Richard Hammond's Workshop (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode #1.2 - full transcript
Richard gambles his own money on a 1970 Mark II Jensen Interceptor with plans to restore it to factory specification. Plus, the guys head to the London Classic Car Show.
This time:
'Hello.' Chris? 'Yes.'
Hammond. 'What? Richard Hammond?'
Oh, here we go.
The Smallest
Cog is gonna be exhibiting
at the London Classic Car Show.
(ENGINE REVS) To be honest, you've
got my attention a bit now.
(LAUGHS) You see?
But as the big day approaches...
They're coming in the next hour.
(GASPS)
..the wheels come off.
Oh, for crying out loud.
Restoring cars is not easy.
There, look!
London Classic Car Show!
I need a nervous poo. (LAUGHS)
Cars could be my life.
A little bit more!
Talking about them...
This is a force of nature.
..thrashing them.
That's not what I wanted to see.
..and crashing them.
But now...
Don't panic, I'm here.
..I'm fulfilling my lifelong dream
and starting my own
classic car workshop...
Should I get my overalls on?
..restoring some of the finest
classic cars in the world...
Heavenly automotive lord...
..with father and son team
Neil and Anthony Greenhouse.
We're trusting him with our
reputation.
Look away. Bodging in process.
Oh, you, son of a-
I'll be learning
how to be a businessman...
What you need is The Smallest Cog.
To be honest, you've
got my attention a bit now.
..and getting my hands dirty.
I'm gonna swallow this screw in a
minute and die. Cam you do it
quietly?
It'll test my bank balance...
We could ruin
the business quite easily.
..and my relationships.
You'll enjoy it.
Will I?
..as I take my obsession
to a whole new level.
It's the best game I've ever played
and the most terrifying.
(MUSIC)
Hello, Smallest Cog,
how can I help you?
Yes, we are, sir. We are indeed.
How did you hear about us? Ooh.
That is a beautiful car. DB4.
Is it a GT?
It is a GT. Lovely! Lovely.
It's only a shame, sir,
that you don't exist.
(SIGHS) This isn't quite
the start I wanted.
Erm... The whole business plan is
founded on...
take the skills, the experience of
these guys...
blend it with my...profile.
Cos, you know, I'm on the telly...
and put it in a brand-new
state-of-the-art workshop
that people can come and look at.
Because I can't say to somebody,
'Bring your quarter of a million
pound car here
to spend another quarter of a
million pounds on it.' Cos...
I mean... yeah, looks aren't
everything but...
..it doesn't have what we need.
It doesn't have
the facilities and it's...
We need that workshop.
But we've been having some planning
issues with the new workshop build.
A few weeks ago, all we had was two
piles of dirt
and some holes in the ground.
It's been unbelievably annoying to
be caught up in council red tape
BUT we have now got a green light on
the planning.
So, I'm hoping to see progress
today.
And from what I hear from my new
landlord Hadrian,
the builders have
been making up for lost time.
Looks a bit different now, don't it?
It's massive. Yeah, well, I kept
telling you that but you wouldn't
believe me.
No, but it's... it's enormous.
That's typical you, that is. It's
made of metal and too big.
Now I've gotta dress it, make it
look pretty and I know you're gonna
laugh.
You're gonna be
an appalling neighbour
but THAT is gonna look... beautiful.
What is this? It's a power float.
That's the big of kit that's gonna
give you a nice floor.
It puts the shine on concrete.
But it'll sink.
No, cos that's already gone off.
I've never seen one of those. Look,
here he goes.
Hey-hey!
Oh, that is epic.
I expect you'd like to have a go on
that later, wouldn't you?
I'm absolutely desperate to have a
go. OK, so terms and conditions.
Landlord, tenant.
Don't (BLEEP) my floor.
Who owns it? Me. Is it valuable?
20 grand. 20 grand. Right.
(REVVING) That's the key one,
throttle.
Right. This one controls this side.
Yeah.
And this one controls this side.
Right. You'll get the feel of it but
it's better flat out.
Yeah.
(LAUGHS)
I'm totally out of control.
I have absolutely no control over
what's happening to me right now.
I'm simply moving.
I can do nothing...
Hey-hey!
I don't know that I've done it very
well but it's brilliant!
I'm gonna get muddy boots. I've made
a terrible me- Ugh!
(LAUGHS) Don't walk in that! That's
not set.
Sorry. Sorry.
I'm very pleased that I will have
contributed to finishing the
workshop.
I will look at that floor
every day and go,
'I did that dip in
the middle. I made that myself.'
Thinking about it, we will be moving
up a level.
That is... That's big time.
When's it gonna be ready? There's a
few...issues at the moment.
British Steel have shut their order
book for six weeks.
I'll be ruined before I can take
over the building.
It's just space is what I need.
Well, I can't do anything about
the world's resources
not being in
Herefordshire at the moment.
Right, so six weeks delay
on the steel.
That's gonna delay me two months
getting into the workshop.
And I've gotta go and tell the guys.
They're not gonna be pleased.
Chaps, coffees. There you go. That's
yours. Thank you.
Ant, there's one for you there.
Oh, cheers, mate. Thank you.
Erm... so...
A bit of bad news. There's another
problem with the workshop.
As in what way?
The problem is... steel.
There's...
You can't get hold of steel.
So, we've got permission
but we can't actually build.
We haven't got the metal and I'm
sorry it's gonna delay it.
It's one delay after another, isn't
it? I know.
At the moment we're a bit stuck.
Anyway, now you know. No, we carry
on. Sorry.
That's all right. Thanks
for the coffee. You're welcome.
I thought it might soften the blow.
How many more times is he gonna have
an excuse his place ain't gonna be
done? This new garage? I know.
He said at the start, 'I'll have
a new garage, I'll get it sorted.'
You get this picture and then
all of a sudden you get -
like you're going forward and moving
back and back.
It's just gutting cos you wanna move
on. Yeah. You wanna get on with it.
Rome wasn't built in a day. No.
Nor was our shed.
(DOOR SQUEAKS)
We might have to wait
for the new workshop
but that doesn't mean
we have to sit still.
Why are driving? You're in
charge of calibration.
And you're in charge of driving?
My car? Yeah.
Monty, my beloved Jaguar XK150 is in
the final stages of restoration.
Once we've checked the speedo, we
can get it out of this old workshop
and at least create some space for
any other work we can grab.
Brown number two.
This is Grey Goose.
Er, we'll come up on you, set it at
50 miles an hour. 50, please.
The old ways are the best.
At a certain speed, I'll give a hand
signal
and then we'll see
if the calibration has worked.
Fingers crossed.
OK. If you just hold it at 50,
we'll pull alongside and
then indicate when we're at 50.
Well, this is the moment of truth.
Coming up 47... 48... 49...
OK. Show we when we got 50.
50. There it is.
50. We're on 50.
OK, let's try for a 60.
60. 60!
That's 60. It's about right. It's
about right.
OK. Looking for 70.
This is a belt and braces...
The old XK150's going well.
I've got a job to catch it.
Er... OK.
Yep, that's 70 for us.
That's 70 for us. We're at 70.
That works. It works.
Been working on this car for a
couple of years on and off.
For us, it's a really big moment
that she's good to go on the road at
long last.
The workshop's now empty but we've
still got the issue of no customers.
Everyone keeps telling me to get
customers to give me their expensive
cars to restore,
we've gotta win their trust BUT how
do we get the cars to restore,
to prove that we can restore the
cars? It's just chicken and egg.
And one thing occurs to me,
which is:
rather than wait for that car to
come to me, and do a good job,
I go and get a car.
I know the guys have restored my Jag
but we need something that's
notoriously difficult to restore.
And that's where
I've had another idea.
Jensen Interceptor.
My grandad worked there so there's a
connection there.
It's sort
of improving my credibility.
But they're known to be hard to
restore.
I've floated this idea with Neil.
He wasn't entirely pleased cos they
are difficult to work on BUT
he agrees if I can find a car that
is complete, it might be doable.
All I've gotta do is find them the
right one.
That's where I could go wrong.
(MUSIC)
Well, I mulled it over, slept on it
and then spent £17,000.
(HORN)
Guys?
(CLEARS THROAT)
Oh, yeah! Yes!
Jensen Interceptor Mark II.
That is a job. Oh, my God.
That is...
I mean, it's solid. It's not bad.
It's not bad.
Somebody's taken a leap of faith
buying this little beauty.
I want it to be mint, really
beautiful.
