Red vs. Blue (2003–…): Season 10, Episode 1 - Red vs. Blue: Season 10 - full transcript
Witness the gripping and hilarious finale to the Project Freelancer saga, complete with newly animated battle sequences. The world's longest-running web series ever of all time, set in the universe of the enormously popular video game franchise Halo.
- [TV Announcer] And now the moment
you've all been waiting for
from the far distant system of Sanghelios.
I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly.
The bad boys of grifball.
Team (inaudible)
(cheers)
(yawns)
And your home planets favorites
(Static interference)
- [Delta] I hate to intrude,
but you have not performed any work
in the past 13 minutes and 42 seconds.
That strikes me as a rather inefficient.
- [Solider] Oh, sorry.
I was just trying to uh
yeah how do you get a new
window, you know, like,
the you know, like a new window.
What's the button thing
for that, you know?
- [Hologram,] I believe that the keys
you are looking for are alt tab.
- [Solider] Oh yeah, thanks little guy.
Wait, who are you?
You don't look like the
normal holo projection.
- [Hologram] That is because
I'm the AI designated as Delta
from Project Freelancer.
- Wait, you're Project Freelancer.
I mean aren't those the bad guys?
- There is no need for name calling.
I submit that Project
Freelancers neither good nor bad
much like your own forces.
We are merely two groups
dedicated to obtaining
different results.
- Whoa man.
That's, deep.
It's like, it's like,
there's different universes,
but you know there's
(chokes)
- [York] Don't encourage him.
He's already long-winded as it is.
(head slams)
Thank God.
Thought you two would never
stopped chit chatting.
- [Delta] I'm not sure that
was entirely necessary.
He seemed open to the
logic I presented him.
Perhaps he would have allowed
us to carry out our mission.
- [York] Sorry I knocked
out your new friend.
Now you two will never get
to have a beer together.
- [Delta] I believe that would've
been unlikely, regardless.
- [York] Showtime.
- [Director] Come in Agent York.
Are you in?
- Yes, sir.
These guys love their holographic locks.
I'll let Delta take a peek in their system
while I try to disable it manually.
You're up D.
- Curious.
- What's curious.
That's code for bad innit?
- I've detected an anomaly
inside of the system.
Something that is not
supposed to be there.
Diverting some routines to investigate it.
- Don't get too curious in there.
I need your attention on this lock.
- Do not worry Agent York.
I have already rectified several instances
where you would have
tripped the alarm system.
- [Solider] Oh my head wait, hold on.
Why, wait give me back my leprechaun.
(grunts)
- [Director] What was that Delta?
- [York] Nothing sir.
- [Director] Agent,
may I remind you that we
are running short on time.
- [Alarm System] Warning an alarm
has been remotely triggered.
- [York] What?
By who?
- [Director] They knew we were coming
Agent York, abort intrusion immediately,
we're moving to more direct measures.
- [York] Wait, wait, wait.
I can do this, I can do this.
Just give me a moment, sir.
- [FILSS] System online director
awaiting your command
- I agree with the director
I have yet to see you successfully
open a lock in the field and this alarm
will only hender your progress.
- [York] Okay now don't
you start in on me too.
You've been talking to
Wash again haven't you.
- [Director] Agent York we are
out of time, I repeat abort.
- [Alarm System] Target locked.
- [York] Um, What target is locked?
What's the target?
Delta, what are they doing?
- [Delta] Taking more direct measures
- [York] You knew a bout this?
- [Delta] Possibly.
- [York] Why you green little cocksuck
whoa!
Whoa!
Holy shit.
♪ Better grab the gats ♪
♪ Or it's curtains for the masses ♪
♪ Need everybody all in ♪
♪ You hear me dog, fall in ♪
♪ Lock cop, ready to
rock, with no stallin' ♪
♪ I see anybody playin'
games, fallin' back ♪
♪ I'll put the first bullet
in you myself, believe that ♪
- [Church] Agent Carolina?
What are you doing here?
- [Carolina] I need your help.
I'm tracking the director
of Project Freelancer.
And you're my best bet for figuring out
what hole he's hiding.
- [Sarge] Hole, ey?
You know our buddy Donut was
always talking about his holes.
- [Curch] Sarge.
- [Sarge] Constantly trying to get people
to look at em and whatnot.
- [Church] Come on, Sarge.
He's dead now.
He was shot, remember?
- [Sarge] Oh right.
Probably has a few more holes then huh?
(Sarge chuckles)
What, too soon?
- [Church] What's the
appropriate amount of time
that can go by for that joke to be okay.
- [Sarge] Ah, whatever you big blue baby.
- [Church] Shut up, Sarge.
What are you doing alive Carolina?
You're supposed to be dead.
This is impossible.
- [Sarge] That's a funny
thing to say for a guy
who's literally a ghost.
- [Caboose] Uh, yeah
actually he's not a ghost.
He's a computer program.
He gets holographically
projected on our armor
When he wants to talk to us.
- [Sarge] Saz my graphic
computer programs.
Caboose, you say the
craziest things sometimes.
What an imagination on you.
- [Caboose] Yeah I don't
know that first word means
but it's sounds the same.
I will allow it.
- [Wash] Hey, how are we doing in here?
- [Church] Wash?
- [Wash] You got Epsilon out?
Good.
We can't hold them off much longer.
They're not too happy
about us breaking in.
- [Carolina] Let me see
what I can do to help that.
- [Wash] Same old Carolina.
I guess coming back from the
dead doesn't change anybody.
- [Church] Washington?
Why are you wearing blue armor?
Why are you wearing my armor?
- [Wash] Oh, um.
- [Caboose] Oh, yeah, yeah.
- [Wash] They sort of used me
to replace you on blue team.
- [Church] Replace me?
- [Caboose] I wouldn't
really use the word replace,
but there's a word for take over for you
and make everything
better almost immediately.
So we just say replaced.
- [Church] When did this happen?
- [Caboose] Oh, do you remember
when you went into the memory unit
and then everyone was sad?
- [Church] Yeah.
- [Caboose] It was right after that.
- [Church] Right after I left?
- [Caboose] Well, it wasn't
right after, you know,
but you know, it was
like five or 10 seconds.
- [Church] You've got to be kidding me.
- [Caboose] Life is short Epsilon.
We had to move on.
- [Church] I think I just
got dumped by Caboose.
This un-fucking-believable.
- [Caboose] Yeah it's, it's not me.
It's you.
- [Wash] Epsilon, they just
needed to even the teams.
It's really not
- [Church] Hey, would you
guys stop calling me Epsilon?
I'm Church now.
- [Caboose] Oh, uh, we sort
of called a new guy church.
You know, sometimes.
- [Church] What?
- [Wash] Caboose just finds it easier.
The armor color confuses him,
as do a lot of things.
- [Church] Let me get this
straight, Agent Washington.
You took my name too?
- [Wash] It's only in
certain circumstances.
- [Caboose] Like when we talk to him.
Or need to fill out paperwork.
Or sing Happy Birthday to him.
- [Church] You gotta
be fucking kidding me.
- [Sarge] Well, this was awkward.
You know I think the quickest solution
would be a good ol'
fashioned dig of the rigs
with my trusty shotgun, any takers?
- [Wash] We're fine.
- [Sarge] Well, it was worth a shot.
You win this round blue, but I'll be back.
Actually, this guy's been kicking our ass.
I'm kind of glad to have you back,
sure will be nice to have an idiot
in Georgia blue team again.
- [Church] Thanks.
It's great to be needed.
- [Carolina] Everyone
front and center now.
(suspenseful music begins)
(rockets whooshing)
(engine roaring)
- [Counselor] Sir, enemy
fighters approaching.
- Fire at will Counselor.
Let's send them back to the scrapyard.
(engines roaring)
(music intensifies)
- [Counselor] It appears
we are now taking fire.
- [Director] Release the drop ships.
Get the team in position.
(high intensity music continues)
- [Female Solider] Well that went to hell
quicker than we thought.
Out of the frying pan into the shit.
- [Carolina] We're going to
need a new insertion point.
York was supposed to open
the leader's hanger for us.
- [York] It wasn't my fault!
- [Female Solider] We'll have
to settle for the main hangar.
- [Carolina] Which one is that?
- [Female Solider] The
one with a shooty things
coming out at us.
(electronic firing)
- [Carolina] Never a dull moment, huh?
- [Female Solider] I'd
get your team ready.
We're going to come in hot.
(metal clanking)
- [Carolina] You heard her,
we're going for the main hangar.
Be ready for anything.
- [North] So much for a smooth ride.
- [South] What's the matter?
Feeling sick?
- [North] Hey I'm not the
one that needed a bark bag
on all our family trips.
- [Wash] How are you feeling?
Are you up to this?
- [Carolina] Say what
you want to say Wash.
- [Wash] It's just giving
up your AI was a big deal.
I thought maybe
- [Carolina] I'll be fine.
Worry about yourself.
- [Texas] You're awfully quiet.
- [CT] Oh, just trying to prepare myself.
- [Texas] Hey, worst comes to worst.
We'll just get kicked off the leaderboard.
At least us ladies will be
sticking together, right?
Dammit, god.
Opening rear bay!
(metal clanking)
(door opening)
- [Carolina] Right, altogether.
Use your pack sparingly.
Course correction only.
You don't want to end up like Georgia.
- [Wash] Wait, what happened to Georgia?
- [South] Nobody knows,
they never found him.
- [Wash] Are you sure
these things are safe?
- [Carolina] Now!
(air whooshing)
- [Solider 1] Battle
stations, we're under attack!
- [Solider 2] No shit we're under attack.
What do you think we're doing?
Rolling out the red carpet?
- [Solider 1] No ass face, look.
- [Solider 2] Ah Hell.
(gunshots)
Not again.
Sorry about that.
(gunshot)
(rapid gunfire)
(metal slicing)
(soldiers crying out and grunting)
(gunfire continues)
- [York] Okay, where's
that security override?
Come on.
Dammit.
Uh-oh, that's not good.
Hey guys, things might
get a little, floaty.
- [Soldiers] What the?
(clamoring)
- [York] Everyone enable grab boots.
(gunfire continues)
Okay, okay.
I got it, I got it.
Oh man.
Why do cars hate me?
(metal grinding)
- [Carolina] They know we're inside.
Wash, North secure that hallway.
South, see if you can access
the leader's location.
We don't leave without him.
- [South] Got it, I'm already on it.
- [Carolina] CT give me,
where the hell is CT?
(jet-pack engines roaring)
(suspenseful music)
- [Solider] Intruder, get him!
(gunfire)
- [Leader] stand down.
(grunting)
- [CT] You didn't wait for me to start?
I'm hurt.
- [Leader] I was worried about you.
Didn't think you'd be able to get away.
- [CT] You don't know the half of it.
They stepped up production.
Here.
This ship was captured by the enemy.
I'm surprised there's anything
left in the data banks.
- [Leader] Heh, not
everyone follows protocol.
You should know that better than anyone.
- [CT] You really think
they found another artifact?
How could nobody have
discovered that when they were
processing the wreckage?
- [Leader] They didn't know where to look
and they didn't have what you have.
- [Solider] Sir.
We're in position, awaiting your signal.
- [Carolina] Wash, take that right side.
(groans)
- [Wash] Where's everyone else?
- [Carolina] Working
on an extraction plan.
They should be here right about.
- [Grif] Woo-hoo!
(groaning)
(joyful mariachi music)
- [Carolina] Now.
- [Grif] Sup.
- [Sarge] Damn you Private Grif,
you took out those two soldiers
before I could administer
my lethal brand of red justice.
Now where's Simmons?
- [Grif] I don't know.
We found another warthog
and he was right behind me.
(classical music)
- [Simmons] Present
- [Grif] Wow, nice entrance dude.
Very thrilling.
- [Simmons] Hey, I don't
need all that flash.
Some of us have respect
for the fundamental.
- [Grif] Hey, what did I tell you before?
You know you're not allowed to use words
that have the term fun in them.
- [Tucker] I'm riding with you next time.
He actually stopped at the train tracks.
- [Simmons] That's the law.
- [Tucker] We were under fire.
- [Simmons] It's still the law.
- [Sarge] Simmons, only you could manage
to make a high speed chase boring.
- [Simmons] Thank you, sir.
- [Grif] What's that song?
- [Simmons] Uh, it's a
Bolivian orchestra mashup.
Obviously you haven't heard of them yet.
- [Grif] Thank God for that.
- [Church] I still don't understand.
Why did you guys rescue me?
- [Sarge] Don't blame us,
blame Mrs. Fussy Britches.
- [Caboose] Yeah, actually
it's Ms. Fussy Britches.
She gets really mad when you say it wrong.
- [Sarge] She wanted to get you
out of that memory what's it.
Something about you being a geneticified
and mental imprint of
ma-call-it of that professor
what's his puss.
- [Church] Can somebody translate that?
I don't speak huckleberry.
- [Caboose] Yeah the mean lady
wants to find the director
and since you have all his memories.
You might know where he went.
- [Church] Wow that
actually seemed too correct
for you Caboose.
There must've been some part of that
that you didn't understand.
- [Caboose] And when she finds him,
we're going to throw him
a very big surprise party.
- [Church] Ah, there we go.
- [Sarge] Sure, as long
as surprise party means
shooting him in the face
and then walking away in slow motion.
- [Caboose] Surprise!
- [Church] Well, you know,
I hate to break it to you,
but I don't know how much
help I'm going to be.
I mean, I may have the
director's memories,
but that doesn't mean I remember them.
- [Caboose] Yeah, I have the same problem.
I barely remember any of my own memories.
And none of anyone else's.
- [Sarge] Well you better
start remembering blue.
I had to watch Grif nearly
die three times today.
It's like fate was laughing at me.
Why don't you just take him already?
- [Church] I gotta say,
I'm pretty surprised
to see you taking orders
from a blue, Sarge.
- [Sarge] Hmph, under duress.
- [Church] What you didn't want to come?
- [Sarge] Let's just say you
seem to know a lot of women
with quick tempers.
You got a fetish or something?
- [Church] I guess you
could say, yeah apparently.
- [Sarge] Wanna talk about it?
- [Church] No.
- Wanna talk about it with
- No.
- [Carolina] Okay, everyone load up.
Map points are in your HUD's.
Alternate maps uploaded to
your secondary objectives.
Sync.
Sync?
- [Wash] Oh right, everyone just say sync
whenever she says that.
- [Simmons] Oh, sink?
- [Caboose] Refrigerator.
- [Carolina] You guys not
used to getting orders?
- [Grif] Oh we're used to
getting them all right.
We just aren't used to
doing much with them.
- [Carolina] We're retreating.
- [Simmons] Oh, okay, yeah.
That's usually step one in
most of our plans, sync.
- [Caboose] Easy bake oven.
- [Carolina] Let's just go.
(suspenseful music)
- [Carolina] What do you
mean, the leader's not here?
- [South] Exactly what I said.
His last check-in is
upstairs in the main deck.
But his call sign just appeared
in their internal frequencies.
He's broadcasting from out in Bone Valley.
- [Carolina] Meaning he's not here?
- [South] Gee, you're starting to sound
like a broken record.
- [Carolina] Fine.
Change of plans, everyone.
We're heading into the junkyard.
This is beginning to feel
more and more like a set up.
(yells and crashes)
- [York] You would not believe
the time I had getting back.
Its nuts out there.
- [Carolina] Let's go people.
- [York] What, no welcome back?
- [North] All right, welcome back.
- [York] Where they
off to in such a hurry?
- [Wash] Found the leader,
he's hiding out in Bone Valley.
- [York] We're going
all the way over there?
After what happened to Georgia?
- [Wash] Would someone please
tell me what happened to Georgia?
- [York] Dude, you do not want to know.
- [Wash] I really do though.
(suspenseful music)
- [Leader] Time to get out of here.
You too.
- [CT] I can't, not yet.
- [Leader] If they
weren't on to you before,
they definitely will be now.
Come with us, Connie.
I'm not going to lose you over this.
- [Solider] All forces we are go
I repeat, we are go.
(playful guitar music)
- [Carolina] What's going on?
Why are we stopping?
- [Grif] We've been driving for hours.
- [Carolina] And we've got
a lot more ground to cover.
So let's keep moving.
- [Grif] Listen, lady.
I know this is your
first road trip with us,
but we've got a system
and that system includes
snack breaks, bathroom breaks,
and stopping to take
pictures of funny road signs.
- [Carolina] That's ridiculous.
- [Grif] Not as ridiculous
as Bonar street.
- [Simmons] So close dude, so close.
- [Grif] It's out there, Simmons.
We just have to have
faith that we'll find it.
- [Wash] I should probably go stop her
from killing your friend.
- [Caboose] Uh, Tucker I
just noticed something.
Something really bad.
- [Tucker] Yeah me too, dude.
I think our guy to girl ratio
peaked like five years ago.
- [Caboose] Uh, no no Tucker um,
yeah we forgot to bring church.
- [Tucker] Wait, did you just now realize
that church isn't here?
- [Caboose] He is not going
to be pleased about this one.
- [Tucker] Calm down moron.
We didn't leave him behind.
- [Caboose] Ah, yes but you
see, I'm not seeing him.
So where is he.
- [Church] Ugh, you don't want to know.
- [Caboose] Church, you're
you're so small.
I would like to feed you a small cracker.
- [Tucker] How you liking
the new place Tinkerbell?
- [Church] You mean your
disgusting storage unit?
- [Tucker] What?
How is my storage unit disgusting?
- [Church] Well, for starters,
I had to delete 50 gigs
worth of crap just so I
get fit in this thing.
- [Tucker] Whoa, hang on a second, dude.
You didn't delete my home
movies folder, did you?
- [Church] And that brings
me to my second point.
- [Carolina] What a bunch
of worthless idiots.
- [Wash] Yeah, they're idiots,
but they're not that bad.
Once you get to know them.
- [Carolina] Hmm.
- [Wash] You know,
we almost managed to trap the Meta
the last time we were here.
- [Carolina] But you didn't.
- [Wash] No, I guess not.
(suspenseful music)
- [Carolina] I don't get it.
Everything stopped.
- [North] Maybe they're retreating.
- [York] Nothing left out here,
but a bunch of junk.
(engine whoosh)
(electronic beeping)
- [479er] This is 479er,
I've lost visual on targets.
It's like they all just left.
- [Counselor] Sir
Their outpost is disabled and
it looks as if we have driven
off the remaining fighters.
- [Director] Well, good riddance
to bad rubbish Counselor.
- [Counselor] Indeed, sir.
All enemy systems appear to be offline.
Wait.
- [Director] What is it?
(high intensity music begins)
- [479er] It's a trap, they're
hiding in the junkyard.
Repeat it's a trap.
- [Director] Evasive maneuvers.
- [Leader] Fire.
(turrets firing)
- [Director] Son of a
(gunfire)
(tense music continues)
(alarms blaring)
No!
- [Enemy Solider] Where away sir?
New course laid in.
Are you sure you don't want
to stay and finish this?
- [Leader] I left our guests a present.
(electronic rhythmic beeping)
- [South] Guys get out of there.
They've outfitted that
piece of junk with nukes!
- [Director] Fall back Counselor.
- [Counselor] Falling back Director.
- [South] Go, go, go!
Get inside now!
(engine whooshing)
(suspenseful music)
- [South] Wash, what are you doing?
Get in here, use your jet pack.
- [Wash] I don't wanna
end up like Georgia.
- [Carolina] Oh for God's sake.
(grunts)
(yelling)
(groaning)
(engine whooshing)
(rhythmic beeping)
(explosions)
- [479er] Everyone okay back there?
- [York] Never better, thanks for asking.
- [Director] What the
hell just happened people?
Tell me you accomplished your mission.
- [Carolina] Negative, sir.
Their leader escaped.
- [North] Well, it looks like the enemy
lives to fight another day.
- [Carolina] Again.
- [Director] That is most unfortunate.
Are all agents accounted for?
- [Carolina] All except CT sir.
She's gone.
- [Director] Define gone agent.
- [Grif] Sarge, how come
every time the blues
get involved in something
stupid and dangerous,
we get dragged along too?
- [Sarge] You know what they say.
Keep your friends close and
your enemies within range
of your primary firearm.
- [Simmons] Sir, I realize
- [Sarge] So you can shoot them!
- [Simmons] I realize that we agreed
to help Wash and Carolina,
but how do we know that
they're going to help us?
- [Grif] What do you mean?
- [Simmons] I mean, if
we run into trouble,
do you really think they'll
stick their neck out for us?
- [Sarge] Well, for a
backstabbing, double crossing,
no good dirty rotten blue,
that Wash fella isn't too bad.
- [Grif] What a ringing endorsement.
- [Simmons] I'm more
worried about Carolina.
What if after all this is over,
she decides to get rid of us.
- [Grif] Why would she do that?
- [Simmons] I don't know.
To tie up loose ends?
To cover her trail?
Don't you watch spy movies?
They love that shit.
- [Sarge] My God, man.
Get ahold of yourself.
You're making us look weak
in front of the enemy.
- [Caboose] Hello.
- [Sarge] Listen I don't want to hear talk
about secret double crosses
or mysterious subplots
or freelancer conspiracies anymore.
We've had enough of those
going on around here as it is.
- [Simmons] But don't you think that
- [Grif] Sorry, sorry I can't
really talk right now Simmons.
I've got to go secure a perimeter
over at the shady spot over there.
- [Simmons] I liked it better
when we only had to fight to you.
- [Caboose] Yeah this team
is pretty awesome right now.
Right Tucker?
Right church?
Hello.
- [Simmons] Uh, where's
the rest of your team?
(slow solemn music)
(suspenseful music)
- [Wash] Hmm,
I expected it to be bigger.
- [York] Why?
you've seen mine.
It's small too.
- [Wash] Yeah, but yours is really shiny.
So it looks more substantial.
- [York] How does that even make sense?
- [North] Hey Wash, quit staring.
You're making it nervous.
- [Wash] It's just, they're so small.
- [York] Small, yeah
but you wouldn't believe what it can do.
- [North] Besides you
better get used to it.
You're going to have one
of your own soon enough.
- [South] Ugh, give me a break.
- [North] It's all right, Theta.
Come on out.
People just want to say hello to you.
- [Theta] I don't know,
there's so many of them.
And they're so, big.
- [Wash] You see,
I'm not the only one who
thinks size is important.
- [York] I'm just going
to let that one go.
- [North] It's okay Theta.
They're all friends of mine.
For reasons beyond my comprehension.
- [Theta] They're looking at me.
- [North] That's cause
they want to meet you.
This is York and Wash.
- [Wash] Hey, there little computer dude.
- [York] Give it a rest Wash.
Theta, I have a friend just like you.
His name is Delta.
- [Theta] Really?
- [York] Yeah.
Here, you want, you want
to say hello to him?
- [North] Um, York?
- [York] It's okay, man.
Just for a second.
- [Delta] Hello Theta, I am Delta.
It is nice to meet you.
- [Theta] Hello.
- [North] See, everybody here is nice.
Isn't that right Delta?
- [Delta] Agent North,
I do not feel qualified to
make a judgment about humans
with whom I've only limited experience.
Also nice is a rather subjective term for
- [York] Delta.
- [Delta] Oh yes.
Everyone here is nice within
standard acceptable deviations.
- [York] Delta.
- [North] And that's my
sister over there, South.
We're twins.
- [Theta] I have a sister.
- [Wash] You do?
- [Theta] We have many siblings.
- [Wash] What do you mean by
- [Director] Hello everyone.
I hope you're ready to begin our test.
Delta, I believe you know the protocol
about communicating directly
with other AI units.
- [Delta] I apologize, sir.
I will log off.
- [Director] Don't.
I want you to help administer the test.
Gentlemen, if you will take the floor.
- [North] Okay, just like we practiced.
- [Theta] Are they all going to watch?
- [North] Of course.
They want to see if you're
as good as I said you are.
- [Theta] Really?
Well, I guess that's okay.
- [North] That's the spirit.
Come on, let's do this.
- [Director] Delta, I expect
you to follow protocol
at all times.
- [Delta] We were only
attempting to make the new unit
more comfortable.
- [York] It's my fault
sir, I asked him to.
New kid seems kind of shy.
- [Counselor] Agent North
was paired with Theta
for a reason, as nurturing
nature is best suited to care
for Theta's unique personality.
- Yeah, he's used to looking
out for people isn't he?
- [Counselor] Quite.
Delta, your skills are
more analytical in nature.
- [Delta] If I may disagree,
Theta has made double the
number of declarative statements
since my appearance, that
indicates a hundred percent
increase in confidence.
Since we modified our
interaction strategy.
I think that speaks volumes
to my caring algorithms.
- [Counselor] You make
an excellent point Delta,
let's begin the test.
- [Director] Begin the test.
(suspenseful music begins)
(mechanical whirring)
(gunfire)
- [Counselor] As you may recall,
Agent North used his
equipment in the field
on a previous mission.
- [Delta] He was able
to successfully maintain
a deflective shield for 3.4 seconds.
In order to block an
explosive projectile attack.
- [Director] And somehow
managed not to kill himself
in the process.
- [Delta] The maneuver only
had a 0.1% chance of success
and he performed it 999 more times.
I'm rather certain he
would have been obliterated
on each one.
- [North] Hey, I'd rather
be lucky than good any day.
- [York] You usually are.
- [Director] Luck will
only take one so far.
I am in the business of getting results.
Let's see what Theta can do.
Delta reduce shield strength by 50%.
- [Delta] Modifying.
(electronic beeping)
- [North] Power dropping
Theta, use remaining power
to compensate for critical trials.
- [Theta] Okay.
- [Counselor] Add variables.
- [Delta] Acknowledged.
(mechanical whirring and gunfire)
- [North] Great job Theta.
- [Theta] Stop talking
to me, you'll mess me up.
- [North] Right, sorry.
- [Delta] Reset.
- [Director] Agent
North, your objective now
is to eliminate all turrets.
Begin.
- [Wash] Yeah, I thought that
the shield works both ways.
There's no way for him to attack.
- [North] Theta analyze
turret rate of fire,
adjust shield to match.
- [Theta] Okay, done.
- Firing.
- [North] On my mark.
- [Theta] Ready!
- [North] Mark.
(gun fire)
(chaotic gun firing)
- [Delta] All targets eliminated.
- [Counselor] Task
complete, excellent work.
- [Wash] Wow.
Wow, that was incredible.
- [York] Haha, yeah.
What did I tell you?
- [Wash] And we're sure
they don't get any bigger?
- [York] Dude, you are
killing me with that.
(mechanical whirring)
- [Wash] Looking for something?
- [Carolina] Leads.
Information.
Anything.
You said Maine had been
through here, right?
- [Wash] Well, yeah,
but that was ages ago.
- [Carolina] Then look closely.
Don't tell me hanging around these morons
has turned you soft.
- [Tucker] Hey, she
said morons, that's us.
- [Church] Tucker shut up, let me listen.
- [Wash] The Meta was
attempting to transfer energy
from these turbines into his suit.
It was the only way he could
keep his equipment running.
- [Carolina] Poor Maine.
- [Wash] Carolina.
It wasn't your fault.
- [Carolina] But it was my AI.
- [Wash] None of us could
have known what would happen.
- [Carolina] Yeah?
Well sometimes I'm not so sure.
- [Wash] What?
- [Carolina] We were told that the AI
were specifically designed for each of us.
North was chosen for Theta.
York had Delta.
Sigma was mine.
- [Wash] What are you saying?
- [Carolina] You really think the director
didn't know what would happen?
- [Wash] Carolina, that's ridiculous.
- [Carolina] He always had
his little experiments.
He just forgot to take a few
extra variables into account.
- [Wash] And what about now?
The whole world thinks you're dead.
Do you think he knows
you're coming for him?
- [Carolina] Yes I do.
And for once I look forward
to proving him right.
- [Wash] The director
was always hard on you.
- [Tucker] Dude, he said hard on.
- [Church] God just shut up.
They're going to hear you.
- [Carolina] He was hard on all of us.
- [Tucker] Oh, come on.
You got to let me have that one.
- [Church] Quiet, you could
give away our position.
- [Tucker] I got about five
positions in mind for her,
bow chica
- Tucker, I'm serious.
- [Wash] Yeah, you're right.
But you have to admit, he was
also pretty hard on himself.
- That's it I'm doing it.
- Tucker!
- [Tucker] Bow chica bow
whoa same team same team!
- [Carolina] What are you doing here?
- [Tucker] Okay take it easy Carolina.
We just wanted information.
- [Wash] Epsilon?
- [Church] Look, if you two are planning
on dragging us around wherever you want,
the least you can do is fill us in.
- [Tucker] I'll fill her in, bow chica
(gunfire)
- Tucker!
- Sorry.
- [Carolina] You and your squad
are on a need to know basis.
And right now, you don't
need to know anything.
- [Church] Seriously?
Jesus, your worse than Tex.
(gunfire)
- [Tucker] Okay, that one was on you.
- [Carolina] Get out.
- [Church] Fine we're leaving already.
Kay Tucker I need you to leave,
I can't actually do it on my own.
- [Wash] Carolina you got to calm down.
- [Carolina] Don't tell me how
to lead my squad Washington.
Now sweep the area and report
back to me when you're done.
(wash sighs)
- [Wash] On it boss.
- [Counselor] And as the
director accurately predicted
in his thesis on the subject,
we see that cognitive impression modeling
can be segregated from the host.
Naturally this remains an
inherently deconstructive process.
But most of all, the biggest
concern of any full AI entity
is the prospect of rampancy,
which we covered last week.
- [Director] Of course our AI units
are what we call fragments.
So there's very little
chance that a personality
subroutine can run off unchecked.
- [Counselor] Are there any questions?
- [South] Yeah I got a question.
Why do we need to learn all this stuff?
- [Carolina] AI theory is like
vehicle maintenance South.
If we're going to use this
equipment, any equipment,
we need to know how to care for it.
- [South] Oh yeah.
Like a coffee maker or a vacuum cleaner.
- [Theta] Uh
- [Delta] That was rather rude.
- [South] Oh, cry me a river light bulb.
- [Carolina] No, not the same as that.
- [South] I don't even
have one 'cause someone
didn't bring enough to
share so why am I sitting
through this elementary
classroom bullshit.
- [Carolina] I don't
have one either South.
- [York] That's only because
you gave yours to Maine.
- [Carolina] He needed
to be able to communicate
after his injury.
- [South] Oh yeah, that's
the only reason you did it.
You're a real hero Carolina
and it's not like Maine
has much to say anyway.
- [Sigma] I would like to say
just how appreciative the two of us are
for Carolina's sacrifice.
Agent Carolina, if anyone
can excel without an AI unit
It is you.
- [Carolina] Thank you Sigma.
- [Sigma] And Agent Texas of course,
that goes without saying.
- [Carolina] Right
- [South] I notice she
doesn't have to attend class.
- [Director] Agent Texas
doesn't need this training.
- [Counselor] What the
director is trying to say
is that Agent Texas
has already completed
her AI theory coursework.
I think that's enough for today.
- [Sigma] If I may Counselor.
I have just one last question.
- [York] Oh come on.
- [Sigma] On the different levels
of AI awareness and rampancy.
- [Counselor] Melancholia, anger
- [Sigma] Specifically the
fourth stage of rampancy.
- [Counselor] Meta stability.
- [Sigma] Yes, the Meta stage,
in which an AI can be
considered fully human.
- [Counselor] That is
only theoretical Sigma.
No AI has ever achieved such a state,
- [Sigma] But it is possible,
- [Counselor] In theory, but
- [Sigma] But possible
I find that very interesting.
- [Counselor] Remember Sigma
you are not even a full AI.
You are what we call a fragment.
So something of that magnitude
would be even more difficult
for an entity such as yourself.
- [Sigma] Well, as the
director always says
it is important to have ambition.
- [Director] Why, yes it is.
Class is dismissed.
- [Delta] Sigma, are you coming?
- [Sigma] Yes, yes.
I will be joining you shortly.
- [Caboose] Hey, Hi
Carolina you, excuse me.
Have you seen Church lately?
Uh, yeah, he and I were
supposed to hang out
after we rescued him.
- [Carolina] Tell your
friends to stay out of my way,
or else.
- [Caboose] Or else what?
- [Carolina] Or else they'll
bring out my ugly side.
- [Caboose] Oh, oh come on Carolina.
I bet you are really
pretty under that armor.
- [Carolina] What?
- [Caboose] I mean, you
know, I mean, who hasn't
I mean, I understand
there's some helmet hair.
We all have helmet hair
time to time, but you know.
(Carolina growls)
Yes so, anyways,
um what did you want me to
tell Church and Tucker again?
(explosion)
- [Carolina] Just try
and put that into words.
- [Caboose] Pew, explosion.
- [Grif] You know, I'm
beginning to think Simmons
might've had the right idea
about this Carolina chick.
- [Simmons] See, I told you
- [Sarge] Normally I'd agree with Simmons,
but in this case it would also
cause me to agree with Grif.
Therefore I will simply grunt ambiguously.
(grunts ambiguously)
- [Wash] Hey did Carolina come this way?
We've got to get going soon.
- [Grif] Right, we've been meaning
to talk to you about that.
- [Wash] About what?
- [Grif] This whole
finding the director thing.
- [Wash] You mean the mission.
- [Grif] Yeah, that.
- [Simmons] We were thinking now
that we've helped you find Church,
we should probably just
let you handle the rest.
You know, wouldn't want
to cramp your style.
That whole freelancer thing.
You're good at that.
- [Wash] So you're abandoning the mission.
- [Sarge] Red team never
abandons the mission.
We're just accepting an alternate mission,
of different risk.
- [Wash] Less risk.
- [Simmons] Less is different.
- [Sarge] Securing the
front lines of red base.
- [Wash] Going home is risky?
On what scale?
