Richard Hammond's Workshop (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript
Richard opens a classic car restoration workshop, but being the boss of a new business isn't quite what he expected. He ropes in his family to help promote it.
I'm going to work
but I'm going to work...here.
Normally going to work means
passport, travel to airport,
fly somewhere, away for two weeks,
but I'm gonna go out of that door now
and I'll be home again this evening.
It's like a lot of people do, innit?
It's just this is a bit new,
it's very strange.
I've started a classic car
restoration business, for real.
I'm not doing a report on a car.
These will be customers' cars
that we're restoring for them.
So it's a totally new way of working
with something that's very familiar.
(DOG BARKS)
I'll see you this evening.
(DOG BARKS)
Give me a kiss.
(SMACKS LIPS) Good boy.
Mind?
Yeah?
Hello!
I'm going. You're actually going off
to work? I am going to work. Right.
And then I'll come back from work
today.
It's gonna be a culture shock.
Yeah, but I'm gonna do it.
Sure you know what you're doing?
I'm not listening to you now.
Goodbye. Bye-bye.
Wish me luck, please.
Luck.
Thank you.
(TYRES SCREECH)
'Cars have been my life.'
A little bit more!
'Talking about them.'
This is a force of nature.
'Smashing them.'
That's not what I wanted to see!
'And crashing them.'
'But now...'
Don't panic, I'm here.
'..I'm fulfilling my lifelong dream
and starting my own
classic car workshop...'
Should I get my overalls on?
'..restoring some of the finest
classic cars in the world...'
Heavenly automotive law.
'..with father and son team,
Neil and Anthony Greenhouse.'
Trusting him with our reputation.
Look away. Bodging in process.
Oh, you sonofa -
'I'll learn how to be
a businessman...'
What you need is...The Smallest Cog.
(REVS, BACKFIRING)
You've got my attention now.
'..and getting my hands dirty.'
I'm gonna swallow this screw
in a minute and die!
Can you do it quietly?
'It will test my bank balance...'
We can ruin the business
quite easily.
'..and my relationships...'
You'll enjoy it. Will I?
'..as I take my obsession
to a whole new level.'
It's the best game I've ever played
and the most terrifying.
I'm 51. I am suddenly thinking,
is it time...to stop
living out of a suitcase?
What started as an idea, now it's
suddenly becoming very, very real.
And people will know I'm doing this
in the car world
and they will be waiting -
I'm sorry - for me to fail.
And I don't blame them because
I've been waiting for them to fail.
That's how it works.
Actually, I've suddenly realised
it's gonna be really scary, isn't it?
What is it,
poacher turned gamekeeper.
Richard's come along
and offered this opportunity
where he's gonna
put some money up,
using our equipment, materials,
and most of all, experience,
and hopefully
we're gonna make it work.
For us, it's moving onto bigger
things, hopefully,
and Richard can bring that
with him as well. Yeah.
I turned up at this scruffy little
workshop, and out came Neil.
They repaired one of my cars.
And I did think, that is really good.
And then I took them another car
and then I thought,
no, that's actually really good.
I've always thought,
they're being wasted.
There's nothing wrong
with spending your career
repairing a Vauxhall Corsa that's
backed into a bollard in the
supermarket car park,
but they can do so much more.
So what I'm doing with this is trying
to move them up to the next league.
Dad's been here now 26 years.
My mum used to drop me off here
nearly every night after school,
so my love of cars, really,
is from my dad.
And that's all we ever did,
was cars, cars, cars.
The dream for me in this job has
always been to work on classic cars.
Things I've always dreamt
of working on.
Lamborghinis, Ferraris,
Bentleys, Rolls Royces.
I can't wait. Imagine what it'll be
like to have a proper building,
just set up right.
This garage isn't really efficient,
it's not really...
never been big enough.
Never had it, from the minute we
moved in. Yeah, really exciting,
innit? Really exciting.
I'm gonna go and see my mate,
Hadrian.
He's building a new unit that we're
gonna base our business in.
It's quite big.
I've seen the site.
I've seen where... I know the site
where it's gonna go.
Haven't seen how far he's got.
It's not gonna be finished
but I wanna start looking around it
and thinking what's going where.
Ah.
Well, I was hoping it might be
further than this.
H. I knew I was gonna have to use
a BIT of imagination but...?
Why is there nothing there?
Well, we had a...a little bit
of a run-in with the council.
But it's easy to picture
what it's gonna be like, innit?
It'll be amazing.
Where am I gonna be here?
The building's the same as that.
Yeah.
Here, there's a massive
roller shutter door, yeah?
Roller shutter door.
Then a personnel door/window
for, like, your reception,
so you can be posh.
Doors here.
This'll be, like, reception?
Yeah.
So it'll have, like, a desk?
Yep.
And then we've gotta get the ramps
in. I'm gonna have a lift.
I think the spray booth
is going right up there. Yeah.
Come in. Your Lamborghini, sir.
(LAUGHS)
Is this going?
No, this all gets lifted.
And your floor is about there.
Right.
That's your puddle.
Thank you.
The financial side of this, running
a business, that's new to me.
Don't spend what you haven't got
is the key motto.
Cos otherwise it'll just go downhill
so rapid.
Your biggest problem over there
is how many hours you're gonna have
to spend on a job to get it right.
That's the financial clock, that is.
It's not just the wages, it's the
rent, rates, electric, heating,
especially if someone
doesn't pay you on time.
You...you could end up in...
in a big mess.
It's all very grown-up, innit?
It is grown-up, yeah.
That's why so many people
work for other people.
Which is what I've done all my life.
Hmm.
Hope it works. Mindy'll kill me.
I think like many couples, if you've
got one of you who works away a lot
and suddenly they're not working
away a lot,
they then have to sort of integrate
into family life completely,
which has been interesting.
Let's put it interesting.
I'm probably just the worrier.
(LAUGHS)
I'm the one who worries.
That's my job, in a way. I worry.
But that's why I'm sort of keen
there is a proper business plan
and it's not gonna just
sort of choke and die later on,
cos that would be bad.
Very, very bad.
You can't let people down
and, you know,
when people are reliant on you
for their livelihood,
you know, that comes with
a lot of responsibility.
Bit of a worry.
This is not a good day
in my business world.
Not moving into that workshop, that's
more than just a disappointment.
Because my whole business plan
was based on going into
this bigger, brighter, better, newer
workshop, with better kit in it,
it looks better,
we can get more work in
and charge more for the work
that we do.
Nobody's gonna bring their
million-pound car to be restored
in Neil's little old workshop.
'Worse still, I've now got to tell
Neil and Anthony.'
Morning.
Morning. Morning.
Morning. How are we?
This thing's still here, then?
Work in progress, mate,
work in progress.
Erm...on the workshop,
it's not finished yet.
Not far off, though?
Is it built at all?
No.
But, once it gets going,
steel frame up, clad, done.
We'll be in there before we know it.
Meanwhile, can we live in here
a bit longer?
We've been here 26 years. Not gonna
matter a bit longer, is it?
It's all right.
It's the only place I've worked.
17 years. Well...
You've worked here...?
(ALL LAUGH)
No, he's been here...
(ALL LAUGH)
Yeah, we'll be in there before we
know it and we'll have all the space
in the world, I promise.
Talking of space, I do need,
like, a little office.
I should have one, really.
Executive office or a little office?
Well, you belong in here,
being all skilled and craftsperson,
I need, you know...
You can use the office out there.
Can I use your chair, your desk?
You can use, yeah, the chair,
and you can use my kettle as well.
I don't wanna use your kettle.
I'm not falling for that.
Two sugars in my tea, please.
No, no, I'm setting up my office.
(DOG BARKS) Oh, dog!
So the workshop isn't ready.
We can't move into it yet,
which means the business
can't really begin properly,
but I am committed,
so I've got to make the best
of our situation now
whilst we...hold our breath
ready to get into the workshop
and expand to the size we need to be
and get those big jobs in.
'At least we've still got
some of Neil's old regular
customers...'
(HONKS HORN) '..who's...well,
he's got one of these.'
Hello, boys.
Hello, you must be Mac.
It's a Bond Bug.
Why have you got one of these though?
It's not your everyday car, is it?
I'm not an everyday sort of bloke.
I wanted one when I was a kid.
Never got round to it. Here I am.
Everyone wanted one. They're just
epic. They're fabulous little things.
Designed by the guy who designed
the Raleigh Chopper. That's him.
And you can see it, can't you?
It just says 70s all over it.
What do the people of Ross
think of it? Yeah, they love it.
Kids especially love it, you know.
Last summer I took her
into Sainsbury's
and some little kid,
only about six or seven,
come out with his mum
and he was going, "Mum! Mum!
