Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 8, Episode 5 - Lost and Found - full transcript
The guys need to retrieve a wallet on a hostile planet
[SLURPS]
Ah.
That's darn fine coffee.
It'd better be.
You had, like, 12 cups.
Only thing
that keeps me steady.
You don't want to see him
without it.
Great lunch, guys.
This one's on me.
Great.
Delicious.
You've been
training hard out there.
You earned it. Oh, waiter.
Food courts
do not have waiters.
Heh. Yes. Of course.
Go ahead and put all this
on the company tab.
Payment is due in full
immediately.
Uh... ha ha ha ha.
Ow. Okay. Sure, uh...
I'll just get the company
to reimburse me later.
Oh, no.
I-I don't have my wallet.
No wallet.
Aah. Hey, come on.
Uh, can anyone else
cover lunch today
so I can get out of
this force field?
No can do.
I don't have any creds.
Uhh. All right.
My wallet's got to be somewhere.
Let's see.
Last night, I definitely had it
at the Space Club
'cause I bought
the first round of wings.
Then I bought
the last round of wings.
And then-- Ahh.
What?
I left my wallet
back on mantis planet.
Can you guys go get it for me?
I don't know.
That sounds like a planet
full of mantises.
Oh, it is.
They're cool, though. I swear.
It'll be super-easy.
Just in and out.
Think of it as one of
your training exercises.
[GROANS]
Let's go get his wallet.
Can we drive?
Why not?
Oh, fun.
Manti love robots.
We're getting close.
Aren't you forgetting something?
Oh, correct.
Hey, what's with the beard?
Oh, this? It is a disguise.
I need the manti to believe
I'm a human being.
Why? I thought you said
they loved robots.
They do.
In their horror movies.
Outside of that,
manti actually find robots
extremely repulsive.
So you coming with us
isn't gonna be a problem, is it?
I'm quite sure
I'll go undetected
with this beard
and this baseball cap.
[GROANS] As long as we respect
all their customs,
we'll be fine.
Take a left here.
[♪♪♪]
Before we disembark,
there are a few cultural rules
we should--
Cool. Bugs with guns.
We have been commanded
to escort you
to the Great Mountain
throne room
by decree of
the King of Mantlantis.
Whoa. The king
wants to see us?
Are we in trouble
or something?
Huh? Troub-- No.
No, no.
The king just likes
to meet everyone
who travels to Mantlantis.
Come along, then.
[STAMMERS]
You're not a robot, are you?
I'm, uh, getting
kind of a vibe here.
No, sir. If I were a robot,
how could I grow
this cool human beard?
Hmm.
It is a pretty sweet beard.
Good coverage, too.
Whenever I try,
it's just like it doesn't
really grow on the sides.
Of course, it's like
a jungle on my thorax,
but isn't that
always the way?
I hear that.
Mantis King.
Mantis King. Mantis King.
[SLURPS]
What's he saying?
So, do you, like,
have a translator or...
[SLURPING]
Uh...
Uh...
Blecch.
Pardon my gum chewing.
I just wanted to freshen up
before meeting you.
Well, uh, we're here
about a wallet.
Our friend Sureshot
said he was here
partying last night
and thinks
he left it behind.
Sureshot. Yes.
Our lost-and-found box
could contain
any item lost or found.
How cool. That's just like
what we have at the park.
I guess we're all more alike
than we think.
[LAUGHS]
Yes, I suppose we are.
There it is.
Sureshot was right.
This was easy.
Um...
But before outsiders
can access our lost and found,
it is our custom
for them to join us
at the royal feast.
Oh, we wouldn't want to
go against your customs.
Yeah,
we can have a little bite.
Let the feast begin.
[BELL DINGS]
What? No.
You guys, this food.
We can't eat this.
You choke down
whatever they feed us
until we get that wallet.
That's an order.
Our host is watching.
[SLURPING]
[ALL GULPING]
[♪♪♪]
And now frozen bug butts.
Enjoy.
[STOMACH GROWLS]
No more bug food.
The wallet's right over there.
Let's just grab it and go.
[SIGHS] Yeah,
I can't take much more.
I'll go talk to the king.
Ah, Mordecai.
Hey, uh, I just wanted to say
thanks for dinner--
all the bugs and guts
and stuff--
but we're in
a bit of a hurry.
We were wondering...
Ah, yes.
Your beloved lost item
still waits to be found.
Right.
