Resident Alien (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 4 - Radio Harry - full transcript
Is Harry building another bomb? Asta is going to find out as they go camping on the reservation.
- Previously
on "resident alien"...
- Break me out of here,
but you have to do it quick.
- What do you mean?
- Your people will send
someone else
to kill everyone for you.
- Including asta?
- You're an alien.
You know, phone home.
Call them
and tell them not to come.
- I will try to build a radio
to contact my people.
Mm.
Yes!
- Time for you two
to get to colorado
to find me whatever
was flying that machine.
- Max, who is that?
Why is he wearing a white coat?
- Are you the town doctor?
- Yes, I am.
- I remember everything,
even though
I'm not supposed to.
Most people don't.
There were others in the ship,
you know, who were taken?
Like
an intergalactic orphanage.
- Growing up that way
probably felt very alienating.
- Showed me my mom and dad
a few times.
Been searching for them
ever since the aliens
dumped me back here
five years ago.
- Then I can imagine
the complicated feelings
you have for them.
All that time,
all those missed opportunities.
- It's the missing things,
right, doc?
The missing things
are what help you heal.
Attachments, like you said.
Feel like I'm a single thread
from blowing away
in the wind altogether.
- Unfortunately,
we're out of time this week.
- Same time next week?
- Mm.
[soft dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[tires screech]
[brown bird's
"fingers to the bone"]
[driving bluegrass music]
- ♪ I work my fingers
to the bone ♪
♪ not a pretty little penny
have I got to show ♪
♪ I ain't looking for much
just a little bit of rest ♪
♪ by the side of the road ♪
♪ I lift my voice
to the forces above ♪
♪ the lords of labor
and the goddess of love ♪
♪ ain't I been a good,
hard-working ♪
♪ faithful servant and son?
♪ ♪
- what do you think
about the new one?
- I'm not sure yet...
[robert inaudible]
but I'll find out.
I'll find the truth
about all of them.
[brown bird's "bilgewater"]
[laidback acoustic strumming]
♪ ♪
- children, a pestilence.
They are not so much born,
but replicate like a virus,
continuing humanity's path
toward destruction.
Plus, it is illegal
to make them work,
so they are just gum stuck
to the bottom of your shoe.
- Listen up, skin bags.
I have built a radio
to tell my people
not to come and kill everyone,
including you.
That was difficult.
I am now the savior
of the human race,
so you can give me
my alien ball back.
- I would, but I gave your ball
to my dad.
He uses it to golf.
- You cannot golf
with that ball.
- Maybe you can't
because you're a bad golfer,
but he got a hole in one,
and in that hole was bird poop.
So now your silver alien ball
is covered in bird poop.
- I changed my mind.
I am going to tell my people
to save everyone but you,
and when you are dead,
I'm going to freeze you
and make snow cones
out of your gross, dead ice
and add the worst
snow cone flavor to it--papaya.
- That's dark.
- You know
what I'm gonna do to you?
- What could you do to me?
- [inaudible]
- you are a monster.
You will bring me
my alien ball.
You sick, broken child.
- That's cool.
He's building a radio
to save us.
- Are you a goldfish?
It's not a radio.
It's a bomb.
[bat clacks]
[cheers and applause]
- humans live to consume,
and their appetites
are endless.
They drop garbage
on the ground
wherever they go.
Earth is like a house
they've lit on fire
but continue to live in,
and they use
the earth's resources
to make ugly things
like teal crocs
and truck ducks.
- You rock, d'arcy!
[cheers and applause]
- d'arcy!
- D'arcy!
- All right, d'arcy!
Let's go, patience!
- Whoo!
- He seems like a nice guy.
She looks happy.
- I am not engaging.
Keeping my distance,
and you don't have to comment.
It's called boundaries.
- [chuckles]
- could you hypothetically
do a background check?
Wait, nope. Say nothing.
- All right, patience!
Let's hold 'em to zero runs.
That's right, zero runs
on the board for jessup.
Three for patience.
Thus patience--
better than jessup.
- Hey, there.
Didn't recognize you
not flat on your back.
- That's nice hair, bloom.
Next time, I'll show you
how to do a real braid.
- Just let me know if you
want me to have the pitcher
slow it down for you
so you can get a hit.
- I'll take it as slow
or as fast as you want to go.
[crowd yelling]
- second base, second base!
- Second! Second!
- Got him.
- No way.
- You're out.
- Yeah!
- Way to go d'arcy!
- ♪ take it to the bank ♪
♪ all the way, gang ♪
- fast enough for you?
- [chuckles]
- nice job, d'arcy!
[plucky electronic music]
- I'll be right back.
- [whispers]
sit in front of us.
The fate of everyone on earth
is at stake.
- She thinks
harry's building a bomb.
- He's not. It's a radio.
- When somebody
shows you who they are,
believe them the first time.
- That's pretty deep
for someone your age.
- It's maya angelou.
Dr. Maya angelou.
An actual doctor,
unlike the alien
who pretended to be one.
What else does
he pretend to do?
[crowd yelling]
[clack]
- oh!
- Foul ball.
- Ha!
Ha ha ha.
- Harry.
- What are you looking at?
Get your own ball.
- Harry.
- Mine.
I just caught it.
- Harry.
Here you go.
- Thanks.
- Good job, kid.
- I want that back.
- What are you doing?
- Watching the game.
When these
hammy humans are finished,
I'm going to pick
the celestial flowers
that grew from the water
of my spaceship.
It is for my radio.
- What do flowers
have to do with your radio?
- Plants have the most
complex biochemistry
of anything in nature,
yet humans give them to say,
"I love you.
Here are some flowers.
You are dead."
- I want to see this radio.
[clack]
[applause]
- why is she looking at me
like that?
Do I have a booger
on the edge of my nose?
Is it on my face?
- You know, I've always really
been interested in radios.
- Mm-hmm.
- Like, how do they work?
You know, like this one,
for instance.
Like, how does it actually send
a signal across the universe
all the way to your planet?
- In two days,
at exactly 11:06 a.M.,
the earth's axial tilt
will be in line
with the mars transit station.
- Transit station on mars?
That's weird.
We didn't know
anything about that.
- Ha ha ha!
Humans don't know anything
about anything.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's funny because it's true.
So this fissure of tellurium
will boost the radio signal,
bouncing the message
off of the radio transmitter
which humans
have named oumuamua.
- Huh.
- And it will send
the message to my people.
- All the way to your planet.
- Off the radio transmitter.
Anyway,
it will send them the message,
and they will not come
and kill everyone.
I have to do it
at that exact time.
- Why that exact time?
- Because the...
[sniffs]
the conditions will be ideal,
and they will not be ideal
again for an entire year,
and then it will be too late.
Why are you squinting at me?
Why are you asking
so many questions?
Do I have a booger on my face?
Point at the booger.
- Mm, I think you're lying
about what this is.
- Painful.
- Your last radio ended up
being a human death bomb,
and you lied that whole time.
- Well, you just lied to me
just now
about being interested
in radios.
I knew you were lying.
You're not a good actress.
You could not play
a beach corpse
on "law and order."
- excuse me.
You know,
this "tellurium fissure,"
it goes right through
the reservation,
so I think that's maybe where
we're gonna go to set it up.
