Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 8, Episode 3 - Welcome to Space - full transcript
The guys get rescued, but Benson desperately wants to get back
[ALL GROANING]
Hah. Looks like the newbies
can't handle lightspeed.
Allow me to introduce you
to my compatriots.
Toothpick Sally. Recap Robot.
Hello. Hi.
And yours truly--
Chance Sureshot.
[STAMMERS]
[CLANK]
Huh. We're here.
ALL: Whoa.
CHANCE:
That's the Space Tree.
Home.
ALL: Whoa.
RIGBY: Check out
all the other domes.
MAN: You left
these new recruits
drifting for how long?
CHANCE:
Uh... maybe two days?
Two days?
If you were on time,
maybe they wouldn't have been
boarded by Reaper-bots.
Real rookie manoeuvre,
Sureshot.
Now get down
and give me 300,
you miserable
sack of space puke.
Eh, yes, sir.
[CLEARS THROAT]
As for the rest of you,
welcome to space.
I'm Colonel Rawls.
Insert pleasantries here.
Hi. Benson here.
Quick question.
What is going on?
MAN: Congrats, new domers.
You have been selected
to take part in the
next frontier in recreation.
The Spark Initiative.
Spark. Space park.
Shh.
Our operatives on Earth
determined you would be
a good fit
for this mission.
Over the next few months,
this space station
will be your home.
You'll train with the best
from around the world.
Then you'll be
sent off on your own
to explore
pristine space wilderness
so that this can become this.
After that,
you'll go to the ... system
where you'll protect ...
as you arrive at ...
Heh heh. Uh,
that's classified for now.
So, who's jazzed about this?
[ALL CHEERING]
I see one guy
who isn't jazzed.
So we're being forced
to do this?
Well, this is
purely a volunteer mission
to benefit mankind.
Well, I don't volunteer.
That's different.
Why can't Benson see that
this is gonna be really cool?
He's afraid
to try something new.
The park wouldn't be the same
without him.
We got to get him onboard.
And this here's
the barracks.
Cool. Bunk beds.
Benson, check it out.
Cool pillows.
Those pillows
are not cool at all
and neither is space.
Actually, Benson,
I hate to disagree,
but living in space
is the definition of cool.
I mean, I just got goose bumps
saying that.
Um, again, basically kidnapped
and forced to do this.
What's the matter, Benson?
You can have top bunk.
Oh, ho, the top bunk.
Now I definitely
want to stay in space.
Muscleman,
what about Starla?
Starla would be proud.
Besides, I know our love
will stand the test of time.
Well, Fives, what about Celia?
Ditto.
I can't believe you people.
Those scientists lied to us.
Mr. Maellard lied to us.
Ahh. I want to go home.
This is gonna be
harder than we thought.
Thank you all for joining me
on this tour.
If you look to your left,
you'll find
the Jamaican domers
doing a little
target practice.
ALL: Whoa.
Benson, did you see
how cool that was?
Can you believe
we get to use these things?
Yeah, that's not
a safety hazard.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
[BOTH GASP AND COUGH]
And in the simulation room,
we can program
any scenario
to prepare you for what
you might encounter in space.
That's pretty wild,
huh, Benson?
Any scenario
you might encounter.
Think of
the possibilities.
The only scenario
I want to encounter
is me going back to
my apartment.
And finally,
this is the food court.
Domers and pilots alike
come here to hang out
and swap stories.
MORDECAI:
Hey, Benson, check it out.
All-you-can-eat wings.
Yeah, they had that
back on Earth.
And they're
probably better, too.
Here's your new jumpsuits.
They got your names on them.
Pretty cool, right?
No, not cool.
Harsh.
You should keep this, anyway.
I'm not staying.
Cha. You still don't get it.
You don't think this mission
is important.
Well, fine. We don't need you.
All that matters
is that we have a team
that wants to be here.
This seems like
a pretty important mission.
You don't want to
experience that?
Come on, Benson,
just stay with us.
I can't believe
you are all fine with this.