Look at that! Look at that!"
He said to me,
"How fast does it go?"
And I said,
"About 300 miles an hour."
And he went, "Dad! Dad!
It does 300 miles an hour!"
So what's up with it?
DEF Leak. Canopy rattles.
There's a tappity noise
coming from the engine.
Don't know if that's normal.
Right.
I notice there's a button
on the steering wheel
that says 'World Peace.'
That's broke, mate. I don't think
it's ever worked, to be honest.
OK, well, we'll set to
and get that done. Brilliant.
Go. And fix my world peace button.
Get in.
Oh.
Seatbelt. It's just a little bit
on the snug side.
I'm in.
You would be, wouldn't you?
It's...it's...it's not...it's not...
it's not happening, is it?
It's like you doing my tie up
for me.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Oh.
Hello. There.
(ENGINE STARTS)
It works.
It's like driving a big lump
of Red Leicester down the road.
Back in the 70s,
this is what they thought
the invasion was gonna be in,
and it's 2021 and we're still in
them. Yeah, we're still in them.
Right, what we learning, then?
There's a little bit
of tapping noise.
It sounds good on the gearbox.
There's no whining.
It's got that rattle there and
there's a bit of a rattle coming
down the bottom somehow.
Hear that rattling now?
(LOW RATTLING)
Yes.
Yes. And that's...
That is...that could be big end...
or could be... (LOW RATTLING)
Yeah, I can hear it.
(THUD)
Feel that suspension, eh?
(THUD)
What suspension (?)
Yeah, exactly.
Oooh...ahhh.
I'm glad we've got a first customer
in and glad it's the Bond Bug,
cos, well, they're unusual,
and yet it's just bits and pieces
here and there,
some of it cosmetic,
little bits of fixes and rattles.
The only slight worry
is what Neil was saying about
that big end-type knock.
That's from the bottom of the engine.
And if it is the big end, that's...
that'll be bad news for Mac.
There's an engine re-build.
Well, it's been rather
a sobering start
to my new classic car
restoration business.
We've got to clear 100 grand a year.
Yeah.
And that's just to stand still,
that's not to make profit.
That's just purely just to be there.
So let's, just for clarity's sake,
peg that at ten grand a month. Yeah.
After day one, suddenly, ten grand,
that's a lot of Bond Bugs.
A lot of Bond Bugs.
That's a lot of money.
You gotta start looking bigger cars.
But we don't want to turn away
the reasonably-priced cars.
No, we would need to do the small
jobs to keep the money coming in,
and do the big jobs to try and get
the bigger money coming in
to move on and progress.
The thing I can do for the business,
I will get out and try and bring you
those cars in. That's what we need.
I want to arrive at the workshop
with a job and you run out
and it's like,
"Oh, god, I've never even seen one
in the flesh,
always wanted to work on one"
and then get at it.
That's what we want.
I will try my hardest
to bring you those cars.
That would be good.
Final thing. We need a name.
Name? You thought of a name?
We need a name for this
whole operation. Yeah.
It's a bit like the saying, "Them
that know don't need to show."
But you need to put that
into a name.
Got a suggestion.
Yep? What about...that?
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
The Smallest Cog.
The what?
The Smallest Cog.
You speak for yourself (!)
Like the smallest...
We will go right down to the last
minutae, the smallest cog.
It's quite...it's sort of catchy
but...
It's...
Thing is, I've had 150
of these things made.
(LAUGHS)
Oh ...how many?
There's one each.
Oh. Thank you very much.
And I've got one, you see.
Thank you.
Mechanical, old school,
attention to detail,
right down to the smallest cog.
I sense a slight reticence.
Just run with it for a bit. If we
change our mind, we change our mind.
To The Smallest Cog. Cheers.
BOTH: To The Smallest Cog.
It's gonna be huge. You watch.
Hopefully. Fingers crossed.
If we're ever gonna make a success
of this business,
I've got to start bringing in
some high-end cars.
And I've had a brainwave about how
I might just be able to do it.
What you doing in that?
There's a reason for this.
Apart from it's just nice to drive.
There is a 60th anniversary
of the E-type gathering of classics
at Prescott Hill Climb,
so I'm taking this.
I'm gonna go to the show
and just tell people
about how wonderful we are.
So I've brought it in today
cos since you did it, I've used it.
So you haven't looked after it
since you had it back.
I have looked after it.
I spent hours under there. I'm not
gonna, every time I drive it...
What's the show? It's the 60th
anniversary E-type owners...
You want me to detail it? I want it
to be like it was when you did it.
It's a beautiful-looking car.
It is.
And it's your work, your work,
so well done.
Get it back to how it was
when you first presented it to me.
So you're using this as an advert.
Yeah.
Give her a quick rinse off.
Ah, cheers, mate. Thanks.
I'm sorry. I didn't see you.
No, there's no problem.
It was an accident. I'm old,
I'm allowed to make mistakes.
Yeah, normally at night-time
you have your water accidents.
(LAUGHS)
This is exactly the sort of thing
I should be doing.
I need to get our name out there.
It's really important
that people see our work.
Not just to get people to trust us,
but I need them also to get past the,
"Wait a minute, it's that little
fella off the car show. I know him."
Yes, I know, but forget about that
for now.
Our business is our business. The
Smallest Cog is about quality work
that Neil and Anthony do,
because they're craftsmen.
It's nice when you can just stand
back and look at that car
and just think, well...
we actually painted that.
Total respray, wasn't it?
Total respray inside and out.
To still look this good
after all the years we've done it.
If I look that good when I'm sixty,
I won't be complaining.
Well, you ain't got far, have you?
(CHUCKLES)
(BEE BUZZES)
'This Jaguar meet
is a social event as well,
so getting the family along
could be the clincher.
Thing is, though, getting them
to swap hooves for tyres
is a bit of a hard sell.'
(HORSE NICKERS)
We'll be, like, you know,
there with one of the cars
and we'll be part of it.
I've already said I'll come... OK.
..if I have no prior engagements.
Right.
Well, you might actually enjoy it.
There might be bits you think,
hey, that's really cool.
I've not seen that. Mm-hm.
There might even be shops.
You can buy stuff.
I'll get back to you
in three to five working days.
It's gonna go well. She's gonna...
I can just see there's a glimmer
of something there.
It's piqued her interest.
I think she'll come.
Just gotta try the other two now.
Willow, the younger daughter,
has already bailed,
but Izzy, hopefully, is coming
with her boyfriend, Cam.
Mrs Hammond also will be joining.
She's quite weary this morning.
We had a very late night.
But we're fresh as a daisy today.
Well, the car is ready.
Right, the making of the picnic.
I can do this.
Did you want me to tell
you what to put in - No. OK.
I'm just gonna do my own thing.
OK.
It's my day. I'm asking you
to do it for me as a favour,
so I will prepare the picnic.
Please tell me you're not making
any egg sandwiches.
Please tell me you're not.
No.
You got any gherkins? At the top,
top, I'd say top, back of the...
This is so far out
of your comfort zone.
What about pickled onions?
(RATTLING OF TINS AND JARS)
Not many people slice a pickled
onion and put it in a sandwich,
can I just -
Am I making this picnic or are you?
Erm...
Aw, that'll be really nice.
(CHUCKLES)
Ohhh.
I'm gonna take this
and put it in the car
and then we'll be ready to go.
(THUNDER)
Oh.
Oh, bloody hell.
(ENGINE STARTS)
'It'll be a big classic car day,
loads of E-types there,
and just classic car fans generally,
and I need to get our name out there.
(ENGINES REVVING)
'It is people in E-types
coming together
to look at one another's cars
and celebrate the 60th anniversary of
undoubtedly one of, if not, the most,
beautiful cars ever built.
(ENGINE REVVING)
(TYRES SCREECH)
Sorry, are we interrupting your
picnic?
Hello.
Hello.
I haven't done much
of this sort of thing, really.
Where do you want them?
Oh, lord. Take my jacket off.
You sit and have a little picnic
and then people come and talk to us.
Right, team briefing.
(WHISPERS) A lot of people around.
They're already looking.
People will come and talk. People go
up and down and look at the different
cars and talk about them.
We're in a 1962 E-type, Series 1.
E-type?
Series 1.
Series 1.
1962 E-type...Series 1.
I forgot that, then.
What size engine is it?
Medium?
(GIGGLES)
3.6?
Eight.
3.8. 3.8.
Let me give you some of these.
So you get chatting.
Yeah, we're in the - Blue one.
The blue one. That'll do it.
There. Hand those out.
And then, if they're really special,
if you're really getting on well...