Can you reach the pedals? Yes.
(ENGINE REVS)
Ooh. What do you reckon?
To be honest, you've got my
attention a bit now.
(LAUGHS) You see? You see?
Be a good advert for us if we get it
done nice. It would be good for us
to show what we can do.
The problem is they're very, very
complicated, handmade. Yeah.
Nothing fits off another car. You
can't just go and buy bits for it.
You can get panels but even the
panels you can buy you gotta make
fit. Yeah.
What could we be talking, then?
You could spend £100,000 on this
car and I am not joking.
And I'm not laughing.
Restoring the Jensen
will take months.
We can't take up space in the
workshop on a car that's not
bringing in any cash.
So, it's gonna have to live at
Neil's house.
Thanks for lending us your garage.
As long as you sweep the floor. I
will, don't worry.
Can you imagine what this car must
have looked like when it was new?
Utterly brilliant.
These were the sexiest car. This
car, back in the day, was known as
the Brummie Ferrari.
These cars were handmade and the
problem is there's not many of these
cars left.
You can't nip down the road,
borrow your mate's
and go, 'Can I have a look under the
bonnet?' Cos there's not many.
My grandfather...
touched this car and said,
(BRUMMIE ACCENT) 'Send that out into
the world. Give it to its customer.'
Interior first, I reckon. Seats?
Yeah.
Careful. Careful. Careful.
I'm being careful. What?
Don't scratch anything. You gotta
keep these things as a package. You
might not be able to get a piece.
Don't throw anything away. Keep
every bit.
Next.
I'm excited cos... my
grandad. My grandad was here.
Tell me it's paperwork.
Oh, God, I love paperwork.
I'm obsessive about paperwork.
I keep seeing the name Pilkington.
A R Pilkington
of Pilkington Brothers Ltd.
Flat glass division. Yeah, they were
the people who invented flat glass.
Sir Pilkington. This glass
was probably made by Pilkington.
So, he made his own glass for his
own car.
Guarantee claim. So, he obviously
went back with a few problems.
This is in December 1970, the year
it was born.
This is from A R Pilkington
to Mr Kendall 23rd April 1971.
During the week which you have my
car available,
I would ask you to ensure your
service department spend sufficient
time on it
to eradicate the various minor
defects which are very annoying.
The most important thing is,
naturally, the back axle which you
will be changing.
(CHUCKLES)
The engine is very rough and I
suspect that there is a hole
somewhere in the exhaust system.
Oh, and this just goes on and on and
on.
He's so cross, before he's
signed it he's written,
please let me know when the car is
ready,
I don't want it back half finished.
It was born, came out into the world
and disintegrated.
So, we've gotta make it better than
it came out of the factory.
Yes, please. For God's sake.
But then your grandad signed off-
All right! That's my lineage.
He was having an off day.
In many ways, my grandfather is
responsible for this whole venture,
this whole workshop mission because
I want to,
in my own little way,
walk in his footsteps.
But... I've just bought an example
of a car that he's said...
(BRUMMIE ACCENT)
'That's great. Send it out.'
And... it appears to have
fallen apart WEEKS later.
(BARKS)
(EXHALES) Well, what we've got here
is the rear tailgate off the Jensen
Interceptor.
When the windscreen was in it and
the rubbers covered and everything,
all looked OK but it's not good
news, I'm afraid.
It's rotted from the inside out.
It's very hard to estimate
the amount of labour.
You could spend probably
five, six days repairing this.
Until it comes back
from the sandblaster's
and we get it stripped and
blasted, then we won't really know.
But time will tell.
Road car shows.
This is about the London
Classic Car Show.
The decision the organiser of the
the London Classic Car Show made at
the end of January
to move from April to June has
proven insightful
with the outdoor
show almost certain to go ahead.
So, that's a classic car show.
And I need to be at it
and it's been
organised by... Chris Hughes,
who I know, like, really well.
Cos he used to do the live shows
that we did all over the world.
(RINGING)
'Hello.' Chris? 'Yes.'
Hammond. 'What? Richard Hammond?'
Oh, here we go.
Yes. Hello, mate. 'Hi.'
This is a serious call.
'Yes, OK.' Right.
So, I've launched this classic car
restoration business. 'Yes.'
And I need to give it, like, a push.
I need people to see it.
'Excellent.' I need people to see
who we are so...
'So, are you gonna buy a stand
off me, is that what you want?'
'Are you ringing to give me money?'
I... I can't do that.
And... can you not...just as a mate,
you know?
'OK. So, it is a real business?'
Yes.
It totally is, yes. 'And it's a
restoration business?'
Yep. 'So, I potentially do a bit of
before, after and during
restoration.'
That's quite clever. I like that
idea.
'And then people will look at the
cars and then get chatting to you.'
OK. One other ask.
'Yeah.' Could you bring my cars to
the event?
'Yes... then, in which case, cos you
wouldn't know this
cos you've never
been business trained,
but in the art of the negotiating,
one of the key principles,
if anyone ever asks for something,
you're supposed to ask for something
back.'
'Otherwise it demeans you.
So, what do I get in return?'
Well, what would you want in return?
'I guess the obvious thing
is to whore your celebrity.'
'Is to promote your face
a little bit
so I get to sell a few tickets
on the back of your face.'
OK. That's a deal. 'Is it?'
Yeah, I'll do that. Cheers, Chris.
'Bye.' Bye.
Hoo-hoo.
OK. I've... I've... Dealing with
real business people is terrifying
because they're actually quite good
at this so you...
I think I've done
all right out of that.
And I like the before, during and
after thing.
I'm very glad I thought of it just
then whilst talking to Chris Hughes.
Chaps, I've had a brilliant idea.
The Smallest Cog is gonna be
exhibiting at the London Classic Car
Show.
I've blagged us a stand. We'll be
there, Smallest Cog. Our own
stand? Our own stand?
And they want the stand to have a
bit of a story to it and what we
cooked up is...
three cars on it and we have an
after restoration,
cos this is
pushing us as restorers...
Monty. This. Yeah, after
restoration, then we have a
during... Jensen. Yeah.
So, we need to get... we need to get
that...some work done.
Work in progress sort of. Exactly
right and then the third would be a
before restoration.
That's one we haven't done.
One that we've bought that we've
got. But we ain't got nothing.
What if, WE were to buy a car and
restore it and sell it?
And make some money. I'll pay for it
but the company will have to pay me
back when we sell it.
Just be careful when you-
Yeah. Yeah. Buy wisely. Yeah.
All- Yes, all right.
I will buy wisely.
I'll let you know what I'm looking
for. Good idea. It's good, innit? I
like that.
Remember this, you make the money
when you buy the car, not when you
sell it so buy it right.
Is that another saying? Yep. Good.
Measure twice, cut once. Exactly.
Our workshop's not ready. We can't
take people to our new workshop. No.
So,
WE take our work to the public.
When you go to a London Classic Car
Show, you're out there in front of
the whole world.
It's not local, it's worldwide.
Scary but... It is scary. But then
again, if you never have that bit of
adrenaline,
then it wouldn't be worth doing.
Wouldn't be doing at all.
Be like going on a first date. Would
be...
(MUSIC)
I've got the after, a Jaguar XK.
I need the during, I've got
that, the Jensen. I need the before.
I think
it's a '70s or '80s fast Ford.
They are flying up in value.
You see, Ford Capri...
Ooh, Cosworth.
Ooh. Some great stuff here.
So, hang on, there is one UK
supplied car. That's good.
Midnight blue.
That could be it. I shall have
another gin and think about that.
Drinking and bidding is a good idea.
(MUSIC)
Do you wanna grab that, Dad, so it
doesn't bounce off down the road?
Today, the Jensen
is off to the sandblaster's.
Now we'll find out how bad it is.
It's a big day for removing years of
history and rust.
I think Richard's gonna have a big
shock when this comes back.
Little bits of rust like that are
gonna turn into a big piece of rust
like this.
Cos at the moment, he's still living
with the romance
of what it's gonna be like this car,
nice sunny day driving it
but to get to that dream, you've
gotta
get through the nightmare first.
All right.
I better get the picture up, then.
She always cuts it from a picture of
Robert Downey Jr.
(I don't know why.)
Can I get you a coffee? No, thank
you.
Do you want some magazines to read?
No, thank you.
Put your head down a bit, please.
So, how do you think it's performing
at the moment,
the old Smallest Cog?
Well, erm...
People are receiving us warmly.
They like to hear about it.