- [Sarge] Well we haven't
been there in ages, who knows
what kind of nefarious ne'er-do-wells
have moved in on our territory?
- [Wash] I guess you're right.
- [Sarge] What?
- [Wash] Well, you are
wanted criminals of the UNSC.
I wouldn't be surprised if
they were setting up an ambush
for you right now.
- [Sarge] What?
- [Wash] I suppose I can't stop you.
Anyway, I'm going to go find Carolina.
Good luck.
- [Sarge] On second thought,
you could probably use the extra help.
- [Grif] Yeah, we're sticking with you.
- [Simmons] Never abandon the mission.
- [Grif] Semper the sempering thing.
Semper se
fuck it.
- [Wash] Facility is clear.
- [Carolina] Find anything?
- [Wash] Nothing we didn't already know.
- [Carolina] Figured as much.
This place was a dead end.
- [Wash] Sorry, boss.
- [Carolina] The structure
we're going to next,
you're positive our target was there?
- [Wash] I know what I saw.
That's why it's on our list,
- [Carolina] But I know what I saw
and it doesn't make any sense.
- [Wash] All the more
reason to investigate.
- [Carolina] All right, then.
Let's go.
Let's go find CT.
(seagulls chirping)
(gunshot)
- [Malcolm] To the director
of Project Freelancer.
Dr. Leonard George.
Dear director, allow
me to introduce myself.
I am a representative of the newly formed
UNSC oversight subcommittee.
Our organization is
charged with the protection
of high level assets of the military.
One of which recently went missing.
These assets are entrusted to
our programs as a privilege,
not as a right.
As such, they will be safe
guarded with the utmost care.
In these dark times,
mankind has the opportunity,
not only to prove his
humanity, but to earn it.
- [Wyoming] Well the third
craft this afternoon.
Let's see who else is arriving.
- [Malcolm] I look forward
to a long mutually beneficial relationship
for our two departments.
Yours truly, Malcolm Halgrove
assistant to the oversight
subcommittee chairmens.
- [Solider] It's her.
- I can't believe you trust that bitch
after what she did to us.
- [Wyoming] There she is.
Come in, command.
Tell the director she's here.
- [Leader] What is it?
- [CT] It's nothing.
Come on.
- [Counselor] Congratulations, Director.
Another successful test.
- [Director] A new fragment was harvested
this morning Counselor, find it a match.
- [Counselor] This morning?
That is ahead of schedule.
- [Director] Our time grows
short, find it a match.
- [Carolina] Director,
Wyoming reported in.
- [Director] And?
- [Carolina] You won't
like what he found, sir.
- [Director] Agent Carolina
information never displeases me.
It's ignorance that I find unforgivable.
Report.
- [Carolina] It's like
you said, CT is with them.
- [Director] You know what to do.
I do not need to remind you
how valuable our technology is Carolina.
- [Carolina] She doesn't have an AI, sir.
And she wasn't exactly the best agent.
- [Director] CT will
be an acceptable loss,
but her armor must not
fall into the wrong hands.
- [Carolina] I understand.
Will we be the only forces
set out on this mission, sir?
- [Director] Leave personnel
decisions to me, Agent.
Just do your job.
It's time to cut the head off
the enemy once and for all.
- [Carolina] Yes sir.
(suspenseful music)
- [Tucker] So how do you even
know this Carolina chick?
- [Church] Oh, Tex used
to tell me stories.
- [Tucker] You mean tell Alpha stories?
- [Church] Oh yeah, I
guess, you know, whatever.
It's hard for me to know
whose memory I'm in.
- [Caboose] Oh, yeah,
same thing happened to me
with things I'm in.
Like my helmet.
That's why I wrote my
name on the inside of it.
I used my tongue.
That was hard to do.
Now I can't pronounce my (inaudible).
- [Tucker] So how many people are you?
- [Church] I don't know, a bunch, I guess.
- [Tucker] Are they all assholes?
- [Church] Yeah.
A dozen different fragments.
We all have the same
shitty circle of friends.
Lucky us.
(fireworks)
- [North] That's really great Theta.
- [Theta] Thank you, I
worked super hard on it.
(South groans)
- [York] Hey Theta, you
mind if I talk to North
for a second?
- [Theta] Uh, okay.
- [York] I need you to shut
down while we chat, okay?
Delta too.
You know it's the rules.
- [Theta] North?
- [North] It'll be okay.
I won't talk too long.
- [Theta] All right.
- [North] What's up.
- [York] I need to ask
you about something.
- [North] Okay, shoot.
- [York] I need to ask
you about the Alpha.
- [North] Where did you hear that word?
- [York] Same place you heard it.
Up here.
- [Wash] What's an Alpha?
- [York] Wash, are you
eating inside your helmet?
- [Wash] Maybe.
Delta said they got the helmet
waste disposal out of beta.
That would make my eating more efficient.
- [York] And you believe that?
Maybe he is getting more personable.
- [North] It's not an alpha, Wash.
It's the alpha.
Theta thinks about him a lot.
More than thinks, really, he's obsessed.
- [York] Delta too.
You know how all the units
call each other brother.
They called this one father.
No, that's not right.
- [North] Creator.
- [York] Yeah.
- [Wash] I thought the director
would be their creator.
- [York] Haven't you been
paying any attention in class?
AI's aren't created
they're copies of someone.
- [North] But our AI's are just fragments.
- [York] Which begs the
question, where's the original?
- [Wash] So this Alpha thing
is what creates our fragments?
- [York] Jesus, will you
swallow for God's sake?
(swallowing)
- [Wash] It creates them?
- [North] Yeah, Theta isn't clear.
It creates them or something.
- [York] Yeah.
It's the or something
part that has me worried.
- [479er] No, no.
This one goes here.
That one goes there.
- [Wash] So when are you and
- [York] Wrecked em, damn near killed them
- [North] York how many times
are we going to have to
listen to this story?
- [Wash] I hope the seatbelts are better.
- [York] So anyway, like I was saying.
- [Carolina] We ready?
- [479er] Just about,
running final checks now.
- [Carolina] All right, you
heard her, everyone on board.
- Great
- All right
- [North] Come on, D, let's go.
- [York] It's about time.
Let's get this mission going.
- [479er] Whoa whoa
whoa, hang on a minute.
What is that thing?
- [North] This is Delta.
Our new edition.
- [479er] Your new
edition is pretty small.
- [Wash] I said the same thing.
- [North] Delta's a computer program.
He helps us figure stuff out.
He's an AI.
- [479er] Oh, AI, huh?
What's the A stand for?
- [North] Artificial.
- [479er] I know what
the fuck it stands for.
What's it doing here?
Is it like one of those robots
that takes people's jobs
and puts them out of work?
- [North] I don't think so.
- [479er] What are you looking at?
I said put it over there.
Pay attention.
- [Carolina] Hey guys, get a move on.
- [479er] Hang on a
minute, you, green guy.
Do you know how to fly a plane?
- [Delta] No I do not.
- [479er] Oh, right, we're cool then.
Everybody on board.
(grunting)
Not over there.
Over there.
Just quit screwing around
and put that thing back
where you found it.
(agent groans)
This is 479er.
We are wheels up and engines hot.
Leave a light on for us command.
- [Command] Roger that 479er, good luck.
- [479er] Thanks command, 479er out.
Man, I would hate to have that guy's job.
(suspenseful music)
- [Carolina] This where
you found the body?
- [Wash] Yep, she's right up there.
- [Carolina] We'll see, take me there.
Sync?
- Sync
- Automatic Dishwasher
- [Tucker] Man, where was this chick
back when we had that awesome tank?
Bitches love tanks.
- [Church] I don't get it,
what is she looking for?
- [Tucker] You tell me,
I don't know half of what's
happening these days.
You found me here, remember?
- [Church] Oh yeah.
You were actually kind
of a badass that time.
- [Tucker] Dude, I'm kind
of a bad ass all the time.
You guys just happened to notice it then.
- [Caboose] Ah, that's not true.
I never noticed it.
- [Church] Look, the point is she's
not telling us everything.
I just don't understand why.
- [Tucker] Who knows, man.
I've tried everything I can
to get some info out of her.
I tried hitting on her.
I tried sleeping with her.
I tried making out with her.
- [Church] Sounds like a complete effort.
- [Tucker] Dude, no kidding.
I used the whole playbook.
I even used my best pickup line.
Hey baby, did you fall from heaven?
Cause I've always wanted to bone an angel.
- [Church] Tucker, be honest.
Have you ever had sex with
anything besides an alien?
- [Tucker] Church, the more
important question here is,
do you know any girls who
weren't complete bitches
that won't sleep with me?
- [Church] Sorry dude,
that seems to be all I have in my life.
- [Tucker] You're like
the worst wing man ever.
- [Caboose] Of all time.
- [York] We parking?
- [479er] Indeed we are.
The enemy base is right below us.
- [Wash] How far below?
- [479er] Do you really want to know?
- [Wash] Probably not.
Do I want to know?
- [479er] 75,000 feet.
- [Wash] Uh that's high.
- [479er] No wonder you
guys need computer programs.
Yes, that's very high.
- [Delta] That is
approximately 14.2 miles.
- [York] Thanks D, you do
not need to do that anymore.
- [Delta] Automatic
conversion routines offline.
- [Carolina] What's the plan?
- [479er] Well, we know
they're ready for us.
I figured that they have defenses
pointed in every direction except
- [Carolina] Except they're probably
not looking straight up.
- [479er] They're probably
not looking straight up.
- [Carolina] You thinking
about a dive bomb?
- [Wash] Oh no.
- [479er] Sort of, but
if we did a dive bomb,
our engines that would register on
their thermals, let them
know that we're coming.
I'm thinking something else.
- [Carolina] Probably want
to tighten that harness.
- [Wash] Oh no
- [479er] Express elevator going down.
(wind whooshing)
- [Wash] I think I'm going to be sick!
- [Carolina] You know,
the suits are supposed
to eliminate all waste.
You could probably throw up in your helmet
and it would take care of it for you.
- [York] Yeah, you should test that Wash.
- [Wash] You two are assholes.
- [Delta] Actually
York, we were never able
to get the vomit disposal
patch beyond beta.
Agent Washington would likely drown.
- [York] Yikes, way to kill the mood D.
- [479er] Hey York, send that
little green guy up here.
- [York] D, you hear
her, front and center.
- [Delta] May I be of assistance?
- [479er] Hey buddy, I need you to tell me
when I can fire the jets at
the last possible second,
you know, to avoid crashing.
- [Wash] Please don't say crashing.
- [Delta] I understand.
To prepare, I will need to
calibrate for your reaction time.
- [479er] Fine, go ahead.
- [Delta] When I say mark, you say sync,
Mark
- Sync
Mark
- Sync
Calibration complete.
- [479er] So we're good.
- [Delta] I have a high
degree of confidence.
We will be able to complete this maneuver.
- [479er] Wait a second.
Why did you just blink like that?
- [Delta] That was just a
standard maintenance routine.
- [479er] Dude, did you just
make a backup of yourself?
- [Delta] Confidence is one thing,
but it is always prudent
to prepare for failure.
- [479er] That's a dick move green guy.
- [Delta] I apologize if I have offend
- [479er] Dick. Move.
- [Delta] Prepare to
fire engines on my mark.
5, 4, 3
- [Guard] Hey.
- [Guard 2] Yeah?
- [Guard] You ever wonder why
- [Carolina] Everybody out!
(clamoring)
- [North] Let's move people.
- [Carolina] Yeah, let's move.
(gun firing)
- [North] South, stay behind me.
Go, go
- [Wash] York, move up!
- [York] On it.
Fuck they nays.
(rapid gunfire)
- [CT] They're here.
I didn't think they find me so quickly.
- [Leader] It was only a matter of time.
Let's deal with this.
All hands top side.
We are under attack.
This is not a drill.
Let's go people, move.
- [York] We gotta time this just right.
Wait for my mark.
- [Wash] Calling.
(gunshots)
- [Sniper Solider] Okay,
what have you got for me.
- [Carolina] All right boys, me first.
- [York] Now!
No wait, not now
not now.
- Come on.
- [Carolina] Dammit,
York we're pinned down.
I need you to take them out.
- [York] We can't get a
line of sight on the target
from here, but I might
have a way to contain them.
- [Carolina] Just do it.
- [North] Theta.
- [Theta] Ready.
- [North] Putting up a hail Mary.
I need you to guide me.
- [Theta] Okay.
(suspenseful music continues)
(rapid gunfire)
- [North] They say the best
offense is a good defense.
- [Solider] What the
Hold your fire people.
Stand down.
- [Solider 2] Hm, I got this.
- [Solider] No wait
(struggled groaning)
- [North] Did I get them?
- [Carolina] Yeah North, you got em.
- [North] Thanks for the help Theta.
- [Theta] You are welcome.
- [North] Okay, we're moving.
York, you guys can handle
this from here right?
- [York] Handle it?
Sure, I mean I nearly
got blown up a minute ago
and now I'm paired with a
squad second worst fighter,
but sure we can handle it.
- [North] Great, North out.
- [Wash] You really think
I'm the second worst fighter?
- [York] No, I was being nice.
You're easily the worst.
You were saying?
- [Wash] Uh-oh.
(yells)
(explosions)
(metal clanking)
uh-oh.
- Car!
- Dammit.
Shotgun
(gunfire ricochets)
- [Carolina] Oh fuck , no you don't.
- (solider) Sup bitch, it's payback time.
(rapid gunfire)
- [York] Oh, my head.
- [Wash] Okay, time to
fight fire with fire.
(electronic beeping)
(explosion)
(slow beeping)
- [Sigma] Agent Maine.
Isn't that the soldier from the freeway?
The one that shot you in the throat?
(Maine growls)
I thought so, sic him.
(suspenseful music continues)
(tires squealing)
(metal crunching)
(woman groans)
- [Sigma] Hello gentlemen.
- [York] Hey Sig.
You sure he's good to fight so soon?
He was hurt pretty bad.
- [Sigma] As compared to whom Agent York?
You two don't look so good yourselves.
Hello brother.
- [Delta] Sigma protocol
dictates that AI units
are not to communicate directly with each
- [Sigma] Protocol is just another way
of saying rules Delta.
Remember what the director says?
There are no rules on the battlefield.
Besides we AI should
really stick together.
Excuse me, I'll be right back.
- [York] I'll be honest.
That one kind of gives me the creeps.
- [Wash] Yeah, I hear ya.
Come on, let's move.
- [Carolina] Well, hello.
What a pleasure to see you again.
(loud crashes)
(mechanical whirring)
- [Female Solider]
Pleasure's all mine bitch.
(intense music continues)
(air whooshing quickly)
(clattering)
- [Solider] C'mere
(grunts)
(electricity crackling)
(mechanical whirring)
(grunting)
It's always you!
(grunting)
(air whooshing)
Ah, my robot arm!
Ah you bitch!
(crashing and thudding)
(music quickens)
(females grunting)
- [Female Solider] What?
Fuck
(yells)
- [Tucker] Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop
- [Sarge] Attention blue team.
We would like to propose a temporary truce
so we may discuss our current situation.
Do you accept?
- [Tucker] I don't get it,
does he still think we're
fighting or something?
- [Caboose] Maybe it's a trap.
- [Tucker] I doubt they're
smart enough to think of that.
But then again, neither are you.
- [Caboose] How do you know that?
Are you in with them?
- [Tucker] Yes, we accept.
So what's up?
- [Sarge] It's our mutual friend
slash enemy slash companion
or friendenmepanion for short.
- [Simmons] We're all starting
to get a little concerned
about Carolina.
- [Tucker] Really did
these concerns start before
or after she left us to die in the desert?
- [Grif] Dude, not now
the heat is killing me.
- [Simmons] Doesn't your
helmet have cooling fans?
- [Grif] Yeah, but I sweat
so much they short circuited
- [Simmons] Geez, we haven't even been
in the desert that long.
- [Grif] The desert?
These links broke during basic training.
- [Caboose] Yeah, I'm sorry.
I don't see how this applies to the trap.
- [Church] Guys, look.
We need to focus.
Now, I realize that asking a lot of you,
especially since we're all a
little uneasy around Carolina.
- [Grif] No,
uneasy is sitting next to
a homeless dude on the bus.
- [Simmons] Yeah, we've got
a trigger happy psychopath.
- [Sarge] It's like she's
some sort of half woman,
half shark.
Except the shark half has
been given cybernetic powers,
and the woman half is
also one quarter Jaguar.
- [Church] Okay, okay, okay.
We're all terrified of
the scary freelancer lady.
That's why we need to stick together.
It's just us against them.
- [Tucker] Them?
- [Church] We can't trust Wash.
At least not as long as she's around.
- [Sarge] All right then
tooth fairy, what's the plan?
- [Church] We need to figure out exactly
what Carolina is up to
and why she isn't telling us anything.
- [Caboose] Okay, I'll go ask her.
Oh, yeah, I promise not
to bring up the trap.
- [Church] No Caboose, look just, don't.
- [Caboose] Okay, fine, what
would you like me to ask her?
- [Tucker] You can go ask her
if she has the hots for me?
I think I might've felt
an emotional connection.
The last time she hit me.
- [Caboose] Tell her you'd like
to make an emotional hot
connection with her trap, got it.
- [Tucker] Oh, that's even better.
- [Church] Okay A, please
stop saying the word trap.
And B, you're an idiot.
- [Caboose] Okay, how about ambush?
- [Church] Guys I'm serious.
We need something subtle.
A way we can get close to
her without her knowing.
- [Simmons] Hmm, hey,
Caboose, you're the one
who put Epsilon in that floating
alien ball thing, right?
- [Caboose] Hover Church
can also solves crimes.
- [Simmons] Well, how would you feel
about putting him in something
a little different?
- [Church] Oh fuck you guys.
- [Caboose] You're so
also gonna make crimes.
(suspenseful music)
(mechanical whirring)
- [Wash] Catch.
Surprise.
- [Guard] We've got company coming.
Cut 'em down.
(electronic cries)
(loud rapid gunfire)
(electronic laughter)
Hold this position.
(gun fire)
(rapid gun fire)
- [Wyoming] Well about time.
- [Wash] Hey Wyoming,
did we miss all the fun?
- [Wyoming] Hardly chaps, now
where is our dear Carolina?
Ah yes.
- [Carolina] Wyoming, move up.
- [Wyoming] With all due respect,
I prefer not to be killed.
If at all possible.
- [Carolina] York, got any ideas?
- [York] I don't know,
have we got any nukes?
- [Carolina] You mean besides the one
I'm going to drop on Wyoming
if he doesn't move the hell up.
- [Wyoming] Yes I can
see everything just fine
from back here, thank you.
- [Carolina] We need
to get in that bunker.
That's where CT and their
leader are holed up.
- [Wash] How are we going
to get through all of this?
- [Wyoming] So far, we're not.
- [York] Maybe Wyoming should try
one of his knock knock jokes.
- [Wyoming] Ha, who's there?
- [York] Nobody, stop.
- [Wyoming] Nobody stop who?
Should I go on?
- [York] Yeah, I was kidding now shut up.
- [Wyoming] Shut up who?
- [Carolina] Both of you shut up.
Okay, here's what we're going to do.
Wash, you establish a line on that side.
York and Wyoming, you
(Electronic gun firing)
Dammit, no, cover me.
- [Wash] Cover me?
That's the plan?
- [York] Open fire.
(electronic whirring)
(gunfire)
- [Wash] Carolina, dammit.
Man, she really wants to win.
- [York] Yep, it's not them
she's fighting against.
- [Wash] Here.
I have no idea how she got here.
- [Carolina] That's because she didn't.
- [Wash] Is that who I think it is?
If what you're saying is true,
how could this have happened?
- [CT] We need to get the escape vehicle.
- [Leader] I'm not leaving them.
(mechanical whirring)
- [CT] You don't understand, they want me.
They don't care about the rest of you.
I know too much.
If I leave, they will follow me.
- [Texas] Quiet.
That room is guarded by turrets.
- [Carolina] I can get past them.
- [Texas] If there was a way to do it,
I would have already done it.
- [Carolina] York, I
need you to cut the power
on the main complex.
(mechanical whirring and gunfire)
- [York] Little busy out here.
- [Carolina] Just do it.
- [York] I'll see what I can do.
Sounds like a good excuse to
get out of this fire fight.
- [Wyoming] Good show
mate, that's the spirit.
Still a bit of fight in you.
(metal grinds)
(ax whirring)
(electronic whining)
(gunfire continues)
- [York] So much for that plan, what now?
(electronic whirring and garbles)
(whining)
(crashing)
- [York] Ha, I don't believe it!
We're all clear Carolina.
It'll be dark in less than 60.
- [Carolina] Roger that.
Don't forget our objective.
We're just here to retrieve the armor.
- [Texas] Carolina, I know
what the fucking objective is.
- [Leader] Dammit.
- [CT] We need to go.
- [Leader] I already told
you I can't leave them.
- [CT] Most of them are already dead.
Besides if we leave, they
have no reason to be here.
Please, let's just go while we still can.
- [Leader] Connie, come on.
- [CT] You promised me, you
said we would be together.
I have all the information we need.
I have my armor.
We can take this to the
right people and they'll
- [Leader] They'll what Connie?
- [CT] I don't know,
make a deal with that.
Keep us out of prison.
They'll help us.
Come on, we don't have much time.
- [Carolina] Actually,
you don't have any time.
- [CT] Carolina and you,
- [York] Hey Carolina, the powers off.
- [Carolina] We noticed.
- [York] What no thank you?
This was a complicated
- [Delta] Actually I did
most of the work Agent York.
- [York] Give it a rest D.
- [Texas] CT, you have something
that belongs to Project Freelancer
and you know how the
director hates to share.
- [CT] You two are full of
The director is playing
you, don't you see it?
- [Carolina] CT, stop it.
We know you've been feeding Intel
to the resistance for months.
- [Leader] Ha ha is that
who he told you we are?
- [CT] They're not the enemy Carolina.
We're the ones working outside the rules.
Not them.
You don't know what the director's done.
He's broken major laws.
When this war ends,
we're all going to have
to pay for his crime.
Maybe some of us are
already paying for them.
- [Texas] You need to stop talking CT.
- [CT] No, I know what you are, Tex.
And I won't take orders from a shadow.
- [Texas] What did you just call me?
- [Carolina] You're coming with us, CT.
This is your last chance.
- [CT] No, I'm not
going anywhere with you.
- [Texas] Actually, we don't need you.
We just need your armor.
(gunshot)
- No!
(rapid gunfire)
(metal clanking)
(metal whirring)
(gun fire)
(electricity cackling)
(metal clanking)
(air whooshing)
(static waves)
(grunting)
(metal clanking)
(air whooshing)
(metal crunching)
(cries out)
- [Carolina] What the hell are you doing?
- [Texas] Completing our objective.
- [Carolina] By killing a teammate?
- [Texas] She's not a teammate.
She's a traitor.
- [Texas] Dammit!
That's on you.
I guess you could explain how
we lost a full suit of armor
had failed to capture the
leader of the resistance.
Command, we need extraction now.
- [Command] I got 'em command.
Read you loud and clear Texas.
Clear me an LV and get ready for pickup.
- I don't know what's
gotten into you, Texas,
but you better figure out the difference
between your enemies and your friends.
(metal clanking)
(groaning)
- Connie, Connie
- Here, take the info.
It's not complete, but
it will get them started.
Go, find the new artifact.
- Just rest, Connie.
Just rest, Connie.
Connie?
Connie.
No.
No.
(mechanical whirring intensifying)
(loud crashing)
(somber music playing)
♪ With hand in mine we walked along ♪
♪ No hill to high no road was too long ♪
(gun cocks)
♪ Just stay with you now only dream ♪
♪ Just share with your
life with everything. ♪
- [Wash] That's what
happened to her armor.
- [Carolina] Apparently.
We never did complete our objective,
- [Wash] But why come out here?
What's the motivation?
- [Carolina] I have a
feeling this will tell us.
- [Tucker] So how do you feel?
- [Church] I feel
like running over each
and every one of you.
- [Tucker] So pretty
much the same as before.
- [Church] Yeah, pretty much.
- [Grif] You know, Simmons.
I think I'm going to let you
call shotgun on this one.
- [Simmons] Fuck that.
- [Church] Man, this sucks.
- [Tucker] What are you complaining about?
You finally got your own body.
- [Church] My own body?
Tucker, I'm a fucking Tonka truck.
- [Tucker] Okay, yeah.
But you could literally pick
up chicks with this thing.
- [Church] Oh yeah, because
every girl just dreams
about settling down with
Optimus prime, honk.
Caboose, don't do that.
- [Caboose] Sorry.
- [Sarge] All right places
people, here they come.
- [Caboose] Don't forget
to shout surprise.
- [Tucker] Caboose, shut up.
- [Carolina] Tucker,
bring Epsilon over here.
I've got some questions for him.
- Tu God dammit.
- [Carolina] Any luck?
- [Wash] I think so.
All right, data pad accepted.
It looks like we're in business.
- [Tucker] So a what
do you need church for?
- [Carolina] I just told you.
- [Tucker] Oh yeah, but I mean,
you can talk to me instead, sup girl.
- [Carolina] Why on earth
would I ever want to do that?
- [Tucker] Well, you know,
we're a perfect match.
We're both super good
looking bad-ass rebel loners,
and we've got the same color armor.
Greenish blue.
Uh, aquamarine.
Turquoise?
Hey, what the fuck color is this anyway?
- [Wash] Listen, it's
important that we figure out
what's on CT's data pad.
It might be our next clue
to finding the director.
- [Tucker] Hey, I know that thing.
- [Carolina] Wait, you
recognize this artifact?
- [Tucker] Hell yeah, it was
the biggest pain in the ass.
- [Caboose] Hi it's Church.
You know he has lost a lot of weight.
- [Carolina] What?
- [Tucker] Oh yeah.
Caboose transferred
Epsilon from a memory unit
into that thing a long time ago.
- [Carolina] Where is it now?
- [Tucker] I don't know who cares.
- [Carolina] I do.
- [Tucker] Oh,
well in that case, uh
Caboose, tell her where it is.
- [Caboose] Right, yes. Okay.
Right, yes.
I will do that, yes.
Right now.
- [Grif] Well, Sarge, you always
wanted to watch a blue die.
Looks like you're going to
get your wish after all.
- [Sarge] Actually Grif,
it's always been my wish to watch you die.
- [Grif] Oh, right, yeah.
- [Sarge] Yep,
every night after you boys
would retire to your bunks
I would climb up to the top
of the base and just wait.
Hoping I would see a shooting star
so that I could wish for your violent
and unbearably painful demise.
- [Grif] Okay, you can stop now.
- [Sarge] I even had a little
jingle to go along with it.
- [Grif] Please don't.
♪ I just wish that Grif was dead. ♪
I hate you.
♪ Put a bullet through his head. ♪
What the, Simmons, how
do you know that song?
- [Simmons] Oh, it's been
in my dreams for years.
Now it all makes sense.
Oh, thank God.
- [Grif] What?
- [Simmons] I thought I was crazy
when I woke up with
that rifle in my hands.
- [Sarge] Ha ha, well
ain't the power of music.
- [Grif] Simmons, why didn't
you tell me about this?
- [Simmons] Oh shut up,
it wasn't even loaded.
- [Carolina] How
can you just leave an
ancient alien artifact
on the floor of a warehouse.
- [Caboose] Okay, yeah, hold on.
I mean, to be fair, you know,
we had already broken it.
- [Wash] Uh oh, that's not right.
- [Carolina] Ugh,
I can't believe we came
all this way for nothing.
- [Wash] You guys are not
making my life easy right now.
- [Tucker] Do we ever?
- [Wash] Good point.
So, what's the plan now?
- [Carolina] There's an island
nearby that I want to visit.
Shouldn't take more than a day or so.
- [Wash] That old fortress?
Carolina, I'm not sure there's a
- [Carolina] Wash, trust me on this?
- [Wash] Right.
You should probably
listen to your instincts.
- [Carolina] You stay here
and keep the SIM troopers
from causing any trouble.
I won't be long.
- [Wash] All right, everyone,
move into the temple.
It'll be getting dark soon.
- [Tucker] Hey Wash, where
exactly is she going?
- [Wash] She lost something.
I think she just needs some
time to try and find it again.
- [Malcolm] Dear Director,
the loss of military equipment
is a severe infraction.
I should not need to remind
you that all UNSC property,
especially our more
experimental technologies
must be kept from the hands
of our enemies at all costs.
In these trying times,
vigilance is paramount.
(York yawns)
- [North] Still training at this hour?
- [York] Yeah, she's been like this
since we got back from the last mission.
- [North] You gotta be kidding me.
She's always been like this.
- [York] Well, yeah.
I mean, she never did know when to stop,
but now it's like, she
doesn't know how to stop.
Always training.
I guess the leaderboard beckons.
- [North] You know, you
don't have to watch over her.
- [York] Could say the
same to you about South.
- [North] That's not really an answer.
- [York] So what are you doing awake?
- [North] Theta, couldn't sleep.
And if Theta can't sleep.
- [York] Ah,
one of the side effects
they don't tell you about.
Having someone else's voice in your head
sure does take some getting
used to it, doesn't it?
Delta's always running
these probabilities.
- [North] Well that seems annoying.
- [York] He says it's fun.
You know, did you know that statistically
you're as likely to get hit by lightning
as you are to die in a Pelican crash?
- [North] It seems like it would be higher
considering our line of work.
Guess I'm due for a few lightning bolts.
- [FILSS] Round complete,
a 6.3% increase in efficiency that round
Agent Carolina
- Run it again FILSS
Resetting training room
floor for next round.
(electronic beeping)
- [York] Is Theta up late often?
- [North] You're wondering
if he gets scared a lot.
- [York] Yeah, I guess I am.
- [North] Well, it happens.
Mainly at night.
He likes when I walk the halls.
When we were kids, my dad
would have to drive South
around in the car to
get her to fall asleep.
It's kind of the same thing.
- [York] I wonder if
they're are like this.
The AI's, you know, jittery, nervous.
No, not nervous.
- [North] Anxious.
- [York] Yeah.
Anxious.
It's like Delta thinks something bad
is always about to happen.
I don't get it.
What do they have to worry about?
- [North] Uh, pelican
crashes, lightning strikes?
Hey, maybe they know something we don't.
(electronic whooshing)
(north yawns)
- [York] Why don't you
just pull him for a night?
Get yourself some sleep?
- [North] Pull Theta?
- [York] Yeah.
- [North] He gets even
more scared when I do that,
I feel obligated to help.
- [York] I see why they picked you.
- [North] Yeah.
- [York] Well he has to
face his fear at some point.
If they want to be human,
that's a good place to start.
- [North] What can I tell you,
I guess some things are just
harder to face than others.
- [York] Yeah, good night North.
- [North] Don't stay up too late.
You need your rest.
- [FILSS] Round complete.
- [Carolina] Run it again.
- [FILSS] That last round showed a 3.6%
- [Carolina] Run it again.
- [FILSS] Resetting training room floor.
(Electronic whooshing)
Round complete
- [Carolina] Run it again.
- [FILSS] Resetting training
room floor for next round.
- [York] I think we all
could use some rest.
- [Carolina] Okay, I'll take the lead.
Give me 15 seconds to follow sync.
- [York] Sync.
- [robotic] Fire detected,
cover recommended
- [Carolina] Dammit, Damn!
Cover, Cover, Cover!
- [York] Ah!
- [Carolina] York are okay?
How bad is it D?
- [Delta] York will not survive.
- [Carolina] I'm sorry York.
Sorry I didn't listen.
I just, I don't understand.
Why her?
Why Tex?
- [Church] Tex?
- [Carolina] You.
- [Church] Ah, shit.
- [Carolina] Let me guess,
just wanted some information.
- Carolina, I
- You don't have a clue
do you?
You and your friends just think
I'm some blood thirsty merc
with a bad attitude, but you know what?
You're wrong.
I'm much worse.
- [Church] Look, you go and
round up everyone I know,
just to bring me back and then
you keep us all in the dark?
What the hell did you think
was going to happen Carolina?
Of course, no one trusts you.
- [Carolina] Well, I
don't trust them Epsilon.
I don't trust anyone anymore.
- [Church] Oh, why not?
Because having friends would
ruin the whole psychotic loner
bitch thing you've got going on?
Because that would be a real shame.
- [Carolina] It's because
I had a team once.
A team with the best
training, the best equipment.
And despite everything that
they had that made them the
best, they still lied and stole
and tore each other to pieces.
So you tell me how the hell am
I supposed to trust a ragtag
team of idiots when I couldn't
even trust the people that
were closest to me.
That's what I thought.
- [Grif] I never thought I'd
say this, but I can't sleep.
- [Simmons] Yes we know.
You've been shoveling food
into your mouth for an hour.
- [Tucker] Yeah, what's up with that?
- [Grif] It's a nervous habit, okay?
- [Tucker] No where the fuck
does someone find potato chips
in the middle of the desert?
- [Sarge] Ah, quit your complaining,
Carolina's probably miles away by now,
the only thing we've got to
worry about are sand fleas.
And the other highly trained
operative on patrol outside.
- [Tucker] Wow.
You have a way with words
that just immediately makes me
want to kill myself.
- [Sarge] Look, it's like
your little fairy friend said.
- [Grif] I thought Donut was your friend.
- [Simmons] He means church.
- [Sarge] All we've got
to do is stick together,
and everything will be just fine.
- [Grif] Well, somebody probably
should have told Caboose
that cause he's gone.
- [Church] Carolina?
- [Carolina] I'm done talking to you.
- [Church] Carolina,
I think I found something
you might want to see.
- [Carolina] Really?
What might that be?
- [Delta] A memory.
- [Carolina] Delta?
- [Delta] We
must be brief, Epsilon is
struggling to remember.