- We?
- Yes, we.
My dad and I are coming
just to make sure
you're not lying.
- Still painful.
[upbeat music]
[chatter, laughter]
- good to see you.
- I like being
on the reservation.
It feels comfortable.
There is a warmth to it.
They must like it too,
since they're always together.
- Hey, harry.
Let's get you some food.
- Yes.
- [giggles]
- big leroy.
- Yep.
- Get harry a plate, yeah?
- Yeah, for sure.
Oh, oh, hey, hey.
- And how's little leroy?
- Hopefully almost here.
Starting to kick
like a little fancy dancer.
- Oh.
[laughter]
are you outdoorsy, harry?
- Yes.
My people prefer it outdoors.
- Oh, who are your people?
- The dutch.
- All right, here you go.
Enjoy.
- Thank you.
- You're that harry weirdo
who came with dan and asta.
- And you're that weirdo
who talks to weirdos.
Weirdo.
- [chuckles]
I'm drew.
It's all kind of my fault.
You know, it's like
every time I leave the city
and come back to the rez,
they gotta invite
everybody over.
Exhausting.
- I'm exhausted
just listening to you.
- I don't know.
Ever feel like you
belong someplace else?
- Yes.
[solemn music]
♪ ♪
- hey, deputy,
I had to drop some shirts off
at the dry cleaners,
so they gave me
your dress here to give to you.
- I don't have
any dry cleaning.
Wait, I've been looking
all over for that dress.
Did you take it in for me?
I would have remembered.
- No, I don't make a habit
of walking around
with women's clothing.
Although, I do like dresses
with pockets.
It makes the handbag optional.
Of course,
you could always just throw
a couple bandolier belts
over your shoulders
and tuck little tampons
in each little bullet slot.
- Sir, how many tampons
do you think I need?
- Shit, as many
as you can carry.
Tampons
are extremely versatile.
You can use them
for gunshot wounds,
for a sweaty brow.
- Oh.
- They actually
should market 'em to men
and call 'em manpons.
I'd buy them.
- That's quite
the ted talk, sir.
Um, judy cooper
is here to see you.
- Oh, shit.
- I think she thinks
you're dating
because you danced with her.
- I ain't danced with her.
She danced on me.
- Hi, judy.
- I brought you a cake.
It's store-bought.
- Okay.
- Yep.
Well, so do you wanna put
your number in my phone or...
- Uh-uh.
No, no, no, no, no.
- Ah, this guy's old-school.
Mm-hmm.
I like that.
- Yeah.
- So I'll just give you
my number.
[light music]
♪ ♪
use it or lose it.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Okay.
It's right on your hand.
All right.
- You got it.
- Okay.
- Bye, judy.
- Bye, judy.
O-kay.
There she is in the window.
- Oh, just in case
we missed it.
- Oh, look at that.
She--she waving there.
- She's...[laughing].
- Is she gone?
- It might be fun.
- Oh, hell no.
Are you crazy?
- Come on.
All you do is work
and take care of your dad.
Like, when was the last time
you went on a date?
- I've got people I can call.
- That was a very long lunch.
How do humans talk for hours
about different ways
to cook their meat?
- It's a good hike
to the campsite.
Got decent elevation.
- Yeah, most importantly,
it's in the middle of nowhere.
- Why is that important?
- Oh, I don't know.
I normally prefer not to have
a lot of people watching
when I try
to contact an alien race.
- Hey, wait up!
Jay's gonna watch the kids
so we can come with you.
- Oh!
- And I brought jerky.
- Oh, uh...
[quirky music]
♪ ♪
[quiet music]
♪ ♪
- hi, honey.
- Hey.
- I know you've been
working hard
on those patience
family day ideas,
so I brought you tacos
for lunch.
- Ah, you are the best.
Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, my god.
No, this isn't
even albuquerque.
We're--we're in mexico.
I am literally eating
from a taco truck
parked at a mayan temple.
- I'm so glad you love them.
They are from a new restaurant
in jessup.
Really?
You were just
at a mayan temple.
- Well,
maybe I don't appreciate
their human sacrifices.
- So you spit out good food
just because
it comes from jessup?
- This is food from the town
that is slandering our town.
- The town mayor
is slandering us, not the town,
and he's probably
a perfectly lovely guy.
He's done a nice job
with jessup.
The town's got
a good vibe going on.
- Well, patience
had a good vibe too,
before all this
murder stuff happened.
- Mm-hmm.
- You know, not counting
the dead miners
or the church burning down
in the '80s.
- I'm gonna be honest with you.
I think that you could learn
a thing or two from them
about reshaping
our town's image.
Look,
there's a restaurant in jessup
that has a great happy hour.
Let's go tonight.
If you hate it,
you can use everything
you hate in your commercial.
We'll call it research.
- Actually not a bad idea.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, I'll check it out.
- Yeah, there's my man.
There's my little taco hound.
- [chuckles]
[mellow pop music]
♪ ♪
- ♪ leave
all your possessions ♪
♪ leave behind your clothes ♪
♪ can we run into the wild? ♪
♪ place the sun ♪
♪ into the wild ♪
♪ see the world
just like you did ♪
♪ when you were just a child ♪
♪ can we run ♪
♪ into the wild? ♪
♪ into the wild ♪
♪ ♪
- are you guys ready
to fish in the morning?
If you don't have your rods,
you can share mine.
- Uh, yeah, thanks,
but, um, I think harry
really wants to take a hike
in the morning, so we're
probably gonna do that.
- Oh, that sounds so fun.
I'll join you guys.
I know a great spot.
- Oh, wow.
Yeah, you know,
fishing's your thing though.
You should definitely do that.
- No, that's ridiculous.
I'll fish later.
- Oh, I was actually--
- why don't you
hang back with me, cuz?
I might kinda want
to learn how to fish.
- Oh!
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, oh, all right, well,
I guess you're stuck
with harry.
- Yeah.
- And, you come with me
to find some wood.
- I'll be right there.
You're welcome.
- What?
- I'm a ho.
I know about ho shit.
Go be a freak in the forest.
I won't tell no one.
- No, no, no, no, that's not--
- I'm already walking away.
- Oh, dude, dude, dude,
no, no, no, that's not--
do you need some help?
- No.
The portable house
is broken.
And your family people
are going to ruin the plan.
- I took care of them.
And if you want to do this,
we're setting up over there.
In the meantime,
there's the mountain.
It's gonna take a long time
to get there from camp.
- We have to get there
at 11:06 a.M., precisely.
This is our one chance.
- Yeah. You said.
- You are looking
constipated again.
- I'm gonna go talk to my dad.
- Don't play poker, my girl.
- I want to believe him.
[soft dramatic music]
♪ ♪
do you trust harry?
- What I believe
should have nothing to do
with what you believe.
Deep down in your gut,
do you trust him?
- Yeah, I do.
- Good.
That makes one of us.
- See, lots of plastic straws
in this restaurant,
but no turtles.
Coincidence?
- Sweetie, could you please
just try and enjoy yourself?
- Did I hear someone
is concerned about the straws?
Ours are made from cornstarch.
They decompose
and are very friendly
to our aquatic
dwelling friends.
- Well, what if the turtles
are on land
and they eat the straws
when they're dry?
Very sharp.