Have you got the phone working yet?
Well, I've gotta top it up.
I don't know how to do that.
What? Pay As You Gos? Yeah.
Why didn't you buy a proper phone?
Saving money. That's a bit crap,
isn't it?
Cos if you were ringing a business
to get your car fixed,
and you rang the number and it went
'Bbbbbvvv.'
You'd just think, 'Well,
that doesn't exist.'
And you'd never ring it again, would
you?
So, don't you think that was a
bit daft, to say the very least?
You need to do a business plan, like
a proper business plan.
But a business plan isn't gonna
bring money in, is it?
A business plan will work out what's
coming in against what's coming
out. There's nothing coming in.
It'll let you see how much money you
need to generate from it.
I know how much I need to generate.
How much?
About nine grand a month. Falling a
little bit short, aren't we?
Just a little, tiny bit. Honestly.
You're unbelievable sometimes.
Thank you. Not in a good way. Oh.
The London Classic Car Show is a
week away and I've been shopping
for the car that we can take for our
before restoration example.
I bought it at auction.
The guys haven't seen it yet.
I think they're gonna be...
I think they'll be pleased.
This is a doubly exciting day for
you because you get to come into my
secret lair.
I have bought... THIS.
Ooh. Escort Mk II RS2000.
I've been quite anxious.
I paid 24,000.
BUT...
..these go for 40, 45, 50.
Now they do, yeah.
Depending upon what parts we need,
there's ten, 15 grand profit in here
for us.
That pays for running costs for a
month. Yeah.
You might have the lucky gene on
buying cars.
I'm hoping you have because
sometimes you have gotta be brave
and take a chance.
Thank you. I think we're all excited
about this one.
You're containing it well.
I never show too much excitement
until I have a really good look
because-
You don't show too much excitement
unless it's your idea. Yeah.
Then it's amazing. (LAUGHS)
RS2000 rare car now. Yeah.
They're making astronomical- They're
making big money. They're big money.
Tell me I bought well.
My pride is on the line.
Er... put your pride in your back
pocket for a minute!
I don't care for your opinion.
Fortune favours the bold. Yep. Bald!
If fortune favoured the BALD,
you'd be minted by now!
We've gotta be careful. If we say,
'It's a good buy, he'll buy more.'
He'll buy everything and one day
he will drop a clanger.
So, between me and you, he's done
all right.
BUT don't tell him.
Don't tell him.
So, London Car Show, get it back,
crack on. AND sell it and make
money.
The Jensen's finally back from the
sandblaster.
Good job too. The classic car show
is less than a week away
and Neil hasn't
done a scrap of work on the car.
We'll find out now what she's
really like.
The moment of truth.
Whoa!
Wait. Wait. It's going on the ramp.
Oh. Am I the only one that's scared?
OK, come on. Let's have a
look. Let's do it.
The less water gets on the- Give it
a good shake.
Oh, for crying out loud. Really? Do
you wanna go for another one? No!
Well, what are we seeing? It's had a
bit of tin worm.
BUT...
That looks all good, don't it? Well,
I am surprised.
The boot floor's usually rot. It's
still there. It's really good there.
Yeah, not bad. This is not bad at
all. I think you've been very lucky.
Whoa! Wait a minute!
I haven't been very lucky, I've used
judgement and skill.
I bought well. Say it. No, you have
bought well.
Lucky. Say it so somebody else
can hear it.
(CLEARS THROAT) Yeah. Right, OK.
It's never gonna happen. I'm not
gonna get that out of them.
You done all right. Could be a lot
worse. You've done OK.
Passed the initial inspection. So
far, so good.
Look at that.
(SIGHS) Well, what we got here, is
the rear tailgate.
You see where it's double skinned,
look,
and the skin underneath has
rotting away, like.
That is living, absolute hell on
earth that is.
You wanna have a look at this. Oh.
Oh, yes.
Oh. Oh, it's a bit lacy.
Can you buy these? No.
It's... It's remake this or scrap
the car. Yeah, yeah.
Can you do it? I can do it, yeah.
I can definitely do it but what's
the next question?
How long? How long?
I knew you'd say that.
It's just... It's midnight oil
again, innit?
It's hours and hours
and hours but...
I am eating company resources with
this project, aren't I?
I mean, look at that. How are you
gonna make that?
The rest of the car, it's got issues
but this is the big one to get
sorted, yeah.
Are you cross with me, Neil? No, no,
no. I'm not cross at you.
You've gone quiet. I am, really
but... Yeah. I think you're cross
with me.
We're just days away from the London
Classic Car Show.
Neil has a plan for the Jensen
but time is not on his side.
What I would like to do,
is repair one side of the car
and just try and
make it look like new on one side.
The actual doorframe, body shell is
good
so we're gonna replace the door
skin, new wing, new door skin,
and then we're gonna top it off in a
brand-new rear quarter.
So, all this side of the car will be
new and it will be a before and
after.
So you can see this has been
transformed from a rusty old car
into, basically, this side will be
like a new body shell.
The downside to that is that these
cars are bespoke.
Back in the day they were handmade,
hand finished
so everything has gotta be made to
fit
and that goes for the new panels.
The problem is the Classic Car Show
is not far away
and I just wanna do the very best I
can to promote the business
and promote our skills but I'm just
worried about the time.
I've got so much work to do.
How are we? Oh, morning. Oh. Ah.
Breakfast. You deserve a treat,
you're working hard and here it is.
Aw, look at that.
Pastries. Many and various.
Thank you. I think I might have
slightly earned this.
Feast, gentlemen. Thank you.
There you are.
The London Classic Car Show people
want the cars tomorrow instead of
Friday.
Are you taking the mick?
(LAUGHS) Seriously? No?
That's not gonna be nowhere near
ready. No.
Right. We're there on the Saturday
but the show's set up Thursday...
Right.
And they want the cars there
to build the show around it.
This, then,
is the sweetener, is it?
It's not a sweetener. You deserve
it. You're working really hard
and you need food because it may be
that you're gonna have to work
REALLY, REALLY hard. Tomorrow
morning? Afternoon?
I'm trying to push it as far along
tomorrow as I can
and I'm trying to buy some extra
time for that
but I'm just not making any more
promises that I can't keep.
Notice the sun's gone away now. This
is quite depressing, innit?
Bacon roll and then... Don't cry.
Don't cry.
And then we'll get on with it, then.
That's the attitude.
It never rains
but it pours, does it?
I was a bit suspicious this morning
when he turned up with... loads of
food and drink.
We just have to push on and get it
done and ready to go and just get
them gone.
(BANGING)
(SIGHS AND WHIMPERS)
The motor trade is not easy.
Restoring cars is not easy.
That panel will come out now,
though, won't it?
(MUSIC)
As part of my deal with classic car
show organiser Chris Hughes,
I've agreed to take a well-known car
to add to my supposed celebrity
appeal.
Right...
This is Oliver.
1962 little yellow Opel Kadett
that I drove across Botswana
in a previous life.
Ah.
That puncture
means it's
not driveable.
And there is no spare wheel.
I didn't think there was and there
isn't.
Erm... Oh, God.
Right. I am on a deadline because
I've gotta get to the workshop
quickly to get all these cars away.
They want this one to go with them.
Oh, God.
Right. Erm...
OK.
Oh, please fit! Come on!
Oh, there, look. That's just
perished. That's from being stood.
I'm gonna have to go and see if I
can get it repaired at the tyre
place.
Wallet.
Oh, for crying out loud!
What? Brilliant.
Hang on. Let me just call Ant.
Assuming this thing is connected to
the thing, is it?
(RINGING)
'Welcome to the EE answering
service. I'm sorry but the person...
Oh, no! No, no. ..you called
is not available.' He bloody is.
Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah, not a problem,
mate. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'll see you
then. OK. Ta-ta.
Bye-bye.
Oh, no.
(RINGING) Hello?
(RINGING) Ant? Hello? 'Hello. You
all right?' Yes.
I've just had a phone call off
the transport company. 'Yes.'
They're coming in the next hour.
(GASPS)
Yeah. I've only got one car. 'Yeah.'
Oliver's got a flat tyre and it's
not a soft puncture, it's...
So, what shall I do with the
delivery man? Just sweet talk him?
Dance. Offer him a cup of tea or
anything to eat out of the fridge.
The diarrhoea will occupy him for a
couple of hours. (LAUGHS)
I'll try and do that! Let's not
panic. We'll get there.
We will get there. It's all doable.
OK. Not a problem. All right, mate.
