Regular Show (2009–2017): Season 7, Episode 10 - Return of the Party Horse - full transcript
Mordecai and Rigby want to help Party Horse get back together with his girlfriend.
[♪♪♪]
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
We did it, dude!
We mowed the entire lawn
without taking a break.
You want to go
get lunch?
Aw, yeah, I do!
Nothing on Earth's gonna
stop us from getting lunch! Huh?
BOTH:
Party Horse!
BOTH [CHANTING]:
Party! Party!
Party! Party! Party! Pa--
BOTH:
Huh?
[SNIFFLES, CRYING]
Chrissy!
[GROANS]
Dude,
what happened to you?
Chrissy happened, man.
She dumped me.
She'll probably
never talk to me again.
That's rough, man.
What went wrong?
Ah, it's all
her dad's fault.
He's always telling her
my partying is "compulsive"
and that I'm a
"danger to myself and others."
I tried to talk
to my bros for advice,
but they taped me to a flagpole
and pulled my underwear down.
I came to Earth,
hoping you could help me.
BOTH:
Whoa!
Don't worry, dude. We'll help
you get your girlfriend back.
You will?
It's easy.
Get her something
nice to show her you care.
Yeah, man. The mall has
20 stores that only sell stuff
for guys who need to
apologize to girlfriends.
With our help, you'll be
back in the saddle in no time.
Dude, saddle jokes?
Not cool.
[♪♪♪]
Thanks a lot for your help.
Sorry you can't
go back to that mall.
You only ruined
seven stores with your partying.
Good luck.
Let us know how it goes.
Oh, you know I will!
[BOTH COUGHING]
Chrissy's gonna love
those presents.
Yeah! You can't go wrong with
jewelry, flowers and chocolate.
Every guy knows that.
Benson's gonna be mad
about this hole.
I'll get the shovels.
Ugh... And done.
Whew!
Now, like I was
saying about lunch,
nothing on Earth
is gonna --
[BOTH GASP]
Dudes! Chrissy did
not like the presents!
But you can't go wrong with
jewelry, flowers and chocolate.
I repeat: the presents
were a major fail.
She said that's just
what guys think girls want,
and I was thinking about
some generic idea of a girl
and not her specifically.
Whoa.
That's so complicated.
After Chrissy negged
on your prezzos,
I made her a mixtape
of dope party jams
called "Bass in Your Face,"
and that was a bust too.
But that sounds
like a good mix.
No duh! Ugh!
Sorry, buddy.
We need
a female perspective
if we're gonna crack this nut
you call Chrissy.
EILEEN:
Let me get this straight.
You're a horse
from another planet,
and you need help
to get your girlfriend back.
Yes.
Have you tried talking to her?
Just being real?
Real?
I'm the realest there is.
Check this out.
[GRUNTING]
Boom! That's real.
Um, let's try
some role-play, maybe?
Okay.
Margaret, you be Chrissy.
Party Horse, you be you.
And...go!
Don't do me like this, Chrissy!
we're a perfect match!
With those abs
and these abs,
we're the hottest couple
on Party Horse Planet.
First of all, wow.
But maybe you could focus
on something besides her looks?
Hmm...
Well, she dedicates herself
to her interests.
I think that's cool.
And I like that she's into art.
Good. This is good.
And I guess there's the way
she elevates my very being
and makes me
want to be a better person.
Party Horse,
that was perfect!
Call Chrissy and tell her
exactly what you just said.
Or you could cry,
like Mordecai did after C.J. --
Ow!
Thanks, guys.
I'm gonna call her.
[PHONE DIALING]
Chrissy!
Party Horse, I'm sorry, but --
Wait. I have something
I need to say.
Chrissy, I think
you're really cool,
and your art skills,
they always amaze me.
You're like the Picasso of
drawing stuff on sleeping dudes.
Just give me one chance to prove
partying doesn't control me.
Let me take you out
for a quiet dinner.
No bass drops,
no heinous property damage,
just you and me
and our thoughts.
That's...actually
a really nice idea.
It is?
Okay, Party Horse.
One date... Tonight.
Last chance.
Yes!
You won't regret this!
Oop, call waiting.
One sec, babe.
Brah! lumberjack party
tonight at Chad's pad.
Rashad, Brad, and Tad
are going in matching plaid.
Dude, that sounds rad!
I'm in!
I know I said
no more parties tonight,
but there's a party tonight!
You blew it, Party Horse.
Goodbye.
Huh?
Oh, phew!
Chrissy, I thought y--
Principal Party Horse?
I told you
to stay away from my daughter.
If I see you again,
you're toast!
That guy doesn't like you, huh?
Unh!
Unh, it's not fair!
I didn't ask to be born
this way.