You're not gonna give someone a pen?
It's not Crackerjack.
That's merch, innit. That's what
people do. Merch. Yeah. OK.
Right. Can we eat your interesting
lunch now? Yes.
Ooh, my giddy aunt. Why have you
brought a whole thing of mayonnaise?
Well, everybody likes mayonnaise,
don't they?
Why have you brought
a whole thing of Parmesan?
Everyone likes cheese.
Nobody eats Parmesan like cheese.
I do. That's really weird.
Ham and cheese. Good.
Ham and mustard...
There's a surprise
in the ham and mustard ones.
Oh, no.
It's...
Pickled onion.
Did you do a salmon one?
Was the salmon in a tin?
No, it's smoked salmon, obviously!
Didn't find it.
Didn't look, though, did you?
Ham and cheese?
I don't like cheese.
I don't like pickled onions.
(LAUGHS)
Marmite. You're having Marmite.
Oh, yay! (LAUGHS)
Richard, please don't. No, no. No.
Ooh!
Oh, that is just wrong. Oh, no.
What?!
What's wrong with you?
I'm gonna ask some people
because that is wrong. It's not!
Yes, it is!
No-one eats Parmesan like that.
You do. No, you don't.
You shave it onto pasta.
No, you can eat it.
Please don't.
I'm gonna carry on eating my cheese
and drinking my special
alcohol-free Prosecco.
Cheers. Cheers. I'm gonna go
and drum up some business.
Hello. This is what everybody's after
right now, isn't it? A barn-find.
I'm sorry it's not running today.
You're not going up the hill.
The brakes don't work.
Are you going to do anything to it
or leave it patinated and genuine?
I think something
will need to be done.
What I'm worried about is rust.
We've set up a classic car
restoration business.
That's our number. Give us a call.
We can certainly help
with anything on this. Thank you.
Most welcome.
Well, I'm doing all the work, team.
I need to see you do more work.
I need you to go and talk
to some people. I got fired
from my sales job so...
I'm just gonna smile.
Maybe that's my job. Yeah. Ding!
Hello. Lovely car.
Oh, look, see. Straight,
not messing. Mindy's going in
for the kill.
Have you had it for long? And do you
come to the Hill Climb very often?
Mindy, you got the killer instinct.
See that? She just went shoo!
Straight in.
That one looks like
it needs some paint.
I did think that. Doesn't it.
Hello. How you doing? What you need
is... (CLEARS THROAT)
..The Smallest Cog.
Oh, my... Whoo!
Oh, that's a lot of green manifolds
going on. Wow.
We are offering services
restoring cars, so give us a call
if anything drops off.
My last hill climb attempt
ended with a fire
and a trip in an air ambulance,
so Mindy's gonna be doing the driving
today. (ENGINE REVS)
Whoo. Ooh. I have never driven...
God, the brakes are a bit spongy.
Yeah, they are really spongy. Oh,
well, thanks for telling me now (!)
They're really rubbish brakes.
Oh, my god! Sorry about that.
I don't know where we go.
Where do we go? Where do we go?
Do we go left?
Where do we go?
Maybe go there.
Go there?
What have you noticed?
Fuel.
Ooh! That's fuel.
It was over-fuelling
because the float stuck.
It's not as, erm...
fast-fuelled and exciting
as I imagined.
Well, it is fast-fuelled, but the
fuel's more running out of the car.
What happened?
The float is sticking in the
carburettor, so it's over-fuelling.
It's not the best thing to have
squirting around. Highly flammable.
Petrol is quite flammable, yes.
It's one of the features of it
that makes it so useful in cars.
Oh, it's the float.
Oh, yeah, that's why it's sinking.
The ethylene in the petrol eats into
it, it fills with fuel and sinks
and it doesn't work any more,
cos it doesn't float.
MAN ON TANNOY: 'Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
We need a float, please. Thank you.'
Oh, dear.
That's not embarrassing.
No, I'm not embarrassed.
MAN ON TANNOY: 'Can anyone rescue
Richard Hammond?
One of his floats has sunk.'
This isn't the best possible advert.
I may need to hide
the business cards.
Erm...Mindy, have you seen the
business cards?
Shall we just hide them?
Yeah.
Is that gonna do the job?
That will do the job.
(ENGINE REVS)
Well, there's no fuel
coming out of it now.
(QUIETLY) I think we got away
with that. Nobody noticed.
Erm...
Are we confident?
We're almost guaranteed
not to explode.
Pretty much. Do you wanna
come out with me again?
If this was a first date,
would you go for a second date?
No.
CAM: 'Do you think they got lost?'
Hang on, hang on.
Ooh.
It's very slow.
Yes, well, I don't know
where I'm going, Richard.
Go on, Mind! Whoo!
Not going for the record.
Not the fastest I've seen all day.
(LAUGHS)
There you are. She's pushing on now.
Go on, Mind.
(CLUTCH GRATES)
Ooh.
(CHORTLES)
(LAUGHS)
(CLUTCH GRATES)
Yeah, we got this deep rumbling
noise in this engine
Mac was complaining about.
On the test drive it sounds really
bottom endy, like the big end's
on the way out.
Not good.
Just have a look at the oil.
Oh, that's thin.
It is thin, innit?
Let's smell.
Ooh, smell that.
Petrol in there. Petrol.
Petrol.
There's more petrol than oil
in there.
It's had a carburettor conversion
and it doesn't look like
it's been set up properly
and we think the carburettor
is just over-fuelling,
the engine is not able
to burn all the fuel off,
so it's thinning the petrol,
it's going past the piston
into the oil, thinning the oil.
The oil is absolutely like water.
It's really so thin.
If we can get it to run where it's
burning the right amount of fuel,
then that should cure it.
It'll stop a catastrophe, cos it
would have exploded definitely.
He'll be driving it one day
and just bang!
Proper bang, end of the road, innit?
Breaking down at the E-type event
wasn't the great advertisement
that the business had hoped for.
The phone's not exactly
been ringing off the hook.
Time for a pep talk.
Where all these green bits go,
I've no idea.
Trouble is,
they shouldn't all be
on the board.
If you put them out here
you've got room
let the dog see the rabbit.
No, no, because...
Oh, it's the lad.
I haven't seen that one before,
have I?
Yeah, you have.
Have I?
Is this one of your...
Oh, it's a Triumph, isn't it?
1958 Triumph Trophy.
1958? Oh, yeah.
It's almost as old as I am.
It's good, innit?
You've seen it before.
I don't remember it, I must admit.
You weren't paying attention.
No. Do you want a cup of tea?
Yes, please. Hokey-doke.
Right, I need to talk to you about
my new exciting business venture.
You can help me in helping me
establish my credibility
in this area. OK.
And it matters that I have
some credence and credibility
as an engineer-type person.
Right. OK.
Let's discuss it over tea.
Piece of malt loaf?
Oh, yeah. The legendary malt loaf.
Grandad, your dad,
worked in the car industry.
He didn't start off in the car
industry.
He started off trained
as a cabinet maker,
which is why you had so many toys,
that he made, as a youngster.
But then World War II,
the bottom fell out
of the cabinet-making business,
and he went to work for the BSA,
building tanks, and then
he progressed from there
and went to Mulliners.
But that's the Mulliners
in Birmingham, isn't it?
Mulliners in Birmingham.
Cos there were the two.
The posh one in London
that did Bentleys and Rolls Royce,
and the Birmingham one...
Did the lower end of the market.
..not quite so flash.
But then from there
he went to Jensen
and he worked on the Interceptor.
And he ended up
being Senior Inspector,
which meant that he was the last one
to check out the car
before it was handed over
to the new owner.
And he did that until he retired,
which was...'72, 1972.
Have you got any photographs
of Grandad particularly
and any motor industry connected type
photographs? Or just with cars?
Right, now this is the one of you...
That's not necessary.
Nobody has to see that. There!
There.
Mother (!) What?
They're school...they're school
photos.
But look at me! That...
I know, you look a pillock.
What have you done to my hair?
You didn't pay for that? I did.
I know.
There's the car that Grandad made.
He recycled that.
He restored that one.
I remember building a bird table in
the shed. I was younger than that.
And we were making the joints
for the base of it,
like, crossing two pieces of wood,
and he said, "Ah, you ninny."
He probably would.
Ninny was his...that was...
Yeah. Oh, it was.
Because he could work anything -
wood, metal, leather -
and he could see
how it should be done,
but that made him a little impatient
to nine-year-old me. Exactly.
CHILD'S VOICE: "Do I do it
like this?"
"No, you ninny!" Oh, OK.
Right, here we go.
These are fabulous.