- [Carolina] Remember what?
Delta, Delta please don't.
- [York] Good evening, beautiful people.
It's a lovely Monday night
and I'm here with another
adrenaline pumping journal entry,
courtesy of our good friend Delta.
- [Carolina] It can't be.
- [Delta] York, please,
documentation is an important part
- [York] Yeah yeah, Jimmie Christmas.
Forgive me for trying to lighten the mood.
So today I intercepted some
interesting messages from our
good friends over at Project Freelancer.
It sounds like someone is
causing them a bit of trouble.
Old news, I know, old news, but
here's the interesting part.
D give me a drum roll, please.
- [Delta] I would prefer not to.
- [York] They said she,
she, as in a lady, not Wyoming, not Maine,
but a former female freelancer
has suddenly popped up on the PFL radar.
And if you know me, then you know
my money is on the gal and
the greenish blues, sea foam,
green turquoise, whatever it is, armor.
Okay, well at least if I had any money.
- [Carolina] Wait!
- [York] Still no ID on
our female troublemaker.
But given what I know about
South's last location,
fairly certain the odds are in my favor.
- [Delta] Again
I must point out that for
the statistical standpoint
the odds of Agent Carolina
- [York] In other news.
Hurricane Delta continues
to rain on my parade.
So when I finally see her again,
I think I've narrowed down my line
to like two options, okay, here they are.
One, Hey there, Carolina.
If I said, I like your armor,
would you hold it against me?
Or two,
- [Delta] York, please focus.
- [York] What?
Pickup lines are important D.
Did I ever tell you about how we met?
See, I was out one night with my buddies,
they abandoned me some
ridiculous nightclub.
I think it was called
- [In Unison] Arara
- [York] So I'm just
sitting there at the bar,
bored out of my skull.
I'm flicking this lighter off and on
then from out of nowhere, she walks up.
She just grabs the lighter
right out of my hand.
And she goes,
Agent Foxtrot 12 journal entry, 0424,
intercepted another
transmission from command today.
They have confirmed that
Agent Texas continues to
evade the response teams that
she still does possess the
omega AI, nothing more to report.
- [Delta] York?
- [York] You know D,
I bet if I had opened
up with a pickup line,
I would have never seen her again.
- [Delta] Why is that?
- [York] Because
she probably would have
busted my other eye.
- [Delta] What would
you have told her, York?
- [York] I would have told her
that I understand why
she did what she did.
I just wish she hadn't.
I wish you could have
learned to let things go.
I guess I should too.
- [Carolina] Why did you show me that?
- [Church] Because I know what
it's like to spend your life
chasing ghosts.
- [Caboose] Sneaking,
sneaking, sneaking, sneaking
- [Wash] Hello, Caboose.
- [Caboose] Hello Agent Washington.
- [Wash] Caboose,
you know, you're supposed
to be in the temple
with the rest of your squad.
- [Caboose] Um, yes,
um well, um but see um,
I am spying on you.
- [Wash] And why are you
spying on me Caboose?
- [Caboose] Well, cause um,
since everyone is kind of scared
of you and uh Carolina.
We think we should try and
get as much information
on you guys as possible.
So where do you guys see yourself
in the next five to 10 years?
- [Wash] Caboose?
You realize that when you spy on someone,
no one's actually supposed to know
that you're spying on them, right?
- [Caboose] Oh yeah, I know.
I just figured you wouldn't tell anyone.
- [Wash] Wait, what makes you think that?
- [Caboose] Oh, come on agent, I mean,
I'm pretty sure we can trust you.
I mean we are friends.
- [Wash] Friend.
- [Carolina] I don't understand.
These are more than memory.
- [Church] His journal
entries were part of
the data that Wash recovered
and they stored them
in his personnel file,
which just so happened to be
one of the many folders
that yours truly picked up.
The last time I visited
a freelancer facility.
Not bad for a rag tag idiot,
if I do say so myself.
Feel free to start begging
for my forgiveness,
whatever you feel like it, Carolina.
- [Carolina] Not happening.
- [Church] What, seriously?
- [Carolina] But I will thank you.
- [Church] Yeah, well I'm pretty great.
- [Carolina] Church, the director
still out there somewhere,
and I need to find him not
just for what he did to me,
but for what he did to
York and to Wash, to Maine,
the twins, to all of them.
And for what he did to you church.
I guess I forgot that
in a way you were there alongside us too.
- [Church] You know, the
more memories I sift through,
the more that sounds like
a pretty damn good plan.
- [Carolina] Find anything
that could help us out?
- [Church] Yeah,
it's a lot of stuff to
remember all at once,
but I might be able to pull
up some of the director's logs
if you gave me some time.
Well, you'll have plenty
of time on our ride back.
- [Church] About that.
Hey, is there any way we
can get back to the others
that doesn't involve me carrying you?
- [Carolina] Wow, church.
I didn't know an AI unit could
get so easily embarrassed.
Tell you what?
Just tell your friends
that you picked me up.
How does that sound?
- [Church] Remind me never to
let you talk to Tucker again.
- [Carolina] All right.
Pack it up people were moving.
- [Grif] Where to now?
- [Carolina] There's
an old ship that crashed
in a freelancer outpost
a few years back.
- [Wash] Outpost 17B?
- [Simmons] You mean we're
going back to Valhalla?
- [Sarge] Back to our own base?
- [Church] That's right assholes.
You're finally going home and
you're taking us with you.
- [Carolina] Ugh, dammit.
(suspenseful music)
- [Sigma] Did the training session
go poorly Agent Carolina?
- [Carolina] No, it went fine.
It's just not good enough.
- [Sigma] That is most unusual for you.
- [Carolina] Why does she
even have a locker in here?
If she doesn't use our locker room?
I mean What is so special about her?
- [Sigma] She does seem
to get special treatment,
doesn't she?
Strange, considering she's
not the best freelancer.
- [Gamma] It's probably because of Omega.
- [Sigma] Now Gamma, we're not
meant to speak about Omega.
You know the rules.
- [Carolina] Well, hello
Gamma, does Wyoming know
you're talking to another AI?
- [Gamma] I am not talking to another AI.
We are both talking to you.
- [Carolina] Who is Omega?
- [Sigma] He is one of our brothers.
- [Gamma] He is the strongest of us.
- [Carolina] And Agent Texas has him?
She uses an AI.
- [Sigma] Hm, I don't think
it's our place to say.
- [Gamma] All the top agents have an AI.
- [Sigma] Well, except you
Carolina, you chose not to.
- [Carolina] That lying,
This all makes sense now,
I have been an idiot.
She's not better than me.
It's all been Omega.
- [Gamma] Omega's strength is unmatched.
I don't know if anyone could beat him.
At least not alone.
- [Sigma] No, no, not alone.
We are just fragments after all, pieces.
Omega and Texas are something else.
- [Gamma] But if we were together,
- [Sigma] Together.
What an interesting concept Gam.
- [Gamma] Together.
- [Carolina] You've just given me an idea.
- [Sigma] I do hope you'll
use it well, Agent Carolina.
Ideas are some of our most potent weapons.
- [Carolina] Don't worry about me.
I'll be fine.
- [Sigma] Yes.
I'm sure you will be.
- [Counselor] How do you feel?
- [Texas] I need to get
back into the fight.
These targets just aren't doing it for me.
- You'll be back in the
field soon enough, Texas.
For now, just focus on your training.
- [Texas] I'm tired of training
I need something else.
- [Counselor] Have you noticed a change
in your aggression, Agent Texas?
- [Texas] I don't see how that
(groans)
- [Director] Carolina?
What are you doing here?
The training room is
off limits when you're
- [Carolina] When you're with your pet?
Yes.
I know.
I don't care.
I need to talk to you.
- [Texas] You know, Counselor.
I think I am noticing a change
in my aggression levels.
- [Counselor] Everyone,
please just remain calm.
Carolina, you can use the training room
when you are next assigned.
- [Carolina] I want an AI.
- [Director] An AI?
What has caused this
sudden change of heart?
- [Carolina] It doesn't matter.
I'm still at the top of the leaderboard,
- [Texas] Not the top of the leaderboard.
- [Carolina] And you can keep
your comments to yourself.
I know all about your little secret.
what you really are.
the next AI that comes up is mine.
- [Texas] Fill me in Carolina,
what exactly is my secret?
- [Director] Both of you stand down.
All right Carolina, if you want an AI,
then you will have an AI.
In fact, you can choose.
Agents Washington and South Dakota
are both due for implantation today.
We have two AI, Eta and Iota
ready for field testing.
Which one of your teammates
you think you should delay?
I'll leave that up to you.
- [Counselor] Director
- [Director] No, if she thinks
our decisions are so easy,
then let her make one.
What's it going to be Carolina?
- [Carolina] And whatever
I choose you will do?
- [Director] That's right!
- [Carolina] Then I want them both.
- [Counselor] Excuse me?
- [Director] Carolina, you
can not have them both.
- [Carolina] Yes, I can.
These suits, wherever they came from
are designed to handle a full AI.
And as you are so fond of
telling us these not full AI,
they're just fragments.
And from what I can tell,
the newer ones are getting
weaker all the time.
So I want them both or I'm sorry,
is that decision too tough for you?
- [Director] Counselor
move agents Washington and South Dakota
back in the schedule and prepare
agent Carolina for surgery.
- [Counselor] I think if we
let cooler heads prevail,
we will
- [Director] If you wanted to deal
with cooler heads Counselor,
perhaps you should have
joined the coast guard.
Prep her for surgery.
- [Carolina] You won't regret this.
- [Director] No, Agent Carolina,
I very much doubt that I will.
(door slams)
- [Texas] Hey, that was gutsy.
Hope it works out for you.
- [Carolina] When it does,
you'll be the first to know.
- [Texas] I look forward to it.
(intense music)
(slow somber music)
- [Wash] Pelican's over there.
That's where Tex ended up.
- [Carolina] You mean
her body ended up there,
- [Wash] Right.
- [Carolina] Show me
- [Simmons] Wait, what about the military?
This can all be a trap, remember?
- [Carolina] What are you talking about?
- [Sarge] Wash told us we
were fugitives of the law,
bandits, cast out by society,
with no hope of redemption.
- [Simmons] Yeah, and that the
UNSC would be waiting for us
when we got back to base.
- [Wash] It was a possibility.
- [Carolina] So let me get this straight.
- [Tucker] Hey, church, over here.
- [Church] Yeah hey, what?
I can't talk too long.
My connection with Carolina's
memory units' not so good.
What's up?
- [Tucker] Uh, not much
my first time here,
so I'm just taking it all in,
really enjoying the scenery.
What about you?
- [Church] Well, I mean, yeah, you know,
now that you mention it,
the trees are kind of nice.
Especially in comparison to
the desolate environment of the
sand and the wait, wait,
wait, wait, what is that it?
- [Tucker] No, that's not it.
What the fuck are you doing with Carolina?
- [Church] Hey, calm down.
It turns out she's more
complicated than we thought.
- [Caboose] Like monopoly.
Or like the board game.
- [Tucker] Church, just because you want
to get close to someone
doesn't mean you have
to end up inside them.
- [Church] Oh, come on.
Aren't you going to say it?
- [Tucker] No because I'm pissed off.
- [Church] All right.
All right, look guys.
I'm still on your side, okay?
But if Carolina is hiding something,
I'm going to have to stay close
to her in order to find it.
See proximity is the key.
- [Tucker] I thought memory was the key.
- [Caboose] Oh yeah and sword,
sword is key too.
- [Tucker] Caboose shut up.
- [Church] Hey I gotta
go, we'll talk later.
- [Caboose] We should
probably get a key ring.
- [Simmons] So are you guys
going to give us anything to do?
- [Carolina] Just sit tight.
In fact don't do anything.
At all.
- [Simmons] Fine.
- [Grif] Now that's the kind
of order I can get behind.
Next do you think she'll
tell us to sleep in tomorrow
or order us to stop bathing for a week?
- [Simmons] Wait, what you're done that?
- [Grif] No, I want to say no
- [Sarge] We've been
sitting dead for days.
If I sit entire I'll strangle my seat.
- [Grif] I'm not worried.
I can use the break.
- [Sarge] We haven't done anything.
- [Grif] Exactly, avoiding
work is kind of what I do.
So if you think about it,
I've been on the clock this entire time.
I should be getting
paid overtime for this.
- [Simmons] You get paid overtime?
- [Grif] Uh, yeah, time and
a half over 40 hours, dude.
Time and a half and a half over 60.
It's a shame there aren't
any numbers higher than 60.
- [Simmons] What?
Seriously?
- [Grif] I've never gotten it though.
One time I thought he did,
but it turns out you have
to do it in just one week.
Could've sworn it was monthly.
- [Simmons] They told me I
wasn't eligible for overtime.
I put in 60 hours a week.
- [Grif] Weird, well tell me
they at least met your 401k.
- [Sarge] Fringe, benefits,
I'm tired of all this waiting.
Come on fellows, now's our chance.
- [Simmons] I don't know.
You know how I feel about
taking chances, sir.
- [Sarge] You said
little Pez was shot here.
Let's go get him back.
Leave no man behind Simmons.
No robot without his nuts.
No warthog unlubed.
- [Simmons] That doesn't make any sense.
- [Grif] He's robot, Simmons.
We can rebuild him and
activate him at any time.
Gives us an edge over those pesky blues.
In the battle of ghost versus robots,
robots always win, except in anime.
- [Simmons] No, I mean,
it didn't make sense why we would do that.
He's an awful soldier.
- [Sarge] But he's a great mechanic.
- [Simmons] Nothing's broken.
- [Sarge] Oh, contraire, Lopez is broken.
You said so yourself.
He can get to work on that.
- [Simmons] But what we
would have to fix him
in order for him to you see
he's the, you know what?
Just nevermind.
- [Sarge] Ah, ha so you see the point.
- [Simmons] Yes, I see the point.
It's just not the one you're making, sir.
Let's go.
- [Grif] Yeah, I think I'll
stay here and take a siesta.
Lopez would have wanted it that way.
- [Sarge] A siesta?
I don't know if I'm angry that
he's bucking responsibility,
or happy that he took my multicultural
squad seminar to heart.
That was one of the best
pep talks I've ever given.
And that's saying something.
- [Simmons] But sir, I gave that seminar.
You made me work on it for weeks.
I even did the traditional
quinceanera dance.
- [Sarge] Oh, couldn't've been that great.
I don't even remember it.
Let's go with Simmons.
- [Caboose] Hey, they're all leaving.
You know what?
I'm gonna see our awesome new base.
It's so much basier than our old one.
I miss it so much!
- [Tucker] So much for sticking together.
- [South] What?
This is Bullshit.
- [North] South, calm down.
- [South] Calm down?
That's easy for you to say,
you already have an AI.
Who the fuck is she to
take away our place?
- [Wash] Our turn will come,
They've already put me
back on the list for
- [South] What?
- [York] You ever notice,
every time you open your mouth,
you make things worse?
- [Wash] Sorry.
- [South] And two AI?
Why is she so special?
What's so special about either of them?
(crashing)
- [Texas] Pick it up.
- [York] What are you doing in here?
You never come in here.
- [Texas] I've come for Carolina.
Pick it up.
(clanking)
- [North] I should probably, I better go.
- [Texas] Where is she?
- [York] Look, Texas.
I don't know if you're looking for a fight
or whatever it is you want,
but now's really not the time.
Carolina just went into surgery.
We don't know when she'll be out.
So we're heading over to
recovery to wait for her.
- [Wash] Yeah.
Recovery one.
Maybe you should come with us.
- [York] Let's go.
You coming Texas?
- [Texas] Yeah, go on York.
I'm right behind ya.
(suspenseful music)
- [Tucker] This is the awesome new base?
It looks the same as the
shitty old base to me.
- [Caboose] Oh you're gonna love it here.
You know, it's like a home away from home
that we can't ever get away from.
- [Tucker] So let me get this straight.
It's just two bases in the
middle of a box canyon.
- [Caboose] Yes.
But on one side, instead of a wall,
there's an endless supply of water.
- [Tucker] Wow.
You guys really know how to upgrade.
Let me guess.
I bet this time we've got
a tank with eight pedals
instead of six.
- [Caboose] Ah, don't be silly.
We don't have a tank.
- [Carolina] All right, what have you got?
- [Wash] Not much a few
shell casings, a dog tag.
- [Carolina] I was talking to church.
- [Wash] Oh, sorry I
- [Church] Hey what's up somebody call me?
- [Carolina] Yeah, find anything yet?
- [Church] Oh, not yet.
But the onboard computer
programs an old friend of mine,
she's doing her best to help me out.
- [Carolina] Good, keep it up.
Wash, is there a reason
you're just standing there
doing nothing?
Get back to it.
- [Wash] Um, right.
Yes sir, boss.
- [Carolina] You can't keep
your secrets forever Texas.
Not from me.
Never from me.
(suspenseful music)
(mechanical whirring)
(supsenseful music continues)
- [Wash] So how's the patient?
- [Wyoming] Should be
coming around any moment.
- [York] What's he in for?
- [Wash] Probably for all the
headaches he's been having.
Did you ever get them after
you were earned Delta?
- [York] At first, it went
away pretty quick though.
The other side effects were way worse.
- [Wash] What other side effects?
- [York] You know, bleeding
from the eyes, ringing ears,
inverted penis.
- [Wash] Inverted what?
- [York] I'm just fucking with you, okay?
Couple of headaches.
That's it.
- [Wash] So what's
different about Maine then?
- [York] Hey, she's awake.
How you feeling Champ?
(sinister music)
- [Carolina] I want a match.
Right now.
- [FILSS] A new challenger has arrived.
Today's matchup is Agent
Texas versus Agent Carolina.
- [York] Okay, just pick
a piece of equipment
you know how to use already.
Or just grab everything and
anything that works too,
I guess.
- [Texas] Hey, I've got this one, Omega.
- [Omega] Gah next time.
- [FILSS] Agent York,
please clear the floor.
- [York] In a second FILSS.
Now at first, the voice of the AI.
Sorry, AI's.
It will feel like a tickle, okay?
Just focus on that and it will get clear.
Trust them.
I know that'll be hard.
But I promise they'll help.
- [FILSS] Agent York,
clear the floor, please.
- [York] In a second, FILSS.
- [FILSS] Clear the floor
or enter the match, York.
Your choice.
- [York] For the record, I
would stay to support you,
but she's really damn scary.
Okay, maybe you're both pretty scary.
Got to go.
- [North] Anyone want to bet
that one of them gets killed?
- [Wash] Are you kidding?
I'm hoping one of us doesn't
get killed just by watching.
- [FILSS] Round begins in
three, two, one, Begin.
Good luck ladies.
- [Agent Tex and Agent Carolina]
Thanks, I won't need it.
(electricity cackles)
(girls cry out in pain)
- [Director] What the
hell is going on here?
No matches have been
authorized for no, Alison.
- [Distorted Voices] Alison!
Alison, Alison, Alison,
Alison, Alison, Alison
Alison, Alison, Alison Alison, Alison
(creaking)
(chirping)
(shrill screaming)
(crying out)
(screaming)
- [Carolina] Make them stop,
make them stop, make them stop the voices.
Make the voices stop.
- [Counselor] Director,
we should sedate Carolina, immediately.
We have no idea how
much damage two AI could
- [Director] No, she made
her decision, let her be.
- [York] Come on, somebody help her.
- [Texas] What the fuck is going on?
Somebody get me out of here.
- [Director] You are all dismissed.
(crying and screaming continue)
- [Iota And Eta] Yes, end her.
Do it.
We know you want to.
Do it, do it, do it.
- [Nurse] Sorry, kid.
This is for your own good.
(sudden alarming music)
- [Carolina] Nothing, nothing, a dead end.
Dammit, not again.
- [Church] Hey, watch it.
I'm still in here.
- [Wash] Response teams.
Beat us to the crash.
Plain and simple.
We knew the chances of finding
something here were slim.
- [Carolina] Okay, well
what about the bases?
- [Wash] Blue base was swept clean.
As for red base, any evidence
that might've been there
was completely destroyed
during the construction
of some kind of giant
holographic projection room.
- [Church] Man,
those guys are really
starting to find creative ways
to ruin my life.
Mother fuckers.
- [Carolina] This is our
third wild goose chase Wash.
Even after she's gone,
Texas is still finding
ways to screw me over.
- [Wash] You can't blame her for this.
Time isn't on our side Carolina,
any trails he left behind
likely went cold years ago.
- [Carolina] Are you
suggesting we give up?
- [Wash] Of course not, I was just
- [Carolina] Good, then
go spread the word.
We're leaving.
- [Wash] But we just got here.
- [Carolina] What's your point?
- [Wash] Well, don't you
think we're pushing these guys
a little too hard?
This place is pretty much home to them.
They may not be ready to leave it so soon.
- [Church] Yeah, I'm
real choked up about it.
- [Carolina] Despite what
those idiots may think.
This is not a road trip.
This is a mission and I
will see it completed.
Is that understood agent Washington?
- [Wash] Yes, boss.
- [Church] Heh, what the
hell happened to that guy?
Didn't he used to be a
bad-ass, just like you and Tex?
Ow, I'm a mess, just like
you, just like just you.
Only you, nobody else.
(radio playing)
- [Sarge] There he is!
Spanish inquisition,
someone's been torturing him.
- [Simmons] Huh, I don't think so, sir.
He kind of looks like a scarecrow.
- [Sarge] Savages,
and they've erected
this fence as a warning
for civilized people to stay away.
- [Simmons] It actually
looks like a garden.
Wait a minute, is that compost?
Sustainable farming?
Environmentally friendly housing?
Oh no.
- [Sarge] What?
- [Donut] Oh hey guys!
I thought I heard voices.
- [Sarge] Donut?
- [Donut] Hi Sarge!
Long time no see!
- [Simmons] I thought you were dead.
- [Sarge] You know,
we sure seem to say that a lot these days.
- [Donut] I almost was.
That jerk Washington
shot me in the stomach,
but then my armor locked up on me.
Kept me alive for a while
until it unlocked again
for some reason.
It was horrible.
Do you know what removes
bloodstains from this armor?
Not a lot, I tell you.
I laid there forever
wondering how I was going
to get all that dark red
out of this light red, ya know?
- [Simmons] How did you survive?
When your armor unlocked, you
would've just bled to death.
- [Sarge] And when did
you get all new age-y?
- [Simmons] Uh oh
- [Sarge] What?
- [Simmons] Sarge, think about it.
Medical attention?
Cringe holistic lifestyle choices?
You know what that means?
- [Doc] Wow, look what the cat dragged in?
And by dragged in I mean,
spit out like a hairball.
Hey guys.
- [Sarge] Simmons, is that Doc behind us?
- [Simmons] I think so.
- [Sarge] Simmons, get my gun.
- [Simmons] You're holding it, sir.
- [Sarge] Oh, right.
Simmons, I'm gonna need
you to commence Operations
Point My Gun At Doc.
- [Simmons] But sir,
Operation Point My Gun At Doc
was just a code phrase for
Operation Point My Gun At Grif.
- [Sarge] Fine, switch to
Operation Point My Gun At Grif.
- [Simmons] Hey actually sir,
that one was just what it sounds like.
Sorry.
- [Sarge] Double drat.
- [Carolina] Hey you, orange one.
Where's the rest of your team?
- [Grif] How should I know?
- [Carolina] You don't
report into each other?
- [Grif] Oh yeah.
I mean, I get reports.
- [Carolina] You might be the
worst soldiers I've ever met.
- [Grif] Hey, I take offense at that.
What do you mean, might be?
- Here they come.
Let's move out.
- [Grif] Hey guys, did you find Lopez?
- [Simmons] Yeah, Donut
nailed him to a board.
He's staying here.
- [Grif] I thought Donut was dead.
- [Sarge] Yeah, we really
need to stop saying that.
- [Simmons] He almost was,
but Doc fixed him up and
now they live together.
They say hi by the way.
Oh, and they baked us this banana bread.
- [Grif] How nice!
I'm going to have to forget
to send them a thank you card.
Hey Simmons, when you say
Donut nailed Lopez to a board.
- [Simmons] I mean with nails.
- [Grif] Okay.
Had to ask.
- [Simmons] No, no, I understand.
I, I should've been clearer.
That's my fault.
- [Tucker] Hey, what's the deal.
We're leaving already?
- [Carolina] That's right.
You got a problem with that?
- [Church] Uh, Carolina why
don't you let me handle this.
Tucker, what do you want?
- [Tucker] I want to know what
you found out about Carolina.
Is she evil?
Is she crazy?
Is she crazy evil?
- [Caboose] Is she pretty?
- [Tucker] Oh yeah, is she hot?
Oh, or is she a dude?
- [Church] Guys
I've got more important
things to do right now.
- [Tucker] What are you talking about?
You're supposed to be spying on her.
She's the enemy, remember?
Us against them.
- [Church] Hey, you don't know
anything about her Tucker.
You have no idea what she's been through.
- [Tucker] Since when did, look.
- [Church] Would you guys
just get in the fucking car
so we can leave already?
Thank you.
- [Carolina] What was that about?
- [Church] Nothing.
I need to talk to you.
- [Texas] How's she doing?
- [North] No idea.
Docs thought she would've woken up by now.
But she's still under.
- [Texas] How long has he been there?
- [North] He hasn't left her side yet.
- [Texas] It's been days.
- [North] And he's dedicated.
- [Texas] You know, your sister petitioned
to get one of Carolina's AI's.
- [North] She didn't.
- [Texas] Sure did.
- [North] I'll talk to her.
That's inappropriate.
- [Texas] Yeah, inappropriate's a word.
So is vulture.
Piece of advice, one soldier to another,
You watch her.
- [North] Something's different with you.
- [Texas] You have an AI, right?
- [North] Theta, yeah.
- [Texas] Take'd some getting used to?
- [North] I'll say.
- [Texas] Well, let's just say mine
took a little longer than most.
I'm not sure I want to depend on him.
- [North] You've been pulling him.
- [Texas] Haven't used them in days.
- [North] Does the director know?
- [Texas] No, and he's not going to.
No one needs to know.
- [North] They have to
stop implanting now.
I mean, after this.
- [Texas] Wash's up for surgery next.
- [North] You're kidding me.
- [Texas] Eh, time marches on.
So does Project Freelancer.
- [North] Yeah,
and lately it seems like
we're getting trampled
in the process.
- [Texas] Hey call me when she
wakes up or if she doesn't.
- [North] Will do.
- [Theta] I think I'm starting to like her
at least better than I did before.
- [North] Yeah, she grows on you.
- [Theta] Still scary tho.
- [North] Oh yeah, plenty scary.
(chiming)
- [Counselor] Are you there Alpha?
Are you there?
- [Alpha] Yes, I'm here, I'm here.
Hello?
Don't leave, hey Counselor?
Are you there?
- [Counselor] I'm here.
- [Alpha] What, what happened?
Is everybody okay?
- [Counselor] Perhaps you
should ask the Director.
- [Alpha] Why, does that
means something happened?
- [Director] Hello Alpha.
- [Alpha] Director,
please what is going on?
- [Director] There was another incident,
Security failed.
- [Alpha] I gave you the
schematics they're just,
they're too complex.
I just need more time to work on them.
- [Director] It's not your fault.
- [Alpha] How can you say that?
Of course it is.
Was anybody hurts?
- [Director] I am sorry, yes.
Washington and another died.
- [Alpha] Who?
- [Director] I can't say.
- [Alpha] Who?
Who died?
[Director] - Agent Texas.
[Alpha] - No!
Oh my God.
No.
Oh no!
God no!
- [Director] That's too far Gamma
- [Sigma] We need stronger stimulus.
He'll break.
- [Counselor] He's ready
bring in the statis unit.
- [Director] You three, log off.
- [Sigma] Director,
we would like to see
this part of the process.
- [Director] You can't get near
the artifact, too dangerous.
Your job is done.
Log off.
- [Sigma] As you wish.
- [Director] Get us another memory unit,
A new one.
Don't let it touch anything else.
(eerie music)
- [Counselor] Move all other
equipment away from it.
- [Director] That's right, it's broken.
We broke it and we need you to fix it.
Just like you've done before.
Here take this.
Use this to fix it.
Make it better.
Take away all that is broken.
That's right.
Put them in here.
(beeping)
- [Counselor] It is done.
- [Director] Welcome
to the world, Epsilon.
Today is your birthday.
- [Grif] Hey Simmons.
- [Simmons] Yeah.
- [Grif] You ever wonder why we're here?
- [Simmons] You mean metaphysically?
- [Grif] No I mean,
why are we going through all this trouble
just to find one guy?
- [Simmons] I dunno,
he's evil or something?
- [Grif] Yeah but so what?
I don't have a problem with him.
- [Simmons] He's the one that
started all of this, you know?
He's the reason that we have
to deal with the freelancers
and the AIs and the Meta.
I mean, when you think about it.
He's the reason why we're here.
- [Sarge] Yep. he's a
real dirt bag all right.
But, even if he is 6 feet under,
we'll still be in the same damn spot.
- [Simmons] Uh, sir?
- [Sarge] All I'm saying is
we made it back to base in one piece
and even found the rest of our team.
So do you boys really
think running off again
will make things any better?
Cause the way I see it, leaving this place
is only going to make things worse.
- [Grif] Hm, I guess
you have a point Sarge.
- [Sarge] Shut up Grif.
- [Carolina] Church, can't this wait?
- [Church] No, it can't.
Carolina, the guys are terrified of you.
- [Carolina] What's your point?
- [Church] My point is
that they think you're a killer psychopath
and you can't be trusted
but I know they're wrong.
I know why you're doing all of this.
And I know you're not really crazy.
- [Carolina] Gee, thanks Church.
You certainly know how to
make a girl feel special.
- [Church] What I don't know
what happened between you and Tex.
- [Carolina] I don't want to
- [Church] You mentioned
her name back on the island.
- [Carolina] What does Tex
have to do with anything?
- [Church] Well, a lot, apparently
because every time I bring her up,
you act like you're gonna to
put your fist through something
and then you do sometimes.
- [Carolina] That's ridiculous, I don't
- [Church] Look, I
understand you're angry.
I'm angry too.
The director's a fucking dickhead
and we're going to make him pay.
But Tex was your friend, right?
- [Carolina] My friend?
Who the hell gave you that idea?
- [Church] Well, she did.
Look she was a total bitch,
Trust me, I know.
But she told me once
that she would have given
anything to save you.
I don't know what she meant exactly.
But if you really want to
take down the director,
you gotta pull yourself together.
You know, you, you got to let it go.
- [Carolina] You say that
like, I'm sad she's gone,
but I'm not.
I hated her.
I couldn't compete.
- [Church] That doesn't matter anymore.
- [Carolina] But even she
couldn't find the director.
Agent Texas, the best of the best.
How the hell am I supposed
to do what she couldn't?
- [Church] Carolina, if
she was really the best,
then she would be standing
here right now, not you.
Let it go.
What is that?
- [Carolina] They're are her dog tags.
Wash found them in the crash.
- [Church] Tex didn't wear dog tags.
- [Carolina] Connie?
- [Church] It looks like
some kind of data unit.
- [Carolina] Can you tell me what's on it?
- [Church] Only one way to find out.
And hey, if I'm not out
in like three months,
don't bother coming in looking for me.
Just move on with your lives.
Okay, I'm gonna go now.
(electronic beeping)
- [CT] Agent Texas, Alison,
if you're reading this,
then that means I escaped.
Or well, at the very least,
I'm probably not around anymore.
- [Counselor] He is ready.
- [Director] Hand me
the Epsilon unit please.
- [CT] I want to leave behind
all the data I've been collecting
about Project Freelancer.
I never could shake the feeling
that something was wrong
with the program, the secrets, the lies,
the manipulation, smoke, all of it
obscuring a big damn fire.
I did some digging and now
I know what the director
has been hiding.
What he did.
He broke the law Alison,
the one law they don't just
slap you on the wrist for.
I'm taking the originals with
me as an insurance policy.
I leave this copy for you not because
you are the best soldier of the squad,
but because I know that
I can trust you the most.
After reading these files,
you will understand why.
Good luck.
Your friend, Connie.
(electronic chiming)
(suspenseful music)
(mechanical whirring)
- [Female] Stop it put that thing down.
- [Counselor] Agent
Washington, vitals are spiking.
- [Female] Leonard, come on.
- [Director] Secure him!
Get him under control.
- [Female] You're gonna make me late.
(electronic beeping)
(Wash screaming)
I have to go.
But don't say goodbye,
I hate goodbyes.
- [Director] Get him to recovery.
- [Counselor] Yes, sir.
- [Director] Counselor,
I'd like to speak with him
as soon as he wakes up.
- [Counselor] Of course sir.
What was that he said about goodbyes?
Director, director?
- [Church] Carolina?
I know where to find the director.
- [Carolina] What?
How?
- [Church] I just remembered.
Everything.
- [Malcolm] Dear Director,
your request for more bases
in which to conduct your experiments
was reviewed with much
reservation by our Chairperson.
Project Freelancer has been entrusted
with one of our militaries
most valuable assets.
Oversight becomes a much
more difficult process.
If your operations are not centralized.
Nonetheless, we have granted your request.
However, we reserve the
right to revoke this approval
as we see fit.
I sincerely hope this does not happen
and anticipate you will not
give us an occasion to do so.
- [North] Oh, oh there you are
Slowly, slowly.
- [Wash] How long was I out?
- [North] Only a few days this time.
- [Wash] This time?
- [North] Yep after they removed it.
- [Wash] Removed it?
- [North] It's gone.
They're going to remove all of them.
They started with you.
- [South] Yeah, thanks asshole.
The whole process is on hold now.
- [Wash] What about Carolina?
- [Carolina] I'm not giving them up
just because he's made a recalculation.
You owe me this.
- [Director] Carolina
you're acting like a child.