If only there were some way
to exhaust this
party star inside of me.
That's it, dude.
We gotta party
the party out of you.
And then you can
get Chrissy back.
Aw, yeah!
You gotta party so crazy,
you'll never
want to party again.
We're going
to Party Horse Planet!
ALL:
Whoo! Woo-hoo!
PARTY HORSE:
Whoo, whoo, whoo!
We'll see
you guys later.
[♪♪♪]
[ALL GROAN]
These pods really don't have
a way to land safely?
Nah, all the scientists
are too busy partying
to figure it out.
On Party Horse Planet,
there's a party on every block.
Party houses are indicated
on the map by a party hat.
We're gonna have
to hit them all
if there's any hope
of partying my party out.
Wow. You're so well-prepared
when it comes to parties.
This is just
the local newspaper.
I have terrible spatial skills,
so let's start here.
[TECHNO MUSIC BLARING]
Dudes! Welcome
to the Colonial America party.
Come inside
and get your Delaware on!
Whoo!
Amigos!
Cinco de Mayo
St. Patrick's Day fiesta!
Bros!
Welcome to my purple prom.
Rental tuxes in the back.
Opa! Tie-dye toga party!
Sandy bathing suit party!
Makeover madness party!
BOTH:
Family portrait fest!
Aerobics!
Lobster party here!
[HORSES NEIGH]
Ha, ha, ha! That was awesome!
Yeah. You get the party
out of you yet, Party Horse?
Aww, I still wanna party. Have
we done all the houses yet?
Uh, yeah, I think
that's all of them.
Uh, what about that one?
[♪♪♪]
Chrissy's house.
Come one, come all to
my epic back-to-school party.
Except students. Everyone
except students is invited.
You sure this is gonna work,
Reverse Psychology Horse?
But... Oh.
Yup. Going to that party
seems like a bad idea.
But maybe forbidden partying
at the home of my worst enemy
and ex-girlfriend
is the only way to get my
partying out once and for all.
[INHALES DEEPLY]
Chug some water, bros, 'cause we
got one more "hizouse" to hit!
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS,
MUSIC PLAYS]
PARTY HORSE:
A school theme?
I party to forget about school.
I don't know, you guys.
So far, I don't feel any diff--
Oh, no.
Well, well.
If it isn't...
Party Horse!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
What?
I did some thinking
after our last chat,
and I realized I was wrong.
All this time,
I've been trying to teach you
about knowledge
and responsibility,
when I should've been
letting you party.
I guess
what I'm trying to say is...
party on, Party Horse.
Party on.
Wow! Thanks,
Principal Party Horse.
And one word of advice
before I let you go...
Whatever you do, do not use
the Party Palace booth
I had set up
for this party.
Why not?
It's much too much party
for you, Party Horse.
It's the best party
in the universe...in a box.
Just thought I'd warn you.
Well, goodbye.
Dudes,
I'm so confused.
Go for it, man. Maybe this
is the last bit of partying
you need to get partying
out of your system.
I'll do it.
Aw, yeah!
Get ready for
the new me, Chrissy!
FEMALE ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Party Horse detected.
Initiating lockdown.
[LAUGHING]
The reverse psychology
worked perfectly!
I've finally trapped
Party Horse!
So, wait, Hold on.
I'm sorry.
Is there not a cool party
in this box?
You fool.
This isn't a party in a box.
It's a box that sucks the party
out of your bones...permanently!
[GASPS]
Prepare yourself,
Party Horse 42699.
Your party
is about to get pooped!
BOTH: Hunh!
Stop!
Dad! stop it!
No, Chrissy. If this is
what'll stop me from partying,
then I'll do it...for you.
But --
He said he'll do it!
[MOTOR WHIRRING]
[GASPS]
[SCREAMS]
CHRISSY:
Oh! Oh! Oh, I can't watch!
Party Horse 42699?
[WHIRRING STOPS]
[♪♪♪]
I...like eating sandwiches...
and...fantasy football.
BOTH: Ew!
Uh... What?
At last! I've done it!
I've broken Party Horse!
Well done,
Principal Party Horse, sir.
Is this what
you wanted, Chrissy?
No! I've been trying
to tell you all along,
but you never chilled out
long enough to listen!
I just wanted you
to take it down a notch.
That's all?
Well, I can do that.
Change him back, Daddy!
Drink up, babe.
Come on!
Here you go, babe.
I'm taking it down a notch
for you.
Oh, babe!
Party Horse
is back in business!
Heh, he sure is.
BOTH:
Whoa!
[GROANS]
It is about
the long game, hmm?
Thanks for all your help, guys.
You have a lifelong invitation
to party with me
and my girlfriend.
Heh-heh.
Aw, hee-hee.
I'm good.
That's all right.