Ach, I mean,
if this is a peaceful mission,
why do we have to practice
using weapons?
Why did I have to wear
that fax machine like a jerk
if you didn't have
anything important for me to do?
I had a good life,
and then you had to drag us
up here.
No more questions.
That's an order.
Why would I listen to you?
I'm the Park Manager.
Well, I'm the colonel,
which is about 100 positions
higher than you.
[ALL GASP]
Are you done?
Oh, I'm done.
I'm done with all of this.
Then go, then.
We can get a pod back to Earth
for you, quitter.
Sounds great. I'm out.
Shoot.
I thought for sure
that reverse psychology
was gonna work.
Hey, man,
that was messed up.
You can't do that
to our boss.
You guys better get Benson
onboard.
I think I've got one more idea
that can get him to stay.
You can't be serious, Benson.
You're really gonna
give up now?
I've been telling you guys
for the past two hours
you're not gonna
change my mind.
As soon as I finish
this space panini,
I'm outta here.
There. I'm done.
If you really
want to go,
I guess
we can't stop you, but...
you should at least
watch this before you leave.
We all
put this video together.
We think it might
change your mind about staying.
How did you make this?
Don't you remember
that really cool editing bay
we saw on the tour?
There were so many VCRs.
[SIGHS]
I know what this is.
It's a tape
full of sappy memories
that are supposed to
convince me to stay,
show me where I belong.
Well, it won't work.
No. Benson, wait.
You're making a mistake.
[COUGHING]
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
MAN: Sir. Sir.
Are you responsible
for the park disappearing?
No. I-I--
How do you plan
to reimburse the city
for all the damages?
What? Uh...
Sir, what is space food like?
Do you take it orally or--
Get away from me.
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
Why isn't my key working?
Why, that apartment's
been vacant for 30 years.
30 years? But I've only
been gone for two days.
Sorry, did I say years?
I meant hours. 30 hours.
We all saw the news
and assumed
you were in space for good.
There's some
fresh, new college students
living in there.
[ALL LAUGHING AND CHEERING]
Ha ha ha ha.
We just drew your face
on this dude's gut.
Yeah.
You look like a loser.
[SIGHS]
[♪♪♪]
Hey, Benson.
Um, we get why
you want to go back to Earth,
but I'm not sure
we were really upfront
about why we wanted you
to stay.
It just wouldn't be the same
without you.
I won't be able to
keep up with work
without you
breathing down my neck.
And who am I gonna have
wing-eating contests with, huh?
I've always appreciated
your no-nonsense attitude
and dedication to your work.
It's really inspiring.
Hey, Benson.
I don't know you very well,
but I do know
you mean a lot to these guys.
And I'd like a chance
to get to know you better, too.
You do have the best chance
of keeping Rigby
from blowing something up.
It's true. I already broke
the first camera
we tried to record this with.
We all really look up to you,
but also, you're our friend,
and we'll miss you a lot and--
All right, you get it.
We'll miss you, so...
don't go, all right?
Yeah, Benson.
We can't do this without you.
I made a huge mistake.
I should've stayed in space.
[SCREAMING]
Yaah. I shouldn't have left.
I shouldn't have left.
I shouldn't have left.
Aah.
Benson, are you okay?
Ahh, you're all here.
You're so young.
So this is what it's like
on the other side.
On the other side
of the door?
What? No.
I was on Earth... for years.
Actually, you went into
the holo-simulator.
Well, it won't work.
No. Benson, wait.
You're making a mistake.
I should've
stayed in space.
EILEEN: You just walked through
the wrong door.
Oh.
Seems like
a huge design flaw
to have those rooms
next to each other.
Man, life on Earth
without you guys
was pretty terrible.
So maybe I don't know
what's gonna happen
or what everything means,
but as long as we're together,
that's enough for me.
You know, Benson, there may be
a lot of new stuff going on,
but we're all the same.
The park's still the park,
and you're still our boss.
Thanks, everyone.
[DOOR OPENS]
Is he in?
Sounds like he's in.
