Raven's Home (2017–…): Season 5, Episode 18 - Tying the Astro-Knot - full transcript

[♪]

I know you all know me
as your favorite podiatrist,

and if you elect me
for city council,

I promise you
I'll put my best foot forward.

(laughs)

That's a little
podiatrist humor.

- Did you like that one, bunion?
- (barks)

(Applause)

In closing, I'd like to say

that a vote for me is a step...

In the right direction.



(Giggles) Step.

I came up with that one.
Would you say I...

Knocked your socks off?

- Ivy, Ivy, these foot puns are...
- Amazing.

I mean, you have to use them
for your mom's victory speech.

I know, I know.
I, uh, toe-nailed it.

Which is good because
newt slackley from kbrp news

is doing a story on me
for the campaign.

Wait, we gonna be on TV?!

No, I'm gonna be on TV.

The race is really tight. I don't
need you two messing it up.

- Man, we're totally gonna be on TV!
- (scoffs)

(Whooshing)

(Echoing): Unfortunately, the
voters just don't think she's likable.



It could jeopardize
the election.

(Whooshing)

Wait, I just had a vision.

Ivy's gonna cost
her mom the election

because voters don't
think she's likable.

Really? I thought
Dr. Chen was a shoe-in.

More foot puns? Really?

No, no, no!
I-I'm being serious!

I never thought
she would get defeated.

De-feet-ed?
Come on, Neil. Cut it out.

I'm not even trying!

I just keep putting
my foot in my mouth.

Ah! I did it again!

Theme music playing...

♪ Ha, ha!
Lemme tell ya somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision
all worked out ♪

♪ But then life
had other plans ♪

♪ Tell 'em, mom ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
turn upside down ♪

♪ But ya gotta get up
and take that chance ♪

♪ New city,
I'm finding my way ♪

♪ It's gonna take some time ♪

- ♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪
- ♪ Ya know I got you, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild, but ya
know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just fam
caught up in a crazy world ♪

- ♪ C'mon! ♪
- ♪ It's Raven's home ♪

- ♪ We get loud! ♪
- ♪ Yeah, Raven's home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough, but
together we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

- ♪ It's Raven's home ♪
- ♪ When it's tough ♪

- ♪ Yeah, Raven's home ♪
- ♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cos no matter the weather,
ya know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other,
ya know it's our time ♪

(Raven laughing)
*RAVEN'S HOME*

Yep! That's us.

*RAVEN'S HOME*
Season 05 Episode 18

[♪ ♪]

Episode Title: "Tying the Astro-Knot"
Aired on: October 07, 2022.

I can't believe
a world-famous astronaut

wants you to design her gown
for the first wedding in space!

I can't believe how often
stuff like this happens to me.

(Alice laughs)

I'm just excited to meet
captain Nichols.

Once, she repaired
her spacecraft

and saved her entire crew!

(Sighs) I've looked up
to her since I was a kid.

That long, huh?

If I hadn't read her theories

on the transference
of dark matter,

I'd still be wasting my time

on statistical mechanics!

(laughing)

What am I, 4?

Do you say stuff like this to
make other people feel dumb?

- Yeah. Did it work?
- Yeah...

W-When's captain Nichols coming?

- There's so much I wanna say to her!
- (laughs)

Hey, Raven!
Sorry I'm a little early.

I just couldn't wait
to see my dress.

And who is this?

Uh...

Aw. Are you shy?

This one? No. This is Alice.
She is your biggest fan.

Do you wanna be an astronaut
when you grow up?

(Nervous laugh)

Okay, okay, uh...

Why don't you go downstairs
and get us some waters?

Yeah...

- Sorry about that.
- It happens more than you think.

When I met the rock,
he started crying.

Oh! Well, I cannot wait to show
you what I've been working on.

I give you cosmic couture.

And if the aliens ask,

I make it with six arms,
eight arms,

or no arms.
I do not discriminate.

I can't wait until
my fiancé sees me in this!

We were space camp sweethearts.

Aw, I married my
high school sweetheart.

Aw! How long have
you been married?

Girl, please. (Laughs)

After two kids and 10 years,
we are happily divorced.