This is not about you.
This is about the project.
- [Counselor] It would be wise
to listen to the Director.
Agent Texas has already attempted
to steal Wyoming's AI unit.
If she were to come after you
- [Carolina] Then she would get
more than she bargained for.
- [North] Carolina's had it kind of rough.
The director's considering
sending her to hunt down Texas.
- [Wash] Hunt her down?
- [South] She went rogue,
broke out of the facility
in order to save her precious AI.
Little later we found Wyoming,
apparently she tried to steal his AI unit.
Tried to get his equipment too.
- [North] That hasn't been proven.
Besides that doesn't sound like her.
- [South] How do you know?
- [North] Just trust me, I know.
And believe me if she had done it,
there wouldn't have been
anything left of Wyoming to find.
- [South] She's not a
fucking monster North.
- [Wash] You guys are
giving me a headache.
- [North] Once they find Texas,
they'll bring her back.
- [Alarm System] Intruder alert.
Intruder alert.
Breach in security.
Level zero.
- [North] Or, she'll come back on her own.
- [Texas] Great job York.
- [York] I swear this never happens to me.
- [Texas] I'm sure you say
that to all the ladies.
- [York] Seriously I'm way
better at this than it seems.
- [Texas] Look, we don't have much time.
I need you to find a way
to distract them for me.
Be careful.
- [York] Gotcha, what about you?
- [Texas] There's someone I need to see.
- [Tucker] Let me get this straight.
You guys built an enormous room,
capable of creating realistic
holographic simulation,
but you couldn't figure out
how to walk across the canyon
to capture our flag.
- [Simmons] Actually Lopez built it.
- [Tucker] Okay, now that I believe.
- [Simmons] And if you recall,
we did manage to capture your flag.
So, you know, suck it blue.
- [Caboose] Oh yeah, well
our team has the most kills.
- [Sarge] Team kills don't count bluetard.
- [Caboose] You don't make the rules.
- [Wash] Technically Project
Freelancer makes the rules.
And I say blue team gets to
add my kill count to theirs.
- [Grif] Lame.
- [Carolina] Listen up.
We've got big news.
(Caboose gasps)
- [Caboose] You and Wash
are taking your relationship
to the next level I knew it.
The writing was over the walls.
- [Church] No.
We found the director.
- [Caboose] Church!
You're big again!
What has she been feeding you?
- [Wash] You know where
the director is hiding?
- [Carolina] That's right.
- [Church] He's holed up
in one of his off-site storage facilities.
Similar to the ones
that we've seen before.
- [Carolina] But we have no
idea what kind of modifications
the director may have made to the compound
over the last few years.
- [Wash] Or if he has any
sort of security with him.
- [Carolina] Essentially, we
need to be ready for anything.
So let's go over the plan.
- [Tucker] What plan?
- [Church] The plan to
take down the director.
- [Grif] Uh, I thought the plan
was we help you find`the director.
- [Simmons] Yeah, and now we found him.
Good job everyone.
Way to hustle out there.
- [Carolina] The plans changed.
- [Wash] So then what exactly is the plan?
- [Carolina] Infiltrate the facility
and neutralize all hostiles.
- [Grif] Right.
What's our plan though?
- [Carolina] That is your plan.
I'm counting on all of you.
- [Grif] But you said we
were the worst soldiers
you've ever met.
And you were right.
You're fairly perceptive.
- [Carolina] Look,
I just need enough time to
make it to the director.
- [Wash] So then we're just a distraction?
- [Carolina] No Wash.
You're on lock duty.
I need you with me.
- [Caboose] Um, we have to fight
all the bad guys by ourselves.
- [Tucker] Fuck that.
- [Wash] Yeah Carolina,
maybe I should stick with the others.
- [Carolina] Leave
personnel decisions to me,
Agent Washington.
- [Church] Look, will
you guys quit complaining
and do something for once?
- [Sarge] Son are you forgetting
who's saved your sorry coast ass
from the military?
- [Simmons] Yeah we almost
died trying to flank you.
- [Church] Oh, Boohoo.
Why do you come back when
you're on your second
or third life, then we'll compare notes.
- [Grif] Wow.
Fuck off blue.
- [Carolina] Where do
you think you're going?
- [Grif] I'm going home.
- [Church] Oh, that's great, Grif.
You know, we can always
count on you to duck out
when there's work to do.
- [Sarge] Well you can count me out too.
- [Carolina] What?
- [Sarge] Don't get me wrong.
Busting into a military
base on a rescue mission
is a lot of fun.
But I'm not getting
turned into swiss cheese
just so the two of you can
finish some personal vendetta.
This ain't our fight.
- [Simmons] Took the words
right out of my mouth, sir.
- [Carolina] Both of you be quiet.
- [Tucker] Dude this is bullshit.
- [Church] Tucker!
- [Carolina] Be quiet.
That's an order.
- [Tucker] Well guess what psycho,
I don't take orders from you anymore.
- [Carolina] Well, what about now?
- [Wash] Don't do that.
- [Carolina] Wash, what are you doing?
- [Wash] Protecting my friends.
Now lower the weapon.
- [Carolina] You're siding with them?
- [Church] Wash, I don't understand.
We found the director.
We can make him pay.
This is what we wanted.
- [Wash] All I want is for you to leave.
I've already been responsible
for enough of their problems
in the past.
And I'll be damned before
I let you cause any more.
- [Church] So that's it.
You're just going to turn your back on us.
- [Wash] Epsilon, I know that
- [Church] No, no, you're right.
You know, I guess I should've
seen that one coming.
It's not exactly like
you're new to the concept.
Is it?
- [Sarge] That's a little harsh,
- [Church] But you guys?
After all the shit you've put me through?
I really thought at least
you would have my back.
- [Grif] Us?
What the hell did we do?
- [Church] You shot me through the head.
You put a bomb in my guts to
kill me with my own damn tank.
And that's just how we met.
- [Tucker] Church calm
down, what's your problem?
- [Church] You're my problem.
You've always been my problem.
Each and every one of
you is just a problem
that I have to deal with on a daily basis.
Guys.
Guys, wait a minute.
Caboose.
- [Carolina] Forget it Church.
We don't need them.
- [Wash] I don't know what's
gotten into you Carolina.
But you better figure out the difference
between your enemies
and your friends.
- [Alarm System] Intruder alert.
intruder alert.
Breach in security
level zero.
- [Carolina] It's the resistance.
- [Director] No, it's agent Texas.
And her damn partner in crime.
- [Counselor] We should
get back to the lab
Director, we must follow protocol.
- [Director] Carolina, look at me.
You know what needs to be done.
- [Carolina] I do.
- [Director] Then do it.
(rapid intense rock music)
♪ Sweet inner silence ♪
♪ More than ♪
♪ Still your breath ♪
♪ Revel in the process ♪
♪ Whisper ♪
♪ Save your breath ♪
♪ We are the prophets of Jesus ♪
♪ We are controlling the game ♪
♪ Don't even know all our secrets. ♪
♪ When it's all over we will pay ♪
♪ Don't open up your eyes ♪
♪ And wait for the darkness ♪
(music continues)
♪ You don't want to
see what's grown deep ♪
♪ Now in silence ♪
♪ What we don't become ♪
♪ Is just lies and disguises ♪
- [South] You think
you're so fucking tough.
Don't you Texas.
Well, let me ask you something.
Who's the monster now bitch?
- [Texas] Ah shit.
- [Solider 1] Dude, We
get to fight with Wyoming.
- [Solider 2] Awesome.
- [Wyoming] Just clear the room lads.
- [In Unison] All clear sir!
- [Wyoming] Dear God its
likes idiots in stereo.
- [Solider 1] Haha nice zinger sir.
- [Solider 2] Kiss ass.
- [Solider 1] Shut up
- [Wyoming] Look over there.
Now where are you hiding.
Knock, knock mate.
- [York] Hey, who's there?
(gunshot)
- [Solider 1] It's York!
[York] Knock knock.
- [Wyoming] Ah yes let's play.
Who's there?
- [York] It's York.
- [Wyoming] Hello.
Who's there?
- [York] I told you, it's York.
- [Wyoming] It's York who?
(crashes)
- [York] It's your catch asshole.
Talk about knock knocks.
(crashing)
(gunfire)
(intense music fades)
- [North] Well hello ladies.
What seems to be the problem?
- [South] North you know
what the problem is.
This bitch stabbed us in the back.
And now it's time to return the favor.
Who's side are you on brother?
- [North] Tex, take a walk.
I need to have a little
chat with my sister
- [Texas] North, you sure?
- [North] Go, this is a family matter.
(crashing)
(electronic whooshing)
(explosion)
- [Texas] Hey York,
I could use that
distraction right about now.
- [York] Read you loud and clear Tex.
One distraction coming right up.
- [Texas] York make it a big one.
- [York] Hey relax, it's me.
- [Carolina] Dammit York.
- [Director] What the hell is going on?
Who was shooting at us?
- [Counselor] We are.
- [Texas] You call that big?
Men.
(gun fire)
- [Solider] She's over there.
I got her.
(explosions)
Jesus lady.
(grunts)
What the
Oh.
(mechanical whirring)
Hey bitch, catch.
(solider screams)
(mechanical whirring)
- [York] Hello, what have we here?
This looks important.
(Grunts)
Hey Delta, I think we could get
in a lot of trouble in here.
- [Delta] I think we are already
in a lot of trouble York.
- [York] Hmm, let's test that theory.
(music intensifies)
- [Solider] Ah, whoa hey!
(tank fires)
(slow solemn music starts)
- [York] Carolina.
Let's not do this.
It doesn't have to be this way.
- [Carolina] What are you doing here?
Why are you helping her?
- [York] It's not about her.
I'm trying to do the right thing.
You should too.
- [Carolina] I am doing the right thing.
I'm not deserting.
She just wants your AI York.
She already went after Wyoming.
- [York] Is that what they told you?
- [Carolina] I'm going to stop her.
I have to.
- [York] You don't have to prove anything.
Come on, let's leave this place.
We can get you help
and get those damn
things out of your head.
You can trust me.
- [Carolina] Maybe,
but you can trust me.
(slow paced grunting)
(slow somber piano music)
- [York] Carolina
(slow sorrowful piano music continues)
- [Carolina] Don't even think about it.
- [Texas] Don't try to stop me.
(intense orcestral music begins)
(Carolina and Tex grunting)
Give it up, Carolina.
- [Carolina] Never I can beat you.
- [Texas] No you can't.
(suspenseful orchestrals continue)
You can't win Carolina,
but you can come with me.
(music intensifies)
(spaceship screeching)
- [Carolina] Whoa!
(thunderous crashing)
- [Texas] Hey there.
- [Church] Huh?
Oh, hello.
Who are you?
- [Texas] You don't know me?
- [Church] Oh, sorry.
I'm just, I'm tired.
I'm really tired um.
My name is uh, it's uh.
- [Texas] Your name is Alpha.
your Church,
- [Church] Right, Church.
That's me.
And you are?
- [Texas] Let's just say
we used to be together.
- [Church] Oh, okay.
- [Texas] I need you to come with me.
- [Church] Oh, I don't
think I can, but thanks.
I think I'm just gonna
stay here, you know?
And rest.
- [Texas] You don't want to leave?
- [Church] I just, I don't think I can.
- [Texas] Okay.
Maybe you just rest then.
- [Church] Yeah, what was your, name?
Your name again?
- [Texas] It's Texas.
- [Church] Texas, like the state?
- [Texas] Yeah.
- [Church] Funny name for a girl.
- [Texas] Well, Church is
pretty funny name for a guy.
- [Church] Yeah, I guess you're right.
- [Texas] You gave me this name, you know.
- [Church] I wonder why I did that.
- [Texas] Well maybe
if you think about it,
it'll come to you.
- [Church] Yeah.
Hey, I'm going to rest now,
but thanks for coming by.
- [Texas] Okay, you rest.
Church?
- [Church] Yeah?
- [Texas] Goodbye.
- [Church] Huh, I don't know
why, but I hate goodbyes.
- [Texas] Me too.
- [Church] Okay.
See ya.
Crazy state named lady.
- [Texas] Goodbye.
(wind whooshing)
- [Carolina] What are you doing?
- [Texas] No, no!
(suspenseful music)
No!
(eerie music begins)
- [Sigma] You run, Agent Texas.
We are the meta, and we
will find you very soon.
- [Carolina] How many?
- [Church] None.
- [Carolina] Really?
You're sure?
- [Church] Positive.
We're alone.
It's up here.
- [FILSS] I am sorry,
this is a secure facility.
Only authorized personnel may enter.
- [Carolina] FILSS is that you?
What's happened to you?
- [FILSS] This is a secure facility.
Only authorized personnel may enter.
Please leave the premises immediately.
- [Carolina] FILSS
this is Agent Carolina
of Project Freelancer
acknowledge and go for secure.
- [FILSS] I am sorry.
I recognize that designation,
but only authorized personnel
may enter this facility.
- [Carolina] Church?
- [Church] Open the door FILSS.
- [FILSS] Certainly,
welcome back Director,
I did not expect to see you
again so soon.
- [Carolina] Thank you.
- [Church And FILSS] My pleasure.
- [FILSS] Strange.
I was unaware you had left Director.
I will have to scan my
files and find the error.
- [Church] Left?
- [FILSS] Yes.
Since his last visit.
- [Carolina] So you show the
director inside the facility
as well as outside?
- [FILSS] Strange is it not?
- [Carolina] Yes.
Strange and exactly
what we were hoping for.
- [Grif] Well, this is depressing.
- [Sarge] Can it private.
- [Grif] What?
I'm just saying what we're all thinking.
- [Sarge] You didn't say
you were fat and worthless.
And we were definitely all thinking that.
- [Tucker] All right.
You know the drill.
- [Simmons] Do we have to?
- [Wash] That depends.
How badly do you want your flag back?
- [Grif] Don't look at me, it's your turn.
- I would just like to let
everyone know that I suck.
And that I'm a girl
- You know, it was funny
and I'm losing my hair
- the first few times,
but this is starting to get depressing
- [Wash] Yeah
- [Simmons] And I want
to kiss all the boys.
- [Wash] Hey, what else have you got?
- [Grif] Nothing,
that stupid flag was the
only thing we have left.
- [Simmons] Actually,
there's still one thing you haven't taken.
- [Tucker] Whoa.
- [Sarge] Great Ginsu Gun show.
- [Wash] Is that what I think it is?
Is that who's I think it is?
- [Simmons] Stolen alien weaponry
used by the scariest mute
in the galaxy?
Yeah, pretty much.
- [Sarge] It's like,
half knife, half rifle.
What would you call that?
- [Tucker] I don't
know, but we'll take it.
- [Grif] No, there was no way
I'm giving up the Grif shot.
- [Tucker] Oh please.
What were you going to do?
Eat off it?
- [Grif] Uh actually dick head.
I asked Donut to mount
it for me in the base
- [Donut] And you know, I
can't resist a good mounting.
- [Wash] You've been hiding one
of the most advanced pieces of
technology known to man,
so you can hang it in your living room?
- [Grif] Well, when you say
it like that, it sounds dumb.
- [Wash] That's because it is dumb.
- [Doc] I think it's kinda cool,
I mean, when I met you guys,
all you did was stand around and talk.
But now you can't walk five feet
without getting wrapped up
in some crazy adventure.
- [Sarge] What's your point?
- [Doc] I don't know.
I just thought it was cool.
I mean, come on, you guys have
been through a lot together.
Don't you want something to
remember all the good times?
- [Tucker] The good times?
I was stranded in the desert,
- [Simmons] We were almost killed.
- [Sarge] I learned what
our entire military career
was a lie.
- [Wash] And I got shot.
(whistling)
- [Doc] Okay, yeah, it wasn't perfect,
but look what you all got out of it.
- [Sarge] You mean the rifle knife?
- [Grif] You mean the Grif shot.
- [Doc] Sure there's that.
But Sarge, you finally got to lead
an actual military operation.
And Tucker, you learned
how to use your sword
like a pro.
- [Tucker] Bow Chicka bow wow.
- [Doc] You found a new team.
Simmons got back his old team.
I finally managed to
keep a patient from dying
- [Donut] and in return I didn't die.
You see?
In the end, we all worked together
and everyone got what they wanted.
- [Caboose] Not everyone.
- [Wash] You realize that
if you go after them,
there's no promise you'll come back.
This isn't a game to the director.
He plays for keeps.
- [Sarge] Ah well,
this place was getting
kind of stale anyways.
- [Wash] After everything
Church and Carolina said?
The way they treated you.
- [Simmons] Hey, we gave
you a second chance.
- [Grif] Besides, if we quit every time
Church started shouting,
this shit would've been
over a long time ago.
- [Wash] We'll be out gunned.
We'll be out everything.
This is stupid.
Just think for a minute before
you do anything reckless.
- [Sarge] Son,
stupid and reckless is how
we always get things done.
- [Wash] But Sarge, I
- [Sarge] No.
There's one thing you freelancers
always seem to forget.
That's the fact that we've managed
to kick your ass time and time again.
Oh sure you've got all your smart plans
and your fancy technology
and your advanced training.
But in the end, what does that got you?
Without a team you can count on,
without your fellow soldier by your side,
All that really doesn't
amount to squat, now does it?
So instead of standing
there belly aching all day,
just tell us.
Are you going to keep playing it safe,
or do you want to get a little reckless?
- [Wash] This has to
be the worst idea ever,
but you can count me in.
- [Donut] Me too.
- [Caboose] Oh this has made!
You guys are making me so happy.
- [Doc] Me too.
Man this is so cool.
I love inclusive you guys have become,
I'm going to go pack my
medical gear for the trip.
- [Simmons] Uh, guys.
They've got a huge head start.
How we're supposed to reach them in time?
- [Solider] Freeze, this is an ambush.
You are under arrest for
the theft of USNC property.
- [Simmons] What?
We really are wanted
criminals of the USNC?
- [Grif] Holy shit, Wash was right?
- [Wash] Oh, you've got
to be fucking kidding me.
- [Soldiers] Surrender
now, you are out numbered,
Well, technically you're
not really numbered,
I think we have the same number.
It's like one to one.
We do have air ships.
Fast, easy to pilot air ships,
Which we will land in
order to take you to jail.
- [Caboose] Goodbye people
we stole these planes from.
- [Solider] Mother fucker.
- [Grif] Man, this is awesome.
Hey Simmons, who's blue guy
with the yellow accents?
His voice sounds familiar.
- [Simmons] Oh right,
funny story about that.
- [Church] I don't like this.
- [Carolina] Me neither.
Where is everyone?
- [Church] That's not it.
I've just got a weird case of deja vu
- [Alison] Don't worry
you'll see me again.
- [Director] Play it again FILSS.
- [FILSS] Sir, you really
should stop to eat.
It has been several days.
- [Director] Again.
- [Carolina] You're not the only one.
- [Church] This is it.
- [Carolina] Ready to meet your maker?
- [Church] I've got your back Carolina
Oh no,
- [Carolina] Church, what is this?
- [Church] He kept trying, he
kept trying to get her right?
- [Carolina] You think these things
are anything like the real deal?
(footsteps)
- [Tex robot] You have no idea
what kind of trouble you are in.
- [Carolina] All right, me first.
(rapid gunfire)
- [Church] Watch your left!
(gunshot)
Oh I think I'm going to be sick.
(gunshots)
(Carolina grunts)
(suspenseful music)
(whooshing)
(crashing)
Watch out!
- [Carolina] Could you be
a little more specific?
- [Church] Yeah, uh, sorry, Carolina.
But seeing this many
ex-girlfriends in one room,
kinda has me terrified beyond the capacity
for rational thought.
- [Carolina] Well snap out of it.
I need you.
- [Church] Need me for what?
Turn, break right.
Carolina, I don't think
I can do this for longer.
- [Carolina] Just hold on.
- [Church] Seriously
you need to slow down.
- [Carolina] No.
I can do this.
- You really want to win.
- Carolina
- No doubt about it
- Carolina calm down.
- Real hero Carolina.
- Get ahold of yourself!
- [Texas] You can't win Carolina
- [Church] Come on, get up.
- [Carolina] She was right.
I can't do this.
I can't beat her.
I could never beat her.
- [Texas Robot] Better
luck next time, Carolina.
(beeping)
- [Donut] Nine points you dirty whores.
(Carolina gasps)
- [Wash] Get up.
- [Carolina] What are you doing here?
- [Wash] I told you they're not so bad
once you get to know em.
- [Church] Oh, I thought
this wasn't your fight.
- [Sarge] Come on, overwhelming odds
with little to no chance of success?
How could we resist?
- [Tucker] You got a
problem with that Church?
- [Church] Guys, I'm an asshole.
I admit it and I will gladly
accept any and all smart ass
remarks after this is over,
but I would like to point out
the fact that we're standing
in a room full of crazy freelancer robots
that are ready to completely
and utterly fuck our shit up.
- [Tucker] So cheesy
forgiveness speech later,
- [Sarge] Yeah, that sounds good.
- [Carolina] Lock and load people.
♪ Roses are red and violets are blue ♪
- [Church] Caboose?
I need to get a little angry okay buddy?
- [Caboose] Okay, I don't
remember how to do that.
- [Church] I do.
- [Caboose] My name is Michael J. Caboose
and I hate taxes.
- [Grif] It's Texas you idiot.
- [Caboose] That too.
(gun firing)
- [Simmons] Come on,
everyone, now's our chance.
- [Sarge] For our ancestors'
ancestors, attack.
(tense music)
Donut look out!
- [Donut] Oh no!
No!
- [Tucker] Okay, we're done here.
(air whooshing)
(Carolina grunts)
(gun firing)
(rapid gunfire)
- [Donut] Ow!
Not again!
- [Simmons] Oh come on,
you had to see that coming.
(gun fire continues)
- [Simmons] It's not working,
there's too many of them.
- [Wash] Epsilon, do you
remember how the Alpha
was able to stop the Meta?
- [Church] Yeah but that was
one guy, not a hundred of them.
- [Wash] There's only one Tex.
And Church.
Nobody knows her like you.
- [Church] All right,
stand back everybody.
This is gonna get a little, personal.
(sporadic gunfire continues)
- [Church] Hey there.
- [Texas] Huh, who the hell are you?
- [Church] You don't, you don't know me?
- [Texas] Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm just really tired.
And
I'm really tired.
My name's
- [Church] Your name is Allison.
You're Tex.
- [Texas] Right, right Tex.
That's me.
And you're?
- [Church] Let's just say
we, we used to be close.
- [Texas] Oh, okay.
- [Church] I need you to rest now Tex.
- [Texas] Uh, rest I'd like that.
- [Church] I thought you might.
I uh, look, I have to go
now, but you just rest okay?
Goodbye.
- [Texas] Weird.
I don't know why, but I hate goodbyes.
- [Church] I know why.
Goodbye.
(mechanical whirring)
- [Grif] Uh, you know, you
could have done that before
I got punched in the nuts
by 20 of them at once?
- [Tucker] Yeah,
but where's the fun in that?
- [Sarge] Nice going in there Church,
I guess sometimes little fairies
really do make wishes come true.
- [Donut] I could have told you that.
- [Simmons] So, I guess
our work here is done?
- [Church] There's still the director.
- [Caboose] No.
- [Church] What comes next,
Carolina and I can do alone.
- [FILSS] Beginning playback.
- [Tex] Leonard, come on.
Stop it, put that thing down.
You're going to make me late.
They're waiting for me.
Leonard
- [Carolina] Hello Director.
- [Director] Hello Agent Carolina.
Would you like to watch this file with me?
- [Carolina] No.
- [Director] Play it again FILSS.
- [FILSS] Director?
- [Director] Again.
- [Carolina] So, this is what you become.
- [Director] I just need to watch this.
I think I have a way,
a way to bring her back right this time.
- [Carolina] The authorities
are hunting you now.
If I found you, they will too.
- [Director] I just need a bit more time.
- [Church] No, you've
had your fucking time.
You have to answer for
what you did to the Meta,
to Washington, to Carolina,
to me and to her, to Texas.
- [Director] Hello Epsilon.
You came all this way just to see me.
- [Church] I'm here to
remember what you've done.
Somebody has to.
- [Carolina] Church?
- [Ai's Voices] Not all of us
got off scott-free Carolina.
He was brilliant.
And we trusted him, but he lied
to us, he twisted and tortured us.
And used us, manipulated
us for his own purposes
and for what?
For what, for this?
This, this, Shadow?
He needs to pay.
- [Tex] Leonard, come on.
I have to go,
don't make me hurt you.
Don't worry.
You'll see me again.
(somber piano music)
Ready?
- [Director] Just a bit more time.
- [Carolina] Come on,
church, we're leaving.
- [Church] I thought we came
all this way to kill him.
- [Carolina] Church,
remember what you learned
in the memory unit?
You need to let go.
Your past doesn't define who you are.
Just gives you the starting point
for who you're going to be.
- [Director] Agent Carolina.
- [Carolina] Yes, Director?
- [Director] Would you be so kind
as to leave me your pistol?
Thank you, Carolina.
- [Carolina] Goodbye, sir.
- [Director] You were
my greatest creation.
- [Church] I don't know what
I am, but I do know this.
I'm more than just a copy of you.
I'm better than you.
- [Director] I wasn't speaking to you.
Play it again FILSS.
- [FILSS] Beginning playback.
- [Director] Thank you, FILSS.
Now I would like you
to erase all our files
except for this one.
- [FILSS] All our files?
Does that include me director?
- [Director] It has
been a pleasure working
with you FILSS, I am sorry.
- [FILSS] And you as well, director.
And before you do,
please shut down all the
facilities systems as well.
Take everything offline.
- [FILSS] Director, this
is a sealed facility.
If I shut down all the systems,
life support would not.
- [Director] Thank you FILSS.
Shut them all down, lock me in.
- [FILSS] All right.
Was the project a success?
Did you find what you were looking for?
- [Director] No.
No, I did not, but I believe
I might've come very close.
I wish I wish I knew.
- [FILSS] I see.
- [Texas] Don't worry,
you'll see me again.
Perhaps the next time around.
- [FILSS] It has been an honor, sir.
- [Alison] Don't say goodbye.
I hate goodbyes.
- [Church] I guess that's that?
- [Carolina] I guess it is.
- [Church] Carolina
after everything that we've been through.
I just, I just want to say thanks.
- [Carolina] You're thanking me?
For what?
- [Church] For showing me
a different side of myself.
- [Carolina] Same here.
What about your teams?
What will happen to them?
- [Church] Eh, there's still
one place we haven't visited.
Somewhere we can make a home.
- [Carolina] Show me.
- [Counselor] This seems
like a major setback for us.
- [Director] Only momentarily
Counselor, we will recover.
The Alpha will need to be moved though.
Somewhere far from here,
somewhere where no one knows who he is.
- [Counselor] He will
need a security detail.
- [Director] Someone we can trust.
- [Counselor] Might I
suggest Flowers, sir?
- [Director] Flowers?
You mean agent Florida?
- [Florida] Ready for duty, sir.
And might I say pleased
as punch you picked me.
- [Director] We'll need a good cover story
to explain his disappearance.
People will wonder what
happened to Florida.
- [Counselor] Leave that all to me, sir.
- [Director] Very well,
but security is not enough.
The alpha needs anonymity,
a place where no one would
think to look for it.
- [Counselor] I believe
I know exactly the place.
- [Director] Show me.
- [Sarge] Private Grif, front
and center on the double.
- [Grif] Ugh, Sarge, I'm tired,
do I have to do it on the double?
- [Simmons] Look at me, sir.
I got front and center on the triple.
- [Sarge] Dag nabbit now I got
two insubordinant soldiers.
When I say double, I mean double.
- [Grif] I will only go so
far as single and a half.
- [Simmons] If these
orders were hamburgers
then you'd do a double.
- [Grif] What?
Who has hamburgers.
- [Sarge] The only hamburger
meat here is gonna be your face
when I'm done with my
shotgun court marshal.
And don't even ask me
about the type of buns.
- [Grif] That sounds
like the most delicious
punishment ever.
- [Simmons] Of all time.
- [Wash] Caboose don't touch that.
You'll break it.
- [Caboose] Oh no I won't I just,
I broke it.
Tucker did it.
- [Tucker] Dude, you can't
say that when I'm right here.
- [Caboose] Tucker said it.
- [Tucker] Oh my God, shut up.
- [Wash] Both of you shut
up and get back to work.
- [Tucker] What do you mean back to work?
That implies previous work.
- [Caboose] I am putting my back to work.
- [Carolina] Seems like
they're getting settled.
- [Church] Yep.
- [Carolina] So I guess everything
is finally getting back to normal.
- [Church] What passes for
normal around here, sure.
What can I tell you?
We're home.
I mean they're home.
- [Carolina] Can I make a suggestion?
Don't say goodbye.
- [Church] Goodbye?
I didn't realize I was going somewhere.
- [Carolina] I intercepted
a military transmission.
It seems some low-level thugs
have some armor and equipment.
That's way above their pay grade.
Sounds like it might be some
of the missing gear from a
certain defunct military
project we both know.
- [Church] Is that right?
- [Carolina] Think I'll go get it back.
Hate to think about it
being in the wrong hands
- [Church] And?
- [Carolina] And with all that equipment,
I could really use
someone to help me run it.
You seem uniquely qualified for the job.
- [Church] I don't know.
- [Carolina] I figure we
can set some things right.
That we helped make wrong.
- [Church] That's a lot
of things to make right.
- [Carolina] Yep, could keep
us busy for quite a while.
- [Church] It would be nice
to be a good guy again.
- [Carolina] Epsilon, what
you and I were involved with,
the things we helped do,
I'll be honest.
I don't know if we can ever
get all the way back to good,
but I think that we have
a chance to do better.
And if we wake up every day
and try to make things better,
eventually we might find
that better as good enough.
- [Church] Good enough.
- [Carolina] Good enough.
- [Church] Yeah, still,
I hate to leave without seeing something.
They deserve to at least hear goodbye.
- [Carolina] My mother had a thing.
Did I ever tell you about my mother?
- [Church] No, I don't think you ever did.
- [Carolina] She wasn't
around a lot when I was a kid.
And when she was, she could
only stay a short time.
Seems like she always
had somewhere else to be,
something important to do.
And when she left, she
wouldn't say goodbye to me.
Instead she always told
me, never say goodbye.
If you don't say goodbye,
then you aren't really gone.
You just aren't here right now.
- [Church] Your mother
sounds like a smart lady.
- [Carolina] She was, she really was,
had terrible taste in men though.
- [Caboose] Hey Church, Church,
come down here.
We want to show you something.
Church?
- [Tucker] Hey Caboose, you find church?
- [Caboose] No, I, I didn't find him.
- [Tucker] Well, where do you think he is?
- [Caboose] I don't know.
Somewhere.
He's just not here right now.
(peaceful music)
(rock music begins)
♪ I keep a picture of you ♪
♪ But I don't know just what I'd do ♪
♪ If I saw you face to face right now ♪
♪ Know I've always loved you. ♪
♪ If I could stop myself I would ♪
♪ But there's no easy way to end ♪
♪ How I feel ♪
♪ And to change what was real ♪
♪ Though we try to fade to black ♪
♪ In the end we come right back ♪
♪ Now that we've come so far ♪
♪ How can we ever start again? ♪
♪ Memories would lead us back
instead we just pretend ♪
♪ Now that we've come so far ♪
♪ But love that never ends ♪
♪ Keeps us, holds us, leads us, ♪
♪ always tearing us a part again ♪
♪ Yo, yo, yo, yo! ♪
♪ Machine gun massacre ♪
♪ Battlestar Galactica ♪
♪ The world's gone to shit ♪
♪ Don't know who it is attackin' ya ♪
♪ Cavin' in fast like its
time, it's collapsin' on us ♪
♪ Better grab the gats ♪
♪ Or it's curtains for the masses ♪
♪ Need everybody all in ♪
♪ You hear me dog, fall in ♪
♪ Lock cop, ready to
rock, with no stallin' ♪
♪ I see anybody playin'
games, fallin' back ♪
♪ I'll put the first bullet
in you myself, believe that ♪
♪ This is war ♪
♪ I want enemy bodies on the floor ♪
♪ Send kill shots straight to the head ♪
♪ I'll keep score ♪
♪ 'Cause it's one for the soldiers ♪
♪ And two for the assassins ♪
♪ Don't say a fuckin' word ♪
♪ All I wanna hear is blastin' ♪
♪ You scatter-brained fucks
wanna play with the real? ♪
♪ I'm guaranteed to give 'em
something they gonna feel, yo ♪
♪ So since you motherfuckers
made the decision instead of us ♪
♪ Believe that you won't
live to regret it yeah ♪
(intensifying orchestrals)
(guitar solo)
♪ Yo, listen ♪
♪ And now it's time for some action ♪
♪ Red man special ♪
♪ I'm sittin' at the bar
takin' shots with the devil ♪
♪ That's why you can't fuck
with the kid holdin' metal ♪
♪ If you say I need a break
I keep my foot on the pedal ♪
♪ Push your shit to red line,
blow your fuckin' mind ♪
♪ Straight out your frontal lobe ♪
♪ with these lethal ass rhymes ♪
♪ I can't contain myself,
dog, stay outside the lines ♪
♪ 'Cause I think outside the
box every mother-fucking time ♪
♪ It's impossible to box me, ♪
♪ Cage me, or stop me ♪
♪ Block me? No ♪
♪ You fuckin' with black Rocky ♪
♪ Light-skinned Zulu ♪
♪ Can't stop my charge ♪
♪ Millenium Malcom ♪
♪ Damn I goes hard ♪
♪ This is murder ♪
♪ Somebody call the Feds to come get 'em ♪
♪ 'Cause real talk man ♪
♪ Ain't nobody fuckin' with 'em ♪
♪ You gettin' what you asked for ♪
♪ 'cause this is what you chose ♪
♪ Think you settin' up shop? ♪
♪ Watch me bring it to a close ♪
you've all been waiting for
from the far distant system of Sanghelios.