So I can totally claim, with this
classic car restoration business,
it's in my blood. I mean, I come
from... It's in your genes. Yeah.
What do YOU think about me setting
up this car restoration business?
I think it's very exciting.
To run a business, the business has
got to deal with something you know
about and care about and love.
And that's exactly the case
with what you're doing.
Does it feel a bit like
coming full circle?
Yes, very much so, to me.
Grandad would have been
immensely proud,
but he would have frustrated
the hell out of you
cos he'd be coming to tell you
how to do it.
"That's right, you ninny!"
You don't do it like that.
Yes, that's right, yes.
I do have a genuine motoring
heritage.
I just can't shake the feeling
that my grandad
wouldn't be too impressed with my
slice of the motor industry today.
Have we got any glass cleaner?
Do we have anything in sophistication
beyond a hammer and a rag?
Neil, are you using a dirty rag?
Because I get the impression
I'm following you around
and round and round.
I'm doing the bits you missed.
Hello, chaps.
How are you, Mac?
How are you, Mac? Ta-da! It works.
It never!
It does, it does.
Didn't it work when I bought it in?!
It works better.
Leak was the big thing.
It's a good thing you brought this
in when you did. Oh, here we go.
This car has had a conversion
to SU carburettor
and filled the engine oil up
with petrol.
Right. And that was also
why it was rumbling.
When you were driving,
it was rattling.
The tappity thing going on?
If you'd have kept going
it would have just blown up.
So now, not only does it run better
and you can see behind you in the
mirrors and it doesn't rattle,
it's also no longer a death trap.
It comes to £650.
I'm chuffed with that, boys.
Are you? Good.
Really.
Now stop at 650, but, yeah...
Yeah, OK, we'll stop.
So we will send you an invoice
for that... Really?
because that's ...yes, what you do.
Yeah. OK, right, then we will send
an invoice for that
and there it is, and we did a job.
Thank you, chaps. Thank you.
Well, nice to know
it'll still be on the road.
First paying customer. It's good
news. Financially, not massive news.
I mean, what, 650 quid.
I can't remember how much in parts
there was but a chunk of that's gone.
But it means we've reversed
the money flow briefly,
so there's money coming in
rather than just going out.
But I think it's not gonna be enough
for us to just sit here and hope,
like a spider in its web,
that work comes to us.
I'll have to work harder in getting
out and bringing that work in.
(HONKS HORN)
Bye-bye!
Ta-ta!
Actual satisfied customer.
Great. It's like the real thing.
One down.
Loads more to go.
Yep.
Unfortunately, after Mac, we haven't
got any more work booked in
and none on the horizon, either.
The phone did ring once.
It was Kamla, the company accountant,
to say she needed to come and see me.
So, Richard, the 50k that
you've loaned to the company,
that's almost wiped out.
But that's still in this workshop.
Yes, that's before we move.
Where's the 50 that I put in gone?
How much have we spent?
Overheads, salaries, rent,
insurance, et cetera.
We don't have funds coming in,
we only have your loan,
which isn't a profit,
that's just a loan to the company,
so we don't have any income.
We're just spending at the moment.
Right. We've also got the move
coming up. Increased rent,
increased insurance.
Need a little buffer for that. Well,
I say a little buffer. Quite a big
buffer. We've got moving costs.
So your ten-and-a-half a month,
that's the rent here.
When I move into the new workshop...
Those costs will increase.
..it's gonna be more than that.
Absolutely, yeah.
That stops being funny
quite quickly. Yeah.
We're gonna need a lot more money
than I thought.
I don't know if that was a reality
check or an intervention,
but it had to be said and,
yeah, all feels a bit serious now.
All feels like
this actually is a business.
Need to get some work.
I'm visiting one of the most
prestigeous classic car shows
of the year -
The London Concours -
where I'm hoping to meet
some future clients.
I've started a little restoration
operation with the guys who've done
all the restos on my cars.
Hello. So is this yours?
This one is mine, yeah.
B12 Alpina. Absolutely belting car,
by the way. Well done.
If anything drops off,
this is my restoration business.
I've got a couple of brilliant guys.
Absolute pleasure to talk to you.
Oh, you're a Lamborghini man.
Yeah.
Do love my Jags.
The classic car industry is worth
about 18 billion pounds a year.
And that's just in the UK.
This event is a magnet
for car restorers
who want a piece of the action.
Why has this example of your work
just caught everybody's imagination?
It has a presence, so that's
the first thing, the design.
Then it IS in the details.
We did things like...
We took all the chrome off. It's all
bright nickel, so a warmer feel.
It's absolutely beautiful.
I adore nickel.
Then we just have to make sure
everything works properly.
(BELL JINGLE)
It's gotta be right.
And it's gotta be right.
And, by the way, you can't charge
for all your hours.
You never charge for all your hours.
Really? Oh, god.
I was rather hoping
I might be able to.
My entire plan is based pretty
closely on being able to do that.
We lost a shed-load of money
for the first few years.
Is there one or two things
I can focus on that gives us a shot
at growing?
The answer above all
is the relationships you build
with the owners.
I recognise that if I wanted
to get a car from somebody
and I was a newcomer,
then they've probably been working
with other people.
Why would they switch
and come to us?
The answer is to be transparent,
honest, and do great work.
Do great work.
OK. So what do I have to do
to get one of these owners
to choose us in the first place?
Harry, you're now starting to have
award-winning cars
and all that sort of thing.
Yes.
So I want to take my little
company... How do I get people
to take me seriously,
so that we get to do
competition-winning cars?
I've got three cars
under restoration at the moment.
And what does he look for
in the guy who's doing it? Expertise.
Have they done it before? It's the
only way you can tell a quality
restoration, is by previous work.
The restoration companies
I have used on all three,
I've seen work they've done
and chosen it from there.
There's also a problem
I'm gonna suffer with,
which is people have loyalty
to those they use.
You're loyal to the guys
you do your restorations.
I want to see previous work,
so you show me you're really that
good at this restoration game,
I will see that and I'll see
if we want to do one of mine.
I learned today, I mean,
you need the right clients.
You need the right place to do it.
You need time to grow the business,
to prove that you CAN do it.
It's a long job.
I'm not the world's
most patient human being
but I'm gonna have to be patient
and stick with it here
cos this isn't gonna happen
overnight.
It's gonna take time, effort,
money, determination.
Talking to people at the show,
you know that feeling
when, like, everybody else belongs
and you don't, really,
and you think,
am I a bit of an impostor?
(OWL HOOTS)
'Yeah, I need quality work.
And the best way of attracting that
is gonna be to get into
our new workshop.
So today I'm hoping Hadrian
has good news on progress.'
And it won't be finished,
I know that,
but there's gonna be enough for me
to start planning and thinking
what's gonna be where.
And it's gonna be
the other side of this one.
It's...it's...
Ah.
Nothing's happened.
And I really thought
I'd see something.
H?
There's nothing.
Erm...
You've spotted it's not up. No.
No, we've got a bit of a stumbling
block, really. What?
Planning.
What's the problem?
I thought it was -
We've got planning
but we've got about that many
conditions.
What conditions?
Er...what light bulbs, erm...
energy value of the office seat.
Look, I mean, they're all
ridiculous things.
Do they want new business
in the area or not?
Well, they do, but they,
erm...they seem to want it
with bells and whistles.
But, mate, I really... I mean...
We need... Well, we need this.
We need a base.
Well, yeah. I mean, I need
to put it up. I mean, you know,
everything's lined up. I'm afraid
it's one of those stand up
and lie down moments.
Sorry.
It's gonna start getting
a bit...tricky
if I can't get in here soon.
How long's it gonna take to actually
build it once we've got permission?
Er...once we've got it, it should
be done within a couple of months.
Right.
I thought these buildings
were quick to go up.
That's quick in building terms.
I don't know what to say to you,
really, mate.
I've seen him look happier.
He's setting up a new business,
yeah?
And when it's your money,
it hurts a bit more.
So I can understand why he wants it,
and he wants it now.
I promised to Neil and Anthony,
we are going to have a proper big
place. It's gonna look great.
It's not here. And at the moment
they're gonna be thinking,
why are we doing this with this guy?
What's he bringing to the party?
this was supposed to be it.
I promised them a new workshop
and I haven't given them
any workshop yet.
What can I say? I can't have a go
at Hadrian about it.
One, it's not technically his fault,
and two, he's bigger than me.
But it does need to be sorted now.
Like now now.
The Smallest Cog
is gonna be exhibiting
at the London Classic Car Show.
They're coming in the next hour.
(GASPS)
This is absolutely terrifying.
(ENGINE FAILS TO START)
Begin! Ahhh!
I've had a lovely time in TV world.