So if we could just snag it,
we'll be out of your hair.
Nonsense. You absolutely
cannot leave here
until you've tried
our galaxy-renowned dessert.
Bring out
the vanilla ice cream.
Oh, that's awesome.
I love vanilla ice cream.
All right, great.
It's refreshingly normal.
Aah.
[COOS]
[GROANS]
Ooh, you got
the juiciest one.
Jealous.
[CHUCKLES] You know,
I'm so full already.
Here. You want it?
[ALL GASP]
ALL: Ooh.
[GIGGLES]
Ooh.
Mordecai,
I-I-I don't know
what to say.
Ha.
What? Aah.
Mordecai,
you sly Earth creature you.
What a grand ruse.
"Lost your wallet." Ha.
Your intention
was to propose to my daughter
this whole time.
What?
Ha ha. No way.
Is this for real?
Very real.
In manti culture,
offering food to another
is an instant
marriage proposal.
Well, the heart
knows what it wants, I guess.
Not to be too hasty,
of course.
We still await
the princess' decision.
We're manti,
not barbarians.
Daughter, do you consent to
this fine young man's proposal?
I do, Father.
I say yes.
Kiss me, my love.
Kiss me.
[SLURPING]
Aah. Get away.
I mean, get a--
wait for me to run to
the bathroom real quick.
And, uh, I need my friends
to come with me.
Nah, I'm good. I want to see
how this turns-- Ow.
Your Earth tradition
of using the bathroom in groups
is baffling,
but I'm not one to judge.
Go. Go.
Ha ha. Be back
in just one second. Ha ha ha.
Return to me soon, darling.
What do I do?
What do I do?
Hey, look on
the bright side.
[SING-SONG]
Somebody likes you.
Just get married
and have some mantis babies.
Except he won't live
to see them,
because she will eat him
right after they get together.
Ha. Ha ha ha.
Ha ha. Wait. What?
Yes. In mantis culture,
it is customary for the bride
to eat the groom
immediately after marriage.
But then how is there
a king and a princess
if the females
eat their mates?
Look,
I don't know everything.
Ahh. I hate this planet.
Let's just get the wallet
and get out of here.
Hey, settle down. After they've
been so generous with us,
you really want to run
like a coward?
No.
So just explain
the misunderstanding.
They'll get it.
Okay. Yeah.
[SLURPING]
Ha ha. Yeah.
Have a seat.
So... I'm really sorry
about this,
but I've got this space mission
to accomplish.
And, um...
I have sort of
an "it's complicated" thing
still happening back on Earth.
Oh, in mantis culture,
they don't have
"it's complicated,"
so she's confused.
Yes,
I understand that, Recap.
I'm just trying to tell her
I'm not going to marry her.
[ALL GASP]
I mean...
You're not gonna...
I mean, it's just--
[SOBS]
[GROWLING AND HISSING]
In mantis culture,
when someone
makes a princess cry, they...
Execute them.
There you go.
Aah.
Get down.
[ALL SCREAM]
They're trying to kill us.
What do we do?
Why don't you
just marry her?
What, are you
afraid of commitment?
What? No.
What are you talking about?
Kidding.
Hyah.
Ow.
[RUMBLING]
I'll hold 'em off. Run.
We can't just leave her
out there.
[GRUNTS]
There's too many of 'em.
What do we do?
Leave this to me.
Yaah.
Normally,
I'm actually super-chill.
But the king starts spraying
that attack pheromone,
and it's like, "Whoo.
Time to eat someone's face."
[HISSES]
Big mistake, bro.
I eat humans like you
for an after-dinner snack.
Wait.
You mean humans like me?
Aah. A robot.
[ALL SCREAM]
Ha ha ha.
That's right.
Blaah. Blaah.
Get the wallet.
Got it. Let's go.
Get to the kart.
There is no escape.
Guards, seize them.
Do we have to seize them?
They have a robot,
and that's just, like, "Ew."
Just shoot them.
Fire. More. More.
Keep shooting.
Wait. Less. Less.
Actually,
maybe stop altogether.
We got your wallet.
What took you? Waiter.
I am still not a waiter.
Well, whatever you are,
payment has arrived.
About time.
Force field removed.
Finally. Ha.
A little respect.
Now let me just pay
the stupid bill
and get out of--
Huh. Okay.
New mission.
I need you guys
to go to my bank
on the wasp planet
and take out some--
[ALL GROAN]
They're super-chill. I swear.