- He's just making a joke.
- [laughs]
of course.
Can I start you all
with a glass
of jessup's
world-famous spring water?
- Famous? That's odd.
I always thought water was
just water because it's water.
- I totally understand
you thinking that
since
you've never had our water.
- Fine, I'll have a glass
of ice water please.
- Oh, we don't
do ice water here.
If you put ice in the water,
you can't taste the water.
- Wow.
- You know, I think
we're just gonna need
another couple of minutes.
- Might be a murder in jessup
after all.
- Yeah, there might be.
[blues music]
♪ ♪
- whoo, nice!
- Yeah.
- Hey, you look happy.
- It is nice to be somewhere
that is untouched
by human consumption and greed.
And the music was...Not bad.
- It's not completely
untouched.
I been camping here
since I was a boy.
Summer comes later,
less water in the streams.
Wouldn't be surprised
if it all dried up someday.
- As a tribe, we can
do a ceremony and give thanks,
but if the change
isn't happening globally,
it's just not gonna
make a difference.
♪ ♪
- these people
seem to understand.
Maybe there is
no saving the humans.
If my people kill them all,
they die,
but if we do not
kill the humans,
they will destroy the planet,
then they will die anyway,
and every beautiful thing
on this planet
will die with them.
- It doesn't make sense.
Like, how could I drop a whole
dress off at the dry cleaners
and not even remember?
- That's weird,
especially for you.
Yeah,
you've a flawless memory.
You always remember everywhere
I stash my weed.
- [clears throat]
- [clears throat]
that's some smile from someone
who just lost
another baseball game.
- Still playing.
Different game though.
We both could win.
- [chuckles]
- oh, I'm sorry.
That should have sounded
really cheesy, but it didn't,
and I'm suspicious.
I'm gonna need to see some id.
- That's a clever way
to get my name.
It's elliot.
I even got a lanyard
from my worksite.
- Worksite?
- Yeah.
- Very adult.
- I got a degree
in archaeology
thinking I was gonna be
the indigenous indiana jones.
- I'd watch that.
So did you find the ark?
- Not yet.
I don't give up very easily
when I'm looking
for something special.
- Right.
[ahem]
coming.
- He's cute.
- That guy? No.
I can't date him.
His hair's way nicer than mine.
- You're, like,
even worse than mike.
- Oh, real talk, though.
The munsters are coming to town
for the summer.
- Gerald and bethany are here?
- It's my dad's
birthday tomorrow.
- Aw.
- Will you come to dinner?
They love you,
and if you're there,
maybe they'll have fun
and not try to fix my life.
- Of course,
and it will be fun.
But why are you
still talking to me?
- Sorry, ma'am,
we're all out of t-shirts.
- Damn it.
- Asked around about you.
- Oh, great.
So you know I'm a disaster.
- I know
you're a professional skier.
- That was a long time ago.
- Who you were
isn't who you are.
You're funny and smart,
and you got a wicked arm.
And you're pretty.
Uh, actually, I think
you're really, really pretty.
So you should let me take you
out to dinner tomorrow.
- I already have
a dinner thing,
but if you're down for dessert,
we could meet up after.
Okay, oh, and be sure
to be holding a single red rose
so I can tell you apart
from all the other hot guys
waiting for a lady.
- That's good.
Now can I buy a drink
for your friend
down at the end of the bar
for telling you
to flirt with me?
- [chuckles]
[background chatter]
- courtesy of our mayor.
- Hi, mitch green,
mayor of jessup.
It is so nice to have
a fellow mayor visiting.
Good to meet you, ben.
- That is so nice of you.
- This water
is from the '73 wildfire.
Smoke settled
on an exceptional snowpack,
giving the water clear tones
of mesquite.
- Yeah, I think we're probably
pretty good on the water.
- You're angry about the ad.
Look, a little rivalry's good
for the both of us.
You'll understand
in a few years
when you've been a mayor
for a little longer.
- Well, I have been a mayor
for quite some time,
and I have seen...
[pat] a lot.
- The truth is, you just have
a tougher hill to climb.
See, we have the best water
in the world,
and you have 59 dead miners.
It's...So tragic.
- That's not tragic.
The 59 is a story
about sacrifice.
- [chuckles]
sorry, mrs. Mayor,
but doesn't
play like sacrifice.
It plays like the beginning
of a horror movie.
Am I right, ben?
- I actually have a name.
It's kate.
I'm a teacher
and I have a jd/ph.D.
In environmental law
from cu boulder.
- I meant no disrespect.
- Oh, yes, you did.
The 59 is a beautiful story
about people who are willing
to die to save each other.
We're a town full of heroes.
And if you can't see that,
you're an idiot.
By the way,
your water tastes like shit,
and who the hell puts
cacao nibs in a citrus salad?
It's gross.
- Can't help with
the anger issues,
but...
Your salad will be comped.
[dinner music playing]
♪ ♪
- what happened to "he's
probably a perfectly nice guy?"
- screw him.
We're outta here.
What a douchebag.
[distant coyote howling]
[mosquito buzzing]
- ow, no.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- [singing in indigenous
language]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[dramatic chords, chorus]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- 60 seconds.
- The petals.
- Tell me it's a radio.
- It's a radio.
- Okay, I believe you.
I have to.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[device humming]
[device pulses]
- thank you.
Thank you for this.
For saving all of us.
- You are welcome.
- [laughs]
- the signal
will tell my people
not to come and kill everyone
for 50 years.
- What?
- After you are old and die,
then my people will come,
and they will kill
the rest of the human race.
- What?
- You're welcome!
- 50 years?
- You get to live,
and the planet gets to live.
I'm a genius.
- No. We need to stop it!
- Ten more seconds.
- My people need to come
and save the bison.
- Ow, you're hurting me.
- I'm sorry.
No!
- I'm going to smash it!
- Liar! No!
[power down hum]
this was it.
Our last chance.
Now you are going to die too.
- I guess you'll just have
to figure something else out.
- Why do you care?
I'm experiencing anger.
You were going to be dead
long before they come!
- How do you
still not get this?
This is not just about me.
What about everyone
that I care about?
- D'arcy will be dead
many years before you.
- You have to figure this out.
- [groans]
I am pacing out of anger!
If my device had delivered
its message,
we would have 50 years
to figure this out.
Now we will have 50 days
if we are lucky.
- No, we would have had
50 years for you to do nothing!
- [grumbles]
- I know that you don't care
unless it's me.
So guess what.
It's me again.
[phone rumbling]
shit, it's big leroy.
Hi, leroy.
Slow down.
What happened?
- [groaning
and breathing rapidly]
hi, sunny.
Cavalry's here.
- Hey, harry's here.
He's a doctor.
You're gonna be okay.
- I can do it.
All right, sunny, look at me.
Okay, breathe in deep.
Good.
Good.
Slow it down.
[big band music playing]
- ah.
Hello, sweetheart.
- Hi, dad.
- Oh.
Look at you, my baby.
I love your confidence.
You'll just wear anything,
won't you?
- Okay.
- I missed you.
- Well, I've just been here
being confident.
- Stop it.
[chuckles]
- well, it's good
to see you, sweetheart.
How are you doing?
- Good.
Happy birthday, dad.
- Bonsoir.