[GRUNTS, SIGHS]
There's nothing --
[GASPS]
[GROANS]
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
We did it, dude!
We mowed the entire lawn
without taking a break.
You want to go
get lunch?
Aw, yeah, I do!
Nothing on Earth's gonna
stop us from getting lunch! Huh?
BOTH:
Party Horse!
BOTH [CHANTING]:
Party! Party!
Party! Party! Party! Pa--
BOTH:
Huh?
[SNIFFLES, CRYING]
Chrissy!
[GROANS]
Dude,
what happened to you?
Chrissy happened, man.
She dumped me.
She'll probably
never talk to me again.
That's rough, man.
What went wrong?
Ah, it's all
her dad's fault.
He's always telling her
my partying is "compulsive"
and that I'm a
"danger to myself and others."
I tried to talk
to my bros for advice,
but they taped me to a flagpole
and pulled my underwear down.
I came to Earth,
hoping you could help me.
BOTH:
Whoa!
Don't worry, dude. We'll help
you get your girlfriend back.
You will?
It's easy.
Get her something
nice to show her you care.
Yeah, man. The mall has
20 stores that only sell stuff
for guys who need to
apologize to girlfriends.
With our help, you'll be
back in the saddle in no time.
Dude, saddle jokes?
Not cool.
[♪♪♪]
Thanks a lot for your help.
Sorry you can't
go back to that mall.
You only ruined
seven stores with your partying.
Good luck.
Let us know how it goes.
Oh, you know I will!
[BOTH COUGHING]
Chrissy's gonna love
those presents.
Yeah! You can't go wrong with
jewelry, flowers and chocolate.
Every guy knows that.
Benson's gonna be mad
about this hole.
I'll get the shovels.
Ugh... And done.
Whew!
Now, like I was
saying about lunch,
nothing on Earth
is gonna --
[BOTH GASP]
Dudes! Chrissy did
not like the presents!
But you can't go wrong with
jewelry, flowers and chocolate.
I repeat: the presents
were a major fail.
She said that's just
what guys think girls want,
and I was thinking about
some generic idea of a girl
and not her specifically.
Whoa.
That's so complicated.
After Chrissy negged
on your prezzos,
I made her a mixtape
of dope party jams
called "Bass in Your Face,"
and that was a bust too.
But that sounds
like a good mix.
No duh! Ugh!
Sorry, buddy.
We need
a female perspective
if we're gonna crack this nut
you call Chrissy.
EILEEN:
Let me get this straight.
You're a horse
from another planet,
and you need help
to get your girlfriend back.
Yes.
Have you tried talking to her?
Just being real?
Real?
I'm the realest there is.
Check this out.
[GRUNTING]
Boom! That's real.
Um, let's try
some role-play, maybe?
Okay.
Margaret, you be Chrissy.
Party Horse, you be you.
And...go!
Don't do me like this, Chrissy!
we're a perfect match!
With those abs
and these abs,
we're the hottest couple
on Party Horse Planet.
First of all, wow.
But maybe you could focus
on something besides her looks?
Hmm...
Well, she dedicates herself
to her interests.
I think that's cool.
And I like that she's into art.
Good. This is good.
And I guess there's the way
she elevates my very being
and makes me
want to be a better person.
Party Horse,
that was perfect!
Call Chrissy and tell her
exactly what you just said.
Or you could cry,
like Mordecai did after C.J. --
Ow!
Thanks, guys.
I'm gonna call her.
[PHONE DIALING]
Chrissy!
Party Horse, I'm sorry, but --
Wait. I have something
I need to say.
Chrissy, I think
you're really cool,
and your art skills,
they always amaze me.
You're like the Picasso of
drawing stuff on sleeping dudes.
Just give me one chance to prove
partying doesn't control me.
Let me take you out
for a quiet dinner.
No bass drops,
no heinous property damage,
just you and me
and our thoughts.
That's...actually
a really nice idea.
It is?
Okay, Party Horse.
One date... Tonight.
Last chance.
Yes!
You won't regret this!
Oop, call waiting.
One sec, babe.
Brah! lumberjack party
tonight at Chad's pad.
Rashad, Brad, and Tad
are going in matching plaid.
Dude, that sounds rad!
I'm in!
I know I said
no more parties tonight,
but there's a party tonight!
You blew it, Party Horse.
Goodbye.
Huh?
Oh, phew!
Chrissy, I thought y--
Principal Party Horse?
I told you
to stay away from my daughter.
If I see you again,
you're toast!
That guy doesn't like you, huh?
Unh!
Unh, it's not fair!
I didn't ask to be born
this way.
If only there were some way
to exhaust this
party star inside of me.
That's it, dude.
We gotta party
the party out of you.
And then you can
get Chrissy back.