Stay cool.
'See you soon. Bye.' See you.
(SHRIEKS) I don't like it in the
real world.
I've had a lovely time in TV world
for best part of 30 years.
Right. Please be open, please be
feeling generous.
(HUMS)
I seem to remember they're quite
nice folk. Right.
Some begging is going to occur. This
may be undignified.
(EXHALES)
Anything at all
that can be the
same size as that?
It's perished,
I think.
No? Sorry. (SHRIEKS)
Let me just double-check.
He says he hasn't got one. Well, he
said, 'We won't have one.' Oh...
(RINGING) 'Hello.'
All right, Dad?
'All right.' Er, bit of a dilemma.
Delivery truck is coming in half
hour.
'For what?' To pick up the cars for
the car show.
You're having a laugh, aren't you?
Half one, two o'clock, he said.
Richard's stuck in Ross with Oliver
with a flat tyre and I need the RS.
Just hang on. I'll bring the RS over
now a bit quick, get it out the way
and then you'll have to see what
happens when Richard gets back.
I'm just worried about Oliver now
stuck in Ross.
At least the suns out, eh?
I'm not very happy, really, because
the plan was to get half the car
restored,
get half the body panels
on this side.
So, I'm just gonna just place this
wing on just to give it a bit of a
look,
a feel for what it will look
like when the panels are on there.
The kind man at the garage inflated
Oliver's tyre.
How long it'll last is anyone's
guess.
It's like watching F1.
(ENGINE STRUGGLES) Begin!
(ENGINE SLOWLY STARTS)
Aha-ha!
The lorry's gonna be turning up
in about 20 minutes.
I just hope all this is worth it in
the end because it's a lot of stress
and stress I don't need, really.
Come on, everybody.
This is the diversion causing this.
Why today?
And there's never been this much
traffic on this road.
I've never seen it...
I mean... who comes here?
There's only me.
The transporter's gonna be here
any second
and Richard's, hopefully,
gonna be here soon
cos I'm gonna be in a lot of trouble
with the lorry driver, I think.
We're not too far away. Oh, no,
we've come across a traffic jam.
Oh, lovely.
What's going on here now?
Oh, I am worried about that tyre.
That is... It's pulling now. I can
feel it.
Oh, lorry's here. Great.
Here we go.
It is SO close now.
This is to the wire.
You all right, mate?
One of those days, innit?
(LAUGHS)
Bloody hell, the lorry's here.
(GIGGLES)
Well done, Ollie. You total hero.
Plucky little star. I do love you.
It's all good fun, isn't it?
What's the tyre like? Oh, lovely,
yeah.
You're a very lucky boy. That's...
red. We have a nice driver, which
I was worried about. That's good.
You don't want a horrible driver,
then you're in a world of pain.
I'll pull, you push. Yeah.
Keep going, keep going. Whoa.
Keep coming.
Fat boy slim's got a sweat, hang on.
You all right? No.
I've got a headache.
I've also had an email from Kamala,
the accountant.
I've GOT to put some more money into
this business today.
It's a deadline beyond which you
can't go because you're-
they call
it trading insolvently.
So, it means I'm gonna have to...
put a large sum of money...
..50 grand, into the bank account.
Erm... to keep us going.
(ENGINE REVS) I really need this
show to work. I need...
I mean, it's all... it's fun and
games but I need...
I need somebody to come to this show
and say, 'These guys are good.
Restore this for me.'
OK.
It's gonna be quite exposing being
on that stand for the business.
If we give the impression that we're
just an indulgence for some bloke
off the telly, we've had it.
We could... We could ruin the
business quite easily.
(MUSIC)
There, look!
London Classic Car Show.
There it is.
Look, stuff. Ooh!
It's like going to the circus as a
kid except we're in it.
Mustang!
Oh. Oh, SL. Very nice.
Ooh, Rover Vitesse.
(LAUGHS) Right. This is officially
quite exciting.
Look at all those cars. I need a
nervous poo. (LAUGHS)
Right. Erm... Shall we go and scope
out... Yeah.
Not get distracted by the cars.
Coming in. Thank you.
Look, it's there. Oh.
(CRUNCHING) Mate, that's another of
your executive... suitcases.
Pull your T shirt down.
(GIGGLES) You're representing our
business now.
We are the public face of the
Smallest Cog. I've got the boxes.
See? Before. Ah, I see. That's for
the Escort. Ah, right.
During. That's for that.
After.
AND... I've got merch.
Oh, you have gone overboard. Oh,
mate. Look.
(LAUGHS)
Genius!
I like that.
That's clever.
There's other ones as well.
I've got...
Yeah? We're a brand.
AND... I have also prepared...
Team T shirt. Wait a minute.
Erm... The logo's on the wrong side.
Uh? The logo's on the back.
Oh, so walk round backwards?
Sorry. Oh, you plank. Sorry.
It's two minutes to ten. Two
minutes? Yeah. Two minutes.
I know. We're officially not ready.
Oh, yeah, people are now gonna be
arriving. Oh, right.
We're not quite ready.
Gentlemen. Hang on.
Yeah, that's better. That's better.
Nice. Good work. Well done.
We are ready.
What do you do when you've got a
stand at a show?
We're supposed to meet people and
talk to them about what we do.
You might struggle with your... who
you are. (LAUGHS)
Hello? How are you?
Mind if we take a picture
with you? Course not. Fire away.
I know what you're thinking. Damn!
He's slightly taller than I am.
I knew that was what was in your
head. I knew it!
Can I give you a card? Richard this
morning. All I've seen him do is
stand there and sign autographs.
Signing pretty pictures of himself.
All we're hearing at the moment is
Oliver Top Gear, Oliver Botswana.
Oliver this and it's like...
Forget Oliver.
Look what we actually do.
See how many selfies he's been
doing? Yeah. They think it's just
a TV show.
Yeah. They think it's a gimmick,
flash in the pan, like a bit of...
But it's not, it's our livelihood.
Right. I'm gonna get an example of
each one and put them up.
What do you think? Then if I put
them there? There's a Large
Cogzilla.
And you want a Medium who let the
cogs out? Is this this till?
Neil, we've opened a clothing
company. I've lost Dad and Richard
now to selling merchandise.
It's very exciting. We might
actually have another way of
covering our monumental and
ongoing losses.
The thing is, they're selling
merchandise which we might take 200
quid, if we're lucky.
But, really, if we could talk to
people,
we can make more money by
getting jobs booked in.
A flurry of activity. I didn't
realise it would be that busy.
Of course, no-one launched a
successful business on T shirts
alone.
Well, perhaps they did but I've got
to get networking.
There are the Jensens.
Lots of them.
What did the guy say when you said,
'Can you work on it?'
He said he's not gonna do another
one. That's what I was thinking.
This is Neil who's currently doing
one for us at the Smallest Cog. Hi.
Nice to meet you. It's a lovely car.
You got your work cut out.
Cos they're not an easy car to work
on. Everything's handmade.
Nothing fits because every Jensen is
built specifically to that
particular car.
He hasn't slept for a week and a
half. I don't think he would. It's
not an easy job. No.
This is my baby, this.
My dream since I was 14.
Why Interceptors?
Just the name Jensen Interceptor is
what sold me. This is really cool.
And I wouldn't dream of buying
anything else.
Even if I won a lottery tomorrow,
this is my car. You should come and
see us
and if there's any work that
ever needs doing, that's us.
OK. There we are. You're a good
man. Thank you.
Nice meeting you.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
We've taken on that Jensen and
that's gonna be quite a big job.
Are you Jensen folk? Yes. We run
Cropredy Bridge.
We're probably the
largest outfit restoring Jensens...
Right. ..that you can find.
Well, we've got one.
(ALL LAUGH) There it is. It's not
done yet. Yeah. Yeah.
What's the secret, then, to scaling
up our brand-new little business?
Get one under your belt. And set a
deadline as to when you do want to
finish it.
Because we've done so many now, it
means that we've got an
understanding
of how long something takes to be
done on a car, et cetera.
Those lessons have been learned over
a long time.
They have. We need to steal their
files!
Overall, a REALLY positive day. Some
great things to see and I enjoyed
it.
And I guess, now, a lot of business
cards handed out.
We wait and see what jobs come in.
This could easily turn out to be a
very expensive folly that I regret.
Do you realise, seriously, how much
money we've spent on this car?
How much for a new one?
'You're looking 20 plus.'
Gotta make him see it's not a game,
is it? It's serious.