Your table is ready.
Won't you follow me?
- After you.
- Thank you.
- That's fine,
but the most important question
is which one's
your favorite?
- "dream warriors", obviously.
It had the most iconic
freddy line of all time.
Both: Welcome to
prime time, bitch.
[both chuckle]
- oh, my god, he's on a date.
I've been pushing him.
It's finally happening.
- Fancy yourself a matchmaker?
- [chuckles]
I don't know, maybe.
- That's good to know.
- Oh, for...
- Okay, sunny.
The head came out,
but it went back in.
I'm gonna try--
- that is shoulder dystocia.
- Is that bad?
- I can fix it.
Because I spent
an entire weekend last month
watching youtube videos
on human birthing.
- No.
- Also videos of a monkey
bathing a duck in the sink.
- Let me think.
- Asta, let the doctor
do his job.
- It's okay.
Come.
- You and you, help keep
sunny's thighs up
towards her stomach.
Asta, place
your hands suprapubically
over the fetal
anterior shoulder,
applying pressure
in a cpr style
in a downward lateral motion.
Be sure to like and subscribe.
- What about me?
What do I do?
- Just hold her hand.
- [whimpering]
- okay. You got this, baby.
- Okay, sunny,
you're gonna have one big push.
Harry, tell me
when you're ready.
- I'm ready.
- Okay, on the count
of three, sunny.
One, two, three.
Push.
- [singing in french]
♪ ♪
- here's little leroy.
My species
would never come together
for a birth like this,
and we never touch a newborn.
When the egg sack bursts
and the young emerge,
the sulfuric ooze is toxic.
- We're gonna smudge
that umbilical cord.
Wrap it in this buckskin.
Keep it in a cedar box,
put it in the house.
We do this to keep the kid
from wandering too far...
[baby cries]
or for too long.
♪ ♪
- not bad, weirdo.
♪ ♪
- well, listen to me
going on and on about myself
without asking you anything.
So tell me, what brought you
to patience from d.C.?
- Ha. You know what?
I'm fine just talking
about you, honestly.
- No, I'm serious.
- It's really not that
interesting, you know.
Have you tried that
burger place down by the lake?
Their burgers there,
they got burgers
the size of your head.
- Oh, come on,
I bet you're one of the most
pathologically interesting men
in this whole town.
- Oh, wow.
- I wanna know your story.
Ooh, is it dangerous?
Like [whispers] if you told me,
you'd have to kill.
- So you wanna know why
I moved here from d.C.?
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
Well, I'll tell you,
I was a cop,
and I made a mistake,
and my best friend died.
So I dragged my sick dad
out here
to this shitty little town
in the middle of nowhere,
that's full of people
who don't know
how to leave well enough alone.
Good night.
- Oh, no.
Excuse me.
- How are you doing,
really, sweetheart?
Are you okay?
- Great, I'm happy.
I'm doing incredibly good.
Too good, actually.
- Because, you know,
your mother and I were talking,
and there's a lot of
very interesting possibilities
in park city.
- Some really cute men too.
Very outdoorsy.
You like that.
- You know you can
accomplish anything
if you just
put your mind to it.
- Remember how driven she was,
even as a little girl?
- Remember that time on tv
she saw that guy
pull the tablecloth
off the table
without spilling anything?
Do you remember that?
- Yes, she was so determined.
She practiced and practiced.
She dressed up like a magician.
She had the hat--
- I know, and she actually
pulled the trick off.
She was so proud of herself.
You know, sweetheart,
I have a friend, bill,
who runs a realty business.
Maybe there might be something
in that for you.
-♪ oh, get me away from here,
I'm dying ♪
♪ play me a song
to set me free ♪
♪ nobody writes them
like they used to ♪
♪ so it may as well be me ♪
♪ they always reach
a sorry ending ♪
♪ they always get it
in the end ♪
♪ still it was worth it as I ♪
both: Are you listening to us?
- ♪ turned the pages solemnly
and then ♪
♪ with a winning smile,
the boy ♪
♪ with naivety succeeds ♪
♪ at the final moment,
I cried ♪
♪ I always cry at endings ♪
♪ oh, that wasn't what
I meant to say at all ♪
♪ from where
I'm sitting, rain ♪
♪ falling against the lonely
tenement has set my mind ♪
♪ to wander into the windows
of my lovers ♪
♪ they never know
unless I write ♪
♪ this is no declaration ♪
♪ I just thought
I'd let you know goodbye ♪
♪ said the hero in the story ♪
♪ it is mightier than swords ♪
♪ I could kill you sure ♪
♪ but I could only make you
cry with these words ♪
♪ cry with these words ♪
♪ cry
with these words ♪
♪ cry with these words ♪
♪ oh, get me away, I'm dying ♪
♪ get me away, I'm dying ♪
♪ get me away,
I'm dying ♪
♪ oh, I'm dying ♪
- you did a good job.
- I've held a lot of babies
since jay was born...
But doing it like this
with everyone around...
Everyone there
for the little baby...
I don't know.
I'm never gonna be jay's mom,
but maybe someday
I could at least
be someone in the room.
- Do you remember
in that glacier
when you first found out
who I was?
- Yeah.
How could I forget?
I was elbow deep
in your chest cavity.
- I told you not to feel guilty
about giving jay
up for adoption
because we send our offspring
into the great ice wind desert.
I think I understand now
why you feel guilty.
Children.
Generation to generation,
the earth's troubles
are passed on to them.
Babies on my planet
are self-sufficient
and can survive
on instinct alone.
Human children
learn everything
from the humans around them.
Without nurturing parents
to guide them,
those children become lost.
[acoustic music]
♪ ♪
without a community to help,
humans end up alone...
♪ ♪
with nobody to turn to
when they're in trouble.
But there is still hope.
There are some
who can find their strength.
- When people experience
a loss of time,
their friends tell them
it's normal,
it's not a big deal,
when in fact it's often
because they've been abducted
by aliens.
- I discovered
there are some humans
who are taught
how precious the earth is.
It is not enough to save them.
But if they can't, who will?
[classical music plays]
♪ ♪
- I think we may have
gotten off on the wrong foot.
What do you know
about lighthouses, ethan?
- I did a work-study one summer
at a lighthouse
off the coast of portugal.
It was breathtaking.
- They're symbols of guidance,
of strength, of truth.
That's what I am interested in,
the truth.
I know it hasn't been
very comfortable,
but we've done everything
above board because, in part,
I have a lot of reverence
for your kind.
- Mid-westerners?
- [chuckles]
- you're very likable, ethan.
Show me your true form.
- You're looking at it.
- I know the truth.
My father and I, we saw
your kind at the lighthouse,
and everyone made him feel
like he was crazy.
And so he took his own light
out of this world.
But I evolved.
We evolve through pain.
- [screams]
- I thought that would
make you change.
- My hand.
- [sighs]
you're a doctor.
Fix it.
[classical music swells]
♪ ♪
what is it?
- We just picked up a signal.
Lines of encrypted code,
but the signature is alien.
[device beeping]
- ah, shut it off.
Shut it off.
Ah, just woke me up
from the best dream.
I was having a threesome
with a starfish
and a little neck clam.
- It's receiving a signal...
[suspenseful music]
in my language.
- Seriously?