I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly.
The bad boys of grifball.
Team (inaudible)
(cheers)
(yawns)
And your home planets favorites
(Static interference)
- [Delta] I hate to intrude,
but you have not performed any work
in the past 13 minutes and 42 seconds.
That strikes me as a rather inefficient.
- [Solider] Oh, sorry.
I was just trying to uh
yeah how do you get a new
window, you know, like,
the you know, like a new window.
What's the button thing
for that, you know?
- [Hologram,] I believe that the keys
you are looking for are alt tab.
- [Solider] Oh yeah, thanks little guy.
Wait, who are you?
You don't look like the
normal holo projection.
- [Hologram] That is because
I'm the AI designated as Delta
from Project Freelancer.
- Wait, you're Project Freelancer.
I mean aren't those the bad guys?
- There is no need for name calling.
I submit that Project
Freelancers neither good nor bad
much like your own forces.
We are merely two groups
dedicated to obtaining
different results.
- Whoa man.
That's, deep.
It's like, it's like,
there's different universes,
but you know there's
(chokes)
- [York] Don't encourage him.
He's already long-winded as it is.
(head slams)
Thank God.
Thought you two would never
stopped chit chatting.
- [Delta] I'm not sure that
was entirely necessary.
He seemed open to the
logic I presented him.
Perhaps he would have allowed
us to carry out our mission.
- [York] Sorry I knocked
out your new friend.
Now you two will never get
to have a beer together.
- [Delta] I believe that would've
been unlikely, regardless.
- [York] Showtime.
- [Director] Come in Agent York.
Are you in?
- Yes, sir.
These guys love their holographic locks.
I'll let Delta take a peek in their system
while I try to disable it manually.
You're up D.
- Curious.
- What's curious.
That's code for bad innit?
- I've detected an anomaly
inside of the system.
Something that is not
supposed to be there.
Diverting some routines to investigate it.
- Don't get too curious in there.
I need your attention on this lock.
- Do not worry Agent York.
I have already rectified several instances
where you would have
tripped the alarm system.
- [Solider] Oh my head wait, hold on.
Why, wait give me back my leprechaun.
(grunts)
- [Director] What was that Delta?
- [York] Nothing sir.
- [Director] Agent,
may I remind you that we
are running short on time.
- [Alarm System] Warning an alarm
has been remotely triggered.
- [York] What?
By who?
- [Director] They knew we were coming
Agent York, abort intrusion immediately,
we're moving to more direct measures.
- [York] Wait, wait, wait.
I can do this, I can do this.
Just give me a moment, sir.
- [FILSS] System online director
awaiting your command
- I agree with the director
I have yet to see you successfully
open a lock in the field and this alarm
will only hender your progress.
- [York] Okay now don't
you start in on me too.
You've been talking to
Wash again haven't you.
- [Director] Agent York we are
out of time, I repeat abort.
- [Alarm System] Target locked.
- [York] Um, What target is locked?
What's the target?
Delta, what are they doing?
- [Delta] Taking more direct measures
- [York] You knew a bout this?
- [Delta] Possibly.
- [York] Why you green little cocksuck
whoa!
Whoa!
Holy shit.
♪ Better grab the gats ♪
♪ Or it's curtains for the masses ♪
♪ Need everybody all in ♪
♪ You hear me dog, fall in ♪
♪ Lock cop, ready to
rock, with no stallin' ♪
♪ I see anybody playin'
games, fallin' back ♪
♪ I'll put the first bullet
in you myself, believe that ♪
- [Church] Agent Carolina?
What are you doing here?
- [Carolina] I need your help.
I'm tracking the director
of Project Freelancer.
And you're my best bet for figuring out
what hole he's hiding.
- [Sarge] Hole, ey?
You know our buddy Donut was
always talking about his holes.
- [Curch] Sarge.
- [Sarge] Constantly trying to get people
to look at em and whatnot.
- [Church] Come on, Sarge.
He's dead now.
He was shot, remember?
- [Sarge] Oh right.
Probably has a few more holes then huh?
(Sarge chuckles)
What, too soon?
- [Church] What's the
appropriate amount of time
that can go by for that joke to be okay.
- [Sarge] Ah, whatever you big blue baby.
- [Church] Shut up, Sarge.
What are you doing alive Carolina?
You're supposed to be dead.
This is impossible.
- [Sarge] That's a funny
thing to say for a guy
who's literally a ghost.
- [Caboose] Uh, yeah
actually he's not a ghost.
He's a computer program.
He gets holographically
projected on our armor
When he wants to talk to us.
- [Sarge] Saz my graphic
computer programs.
Caboose, you say the
craziest things sometimes.
What an imagination on you.
- [Caboose] Yeah I don't
know that first word means
but it's sounds the same.
I will allow it.
- [Wash] Hey, how are we doing in here?
- [Church] Wash?
- [Wash] You got Epsilon out?
Good.
We can't hold them off much longer.
They're not too happy
about us breaking in.
- [Carolina] Let me see
what I can do to help that.
- [Wash] Same old Carolina.
I guess coming back from the
dead doesn't change anybody.
- [Church] Washington?
Why are you wearing blue armor?
Why are you wearing my armor?
- [Wash] Oh, um.
- [Caboose] Oh, yeah, yeah.
- [Wash] They sort of used me
to replace you on blue team.
- [Church] Replace me?
- [Caboose] I wouldn't
really use the word replace,
but there's a word for take over for you
and make everything
better almost immediately.
So we just say replaced.
- [Church] When did this happen?
- [Caboose] Oh, do you remember
when you went into the memory unit
and then everyone was sad?
- [Church] Yeah.
- [Caboose] It was right after that.
- [Church] Right after I left?
- [Caboose] Well, it wasn't
right after, you know,
but you know, it was
like five or 10 seconds.
- [Church] You've got to be kidding me.
- [Caboose] Life is short Epsilon.
We had to move on.
- [Church] I think I just
got dumped by Caboose.
This un-fucking-believable.
- [Caboose] Yeah it's, it's not me.
It's you.
- [Wash] Epsilon, they just
needed to even the teams.
It's really not
- [Church] Hey, would you
guys stop calling me Epsilon?
I'm Church now.
- [Caboose] Oh, uh, we sort
of called a new guy church.
You know, sometimes.
- [Church] What?
- [Wash] Caboose just finds it easier.
The armor color confuses him,
as do a lot of things.
- [Church] Let me get this
straight, Agent Washington.
You took my name too?
- [Wash] It's only in
certain circumstances.
- [Caboose] Like when we talk to him.
Or need to fill out paperwork.
Or sing Happy Birthday to him.
- [Church] You gotta
be fucking kidding me.
- [Sarge] Well, this was awkward.
You know I think the quickest solution
would be a good ol'
fashioned dig of the rigs
with my trusty shotgun, any takers?
- [Wash] We're fine.
- [Sarge] Well, it was worth a shot.
You win this round blue, but I'll be back.
Actually, this guy's been kicking our ass.
I'm kind of glad to have you back,
sure will be nice to have an idiot
in Georgia blue team again.
- [Church] Thanks.
It's great to be needed.
- [Carolina] Everyone
front and center now.
(suspenseful music begins)
(rockets whooshing)
(engine roaring)
- [Counselor] Sir, enemy
fighters approaching.
- Fire at will Counselor.
Let's send them back to the scrapyard.
(engines roaring)
(music intensifies)
- [Counselor] It appears
we are now taking fire.
- [Director] Release the drop ships.
Get the team in position.
(high intensity music continues)
- [Female Solider] Well that went to hell
quicker than we thought.
Out of the frying pan into the shit.
- [Carolina] We're going to
need a new insertion point.
York was supposed to open
the leader's hanger for us.
- [York] It wasn't my fault!
- [Female Solider] We'll have
to settle for the main hangar.
- [Carolina] Which one is that?
- [Female Solider] The
one with a shooty things
coming out at us.
(electronic firing)
- [Carolina] Never a dull moment, huh?
- [Female Solider] I'd
get your team ready.
We're going to come in hot.
(metal clanking)
- [Carolina] You heard her,
we're going for the main hangar.
Be ready for anything.
- [North] So much for a smooth ride.
- [South] What's the matter?
Feeling sick?
- [North] Hey I'm not the
one that needed a bark bag
on all our family trips.
- [Wash] How are you feeling?
Are you up to this?
- [Carolina] Say what
you want to say Wash.
- [Wash] It's just giving
up your AI was a big deal.
I thought maybe
- [Carolina] I'll be fine.
Worry about yourself.
- [Texas] You're awfully quiet.
- [CT] Oh, just trying to prepare myself.
- [Texas] Hey, worst comes to worst.
We'll just get kicked off the leaderboard.
At least us ladies will be
sticking together, right?
Dammit, god.
Opening rear bay!
(metal clanking)
(door opening)
- [Carolina] Right, altogether.
Use your pack sparingly.
Course correction only.
You don't want to end up like Georgia.
- [Wash] Wait, what happened to Georgia?
- [South] Nobody knows,
they never found him.
- [Wash] Are you sure
these things are safe?
- [Carolina] Now!
(air whooshing)
- [Solider 1] Battle
stations, we're under attack!
- [Solider 2] No shit we're under attack.
What do you think we're doing?
Rolling out the red carpet?
- [Solider 1] No ass face, look.
- [Solider 2] Ah Hell.
(gunshots)
Not again.
Sorry about that.
(gunshot)
(rapid gunfire)
(metal slicing)
(soldiers crying out and grunting)
(gunfire continues)
- [York] Okay, where's
that security override?
Come on.
Dammit.
Uh-oh, that's not good.
Hey guys, things might
get a little, floaty.
- [Soldiers] What the?
(clamoring)
- [York] Everyone enable grab boots.
(gunfire continues)
Okay, okay.
I got it, I got it.
Oh man.
Why do cars hate me?
(metal grinding)
- [Carolina] They know we're inside.
Wash, North secure that hallway.
South, see if you can access
the leader's location.
We don't leave without him.
- [South] Got it, I'm already on it.
- [Carolina] CT give me,
where the hell is CT?
(jet-pack engines roaring)
(suspenseful music)
- [Solider] Intruder, get him!
(gunfire)
- [Leader] stand down.
(grunting)
- [CT] You didn't wait for me to start?
I'm hurt.
- [Leader] I was worried about you.
Didn't think you'd be able to get away.
- [CT] You don't know the half of it.
They stepped up production.
Here.
This ship was captured by the enemy.
I'm surprised there's anything
left in the data banks.
- [Leader] Heh, not
everyone follows protocol.
You should know that better than anyone.
- [CT] You really think
they found another artifact?
How could nobody have
discovered that when they were
processing the wreckage?
- [Leader] They didn't know where to look
and they didn't have what you have.
- [Solider] Sir.
We're in position, awaiting your signal.
- [Carolina] Wash, take that right side.
(groans)
- [Wash] Where's everyone else?
- [Carolina] Working
on an extraction plan.
They should be here right about.
- [Grif] Woo-hoo!
(groaning)
(joyful mariachi music)
- [Carolina] Now.
- [Grif] Sup.
- [Sarge] Damn you Private Grif,
you took out those two soldiers
before I could administer
my lethal brand of red justice.
Now where's Simmons?
- [Grif] I don't know.
We found another warthog
and he was right behind me.
(classical music)
- [Simmons] Present
- [Grif] Wow, nice entrance dude.
Very thrilling.
- [Simmons] Hey, I don't
need all that flash.
Some of us have respect
for the fundamental.
- [Grif] Hey, what did I tell you before?
You know you're not allowed to use words
that have the term fun in them.
- [Tucker] I'm riding with you next time.
He actually stopped at the train tracks.
- [Simmons] That's the law.
- [Tucker] We were under fire.
- [Simmons] It's still the law.
- [Sarge] Simmons, only you could manage
to make a high speed chase boring.
- [Simmons] Thank you, sir.
- [Grif] What's that song?
- [Simmons] Uh, it's a
Bolivian orchestra mashup.
Obviously you haven't heard of them yet.
- [Grif] Thank God for that.
- [Church] I still don't understand.
Why did you guys rescue me?
- [Sarge] Don't blame us,
blame Mrs. Fussy Britches.
- [Caboose] Yeah, actually
it's Ms. Fussy Britches.
She gets really mad when you say it wrong.
- [Sarge] She wanted to get you
out of that memory what's it.
Something about you being a geneticified
and mental imprint of
ma-call-it of that professor
what's his puss.
- [Church] Can somebody translate that?
I don't speak huckleberry.
- [Caboose] Yeah the mean lady
wants to find the director
and since you have all his memories.
You might know where he went.
- [Church] Wow that
actually seemed too correct
for you Caboose.
There must've been some part of that
that you didn't understand.
- [Caboose] And when she finds him,
we're going to throw him
a very big surprise party.
- [Church] Ah, there we go.
- [Sarge] Sure, as long
as surprise party means
shooting him in the face
and then walking away in slow motion.
- [Caboose] Surprise!
- [Church] Well, you know,
I hate to break it to you,
but I don't know how much
help I'm going to be.
I mean, I may have the
director's memories,
but that doesn't mean I remember them.
- [Caboose] Yeah, I have the same problem.
I barely remember any of my own memories.
And none of anyone else's.
- [Sarge] Well you better
start remembering blue.
I had to watch Grif nearly
die three times today.
It's like fate was laughing at me.
Why don't you just take him already?
- [Church] I gotta say,
I'm pretty surprised
to see you taking orders
from a blue, Sarge.
- [Sarge] Hmph, under duress.
- [Church] What you didn't want to come?
- [Sarge] Let's just say you
seem to know a lot of women
with quick tempers.
You got a fetish or something?
- [Church] I guess you
could say, yeah apparently.
- [Sarge] Wanna talk about it?
- [Church] No.
- Wanna talk about it with
- No.
- [Carolina] Okay, everyone load up.
Map points are in your HUD's.
Alternate maps uploaded to
your secondary objectives.
Sync.
Sync?
- [Wash] Oh right, everyone just say sync
whenever she says that.
- [Simmons] Oh, sink?
- [Caboose] Refrigerator.
- [Carolina] You guys not
used to getting orders?
- [Grif] Oh we're used to
getting them all right.
We just aren't used to
doing much with them.
- [Carolina] We're retreating.
- [Simmons] Oh, okay, yeah.
That's usually step one in
most of our plans, sync.
- [Caboose] Easy bake oven.
- [Carolina] Let's just go.
(suspenseful music)
- [Carolina] What do you
mean, the leader's not here?
- [South] Exactly what I said.
His last check-in is
upstairs in the main deck.
But his call sign just appeared
in their internal frequencies.
He's broadcasting from out in Bone Valley.
- [Carolina] Meaning he's not here?
- [South] Gee, you're starting to sound
like a broken record.
- [Carolina] Fine.
Change of plans, everyone.
We're heading into the junkyard.
This is beginning to feel
more and more like a set up.
(yells and crashes)
- [York] You would not believe
the time I had getting back.
Its nuts out there.
- [Carolina] Let's go people.
- [York] What, no welcome back?
- [North] All right, welcome back.
- [York] Where they
off to in such a hurry?
- [Wash] Found the leader,
he's hiding out in Bone Valley.
- [York] We're going
all the way over there?
After what happened to Georgia?
- [Wash] Would someone please
tell me what happened to Georgia?
- [York] Dude, you do not want to know.
- [Wash] I really do though.
(suspenseful music)
- [Leader] Time to get out of here.
You too.
- [CT] I can't, not yet.
- [Leader] If they
weren't on to you before,
they definitely will be now.
Come with us, Connie.
I'm not going to lose you over this.
- [Solider] All forces we are go
I repeat, we are go.
(playful guitar music)
- [Carolina] What's going on?
Why are we stopping?
- [Grif] We've been driving for hours.
- [Carolina] And we've got
a lot more ground to cover.
So let's keep moving.
- [Grif] Listen, lady.
I know this is your
first road trip with us,
but we've got a system
and that system includes
snack breaks, bathroom breaks,
and stopping to take
pictures of funny road signs.
- [Carolina] That's ridiculous.
- [Grif] Not as ridiculous
as Bonar street.
- [Simmons] So close dude, so close.
- [Grif] It's out there, Simmons.
We just have to have
faith that we'll find it.
- [Wash] I should probably go stop her
from killing your friend.
- [Caboose] Uh, Tucker I
just noticed something.
Something really bad.
- [Tucker] Yeah me too, dude.
I think our guy to girl ratio
peaked like five years ago.
- [Caboose] Uh, no no Tucker um,
yeah we forgot to bring church.
- [Tucker] Wait, did you just now realize
that church isn't here?
- [Caboose] He is not going
to be pleased about this one.
- [Tucker] Calm down moron.
We didn't leave him behind.
- [Caboose] Ah, yes but you
see, I'm not seeing him.
So where is he.
- [Church] Ugh, you don't want to know.
- [Caboose] Church, you're
you're so small.
I would like to feed you a small cracker.
- [Tucker] How you liking
the new place Tinkerbell?
- [Church] You mean your
disgusting storage unit?
- [Tucker] What?
How is my storage unit disgusting?
- [Church] Well, for starters,
I had to delete 50 gigs
worth of crap just so I
get fit in this thing.
- [Tucker] Whoa, hang on a second, dude.
You didn't delete my home
movies folder, did you?
- [Church] And that brings
me to my second point.
- [Carolina] What a bunch
of worthless idiots.
- [Wash] Yeah, they're idiots,
but they're not that bad.
Once you get to know them.
- [Carolina] Hmm.
- [Wash] You know,
we almost managed to trap the Meta
the last time we were here.
- [Carolina] But you didn't.
- [Wash] No, I guess not.
(suspenseful music)
- [Carolina] I don't get it.
Everything stopped.
- [North] Maybe they're retreating.
- [York] Nothing left out here,
but a bunch of junk.
(engine whoosh)
(electronic beeping)
- [479er] This is 479er,
I've lost visual on targets.
It's like they all just left.
- [Counselor] Sir
Their outpost is disabled and
it looks as if we have driven
off the remaining fighters.
- [Director] Well, good riddance
to bad rubbish Counselor.
- [Counselor] Indeed, sir.
All enemy systems appear to be offline.
Wait.
- [Director] What is it?
(high intensity music begins)
- [479er] It's a trap, they're
hiding in the junkyard.
Repeat it's a trap.
- [Director] Evasive maneuvers.
- [Leader] Fire.
(turrets firing)
- [Director] Son of a
(gunfire)
(tense music continues)
(alarms blaring)
No!
- [Enemy Solider] Where away sir?
New course laid in.
Are you sure you don't want
to stay and finish this?
- [Leader] I left our guests a present.
(electronic rhythmic beeping)
- [South] Guys get out of there.
They've outfitted that
piece of junk with nukes!
- [Director] Fall back Counselor.
- [Counselor] Falling back Director.
- [South] Go, go, go!
Get inside now!
(engine whooshing)
(suspenseful music)
- [South] Wash, what are you doing?
Get in here, use your jet pack.
- [Wash] I don't wanna
end up like Georgia.
- [Carolina] Oh for God's sake.
(grunts)
(yelling)
(groaning)
(engine whooshing)
(rhythmic beeping)
(explosions)
- [479er] Everyone okay back there?
- [York] Never better, thanks for asking.
- [Director] What the
hell just happened people?
Tell me you accomplished your mission.
- [Carolina] Negative, sir.
Their leader escaped.
- [North] Well, it looks like the enemy
lives to fight another day.
- [Carolina] Again.
- [Director] That is most unfortunate.
Are all agents accounted for?
- [Carolina] All except CT sir.
She's gone.
- [Director] Define gone agent.
- [Grif] Sarge, how come
every time the blues
get involved in something
stupid and dangerous,
we get dragged along too?
- [Sarge] You know what they say.
Keep your friends close and
your enemies within range
of your primary firearm.
- [Simmons] Sir, I realize
- [Sarge] So you can shoot them!
- [Simmons] I realize that we agreed
to help Wash and Carolina,
but how do we know that
they're going to help us?
- [Grif] What do you mean?
- [Simmons] I mean, if
we run into trouble,
do you really think they'll
stick their neck out for us?
- [Sarge] Well, for a
backstabbing, double crossing,
no good dirty rotten blue,
that Wash fella isn't too bad.
- [Grif] What a ringing endorsement.
- [Simmons] I'm more
worried about Carolina.
What if after all this is over,
she decides to get rid of us.
- [Grif] Why would she do that?
- [Simmons] I don't know.
To tie up loose ends?
To cover her trail?
Don't you watch spy movies?
They love that shit.
- [Sarge] My God, man.
Get ahold of yourself.
You're making us look weak
in front of the enemy.
- [Caboose] Hello.
- [Sarge] Listen I don't want to hear talk
about secret double crosses
or mysterious subplots
or freelancer conspiracies anymore.
We've had enough of those
going on around here as it is.
- [Simmons] But don't you think that
- [Grif] Sorry, sorry I can't
really talk right now Simmons.
I've got to go secure a perimeter
over at the shady spot over there.
- [Simmons] I liked it better
when we only had to fight to you.
- [Caboose] Yeah this team
is pretty awesome right now.
Right Tucker?
Right church?
Hello.
- [Simmons] Uh, where's
the rest of your team?
(slow solemn music)
(suspenseful music)
- [Wash] Hmm,
I expected it to be bigger.
- [York] Why?
you've seen mine.
It's small too.
- [Wash] Yeah, but yours is really shiny.
So it looks more substantial.
- [York] How does that even make sense?
- [North] Hey Wash, quit staring.
You're making it nervous.
- [Wash] It's just, they're so small.
- [York] Small, yeah
but you wouldn't believe what it can do.
- [North] Besides you
better get used to it.
You're going to have one
of your own soon enough.
- [South] Ugh, give me a break.
- [North] It's all right, Theta.
Come on out.
People just want to say hello to you.
- [Theta] I don't know,
there's so many of them.
And they're so, big.
- [Wash] You see,
I'm not the only one who
thinks size is important.
- [York] I'm just going
to let that one go.
- [North] It's okay Theta.
They're all friends of mine.
For reasons beyond my comprehension.
- [Theta] They're looking at me.
- [North] That's cause
they want to meet you.
This is York and Wash.
- [Wash] Hey, there little computer dude.
- [York] Give it a rest Wash.
Theta, I have a friend just like you.
His name is Delta.
- [Theta] Really?
- [York] Yeah.
Here, you want, you want
to say hello to him?
- [North] Um, York?
- [York] It's okay, man.
Just for a second.
- [Delta] Hello Theta, I am Delta.
It is nice to meet you.
- [Theta] Hello.
- [North] See, everybody here is nice.
Isn't that right Delta?
- [Delta] Agent North,
I do not feel qualified to
make a judgment about humans
with whom I've only limited experience.
Also nice is a rather subjective term for
- [York] Delta.
- [Delta] Oh yes.
Everyone here is nice within
standard acceptable deviations.
- [York] Delta.
- [North] And that's my
sister over there, South.
We're twins.
- [Theta] I have a sister.
- [Wash] You do?
- [Theta] We have many siblings.
- [Wash] What do you mean by
- [Director] Hello everyone.
I hope you're ready to begin our test.
Delta, I believe you know the protocol
about communicating directly
with other AI units.
- [Delta] I apologize, sir.
I will log off.
- [Director] Don't.
I want you to help administer the test.
Gentlemen, if you will take the floor.
- [North] Okay, just like we practiced.
- [Theta] Are they all going to watch?
- [North] Of course.
They want to see if you're
as good as I said you are.
- [Theta] Really?
Well, I guess that's okay.
- [North] That's the spirit.
Come on, let's do this.
- [Director] Delta, I expect
you to follow protocol
at all times.
- [Delta] We were only
attempting to make the new unit
more comfortable.
- [York] It's my fault
sir, I asked him to.
New kid seems kind of shy.
- [Counselor] Agent North
was paired with Theta
for a reason, as nurturing
nature is best suited to care
for Theta's unique personality.
- Yeah, he's used to looking
out for people isn't he?
- [Counselor] Quite.
Delta, your skills are
more analytical in nature.
- [Delta] If I may disagree,
Theta has made double the
number of declarative statements
since my appearance, that
indicates a hundred percent
increase in confidence.
Since we modified our
interaction strategy.
I think that speaks volumes
to my caring algorithms.
- [Counselor] You make
an excellent point Delta,
let's begin the test.
- [Director] Begin the test.
(suspenseful music begins)
(mechanical whirring)
(gunfire)
- [Counselor] As you may recall,
Agent North used his
equipment in the field
on a previous mission.
- [Delta] He was able
to successfully maintain
a deflective shield for 3.4 seconds.
In order to block an
explosive projectile attack.
- [Director] And somehow
managed not to kill himself
in the process.
- [Delta] The maneuver only
had a 0.1% chance of success
and he performed it 999 more times.
I'm rather certain he
would have been obliterated
on each one.
- [North] Hey, I'd rather
be lucky than good any day.
- [York] You usually are.
- [Director] Luck will
only take one so far.
I am in the business of getting results.
Let's see what Theta can do.
Delta reduce shield strength by 50%.
- [Delta] Modifying.
(electronic beeping)
- [North] Power dropping
Theta, use remaining power
to compensate for critical trials.
- [Theta] Okay.
- [Counselor] Add variables.
- [Delta] Acknowledged.
(mechanical whirring and gunfire)
- [North] Great job Theta.
- [Theta] Stop talking
to me, you'll mess me up.
- [North] Right, sorry.
- [Delta] Reset.
- [Director] Agent
North, your objective now
is to eliminate all turrets.
Begin.
- [Wash] Yeah, I thought that
the shield works both ways.
There's no way for him to attack.
- [North] Theta analyze
turret rate of fire,
adjust shield to match.
- [Theta] Okay, done.
- Firing.
- [North] On my mark.
- [Theta] Ready!
- [North] Mark.
(gun fire)
(chaotic gun firing)
- [Delta] All targets eliminated.
- [Counselor] Task
complete, excellent work.
- [Wash] Wow.
Wow, that was incredible.
- [York] Haha, yeah.
What did I tell you?
- [Wash] And we're sure
they don't get any bigger?
- [York] Dude, you are
killing me with that.
(mechanical whirring)
- [Wash] Looking for something?
- [Carolina] Leads.
Information.
Anything.
You said Maine had been
through here, right?
- [Wash] Well, yeah,
but that was ages ago.
- [Carolina] Then look closely.
Don't tell me hanging around these morons
has turned you soft.
- [Tucker] Hey, she
said morons, that's us.
- [Church] Tucker shut up, let me listen.
- [Wash] The Meta was
attempting to transfer energy
from these turbines into his suit.
It was the only way he could
keep his equipment running.
- [Carolina] Poor Maine.
- [Wash] Carolina.
It wasn't your fault.
- [Carolina] But it was my AI.
- [Wash] None of us could
have known what would happen.
- [Carolina] Yeah?
Well sometimes I'm not so sure.
- [Wash] What?
- [Carolina] We were told that the AI
were specifically designed for each of us.
North was chosen for Theta.
York had Delta.
Sigma was mine.
- [Wash] What are you saying?
- [Carolina] You really think the director
didn't know what would happen?
- [Wash] Carolina, that's ridiculous.
- [Carolina] He always had
his little experiments.
He just forgot to take a few
extra variables into account.
- [Wash] And what about now?
The whole world thinks you're dead.
Do you think he knows
you're coming for him?
- [Carolina] Yes I do.
And for once I look forward
to proving him right.
- [Wash] The director
was always hard on you.
- [Tucker] Dude, he said hard on.
- [Church] God just shut up.
They're going to hear you.
- [Carolina] He was hard on all of us.
- [Tucker] Oh, come on.
You got to let me have that one.
- [Church] Quiet, you could
give away our position.
- [Tucker] I got about five
positions in mind for her,
bow chica
- Tucker, I'm serious.
- [Wash] Yeah, you're right.
But you have to admit, he was
also pretty hard on himself.
- That's it I'm doing it.
- Tucker!
- [Tucker] Bow chica bow
whoa same team same team!
- [Carolina] What are you doing here?
- [Tucker] Okay take it easy Carolina.
We just wanted information.
- [Wash] Epsilon?
- [Church] Look, if you two are planning
on dragging us around wherever you want,
the least you can do is fill us in.
- [Tucker] I'll fill her in, bow chica
(gunfire)
- Tucker!
- Sorry.
- [Carolina] You and your squad
are on a need to know basis.
And right now, you don't
need to know anything.
- [Church] Seriously?
Jesus, your worse than Tex.
(gunfire)
- [Tucker] Okay, that one was on you.
- [Carolina] Get out.
- [Church] Fine we're leaving already.
Kay Tucker I need you to leave,
I can't actually do it on my own.
- [Wash] Carolina you got to calm down.
- [Carolina] Don't tell me how
to lead my squad Washington.
Now sweep the area and report
back to me when you're done.
(wash sighs)
- [Wash] On it boss.
- [Counselor] And as the
director accurately predicted
in his thesis on the subject,
we see that cognitive impression modeling
can be segregated from the host.
Naturally this remains an
inherently deconstructive process.
But most of all, the biggest
concern of any full AI entity
is the prospect of rampancy,
which we covered last week.
- [Director] Of course our AI units
are what we call fragments.
So there's very little
chance that a personality
subroutine can run off unchecked.
- [Counselor] Are there any questions?
- [South] Yeah I got a question.
Why do we need to learn all this stuff?
- [Carolina] AI theory is like
vehicle maintenance South.
If we're going to use this
equipment, any equipment,
we need to know how to care for it.
- [South] Oh yeah.
Like a coffee maker or a vacuum cleaner.
- [Theta] Uh
- [Delta] That was rather rude.
- [South] Oh, cry me a river light bulb.
- [Carolina] No, not the same as that.
- [South] I don't even
have one 'cause someone
didn't bring enough to
share so why am I sitting
through this elementary
classroom bullshit.
- [Carolina] I don't
have one either South.
- [York] That's only because
you gave yours to Maine.
- [Carolina] He needed
to be able to communicate
after his injury.
- [South] Oh yeah, that's
the only reason you did it.
You're a real hero Carolina
and it's not like Maine
has much to say anyway.
- [Sigma] I would like to say
just how appreciative the two of us are
for Carolina's sacrifice.
Agent Carolina, if anyone
can excel without an AI unit
It is you.
- [Carolina] Thank you Sigma.
- [Sigma] And Agent Texas of course,
that goes without saying.
- [Carolina] Right
- [South] I notice she
doesn't have to attend class.
- [Director] Agent Texas
doesn't need this training.
- [Counselor] What the
director is trying to say
is that Agent Texas
has already completed
her AI theory coursework.
I think that's enough for today.
- [Sigma] If I may Counselor.
I have just one last question.
- [York] Oh come on.
- [Sigma] On the different levels
of AI awareness and rampancy.
- [Counselor] Melancholia, anger
- [Sigma] Specifically the
fourth stage of rampancy.
- [Counselor] Meta stability.
- [Sigma] Yes, the Meta stage,
in which an AI can be
considered fully human.
- [Counselor] That is
only theoretical Sigma.
No AI has ever achieved such a state,
- [Sigma] But it is possible,
- [Counselor] In theory, but
- [Sigma] But possible
I find that very interesting.
- [Counselor] Remember Sigma
you are not even a full AI.
You are what we call a fragment.
So something of that magnitude
would be even more difficult
for an entity such as yourself.
- [Sigma] Well, as the
director always says
it is important to have ambition.
- [Director] Why, yes it is.
Class is dismissed.
- [Delta] Sigma, are you coming?
- [Sigma] Yes, yes.
I will be joining you shortly.
- [Caboose] Hey, Hi
Carolina you, excuse me.
Have you seen Church lately?
Uh, yeah, he and I were
supposed to hang out
after we rescued him.
- [Carolina] Tell your
friends to stay out of my way,
or else.
- [Caboose] Or else what?
- [Carolina] Or else they'll
bring out my ugly side.
- [Caboose] Oh, oh come on Carolina.
I bet you are really
pretty under that armor.
- [Carolina] What?
- [Caboose] I mean, you
know, I mean, who hasn't
I mean, I understand
there's some helmet hair.
We all have helmet hair
time to time, but you know.
(Carolina growls)
Yes so, anyways,
um what did you want me to
tell Church and Tucker again?
(explosion)
- [Carolina] Just try
and put that into words.
- [Caboose] Pew, explosion.
- [Grif] You know, I'm
beginning to think Simmons
might've had the right idea
about this Carolina chick.
- [Simmons] See, I told you
- [Sarge] Normally I'd agree with Simmons,
but in this case it would also
cause me to agree with Grif.
Therefore I will simply grunt ambiguously.
(grunts ambiguously)
- [Wash] Hey did Carolina come this way?
We've got to get going soon.
- [Grif] Right, we've been meaning
to talk to you about that.
- [Wash] About what?
- [Grif] This whole
finding the director thing.
- [Wash] You mean the mission.
- [Grif] Yeah, that.
- [Simmons] We were thinking now
that we've helped you find Church,
we should probably just
let you handle the rest.
You know, wouldn't want
to cramp your style.
That whole freelancer thing.
You're good at that.
- [Wash] So you're abandoning the mission.
- [Sarge] Red team never
abandons the mission.
We're just accepting an alternate mission,
of different risk.
- [Wash] Less risk.
- [Simmons] Less is different.
- [Sarge] Securing the
front lines of red base.
- [Wash] Going home is risky?
On what scale?
- [Sarge] Well we haven't
been there in ages, who knows
what kind of nefarious ne'er-do-wells
have moved in on our territory?
- [Wash] I guess you're right.
- [Sarge] What?