I don't like it in the real world.
We could ruin the business
quite easily.
Subtitles by Deluxe
but I'm going to work...here.
Normally going to work means
passport, travel to airport,
fly somewhere, away for two weeks,
but I'm gonna go out of that door now
and I'll be home again this evening.
It's like a lot of people do, innit?
It's just this is a bit new,
it's very strange.
I've started a classic car
restoration business, for real.
I'm not doing a report on a car.
These will be customers' cars
that we're restoring for them.
So it's a totally new way of working
with something that's very familiar.
(DOG BARKS)
I'll see you this evening.
(DOG BARKS)
Give me a kiss.
(SMACKS LIPS) Good boy.
Mind?
Yeah?
Hello!
I'm going. You're actually going off
to work? I am going to work. Right.
And then I'll come back from work
today.
It's gonna be a culture shock.
Yeah, but I'm gonna do it.
Sure you know what you're doing?
I'm not listening to you now.
Goodbye. Bye-bye.
Wish me luck, please.
Luck.
Thank you.
(TYRES SCREECH)
'Cars have been my life.'
A little bit more!
'Talking about them.'
This is a force of nature.
'Smashing them.'
That's not what I wanted to see!
'And crashing them.'
'But now...'
Don't panic, I'm here.
'..I'm fulfilling my lifelong dream
and starting my own
classic car workshop...'
Should I get my overalls on?
'..restoring some of the finest
classic cars in the world...'
Heavenly automotive law.
'..with father and son team,
Neil and Anthony Greenhouse.'
Trusting him with our reputation.
Look away. Bodging in process.
Oh, you sonofa -
'I'll learn how to be
a businessman...'
What you need is...The Smallest Cog.
(REVS, BACKFIRING)
You've got my attention now.
'..and getting my hands dirty.'
I'm gonna swallow this screw
in a minute and die!
Can you do it quietly?
'It will test my bank balance...'
We can ruin the business
quite easily.
'..and my relationships...'
You'll enjoy it. Will I?
'..as I take my obsession
to a whole new level.'
It's the best game I've ever played
and the most terrifying.
I'm 51. I am suddenly thinking,
is it time...to stop
living out of a suitcase?
What started as an idea, now it's
suddenly becoming very, very real.
And people will know I'm doing this
in the car world
and they will be waiting -
I'm sorry - for me to fail.
And I don't blame them because
I've been waiting for them to fail.
That's how it works.
Actually, I've suddenly realised
it's gonna be really scary, isn't it?
What is it,
poacher turned gamekeeper.
Richard's come along
and offered this opportunity
where he's gonna
put some money up,
using our equipment, materials,
and most of all, experience,
and hopefully
we're gonna make it work.
For us, it's moving onto bigger
things, hopefully,
and Richard can bring that
with him as well. Yeah.
I turned up at this scruffy little
workshop, and out came Neil.
They repaired one of my cars.
And I did think, that is really good.
And then I took them another car
and then I thought,
no, that's actually really good.
I've always thought,
they're being wasted.
There's nothing wrong
with spending your career
repairing a Vauxhall Corsa that's
backed into a bollard in the
supermarket car park,
but they can do so much more.
So what I'm doing with this is trying
to move them up to the next league.
Dad's been here now 26 years.
My mum used to drop me off here
nearly every night after school,
so my love of cars, really,
is from my dad.
And that's all we ever did,
was cars, cars, cars.
The dream for me in this job has
always been to work on classic cars.
Things I've always dreamt
of working on.
Lamborghinis, Ferraris,
Bentleys, Rolls Royces.
I can't wait. Imagine what it'll be
like to have a proper building,
just set up right.
This garage isn't really efficient,
it's not really...
never been big enough.
Never had it, from the minute we
moved in. Yeah, really exciting,
innit? Really exciting.
I'm gonna go and see my mate,
Hadrian.
He's building a new unit that we're
gonna base our business in.
It's quite big.
I've seen the site.
I've seen where... I know the site
where it's gonna go.
Haven't seen how far he's got.
It's not gonna be finished
but I wanna start looking around it
and thinking what's going where.
Ah.
Well, I was hoping it might be
further than this.
H. I knew I was gonna have to use
a BIT of imagination but...?
Why is there nothing there?
Well, we had a...a little bit
of a run-in with the council.
But it's easy to picture
what it's gonna be like, innit?
It'll be amazing.
Where am I gonna be here?
The building's the same as that.
Yeah.
Here, there's a massive
roller shutter door, yeah?
Roller shutter door.
Then a personnel door/window
for, like, your reception,
so you can be posh.
Doors here.
This'll be, like, reception?
Yeah.
So it'll have, like, a desk?
Yep.
And then we've gotta get the ramps
in. I'm gonna have a lift.
I think the spray booth
is going right up there. Yeah.
Come in. Your Lamborghini, sir.
(LAUGHS)
Is this going?
No, this all gets lifted.
And your floor is about there.
Right.
That's your puddle.
Thank you.
The financial side of this, running
a business, that's new to me.
Don't spend what you haven't got
is the key motto.
Cos otherwise it'll just go downhill
so rapid.
Your biggest problem over there
is how many hours you're gonna have
to spend on a job to get it right.
That's the financial clock, that is.
It's not just the wages, it's the
rent, rates, electric, heating,
especially if someone
doesn't pay you on time.
You...you could end up in...
in a big mess.
It's all very grown-up, innit?
It is grown-up, yeah.
That's why so many people
work for other people.
Which is what I've done all my life.
Hmm.
Hope it works. Mindy'll kill me.
I think like many couples, if you've
got one of you who works away a lot
and suddenly they're not working
away a lot,
they then have to sort of integrate
into family life completely,
which has been interesting.
Let's put it interesting.
I'm probably just the worrier.
(LAUGHS)
I'm the one who worries.
That's my job, in a way. I worry.
But that's why I'm sort of keen
there is a proper business plan
and it's not gonna just
sort of choke and die later on,
cos that would be bad.
Very, very bad.
You can't let people down
and, you know,
when people are reliant on you
for their livelihood,
you know, that comes with
a lot of responsibility.
Bit of a worry.
This is not a good day
in my business world.
Not moving into that workshop, that's
more than just a disappointment.
Because my whole business plan
was based on going into
this bigger, brighter, better, newer
workshop, with better kit in it,
it looks better,
we can get more work in
and charge more for the work
that we do.
Nobody's gonna bring their
million-pound car to be restored
in Neil's little old workshop.
'Worse still, I've now got to tell
Neil and Anthony.'
Morning.
Morning. Morning.
Morning. How are we?
This thing's still here, then?
Work in progress, mate,
work in progress.
Erm...on the workshop,
it's not finished yet.
Not far off, though?
Is it built at all?
No.
But, once it gets going,
steel frame up, clad, done.
We'll be in there before we know it.
Meanwhile, can we live in here
a bit longer?
We've been here 26 years. Not gonna
matter a bit longer, is it?
It's all right.
It's the only place I've worked.
17 years. Well...
You've worked here...?
(ALL LAUGH)
No, he's been here...
(ALL LAUGH)
Yeah, we'll be in there before we
know it and we'll have all the space
in the world, I promise.
Talking of space, I do need,
like, a little office.
I should have one, really.
Executive office or a little office?
Well, you belong in here,
being all skilled and craftsperson,
I need, you know...
You can use the office out there.
Can I use your chair, your desk?
You can use, yeah, the chair,
and you can use my kettle as well.
I don't wanna use your kettle.
I'm not falling for that.
Two sugars in my tea, please.
No, no, I'm setting up my office.
(DOG BARKS) Oh, dog!
So the workshop isn't ready.
We can't move into it yet,
which means the business
can't really begin properly,
but I am committed,
so I've got to make the best
of our situation now
whilst we...hold our breath
ready to get into the workshop
and expand to the size we need to be
and get those big jobs in.
'At least we've still got
some of Neil's old regular
customers...'
(HONKS HORN) '..who's...well,
he's got one of these.'
Hello, boys.
Hello, you must be Mac.
It's a Bond Bug.
Why have you got one of these though?
It's not your everyday car, is it?
I'm not an everyday sort of bloke.
I wanted one when I was a kid.
Never got round to it. Here I am.
Everyone wanted one. They're just
epic. They're fabulous little things.
Designed by the guy who designed
the Raleigh Chopper. That's him.
And you can see it, can't you?
It just says 70s all over it.
What do the people of Ross
think of it? Yeah, they love it.
Kids especially love it, you know.
Last summer I took her
into Sainsbury's
and some little kid,
only about six or seven,
come out with his mum
and he was going, "Mum! Mum!