W-what does it say?
- It's a phone number...
From new york city.
♪ ♪
on "resident alien"...
- Break me out of here,
but you have to do it quick.
- What do you mean?
- Your people will send
someone else
to kill everyone for you.
- Including asta?
- You're an alien.
You know, phone home.
Call them
and tell them not to come.
- I will try to build a radio
to contact my people.
Mm.
Yes!
- Time for you two
to get to colorado
to find me whatever
was flying that machine.
- Max, who is that?
Why is he wearing a white coat?
- Are you the town doctor?
- Yes, I am.
- I remember everything,
even though
I'm not supposed to.
Most people don't.
There were others in the ship,
you know, who were taken?
Like
an intergalactic orphanage.
- Growing up that way
probably felt very alienating.
- Showed me my mom and dad
a few times.
Been searching for them
ever since the aliens
dumped me back here
five years ago.
- Then I can imagine
the complicated feelings
you have for them.
All that time,
all those missed opportunities.
- It's the missing things,
right, doc?
The missing things
are what help you heal.
Attachments, like you said.
Feel like I'm a single thread
from blowing away
in the wind altogether.
- Unfortunately,
we're out of time this week.
- Same time next week?
- Mm.
[soft dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[tires screech]
[brown bird's
"fingers to the bone"]
[driving bluegrass music]
- ♪ I work my fingers
to the bone ♪
♪ not a pretty little penny
have I got to show ♪
♪ I ain't looking for much
just a little bit of rest ♪
♪ by the side of the road ♪
♪ I lift my voice
to the forces above ♪
♪ the lords of labor
and the goddess of love ♪
♪ ain't I been a good,
hard-working ♪
♪ faithful servant and son?
♪ ♪
- what do you think
about the new one?
- I'm not sure yet...
[robert inaudible]
but I'll find out.
I'll find the truth
about all of them.
[brown bird's "bilgewater"]
[laidback acoustic strumming]
♪ ♪
- children, a pestilence.
They are not so much born,
but replicate like a virus,
continuing humanity's path
toward destruction.
Plus, it is illegal
to make them work,
so they are just gum stuck
to the bottom of your shoe.
- Listen up, skin bags.
I have built a radio
to tell my people
not to come and kill everyone,
including you.
That was difficult.
I am now the savior
of the human race,
so you can give me
my alien ball back.
- I would, but I gave your ball
to my dad.
He uses it to golf.
- You cannot golf
with that ball.
- Maybe you can't
because you're a bad golfer,
but he got a hole in one,
and in that hole was bird poop.
So now your silver alien ball
is covered in bird poop.
- I changed my mind.
I am going to tell my people
to save everyone but you,
and when you are dead,
I'm going to freeze you
and make snow cones
out of your gross, dead ice
and add the worst
snow cone flavor to it--papaya.
- That's dark.
- You know
what I'm gonna do to you?
- What could you do to me?
- [inaudible]
- you are a monster.
You will bring me
my alien ball.
You sick, broken child.
- That's cool.
He's building a radio
to save us.
- Are you a goldfish?
It's not a radio.
It's a bomb.
[bat clacks]
[cheers and applause]
- humans live to consume,
and their appetites
are endless.
They drop garbage
on the ground
wherever they go.
Earth is like a house
they've lit on fire
but continue to live in,
and they use
the earth's resources
to make ugly things
like teal crocs
and truck ducks.
- You rock, d'arcy!
[cheers and applause]
- d'arcy!
- D'arcy!
- All right, d'arcy!
Let's go, patience!
- Whoo!
- He seems like a nice guy.
She looks happy.
- I am not engaging.
Keeping my distance,
and you don't have to comment.
It's called boundaries.
- [chuckles]
- could you hypothetically
do a background check?
Wait, nope. Say nothing.
- All right, patience!
Let's hold 'em to zero runs.
That's right, zero runs
on the board for jessup.
Three for patience.
Thus patience--
better than jessup.
- Hey, there.
Didn't recognize you
not flat on your back.
- That's nice hair, bloom.
Next time, I'll show you
how to do a real braid.
- Just let me know if you
want me to have the pitcher
slow it down for you
so you can get a hit.
- I'll take it as slow
or as fast as you want to go.
[crowd yelling]
- second base, second base!
- Second! Second!
- Got him.
- No way.
- You're out.
- Yeah!
- Way to go d'arcy!
- ♪ take it to the bank ♪
♪ all the way, gang ♪
- fast enough for you?
- [chuckles]
- nice job, d'arcy!
[plucky electronic music]
- I'll be right back.
- [whispers]
sit in front of us.
The fate of everyone on earth
is at stake.
- She thinks
harry's building a bomb.
- He's not. It's a radio.
- When somebody
shows you who they are,
believe them the first time.
- That's pretty deep
for someone your age.
- It's maya angelou.
Dr. Maya angelou.
An actual doctor,
unlike the alien
who pretended to be one.
What else does
he pretend to do?
[crowd yelling]
[clack]
- oh!
- Foul ball.
- Ha!
Ha ha ha.
- Harry.
- What are you looking at?
Get your own ball.
- Harry.
- Mine.
I just caught it.
- Harry.
Here you go.
- Thanks.
- Good job, kid.
- I want that back.
- What are you doing?
- Watching the game.
When these
hammy humans are finished,
I'm going to pick
the celestial flowers
that grew from the water
of my spaceship.
It is for my radio.
- What do flowers
have to do with your radio?
- Plants have the most
complex biochemistry
of anything in nature,
yet humans give them to say,
"I love you.
Here are some flowers.
You are dead."
- I want to see this radio.
[clack]
[applause]
- why is she looking at me
like that?
Do I have a booger
on the edge of my nose?
Is it on my face?
- You know, I've always really
been interested in radios.
- Mm-hmm.
- Like, how do they work?
You know, like this one,
for instance.
Like, how does it actually send
a signal across the universe
all the way to your planet?
- In two days,
at exactly 11:06 a.M.,
the earth's axial tilt
will be in line
with the mars transit station.
- Transit station on mars?
That's weird.
We didn't know
anything about that.
- Ha ha ha!
Humans don't know anything
about anything.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's funny because it's true.
So this fissure of tellurium
will boost the radio signal,
bouncing the message
off of the radio transmitter
which humans
have named oumuamua.
- Huh.
- And it will send
the message to my people.
- All the way to your planet.
- Off the radio transmitter.
Anyway,
it will send them the message,
and they will not come
and kill everyone.
I have to do it
at that exact time.
- Why that exact time?
- Because the...
[sniffs]
the conditions will be ideal,
and they will not be ideal
again for an entire year,
and then it will be too late.
Why are you squinting at me?
Why are you asking
so many questions?
Do I have a booger on my face?
Point at the booger.
- Mm, I think you're lying
about what this is.
- Painful.
- Your last radio ended up
being a human death bomb,
and you lied that whole time.
- Well, you just lied to me
just now
about being interested
in radios.
I knew you were lying.
You're not a good actress.
You could not play
a beach corpse
on "law and order."
- excuse me.
You know,
this "tellurium fissure,"
it goes right through
the reservation,
so I think that's maybe where
we're gonna go to set it up.
- We?
- Yes, we.
My dad and I are coming
just to make sure
you're not lying.