Aw, come on.
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Ah.
That's darn fine coffee.
It'd better be.
You had, like, 12 cups.
Only thing
that keeps me steady.
You don't want to see him
without it.
Great lunch, guys.
This one's on me.
Great.
Delicious.
You've been
training hard out there.
You earned it. Oh, waiter.
Food courts
do not have waiters.
Heh. Yes. Of course.
Go ahead and put all this
on the company tab.
Payment is due in full
immediately.
Uh... ha ha ha ha.
Ow. Okay. Sure, uh...
I'll just get the company
to reimburse me later.
Oh, no.
I-I don't have my wallet.
No wallet.
Aah. Hey, come on.
Uh, can anyone else
cover lunch today
so I can get out of
this force field?
No can do.
I don't have any creds.
Uhh. All right.
My wallet's got to be somewhere.
Let's see.
Last night, I definitely had it
at the Space Club
'cause I bought
the first round of wings.
Then I bought
the last round of wings.
And then-- Ahh.
What?
I left my wallet
back on mantis planet.
Can you guys go get it for me?
I don't know.
That sounds like a planet
full of mantises.
Oh, it is.
They're cool, though. I swear.
It'll be super-easy.
Just in and out.
Think of it as one of
your training exercises.
[GROANS]
Let's go get his wallet.
Can we drive?
Why not?
Oh, fun.
Manti love robots.
We're getting close.
Aren't you forgetting something?
Oh, correct.
Hey, what's with the beard?
Oh, this? It is a disguise.
I need the manti to believe
I'm a human being.
Why? I thought you said
they loved robots.
They do.
In their horror movies.
Outside of that,
manti actually find robots
extremely repulsive.
So you coming with us
isn't gonna be a problem, is it?
I'm quite sure
I'll go undetected
with this beard
and this baseball cap.
[GROANS] As long as we respect
all their customs,
we'll be fine.
Take a left here.
[♪♪♪]
Before we disembark,
there are a few cultural rules
we should--
Cool. Bugs with guns.
We have been commanded
to escort you
to the Great Mountain
throne room
by decree of
the King of Mantlantis.
Whoa. The king
wants to see us?
Are we in trouble
or something?
Huh? Troub-- No.
No, no.
The king just likes
to meet everyone
who travels to Mantlantis.
Come along, then.
[STAMMERS]
You're not a robot, are you?
I'm, uh, getting
kind of a vibe here.
No, sir. If I were a robot,
how could I grow
this cool human beard?
Hmm.
It is a pretty sweet beard.
Good coverage, too.
Whenever I try,
it's just like it doesn't
really grow on the sides.
Of course, it's like
a jungle on my thorax,
but isn't that
always the way?
I hear that.
Mantis King.
Mantis King. Mantis King.
[SLURPS]
What's he saying?
So, do you, like,
have a translator or...
[SLURPING]
Uh...
Uh...
Blecch.
Pardon my gum chewing.
I just wanted to freshen up
before meeting you.
Well, uh, we're here
about a wallet.
Our friend Sureshot
said he was here
partying last night
and thinks
he left it behind.
Sureshot. Yes.
Our lost-and-found box
could contain
any item lost or found.
How cool. That's just like
what we have at the park.
I guess we're all more alike
than we think.
[LAUGHS]
Yes, I suppose we are.
There it is.
Sureshot was right.
This was easy.
Um...
But before outsiders
can access our lost and found,
it is our custom
for them to join us
at the royal feast.
Oh, we wouldn't want to
go against your customs.
Yeah,
we can have a little bite.
Let the feast begin.
[BELL DINGS]
What? No.
You guys, this food.
We can't eat this.
You choke down
whatever they feed us
until we get that wallet.
That's an order.
Our host is watching.
[SLURPING]
[ALL GULPING]
[♪♪♪]
And now frozen bug butts.
Enjoy.
[STOMACH GROWLS]
No more bug food.
The wallet's right over there.
Let's just grab it and go.
[SIGHS] Yeah,
I can't take much more.
I'll go talk to the king.
Ah, Mordecai.
Hey, uh, I just wanted to say
thanks for dinner--
all the bugs and guts
and stuff--
but we're in
a bit of a hurry.
We were wondering...
Ah, yes.
Your beloved lost item
still waits to be found.
Right.
So if we could just snag it,
we'll be out of your hair.