Welcome to space, everybody.
ALL: Whoo!
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Hah. Looks like the newbies
can't handle lightspeed.
Allow me to introduce you
to my compatriots.
Toothpick Sally. Recap Robot.
Hello. Hi.
And yours truly--
Chance Sureshot.
[STAMMERS]
[CLANK]
Huh. We're here.
ALL: Whoa.
CHANCE:
That's the Space Tree.
Home.
ALL: Whoa.
RIGBY: Check out
all the other domes.
MAN: You left
these new recruits
drifting for how long?
CHANCE:
Uh... maybe two days?
Two days?
If you were on time,
maybe they wouldn't have been
boarded by Reaper-bots.
Real rookie manoeuvre,
Sureshot.
Now get down
and give me 300,
you miserable
sack of space puke.
Eh, yes, sir.
[CLEARS THROAT]
As for the rest of you,
welcome to space.
I'm Colonel Rawls.
Insert pleasantries here.
Hi. Benson here.
Quick question.
What is going on?
MAN: Congrats, new domers.
You have been selected
to take part in the
next frontier in recreation.
The Spark Initiative.
Spark. Space park.
Shh.
Our operatives on Earth
determined you would be
a good fit
for this mission.
Over the next few months,
this space station
will be your home.
You'll train with the best
from around the world.
Then you'll be
sent off on your own
to explore
pristine space wilderness
so that this can become this.
After that,
you'll go to the ... system
where you'll protect ...
as you arrive at ...
Heh heh. Uh,
that's classified for now.
So, who's jazzed about this?
[ALL CHEERING]
I see one guy
who isn't jazzed.
So we're being forced
to do this?
Well, this is
purely a volunteer mission
to benefit mankind.
Well, I don't volunteer.
That's different.
Why can't Benson see that
this is gonna be really cool?
He's afraid
to try something new.
The park wouldn't be the same
without him.
We got to get him onboard.
And this here's
the barracks.
Cool. Bunk beds.
Benson, check it out.
Cool pillows.
Those pillows
are not cool at all
and neither is space.
Actually, Benson,
I hate to disagree,
but living in space
is the definition of cool.
I mean, I just got goose bumps
saying that.
Um, again, basically kidnapped
and forced to do this.
What's the matter, Benson?
You can have top bunk.
Oh, ho, the top bunk.
Now I definitely
want to stay in space.
Muscleman,
what about Starla?
Starla would be proud.
Besides, I know our love
will stand the test of time.
Well, Fives, what about Celia?
Ditto.
I can't believe you people.
Those scientists lied to us.
Mr. Maellard lied to us.
Ahh. I want to go home.
This is gonna be
harder than we thought.
Thank you all for joining me
on this tour.
If you look to your left,
you'll find
the Jamaican domers
doing a little
target practice.
ALL: Whoa.
Benson, did you see
how cool that was?
Can you believe
we get to use these things?
Yeah, that's not
a safety hazard.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
[BOTH GASP AND COUGH]
And in the simulation room,
we can program
any scenario
to prepare you for what
you might encounter in space.
That's pretty wild,
huh, Benson?
Any scenario
you might encounter.
Think of
the possibilities.
The only scenario
I want to encounter
is me going back to
my apartment.
And finally,
this is the food court.
Domers and pilots alike
come here to hang out
and swap stories.
MORDECAI:
Hey, Benson, check it out.
All-you-can-eat wings.
Yeah, they had that
back on Earth.
And they're
probably better, too.
Here's your new jumpsuits.
They got your names on them.
Pretty cool, right?
No, not cool.
Harsh.
You should keep this, anyway.
I'm not staying.
Cha. You still don't get it.
You don't think this mission
is important.
Well, fine. We don't need you.
All that matters
is that we have a team
that wants to be here.
This seems like
a pretty important mission.
You don't want to
experience that?
Come on, Benson,
just stay with us.
I can't believe
you are all fine with this.
Ach, I mean,
if this is a peaceful mission,
why do we have to practice
using weapons?