- Still painful.
[upbeat music]
[chatter, laughter]
- good to see you.
- I like being
on the reservation.
It feels comfortable.
There is a warmth to it.
They must like it too,
since they're always together.
- Hey, harry.
Let's get you some food.
- Yes.
- [giggles]
- big leroy.
- Yep.
- Get harry a plate, yeah?
- Yeah, for sure.
Oh, oh, hey, hey.
- And how's little leroy?
- Hopefully almost here.
Starting to kick
like a little fancy dancer.
- Oh.
[laughter]
are you outdoorsy, harry?
- Yes.
My people prefer it outdoors.
- Oh, who are your people?
- The dutch.
- All right, here you go.
Enjoy.
- Thank you.
- You're that harry weirdo
who came with dan and asta.
- And you're that weirdo
who talks to weirdos.
Weirdo.
- [chuckles]
I'm drew.
It's all kind of my fault.
You know, it's like
every time I leave the city
and come back to the rez,
they gotta invite
everybody over.
Exhausting.
- I'm exhausted
just listening to you.
- I don't know.
Ever feel like you
belong someplace else?
- Yes.
[solemn music]
♪ ♪
- hey, deputy,
I had to drop some shirts off
at the dry cleaners,
so they gave me
your dress here to give to you.
- I don't have
any dry cleaning.
Wait, I've been looking
all over for that dress.
Did you take it in for me?
I would have remembered.
- No, I don't make a habit
of walking around
with women's clothing.
Although, I do like dresses
with pockets.
It makes the handbag optional.
Of course,
you could always just throw
a couple bandolier belts
over your shoulders
and tuck little tampons
in each little bullet slot.
- Sir, how many tampons
do you think I need?
- Shit, as many
as you can carry.
Tampons
are extremely versatile.
You can use them
for gunshot wounds,
for a sweaty brow.
- Oh.
- They actually
should market 'em to men
and call 'em manpons.
I'd buy them.
- That's quite
the ted talk, sir.
Um, judy cooper
is here to see you.
- Oh, shit.
- I think she thinks
you're dating
because you danced with her.
- I ain't danced with her.
She danced on me.
- Hi, judy.
- I brought you a cake.
It's store-bought.
- Okay.
- Yep.
Well, so do you wanna put
your number in my phone or...
- Uh-uh.
No, no, no, no, no.
- Ah, this guy's old-school.
Mm-hmm.
I like that.
- Yeah.
- So I'll just give you
my number.
[light music]
♪ ♪
use it or lose it.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Okay.
It's right on your hand.
All right.
- You got it.
- Okay.
- Bye, judy.
- Bye, judy.
O-kay.
There she is in the window.
- Oh, just in case
we missed it.
- Oh, look at that.
She--she waving there.
- She's...[laughing].
- Is she gone?
- It might be fun.
- Oh, hell no.
Are you crazy?
- Come on.
All you do is work
and take care of your dad.
Like, when was the last time
you went on a date?
- I've got people I can call.
- That was a very long lunch.
How do humans talk for hours
about different ways
to cook their meat?
- It's a good hike
to the campsite.
Got decent elevation.
- Yeah, most importantly,
it's in the middle of nowhere.
- Why is that important?
- Oh, I don't know.
I normally prefer not to have
a lot of people watching
when I try
to contact an alien race.
- Hey, wait up!
Jay's gonna watch the kids
so we can come with you.
- Oh!
- And I brought jerky.
- Oh, uh...
[quirky music]
♪ ♪
[quiet music]
♪ ♪
- hi, honey.
- Hey.
- I know you've been
working hard
on those patience
family day ideas,
so I brought you tacos
for lunch.
- Ah, you are the best.
Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, my god.
No, this isn't
even albuquerque.
We're--we're in mexico.
I am literally eating
from a taco truck
parked at a mayan temple.
- I'm so glad you love them.
They are from a new restaurant
in jessup.
Really?
You were just
at a mayan temple.
- Well,
maybe I don't appreciate
their human sacrifices.
- So you spit out good food
just because
it comes from jessup?
- This is food from the town
that is slandering our town.
- The town mayor
is slandering us, not the town,
and he's probably
a perfectly lovely guy.
He's done a nice job
with jessup.
The town's got
a good vibe going on.
- Well, patience
had a good vibe too,
before all this
murder stuff happened.
- Mm-hmm.
- You know, not counting
the dead miners
or the church burning down
in the '80s.
- I'm gonna be honest with you.
I think that you could learn
a thing or two from them
about reshaping
our town's image.
Look,
there's a restaurant in jessup
that has a great happy hour.
Let's go tonight.
If you hate it,
you can use everything
you hate in your commercial.
We'll call it research.
- Actually not a bad idea.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, I'll check it out.
- Yeah, there's my man.
There's my little taco hound.
- [chuckles]
[mellow pop music]
♪ ♪
- ♪ leave
all your possessions ♪
♪ leave behind your clothes ♪
♪ can we run into the wild? ♪
♪ place the sun ♪
♪ into the wild ♪
♪ see the world
just like you did ♪
♪ when you were just a child ♪
♪ can we run ♪
♪ into the wild? ♪
♪ into the wild ♪
♪ ♪
- are you guys ready
to fish in the morning?
If you don't have your rods,
you can share mine.
- Uh, yeah, thanks,
but, um, I think harry
really wants to take a hike
in the morning, so we're
probably gonna do that.
- Oh, that sounds so fun.
I'll join you guys.
I know a great spot.
- Oh, wow.
Yeah, you know,
fishing's your thing though.
You should definitely do that.
- No, that's ridiculous.
I'll fish later.
- Oh, I was actually--
- why don't you
hang back with me, cuz?
I might kinda want
to learn how to fish.
- Oh!
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, oh, all right, well,
I guess you're stuck
with harry.
- Yeah.
- And, you come with me
to find some wood.
- I'll be right there.
You're welcome.
- What?
- I'm a ho.
I know about ho shit.
Go be a freak in the forest.
I won't tell no one.
- No, no, no, no, that's not--
- I'm already walking away.
- Oh, dude, dude, dude,
no, no, no, that's not--
do you need some help?
- No.
The portable house
is broken.
And your family people
are going to ruin the plan.
- I took care of them.
And if you want to do this,
we're setting up over there.
In the meantime,
there's the mountain.
It's gonna take a long time
to get there from camp.
- We have to get there
at 11:06 a.M., precisely.
This is our one chance.
- Yeah. You said.
- You are looking
constipated again.
- I'm gonna go talk to my dad.
- Don't play poker, my girl.
- I want to believe him.
[soft dramatic music]
♪ ♪
do you trust harry?
- What I believe
should have nothing to do
with what you believe.
Deep down in your gut,
do you trust him?
- Yeah, I do.
- Good.
That makes one of us.
- See, lots of plastic straws
in this restaurant,
but no turtles.
Coincidence?
- Sweetie, could you please
just try and enjoy yourself?
- Did I hear someone
is concerned about the straws?
Ours are made from cornstarch.
They decompose
and are very friendly
to our aquatic
dwelling friends.
- Well, what if the turtles
are on land
and they eat the straws
when they're dry?
Very sharp.
- He's just making a joke.
- [laughs]
of course.