Look at that! Look at that!"
He said to me,
"How fast does it go?"
And I said,
"About 300 miles an hour."
And he went, "Dad! Dad!
It does 300 miles an hour!"
So what's up with it?
DEF Leak. Canopy rattles.
There's a tappity noise
coming from the engine.
Don't know if that's normal.
Right.
I notice there's a button
on the steering wheel
that says 'World Peace.'
That's broke, mate. I don't think
it's ever worked, to be honest.
OK, well, we'll set to
and get that done. Brilliant.
Go. And fix my world peace button.
Get in.
Oh.
Seatbelt. It's just a little bit
on the snug side.
I'm in.
You would be, wouldn't you?
It's...it's...it's not...it's not...
it's not happening, is it?
It's like you doing my tie up
for me.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Oh.
Hello. There.
(ENGINE STARTS)
It works.
It's like driving a big lump
of Red Leicester down the road.
Back in the 70s,
this is what they thought
the invasion was gonna be in,
and it's 2021 and we're still in
them. Yeah, we're still in them.
Right, what we learning, then?
There's a little bit
of tapping noise.
It sounds good on the gearbox.
There's no whining.
It's got that rattle there and
there's a bit of a rattle coming
down the bottom somehow.
Hear that rattling now?
(LOW RATTLING)
Yes.
Yes. And that's...
That is...that could be big end...
or could be... (LOW RATTLING)
Yeah, I can hear it.
(THUD)
Feel that suspension, eh?
(THUD)
What suspension (?)
Yeah, exactly.
Oooh...ahhh.
I'm glad we've got a first customer
in and glad it's the Bond Bug,
cos, well, they're unusual,
and yet it's just bits and pieces
here and there,
some of it cosmetic,
little bits of fixes and rattles.
The only slight worry
is what Neil was saying about
that big end-type knock.
That's from the bottom of the engine.
And if it is the big end, that's...
that'll be bad news for Mac.
There's an engine re-build.
Well, it's been rather
a sobering start
to my new classic car
restoration business.
We've got to clear 100 grand a year.
Yeah.
And that's just to stand still,
that's not to make profit.
That's just purely just to be there.
So let's, just for clarity's sake,
peg that at ten grand a month. Yeah.
After day one, suddenly, ten grand,
that's a lot of Bond Bugs.
A lot of Bond Bugs.
That's a lot of money.
You gotta start looking bigger cars.
But we don't want to turn away
the reasonably-priced cars.
No, we would need to do the small
jobs to keep the money coming in,
and do the big jobs to try and get
the bigger money coming in
to move on and progress.
The thing I can do for the business,
I will get out and try and bring you
those cars in. That's what we need.
I want to arrive at the workshop
with a job and you run out
and it's like,
"Oh, god, I've never even seen one
in the flesh,
always wanted to work on one"
and then get at it.
That's what we want.
I will try my hardest
to bring you those cars.
That would be good.
Final thing. We need a name.
Name? You thought of a name?
We need a name for this
whole operation. Yeah.
It's a bit like the saying, "Them
that know don't need to show."
But you need to put that
into a name.
Got a suggestion.
Yep? What about...that?
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
The Smallest Cog.
The what?
The Smallest Cog.
You speak for yourself (!)
Like the smallest...
We will go right down to the last
minutae, the smallest cog.
It's quite...it's sort of catchy
but...
It's...
Thing is, I've had 150
of these things made.
(LAUGHS)
Oh ...how many?
There's one each.
Oh. Thank you very much.
And I've got one, you see.
Thank you.
Mechanical, old school,
attention to detail,
right down to the smallest cog.
I sense a slight reticence.
Just run with it for a bit. If we
change our mind, we change our mind.
To The Smallest Cog. Cheers.
BOTH: To The Smallest Cog.
It's gonna be huge. You watch.
Hopefully. Fingers crossed.
If we're ever gonna make a success
of this business,
I've got to start bringing in
some high-end cars.
And I've had a brainwave about how
I might just be able to do it.
What you doing in that?
There's a reason for this.
Apart from it's just nice to drive.
There is a 60th anniversary
of the E-type gathering of classics
at Prescott Hill Climb,
so I'm taking this.
I'm gonna go to the show
and just tell people
about how wonderful we are.
So I've brought it in today
cos since you did it, I've used it.
So you haven't looked after it
since you had it back.
I have looked after it.
I spent hours under there. I'm not
gonna, every time I drive it...
What's the show? It's the 60th
anniversary E-type owners...
You want me to detail it? I want it
to be like it was when you did it.
It's a beautiful-looking car.
It is.
And it's your work, your work,
so well done.
Get it back to how it was
when you first presented it to me.
So you're using this as an advert.
Yeah.
Give her a quick rinse off.
Ah, cheers, mate. Thanks.
I'm sorry. I didn't see you.
No, there's no problem.
It was an accident. I'm old,
I'm allowed to make mistakes.
Yeah, normally at night-time
you have your water accidents.
(LAUGHS)
This is exactly the sort of thing
I should be doing.
I need to get our name out there.
It's really important
that people see our work.
Not just to get people to trust us,
but I need them also to get past the,
"Wait a minute, it's that little
fella off the car show. I know him."
Yes, I know, but forget about that
for now.
Our business is our business. The
Smallest Cog is about quality work
that Neil and Anthony do,
because they're craftsmen.
It's nice when you can just stand
back and look at that car
and just think, well...
we actually painted that.
Total respray, wasn't it?
Total respray inside and out.
To still look this good
after all the years we've done it.
If I look that good when I'm sixty,
I won't be complaining.
Well, you ain't got far, have you?
(CHUCKLES)
(BEE BUZZES)
'This Jaguar meet
is a social event as well,
so getting the family along
could be the clincher.
Thing is, though, getting them
to swap hooves for tyres
is a bit of a hard sell.'
(HORSE NICKERS)
We'll be, like, you know,
there with one of the cars
and we'll be part of it.
I've already said I'll come... OK.
..if I have no prior engagements.
Right.
Well, you might actually enjoy it.
There might be bits you think,
hey, that's really cool.
I've not seen that. Mm-hm.
There might even be shops.
You can buy stuff.
I'll get back to you
in three to five working days.
It's gonna go well. She's gonna...
I can just see there's a glimmer
of something there.
It's piqued her interest.
I think she'll come.
Just gotta try the other two now.
Willow, the younger daughter,
has already bailed,
but Izzy, hopefully, is coming
with her boyfriend, Cam.
Mrs Hammond also will be joining.
She's quite weary this morning.
We had a very late night.
But we're fresh as a daisy today.
Well, the car is ready.
Right, the making of the picnic.
I can do this.
Did you want me to tell
you what to put in - No. OK.
I'm just gonna do my own thing.
OK.
It's my day. I'm asking you
to do it for me as a favour,
so I will prepare the picnic.
Please tell me you're not making
any egg sandwiches.
Please tell me you're not.
No.
You got any gherkins? At the top,
top, I'd say top, back of the...
This is so far out
of your comfort zone.
What about pickled onions?
(RATTLING OF TINS AND JARS)
Not many people slice a pickled
onion and put it in a sandwich,
can I just -
Am I making this picnic or are you?
Erm...
Aw, that'll be really nice.
(CHUCKLES)
Ohhh.
I'm gonna take this
and put it in the car
and then we'll be ready to go.
(THUNDER)
Oh.
Oh, bloody hell.
(ENGINE STARTS)
'It'll be a big classic car day,
loads of E-types there,
and just classic car fans generally,
and I need to get our name out there.
(ENGINES REVVING)
'It is people in E-types
coming together
to look at one another's cars
and celebrate the 60th anniversary of
undoubtedly one of, if not, the most,
beautiful cars ever built.
(ENGINE REVVING)
(TYRES SCREECH)
Sorry, are we interrupting your
picnic?
Hello.
Hello.
I haven't done much
of this sort of thing, really.
Where do you want them?
Oh, lord. Take my jacket off.
You sit and have a little picnic
and then people come and talk to us.
Right, team briefing.
(WHISPERS) A lot of people around.
They're already looking.
People will come and talk. People go
up and down and look at the different
cars and talk about them.
We're in a 1962 E-type, Series 1.
E-type?
Series 1.
Series 1.
1962 E-type...Series 1.
I forgot that, then.
What size engine is it?
Medium?
(GIGGLES)
3.6?
Eight.
3.8. 3.8.
Let me give you some of these.
So you get chatting.
Yeah, we're in the - Blue one.
The blue one. That'll do it.
There. Hand those out.
And then, if they're really special,
if you're really getting on well...
You're not gonna give someone a pen?
It's not Crackerjack.