Why did I have to wear
that fax machine like a jerk
if you didn't have
anything important for me to do?
I had a good life,
and then you had to drag us
up here.
No more questions.
That's an order.
Why would I listen to you?
I'm the Park Manager.
Well, I'm the colonel,
which is about 100 positions
higher than you.
[ALL GASP]
Are you done?
Oh, I'm done.
I'm done with all of this.
Then go, then.
We can get a pod back to Earth
for you, quitter.
Sounds great. I'm out.
Shoot.
I thought for sure
that reverse psychology
was gonna work.
Hey, man,
that was messed up.
You can't do that
to our boss.
You guys better get Benson
onboard.
I think I've got one more idea
that can get him to stay.
You can't be serious, Benson.
You're really gonna
give up now?
I've been telling you guys
for the past two hours
you're not gonna
change my mind.
As soon as I finish
this space panini,
I'm outta here.
There. I'm done.
If you really
want to go,
I guess
we can't stop you, but...
you should at least
watch this before you leave.
We all
put this video together.
We think it might
change your mind about staying.
How did you make this?
Don't you remember
that really cool editing bay
we saw on the tour?
There were so many VCRs.
[SIGHS]
I know what this is.
It's a tape
full of sappy memories
that are supposed to
convince me to stay,
show me where I belong.
Well, it won't work.
No. Benson, wait.
You're making a mistake.
[COUGHING]
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
MAN: Sir. Sir.
Are you responsible
for the park disappearing?
No. I-I--
How do you plan
to reimburse the city
for all the damages?
What? Uh...
Sir, what is space food like?
Do you take it orally or--
Get away from me.
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
Why isn't my key working?
Why, that apartment's
been vacant for 30 years.
30 years? But I've only
been gone for two days.
Sorry, did I say years?
I meant hours. 30 hours.
We all saw the news
and assumed
you were in space for good.
There's some
fresh, new college students
living in there.
[ALL LAUGHING AND CHEERING]
Ha ha ha ha.
We just drew your face
on this dude's gut.
Yeah.
You look like a loser.
[SIGHS]
[♪♪♪]
Hey, Benson.
Um, we get why
you want to go back to Earth,
but I'm not sure
we were really upfront
about why we wanted you
to stay.
It just wouldn't be the same
without you.
I won't be able to
keep up with work
without you
breathing down my neck.
And who am I gonna have
wing-eating contests with, huh?
I've always appreciated
your no-nonsense attitude
and dedication to your work.
It's really inspiring.
Hey, Benson.
I don't know you very well,
but I do know
you mean a lot to these guys.
And I'd like a chance
to get to know you better, too.
You do have the best chance
of keeping Rigby
from blowing something up.
It's true. I already broke
the first camera
we tried to record this with.
We all really look up to you,
but also, you're our friend,
and we'll miss you a lot and--
All right, you get it.
We'll miss you, so...
don't go, all right?
Yeah, Benson.
We can't do this without you.
I made a huge mistake.
I should've stayed in space.
[SCREAMING]
Yaah. I shouldn't have left.
I shouldn't have left.
I shouldn't have left.
Aah.
Benson, are you okay?
Ahh, you're all here.
You're so young.
So this is what it's like
on the other side.
On the other side
of the door?
What? No.
I was on Earth... for years.
Actually, you went into
the holo-simulator.
Well, it won't work.
No. Benson, wait.
You're making a mistake.
I should've
stayed in space.
EILEEN: You just walked through
the wrong door.
Oh.
Seems like
a huge design flaw
to have those rooms
next to each other.
Man, life on Earth
without you guys
was pretty terrible.
So maybe I don't know
what's gonna happen
or what everything means,
but as long as we're together,
that's enough for me.
You know, Benson, there may be
a lot of new stuff going on,
but we're all the same.
The park's still the park,
and you're still our boss.
Thanks, everyone.
[DOOR OPENS]
Is he in?
Sounds like he's in.
Welcome to space, everybody.
ALL: Whoo!
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]