Can I start you all
with a glass
of jessup's
world-famous spring water?
- Famous? That's odd.
I always thought water was
just water because it's water.
- I totally understand
you thinking that
since
you've never had our water.
- Fine, I'll have a glass
of ice water please.
- Oh, we don't
do ice water here.
If you put ice in the water,
you can't taste the water.
- Wow.
- You know, I think
we're just gonna need
another couple of minutes.
- Might be a murder in jessup
after all.
- Yeah, there might be.
[blues music]
♪ ♪
- whoo, nice!
- Yeah.
- Hey, you look happy.
- It is nice to be somewhere
that is untouched
by human consumption and greed.
And the music was...Not bad.
- It's not completely
untouched.
I been camping here
since I was a boy.
Summer comes later,
less water in the streams.
Wouldn't be surprised
if it all dried up someday.
- As a tribe, we can
do a ceremony and give thanks,
but if the change
isn't happening globally,
it's just not gonna
make a difference.
♪ ♪
- these people
seem to understand.
Maybe there is
no saving the humans.
If my people kill them all,
they die,
but if we do not
kill the humans,
they will destroy the planet,
then they will die anyway,
and every beautiful thing
on this planet
will die with them.
- It doesn't make sense.
Like, how could I drop a whole
dress off at the dry cleaners
and not even remember?
- That's weird,
especially for you.
Yeah,
you've a flawless memory.
You always remember everywhere
I stash my weed.
- [clears throat]
- [clears throat]
that's some smile from someone
who just lost
another baseball game.
- Still playing.
Different game though.
We both could win.
- [chuckles]
- oh, I'm sorry.
That should have sounded
really cheesy, but it didn't,
and I'm suspicious.
I'm gonna need to see some id.
- That's a clever way
to get my name.
It's elliot.
I even got a lanyard
from my worksite.
- Worksite?
- Yeah.
- Very adult.
- I got a degree
in archaeology
thinking I was gonna be
the indigenous indiana jones.
- I'd watch that.
So did you find the ark?
- Not yet.
I don't give up very easily
when I'm looking
for something special.
- Right.
[ahem]
coming.
- He's cute.
- That guy? No.
I can't date him.
His hair's way nicer than mine.
- You're, like,
even worse than mike.
- Oh, real talk, though.
The munsters are coming to town
for the summer.
- Gerald and bethany are here?
- It's my dad's
birthday tomorrow.
- Aw.
- Will you come to dinner?
They love you,
and if you're there,
maybe they'll have fun
and not try to fix my life.
- Of course,
and it will be fun.
But why are you
still talking to me?
- Sorry, ma'am,
we're all out of t-shirts.
- Damn it.
- Asked around about you.
- Oh, great.
So you know I'm a disaster.
- I know
you're a professional skier.
- That was a long time ago.
- Who you were
isn't who you are.
You're funny and smart,
and you got a wicked arm.
And you're pretty.
Uh, actually, I think
you're really, really pretty.
So you should let me take you
out to dinner tomorrow.
- I already have
a dinner thing,
but if you're down for dessert,
we could meet up after.
Okay, oh, and be sure
to be holding a single red rose
so I can tell you apart
from all the other hot guys
waiting for a lady.
- That's good.
Now can I buy a drink
for your friend
down at the end of the bar
for telling you
to flirt with me?
- [chuckles]
[background chatter]
- courtesy of our mayor.
- Hi, mitch green,
mayor of jessup.
It is so nice to have
a fellow mayor visiting.
Good to meet you, ben.
- That is so nice of you.
- This water
is from the '73 wildfire.
Smoke settled
on an exceptional snowpack,
giving the water clear tones
of mesquite.
- Yeah, I think we're probably
pretty good on the water.
- You're angry about the ad.
Look, a little rivalry's good
for the both of us.
You'll understand
in a few years
when you've been a mayor
for a little longer.
- Well, I have been a mayor
for quite some time,
and I have seen...
[pat] a lot.
- The truth is, you just have
a tougher hill to climb.
See, we have the best water
in the world,
and you have 59 dead miners.
It's...So tragic.
- That's not tragic.
The 59 is a story
about sacrifice.
- [chuckles]
sorry, mrs. Mayor,
but doesn't
play like sacrifice.
It plays like the beginning
of a horror movie.
Am I right, ben?
- I actually have a name.
It's kate.
I'm a teacher
and I have a jd/ph.D.
In environmental law
from cu boulder.
- I meant no disrespect.
- Oh, yes, you did.
The 59 is a beautiful story
about people who are willing
to die to save each other.
We're a town full of heroes.
And if you can't see that,
you're an idiot.
By the way,
your water tastes like shit,
and who the hell puts
cacao nibs in a citrus salad?
It's gross.
- Can't help with
the anger issues,
but...
Your salad will be comped.
[dinner music playing]
♪ ♪
- what happened to "he's
probably a perfectly nice guy?"
- screw him.
We're outta here.
What a douchebag.
[distant coyote howling]
[mosquito buzzing]
- ow, no.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- [singing in indigenous
language]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[dramatic chords, chorus]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- 60 seconds.
- The petals.
- Tell me it's a radio.
- It's a radio.
- Okay, I believe you.
I have to.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[device humming]
[device pulses]
- thank you.
Thank you for this.
For saving all of us.
- You are welcome.
- [laughs]
- the signal
will tell my people
not to come and kill everyone
for 50 years.
- What?
- After you are old and die,
then my people will come,
and they will kill
the rest of the human race.
- What?
- You're welcome!
- 50 years?
- You get to live,
and the planet gets to live.
I'm a genius.
- No. We need to stop it!
- Ten more seconds.
- My people need to come
and save the bison.
- Ow, you're hurting me.
- I'm sorry.
No!
- I'm going to smash it!
- Liar! No!
[power down hum]
this was it.
Our last chance.
Now you are going to die too.
- I guess you'll just have
to figure something else out.
- Why do you care?
I'm experiencing anger.
You were going to be dead
long before they come!
- How do you
still not get this?
This is not just about me.
What about everyone
that I care about?
- D'arcy will be dead
many years before you.
- You have to figure this out.
- [groans]
I am pacing out of anger!
If my device had delivered
its message,
we would have 50 years
to figure this out.
Now we will have 50 days
if we are lucky.
- No, we would have had
50 years for you to do nothing!
- [grumbles]
- I know that you don't care
unless it's me.
So guess what.
It's me again.
[phone rumbling]
shit, it's big leroy.
Hi, leroy.
Slow down.
What happened?
- [groaning
and breathing rapidly]
hi, sunny.
Cavalry's here.
- Hey, harry's here.
He's a doctor.
You're gonna be okay.
- I can do it.
All right, sunny, look at me.
Okay, breathe in deep.
Good.
Good.
Slow it down.
[big band music playing]
- ah.
Hello, sweetheart.
- Hi, dad.
- Oh.
Look at you, my baby.
I love your confidence.
You'll just wear anything,
won't you?
- Okay.
- I missed you.
- Well, I've just been here
being confident.
- Stop it.
[chuckles]
- well, it's good
to see you, sweetheart.
How are you doing?
- Good.
Happy birthday, dad.
- Bonsoir.
Your table is ready.
Won't you follow me?
- After you.
- Thank you.
