you feeling okay?
I'm fine!
So sensitive.
Kids, I'd like to introduce you all
to our new guidance counselor,
Mr. Lunas.
I look forward
to helping guide you all
towards a brighter future.
I believe every
student should...
shoot for the moon.
♪♪
Got you now, you son of a bitch.
What's this?
Proof that Mr. Lunas
isn't who he says he is!
He's not a guidance counselor?
I... I assume he's qualified
to be one, who isn't?
But he also lives on the moon.
Okay.
Hmm.
Is that it?
Is he doing anything
to hurt anyone?
Oh, he's up to something.
I think I understand.
"Up to something,"
"lives on the moon."
Okay, I'll talk to him.
What did he say?
Denied the moon stuff,
but that's what pedophiles do,
they deny,
it's their bread and butter.
- Pedophile?
- You don't think so?
I thought the moon thing
might have been code.
No, he's literally
from the moon!
Well, you saw him react.
Moon or not,
that dude likes 'em young.
Gordon Lunas was a good Marine.
We don't know what drove
him to take his own life,
but we want to remember
the good things.
Like how, from a certain angle,
some people would say
he looked like a smudge.
Oh, my God, what have I done?
What have I done?
Jesus, I made that guy
kill himself!
Only in a literal sense.
Here's one I call
"Morty's Menagerie."
They don't all
have titles, though.
It's not a "Simpsons"
Halloween special,
more like a clip show made
of clips you never saw!
I can't believe we got
put into a menagerie.
So this guy collects
living beings?
Yeah, you know like
commemorative plates,
but less off-putting.
You'll get it when you're still
actively dating in your 40s.
Assess this with
cold indifference,
you beany-headed prick!
Hey, keep it down!
Just our luck, menagerie beneath
the "boulder people"
of Granitor Seven.
I can't take it anymore, Rick!
Relax, Morty!
I can't relax! R-R-Rick, we...
We gotta get outta here!
I don't care what it takes!
Anything!
- Anything?
- Anything!
All right, well, you're gonna
have to take off your shirt.
Not yet.
I'll tell you when.
Dear God.
What?
The signal
turned out to be...
There's no other way
to put it...
- Instructions.
- For?
A vehicle, sir,
an interstellar vehicle.
We'll need a pilot.
I wonder if there's a volunteer.
Mm.
Oh, the schematics specify
a second, smaller pilot.
I mean, they really
specify smaller.
They have to be exactly 5'3".
Chang, you may have majored
in Liberal Arts,
but I think you're about
to make history.
Primary systems, check.
Auxiliary systems, check.
See you soon.
Okay, now.
Greetings.
- You're...
- You look...
We've possessed forms
your mind can accept.
Here are some customary
clothing gifts.
Please, put them on.
- May we?
- Of course, yes.
We followed your instructions.
We have so much
to learn from you.
I know, right?
Hey, how come I was able to see
those other people's memories?
I... I wouldn't have been
around for that.
Yeah, sometimes I gotta do
a little editing, Morty.
It helps the mind blowers
play a little bit better
upon revisiting.
I call this one
"The Whole Enchilada.
Here, Morty, this'll make
your urine drinkable.
Now can we keep shopping?
I am Zikzak.
- Ah, shit, Morty, get behind me.
- It's a alien overlord!
It's okay.
Here.
Oh, I misjudged.
"I am Floop Floopian.
Please kill me."
That's right, Morty.
The Floop Floopians achieve
an eternal orgasmic afterlife,
so long as they're killed
by a great warrior.
I'm flattered, by the way.
Thank you very much.
So you're gonna kill him?
Eh, let's get some lunch first.
♪♪
So, you want to get shot
in the head, or...
Well, as long as
the wound is fatal,
I don't really mind
where you shoot me.
Cool.
I'm gonna go take a quick shit.
Well, I gotta say.
You know, I'm a little envious.
Your species has
an actual afterlife.
- That's gotta be nice.
- Wh-What do you mean?
Well, you know, here on Earth,
w-we don't know what's going on.
It must be nice for you guys to,
you know, have that...
Have that proof's in
the pudding, you know, evidence.
Evidence?