Nonsense. You absolutely
cannot leave here
until you've tried
our galaxy-renowned dessert.
Bring out
the vanilla ice cream.
Oh, that's awesome.
I love vanilla ice cream.
All right, great.
It's refreshingly normal.
Aah.
[COOS]
[GROANS]
Ooh, you got
the juiciest one.
Jealous.
[CHUCKLES] You know,
I'm so full already.
Here. You want it?
[ALL GASP]
ALL: Ooh.
[GIGGLES]
Ooh.
Mordecai,
I-I-I don't know
what to say.
Ha.
What? Aah.
Mordecai,
you sly Earth creature you.
What a grand ruse.
"Lost your wallet." Ha.
Your intention
was to propose to my daughter
this whole time.
What?
Ha ha. No way.
Is this for real?
Very real.
In manti culture,
offering food to another
is an instant
marriage proposal.
Well, the heart
knows what it wants, I guess.
Not to be too hasty,
of course.
We still await
the princess' decision.
We're manti,
not barbarians.
Daughter, do you consent to
this fine young man's proposal?
I do, Father.
I say yes.
Kiss me, my love.
Kiss me.
[SLURPING]
Aah. Get away.
I mean, get a--
wait for me to run to
the bathroom real quick.
And, uh, I need my friends
to come with me.
Nah, I'm good. I want to see
how this turns-- Ow.
Your Earth tradition
of using the bathroom in groups
is baffling,
but I'm not one to judge.
Go. Go.
Ha ha. Be back
in just one second. Ha ha ha.
Return to me soon, darling.
What do I do?
What do I do?
Hey, look on
the bright side.
[SING-SONG]
Somebody likes you.
Just get married
and have some mantis babies.
Except he won't live
to see them,
because she will eat him
right after they get together.
Ha. Ha ha ha.
Ha ha. Wait. What?
Yes. In mantis culture,
it is customary for the bride
to eat the groom
immediately after marriage.
But then how is there
a king and a princess
if the females
eat their mates?
Look,
I don't know everything.
Ahh. I hate this planet.
Let's just get the wallet
and get out of here.
Hey, settle down. After they've
been so generous with us,
you really want to run
like a coward?
No.
So just explain
the misunderstanding.
They'll get it.
Okay. Yeah.
[SLURPING]
Ha ha. Yeah.
Have a seat.
So... I'm really sorry
about this,
but I've got this space mission
to accomplish.
And, um...
I have sort of
an "it's complicated" thing
still happening back on Earth.
Oh, in mantis culture,
they don't have
"it's complicated,"
so she's confused.
Yes,
I understand that, Recap.
I'm just trying to tell her
I'm not going to marry her.
[ALL GASP]
I mean...
You're not gonna...
I mean, it's just--
[SOBS]
[GROWLING AND HISSING]
In mantis culture,
when someone
makes a princess cry, they...
Execute them.
There you go.
Aah.
Get down.
[ALL SCREAM]
They're trying to kill us.
What do we do?
Why don't you
just marry her?
What, are you
afraid of commitment?
What? No.
What are you talking about?
Kidding.
Hyah.
Ow.
[RUMBLING]
I'll hold 'em off. Run.
We can't just leave her
out there.
[GRUNTS]
There's too many of 'em.
What do we do?
Leave this to me.
Yaah.
Normally,
I'm actually super-chill.
But the king starts spraying
that attack pheromone,
and it's like, "Whoo.
Time to eat someone's face."
[HISSES]
Big mistake, bro.
I eat humans like you
for an after-dinner snack.
Wait.
You mean humans like me?
Aah. A robot.
[ALL SCREAM]
Ha ha ha.
That's right.
Blaah. Blaah.
Get the wallet.
Got it. Let's go.
Get to the kart.
There is no escape.
Guards, seize them.
Do we have to seize them?
They have a robot,
and that's just, like, "Ew."
Just shoot them.
Fire. More. More.
Keep shooting.
Wait. Less. Less.
Actually,
maybe stop altogether.
We got your wallet.
What took you? Waiter.
I am still not a waiter.
Well, whatever you are,
payment has arrived.
About time.
Force field removed.
Finally. Ha.
A little respect.
Now let me just pay
the stupid bill
and get out of--
Huh. Okay.
New mission.
I need you guys
to go to my bank
on the wasp planet
and take out some--
[ALL GROAN]
They're super-chill. I swear.
Aw, come on.
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]