- That's fine,
but the most important question
is which one's
your favorite?
- "dream warriors", obviously.
It had the most iconic
freddy line of all time.
Both: Welcome to
prime time, bitch.
[both chuckle]
- oh, my god, he's on a date.
I've been pushing him.
It's finally happening.
- Fancy yourself a matchmaker?
- [chuckles]
I don't know, maybe.
- That's good to know.
- Oh, for...
- Okay, sunny.
The head came out,
but it went back in.
I'm gonna try--
- that is shoulder dystocia.
- Is that bad?
- I can fix it.
Because I spent
an entire weekend last month
watching youtube videos
on human birthing.
- No.
- Also videos of a monkey
bathing a duck in the sink.
- Let me think.
- Asta, let the doctor
do his job.
- It's okay.
Come.
- You and you, help keep
sunny's thighs up
towards her stomach.
Asta, place
your hands suprapubically
over the fetal
anterior shoulder,
applying pressure
in a cpr style
in a downward lateral motion.
Be sure to like and subscribe.
- What about me?
What do I do?
- Just hold her hand.
- [whimpering]
- okay. You got this, baby.
- Okay, sunny,
you're gonna have one big push.
Harry, tell me
when you're ready.
- I'm ready.
- Okay, on the count
of three, sunny.
One, two, three.
Push.
- [singing in french]
♪ ♪
- here's little leroy.
My species
would never come together
for a birth like this,
and we never touch a newborn.
When the egg sack bursts
and the young emerge,
the sulfuric ooze is toxic.
- We're gonna smudge
that umbilical cord.
Wrap it in this buckskin.
Keep it in a cedar box,
put it in the house.
We do this to keep the kid
from wandering too far...
[baby cries]
or for too long.
♪ ♪
- not bad, weirdo.
♪ ♪
- well, listen to me
going on and on about myself
without asking you anything.
So tell me, what brought you
to patience from d.C.?
- Ha. You know what?
I'm fine just talking
about you, honestly.
- No, I'm serious.
- It's really not that
interesting, you know.
Have you tried that
burger place down by the lake?
Their burgers there,
they got burgers
the size of your head.
- Oh, come on,
I bet you're one of the most
pathologically interesting men
in this whole town.
- Oh, wow.
- I wanna know your story.
Ooh, is it dangerous?
Like [whispers] if you told me,
you'd have to kill.
- So you wanna know why
I moved here from d.C.?
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
Well, I'll tell you,
I was a cop,
and I made a mistake,
and my best friend died.
So I dragged my sick dad
out here
to this shitty little town
in the middle of nowhere,
that's full of people
who don't know
how to leave well enough alone.
Good night.
- Oh, no.
Excuse me.
- How are you doing,
really, sweetheart?
Are you okay?
- Great, I'm happy.
I'm doing incredibly good.
Too good, actually.
- Because, you know,
your mother and I were talking,
and there's a lot of
very interesting possibilities
in park city.
- Some really cute men too.
Very outdoorsy.
You like that.
- You know you can
accomplish anything
if you just
put your mind to it.
- Remember how driven she was,
even as a little girl?
- Remember that time on tv
she saw that guy
pull the tablecloth
off the table
without spilling anything?
Do you remember that?
- Yes, she was so determined.
She practiced and practiced.
She dressed up like a magician.
She had the hat--
- I know, and she actually
pulled the trick off.
She was so proud of herself.
You know, sweetheart,
I have a friend, bill,
who runs a realty business.
Maybe there might be something
in that for you.
-♪ oh, get me away from here,
I'm dying ♪
♪ play me a song
to set me free ♪
♪ nobody writes them
like they used to ♪
♪ so it may as well be me ♪
♪ they always reach
a sorry ending ♪
♪ they always get it
in the end ♪
♪ still it was worth it as I ♪
both: Are you listening to us?
- ♪ turned the pages solemnly
and then ♪
♪ with a winning smile,
the boy ♪
♪ with naivety succeeds ♪
♪ at the final moment,
I cried ♪
♪ I always cry at endings ♪
♪ oh, that wasn't what
I meant to say at all ♪
♪ from where
I'm sitting, rain ♪
♪ falling against the lonely
tenement has set my mind ♪
♪ to wander into the windows
of my lovers ♪
♪ they never know
unless I write ♪
♪ this is no declaration ♪
♪ I just thought
I'd let you know goodbye ♪
♪ said the hero in the story ♪
♪ it is mightier than swords ♪
♪ I could kill you sure ♪
♪ but I could only make you
cry with these words ♪
♪ cry with these words ♪
♪ cry
with these words ♪
♪ cry with these words ♪
♪ oh, get me away, I'm dying ♪
♪ get me away, I'm dying ♪
♪ get me away,
I'm dying ♪
♪ oh, I'm dying ♪
- you did a good job.
- I've held a lot of babies
since jay was born...
But doing it like this
with everyone around...
Everyone there
for the little baby...
I don't know.
I'm never gonna be jay's mom,
but maybe someday
I could at least
be someone in the room.
- Do you remember
in that glacier
when you first found out
who I was?
- Yeah.
How could I forget?
I was elbow deep
in your chest cavity.
- I told you not to feel guilty
about giving jay
up for adoption
because we send our offspring
into the great ice wind desert.
I think I understand now
why you feel guilty.
Children.
Generation to generation,
the earth's troubles
are passed on to them.
Babies on my planet
are self-sufficient
and can survive
on instinct alone.
Human children
learn everything
from the humans around them.
Without nurturing parents
to guide them,
those children become lost.
[acoustic music]
♪ ♪
without a community to help,
humans end up alone...
♪ ♪
with nobody to turn to
when they're in trouble.
But there is still hope.
There are some
who can find their strength.
- When people experience
a loss of time,
their friends tell them
it's normal,
it's not a big deal,
when in fact it's often
because they've been abducted
by aliens.
- I discovered
there are some humans
who are taught
how precious the earth is.
It is not enough to save them.
But if they can't, who will?
[classical music plays]
♪ ♪
- I think we may have
gotten off on the wrong foot.
What do you know
about lighthouses, ethan?
- I did a work-study one summer
at a lighthouse
off the coast of portugal.
It was breathtaking.
- They're symbols of guidance,
of strength, of truth.
That's what I am interested in,
the truth.
I know it hasn't been
very comfortable,
but we've done everything
above board because, in part,
I have a lot of reverence
for your kind.
- Mid-westerners?
- [chuckles]
- you're very likable, ethan.
Show me your true form.
- You're looking at it.
- I know the truth.
My father and I, we saw
your kind at the lighthouse,
and everyone made him feel
like he was crazy.
And so he took his own light
out of this world.
But I evolved.
We evolve through pain.
- [screams]
- I thought that would
make you change.
- My hand.
- [sighs]
you're a doctor.
Fix it.
[classical music swells]
♪ ♪
what is it?
- We just picked up a signal.
Lines of encrypted code,
but the signature is alien.
[device beeping]
- ah, shut it off.
Shut it off.
Ah, just woke me up
from the best dream.
I was having a threesome
with a starfish
and a little neck clam.
- It's receiving a signal...
[suspenseful music]
in my language.
- Seriously?
W-what does it say?
- It's a phone number...
From new york city.
♪ ♪