There's supposed to be evidence?
Um, yeah, uh...
otherwise,
how do you know if it's true?
Wait, you don't...
All right, so you want to do
this here or outside?
Run!
I don't wanna die!
Oh, God, it's all real!
Oh, it hurts!
Oh, I shouldn't have doubted it!
I shouldn't have let
you make me doubt it!
Aah!
I blame you, I blame you!
But he said there
wasn't any evidence!
That was a ton of evidence!
Well, silver lining.
Now I know their
religion's real.
They have a hell,
and it does not look good.
I noticed you never finished
your chimichanga,
so I got some room for it now,
if you know what I mean.
Holy!
How many of these are just
horrible mistakes I've made?
I mean, maybe
I'd stop making so many
if I let myself learn from them!
Don't break your back
creating a lesson, Morty.
It's a freeform anthology.
I'm getting annoyed
you're not hearing that.
As you can see around me,
your mind's been blown
countless times,
and not always by yourself.
Ah, ,
I don't even...
This better not
have been a good one.
What is this?
Great, "Booger AIDS,"
"AIDS Booger."
I gotta start using
real file names.
In the meantime,
enjoy a grab bag
of mind blowers I call
"Poop AIDS underscore copy."
I'm not an unreasonable man,
Beth Smith.
I know children are everything
to a mammal.
I will spare one of their lives.
You simply have to choose.
- Summer!
- Summer.
♪♪
You're not gonna believe this.
I went to Phoebe
instead of Titan.
It's, like, hello, Saturn,
after ten moons,
time to stop naming and start
numbering, you know?
What's... Wh-What's with you
assholes?
Morty, please, don't do this.
Your Morty is gone!
I am Voltamatron,
Destroyer of Worlds!
Grandpa Rick, there must be some
scientific way to save him!
Not scientific,
but there may be a way.
Morty, I know you're in there.
It's me, your grandpa.
I know I can be mean,
but I love you, Morty.
We all do,
you gotta fight this thing.
I know you can.
You're stronger than all of us!
Morty, it's mom! We love you,
you have to fight it!
Come on, Morty!
Fight that stupid worm thing!
We love you!
We love you so much!
Yes, Morty, come on,
you're doing it!
You're doing it!
You're doing it!
Should we pull it out?
No, don't touch it.
Just keep loving Morty!
We still love you.
But I do have
a thing at 6:00.
Oh, God, do I have
to keep looking?
Geez, Morty, come on,
pinch it off already!
Don't! Oh, God, sorry, Morty,
I love you!
God, is there going
to be an intermission?
Excuse me, but I ordered
the large evil space worm.
I know, it's like,
is that a demon slug
in your stomach,
or are you just happy to...
Sorry!
Well, I guess it's nice to know
the whole family sucks!
So if the blues ones
are my fault,
and the purple ones are my
family's, what are the red ones?
Yeah, d-don't read
into it, Morty!
Ahh.
We need to find shelter
before the sunset, Morty.
Venzenulon Nine has a night
temperature of 300 below!
We'll freeze, Morty!
W-We'll be dead in seconds!
I... I think I saw
a cave over there.
You've seen
too many movies, Morty.
A cave isn't gonna cut it.
We're gonna have to use Beebo.
Beebo led us to water!
He's our friend!
- He won't even feel it!
- Oh, no, no!
You wanna die, Morty?
Get in Beebo!
Oh, no, no!
Brace for the ice limit.
Here it comes!
Wait, are we on Venzenulon Nine
or Venzenulon Seven?
Wait a minute, why would I ask
for that to be removed?
Are the red ones stuff
you wanted removed?
Ooh, that's clever, Morty, but I
don't use color to sort things
because I'm not a mouse in
a European children's book.
Then why are all those
pink ones by the liquor?
Liquor?
That was close.
We lost Captain Sky.
He gave his life
for the uprising.
Yeah. It really makes
you think, huh, Morty?
We should never take
things for granite.
- What?
- I'm just saying, life's short.
We shouldn't take things
for granite.
- Are you saying "granite"?
- Well, yeah.
It's "granted,"
with a "D."
Take things for granted.
Did you actually think it was...