That's merch, innit. That's what
people do. Merch. Yeah. OK.
Right. Can we eat your interesting
lunch now? Yes.
Ooh, my giddy aunt. Why have you
brought a whole thing of mayonnaise?
Well, everybody likes mayonnaise,
don't they?
Why have you brought
a whole thing of Parmesan?
Everyone likes cheese.
Nobody eats Parmesan like cheese.
I do. That's really weird.
Ham and cheese. Good.
Ham and mustard...
There's a surprise
in the ham and mustard ones.
Oh, no.
It's...
Pickled onion.
Did you do a salmon one?
Was the salmon in a tin?
No, it's smoked salmon, obviously!
Didn't find it.
Didn't look, though, did you?
Ham and cheese?
I don't like cheese.
I don't like pickled onions.
(LAUGHS)
Marmite. You're having Marmite.
Oh, yay! (LAUGHS)
Richard, please don't. No, no. No.
Ooh!
Oh, that is just wrong. Oh, no.
What?!
What's wrong with you?
I'm gonna ask some people
because that is wrong. It's not!
Yes, it is!
No-one eats Parmesan like that.
You do. No, you don't.
You shave it onto pasta.
No, you can eat it.
Please don't.
I'm gonna carry on eating my cheese
and drinking my special
alcohol-free Prosecco.
Cheers. Cheers. I'm gonna go
and drum up some business.
Hello. This is what everybody's after
right now, isn't it? A barn-find.
I'm sorry it's not running today.
You're not going up the hill.
The brakes don't work.
Are you going to do anything to it
or leave it patinated and genuine?
I think something
will need to be done.
What I'm worried about is rust.
We've set up a classic car
restoration business.
That's our number. Give us a call.
We can certainly help
with anything on this. Thank you.
Most welcome.
Well, I'm doing all the work, team.
I need to see you do more work.
I need you to go and talk
to some people. I got fired
from my sales job so...
I'm just gonna smile.
Maybe that's my job. Yeah. Ding!
Hello. Lovely car.
Oh, look, see. Straight,
not messing. Mindy's going in
for the kill.
Have you had it for long? And do you
come to the Hill Climb very often?
Mindy, you got the killer instinct.
See that? She just went shoo!
Straight in.
That one looks like
it needs some paint.
I did think that. Doesn't it.
Hello. How you doing? What you need
is... (CLEARS THROAT)
..The Smallest Cog.
Oh, my... Whoo!
Oh, that's a lot of green manifolds
going on. Wow.
We are offering services
restoring cars, so give us a call
if anything drops off.
My last hill climb attempt
ended with a fire
and a trip in an air ambulance,
so Mindy's gonna be doing the driving
today. (ENGINE REVS)
Whoo. Ooh. I have never driven...
God, the brakes are a bit spongy.
Yeah, they are really spongy. Oh,
well, thanks for telling me now (!)
They're really rubbish brakes.
Oh, my god! Sorry about that.
I don't know where we go.
Where do we go? Where do we go?
Do we go left?
Where do we go?
Maybe go there.
Go there?
What have you noticed?
Fuel.
Ooh! That's fuel.
It was over-fuelling
because the float stuck.
It's not as, erm...
fast-fuelled and exciting
as I imagined.
Well, it is fast-fuelled, but the
fuel's more running out of the car.
What happened?
The float is sticking in the
carburettor, so it's over-fuelling.
It's not the best thing to have
squirting around. Highly flammable.
Petrol is quite flammable, yes.
It's one of the features of it
that makes it so useful in cars.
Oh, it's the float.
Oh, yeah, that's why it's sinking.
The ethylene in the petrol eats into
it, it fills with fuel and sinks
and it doesn't work any more,
cos it doesn't float.
MAN ON TANNOY: 'Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
We need a float, please. Thank you.'
Oh, dear.
That's not embarrassing.
No, I'm not embarrassed.
MAN ON TANNOY: 'Can anyone rescue
Richard Hammond?
One of his floats has sunk.'
This isn't the best possible advert.
I may need to hide
the business cards.
Erm...Mindy, have you seen the
business cards?
Shall we just hide them?
Yeah.
Is that gonna do the job?
That will do the job.
(ENGINE REVS)
Well, there's no fuel
coming out of it now.
(QUIETLY) I think we got away
with that. Nobody noticed.
Erm...
Are we confident?
We're almost guaranteed
not to explode.
Pretty much. Do you wanna
come out with me again?
If this was a first date,
would you go for a second date?
No.
CAM: 'Do you think they got lost?'
Hang on, hang on.
Ooh.
It's very slow.
Yes, well, I don't know
where I'm going, Richard.
Go on, Mind! Whoo!
Not going for the record.
Not the fastest I've seen all day.
(LAUGHS)
There you are. She's pushing on now.
Go on, Mind.
(CLUTCH GRATES)
Ooh.
(CHORTLES)
(LAUGHS)
(CLUTCH GRATES)
Yeah, we got this deep rumbling
noise in this engine
Mac was complaining about.
On the test drive it sounds really
bottom endy, like the big end's
on the way out.
Not good.
Just have a look at the oil.
Oh, that's thin.
It is thin, innit?
Let's smell.
Ooh, smell that.
Petrol in there. Petrol.
Petrol.
There's more petrol than oil
in there.
It's had a carburettor conversion
and it doesn't look like
it's been set up properly
and we think the carburettor
is just over-fuelling,
the engine is not able
to burn all the fuel off,
so it's thinning the petrol,
it's going past the piston
into the oil, thinning the oil.
The oil is absolutely like water.
It's really so thin.
If we can get it to run where it's
burning the right amount of fuel,
then that should cure it.
It'll stop a catastrophe, cos it
would have exploded definitely.
He'll be driving it one day
and just bang!
Proper bang, end of the road, innit?
Breaking down at the E-type event
wasn't the great advertisement
that the business had hoped for.
The phone's not exactly
been ringing off the hook.
Time for a pep talk.
Where all these green bits go,
I've no idea.
Trouble is,
they shouldn't all be
on the board.
If you put them out here
you've got room
let the dog see the rabbit.
No, no, because...
Oh, it's the lad.
I haven't seen that one before,
have I?
Yeah, you have.
Have I?
Is this one of your...
Oh, it's a Triumph, isn't it?
1958 Triumph Trophy.
1958? Oh, yeah.
It's almost as old as I am.
It's good, innit?
You've seen it before.
I don't remember it, I must admit.
You weren't paying attention.
No. Do you want a cup of tea?
Yes, please. Hokey-doke.
Right, I need to talk to you about
my new exciting business venture.
You can help me in helping me
establish my credibility
in this area. OK.
And it matters that I have
some credence and credibility
as an engineer-type person.
Right. OK.
Let's discuss it over tea.
Piece of malt loaf?
Oh, yeah. The legendary malt loaf.
Grandad, your dad,
worked in the car industry.
He didn't start off in the car
industry.
He started off trained
as a cabinet maker,
which is why you had so many toys,
that he made, as a youngster.
But then World War II,
the bottom fell out
of the cabinet-making business,
and he went to work for the BSA,
building tanks, and then
he progressed from there
and went to Mulliners.
But that's the Mulliners
in Birmingham, isn't it?
Mulliners in Birmingham.
Cos there were the two.
The posh one in London
that did Bentleys and Rolls Royce,
and the Birmingham one...
Did the lower end of the market.
..not quite so flash.
But then from there
he went to Jensen
and he worked on the Interceptor.
And he ended up
being Senior Inspector,
which meant that he was the last one
to check out the car
before it was handed over
to the new owner.
And he did that until he retired,
which was...'72, 1972.
Have you got any photographs
of Grandad particularly
and any motor industry connected type
photographs? Or just with cars?
Right, now this is the one of you...
That's not necessary.
Nobody has to see that. There!
There.
Mother (!) What?
They're school...they're school
photos.
But look at me! That...
I know, you look a pillock.
What have you done to my hair?
You didn't pay for that? I did.
I know.
There's the car that Grandad made.
He recycled that.
He restored that one.
I remember building a bird table in
the shed. I was younger than that.
And we were making the joints
for the base of it,
like, crossing two pieces of wood,
and he said, "Ah, you ninny."
He probably would.
Ninny was his...that was...
Yeah. Oh, it was.
Because he could work anything -
wood, metal, leather -
and he could see
how it should be done,
but that made him a little impatient
to nine-year-old me. Exactly.
CHILD'S VOICE: "Do I do it
like this?"
"No, you ninny!" Oh, OK.
Right, here we go.
These are fabulous.
So I can totally claim, with this
classic car restoration business,
it's in my blood. I mean, I come
from... It's in your genes. Yeah.