- What happened?
- Well, you know,

y-you wake up together,
you eat together,

you brush your teeth together,
and eventually,

you hope you get jury duty

just so y'all don't
have to be together.

Flint and I work together.
Do you think that's a problem?

No, no, no. You guys'll
be great. We just...

We just needed our space.

So, if you were stuck
in a rocket together...

(loud laughter)
Girl! (Laughs)

Two would go up,
and I would come down.

- Thank you.
- (nervous laugh)

U-um, okay, Cassie.
Why don't you try on the dress

in the dressing room over there?

Thank you. (Laughs)

- What is going on with you?
- I don't know!

Okay, you can talk to me,
but you can't talk to her?

She's important, and you're...

Be careful what you say next.

I am your ride.

[♪ ♪]

Alright, newt slackley is gonna
be following Ivy around all day,

- so we have to make sure she doesn't embarrass herself.
- Maybe it'll be fine.

One cool thing about me

is I play lead trombone
in a funk fusion band.

We rock
the farmer's market hard!

- Maybe we should tell her about your vision.
- We can't.

Alright, she'll be embarrassed.
We just gotta help her.

And, little-known fact,

I was voted second best
beat boxer in my scout troop.

There were two of us.

But you're not doing a profile
on Stacy Spencer now, are you?

- (Beat boxing)
- Ah!

- Hey, everybody, I'm Booker!
- And I'm Neil.

And you're both
interrupting my interview.

But we just wanted to tell the
public how great Ivy Chen is.

Ivy's always willing to help.

Like that time I broke
into the principal's office.

She was right there by my side.

Breaking and entering?
Tell me more.

(Fake laugh) No, don't.
(mouthing)

And she is so smart.

Ivy helped cover my tracks
to avoid exposure

when I was impersonating
a food critic.

Identity theft. Juicy.

(Fake laugh) Not juicy.
A misunderstanding.

And Ivy's loyal to the end!

Like that time she helped us
escape from prison!

A prison break.
Scandalous!

Cut!

(Grumbles)

- What are you doing?
- We're trying to help you connect with the voters

by showing them
how amazing you are!

(Scoffs)
Guys, I had it covered.

Beat boxing. (Beat boxes)

Don't! Do it! Again!

Okay, the trombone?
Beat boxing?

They all just seem
a little too... Niche.

What's something you like
that everyone likes?

Ha! Yes! I got it.

- She got it.
- You ready for it?

Oh, we are so ready.

It's science!

- Nope.
- That is unfortunate.

Change of plans, slackley.
We're taking this party

to the lab. Woot-woot!

[♪ ♪]

See, Tasha? It's captain
Nichols, the astronaut I met.

We talked for hours.

She wanted to take me up on
this mission, but I said no.

What's that, Tasha?
Yeah, she lying.

Alright! Cassie is about
to blast off in two hours,

and I gotta get this down
to the launch pad.

Ooh! Check it out! They're
interviewing her right now!

(Gasps) Turn it up!
She might mention me.

I know everyone has been
asking about my wedding

and my beautiful dress
designed by Raven Baxter.

She said my name! She
said my name! That's me!

But no one's ever gonna see it

because there's not
going to be a wedding.

Thanks to Raven Baxter.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's...

She's talking about
a different Raven Baxter.

You know, it's a very
common name. (Laughs)

[♪ ♪]

[♪ ♪]

Why would Cassie
call off the wedding?

What did you say to her?

Nothing! I just told her

that I married
my high school sweetheart,

that we spent
too much time together,

and that I was much happier
after we got divorced.

Oh... I just heard it.

You have to go down
there and convince her...

To wear my dress.

I was gonna say
marry her true love.

Yeah, in my dress.
We saying the same thing.

[[♪ ♪]]

Ivy Chen has broken out
the beakers

and is going to show us
something cool about...

Science?

As a doctor,
my mom believes in the value

of science education,
and so do I.

This was her big plan?
A boring experiment?

Who thinks science
is cool anyway?

- Scientists.
- Okay, besides them.

- Science teachers.
- Do you wanna know what I did or not?

Proceed.