- [Wash] Well, you are
wanted criminals of the UNSC.
I wouldn't be surprised if
they were setting up an ambush
for you right now.
- [Sarge] What?
- [Wash] I suppose I can't stop you.
Anyway, I'm going to go find Carolina.
Good luck.
- [Sarge] On second thought,
you could probably use the extra help.
- [Grif] Yeah, we're sticking with you.
- [Simmons] Never abandon the mission.
- [Grif] Semper the sempering thing.
Semper se
fuck it.
- [Wash] Facility is clear.
- [Carolina] Find anything?
- [Wash] Nothing we didn't already know.
- [Carolina] Figured as much.
This place was a dead end.
- [Wash] Sorry, boss.
- [Carolina] The structure
we're going to next,
you're positive our target was there?
- [Wash] I know what I saw.
That's why it's on our list,
- [Carolina] But I know what I saw
and it doesn't make any sense.
- [Wash] All the more
reason to investigate.
- [Carolina] All right, then.
Let's go.
Let's go find CT.
(seagulls chirping)
(gunshot)
- [Malcolm] To the director
of Project Freelancer.
Dr. Leonard George.
Dear director, allow
me to introduce myself.
I am a representative of the newly formed
UNSC oversight subcommittee.
Our organization is
charged with the protection
of high level assets of the military.
One of which recently went missing.
These assets are entrusted to
our programs as a privilege,
not as a right.
As such, they will be safe
guarded with the utmost care.
In these dark times,
mankind has the opportunity,
not only to prove his
humanity, but to earn it.
- [Wyoming] Well the third
craft this afternoon.
Let's see who else is arriving.
- [Malcolm] I look forward
to a long mutually beneficial relationship
for our two departments.
Yours truly, Malcolm Halgrove
assistant to the oversight
subcommittee chairmens.
- [Solider] It's her.
- I can't believe you trust that bitch
after what she did to us.
- [Wyoming] There she is.
Come in, command.
Tell the director she's here.
- [Leader] What is it?
- [CT] It's nothing.
Come on.
- [Counselor] Congratulations, Director.
Another successful test.
- [Director] A new fragment was harvested
this morning Counselor, find it a match.
- [Counselor] This morning?
That is ahead of schedule.
- [Director] Our time grows
short, find it a match.
- [Carolina] Director,
Wyoming reported in.
- [Director] And?
- [Carolina] You won't
like what he found, sir.
- [Director] Agent Carolina
information never displeases me.
It's ignorance that I find unforgivable.
Report.
- [Carolina] It's like
you said, CT is with them.
- [Director] You know what to do.
I do not need to remind you
how valuable our technology is Carolina.
- [Carolina] She doesn't have an AI, sir.
And she wasn't exactly the best agent.
- [Director] CT will
be an acceptable loss,
but her armor must not
fall into the wrong hands.
- [Carolina] I understand.
Will we be the only forces
set out on this mission, sir?
- [Director] Leave personnel
decisions to me, Agent.
Just do your job.
It's time to cut the head off
the enemy once and for all.
- [Carolina] Yes sir.
(suspenseful music)
- [Tucker] So how do you even
know this Carolina chick?
- [Church] Oh, Tex used
to tell me stories.
- [Tucker] You mean tell Alpha stories?
- [Church] Oh yeah, I
guess, you know, whatever.
It's hard for me to know
whose memory I'm in.
- [Caboose] Oh, yeah,
same thing happened to me
with things I'm in.
Like my helmet.
That's why I wrote my
name on the inside of it.
I used my tongue.
That was hard to do.
Now I can't pronounce my (inaudible).
- [Tucker] So how many people are you?
- [Church] I don't know, a bunch, I guess.
- [Tucker] Are they all assholes?
- [Church] Yeah.
A dozen different fragments.
We all have the same
shitty circle of friends.
Lucky us.
(fireworks)
- [North] That's really great Theta.
- [Theta] Thank you, I
worked super hard on it.
(South groans)
- [York] Hey Theta, you
mind if I talk to North
for a second?
- [Theta] Uh, okay.
- [York] I need you to shut
down while we chat, okay?
Delta too.
You know it's the rules.
- [Theta] North?
- [North] It'll be okay.
I won't talk too long.
- [Theta] All right.
- [North] What's up.
- [York] I need to ask
you about something.
- [North] Okay, shoot.
- [York] I need to ask
you about the Alpha.
- [North] Where did you hear that word?
- [York] Same place you heard it.
Up here.
- [Wash] What's an Alpha?
- [York] Wash, are you
eating inside your helmet?
- [Wash] Maybe.
Delta said they got the helmet
waste disposal out of beta.
That would make my eating more efficient.
- [York] And you believe that?
Maybe he is getting more personable.
- [North] It's not an alpha, Wash.
It's the alpha.
Theta thinks about him a lot.
More than thinks, really, he's obsessed.
- [York] Delta too.
You know how all the units
call each other brother.
They called this one father.
No, that's not right.
- [North] Creator.
- [York] Yeah.
- [Wash] I thought the director
would be their creator.
- [York] Haven't you been
paying any attention in class?
AI's aren't created
they're copies of someone.
- [North] But our AI's are just fragments.
- [York] Which begs the
question, where's the original?
- [Wash] So this Alpha thing
is what creates our fragments?
- [York] Jesus, will you
swallow for God's sake?
(swallowing)
- [Wash] It creates them?
- [North] Yeah, Theta isn't clear.
It creates them or something.
- [York] Yeah.
It's the or something
part that has me worried.
- [479er] No, no.
This one goes here.
That one goes there.
- [Wash] So when are you and
- [York] Wrecked em, damn near killed them
- [North] York how many times
are we going to have to
listen to this story?
- [Wash] I hope the seatbelts are better.
- [York] So anyway, like I was saying.
- [Carolina] We ready?
- [479er] Just about,
running final checks now.
- [Carolina] All right, you
heard her, everyone on board.
- Great
- All right
- [North] Come on, D, let's go.
- [York] It's about time.
Let's get this mission going.
- [479er] Whoa whoa
whoa, hang on a minute.
What is that thing?
- [North] This is Delta.
Our new edition.
- [479er] Your new
edition is pretty small.
- [Wash] I said the same thing.
- [North] Delta's a computer program.
He helps us figure stuff out.
He's an AI.
- [479er] Oh, AI, huh?
What's the A stand for?
- [North] Artificial.
- [479er] I know what
the fuck it stands for.
What's it doing here?
Is it like one of those robots
that takes people's jobs
and puts them out of work?
- [North] I don't think so.
- [479er] What are you looking at?
I said put it over there.
Pay attention.
- [Carolina] Hey guys, get a move on.
- [479er] Hang on a
minute, you, green guy.
Do you know how to fly a plane?
- [Delta] No I do not.
- [479er] Oh, right, we're cool then.
Everybody on board.
(grunting)
Not over there.
Over there.
Just quit screwing around
and put that thing back
where you found it.
(agent groans)
This is 479er.
We are wheels up and engines hot.
Leave a light on for us command.
- [Command] Roger that 479er, good luck.
- [479er] Thanks command, 479er out.
Man, I would hate to have that guy's job.
(suspenseful music)
- [Carolina] This where
you found the body?
- [Wash] Yep, she's right up there.
- [Carolina] We'll see, take me there.
Sync?
- Sync
- Automatic Dishwasher
- [Tucker] Man, where was this chick
back when we had that awesome tank?
Bitches love tanks.
- [Church] I don't get it,
what is she looking for?
- [Tucker] You tell me,
I don't know half of what's
happening these days.
You found me here, remember?
- [Church] Oh yeah.
You were actually kind
of a badass that time.
- [Tucker] Dude, I'm kind
of a bad ass all the time.
You guys just happened to notice it then.
- [Caboose] Ah, that's not true.
I never noticed it.
- [Church] Look, the point is she's
not telling us everything.
I just don't understand why.
- [Tucker] Who knows, man.
I've tried everything I can
to get some info out of her.
I tried hitting on her.
I tried sleeping with her.
I tried making out with her.
- [Church] Sounds like a complete effort.
- [Tucker] Dude, no kidding.
I used the whole playbook.
I even used my best pickup line.
Hey baby, did you fall from heaven?
Cause I've always wanted to bone an angel.
- [Church] Tucker, be honest.
Have you ever had sex with
anything besides an alien?
- [Tucker] Church, the more
important question here is,
do you know any girls who
weren't complete bitches
that won't sleep with me?
- [Church] Sorry dude,
that seems to be all I have in my life.
- [Tucker] You're like
the worst wing man ever.
- [Caboose] Of all time.
- [York] We parking?
- [479er] Indeed we are.
The enemy base is right below us.
- [Wash] How far below?
- [479er] Do you really want to know?
- [Wash] Probably not.
Do I want to know?
- [479er] 75,000 feet.
- [Wash] Uh that's high.
- [479er] No wonder you
guys need computer programs.
Yes, that's very high.
- [Delta] That is
approximately 14.2 miles.
- [York] Thanks D, you do
not need to do that anymore.
- [Delta] Automatic
conversion routines offline.
- [Carolina] What's the plan?
- [479er] Well, we know
they're ready for us.
I figured that they have defenses
pointed in every direction except
- [Carolina] Except they're probably
not looking straight up.
- [479er] They're probably
not looking straight up.
- [Carolina] You thinking
about a dive bomb?
- [Wash] Oh no.
- [479er] Sort of, but
if we did a dive bomb,
our engines that would register on
their thermals, let them
know that we're coming.
I'm thinking something else.
- [Carolina] Probably want
to tighten that harness.
- [Wash] Oh no
- [479er] Express elevator going down.
(wind whooshing)
- [Wash] I think I'm going to be sick!
- [Carolina] You know,
the suits are supposed
to eliminate all waste.
You could probably throw up in your helmet
and it would take care of it for you.
- [York] Yeah, you should test that Wash.
- [Wash] You two are assholes.
- [Delta] Actually
York, we were never able
to get the vomit disposal
patch beyond beta.
Agent Washington would likely drown.
- [York] Yikes, way to kill the mood D.
- [479er] Hey York, send that
little green guy up here.
- [York] D, you hear
her, front and center.
- [Delta] May I be of assistance?
- [479er] Hey buddy, I need you to tell me
when I can fire the jets at
the last possible second,
you know, to avoid crashing.
- [Wash] Please don't say crashing.
- [Delta] I understand.
To prepare, I will need to
calibrate for your reaction time.
- [479er] Fine, go ahead.
- [Delta] When I say mark, you say sync,
Mark
- Sync
Mark
- Sync
Calibration complete.
- [479er] So we're good.
- [Delta] I have a high
degree of confidence.
We will be able to complete this maneuver.
- [479er] Wait a second.
Why did you just blink like that?
- [Delta] That was just a
standard maintenance routine.
- [479er] Dude, did you just
make a backup of yourself?
- [Delta] Confidence is one thing,
but it is always prudent
to prepare for failure.
- [479er] That's a dick move green guy.
- [Delta] I apologize if I have offend
- [479er] Dick. Move.
- [Delta] Prepare to
fire engines on my mark.
5, 4, 3
- [Guard] Hey.
- [Guard 2] Yeah?
- [Guard] You ever wonder why
- [Carolina] Everybody out!
(clamoring)
- [North] Let's move people.
- [Carolina] Yeah, let's move.
(gun firing)
- [North] South, stay behind me.
Go, go
- [Wash] York, move up!
- [York] On it.
Fuck they nays.
(rapid gunfire)
- [CT] They're here.
I didn't think they find me so quickly.
- [Leader] It was only a matter of time.
Let's deal with this.
All hands top side.
We are under attack.
This is not a drill.
Let's go people, move.
- [York] We gotta time this just right.
Wait for my mark.
- [Wash] Calling.
(gunshots)
- [Sniper Solider] Okay,
what have you got for me.
- [Carolina] All right boys, me first.
- [York] Now!
No wait, not now
not now.
- Come on.
- [Carolina] Dammit,
York we're pinned down.
I need you to take them out.
- [York] We can't get a
line of sight on the target
from here, but I might
have a way to contain them.
- [Carolina] Just do it.
- [North] Theta.
- [Theta] Ready.
- [North] Putting up a hail Mary.
I need you to guide me.
- [Theta] Okay.
(suspenseful music continues)
(rapid gunfire)
- [North] They say the best
offense is a good defense.
- [Solider] What the
Hold your fire people.
Stand down.
- [Solider 2] Hm, I got this.
- [Solider] No wait
(struggled groaning)
- [North] Did I get them?
- [Carolina] Yeah North, you got em.
- [North] Thanks for the help Theta.
- [Theta] You are welcome.
- [North] Okay, we're moving.
York, you guys can handle
this from here right?
- [York] Handle it?
Sure, I mean I nearly
got blown up a minute ago
and now I'm paired with a
squad second worst fighter,
but sure we can handle it.
- [North] Great, North out.
- [Wash] You really think
I'm the second worst fighter?
- [York] No, I was being nice.
You're easily the worst.
You were saying?
- [Wash] Uh-oh.
(yells)
(explosions)
(metal clanking)
uh-oh.
- Car!
- Dammit.
Shotgun
(gunfire ricochets)
- [Carolina] Oh fuck , no you don't.
- (solider) Sup bitch, it's payback time.
(rapid gunfire)
- [York] Oh, my head.
- [Wash] Okay, time to
fight fire with fire.
(electronic beeping)
(explosion)
(slow beeping)
- [Sigma] Agent Maine.
Isn't that the soldier from the freeway?
The one that shot you in the throat?
(Maine growls)
I thought so, sic him.
(suspenseful music continues)
(tires squealing)
(metal crunching)
(woman groans)
- [Sigma] Hello gentlemen.
- [York] Hey Sig.
You sure he's good to fight so soon?
He was hurt pretty bad.
- [Sigma] As compared to whom Agent York?
You two don't look so good yourselves.
Hello brother.
- [Delta] Sigma protocol
dictates that AI units
are not to communicate directly with each
- [Sigma] Protocol is just another way
of saying rules Delta.
Remember what the director says?
There are no rules on the battlefield.
Besides we AI should
really stick together.
Excuse me, I'll be right back.
- [York] I'll be honest.
That one kind of gives me the creeps.
- [Wash] Yeah, I hear ya.
Come on, let's move.
- [Carolina] Well, hello.
What a pleasure to see you again.
(loud crashes)
(mechanical whirring)
- [Female Solider]
Pleasure's all mine bitch.
(intense music continues)
(air whooshing quickly)
(clattering)
- [Solider] C'mere
(grunts)
(electricity crackling)
(mechanical whirring)
(grunting)
It's always you!
(grunting)
(air whooshing)
Ah, my robot arm!
Ah you bitch!
(crashing and thudding)
(music quickens)
(females grunting)
- [Female Solider] What?
Fuck
(yells)
- [Tucker] Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop
- [Sarge] Attention blue team.
We would like to propose a temporary truce
so we may discuss our current situation.
Do you accept?
- [Tucker] I don't get it,
does he still think we're
fighting or something?
- [Caboose] Maybe it's a trap.
- [Tucker] I doubt they're
smart enough to think of that.
But then again, neither are you.
- [Caboose] How do you know that?
Are you in with them?
- [Tucker] Yes, we accept.
So what's up?
- [Sarge] It's our mutual friend
slash enemy slash companion
or friendenmepanion for short.
- [Simmons] We're all starting
to get a little concerned
about Carolina.
- [Tucker] Really did
these concerns start before
or after she left us to die in the desert?
- [Grif] Dude, not now
the heat is killing me.
- [Simmons] Doesn't your
helmet have cooling fans?
- [Grif] Yeah, but I sweat
so much they short circuited
- [Simmons] Geez, we haven't even been
in the desert that long.
- [Grif] The desert?
These links broke during basic training.
- [Caboose] Yeah, I'm sorry.
I don't see how this applies to the trap.
- [Church] Guys, look.
We need to focus.
Now, I realize that asking a lot of you,
especially since we're all a
little uneasy around Carolina.
- [Grif] No,
uneasy is sitting next to
a homeless dude on the bus.
- [Simmons] Yeah, we've got
a trigger happy psychopath.
- [Sarge] It's like she's
some sort of half woman,
half shark.
Except the shark half has
been given cybernetic powers,
and the woman half is
also one quarter Jaguar.
- [Church] Okay, okay, okay.
We're all terrified of
the scary freelancer lady.
That's why we need to stick together.
It's just us against them.
- [Tucker] Them?
- [Church] We can't trust Wash.
At least not as long as she's around.
- [Sarge] All right then
tooth fairy, what's the plan?
- [Church] We need to figure out exactly
what Carolina is up to
and why she isn't telling us anything.
- [Caboose] Okay, I'll go ask her.
Oh, yeah, I promise not
to bring up the trap.
- [Church] No Caboose, look just, don't.
- [Caboose] Okay, fine, what
would you like me to ask her?
- [Tucker] You can go ask her
if she has the hots for me?
I think I might've felt
an emotional connection.
The last time she hit me.
- [Caboose] Tell her you'd like
to make an emotional hot
connection with her trap, got it.
- [Tucker] Oh, that's even better.
- [Church] Okay A, please
stop saying the word trap.
And B, you're an idiot.
- [Caboose] Okay, how about ambush?
- [Church] Guys I'm serious.
We need something subtle.
A way we can get close to
her without her knowing.
- [Simmons] Hmm, hey,
Caboose, you're the one
who put Epsilon in that floating
alien ball thing, right?
- [Caboose] Hover Church
can also solves crimes.
- [Simmons] Well, how would you feel
about putting him in something
a little different?
- [Church] Oh fuck you guys.
- [Caboose] You're so
also gonna make crimes.
(suspenseful music)
(mechanical whirring)
- [Wash] Catch.
Surprise.
- [Guard] We've got company coming.
Cut 'em down.
(electronic cries)
(loud rapid gunfire)
(electronic laughter)
Hold this position.
(gun fire)
(rapid gun fire)
- [Wyoming] Well about time.
- [Wash] Hey Wyoming,
did we miss all the fun?
- [Wyoming] Hardly chaps, now
where is our dear Carolina?
Ah yes.
- [Carolina] Wyoming, move up.
- [Wyoming] With all due respect,
I prefer not to be killed.
If at all possible.
- [Carolina] York, got any ideas?
- [York] I don't know,
have we got any nukes?
- [Carolina] You mean besides the one
I'm going to drop on Wyoming
if he doesn't move the hell up.
- [Wyoming] Yes I can
see everything just fine
from back here, thank you.
- [Carolina] We need
to get in that bunker.
That's where CT and their
leader are holed up.
- [Wash] How are we going
to get through all of this?
- [Wyoming] So far, we're not.
- [York] Maybe Wyoming should try
one of his knock knock jokes.
- [Wyoming] Ha, who's there?
- [York] Nobody, stop.
- [Wyoming] Nobody stop who?
Should I go on?
- [York] Yeah, I was kidding now shut up.
- [Wyoming] Shut up who?
- [Carolina] Both of you shut up.
Okay, here's what we're going to do.
Wash, you establish a line on that side.
York and Wyoming, you
(Electronic gun firing)
Dammit, no, cover me.
- [Wash] Cover me?
That's the plan?
- [York] Open fire.
(electronic whirring)
(gunfire)
- [Wash] Carolina, dammit.
Man, she really wants to win.
- [York] Yep, it's not them
she's fighting against.
- [Wash] Here.
I have no idea how she got here.
- [Carolina] That's because she didn't.
- [Wash] Is that who I think it is?
If what you're saying is true,
how could this have happened?
- [CT] We need to get the escape vehicle.
- [Leader] I'm not leaving them.
(mechanical whirring)
- [CT] You don't understand, they want me.
They don't care about the rest of you.
I know too much.
If I leave, they will follow me.
- [Texas] Quiet.
That room is guarded by turrets.
- [Carolina] I can get past them.
- [Texas] If there was a way to do it,
I would have already done it.
- [Carolina] York, I
need you to cut the power
on the main complex.
(mechanical whirring and gunfire)
- [York] Little busy out here.
- [Carolina] Just do it.
- [York] I'll see what I can do.
Sounds like a good excuse to
get out of this fire fight.
- [Wyoming] Good show
mate, that's the spirit.
Still a bit of fight in you.
(metal grinds)
(ax whirring)
(electronic whining)
(gunfire continues)
- [York] So much for that plan, what now?
(electronic whirring and garbles)
(whining)
(crashing)
- [York] Ha, I don't believe it!
We're all clear Carolina.
It'll be dark in less than 60.
- [Carolina] Roger that.
Don't forget our objective.
We're just here to retrieve the armor.
- [Texas] Carolina, I know
what the fucking objective is.
- [Leader] Dammit.
- [CT] We need to go.
- [Leader] I already told
you I can't leave them.
- [CT] Most of them are already dead.
Besides if we leave, they
have no reason to be here.
Please, let's just go while we still can.
- [Leader] Connie, come on.
- [CT] You promised me, you
said we would be together.
I have all the information we need.
I have my armor.
We can take this to the
right people and they'll
- [Leader] They'll what Connie?
- [CT] I don't know,
make a deal with that.
Keep us out of prison.
They'll help us.
Come on, we don't have much time.
- [Carolina] Actually,
you don't have any time.
- [CT] Carolina and you,
- [York] Hey Carolina, the powers off.
- [Carolina] We noticed.
- [York] What no thank you?
This was a complicated
- [Delta] Actually I did
most of the work Agent York.
- [York] Give it a rest D.
- [Texas] CT, you have something
that belongs to Project Freelancer
and you know how the
director hates to share.
- [CT] You two are full of
The director is playing
you, don't you see it?
- [Carolina] CT, stop it.
We know you've been feeding Intel
to the resistance for months.
- [Leader] Ha ha is that
who he told you we are?
- [CT] They're not the enemy Carolina.
We're the ones working outside the rules.
Not them.
You don't know what the director's done.
He's broken major laws.
When this war ends,
we're all going to have
to pay for his crime.
Maybe some of us are
already paying for them.
- [Texas] You need to stop talking CT.
- [CT] No, I know what you are, Tex.
And I won't take orders from a shadow.
- [Texas] What did you just call me?
- [Carolina] You're coming with us, CT.
This is your last chance.
- [CT] No, I'm not
going anywhere with you.
- [Texas] Actually, we don't need you.
We just need your armor.
(gunshot)
- No!
(rapid gunfire)
(metal clanking)
(metal whirring)
(gun fire)
(electricity cackling)
(metal clanking)
(air whooshing)
(static waves)
(grunting)
(metal clanking)
(air whooshing)
(metal crunching)
(cries out)
- [Carolina] What the hell are you doing?
- [Texas] Completing our objective.
- [Carolina] By killing a teammate?
- [Texas] She's not a teammate.
She's a traitor.
- [Texas] Dammit!
That's on you.
I guess you could explain how
we lost a full suit of armor
had failed to capture the
leader of the resistance.
Command, we need extraction now.
- [Command] I got 'em command.
Read you loud and clear Texas.
Clear me an LV and get ready for pickup.
- I don't know what's
gotten into you, Texas,
but you better figure out the difference
between your enemies and your friends.
(metal clanking)
(groaning)
- Connie, Connie
- Here, take the info.
It's not complete, but
it will get them started.
Go, find the new artifact.
- Just rest, Connie.
Just rest, Connie.
Connie?
Connie.
No.
No.
(mechanical whirring intensifying)
(loud crashing)
(somber music playing)
♪ With hand in mine we walked along ♪
♪ No hill to high no road was too long ♪
(gun cocks)
♪ Just stay with you now only dream ♪
♪ Just share with your
life with everything. ♪
- [Wash] That's what
happened to her armor.
- [Carolina] Apparently.
We never did complete our objective,
- [Wash] But why come out here?
What's the motivation?
- [Carolina] I have a
feeling this will tell us.
- [Tucker] So how do you feel?
- [Church] I feel
like running over each
and every one of you.
- [Tucker] So pretty
much the same as before.
- [Church] Yeah, pretty much.
- [Grif] You know, Simmons.
I think I'm going to let you
call shotgun on this one.
- [Simmons] Fuck that.
- [Church] Man, this sucks.
- [Tucker] What are you complaining about?
You finally got your own body.
- [Church] My own body?
Tucker, I'm a fucking Tonka truck.
- [Tucker] Okay, yeah.
But you could literally pick
up chicks with this thing.
- [Church] Oh yeah, because
every girl just dreams
about settling down with
Optimus prime, honk.
Caboose, don't do that.
- [Caboose] Sorry.
- [Sarge] All right places
people, here they come.
- [Caboose] Don't forget
to shout surprise.
- [Tucker] Caboose, shut up.
- [Carolina] Tucker,
bring Epsilon over here.
I've got some questions for him.
- Tu God dammit.
- [Carolina] Any luck?
- [Wash] I think so.
All right, data pad accepted.
It looks like we're in business.
- [Tucker] So a what
do you need church for?
- [Carolina] I just told you.
- [Tucker] Oh yeah, but I mean,
you can talk to me instead, sup girl.
- [Carolina] Why on earth
would I ever want to do that?
- [Tucker] Well, you know,
we're a perfect match.
We're both super good
looking bad-ass rebel loners,
and we've got the same color armor.
Greenish blue.
Uh, aquamarine.
Turquoise?
Hey, what the fuck color is this anyway?
- [Wash] Listen, it's
important that we figure out
what's on CT's data pad.
It might be our next clue
to finding the director.
- [Tucker] Hey, I know that thing.
- [Carolina] Wait, you
recognize this artifact?
- [Tucker] Hell yeah, it was
the biggest pain in the ass.
- [Caboose] Hi it's Church.
You know he has lost a lot of weight.
- [Carolina] What?
- [Tucker] Oh yeah.
Caboose transferred
Epsilon from a memory unit
into that thing a long time ago.
- [Carolina] Where is it now?
- [Tucker] I don't know who cares.
- [Carolina] I do.
- [Tucker] Oh,
well in that case, uh
Caboose, tell her where it is.
- [Caboose] Right, yes. Okay.
Right, yes.
I will do that, yes.
Right now.
- [Grif] Well, Sarge, you always
wanted to watch a blue die.
Looks like you're going to
get your wish after all.
- [Sarge] Actually Grif,
it's always been my wish to watch you die.
- [Grif] Oh, right, yeah.
- [Sarge] Yep,
every night after you boys
would retire to your bunks
I would climb up to the top
of the base and just wait.
Hoping I would see a shooting star
so that I could wish for your violent
and unbearably painful demise.
- [Grif] Okay, you can stop now.
- [Sarge] I even had a little
jingle to go along with it.
- [Grif] Please don't.
♪ I just wish that Grif was dead. ♪
I hate you.
♪ Put a bullet through his head. ♪
What the, Simmons, how
do you know that song?
- [Simmons] Oh, it's been
in my dreams for years.
Now it all makes sense.
Oh, thank God.
- [Grif] What?
- [Simmons] I thought I was crazy
when I woke up with
that rifle in my hands.
- [Sarge] Ha ha, well
ain't the power of music.
- [Grif] Simmons, why didn't
you tell me about this?
- [Simmons] Oh shut up,
it wasn't even loaded.
- [Carolina] How
can you just leave an
ancient alien artifact
on the floor of a warehouse.
- [Caboose] Okay, yeah, hold on.
I mean, to be fair, you know,
we had already broken it.
- [Wash] Uh oh, that's not right.
- [Carolina] Ugh,
I can't believe we came
all this way for nothing.
- [Wash] You guys are not
making my life easy right now.
- [Tucker] Do we ever?
- [Wash] Good point.
So, what's the plan now?
- [Carolina] There's an island
nearby that I want to visit.
Shouldn't take more than a day or so.
- [Wash] That old fortress?
Carolina, I'm not sure there's a
- [Carolina] Wash, trust me on this?
- [Wash] Right.
You should probably
listen to your instincts.
- [Carolina] You stay here
and keep the SIM troopers
from causing any trouble.
I won't be long.
- [Wash] All right, everyone,
move into the temple.
It'll be getting dark soon.
- [Tucker] Hey Wash, where
exactly is she going?
- [Wash] She lost something.
I think she just needs some
time to try and find it again.
- [Malcolm] Dear Director,
the loss of military equipment
is a severe infraction.
I should not need to remind
you that all UNSC property,
especially our more
experimental technologies
must be kept from the hands
of our enemies at all costs.
In these trying times,
vigilance is paramount.
(York yawns)
- [North] Still training at this hour?
- [York] Yeah, she's been like this
since we got back from the last mission.
- [North] You gotta be kidding me.
She's always been like this.
- [York] Well, yeah.
I mean, she never did know when to stop,
but now it's like, she
doesn't know how to stop.
Always training.
I guess the leaderboard beckons.
- [North] You know, you
don't have to watch over her.
- [York] Could say the
same to you about South.
- [North] That's not really an answer.
- [York] So what are you doing awake?
- [North] Theta, couldn't sleep.
And if Theta can't sleep.
- [York] Ah,
one of the side effects
they don't tell you about.
Having someone else's voice in your head
sure does take some getting
used to it, doesn't it?
Delta's always running
these probabilities.
- [North] Well that seems annoying.
- [York] He says it's fun.
You know, did you know that statistically
you're as likely to get hit by lightning
as you are to die in a Pelican crash?
- [North] It seems like it would be higher
considering our line of work.
Guess I'm due for a few lightning bolts.
- [FILSS] Round complete,
a 6.3% increase in efficiency that round
Agent Carolina
- Run it again FILSS
Resetting training room
floor for next round.
(electronic beeping)
- [York] Is Theta up late often?
- [North] You're wondering
if he gets scared a lot.
- [York] Yeah, I guess I am.
- [North] Well, it happens.
Mainly at night.
He likes when I walk the halls.
When we were kids, my dad
would have to drive South
around in the car to
get her to fall asleep.
It's kind of the same thing.
- [York] I wonder if
they're are like this.
The AI's, you know, jittery, nervous.
No, not nervous.
- [North] Anxious.
- [York] Yeah.
Anxious.
It's like Delta thinks something bad
is always about to happen.
I don't get it.
What do they have to worry about?
- [North] Uh, pelican
crashes, lightning strikes?
Hey, maybe they know something we don't.
(electronic whooshing)
(north yawns)
- [York] Why don't you
just pull him for a night?
Get yourself some sleep?
- [North] Pull Theta?
- [York] Yeah.
- [North] He gets even
more scared when I do that,
I feel obligated to help.
- [York] I see why they picked you.
- [North] Yeah.
- [York] Well he has to
face his fear at some point.
If they want to be human,
that's a good place to start.
- [North] What can I tell you,
I guess some things are just
harder to face than others.
- [York] Yeah, good night North.
- [North] Don't stay up too late.
You need your rest.
- [FILSS] Round complete.
- [Carolina] Run it again.
- [FILSS] That last round showed a 3.6%
- [Carolina] Run it again.
- [FILSS] Resetting training room floor.
(Electronic whooshing)
Round complete
- [Carolina] Run it again.
- [FILSS] Resetting training
room floor for next round.
- [York] I think we all
could use some rest.
- [Carolina] Okay, I'll take the lead.
Give me 15 seconds to follow sync.
- [York] Sync.
- [robotic] Fire detected,
cover recommended
- [Carolina] Dammit, Damn!
Cover, Cover, Cover!
- [York] Ah!
- [Carolina] York are okay?
How bad is it D?
- [Delta] York will not survive.
- [Carolina] I'm sorry York.
Sorry I didn't listen.
I just, I don't understand.
Why her?
Why Tex?
- [Church] Tex?
- [Carolina] You.
- [Church] Ah, shit.
- [Carolina] Let me guess,
just wanted some information.
- Carolina, I
- You don't have a clue
do you?
You and your friends just think
I'm some blood thirsty merc
with a bad attitude, but you know what?
You're wrong.
I'm much worse.
- [Church] Look, you go and
round up everyone I know,
just to bring me back and then
you keep us all in the dark?
What the hell did you think
was going to happen Carolina?
Of course, no one trusts you.
- [Carolina] Well, I
don't trust them Epsilon.
I don't trust anyone anymore.
- [Church] Oh, why not?
Because having friends would
ruin the whole psychotic loner
bitch thing you've got going on?
Because that would be a real shame.
- [Carolina] It's because
I had a team once.
A team with the best
training, the best equipment.
And despite everything that
they had that made them the
best, they still lied and stole
and tore each other to pieces.
So you tell me how the hell am
I supposed to trust a ragtag
team of idiots when I couldn't
even trust the people that
were closest to me.
That's what I thought.
- [Grif] I never thought I'd
say this, but I can't sleep.
- [Simmons] Yes we know.
You've been shoveling food
into your mouth for an hour.
- [Tucker] Yeah, what's up with that?
- [Grif] It's a nervous habit, okay?
- [Tucker] No where the fuck
does someone find potato chips
in the middle of the desert?
- [Sarge] Ah, quit your complaining,
Carolina's probably miles away by now,
the only thing we've got to
worry about are sand fleas.
And the other highly trained
operative on patrol outside.
- [Tucker] Wow.
You have a way with words
that just immediately makes me
want to kill myself.
- [Sarge] Look, it's like
your little fairy friend said.
- [Grif] I thought Donut was your friend.
- [Simmons] He means church.
- [Sarge] All we've got
to do is stick together,
and everything will be just fine.
- [Grif] Well, somebody probably
should have told Caboose
that cause he's gone.
- [Church] Carolina?
- [Carolina] I'm done talking to you.
- [Church] Carolina,
I think I found something
you might want to see.
- [Carolina] Really?
What might that be?
- [Delta] A memory.
- [Carolina] Delta?
- [Delta] We
must be brief, Epsilon is
struggling to remember.
- [Carolina] Remember what?
Delta, Delta please don't.
- [York] Good evening, beautiful people.
It's a lovely Monday night
and I'm here with another
adrenaline pumping journal entry,
courtesy of our good friend Delta.