Jesus Christ, Rick,
what are you, a boulder...
A rock person?
How long have you been saying
that wrong?
Oh, you like that, huh?
I b-b-bet that really
blows your mind.
I mean, yeah,
it's kind of great.
- You want me to erase it?
- What, you can do that?
Ah,.
I knew it,
you piece of!
- You... You...
- You're a asshole, Rick!
Take it easy, Morty, come on.
Just relax.
No, I'm not gonna relax!
Come here!
Let go of me, you little bitch!
I'm gonna grab you by the
scruff of your... Take that!
Ohh!
- Umm.
- Umm. Uhh.
- What...
- What's going on?
- Where am I?
- Who are we?
Who am I?
I think I'm an adolescent boy.
Huh, and I'm an elderly man.
And we appear to be in some kind
of secret confined space.
Yeah, umm...
Don't look at me like that.
For all we know, you could be
the weirdo.
Huh, these things are
obviously storage units,
and since we can't remember
what went wrong,
my guess is that the technology
involves memory,
and that this thing on your head
is designed to...
Tell us the code, Jagoff!
It's pointless.
He's stonewalling.
Rick, if we don't unlock those
vaccines, Earth dies!
You know, it might be time to
step up your interrogation!
Not sure what
you're implying, Morty,
but some lines I don't cross.
Yeah, well,
I crossed every line I had
when this bastard
tried to kill Jessica!
Okay, see those two fleshy sacs
under his chin, Morty?
Grab 'em.
You remember the codes now?
Twist!
Give us the codes, man!
Twist harder, Morty!
Harder!
Okay, let go, let go,
let him breathe.
He wants to make a deal.
Half the codes now,
half after you finish.
But can we trust...
Wait, what?
F-Finish what?
Y-You know...
I thought I was torturing him!
Oh, and this disappoints you?
Do I tell him we don't
have a deal, Morty?
Because if we can
kill our enemies,
but we can't jack them off, then
how are we better than them?
Well, what did you find out?
We're partners, I guess,
and we fight aliens,
like "Men in Black"?
"Men in Black,"
"Men in Black."
I have "Men in Black 2" in here.
So... So you get
the general idea.
Not quite.
It's basically an endless string
of callbacks to...
All right, save it for Youtube.
I'll keep looking for clues.
What are you doing?
You want your shelf
level or not?
And if I say yes, you're gonna
provide that for me with that?
Yes, see the bubble?
I'm familiar with
the bubble, Morty.
I also dabble in precision,
and if you think
you can even approach it
with your sad, naked,
caveman eyeball
and a bubble of air,
you're the reason this species
is a failure,
and it makes me angry!
You're drunk.
You want to put up a shelf,
put up a shelf.
You want to experience
true level?
- Do you?
- Y-yes.
Ugh, all right, come on.
Wow, it's so...
Oh, oh, oh, oh, my God, oh,
Christ, ooh, ooh, ooh, ahh.
Oh, yeah, true level, bitch.
Morty, come on,
we're leaving for school.
Oh, everything's crooked!
Reality is poison!
I want to go back!
I hate this!
What's his deal?
- Can't live like this!
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, Morty, Morty, Morty.
Go to school, Summer.
I'll go in Morty's memory
and do a little...
Lambs to the cosmic slaughter!
Well?
You seem to be in charge
of what I get to remember.
Why?
Good question.
Morty, I need darkness to prime
these optical inductors.
Hit the leftmost light switch
by the door for me.
The left.
Okay, lights on.
So, did I just hear three
distinct light switch clicks?
W-W-What do you mean?
I feel like the three sounds
I heard could be explained
by an initial erroneous flipping
of a switch on the right
followed by a hasty,
corrective flipping
of the requested switch.
Then during the resultant
darkness and silence, a third,
shameful unflipping of
the initially flipped switch.
Is my assessment accurate?
Yeah, that's... that's basically
how... how it all shaked out.
I'm sorry.
Ugh.
All right, come on.
- What?!
- Come on!
Grab a shovel.
W-What is...
Grab a shovel!
What was that?
I can't find a goddamn
zip tie anywhere!
All right, it!