I've seen Ivy do
this experiment before.

It just sort of bubbles,
and that's it. So...

I added a little more
of this just to jazz it up.

- Uh-oh.
- Neil, what did you do?

Well,

I've also seen Ivy do
this experiment before.

You know how it just
kind of... Bubbles?

Neil, you didn't!

No, I didn't. I didn't...

Unless you mean
add more of this.

Because then, I did. I did.

When you add my mom
to the city council,

you get a little
chemical reaction

I call "a brighter future."

No, Ivy, wait!

(Gurgling, blasting)

Oof, thank goodness!
That was almost a disaster.

Newt:
What do you mean almost?

(Sighs)
You got science all over us!

Come on, Pierce. I've
got extra shirts in the Van.

That's the one perk
of living in it.

(Sighs)

I don't get it.

I've done this a million times.
What went wrong?

(Awkward muttering)

- What did you do?
- Both: It was him!

Why would you do this?

This profile is supposed
to help my mom's campaign.

You ruined everything!

We were just trying to make your
experiment more interesting,

- so you'd be more likable to voters.
- (scoffs)

Why would you think I'm not?

(Sighs)

Booker had a vision of your mom

saying that the voters
don't find you likable.

I'm not likable?

No, we didn't say it!

The-the vision said it.

And her mom.
Her mom also said it.

In the vision.

Yo, is someone
paying you not to help?

I don't wanna be the reason my
mom doesn't win. You know what?

If they want likable,
I'll give them likable.

I'll shove so much likability
down their throats,

- they'll choke.
- Okay, I don't think we want them to choke...

Oh, no, no, no.
They're gonna choke,

and they're gonna like it.

[♪ ♪]

(Birds chirping)

(Door rattling)

Why is the door locked?
Who's out here stealing rockets?

(Sighs)

(Whirring)

(Quick alarm)

Hm, well, guess we gotta
do it the old-fashioned way.

- One, one, one, one.
- (beeping, quick alarm)

- Hm, one, one, one, two.
- (beeping)

(Quick alarm)

- One, one, one, three?
- (beeping, quick alarm)

There are 10,000
possible combinations.

Ah, don't distract me! I have
a system! One, one, one, six.

Alice!
What are you doing here?

This might be the last chance

for me to talk to
captain Nichols,

so I hid in the backseat
of your car.

Besides,

did you really think you would
get past security without me?

I was gettin' to it.

- One, one, one, seven.
- (beeping)

- (Quick alarm)
- One, one, one, eight.

Ooh! Good idea!

You're gonna pour water on it
and short out the system.

Bam! (Laughs)

I'm not an amateur.

This is the water bottle captain
Nichols used at her fitting.

- It's got her fingerprint on it.
- (gasps)

(Whirring)

- (Beep, lock clicks)
- (gasps) Wow!

I would've done something
like that when I was your age.

- Really?
- Nah, I'd have poured water on it.

[♪ ♪]

Commencing operation
choke on it.

Let's schmooze some voters.

This is Mr. Jones.
He's vegan.

I hate meat. Vote for Chen.

This is Ms. Lee.
She's a butcher.

I love meat. Vote for Chen.

Hey, Ivy, look!

There's a baby!
Alright, you gotta kiss it

'cause people love when
politicians kiss babies.

Bring the camera, slackley.

We're kissing babies.

Aw. Your baby is so...

(all yell)

Hoo! (Laughs)

Okay, Ivy, now y-you
go ahead and kiss it.

- Mm, I don't want to.
- The cameras are rolling.

I'll just shake its hand.

Vote for Chen.

Ivy Chen, bringing together

vegans, butchers, and babies.

- Is there anything this girl can't do?
- Hm.

Hey, the only thing people love
more than babies is dogs.

- Quick, where's bunion?
- Oh, there she is.

(Barking)

(Slow-motion):
Mom...

(slow-motion):
Look...

(slow-motion):
Out...

(slow-motion scream)

(Splattering)

(Gasps)

Well, at least it wasn't us,
huh, Pierce?

(Squish, splat)

How did that even happen?!