- [Carolina] It can't be.
- [Delta] York, please,
documentation is an important part
- [York] Yeah yeah, Jimmie Christmas.
Forgive me for trying to lighten the mood.
So today I intercepted some
interesting messages from our
good friends over at Project Freelancer.
It sounds like someone is
causing them a bit of trouble.
Old news, I know, old news, but
here's the interesting part.
D give me a drum roll, please.
- [Delta] I would prefer not to.
- [York] They said she,
she, as in a lady, not Wyoming, not Maine,
but a former female freelancer
has suddenly popped up on the PFL radar.
And if you know me, then you know
my money is on the gal and
the greenish blues, sea foam,
green turquoise, whatever it is, armor.
Okay, well at least if I had any money.
- [Carolina] Wait!
- [York] Still no ID on
our female troublemaker.
But given what I know about
South's last location,
fairly certain the odds are in my favor.
- [Delta] Again
I must point out that for
the statistical standpoint
the odds of Agent Carolina
- [York] In other news.
Hurricane Delta continues
to rain on my parade.
So when I finally see her again,
I think I've narrowed down my line
to like two options, okay, here they are.
One, Hey there, Carolina.
If I said, I like your armor,
would you hold it against me?
Or two,
- [Delta] York, please focus.
- [York] What?
Pickup lines are important D.
Did I ever tell you about how we met?
See, I was out one night with my buddies,
they abandoned me some
ridiculous nightclub.
I think it was called
- [In Unison] Arara
- [York] So I'm just
sitting there at the bar,
bored out of my skull.
I'm flicking this lighter off and on
then from out of nowhere, she walks up.
She just grabs the lighter
right out of my hand.
And she goes,
Agent Foxtrot 12 journal entry, 0424,
intercepted another
transmission from command today.
They have confirmed that
Agent Texas continues to
evade the response teams that
she still does possess the
omega AI, nothing more to report.
- [Delta] York?
- [York] You know D,
I bet if I had opened
up with a pickup line,
I would have never seen her again.
- [Delta] Why is that?
- [York] Because
she probably would have
busted my other eye.
- [Delta] What would
you have told her, York?
- [York] I would have told her
that I understand why
she did what she did.
I just wish she hadn't.
I wish you could have
learned to let things go.
I guess I should too.
- [Carolina] Why did you show me that?
- [Church] Because I know what
it's like to spend your life
chasing ghosts.
- [Caboose] Sneaking,
sneaking, sneaking, sneaking
- [Wash] Hello, Caboose.
- [Caboose] Hello Agent Washington.
- [Wash] Caboose,
you know, you're supposed
to be in the temple
with the rest of your squad.
- [Caboose] Um, yes,
um well, um but see um,
I am spying on you.
- [Wash] And why are you
spying on me Caboose?
- [Caboose] Well, cause um,
since everyone is kind of scared
of you and uh Carolina.
We think we should try and
get as much information
on you guys as possible.
So where do you guys see yourself
in the next five to 10 years?
- [Wash] Caboose?
You realize that when you spy on someone,
no one's actually supposed to know
that you're spying on them, right?
- [Caboose] Oh yeah, I know.
I just figured you wouldn't tell anyone.
- [Wash] Wait, what makes you think that?
- [Caboose] Oh, come on agent, I mean,
I'm pretty sure we can trust you.
I mean we are friends.
- [Wash] Friend.
- [Carolina] I don't understand.
These are more than memory.
- [Church] His journal
entries were part of
the data that Wash recovered
and they stored them
in his personnel file,
which just so happened to be
one of the many folders
that yours truly picked up.
The last time I visited
a freelancer facility.
Not bad for a rag tag idiot,
if I do say so myself.
Feel free to start begging
for my forgiveness,
whatever you feel like it, Carolina.
- [Carolina] Not happening.
- [Church] What, seriously?
- [Carolina] But I will thank you.
- [Church] Yeah, well I'm pretty great.
- [Carolina] Church, the director
still out there somewhere,
and I need to find him not
just for what he did to me,
but for what he did to
York and to Wash, to Maine,
the twins, to all of them.
And for what he did to you church.
I guess I forgot that
in a way you were there alongside us too.
- [Church] You know, the
more memories I sift through,
the more that sounds like
a pretty damn good plan.
- [Carolina] Find anything
that could help us out?
- [Church] Yeah,
it's a lot of stuff to
remember all at once,
but I might be able to pull
up some of the director's logs
if you gave me some time.
Well, you'll have plenty
of time on our ride back.
- [Church] About that.
Hey, is there any way we
can get back to the others
that doesn't involve me carrying you?
- [Carolina] Wow, church.
I didn't know an AI unit could
get so easily embarrassed.
Tell you what?
Just tell your friends
that you picked me up.
How does that sound?
- [Church] Remind me never to
let you talk to Tucker again.
- [Carolina] All right.
Pack it up people were moving.
- [Grif] Where to now?
- [Carolina] There's
an old ship that crashed
in a freelancer outpost
a few years back.
- [Wash] Outpost 17B?
- [Simmons] You mean we're
going back to Valhalla?
- [Sarge] Back to our own base?
- [Church] That's right assholes.
You're finally going home and
you're taking us with you.
- [Carolina] Ugh, dammit.
(suspenseful music)
- [Sigma] Did the training session
go poorly Agent Carolina?
- [Carolina] No, it went fine.
It's just not good enough.
- [Sigma] That is most unusual for you.
- [Carolina] Why does she
even have a locker in here?
If she doesn't use our locker room?
I mean What is so special about her?
- [Sigma] She does seem
to get special treatment,
doesn't she?
Strange, considering she's
not the best freelancer.
- [Gamma] It's probably because of Omega.
- [Sigma] Now Gamma, we're not
meant to speak about Omega.
You know the rules.
- [Carolina] Well, hello
Gamma, does Wyoming know
you're talking to another AI?
- [Gamma] I am not talking to another AI.
We are both talking to you.
- [Carolina] Who is Omega?
- [Sigma] He is one of our brothers.
- [Gamma] He is the strongest of us.
- [Carolina] And Agent Texas has him?
She uses an AI.
- [Sigma] Hm, I don't think
it's our place to say.
- [Gamma] All the top agents have an AI.
- [Sigma] Well, except you
Carolina, you chose not to.
- [Carolina] That lying,
This all makes sense now,
I have been an idiot.
She's not better than me.
It's all been Omega.
- [Gamma] Omega's strength is unmatched.
I don't know if anyone could beat him.
At least not alone.
- [Sigma] No, no, not alone.
We are just fragments after all, pieces.
Omega and Texas are something else.
- [Gamma] But if we were together,
- [Sigma] Together.
What an interesting concept Gam.
- [Gamma] Together.
- [Carolina] You've just given me an idea.
- [Sigma] I do hope you'll
use it well, Agent Carolina.
Ideas are some of our most potent weapons.
- [Carolina] Don't worry about me.
I'll be fine.
- [Sigma] Yes.
I'm sure you will be.
- [Counselor] How do you feel?
- [Texas] I need to get
back into the fight.
These targets just aren't doing it for me.
- You'll be back in the
field soon enough, Texas.
For now, just focus on your training.
- [Texas] I'm tired of training
I need something else.
- [Counselor] Have you noticed a change
in your aggression, Agent Texas?
- [Texas] I don't see how that
(groans)
- [Director] Carolina?
What are you doing here?
The training room is
off limits when you're
- [Carolina] When you're with your pet?
Yes.
I know.
I don't care.
I need to talk to you.
- [Texas] You know, Counselor.
I think I am noticing a change
in my aggression levels.
- [Counselor] Everyone,
please just remain calm.
Carolina, you can use the training room
when you are next assigned.
- [Carolina] I want an AI.
- [Director] An AI?
What has caused this
sudden change of heart?
- [Carolina] It doesn't matter.
I'm still at the top of the leaderboard,
- [Texas] Not the top of the leaderboard.
- [Carolina] And you can keep
your comments to yourself.
I know all about your little secret.
what you really are.
the next AI that comes up is mine.
- [Texas] Fill me in Carolina,
what exactly is my secret?
- [Director] Both of you stand down.
All right Carolina, if you want an AI,
then you will have an AI.
In fact, you can choose.
Agents Washington and South Dakota
are both due for implantation today.
We have two AI, Eta and Iota
ready for field testing.
Which one of your teammates
you think you should delay?
I'll leave that up to you.
- [Counselor] Director
- [Director] No, if she thinks
our decisions are so easy,
then let her make one.
What's it going to be Carolina?
- [Carolina] And whatever
I choose you will do?
- [Director] That's right!
- [Carolina] Then I want them both.
- [Counselor] Excuse me?
- [Director] Carolina, you
can not have them both.
- [Carolina] Yes, I can.
These suits, wherever they came from
are designed to handle a full AI.
And as you are so fond of
telling us these not full AI,
they're just fragments.
And from what I can tell,
the newer ones are getting
weaker all the time.
So I want them both or I'm sorry,
is that decision too tough for you?
- [Director] Counselor
move agents Washington and South Dakota
back in the schedule and prepare
agent Carolina for surgery.
- [Counselor] I think if we
let cooler heads prevail,
we will
- [Director] If you wanted to deal
with cooler heads Counselor,
perhaps you should have
joined the coast guard.
Prep her for surgery.
- [Carolina] You won't regret this.
- [Director] No, Agent Carolina,
I very much doubt that I will.
(door slams)
- [Texas] Hey, that was gutsy.
Hope it works out for you.
- [Carolina] When it does,
you'll be the first to know.
- [Texas] I look forward to it.
(intense music)
(slow somber music)
- [Wash] Pelican's over there.
That's where Tex ended up.
- [Carolina] You mean
her body ended up there,
- [Wash] Right.
- [Carolina] Show me
- [Simmons] Wait, what about the military?
This can all be a trap, remember?
- [Carolina] What are you talking about?
- [Sarge] Wash told us we
were fugitives of the law,
bandits, cast out by society,
with no hope of redemption.
- [Simmons] Yeah, and that the
UNSC would be waiting for us
when we got back to base.
- [Wash] It was a possibility.
- [Carolina] So let me get this straight.
- [Tucker] Hey, church, over here.
- [Church] Yeah hey, what?
I can't talk too long.
My connection with Carolina's
memory units' not so good.
What's up?
- [Tucker] Uh, not much
my first time here,
so I'm just taking it all in,
really enjoying the scenery.
What about you?
- [Church] Well, I mean, yeah, you know,
now that you mention it,
the trees are kind of nice.
Especially in comparison to
the desolate environment of the
sand and the wait, wait,
wait, wait, what is that it?
- [Tucker] No, that's not it.
What the fuck are you doing with Carolina?
- [Church] Hey, calm down.
It turns out she's more
complicated than we thought.
- [Caboose] Like monopoly.
Or like the board game.
- [Tucker] Church, just because you want
to get close to someone
doesn't mean you have
to end up inside them.
- [Church] Oh, come on.
Aren't you going to say it?
- [Tucker] No because I'm pissed off.
- [Church] All right.
All right, look guys.
I'm still on your side, okay?
But if Carolina is hiding something,
I'm going to have to stay close
to her in order to find it.
See proximity is the key.
- [Tucker] I thought memory was the key.
- [Caboose] Oh yeah and sword,
sword is key too.
- [Tucker] Caboose shut up.
- [Church] Hey I gotta
go, we'll talk later.
- [Caboose] We should
probably get a key ring.
- [Simmons] So are you guys
going to give us anything to do?
- [Carolina] Just sit tight.
In fact don't do anything.
At all.
- [Simmons] Fine.
- [Grif] Now that's the kind
of order I can get behind.
Next do you think she'll
tell us to sleep in tomorrow
or order us to stop bathing for a week?
- [Simmons] Wait, what you're done that?
- [Grif] No, I want to say no
- [Sarge] We've been
sitting dead for days.
If I sit entire I'll strangle my seat.
- [Grif] I'm not worried.
I can use the break.
- [Sarge] We haven't done anything.
- [Grif] Exactly, avoiding
work is kind of what I do.
So if you think about it,
I've been on the clock this entire time.
I should be getting
paid overtime for this.
- [Simmons] You get paid overtime?
- [Grif] Uh, yeah, time and
a half over 40 hours, dude.
Time and a half and a half over 60.
It's a shame there aren't
any numbers higher than 60.
- [Simmons] What?
Seriously?
- [Grif] I've never gotten it though.
One time I thought he did,
but it turns out you have
to do it in just one week.
Could've sworn it was monthly.
- [Simmons] They told me I
wasn't eligible for overtime.
I put in 60 hours a week.
- [Grif] Weird, well tell me
they at least met your 401k.
- [Sarge] Fringe, benefits,
I'm tired of all this waiting.
Come on fellows, now's our chance.
- [Simmons] I don't know.
You know how I feel about
taking chances, sir.
- [Sarge] You said
little Pez was shot here.
Let's go get him back.
Leave no man behind Simmons.
No robot without his nuts.
No warthog unlubed.
- [Simmons] That doesn't make any sense.
- [Grif] He's robot, Simmons.
We can rebuild him and
activate him at any time.
Gives us an edge over those pesky blues.
In the battle of ghost versus robots,
robots always win, except in anime.
- [Simmons] No, I mean,
it didn't make sense why we would do that.
He's an awful soldier.
- [Sarge] But he's a great mechanic.
- [Simmons] Nothing's broken.
- [Sarge] Oh, contraire, Lopez is broken.
You said so yourself.
He can get to work on that.
- [Simmons] But what we
would have to fix him
in order for him to you see
he's the, you know what?
Just nevermind.
- [Sarge] Ah, ha so you see the point.
- [Simmons] Yes, I see the point.
It's just not the one you're making, sir.
Let's go.
- [Grif] Yeah, I think I'll
stay here and take a siesta.
Lopez would have wanted it that way.
- [Sarge] A siesta?
I don't know if I'm angry that
he's bucking responsibility,
or happy that he took my multicultural
squad seminar to heart.
That was one of the best
pep talks I've ever given.
And that's saying something.
- [Simmons] But sir, I gave that seminar.
You made me work on it for weeks.
I even did the traditional
quinceanera dance.
- [Sarge] Oh, couldn't've been that great.
I don't even remember it.
Let's go with Simmons.
- [Caboose] Hey, they're all leaving.
You know what?
I'm gonna see our awesome new base.
It's so much basier than our old one.
I miss it so much!
- [Tucker] So much for sticking together.
- [South] What?
This is Bullshit.
- [North] South, calm down.
- [South] Calm down?
That's easy for you to say,
you already have an AI.
Who the fuck is she to
take away our place?
- [Wash] Our turn will come,
They've already put me
back on the list for
- [South] What?
- [York] You ever notice,
every time you open your mouth,
you make things worse?
- [Wash] Sorry.
- [South] And two AI?
Why is she so special?
What's so special about either of them?
(crashing)
- [Texas] Pick it up.
- [York] What are you doing in here?
You never come in here.
- [Texas] I've come for Carolina.
Pick it up.
(clanking)
- [North] I should probably, I better go.
- [Texas] Where is she?
- [York] Look, Texas.
I don't know if you're looking for a fight
or whatever it is you want,
but now's really not the time.
Carolina just went into surgery.
We don't know when she'll be out.
So we're heading over to
recovery to wait for her.
- [Wash] Yeah.
Recovery one.
Maybe you should come with us.
- [York] Let's go.
You coming Texas?
- [Texas] Yeah, go on York.
I'm right behind ya.
(suspenseful music)
- [Tucker] This is the awesome new base?
It looks the same as the
shitty old base to me.
- [Caboose] Oh you're gonna love it here.
You know, it's like a home away from home
that we can't ever get away from.
- [Tucker] So let me get this straight.
It's just two bases in the
middle of a box canyon.
- [Caboose] Yes.
But on one side, instead of a wall,
there's an endless supply of water.
- [Tucker] Wow.
You guys really know how to upgrade.
Let me guess.
I bet this time we've got
a tank with eight pedals
instead of six.
- [Caboose] Ah, don't be silly.
We don't have a tank.
- [Carolina] All right, what have you got?
- [Wash] Not much a few
shell casings, a dog tag.
- [Carolina] I was talking to church.
- [Wash] Oh, sorry I
- [Church] Hey what's up somebody call me?
- [Carolina] Yeah, find anything yet?
- [Church] Oh, not yet.
But the onboard computer
programs an old friend of mine,
she's doing her best to help me out.
- [Carolina] Good, keep it up.
Wash, is there a reason
you're just standing there
doing nothing?
Get back to it.
- [Wash] Um, right.
Yes sir, boss.
- [Carolina] You can't keep
your secrets forever Texas.
Not from me.
Never from me.
(suspenseful music)
(mechanical whirring)
(supsenseful music continues)
- [Wash] So how's the patient?
- [Wyoming] Should be
coming around any moment.
- [York] What's he in for?
- [Wash] Probably for all the
headaches he's been having.
Did you ever get them after
you were earned Delta?
- [York] At first, it went
away pretty quick though.
The other side effects were way worse.
- [Wash] What other side effects?
- [York] You know, bleeding
from the eyes, ringing ears,
inverted penis.
- [Wash] Inverted what?
- [York] I'm just fucking with you, okay?
Couple of headaches.
That's it.
- [Wash] So what's
different about Maine then?
- [York] Hey, she's awake.
How you feeling Champ?
(sinister music)
- [Carolina] I want a match.
Right now.
- [FILSS] A new challenger has arrived.
Today's matchup is Agent
Texas versus Agent Carolina.
- [York] Okay, just pick
a piece of equipment
you know how to use already.
Or just grab everything and
anything that works too,
I guess.
- [Texas] Hey, I've got this one, Omega.
- [Omega] Gah next time.
- [FILSS] Agent York,
please clear the floor.
- [York] In a second FILSS.
Now at first, the voice of the AI.
Sorry, AI's.
It will feel like a tickle, okay?
Just focus on that and it will get clear.
Trust them.
I know that'll be hard.
But I promise they'll help.
- [FILSS] Agent York,
clear the floor, please.
- [York] In a second, FILSS.
- [FILSS] Clear the floor
or enter the match, York.
Your choice.
- [York] For the record, I
would stay to support you,
but she's really damn scary.
Okay, maybe you're both pretty scary.
Got to go.
- [North] Anyone want to bet
that one of them gets killed?
- [Wash] Are you kidding?
I'm hoping one of us doesn't
get killed just by watching.
- [FILSS] Round begins in
three, two, one, Begin.
Good luck ladies.
- [Agent Tex and Agent Carolina]
Thanks, I won't need it.
(electricity cackles)
(girls cry out in pain)
- [Director] What the
hell is going on here?
No matches have been
authorized for no, Alison.
- [Distorted Voices] Alison!
Alison, Alison, Alison,
Alison, Alison, Alison
Alison, Alison, Alison Alison, Alison
(creaking)
(chirping)
(shrill screaming)
(crying out)
(screaming)
- [Carolina] Make them stop,
make them stop, make them stop the voices.
Make the voices stop.
- [Counselor] Director,
we should sedate Carolina, immediately.
We have no idea how
much damage two AI could
- [Director] No, she made
her decision, let her be.
- [York] Come on, somebody help her.
- [Texas] What the fuck is going on?
Somebody get me out of here.
- [Director] You are all dismissed.
(crying and screaming continue)
- [Iota And Eta] Yes, end her.
Do it.
We know you want to.
Do it, do it, do it.
- [Nurse] Sorry, kid.
This is for your own good.
(sudden alarming music)
- [Carolina] Nothing, nothing, a dead end.
Dammit, not again.
- [Church] Hey, watch it.
I'm still in here.
- [Wash] Response teams.
Beat us to the crash.
Plain and simple.
We knew the chances of finding
something here were slim.
- [Carolina] Okay, well
what about the bases?
- [Wash] Blue base was swept clean.
As for red base, any evidence
that might've been there
was completely destroyed
during the construction
of some kind of giant
holographic projection room.
- [Church] Man,
those guys are really
starting to find creative ways
to ruin my life.
Mother fuckers.
- [Carolina] This is our
third wild goose chase Wash.
Even after she's gone,
Texas is still finding
ways to screw me over.
- [Wash] You can't blame her for this.
Time isn't on our side Carolina,
any trails he left behind
likely went cold years ago.
- [Carolina] Are you
suggesting we give up?
- [Wash] Of course not, I was just
- [Carolina] Good, then
go spread the word.
We're leaving.
- [Wash] But we just got here.
- [Carolina] What's your point?
- [Wash] Well, don't you
think we're pushing these guys
a little too hard?
This place is pretty much home to them.
They may not be ready to leave it so soon.
- [Church] Yeah, I'm
real choked up about it.
- [Carolina] Despite what
those idiots may think.
This is not a road trip.
This is a mission and I
will see it completed.
Is that understood agent Washington?
- [Wash] Yes, boss.
- [Church] Heh, what the
hell happened to that guy?
Didn't he used to be a
bad-ass, just like you and Tex?
Ow, I'm a mess, just like
you, just like just you.
Only you, nobody else.
(radio playing)
- [Sarge] There he is!
Spanish inquisition,
someone's been torturing him.
- [Simmons] Huh, I don't think so, sir.
He kind of looks like a scarecrow.
- [Sarge] Savages,
and they've erected
this fence as a warning
for civilized people to stay away.
- [Simmons] It actually
looks like a garden.
Wait a minute, is that compost?
Sustainable farming?
Environmentally friendly housing?
Oh no.
- [Sarge] What?
- [Donut] Oh hey guys!
I thought I heard voices.
- [Sarge] Donut?
- [Donut] Hi Sarge!
Long time no see!
- [Simmons] I thought you were dead.
- [Sarge] You know,
we sure seem to say that a lot these days.
- [Donut] I almost was.
That jerk Washington
shot me in the stomach,
but then my armor locked up on me.
Kept me alive for a while
until it unlocked again
for some reason.
It was horrible.
Do you know what removes
bloodstains from this armor?
Not a lot, I tell you.
I laid there forever
wondering how I was going
to get all that dark red
out of this light red, ya know?
- [Simmons] How did you survive?
When your armor unlocked, you
would've just bled to death.
- [Sarge] And when did
you get all new age-y?
- [Simmons] Uh oh
- [Sarge] What?
- [Simmons] Sarge, think about it.
Medical attention?
Cringe holistic lifestyle choices?
You know what that means?
- [Doc] Wow, look what the cat dragged in?
And by dragged in I mean,
spit out like a hairball.
Hey guys.
- [Sarge] Simmons, is that Doc behind us?
- [Simmons] I think so.
- [Sarge] Simmons, get my gun.
- [Simmons] You're holding it, sir.
- [Sarge] Oh, right.
Simmons, I'm gonna need
you to commence Operations
Point My Gun At Doc.
- [Simmons] But sir,
Operation Point My Gun At Doc
was just a code phrase for
Operation Point My Gun At Grif.
- [Sarge] Fine, switch to
Operation Point My Gun At Grif.
- [Simmons] Hey actually sir,
that one was just what it sounds like.
Sorry.
- [Sarge] Double drat.
- [Carolina] Hey you, orange one.
Where's the rest of your team?
- [Grif] How should I know?
- [Carolina] You don't
report into each other?
- [Grif] Oh yeah.
I mean, I get reports.
- [Carolina] You might be the
worst soldiers I've ever met.
- [Grif] Hey, I take offense at that.
What do you mean, might be?
- Here they come.
Let's move out.
- [Grif] Hey guys, did you find Lopez?
- [Simmons] Yeah, Donut
nailed him to a board.
He's staying here.
- [Grif] I thought Donut was dead.
- [Sarge] Yeah, we really
need to stop saying that.
- [Simmons] He almost was,
but Doc fixed him up and
now they live together.
They say hi by the way.
Oh, and they baked us this banana bread.
- [Grif] How nice!
I'm going to have to forget
to send them a thank you card.
Hey Simmons, when you say
Donut nailed Lopez to a board.
- [Simmons] I mean with nails.
- [Grif] Okay.
Had to ask.
- [Simmons] No, no, I understand.
I, I should've been clearer.
That's my fault.
- [Tucker] Hey, what's the deal.
We're leaving already?
- [Carolina] That's right.
You got a problem with that?
- [Church] Uh, Carolina why
don't you let me handle this.
Tucker, what do you want?
- [Tucker] I want to know what
you found out about Carolina.
Is she evil?
Is she crazy?
Is she crazy evil?
- [Caboose] Is she pretty?
- [Tucker] Oh yeah, is she hot?
Oh, or is she a dude?
- [Church] Guys
I've got more important
things to do right now.
- [Tucker] What are you talking about?
You're supposed to be spying on her.
She's the enemy, remember?
Us against them.
- [Church] Hey, you don't know
anything about her Tucker.
You have no idea what she's been through.
- [Tucker] Since when did, look.
- [Church] Would you guys
just get in the fucking car
so we can leave already?
Thank you.
- [Carolina] What was that about?
- [Church] Nothing.
I need to talk to you.
- [Texas] How's she doing?
- [North] No idea.
Docs thought she would've woken up by now.
But she's still under.
- [Texas] How long has he been there?
- [North] He hasn't left her side yet.
- [Texas] It's been days.
- [North] And he's dedicated.
- [Texas] You know, your sister petitioned
to get one of Carolina's AI's.
- [North] She didn't.
- [Texas] Sure did.
- [North] I'll talk to her.
That's inappropriate.
- [Texas] Yeah, inappropriate's a word.
So is vulture.
Piece of advice, one soldier to another,
You watch her.
- [North] Something's different with you.
- [Texas] You have an AI, right?
- [North] Theta, yeah.
- [Texas] Take'd some getting used to?
- [North] I'll say.
- [Texas] Well, let's just say mine
took a little longer than most.
I'm not sure I want to depend on him.
- [North] You've been pulling him.
- [Texas] Haven't used them in days.
- [North] Does the director know?
- [Texas] No, and he's not going to.
No one needs to know.
- [North] They have to
stop implanting now.
I mean, after this.
- [Texas] Wash's up for surgery next.
- [North] You're kidding me.
- [Texas] Eh, time marches on.
So does Project Freelancer.
- [North] Yeah,
and lately it seems like
we're getting trampled
in the process.
- [Texas] Hey call me when she
wakes up or if she doesn't.
- [North] Will do.
- [Theta] I think I'm starting to like her
at least better than I did before.
- [North] Yeah, she grows on you.
- [Theta] Still scary tho.
- [North] Oh yeah, plenty scary.
(chiming)
- [Counselor] Are you there Alpha?
Are you there?
- [Alpha] Yes, I'm here, I'm here.
Hello?
Don't leave, hey Counselor?
Are you there?
- [Counselor] I'm here.
- [Alpha] What, what happened?
Is everybody okay?
- [Counselor] Perhaps you
should ask the Director.
- [Alpha] Why, does that
means something happened?
- [Director] Hello Alpha.
- [Alpha] Director,
please what is going on?
- [Director] There was another incident,
Security failed.
- [Alpha] I gave you the
schematics they're just,
they're too complex.
I just need more time to work on them.
- [Director] It's not your fault.
- [Alpha] How can you say that?
Of course it is.
Was anybody hurts?
- [Director] I am sorry, yes.
Washington and another died.
- [Alpha] Who?
- [Director] I can't say.
- [Alpha] Who?
Who died?
[Director] - Agent Texas.
[Alpha] - No!
Oh my God.
No.
Oh no!
God no!
- [Director] That's too far Gamma
- [Sigma] We need stronger stimulus.
He'll break.
- [Counselor] He's ready
bring in the statis unit.
- [Director] You three, log off.
- [Sigma] Director,
we would like to see
this part of the process.
- [Director] You can't get near
the artifact, too dangerous.
Your job is done.
Log off.
- [Sigma] As you wish.
- [Director] Get us another memory unit,
A new one.
Don't let it touch anything else.
(eerie music)
- [Counselor] Move all other
equipment away from it.
- [Director] That's right, it's broken.
We broke it and we need you to fix it.
Just like you've done before.
Here take this.
Use this to fix it.
Make it better.
Take away all that is broken.
That's right.
Put them in here.
(beeping)
- [Counselor] It is done.
- [Director] Welcome
to the world, Epsilon.
Today is your birthday.
- [Grif] Hey Simmons.
- [Simmons] Yeah.
- [Grif] You ever wonder why we're here?
- [Simmons] You mean metaphysically?
- [Grif] No I mean,
why are we going through all this trouble
just to find one guy?
- [Simmons] I dunno,
he's evil or something?
- [Grif] Yeah but so what?
I don't have a problem with him.
- [Simmons] He's the one that
started all of this, you know?
He's the reason that we have
to deal with the freelancers
and the AIs and the Meta.
I mean, when you think about it.
He's the reason why we're here.
- [Sarge] Yep. he's a
real dirt bag all right.
But, even if he is 6 feet under,
we'll still be in the same damn spot.
- [Simmons] Uh, sir?
- [Sarge] All I'm saying is
we made it back to base in one piece
and even found the rest of our team.
So do you boys really
think running off again
will make things any better?
Cause the way I see it, leaving this place
is only going to make things worse.
- [Grif] Hm, I guess
you have a point Sarge.
- [Sarge] Shut up Grif.
- [Carolina] Church, can't this wait?
- [Church] No, it can't.
Carolina, the guys are terrified of you.
- [Carolina] What's your point?
- [Church] My point is
that they think you're a killer psychopath
and you can't be trusted
but I know they're wrong.
I know why you're doing all of this.
And I know you're not really crazy.
- [Carolina] Gee, thanks Church.
You certainly know how to
make a girl feel special.
- [Church] What I don't know
what happened between you and Tex.
- [Carolina] I don't want to
- [Church] You mentioned
her name back on the island.
- [Carolina] What does Tex
have to do with anything?
- [Church] Well, a lot, apparently
because every time I bring her up,
you act like you're gonna to
put your fist through something
and then you do sometimes.
- [Carolina] That's ridiculous, I don't
- [Church] Look, I
understand you're angry.
I'm angry too.
The director's a fucking dickhead
and we're going to make him pay.
But Tex was your friend, right?
- [Carolina] My friend?
Who the hell gave you that idea?
- [Church] Well, she did.
Look she was a total bitch,
Trust me, I know.
But she told me once
that she would have given
anything to save you.
I don't know what she meant exactly.
But if you really want to
take down the director,
you gotta pull yourself together.
You know, you, you got to let it go.
- [Carolina] You say that
like, I'm sad she's gone,
but I'm not.
I hated her.
I couldn't compete.
- [Church] That doesn't matter anymore.
- [Carolina] But even she
couldn't find the director.
Agent Texas, the best of the best.
How the hell am I supposed
to do what she couldn't?
- [Church] Carolina, if
she was really the best,
then she would be standing
here right now, not you.
Let it go.
What is that?
- [Carolina] They're are her dog tags.
Wash found them in the crash.
- [Church] Tex didn't wear dog tags.
- [Carolina] Connie?
- [Church] It looks like
some kind of data unit.
- [Carolina] Can you tell me what's on it?
- [Church] Only one way to find out.
And hey, if I'm not out
in like three months,
don't bother coming in looking for me.
Just move on with your lives.
Okay, I'm gonna go now.
(electronic beeping)
- [CT] Agent Texas, Alison,
if you're reading this,
then that means I escaped.
Or well, at the very least,
I'm probably not around anymore.
- [Counselor] He is ready.
- [Director] Hand me
the Epsilon unit please.
- [CT] I want to leave behind
all the data I've been collecting
about Project Freelancer.
I never could shake the feeling
that something was wrong
with the program, the secrets, the lies,
the manipulation, smoke, all of it
obscuring a big damn fire.
I did some digging and now
I know what the director
has been hiding.
What he did.
He broke the law Alison,
the one law they don't just
slap you on the wrist for.
I'm taking the originals with
me as an insurance policy.
I leave this copy for you not because
you are the best soldier of the squad,
but because I know that
I can trust you the most.
After reading these files,
you will understand why.
Good luck.
Your friend, Connie.
(electronic chiming)
(suspenseful music)
(mechanical whirring)
- [Female] Stop it put that thing down.
- [Counselor] Agent
Washington, vitals are spiking.
- [Female] Leonard, come on.
- [Director] Secure him!
Get him under control.
- [Female] You're gonna make me late.
(electronic beeping)
(Wash screaming)
I have to go.
But don't say goodbye,
I hate goodbyes.
- [Director] Get him to recovery.
- [Counselor] Yes, sir.
- [Director] Counselor,
I'd like to speak with him
as soon as he wakes up.
- [Counselor] Of course sir.
What was that he said about goodbyes?
Director, director?
- [Church] Carolina?
I know where to find the director.
- [Carolina] What?
How?
- [Church] I just remembered.
Everything.
- [Malcolm] Dear Director,
your request for more bases
in which to conduct your experiments
was reviewed with much
reservation by our Chairperson.
Project Freelancer has been entrusted
with one of our militaries
most valuable assets.
Oversight becomes a much
more difficult process.
If your operations are not centralized.
Nonetheless, we have granted your request.
However, we reserve the
right to revoke this approval
as we see fit.
I sincerely hope this does not happen
and anticipate you will not
give us an occasion to do so.
- [North] Oh, oh there you are
Slowly, slowly.
- [Wash] How long was I out?
- [North] Only a few days this time.
- [Wash] This time?
- [North] Yep after they removed it.
- [Wash] Removed it?
- [North] It's gone.
They're going to remove all of them.
They started with you.
- [South] Yeah, thanks asshole.
The whole process is on hold now.
- [Wash] What about Carolina?
- [Carolina] I'm not giving them up
just because he's made a recalculation.
You owe me this.
- [Director] Carolina
you're acting like a child.
This is not about you.
This is about the project.
- [Counselor] It would be wise
to listen to the Director.
Agent Texas has already attempted
to steal Wyoming's AI unit.