OK.
I'm gonna go and have a little cry.
We're, literally,
gonna run out of money.
It's all very real now.
'Hello.' Chris? 'Yes.'
Hammond. 'What? Richard Hammond?'
Oh, here we go.
The Smallest
Cog is gonna be exhibiting
at the London Classic Car Show.
(ENGINE REVS) To be honest, you've
got my attention a bit now.
(LAUGHS) You see?
But as the big day approaches...
They're coming in the next hour.
(GASPS)
..the wheels come off.
Oh, for crying out loud.
Restoring cars is not easy.
There, look!
London Classic Car Show!
I need a nervous poo. (LAUGHS)
Cars could be my life.
A little bit more!
Talking about them...
This is a force of nature.
..thrashing them.
That's not what I wanted to see.
..and crashing them.
But now...
Don't panic, I'm here.
..I'm fulfilling my lifelong dream
and starting my own
classic car workshop...
Should I get my overalls on?
..restoring some of the finest
classic cars in the world...
Heavenly automotive lord...
..with father and son team
Neil and Anthony Greenhouse.
We're trusting him with our
reputation.
Look away. Bodging in process.
Oh, you, son of a-
I'll be learning
how to be a businessman...
What you need is The Smallest Cog.
To be honest, you've
got my attention a bit now.
..and getting my hands dirty.
I'm gonna swallow this screw in a
minute and die. Cam you do it
quietly?
It'll test my bank balance...
We could ruin
the business quite easily.
..and my relationships.
You'll enjoy it.
Will I?
..as I take my obsession
to a whole new level.
It's the best game I've ever played
and the most terrifying.
(MUSIC)
Hello, Smallest Cog,
how can I help you?
Yes, we are, sir. We are indeed.
How did you hear about us? Ooh.
That is a beautiful car. DB4.
Is it a GT?
It is a GT. Lovely! Lovely.
It's only a shame, sir,
that you don't exist.
(SIGHS) This isn't quite
the start I wanted.
Erm... The whole business plan is
founded on...
take the skills, the experience of
these guys...
blend it with my...profile.
Cos, you know, I'm on the telly...
and put it in a brand-new
state-of-the-art workshop
that people can come and look at.
Because I can't say to somebody,
'Bring your quarter of a million
pound car here
to spend another quarter of a
million pounds on it.' Cos...
I mean... yeah, looks aren't
everything but...
..it doesn't have what we need.
It doesn't have
the facilities and it's...
We need that workshop.
But we've been having some planning
issues with the new workshop build.
A few weeks ago, all we had was two
piles of dirt
and some holes in the ground.
It's been unbelievably annoying to
be caught up in council red tape
BUT we have now got a green light on
the planning.
So, I'm hoping to see progress
today.
And from what I hear from my new
landlord Hadrian,
the builders have
been making up for lost time.
Looks a bit different now, don't it?
It's massive. Yeah, well, I kept
telling you that but you wouldn't
believe me.
No, but it's... it's enormous.
That's typical you, that is. It's
made of metal and too big.
Now I've gotta dress it, make it
look pretty and I know you're gonna
laugh.
You're gonna be
an appalling neighbour
but THAT is gonna look... beautiful.
What is this? It's a power float.
That's the big of kit that's gonna
give you a nice floor.
It puts the shine on concrete.
But it'll sink.
No, cos that's already gone off.
I've never seen one of those. Look,
here he goes.
Hey-hey!
Oh, that is epic.
I expect you'd like to have a go on
that later, wouldn't you?
I'm absolutely desperate to have a
go. OK, so terms and conditions.
Landlord, tenant.
Don't (BLEEP) my floor.
Who owns it? Me. Is it valuable?
20 grand. 20 grand. Right.
(REVVING) That's the key one,
throttle.
Right. This one controls this side.
Yeah.
And this one controls this side.
Right. You'll get the feel of it but
it's better flat out.
Yeah.
(LAUGHS)
I'm totally out of control.
I have absolutely no control over
what's happening to me right now.
I'm simply moving.
I can do nothing...
Hey-hey!
I don't know that I've done it very
well but it's brilliant!
I'm gonna get muddy boots. I've made
a terrible me- Ugh!
(LAUGHS) Don't walk in that! That's
not set.
Sorry. Sorry.
I'm very pleased that I will have
contributed to finishing the
workshop.
I will look at that floor
every day and go,
'I did that dip in
the middle. I made that myself.'
Thinking about it, we will be moving
up a level.
That is... That's big time.
When's it gonna be ready? There's a
few...issues at the moment.
British Steel have shut their order
book for six weeks.
I'll be ruined before I can take
over the building.
It's just space is what I need.
Well, I can't do anything about
the world's resources
not being in
Herefordshire at the moment.
Right, so six weeks delay
on the steel.
That's gonna delay me two months
getting into the workshop.
And I've gotta go and tell the guys.
They're not gonna be pleased.
Chaps, coffees. There you go. That's
yours. Thank you.
Ant, there's one for you there.
Oh, cheers, mate. Thank you.
Erm... so...
A bit of bad news. There's another
problem with the workshop.
As in what way?
The problem is... steel.
There's...
You can't get hold of steel.
So, we've got permission
but we can't actually build.
We haven't got the metal and I'm
sorry it's gonna delay it.
It's one delay after another, isn't
it? I know.
At the moment we're a bit stuck.
Anyway, now you know. No, we carry
on. Sorry.
That's all right. Thanks
for the coffee. You're welcome.
I thought it might soften the blow.
How many more times is he gonna have
an excuse his place ain't gonna be
done? This new garage? I know.
He said at the start, 'I'll have
a new garage, I'll get it sorted.'
You get this picture and then
all of a sudden you get -
like you're going forward and moving
back and back.
It's just gutting cos you wanna move
on. Yeah. You wanna get on with it.
Rome wasn't built in a day. No.
Nor was our shed.
(DOOR SQUEAKS)
We might have to wait
for the new workshop
but that doesn't mean
we have to sit still.
Why are driving? You're in
charge of calibration.
And you're in charge of driving?
My car? Yeah.
Monty, my beloved Jaguar XK150 is in
the final stages of restoration.
Once we've checked the speedo, we
can get it out of this old workshop
and at least create some space for
any other work we can grab.
Brown number two.
This is Grey Goose.
Er, we'll come up on you, set it at
50 miles an hour. 50, please.
The old ways are the best.
At a certain speed, I'll give a hand
signal
and then we'll see
if the calibration has worked.
Fingers crossed.
OK. If you just hold it at 50,
we'll pull alongside and
then indicate when we're at 50.
Well, this is the moment of truth.
Coming up 47... 48... 49...
OK. Show we when we got 50.
50. There it is.
50. We're on 50.
OK, let's try for a 60.
60. 60!
That's 60. It's about right. It's
about right.
OK. Looking for 70.
This is a belt and braces...
The old XK150's going well.
I've got a job to catch it.
Er... OK.
Yep, that's 70 for us.
That's 70 for us. We're at 70.
That works. It works.
Been working on this car for a
couple of years on and off.
For us, it's a really big moment
that she's good to go on the road at
long last.
The workshop's now empty but we've
still got the issue of no customers.
Everyone keeps telling me to get
customers to give me their expensive
cars to restore,
we've gotta win their trust BUT how
do we get the cars to restore,
to prove that we can restore the
cars? It's just chicken and egg.
And one thing occurs to me,
which is:
rather than wait for that car to
come to me, and do a good job,
I go and get a car.
I know the guys have restored my Jag
but we need something that's
notoriously difficult to restore.
And that's where
I've had another idea.
Jensen Interceptor.
My grandad worked there so there's a
connection there.
It's sort
of improving my credibility.
But they're known to be hard to
restore.
I've floated this idea with Neil.
He wasn't entirely pleased cos they
are difficult to work on BUT
he agrees if I can find a car that
is complete, it might be doable.
All I've gotta do is find them the
right one.
That's where I could go wrong.
(MUSIC)
Well, I mulled it over, slept on it
and then spent £17,000.
(HORN)
Guys?
(CLEARS THROAT)
Oh, yeah! Yes!
Jensen Interceptor Mark II.
That is a job. Oh, my God.
That is...
I mean, it's solid. It's not bad.
It's not bad.
Somebody's taken a leap of faith
buying this little beauty.
I want it to be mint, really
beautiful.
Can you reach the pedals? Yes.
(ENGINE REVS)
Ooh. What do you reckon?
To be honest, you've got my
attention a bit now.