Ahh, zip tie.
Why are you making me
do this for you again?
Who doesn't wish they could
talk to animals, Rick?
Most humans!
There, I'm done,
just stay out of trouble!
Gotta keep moving.
Can't stop.
Up, down, down, up, up, up,
down, up, stop, down.
The queen needs food.
The babies need food.
The queen makes babies.
The situation in Argentina
has proven less convenient
than predicted.
We'll have to re-destabilize
their economy,
refocus labor class outrage
from upper to middle,
foster a coup, and install
a compliant regime.
- Same as Guatemala?
- Yes, but you can double time it.
We need a quorum
to pick a new pope,
in case the Exxon/Monsanto thing
falls through in Africa.
Why not use chemtrails?
Put a canopy on Uganda.
- They're set to agitate any mo...
- What?
That kid is watching us.
So, we're squirrels, he's a kid.
He's watching us like he hears
what we're saying.
Hey, kid. Young man?
Come here, little boy.
Tell Daphne to run a 199
on a possible Dolittle.
Little boy!
We'll give you wishes
if you can hear us!
We can make you fly
and get candy.
- Oh, ! Oh,!
- me! me!
Rick!
Ah, , Morty,
what did you do?
All right, Morty,
pack your shit!
That's only gonna keep 'em down
for a little bit, Morty!
You with
squirrels, Morty!
We got a good five minutes
before they're backing up
on our ass, Morty!
We have to pack up and move
to a new reality, Morty!
You know I said we could
only do that a couple of times!
We're over here because
of these damn squirrels, Morty!
I don't know what
my reaction is,
but I think I'm mounting
in suspicion of you.
- Well, what are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna remember everything!
Everything!
Yeah!
♪♪
Ow!
Ah!
Ow!
♪♪
♪♪
Well, what'd you find out?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what
are you gonna do, kill me?
No, I'm not gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill myself!
All those memories just erased!
Sitting in this room
collecting dust!
W-What's the point of going on
if most of everything
that happens just ends up
sitting in here?
All right, kid.
I don't know much aside from
the fact that "Men in Black 2"
is a joyless cash grab, but I do
know that whatever you have
brewing around in your noggin
really connected with you.
I can't deny that,
and I can't deny that I'm
inspired by your passion.
I want in.
Suicide pact!
Yes, yeah, let's do it!
Together, you old son
of a bitch! On three!
One...
Two...
You guys doing
Morty's Mind Blowers?
Morty's Mind Blowers?
Grandpa,
is this scenario three?
Uh, w-what's that,
and w-who are you?
Oh, man, it's a scenario four.
Ugh, goddamn it!
I don't get paid enough
for this shit!
There's a Craftsman nearby.
I can smell it.
Whoa, what... what...
Can I help you?
H-How did we fall asleep during
interdimensional cable?
- Yeah, what the hell, Summer?
- Summer, you dumb bitch!
- How long were we out, you dumb bitch!
- How much interdimensional cable
- did we miss, you stupid bitch!
- How many improv TV shows with
- commercials did we miss, Summer?
- Why did you let us fall asleep?
- You dumb bitch!
- You stupid bitch!
All right, Morty,
this noise.
Let's get out of here
and go on a classic
- Rick and Morty adventure.
- Yeah, right, Rick, I'm allin.
No wonder you're
constantly fighting
with each other
and behind schedule.
- What?
- Nothing.
♪♪
Synchronized by srjanapala
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Rick?
Hello?
Just here for my putter.
Jerry's Mind Blowers?
♪♪
Follow the boys!
♪♪
We're charged and aimed
at Alpha Centauri,
ready for transport.
They fell for it!
Let's send Gobo home!
All right!
- Where's dad?
- He should be here any second.
It's funny, Jerry spent his life
seeking attention,
but in the end, humanity's
instinctive dismissal of him
saved an alien's life.
He knows where to go, right?
Yep, any minute now.
♪♪ Music playing...
Did it work?
Did you guys get Gobo home?
You have Gobo! You were supposed
to bring him to the hill!
As if.
He was in your basket.
He was in your car!
Oh!
Oof!
Dibs on his stuff.
Did you get that?