What do YOU think about me setting
up this car restoration business?
I think it's very exciting.
To run a business, the business has
got to deal with something you know
about and care about and love.
And that's exactly the case
with what you're doing.
Does it feel a bit like
coming full circle?
Yes, very much so, to me.
Grandad would have been
immensely proud,
but he would have frustrated
the hell out of you
cos he'd be coming to tell you
how to do it.
"That's right, you ninny!"
You don't do it like that.
Yes, that's right, yes.
I do have a genuine motoring
heritage.
I just can't shake the feeling
that my grandad
wouldn't be too impressed with my
slice of the motor industry today.
Have we got any glass cleaner?
Do we have anything in sophistication
beyond a hammer and a rag?
Neil, are you using a dirty rag?
Because I get the impression
I'm following you around
and round and round.
I'm doing the bits you missed.
Hello, chaps.
How are you, Mac?
How are you, Mac? Ta-da! It works.
It never!
It does, it does.
Didn't it work when I bought it in?!
It works better.
Leak was the big thing.
It's a good thing you brought this
in when you did. Oh, here we go.
This car has had a conversion
to SU carburettor
and filled the engine oil up
with petrol.
Right. And that was also
why it was rumbling.
When you were driving,
it was rattling.
The tappity thing going on?
If you'd have kept going
it would have just blown up.
So now, not only does it run better
and you can see behind you in the
mirrors and it doesn't rattle,
it's also no longer a death trap.
It comes to £650.
I'm chuffed with that, boys.
Are you? Good.
Really.
Now stop at 650, but, yeah...
Yeah, OK, we'll stop.
So we will send you an invoice
for that... Really?
because that's ...yes, what you do.
Yeah. OK, right, then we will send
an invoice for that
and there it is, and we did a job.
Thank you, chaps. Thank you.
Well, nice to know
it'll still be on the road.
First paying customer. It's good
news. Financially, not massive news.
I mean, what, 650 quid.
I can't remember how much in parts
there was but a chunk of that's gone.
But it means we've reversed
the money flow briefly,
so there's money coming in
rather than just going out.
But I think it's not gonna be enough
for us to just sit here and hope,
like a spider in its web,
that work comes to us.
I'll have to work harder in getting
out and bringing that work in.
(HONKS HORN)
Bye-bye!
Ta-ta!
Actual satisfied customer.
Great. It's like the real thing.
One down.
Loads more to go.
Yep.
Unfortunately, after Mac, we haven't
got any more work booked in
and none on the horizon, either.
The phone did ring once.
It was Kamla, the company accountant,
to say she needed to come and see me.
So, Richard, the 50k that
you've loaned to the company,
that's almost wiped out.
But that's still in this workshop.
Yes, that's before we move.
Where's the 50 that I put in gone?
How much have we spent?
Overheads, salaries, rent,
insurance, et cetera.
We don't have funds coming in,
we only have your loan,
which isn't a profit,
that's just a loan to the company,
so we don't have any income.
We're just spending at the moment.
Right. We've also got the move
coming up. Increased rent,
increased insurance.
Need a little buffer for that. Well,
I say a little buffer. Quite a big
buffer. We've got moving costs.
So your ten-and-a-half a month,
that's the rent here.
When I move into the new workshop...
Those costs will increase.
..it's gonna be more than that.
Absolutely, yeah.
That stops being funny
quite quickly. Yeah.
We're gonna need a lot more money
than I thought.
I don't know if that was a reality
check or an intervention,
but it had to be said and,
yeah, all feels a bit serious now.
All feels like
this actually is a business.
Need to get some work.
I'm visiting one of the most
prestigeous classic car shows
of the year -
The London Concours -
where I'm hoping to meet
some future clients.
I've started a little restoration
operation with the guys who've done
all the restos on my cars.
Hello. So is this yours?
This one is mine, yeah.
B12 Alpina. Absolutely belting car,
by the way. Well done.
If anything drops off,
this is my restoration business.
I've got a couple of brilliant guys.
Absolute pleasure to talk to you.
Oh, you're a Lamborghini man.
Yeah.
Do love my Jags.
The classic car industry is worth
about 18 billion pounds a year.
And that's just in the UK.
This event is a magnet
for car restorers
who want a piece of the action.
Why has this example of your work
just caught everybody's imagination?
It has a presence, so that's
the first thing, the design.
Then it IS in the details.
We did things like...
We took all the chrome off. It's all
bright nickel, so a warmer feel.
It's absolutely beautiful.
I adore nickel.
Then we just have to make sure
everything works properly.
(BELL JINGLE)
It's gotta be right.
And it's gotta be right.
And, by the way, you can't charge
for all your hours.
You never charge for all your hours.
Really? Oh, god.
I was rather hoping
I might be able to.
My entire plan is based pretty
closely on being able to do that.
We lost a shed-load of money
for the first few years.
Is there one or two things
I can focus on that gives us a shot
at growing?
The answer above all
is the relationships you build
with the owners.
I recognise that if I wanted
to get a car from somebody
and I was a newcomer,
then they've probably been working
with other people.
Why would they switch
and come to us?
The answer is to be transparent,
honest, and do great work.
Do great work.
OK. So what do I have to do
to get one of these owners
to choose us in the first place?
Harry, you're now starting to have
award-winning cars
and all that sort of thing.
Yes.
So I want to take my little
company... How do I get people
to take me seriously,
so that we get to do
competition-winning cars?
I've got three cars
under restoration at the moment.
And what does he look for
in the guy who's doing it? Expertise.
Have they done it before? It's the
only way you can tell a quality
restoration, is by previous work.
The restoration companies
I have used on all three,
I've seen work they've done
and chosen it from there.
There's also a problem
I'm gonna suffer with,
which is people have loyalty
to those they use.
You're loyal to the guys
you do your restorations.
I want to see previous work,
so you show me you're really that
good at this restoration game,
I will see that and I'll see
if we want to do one of mine.
I learned today, I mean,
you need the right clients.
You need the right place to do it.
You need time to grow the business,
to prove that you CAN do it.
It's a long job.
I'm not the world's
most patient human being
but I'm gonna have to be patient
and stick with it here
cos this isn't gonna happen
overnight.
It's gonna take time, effort,
money, determination.
Talking to people at the show,
you know that feeling
when, like, everybody else belongs
and you don't, really,
and you think,
am I a bit of an impostor?
(OWL HOOTS)
'Yeah, I need quality work.
And the best way of attracting that
is gonna be to get into
our new workshop.
So today I'm hoping Hadrian
has good news on progress.'
And it won't be finished,
I know that,
but there's gonna be enough for me
to start planning and thinking
what's gonna be where.
And it's gonna be
the other side of this one.
It's...it's...
Ah.
Nothing's happened.
And I really thought
I'd see something.
H?
There's nothing.
Erm...
You've spotted it's not up. No.
No, we've got a bit of a stumbling
block, really. What?
Planning.
What's the problem?
I thought it was -
We've got planning
but we've got about that many
conditions.
What conditions?
Er...what light bulbs, erm...
energy value of the office seat.
Look, I mean, they're all
ridiculous things.
Do they want new business
in the area or not?
Well, they do, but they,
erm...they seem to want it
with bells and whistles.
But, mate, I really... I mean...
We need... Well, we need this.
We need a base.
Well, yeah. I mean, I need
to put it up. I mean, you know,
everything's lined up. I'm afraid
it's one of those stand up
and lie down moments.
Sorry.
It's gonna start getting
a bit...tricky
if I can't get in here soon.
How long's it gonna take to actually
build it once we've got permission?
Er...once we've got it, it should
be done within a couple of months.
Right.
I thought these buildings
were quick to go up.
That's quick in building terms.
I don't know what to say to you,
really, mate.
I've seen him look happier.
He's setting up a new business,
yeah?
And when it's your money,
it hurts a bit more.
So I can understand why he wants it,
and he wants it now.
I promised to Neil and Anthony,
we are going to have a proper big
place. It's gonna look great.
It's not here. And at the moment
they're gonna be thinking,
why are we doing this with this guy?
What's he bringing to the party?
this was supposed to be it.
I promised them a new workshop
and I haven't given them
any workshop yet.
What can I say? I can't have a go
at Hadrian about it.
One, it's not technically his fault,
and two, he's bigger than me.
But it does need to be sorted now.
Like now now.
The Smallest Cog
is gonna be exhibiting
at the London Classic Car Show.
They're coming in the next hour.
(GASPS)
This is absolutely terrifying.
(ENGINE FAILS TO START)
Begin! Ahhh!
I've had a lovely time in TV world.
I don't like it in the real world.
We could ruin the business
quite easily.
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