(LAUGHS) You see? You see?
Be a good advert for us if we get it
done nice. It would be good for us
to show what we can do.
The problem is they're very, very
complicated, handmade. Yeah.
Nothing fits off another car. You
can't just go and buy bits for it.
You can get panels but even the
panels you can buy you gotta make
fit. Yeah.
What could we be talking, then?
You could spend £100,000 on this
car and I am not joking.
And I'm not laughing.
Restoring the Jensen
will take months.
We can't take up space in the
workshop on a car that's not
bringing in any cash.
So, it's gonna have to live at
Neil's house.
Thanks for lending us your garage.
As long as you sweep the floor. I
will, don't worry.
Can you imagine what this car must
have looked like when it was new?
Utterly brilliant.
These were the sexiest car. This
car, back in the day, was known as
the Brummie Ferrari.
These cars were handmade and the
problem is there's not many of these
cars left.
You can't nip down the road,
borrow your mate's
and go, 'Can I have a look under the
bonnet?' Cos there's not many.
My grandfather...
touched this car and said,
(BRUMMIE ACCENT) 'Send that out into
the world. Give it to its customer.'
Interior first, I reckon. Seats?
Yeah.
Careful. Careful. Careful.
I'm being careful. What?
Don't scratch anything. You gotta
keep these things as a package. You
might not be able to get a piece.
Don't throw anything away. Keep
every bit.
Next.
I'm excited cos... my
grandad. My grandad was here.
Tell me it's paperwork.
Oh, God, I love paperwork.
I'm obsessive about paperwork.
I keep seeing the name Pilkington.
A R Pilkington
of Pilkington Brothers Ltd.
Flat glass division. Yeah, they were
the people who invented flat glass.
Sir Pilkington. This glass
was probably made by Pilkington.
So, he made his own glass for his
own car.
Guarantee claim. So, he obviously
went back with a few problems.
This is in December 1970, the year
it was born.
This is from A R Pilkington
to Mr Kendall 23rd April 1971.
During the week which you have my
car available,
I would ask you to ensure your
service department spend sufficient
time on it
to eradicate the various minor
defects which are very annoying.
The most important thing is,
naturally, the back axle which you
will be changing.
(CHUCKLES)
The engine is very rough and I
suspect that there is a hole
somewhere in the exhaust system.
Oh, and this just goes on and on and
on.
He's so cross, before he's
signed it he's written,
please let me know when the car is
ready,
I don't want it back half finished.
It was born, came out into the world
and disintegrated.
So, we've gotta make it better than
it came out of the factory.
Yes, please. For God's sake.
But then your grandad signed off-
All right! That's my lineage.
He was having an off day.
In many ways, my grandfather is
responsible for this whole venture,
this whole workshop mission because
I want to,
in my own little way,
walk in his footsteps.
But... I've just bought an example
of a car that he's said...
(BRUMMIE ACCENT)
'That's great. Send it out.'
And... it appears to have
fallen apart WEEKS later.
(BARKS)
(EXHALES) Well, what we've got here
is the rear tailgate off the Jensen
Interceptor.
When the windscreen was in it and
the rubbers covered and everything,
all looked OK but it's not good
news, I'm afraid.
It's rotted from the inside out.
It's very hard to estimate
the amount of labour.
You could spend probably
five, six days repairing this.
Until it comes back
from the sandblaster's
and we get it stripped and
blasted, then we won't really know.
But time will tell.
Road car shows.
This is about the London
Classic Car Show.
The decision the organiser of the
the London Classic Car Show made at
the end of January
to move from April to June has
proven insightful
with the outdoor
show almost certain to go ahead.
So, that's a classic car show.
And I need to be at it
and it's been
organised by... Chris Hughes,
who I know, like, really well.
Cos he used to do the live shows
that we did all over the world.
(RINGING)
'Hello.' Chris? 'Yes.'
Hammond. 'What? Richard Hammond?'
Oh, here we go.
Yes. Hello, mate. 'Hi.'
This is a serious call.
'Yes, OK.' Right.
So, I've launched this classic car
restoration business. 'Yes.'
And I need to give it, like, a push.
I need people to see it.
'Excellent.' I need people to see
who we are so...
'So, are you gonna buy a stand
off me, is that what you want?'
'Are you ringing to give me money?'
I... I can't do that.
And... can you not...just as a mate,
you know?
'OK. So, it is a real business?'
Yes.
It totally is, yes. 'And it's a
restoration business?'
Yep. 'So, I potentially do a bit of
before, after and during
restoration.'
That's quite clever. I like that
idea.
'And then people will look at the
cars and then get chatting to you.'
OK. One other ask.
'Yeah.' Could you bring my cars to
the event?
'Yes... then, in which case, cos you
wouldn't know this
cos you've never
been business trained,
but in the art of the negotiating,
one of the key principles,
if anyone ever asks for something,
you're supposed to ask for something
back.'
'Otherwise it demeans you.
So, what do I get in return?'
Well, what would you want in return?
'I guess the obvious thing
is to whore your celebrity.'
'Is to promote your face
a little bit
so I get to sell a few tickets
on the back of your face.'
OK. That's a deal. 'Is it?'
Yeah, I'll do that. Cheers, Chris.
'Bye.' Bye.
Hoo-hoo.
OK. I've... I've... Dealing with
real business people is terrifying
because they're actually quite good
at this so you...
I think I've done
all right out of that.
And I like the before, during and
after thing.
I'm very glad I thought of it just
then whilst talking to Chris Hughes.
Chaps, I've had a brilliant idea.
The Smallest Cog is gonna be
exhibiting at the London Classic Car
Show.
I've blagged us a stand. We'll be
there, Smallest Cog. Our own
stand? Our own stand?
And they want the stand to have a
bit of a story to it and what we
cooked up is...
three cars on it and we have an
after restoration,
cos this is
pushing us as restorers...
Monty. This. Yeah, after
restoration, then we have a
during... Jensen. Yeah.
So, we need to get... we need to get
that...some work done.
Work in progress sort of. Exactly
right and then the third would be a
before restoration.
That's one we haven't done.
One that we've bought that we've
got. But we ain't got nothing.
What if, WE were to buy a car and
restore it and sell it?
And make some money. I'll pay for it
but the company will have to pay me
back when we sell it.
Just be careful when you-
Yeah. Yeah. Buy wisely. Yeah.
All- Yes, all right.
I will buy wisely.
I'll let you know what I'm looking
for. Good idea. It's good, innit? I
like that.
Remember this, you make the money
when you buy the car, not when you
sell it so buy it right.
Is that another saying? Yep. Good.
Measure twice, cut once. Exactly.
Our workshop's not ready. We can't
take people to our new workshop. No.
So,
WE take our work to the public.
When you go to a London Classic Car
Show, you're out there in front of
the whole world.
It's not local, it's worldwide.
Scary but... It is scary. But then
again, if you never have that bit of
adrenaline,
then it wouldn't be worth doing.
Wouldn't be doing at all.
Be like going on a first date. Would
be...
(MUSIC)
I've got the after, a Jaguar XK.
I need the during, I've got
that, the Jensen. I need the before.
I think
it's a '70s or '80s fast Ford.
They are flying up in value.
You see, Ford Capri...
Ooh, Cosworth.
Ooh. Some great stuff here.
So, hang on, there is one UK
supplied car. That's good.
Midnight blue.
That could be it. I shall have
another gin and think about that.
Drinking and bidding is a good idea.
(MUSIC)
Do you wanna grab that, Dad, so it
doesn't bounce off down the road?
Today, the Jensen
is off to the sandblaster's.
Now we'll find out how bad it is.
It's a big day for removing years of
history and rust.
I think Richard's gonna have a big
shock when this comes back.
Little bits of rust like that are
gonna turn into a big piece of rust
like this.
Cos at the moment, he's still living
with the romance
of what it's gonna be like this car,
nice sunny day driving it
but to get to that dream, you've
gotta
get through the nightmare first.
All right.
I better get the picture up, then.
She always cuts it from a picture of
Robert Downey Jr.
(I don't know why.)
Can I get you a coffee? No, thank
you.
Do you want some magazines to read?
No, thank you.
Put your head down a bit, please.
So, how do you think it's performing
at the moment,
the old Smallest Cog?
Well, erm...
People are receiving us warmly.
They like to hear about it.
Have you got the phone working yet?
Well, I've gotta top it up.
I don't know how to do that.
What? Pay As You Gos? Yeah.