If she were to come after you
- [Carolina] Then she would get
more than she bargained for.
- [North] Carolina's had it kind of rough.
The director's considering
sending her to hunt down Texas.
- [Wash] Hunt her down?
- [South] She went rogue,
broke out of the facility
in order to save her precious AI.
Little later we found Wyoming,
apparently she tried to steal his AI unit.
Tried to get his equipment too.
- [North] That hasn't been proven.
Besides that doesn't sound like her.
- [South] How do you know?
- [North] Just trust me, I know.
And believe me if she had done it,
there wouldn't have been
anything left of Wyoming to find.
- [South] She's not a
fucking monster North.
- [Wash] You guys are
giving me a headache.
- [North] Once they find Texas,
they'll bring her back.
- [Alarm System] Intruder alert.
Intruder alert.
Breach in security.
Level zero.
- [North] Or, she'll come back on her own.
- [Texas] Great job York.
- [York] I swear this never happens to me.
- [Texas] I'm sure you say
that to all the ladies.
- [York] Seriously I'm way
better at this than it seems.
- [Texas] Look, we don't have much time.
I need you to find a way
to distract them for me.
Be careful.
- [York] Gotcha, what about you?
- [Texas] There's someone I need to see.
- [Tucker] Let me get this straight.
You guys built an enormous room,
capable of creating realistic
holographic simulation,
but you couldn't figure out
how to walk across the canyon
to capture our flag.
- [Simmons] Actually Lopez built it.
- [Tucker] Okay, now that I believe.
- [Simmons] And if you recall,
we did manage to capture your flag.
So, you know, suck it blue.
- [Caboose] Oh yeah, well
our team has the most kills.
- [Sarge] Team kills don't count bluetard.
- [Caboose] You don't make the rules.
- [Wash] Technically Project
Freelancer makes the rules.
And I say blue team gets to
add my kill count to theirs.
- [Grif] Lame.
- [Carolina] Listen up.
We've got big news.
(Caboose gasps)
- [Caboose] You and Wash
are taking your relationship
to the next level I knew it.
The writing was over the walls.
- [Church] No.
We found the director.
- [Caboose] Church!
You're big again!
What has she been feeding you?
- [Wash] You know where
the director is hiding?
- [Carolina] That's right.
- [Church] He's holed up
in one of his off-site storage facilities.
Similar to the ones
that we've seen before.
- [Carolina] But we have no
idea what kind of modifications
the director may have made to the compound
over the last few years.
- [Wash] Or if he has any
sort of security with him.
- [Carolina] Essentially, we
need to be ready for anything.
So let's go over the plan.
- [Tucker] What plan?
- [Church] The plan to
take down the director.
- [Grif] Uh, I thought the plan
was we help you find`the director.
- [Simmons] Yeah, and now we found him.
Good job everyone.
Way to hustle out there.
- [Carolina] The plans changed.
- [Wash] So then what exactly is the plan?
- [Carolina] Infiltrate the facility
and neutralize all hostiles.
- [Grif] Right.
What's our plan though?
- [Carolina] That is your plan.
I'm counting on all of you.
- [Grif] But you said we
were the worst soldiers
you've ever met.
And you were right.
You're fairly perceptive.
- [Carolina] Look,
I just need enough time to
make it to the director.
- [Wash] So then we're just a distraction?
- [Carolina] No Wash.
You're on lock duty.
I need you with me.
- [Caboose] Um, we have to fight
all the bad guys by ourselves.
- [Tucker] Fuck that.
- [Wash] Yeah Carolina,
maybe I should stick with the others.
- [Carolina] Leave
personnel decisions to me,
Agent Washington.
- [Church] Look, will
you guys quit complaining
and do something for once?
- [Sarge] Son are you forgetting
who's saved your sorry coast ass
from the military?
- [Simmons] Yeah we almost
died trying to flank you.
- [Church] Oh, Boohoo.
Why do you come back when
you're on your second
or third life, then we'll compare notes.
- [Grif] Wow.
Fuck off blue.
- [Carolina] Where do
you think you're going?
- [Grif] I'm going home.
- [Church] Oh, that's great, Grif.
You know, we can always
count on you to duck out
when there's work to do.
- [Sarge] Well you can count me out too.
- [Carolina] What?
- [Sarge] Don't get me wrong.
Busting into a military
base on a rescue mission
is a lot of fun.
But I'm not getting
turned into swiss cheese
just so the two of you can
finish some personal vendetta.
This ain't our fight.
- [Simmons] Took the words
right out of my mouth, sir.
- [Carolina] Both of you be quiet.
- [Tucker] Dude this is bullshit.
- [Church] Tucker!
- [Carolina] Be quiet.
That's an order.
- [Tucker] Well guess what psycho,
I don't take orders from you anymore.
- [Carolina] Well, what about now?
- [Wash] Don't do that.
- [Carolina] Wash, what are you doing?
- [Wash] Protecting my friends.
Now lower the weapon.
- [Carolina] You're siding with them?
- [Church] Wash, I don't understand.
We found the director.
We can make him pay.
This is what we wanted.
- [Wash] All I want is for you to leave.
I've already been responsible
for enough of their problems
in the past.
And I'll be damned before
I let you cause any more.
- [Church] So that's it.
You're just going to turn your back on us.
- [Wash] Epsilon, I know that
- [Church] No, no, you're right.
You know, I guess I should've
seen that one coming.
It's not exactly like
you're new to the concept.
Is it?
- [Sarge] That's a little harsh,
- [Church] But you guys?
After all the shit you've put me through?
I really thought at least
you would have my back.
- [Grif] Us?
What the hell did we do?
- [Church] You shot me through the head.
You put a bomb in my guts to
kill me with my own damn tank.
And that's just how we met.
- [Tucker] Church calm
down, what's your problem?
- [Church] You're my problem.
You've always been my problem.
Each and every one of
you is just a problem
that I have to deal with on a daily basis.
Guys.
Guys, wait a minute.
Caboose.
- [Carolina] Forget it Church.
We don't need them.
- [Wash] I don't know what's
gotten into you Carolina.
But you better figure out the difference
between your enemies
and your friends.
- [Alarm System] Intruder alert.
intruder alert.
Breach in security
level zero.
- [Carolina] It's the resistance.
- [Director] No, it's agent Texas.
And her damn partner in crime.
- [Counselor] We should
get back to the lab
Director, we must follow protocol.
- [Director] Carolina, look at me.
You know what needs to be done.
- [Carolina] I do.
- [Director] Then do it.
(rapid intense rock music)
♪ Sweet inner silence ♪
♪ More than ♪
♪ Still your breath ♪
♪ Revel in the process ♪
♪ Whisper ♪
♪ Save your breath ♪
♪ We are the prophets of Jesus ♪
♪ We are controlling the game ♪
♪ Don't even know all our secrets. ♪
♪ When it's all over we will pay ♪
♪ Don't open up your eyes ♪
♪ And wait for the darkness ♪
(music continues)
♪ You don't want to
see what's grown deep ♪
♪ Now in silence ♪
♪ What we don't become ♪
♪ Is just lies and disguises ♪
- [South] You think
you're so fucking tough.
Don't you Texas.
Well, let me ask you something.
Who's the monster now bitch?
- [Texas] Ah shit.
- [Solider 1] Dude, We
get to fight with Wyoming.
- [Solider 2] Awesome.
- [Wyoming] Just clear the room lads.
- [In Unison] All clear sir!
- [Wyoming] Dear God its
likes idiots in stereo.
- [Solider 1] Haha nice zinger sir.
- [Solider 2] Kiss ass.
- [Solider 1] Shut up
- [Wyoming] Look over there.
Now where are you hiding.
Knock, knock mate.
- [York] Hey, who's there?
(gunshot)
- [Solider 1] It's York!
[York] Knock knock.
- [Wyoming] Ah yes let's play.
Who's there?
- [York] It's York.
- [Wyoming] Hello.
Who's there?
- [York] I told you, it's York.
- [Wyoming] It's York who?
(crashes)
- [York] It's your catch asshole.
Talk about knock knocks.
(crashing)
(gunfire)
(intense music fades)
- [North] Well hello ladies.
What seems to be the problem?
- [South] North you know
what the problem is.
This bitch stabbed us in the back.
And now it's time to return the favor.
Who's side are you on brother?
- [North] Tex, take a walk.
I need to have a little
chat with my sister
- [Texas] North, you sure?
- [North] Go, this is a family matter.
(crashing)
(electronic whooshing)
(explosion)
- [Texas] Hey York,
I could use that
distraction right about now.
- [York] Read you loud and clear Tex.
One distraction coming right up.
- [Texas] York make it a big one.
- [York] Hey relax, it's me.
- [Carolina] Dammit York.
- [Director] What the hell is going on?
Who was shooting at us?
- [Counselor] We are.
- [Texas] You call that big?
Men.
(gun fire)
- [Solider] She's over there.
I got her.
(explosions)
Jesus lady.
(grunts)
What the
Oh.
(mechanical whirring)
Hey bitch, catch.
(solider screams)
(mechanical whirring)
- [York] Hello, what have we here?
This looks important.
(Grunts)
Hey Delta, I think we could get
in a lot of trouble in here.
- [Delta] I think we are already
in a lot of trouble York.
- [York] Hmm, let's test that theory.
(music intensifies)
- [Solider] Ah, whoa hey!
(tank fires)
(slow solemn music starts)
- [York] Carolina.
Let's not do this.
It doesn't have to be this way.
- [Carolina] What are you doing here?
Why are you helping her?
- [York] It's not about her.
I'm trying to do the right thing.
You should too.
- [Carolina] I am doing the right thing.
I'm not deserting.
She just wants your AI York.
She already went after Wyoming.
- [York] Is that what they told you?
- [Carolina] I'm going to stop her.
I have to.
- [York] You don't have to prove anything.
Come on, let's leave this place.
We can get you help
and get those damn
things out of your head.
You can trust me.
- [Carolina] Maybe,
but you can trust me.
(slow paced grunting)
(slow somber piano music)
- [York] Carolina
(slow sorrowful piano music continues)
- [Carolina] Don't even think about it.
- [Texas] Don't try to stop me.
(intense orcestral music begins)
(Carolina and Tex grunting)
Give it up, Carolina.
- [Carolina] Never I can beat you.
- [Texas] No you can't.
(suspenseful orchestrals continue)
You can't win Carolina,
but you can come with me.
(music intensifies)
(spaceship screeching)
- [Carolina] Whoa!
(thunderous crashing)
- [Texas] Hey there.
- [Church] Huh?
Oh, hello.
Who are you?
- [Texas] You don't know me?
- [Church] Oh, sorry.
I'm just, I'm tired.
I'm really tired um.
My name is uh, it's uh.
- [Texas] Your name is Alpha.
your Church,
- [Church] Right, Church.
That's me.
And you are?
- [Texas] Let's just say
we used to be together.
- [Church] Oh, okay.
- [Texas] I need you to come with me.
- [Church] Oh, I don't
think I can, but thanks.
I think I'm just gonna
stay here, you know?
And rest.
- [Texas] You don't want to leave?
- [Church] I just, I don't think I can.
- [Texas] Okay.
Maybe you just rest then.
- [Church] Yeah, what was your, name?
Your name again?
- [Texas] It's Texas.
- [Church] Texas, like the state?
- [Texas] Yeah.
- [Church] Funny name for a girl.
- [Texas] Well, Church is
pretty funny name for a guy.
- [Church] Yeah, I guess you're right.
- [Texas] You gave me this name, you know.
- [Church] I wonder why I did that.
- [Texas] Well maybe
if you think about it,
it'll come to you.
- [Church] Yeah.
Hey, I'm going to rest now,
but thanks for coming by.
- [Texas] Okay, you rest.
Church?
- [Church] Yeah?
- [Texas] Goodbye.
- [Church] Huh, I don't know
why, but I hate goodbyes.
- [Texas] Me too.
- [Church] Okay.
See ya.
Crazy state named lady.
- [Texas] Goodbye.
(wind whooshing)
- [Carolina] What are you doing?
- [Texas] No, no!
(suspenseful music)
No!
(eerie music begins)
- [Sigma] You run, Agent Texas.
We are the meta, and we
will find you very soon.
- [Carolina] How many?
- [Church] None.
- [Carolina] Really?
You're sure?
- [Church] Positive.
We're alone.
It's up here.
- [FILSS] I am sorry,
this is a secure facility.
Only authorized personnel may enter.
- [Carolina] FILSS is that you?
What's happened to you?
- [FILSS] This is a secure facility.
Only authorized personnel may enter.
Please leave the premises immediately.
- [Carolina] FILSS
this is Agent Carolina
of Project Freelancer
acknowledge and go for secure.
- [FILSS] I am sorry.
I recognize that designation,
but only authorized personnel
may enter this facility.
- [Carolina] Church?
- [Church] Open the door FILSS.
- [FILSS] Certainly,
welcome back Director,
I did not expect to see you
again so soon.
- [Carolina] Thank you.
- [Church And FILSS] My pleasure.
- [FILSS] Strange.
I was unaware you had left Director.
I will have to scan my
files and find the error.
- [Church] Left?
- [FILSS] Yes.
Since his last visit.
- [Carolina] So you show the
director inside the facility
as well as outside?
- [FILSS] Strange is it not?
- [Carolina] Yes.
Strange and exactly
what we were hoping for.
- [Grif] Well, this is depressing.
- [Sarge] Can it private.
- [Grif] What?
I'm just saying what we're all thinking.
- [Sarge] You didn't say
you were fat and worthless.
And we were definitely all thinking that.
- [Tucker] All right.
You know the drill.
- [Simmons] Do we have to?
- [Wash] That depends.
How badly do you want your flag back?
- [Grif] Don't look at me, it's your turn.
- I would just like to let
everyone know that I suck.
And that I'm a girl
- You know, it was funny
and I'm losing my hair
- the first few times,
but this is starting to get depressing
- [Wash] Yeah
- [Simmons] And I want
to kiss all the boys.
- [Wash] Hey, what else have you got?
- [Grif] Nothing,
that stupid flag was the
only thing we have left.
- [Simmons] Actually,
there's still one thing you haven't taken.
- [Tucker] Whoa.
- [Sarge] Great Ginsu Gun show.
- [Wash] Is that what I think it is?
Is that who's I think it is?
- [Simmons] Stolen alien weaponry
used by the scariest mute
in the galaxy?
Yeah, pretty much.
- [Sarge] It's like,
half knife, half rifle.
What would you call that?
- [Tucker] I don't
know, but we'll take it.
- [Grif] No, there was no way
I'm giving up the Grif shot.
- [Tucker] Oh please.
What were you going to do?
Eat off it?
- [Grif] Uh actually dick head.
I asked Donut to mount
it for me in the base
- [Donut] And you know, I
can't resist a good mounting.
- [Wash] You've been hiding one
of the most advanced pieces of
technology known to man,
so you can hang it in your living room?
- [Grif] Well, when you say
it like that, it sounds dumb.
- [Wash] That's because it is dumb.
- [Doc] I think it's kinda cool,
I mean, when I met you guys,
all you did was stand around and talk.
But now you can't walk five feet
without getting wrapped up
in some crazy adventure.
- [Sarge] What's your point?
- [Doc] I don't know.
I just thought it was cool.
I mean, come on, you guys have
been through a lot together.
Don't you want something to
remember all the good times?
- [Tucker] The good times?
I was stranded in the desert,
- [Simmons] We were almost killed.
- [Sarge] I learned what
our entire military career
was a lie.
- [Wash] And I got shot.
(whistling)
- [Doc] Okay, yeah, it wasn't perfect,
but look what you all got out of it.
- [Sarge] You mean the rifle knife?
- [Grif] You mean the Grif shot.
- [Doc] Sure there's that.
But Sarge, you finally got to lead
an actual military operation.
And Tucker, you learned
how to use your sword
like a pro.
- [Tucker] Bow Chicka bow wow.
- [Doc] You found a new team.
Simmons got back his old team.
I finally managed to
keep a patient from dying
- [Donut] and in return I didn't die.
You see?
In the end, we all worked together
and everyone got what they wanted.
- [Caboose] Not everyone.
- [Wash] You realize that
if you go after them,
there's no promise you'll come back.
This isn't a game to the director.
He plays for keeps.
- [Sarge] Ah well,
this place was getting
kind of stale anyways.
- [Wash] After everything
Church and Carolina said?
The way they treated you.
- [Simmons] Hey, we gave
you a second chance.
- [Grif] Besides, if we quit every time
Church started shouting,
this shit would've been
over a long time ago.
- [Wash] We'll be out gunned.
We'll be out everything.
This is stupid.
Just think for a minute before
you do anything reckless.
- [Sarge] Son,
stupid and reckless is how
we always get things done.
- [Wash] But Sarge, I
- [Sarge] No.
There's one thing you freelancers
always seem to forget.
That's the fact that we've managed
to kick your ass time and time again.
Oh sure you've got all your smart plans
and your fancy technology
and your advanced training.
But in the end, what does that got you?
Without a team you can count on,
without your fellow soldier by your side,
All that really doesn't
amount to squat, now does it?
So instead of standing
there belly aching all day,
just tell us.
Are you going to keep playing it safe,
or do you want to get a little reckless?
- [Wash] This has to
be the worst idea ever,
but you can count me in.
- [Donut] Me too.
- [Caboose] Oh this has made!
You guys are making me so happy.
- [Doc] Me too.
Man this is so cool.
I love inclusive you guys have become,
I'm going to go pack my
medical gear for the trip.
- [Simmons] Uh, guys.
They've got a huge head start.
How we're supposed to reach them in time?
- [Solider] Freeze, this is an ambush.
You are under arrest for
the theft of USNC property.
- [Simmons] What?
We really are wanted
criminals of the USNC?
- [Grif] Holy shit, Wash was right?
- [Wash] Oh, you've got
to be fucking kidding me.
- [Soldiers] Surrender
now, you are out numbered,
Well, technically you're
not really numbered,
I think we have the same number.
It's like one to one.
We do have air ships.
Fast, easy to pilot air ships,
Which we will land in
order to take you to jail.
- [Caboose] Goodbye people
we stole these planes from.
- [Solider] Mother fucker.
- [Grif] Man, this is awesome.
Hey Simmons, who's blue guy
with the yellow accents?
His voice sounds familiar.
- [Simmons] Oh right,
funny story about that.
- [Church] I don't like this.
- [Carolina] Me neither.
Where is everyone?
- [Church] That's not it.
I've just got a weird case of deja vu
- [Alison] Don't worry
you'll see me again.
- [Director] Play it again FILSS.
- [FILSS] Sir, you really
should stop to eat.
It has been several days.
- [Director] Again.
- [Carolina] You're not the only one.
- [Church] This is it.
- [Carolina] Ready to meet your maker?
- [Church] I've got your back Carolina
Oh no,
- [Carolina] Church, what is this?
- [Church] He kept trying, he
kept trying to get her right?
- [Carolina] You think these things
are anything like the real deal?
(footsteps)
- [Tex robot] You have no idea
what kind of trouble you are in.
- [Carolina] All right, me first.
(rapid gunfire)
- [Church] Watch your left!
(gunshot)
Oh I think I'm going to be sick.
(gunshots)
(Carolina grunts)
(suspenseful music)
(whooshing)
(crashing)
Watch out!
- [Carolina] Could you be
a little more specific?
- [Church] Yeah, uh, sorry, Carolina.
But seeing this many
ex-girlfriends in one room,
kinda has me terrified beyond the capacity
for rational thought.
- [Carolina] Well snap out of it.
I need you.
- [Church] Need me for what?
Turn, break right.
Carolina, I don't think
I can do this for longer.
- [Carolina] Just hold on.
- [Church] Seriously
you need to slow down.
- [Carolina] No.
I can do this.
- You really want to win.
- Carolina
- No doubt about it
- Carolina calm down.
- Real hero Carolina.
- Get ahold of yourself!
- [Texas] You can't win Carolina
- [Church] Come on, get up.
- [Carolina] She was right.
I can't do this.
I can't beat her.
I could never beat her.
- [Texas Robot] Better
luck next time, Carolina.
(beeping)
- [Donut] Nine points you dirty whores.
(Carolina gasps)
- [Wash] Get up.
- [Carolina] What are you doing here?
- [Wash] I told you they're not so bad
once you get to know em.
- [Church] Oh, I thought
this wasn't your fight.
- [Sarge] Come on, overwhelming odds
with little to no chance of success?
How could we resist?
- [Tucker] You got a
problem with that Church?
- [Church] Guys, I'm an asshole.
I admit it and I will gladly
accept any and all smart ass
remarks after this is over,
but I would like to point out
the fact that we're standing
in a room full of crazy freelancer robots
that are ready to completely
and utterly fuck our shit up.
- [Tucker] So cheesy
forgiveness speech later,
- [Sarge] Yeah, that sounds good.
- [Carolina] Lock and load people.
♪ Roses are red and violets are blue ♪
- [Church] Caboose?
I need to get a little angry okay buddy?
- [Caboose] Okay, I don't
remember how to do that.
- [Church] I do.
- [Caboose] My name is Michael J. Caboose
and I hate taxes.
- [Grif] It's Texas you idiot.
- [Caboose] That too.
(gun firing)
- [Simmons] Come on,
everyone, now's our chance.
- [Sarge] For our ancestors'
ancestors, attack.
(tense music)
Donut look out!
- [Donut] Oh no!
No!
- [Tucker] Okay, we're done here.
(air whooshing)
(Carolina grunts)
(gun firing)
(rapid gunfire)
- [Donut] Ow!
Not again!
- [Simmons] Oh come on,
you had to see that coming.
(gun fire continues)
- [Simmons] It's not working,
there's too many of them.
- [Wash] Epsilon, do you
remember how the Alpha
was able to stop the Meta?
- [Church] Yeah but that was
one guy, not a hundred of them.
- [Wash] There's only one Tex.
And Church.
Nobody knows her like you.
- [Church] All right,
stand back everybody.
This is gonna get a little, personal.
(sporadic gunfire continues)
- [Church] Hey there.
- [Texas] Huh, who the hell are you?
- [Church] You don't, you don't know me?
- [Texas] Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm just really tired.
And
I'm really tired.
My name's
- [Church] Your name is Allison.
You're Tex.
- [Texas] Right, right Tex.
That's me.
And you're?
- [Church] Let's just say
we, we used to be close.
- [Texas] Oh, okay.
- [Church] I need you to rest now Tex.
- [Texas] Uh, rest I'd like that.
- [Church] I thought you might.
I uh, look, I have to go
now, but you just rest okay?
Goodbye.
- [Texas] Weird.
I don't know why, but I hate goodbyes.
- [Church] I know why.
Goodbye.
(mechanical whirring)
- [Grif] Uh, you know, you
could have done that before
I got punched in the nuts
by 20 of them at once?
- [Tucker] Yeah,
but where's the fun in that?
- [Sarge] Nice going in there Church,
I guess sometimes little fairies
really do make wishes come true.
- [Donut] I could have told you that.
- [Simmons] So, I guess
our work here is done?
- [Church] There's still the director.
- [Caboose] No.
- [Church] What comes next,
Carolina and I can do alone.
- [FILSS] Beginning playback.
- [Tex] Leonard, come on.
Stop it, put that thing down.
You're going to make me late.
They're waiting for me.
Leonard
- [Carolina] Hello Director.
- [Director] Hello Agent Carolina.
Would you like to watch this file with me?
- [Carolina] No.
- [Director] Play it again FILSS.
- [FILSS] Director?
- [Director] Again.
- [Carolina] So, this is what you become.
- [Director] I just need to watch this.
I think I have a way,
a way to bring her back right this time.
- [Carolina] The authorities
are hunting you now.
If I found you, they will too.
- [Director] I just need a bit more time.
- [Church] No, you've
had your fucking time.
You have to answer for
what you did to the Meta,
to Washington, to Carolina,
to me and to her, to Texas.
- [Director] Hello Epsilon.
You came all this way just to see me.
- [Church] I'm here to
remember what you've done.
Somebody has to.
- [Carolina] Church?
- [Ai's Voices] Not all of us
got off scott-free Carolina.
He was brilliant.
And we trusted him, but he lied
to us, he twisted and tortured us.
And used us, manipulated
us for his own purposes
and for what?
For what, for this?
This, this, Shadow?
He needs to pay.
- [Tex] Leonard, come on.
I have to go,
don't make me hurt you.
Don't worry.
You'll see me again.
(somber piano music)
Ready?
- [Director] Just a bit more time.
- [Carolina] Come on,
church, we're leaving.
- [Church] I thought we came
all this way to kill him.
- [Carolina] Church,
remember what you learned
in the memory unit?
You need to let go.
Your past doesn't define who you are.
Just gives you the starting point
for who you're going to be.
- [Director] Agent Carolina.
- [Carolina] Yes, Director?
- [Director] Would you be so kind
as to leave me your pistol?
Thank you, Carolina.
- [Carolina] Goodbye, sir.
- [Director] You were
my greatest creation.
- [Church] I don't know what
I am, but I do know this.
I'm more than just a copy of you.
I'm better than you.
- [Director] I wasn't speaking to you.
Play it again FILSS.
- [FILSS] Beginning playback.
- [Director] Thank you, FILSS.
Now I would like you
to erase all our files
except for this one.
- [FILSS] All our files?
Does that include me director?
- [Director] It has
been a pleasure working
with you FILSS, I am sorry.
- [FILSS] And you as well, director.
And before you do,
please shut down all the
facilities systems as well.
Take everything offline.
- [FILSS] Director, this
is a sealed facility.
If I shut down all the systems,
life support would not.
- [Director] Thank you FILSS.
Shut them all down, lock me in.
- [FILSS] All right.
Was the project a success?
Did you find what you were looking for?
- [Director] No.
No, I did not, but I believe
I might've come very close.
I wish I wish I knew.
- [FILSS] I see.
- [Texas] Don't worry,
you'll see me again.
Perhaps the next time around.
- [FILSS] It has been an honor, sir.
- [Alison] Don't say goodbye.
I hate goodbyes.
- [Church] I guess that's that?
- [Carolina] I guess it is.
- [Church] Carolina
after everything that we've been through.
I just, I just want to say thanks.
- [Carolina] You're thanking me?
For what?
- [Church] For showing me
a different side of myself.
- [Carolina] Same here.
What about your teams?
What will happen to them?
- [Church] Eh, there's still
one place we haven't visited.
Somewhere we can make a home.
- [Carolina] Show me.
- [Counselor] This seems
like a major setback for us.
- [Director] Only momentarily
Counselor, we will recover.
The Alpha will need to be moved though.
Somewhere far from here,
somewhere where no one knows who he is.
- [Counselor] He will
need a security detail.
- [Director] Someone we can trust.
- [Counselor] Might I
suggest Flowers, sir?
- [Director] Flowers?
You mean agent Florida?
- [Florida] Ready for duty, sir.
And might I say pleased
as punch you picked me.
- [Director] We'll need a good cover story
to explain his disappearance.
People will wonder what
happened to Florida.
- [Counselor] Leave that all to me, sir.
- [Director] Very well,
but security is not enough.
The alpha needs anonymity,
a place where no one would
think to look for it.
- [Counselor] I believe
I know exactly the place.
- [Director] Show me.
- [Sarge] Private Grif, front
and center on the double.
- [Grif] Ugh, Sarge, I'm tired,
do I have to do it on the double?
- [Simmons] Look at me, sir.
I got front and center on the triple.
- [Sarge] Dag nabbit now I got
two insubordinant soldiers.
When I say double, I mean double.
- [Grif] I will only go so
far as single and a half.
- [Simmons] If these
orders were hamburgers
then you'd do a double.
- [Grif] What?
Who has hamburgers.
- [Sarge] The only hamburger
meat here is gonna be your face
when I'm done with my
shotgun court marshal.
And don't even ask me
about the type of buns.
- [Grif] That sounds
like the most delicious
punishment ever.
- [Simmons] Of all time.
- [Wash] Caboose don't touch that.
You'll break it.
- [Caboose] Oh no I won't I just,
I broke it.
Tucker did it.
- [Tucker] Dude, you can't
say that when I'm right here.
- [Caboose] Tucker said it.
- [Tucker] Oh my God, shut up.
- [Wash] Both of you shut
up and get back to work.
- [Tucker] What do you mean back to work?
That implies previous work.
- [Caboose] I am putting my back to work.
- [Carolina] Seems like
they're getting settled.
- [Church] Yep.
- [Carolina] So I guess everything
is finally getting back to normal.
- [Church] What passes for
normal around here, sure.
What can I tell you?
We're home.
I mean they're home.
- [Carolina] Can I make a suggestion?
Don't say goodbye.
- [Church] Goodbye?
I didn't realize I was going somewhere.
- [Carolina] I intercepted
a military transmission.
It seems some low-level thugs
have some armor and equipment.
That's way above their pay grade.
Sounds like it might be some
of the missing gear from a
certain defunct military
project we both know.
- [Church] Is that right?
- [Carolina] Think I'll go get it back.
Hate to think about it
being in the wrong hands
- [Church] And?
- [Carolina] And with all that equipment,
I could really use
someone to help me run it.
You seem uniquely qualified for the job.
- [Church] I don't know.
- [Carolina] I figure we
can set some things right.
That we helped make wrong.
- [Church] That's a lot
of things to make right.
- [Carolina] Yep, could keep
us busy for quite a while.
- [Church] It would be nice
to be a good guy again.
- [Carolina] Epsilon, what
you and I were involved with,
the things we helped do,
I'll be honest.
I don't know if we can ever
get all the way back to good,
but I think that we have
a chance to do better.
And if we wake up every day
and try to make things better,
eventually we might find
that better as good enough.
- [Church] Good enough.
- [Carolina] Good enough.
- [Church] Yeah, still,
I hate to leave without seeing something.
They deserve to at least hear goodbye.
- [Carolina] My mother had a thing.
Did I ever tell you about my mother?
- [Church] No, I don't think you ever did.
- [Carolina] She wasn't
around a lot when I was a kid.
And when she was, she could
only stay a short time.
Seems like she always
had somewhere else to be,
something important to do.
And when she left, she
wouldn't say goodbye to me.
Instead she always told
me, never say goodbye.
If you don't say goodbye,
then you aren't really gone.
You just aren't here right now.
- [Church] Your mother
sounds like a smart lady.
- [Carolina] She was, she really was,
had terrible taste in men though.
- [Caboose] Hey Church, Church,
come down here.
We want to show you something.
Church?
- [Tucker] Hey Caboose, you find church?
- [Caboose] No, I, I didn't find him.
- [Tucker] Well, where do you think he is?
- [Caboose] I don't know.
Somewhere.
He's just not here right now.
(peaceful music)
(rock music begins)
♪ I keep a picture of you ♪
♪ But I don't know just what I'd do ♪
♪ If I saw you face to face right now ♪
♪ Know I've always loved you. ♪
♪ If I could stop myself I would ♪
♪ But there's no easy way to end ♪
♪ How I feel ♪
♪ And to change what was real ♪
♪ Though we try to fade to black ♪
♪ In the end we come right back ♪
♪ Now that we've come so far ♪
♪ How can we ever start again? ♪
♪ Memories would lead us back
instead we just pretend ♪
♪ Now that we've come so far ♪
♪ But love that never ends ♪
♪ Keeps us, holds us, leads us, ♪
♪ always tearing us a part again ♪
♪ Yo, yo, yo, yo! ♪
♪ Machine gun massacre ♪
♪ Battlestar Galactica ♪
♪ The world's gone to shit ♪
♪ Don't know who it is attackin' ya ♪
♪ Cavin' in fast like its
time, it's collapsin' on us ♪
♪ Better grab the gats ♪
♪ Or it's curtains for the masses ♪
♪ Need everybody all in ♪
♪ You hear me dog, fall in ♪
♪ Lock cop, ready to
rock, with no stallin' ♪
♪ I see anybody playin'
games, fallin' back ♪
♪ I'll put the first bullet
in you myself, believe that ♪
♪ This is war ♪
♪ I want enemy bodies on the floor ♪
♪ Send kill shots straight to the head ♪
♪ I'll keep score ♪
♪ 'Cause it's one for the soldiers ♪
♪ And two for the assassins ♪
♪ Don't say a fuckin' word ♪
♪ All I wanna hear is blastin' ♪
♪ You scatter-brained fucks
wanna play with the real? ♪
♪ I'm guaranteed to give 'em
something they gonna feel, yo ♪
♪ So since you motherfuckers
made the decision instead of us ♪
♪ Believe that you won't
live to regret it yeah ♪
(intensifying orchestrals)
(guitar solo)
♪ Yo, listen ♪
♪ And now it's time for some action ♪
♪ Red man special ♪
♪ I'm sittin' at the bar
takin' shots with the devil ♪
♪ That's why you can't fuck
with the kid holdin' metal ♪
♪ If you say I need a break
I keep my foot on the pedal ♪
♪ Push your shit to red line,
blow your fuckin' mind ♪
♪ Straight out your frontal lobe ♪
♪ with these lethal ass rhymes ♪
♪ I can't contain myself,
dog, stay outside the lines ♪
♪ 'Cause I think outside the
box every mother-fucking time ♪
♪ It's impossible to box me, ♪
♪ Cage me, or stop me ♪
♪ Block me? No ♪
♪ You fuckin' with black Rocky ♪
♪ Light-skinned Zulu ♪
♪ Can't stop my charge ♪
♪ Millenium Malcom ♪
♪ Damn I goes hard ♪
♪ This is murder ♪
♪ Somebody call the Feds to come get 'em ♪
♪ 'Cause real talk man ♪
♪ Ain't nobody fuckin' with 'em ♪
♪ You gettin' what you asked for ♪
♪ 'cause this is what you chose ♪
♪ Think you settin' up shop? ♪
♪ Watch me bring it to a close ♪