Aw, yeah!
You gotta party so crazy,
you'll never
want to party again.
We're going
to Party Horse Planet!
ALL:
Whoo! Woo-hoo!
PARTY HORSE:
Whoo, whoo, whoo!
We'll see
you guys later.
[♪♪♪]
[ALL GROAN]
These pods really don't have
a way to land safely?
Nah, all the scientists
are too busy partying
to figure it out.
On Party Horse Planet,
there's a party on every block.
Party houses are indicated
on the map by a party hat.
We're gonna have
to hit them all
if there's any hope
of partying my party out.
Wow. You're so well-prepared
when it comes to parties.
This is just
the local newspaper.
I have terrible spatial skills,
so let's start here.
[TECHNO MUSIC BLARING]
Dudes! Welcome
to the Colonial America party.
Come inside
and get your Delaware on!
Whoo!
Amigos!
Cinco de Mayo
St. Patrick's Day fiesta!
Bros!
Welcome to my purple prom.
Rental tuxes in the back.
Opa! Tie-dye toga party!
Sandy bathing suit party!
Makeover madness party!
BOTH:
Family portrait fest!
Aerobics!
Lobster party here!
[HORSES NEIGH]
Ha, ha, ha! That was awesome!
Yeah. You get the party
out of you yet, Party Horse?
Aww, I still wanna party. Have
we done all the houses yet?
Uh, yeah, I think
that's all of them.
Uh, what about that one?
[♪♪♪]
Chrissy's house.
Come one, come all to
my epic back-to-school party.
Except students. Everyone
except students is invited.
You sure this is gonna work,
Reverse Psychology Horse?
But... Oh.
Yup. Going to that party
seems like a bad idea.
But maybe forbidden partying
at the home of my worst enemy
and ex-girlfriend
is the only way to get my
partying out once and for all.
[INHALES DEEPLY]
Chug some water, bros, 'cause we
got one more "hizouse" to hit!
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS,
MUSIC PLAYS]
PARTY HORSE:
A school theme?
I party to forget about school.
I don't know, you guys.
So far, I don't feel any diff--
Oh, no.
Well, well.
If it isn't...
Party Horse!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
What?
I did some thinking
after our last chat,
and I realized I was wrong.
All this time,
I've been trying to teach you
about knowledge
and responsibility,
when I should've been
letting you party.
I guess
what I'm trying to say is...
party on, Party Horse.
Party on.
Wow! Thanks,
Principal Party Horse.
And one word of advice
before I let you go...
Whatever you do, do not use
the Party Palace booth
I had set up
for this party.
Why not?
It's much too much party
for you, Party Horse.
It's the best party
in the universe...in a box.
Just thought I'd warn you.
Well, goodbye.
Dudes,
I'm so confused.
Go for it, man. Maybe this
is the last bit of partying
you need to get partying
out of your system.
I'll do it.
Aw, yeah!
Get ready for
the new me, Chrissy!
FEMALE ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Party Horse detected.
Initiating lockdown.
[LAUGHING]
The reverse psychology
worked perfectly!
I've finally trapped
Party Horse!
So, wait, Hold on.
I'm sorry.
Is there not a cool party
in this box?
You fool.
This isn't a party in a box.
It's a box that sucks the party
out of your bones...permanently!
[GASPS]
Prepare yourself,
Party Horse 42699.
Your party
is about to get pooped!
BOTH: Hunh!
Stop!
Dad! stop it!
No, Chrissy. If this is
what'll stop me from partying,
then I'll do it...for you.
But --
He said he'll do it!
[MOTOR WHIRRING]
[GASPS]
[SCREAMS]
CHRISSY:
Oh! Oh! Oh, I can't watch!
Party Horse 42699?
[WHIRRING STOPS]
[♪♪♪]
I...like eating sandwiches...
and...fantasy football.
BOTH: Ew!
Uh... What?
At last! I've done it!
I've broken Party Horse!
Well done,
Principal Party Horse, sir.
Is this what
you wanted, Chrissy?
No! I've been trying
to tell you all along,
but you never chilled out
long enough to listen!
I just wanted you
to take it down a notch.
That's all?
Well, I can do that.
Change him back, Daddy!
Drink up, babe.
Come on!
Here you go, babe.
I'm taking it down a notch
for you.
Oh, babe!
Party Horse
is back in business!
Heh, he sure is.
BOTH:
Whoa!
[GROANS]
It is about
the long game, hmm?
Thanks for all your help, guys.
You have a lifelong invitation
to party with me
and my girlfriend.
Heh-heh.
Aw, hee-hee.
I'm good.
That's all right.
[GRUNTS, SIGHS]
There's nothing --
[GASPS]
[GROANS]
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH CHUCKLING]