Why didn't you buy a proper phone?
Saving money. That's a bit crap,
isn't it?
Cos if you were ringing a business
to get your car fixed,
and you rang the number and it went
'Bbbbbvvv.'
You'd just think, 'Well,
that doesn't exist.'
And you'd never ring it again, would
you?
So, don't you think that was a
bit daft, to say the very least?
You need to do a business plan, like
a proper business plan.
But a business plan isn't gonna
bring money in, is it?
A business plan will work out what's
coming in against what's coming
out. There's nothing coming in.
It'll let you see how much money you
need to generate from it.
I know how much I need to generate.
How much?
About nine grand a month. Falling a
little bit short, aren't we?
Just a little, tiny bit. Honestly.
You're unbelievable sometimes.
Thank you. Not in a good way. Oh.
The London Classic Car Show is a
week away and I've been shopping
for the car that we can take for our
before restoration example.
I bought it at auction.
The guys haven't seen it yet.
I think they're gonna be...
I think they'll be pleased.
This is a doubly exciting day for
you because you get to come into my
secret lair.
I have bought... THIS.
Ooh. Escort Mk II RS2000.
I've been quite anxious.
I paid 24,000.
BUT...
..these go for 40, 45, 50.
Now they do, yeah.
Depending upon what parts we need,
there's ten, 15 grand profit in here
for us.
That pays for running costs for a
month. Yeah.
You might have the lucky gene on
buying cars.
I'm hoping you have because
sometimes you have gotta be brave
and take a chance.
Thank you. I think we're all excited
about this one.
You're containing it well.
I never show too much excitement
until I have a really good look
because-
You don't show too much excitement
unless it's your idea. Yeah.
Then it's amazing. (LAUGHS)
RS2000 rare car now. Yeah.
They're making astronomical- They're
making big money. They're big money.
Tell me I bought well.
My pride is on the line.
Er... put your pride in your back
pocket for a minute!
I don't care for your opinion.
Fortune favours the bold. Yep. Bald!
If fortune favoured the BALD,
you'd be minted by now!
We've gotta be careful. If we say,
'It's a good buy, he'll buy more.'
He'll buy everything and one day
he will drop a clanger.
So, between me and you, he's done
all right.
BUT don't tell him.
Don't tell him.
So, London Car Show, get it back,
crack on. AND sell it and make
money.
The Jensen's finally back from the
sandblaster.
Good job too. The classic car show
is less than a week away
and Neil hasn't
done a scrap of work on the car.
We'll find out now what she's
really like.
The moment of truth.
Whoa!
Wait. Wait. It's going on the ramp.
Oh. Am I the only one that's scared?
OK, come on. Let's have a
look. Let's do it.
The less water gets on the- Give it
a good shake.
Oh, for crying out loud. Really? Do
you wanna go for another one? No!
Well, what are we seeing? It's had a
bit of tin worm.
BUT...
That looks all good, don't it? Well,
I am surprised.
The boot floor's usually rot. It's
still there. It's really good there.
Yeah, not bad. This is not bad at
all. I think you've been very lucky.
Whoa! Wait a minute!
I haven't been very lucky, I've used
judgement and skill.
I bought well. Say it. No, you have
bought well.
Lucky. Say it so somebody else
can hear it.
(CLEARS THROAT) Yeah. Right, OK.
It's never gonna happen. I'm not
gonna get that out of them.
You done all right. Could be a lot
worse. You've done OK.
Passed the initial inspection. So
far, so good.
Look at that.
(SIGHS) Well, what we got here, is
the rear tailgate.
You see where it's double skinned,
look,
and the skin underneath has
rotting away, like.
That is living, absolute hell on
earth that is.
You wanna have a look at this. Oh.
Oh, yes.
Oh. Oh, it's a bit lacy.
Can you buy these? No.
It's... It's remake this or scrap
the car. Yeah, yeah.
Can you do it? I can do it, yeah.
I can definitely do it but what's
the next question?
How long? How long?
I knew you'd say that.
It's just... It's midnight oil
again, innit?
It's hours and hours
and hours but...
I am eating company resources with
this project, aren't I?
I mean, look at that. How are you
gonna make that?
The rest of the car, it's got issues
but this is the big one to get
sorted, yeah.
Are you cross with me, Neil? No, no,
no. I'm not cross at you.
You've gone quiet. I am, really
but... Yeah. I think you're cross
with me.
We're just days away from the London
Classic Car Show.
Neil has a plan for the Jensen
but time is not on his side.
What I would like to do,
is repair one side of the car
and just try and
make it look like new on one side.
The actual doorframe, body shell is
good
so we're gonna replace the door
skin, new wing, new door skin,
and then we're gonna top it off in a
brand-new rear quarter.
So, all this side of the car will be
new and it will be a before and
after.
So you can see this has been
transformed from a rusty old car
into, basically, this side will be
like a new body shell.
The downside to that is that these
cars are bespoke.
Back in the day they were handmade,
hand finished
so everything has gotta be made to
fit
and that goes for the new panels.
The problem is the Classic Car Show
is not far away
and I just wanna do the very best I
can to promote the business
and promote our skills but I'm just
worried about the time.
I've got so much work to do.
How are we? Oh, morning. Oh. Ah.
Breakfast. You deserve a treat,
you're working hard and here it is.
Aw, look at that.
Pastries. Many and various.
Thank you. I think I might have
slightly earned this.
Feast, gentlemen. Thank you.
There you are.
The London Classic Car Show people
want the cars tomorrow instead of
Friday.
Are you taking the mick?
(LAUGHS) Seriously? No?
That's not gonna be nowhere near
ready. No.
Right. We're there on the Saturday
but the show's set up Thursday...
Right.
And they want the cars there
to build the show around it.
This, then,
is the sweetener, is it?
It's not a sweetener. You deserve
it. You're working really hard
and you need food because it may be
that you're gonna have to work
REALLY, REALLY hard. Tomorrow
morning? Afternoon?
I'm trying to push it as far along
tomorrow as I can
and I'm trying to buy some extra
time for that
but I'm just not making any more
promises that I can't keep.
Notice the sun's gone away now. This
is quite depressing, innit?
Bacon roll and then... Don't cry.
Don't cry.
And then we'll get on with it, then.
That's the attitude.
It never rains
but it pours, does it?
I was a bit suspicious this morning
when he turned up with... loads of
food and drink.
We just have to push on and get it
done and ready to go and just get
them gone.
(BANGING)
(SIGHS AND WHIMPERS)
The motor trade is not easy.
Restoring cars is not easy.
That panel will come out now,
though, won't it?
(MUSIC)
As part of my deal with classic car
show organiser Chris Hughes,
I've agreed to take a well-known car
to add to my supposed celebrity
appeal.
Right...
This is Oliver.
1962 little yellow Opel Kadett
that I drove across Botswana
in a previous life.
Ah.
That puncture
means it's
not driveable.
And there is no spare wheel.
I didn't think there was and there
isn't.
Erm... Oh, God.
Right. I am on a deadline because
I've gotta get to the workshop
quickly to get all these cars away.
They want this one to go with them.
Oh, God.
Right. Erm...
OK.
Oh, please fit! Come on!
Oh, there, look. That's just
perished. That's from being stood.
I'm gonna have to go and see if I
can get it repaired at the tyre
place.
Wallet.
Oh, for crying out loud!
What? Brilliant.
Hang on. Let me just call Ant.
Assuming this thing is connected to
the thing, is it?
(RINGING)
'Welcome to the EE answering
service. I'm sorry but the person...
Oh, no! No, no. ..you called
is not available.' He bloody is.
Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah, not a problem,
mate. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'll see you
then. OK. Ta-ta.
Bye-bye.
Oh, no.
(RINGING) Hello?
(RINGING) Ant? Hello? 'Hello. You
all right?' Yes.
I've just had a phone call off
the transport company. 'Yes.'
They're coming in the next hour.
(GASPS)
Yeah. I've only got one car. 'Yeah.'
Oliver's got a flat tyre and it's
not a soft puncture, it's...
So, what shall I do with the
delivery man? Just sweet talk him?
Dance. Offer him a cup of tea or
anything to eat out of the fridge.
The diarrhoea will occupy him for a
couple of hours. (LAUGHS)
I'll try and do that! Let's not
panic. We'll get there.
We will get there. It's all doable.
OK. Not a problem. All right, mate.
Stay cool.
'See you soon. Bye.' See you.
(SHRIEKS) I don't like it in the
real world.
I've had a lovely time in TV world
for best part of 30 years.
Right. Please be open, please be
feeling generous.
(HUMS)
I seem to remember they're quite
nice folk. Right.
Some begging is going to occur. This
may be undignified.
(EXHALES)
Anything at all
that can be the
same size as that?
It's perished,
I think.
No? Sorry. (SHRIEKS)
Let me just double-check.
He says he hasn't got one. Well, he
said, 'We won't have one.' Oh...
(RINGING) 'Hello.'
All right, Dad?
'All right.' Er, bit of a dilemma.
Delivery truck is coming in half
hour.
'For what?' To pick up the cars for
the car show.
You're having a laugh, aren't you?
Half one, two o'clock, he said.
Richard's stuck in Ross with Oliver
with a flat tyre and I need the RS.
Just hang on. I'll bring the RS over
now a bit quick, get it out the way
and then you'll have to see what
happens when Richard gets back.
I'm just worried about Oliver now
stuck in Ross.
At least the suns out, eh?
I'm not very happy, really, because
the plan was to get half the car
restored,
get half the body panels
on this side.
So, I'm just gonna just place this
wing on just to give it a bit of a
look,
a feel for what it will look
like when the panels are on there.
The kind man at the garage inflated
Oliver's tyre.
How long it'll last is anyone's
guess.
It's like watching F1.
(ENGINE STRUGGLES) Begin!
(ENGINE SLOWLY STARTS)
Aha-ha!
The lorry's gonna be turning up
in about 20 minutes.
I just hope all this is worth it in
the end because it's a lot of stress
and stress I don't need, really.
Come on, everybody.
This is the diversion causing this.
Why today?
And there's never been this much
traffic on this road.
I've never seen it...
I mean... who comes here?
There's only me.
The transporter's gonna be here
any second
and Richard's, hopefully,
gonna be here soon
cos I'm gonna be in a lot of trouble
with the lorry driver, I think.
We're not too far away. Oh, no,
we've come across a traffic jam.
Oh, lovely.
What's going on here now?
Oh, I am worried about that tyre.
That is... It's pulling now. I can
feel it.
Oh, lorry's here. Great.
Here we go.
It is SO close now.
This is to the wire.
You all right, mate?
One of those days, innit?
(LAUGHS)
Bloody hell, the lorry's here.
(GIGGLES)
Well done, Ollie. You total hero.
Plucky little star. I do love you.
It's all good fun, isn't it?
What's the tyre like? Oh, lovely,
yeah.
You're a very lucky boy. That's...
red. We have a nice driver, which
I was worried about. That's good.
You don't want a horrible driver,
then you're in a world of pain.
I'll pull, you push. Yeah.
Keep going, keep going. Whoa.
Keep coming.
Fat boy slim's got a sweat, hang on.
You all right? No.
I've got a headache.
I've also had an email from Kamala,
the accountant.
I've GOT to put some more money into
this business today.
It's a deadline beyond which you
can't go because you're-
they call
it trading insolvently.
So, it means I'm gonna have to...
put a large sum of money...
..50 grand, into the bank account.
Erm... to keep us going.
(ENGINE REVS) I really need this
show to work. I need...
I mean, it's all... it's fun and
games but I need...
I need somebody to come to this show
and say, 'These guys are good.
Restore this for me.'
OK.
It's gonna be quite exposing being
on that stand for the business.
If we give the impression that we're
just an indulgence for some bloke
off the telly, we've had it.
We could... We could ruin the
business quite easily.
(MUSIC)
There, look!
London Classic Car Show.
There it is.
Look, stuff. Ooh!
It's like going to the circus as a
kid except we're in it.
Mustang!
Oh. Oh, SL. Very nice.
Ooh, Rover Vitesse.
(LAUGHS) Right. This is officially
quite exciting.
Look at all those cars. I need a
nervous poo. (LAUGHS)
Right. Erm... Shall we go and scope
out... Yeah.
Not get distracted by the cars.
Coming in. Thank you.
Look, it's there. Oh.
(CRUNCHING) Mate, that's another of
your executive... suitcases.
Pull your T shirt down.
(GIGGLES) You're representing our
business now.
We are the public face of the
Smallest Cog. I've got the boxes.
See? Before. Ah, I see. That's for
the Escort. Ah, right.
During. That's for that.
After.
AND... I've got merch.
Oh, you have gone overboard. Oh,
mate. Look.
(LAUGHS)
Genius!
I like that.
That's clever.
There's other ones as well.
I've got...
Yeah? We're a brand.
AND... I have also prepared...
Team T shirt. Wait a minute.
Erm... The logo's on the wrong side.
Uh? The logo's on the back.
Oh, so walk round backwards?
Sorry. Oh, you plank. Sorry.
It's two minutes to ten. Two
minutes? Yeah. Two minutes.
I know. We're officially not ready.
Oh, yeah, people are now gonna be
arriving. Oh, right.
We're not quite ready.
Gentlemen. Hang on.
Yeah, that's better. That's better.
Nice. Good work. Well done.
We are ready.
What do you do when you've got a
stand at a show?
We're supposed to meet people and
talk to them about what we do.
You might struggle with your... who
you are. (LAUGHS)
Hello? How are you?
Mind if we take a picture
with you? Course not. Fire away.
I know what you're thinking. Damn!
He's slightly taller than I am.
I knew that was what was in your
head. I knew it!
Can I give you a card? Richard this
morning. All I've seen him do is
stand there and sign autographs.
Signing pretty pictures of himself.
All we're hearing at the moment is
Oliver Top Gear, Oliver Botswana.
Oliver this and it's like...
Forget Oliver.
Look what we actually do.
See how many selfies he's been
doing? Yeah. They think it's just
a TV show.
Yeah. They think it's a gimmick,
flash in the pan, like a bit of...
But it's not, it's our livelihood.
Right. I'm gonna get an example of
each one and put them up.
What do you think? Then if I put
them there? There's a Large
Cogzilla.
And you want a Medium who let the
cogs out? Is this this till?
Neil, we've opened a clothing
company. I've lost Dad and Richard
now to selling merchandise.
It's very exciting. We might
actually have another way of
covering our monumental and
ongoing losses.
The thing is, they're selling
merchandise which we might take 200
quid, if we're lucky.
But, really, if we could talk to
people,
we can make more money by
getting jobs booked in.
A flurry of activity. I didn't
realise it would be that busy.
Of course, no-one launched a
successful business on T shirts
alone.
Well, perhaps they did but I've got
to get networking.
There are the Jensens.
Lots of them.
What did the guy say when you said,
'Can you work on it?'
He said he's not gonna do another
one. That's what I was thinking.
This is Neil who's currently doing
one for us at the Smallest Cog. Hi.
Nice to meet you. It's a lovely car.
You got your work cut out.
Cos they're not an easy car to work
on. Everything's handmade.
Nothing fits because every Jensen is
built specifically to that
particular car.
He hasn't slept for a week and a
half. I don't think he would. It's
not an easy job. No.
This is my baby, this.
My dream since I was 14.
Why Interceptors?
Just the name Jensen Interceptor is
what sold me. This is really cool.
And I wouldn't dream of buying
anything else.
Even if I won a lottery tomorrow,
this is my car. You should come and
see us
and if there's any work that
ever needs doing, that's us.
OK. There we are. You're a good
man. Thank you.
Nice meeting you.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
We've taken on that Jensen and
that's gonna be quite a big job.
Are you Jensen folk? Yes. We run
Cropredy Bridge.
We're probably the
largest outfit restoring Jensens...
Right. ..that you can find.
Well, we've got one.
(ALL LAUGH) There it is. It's not
done yet. Yeah. Yeah.
What's the secret, then, to scaling
up our brand-new little business?
Get one under your belt. And set a
deadline as to when you do want to
finish it.
Because we've done so many now, it
means that we've got an
understanding
of how long something takes to be
done on a car, et cetera.
Those lessons have been learned over
a long time.
They have. We need to steal their
files!
Overall, a REALLY positive day. Some
great things to see and I enjoyed
it.
And I guess, now, a lot of business
cards handed out.
We wait and see what jobs come in.
This could easily turn out to be a
very expensive folly that I regret.
Do you realise, seriously, how much
money we've spent on this car?
How much for a new one?
'You're looking 20 plus.'
Gotta make him see it's not a game,
is it? It's serious.
OK.
I'm gonna go and have a little cry.
We're, literally,
gonna run out of money.
It's all very real now.