[♪ ♪]

(lock clicks)

(Whispers):
Okay. Let's go.

What happens if
we run into someone?

Oh, I'll just tell 'em
I'm a scientist.

But you don't look
like a scientist.

Boom, boom, scientist.

Let's go, alright?

We have to find Cassie
so I can convince her

- to wear my dress.
- And get married.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's what I said.

Found her!

(Gasps) Oh no! She's
getting in the capsule!

Oh, I have to get in there!

How are you gonna
get on a rocket?

(Clicks tongue)

Hold my bag.

[♪ ♪]

Check it out.
Rocket Rae!

(laughs)

Okay, now you stay put,
and what are you gonna say

if anyone comes around
asking questions?

I want my lawyer!
I know my rights.

There it is. And if that doesn't
work, turn on the waterworks.

Set off the sprinklers!
Good idea.

I just meant cry, but,
uh, that's next level.

[♪ ♪]

Test conductor, check.
Launch system, check.

Fuel coupling, check.

(laughs) I'm glad something
around here's still a couple.

Flint, we agreed
we wouldn't talk about this.

- We have to stay focused.
- I just feel like

the thrusters in my heart
are malfunctioning.

- (Door hissing)
- Nobody likes a whiner, flint.

Pastor Blake?
What are you doing here?

Someone was supposed to tell
you that the wedding's off.

I haven't even told my mama yet.

That's because I'm not
pastor Blake. It's me, Raven.

Oh, you're Raven.

Thanks to you, we have
to return our wedding gifts.

I had plans for that air fryer!

No, no, no. No one is losing
an air fryer. Okay, listen,

I made a mistake.
You two should be getting married.

But you said our marriage
wouldn't work out.

- Computer: Launch in t-minus 15...
- No, I was talking about my marriage not working out.

- You two are perfect for each other.
- Raven...

- Computer: Ten, nine...
- No, no. Let me finish, okay? It all started

because I wanted you to wear
my dress, and I still think

- you should wear my dress 'cause, girl, it is gorgeous.
- Raven...

- No! I need to say this, okay?
- Computer: Four, three,

- two, one...
- I couldn't live with myself if I knew

- that I ruined your happiness because my marriage failed.
- Computer: Blastoff.

(Rockets blasting, rumbling)

(Shaky): Uh, what is
happening? Why are we shaking?

Girl, you better strap in!
We're going to space!

I can't go to space!
It's a school night!

Ah! I'm going to space!

(Screaming)

Oh snap!

[♪ ♪]

[♪ ♪]

(Rockets blasting)

Raven!
You should be strapped in!

What do you think
I'm trying to do?!

(Wailing)

I can't die!

I got a salon
appointment tomorrow,

and I already bought the hair!

Computer:
Exiting earth's atmosphere

- in three, two, one.
- (Raven gasping)

(Blasting stops)

Oh snap. I'm in space.

(Helmets clicking)

Relax, Raven. (Sighs)
There's plenty of oxygen.

Why you say that?
We ain't got enough oxygen?

(Wheezing) It's getting...

It's getting stuffy in here.

I think... I can't breathe.
I need to open a window!

- Flint/cassie: No! Don't open a window!
- (gasps)

Alice (over pa):
This is mission control.

What it do, flight crew?

Why does mission control sound
like a 10-year-old girl?

I hacked into the comm system.

(Whispers):
Auntie Rae, are you okay?

I'm kinda regretting
the third gordita!

But here we are.

Alice: So, how'd it go?
Is the wedding back on?

I don't know. Is it?

It just seems like
such a big leap.

A big leap? We just left
the planet together,

and now you're scared
to marry me?

Scared? Who said I'm scared?

Okay. I'm scared.

Yeah, that's natural,
but it doesn't mean

you shouldn't take a chance.

Alice: Yeah, and you know
that better than anyone.

You proved there
was water on Jupiter

when everyone said
you were wrong!

Yes, and Alice is
always talking about

how you repaired your spacecraft
and saved your whole crew.

(laughs)
Darn right, she did.

- One of the million reasons I love her.
- Oh...

Oh! And don't forget that time
you wrote a recommendation

for the 10-year-old genius
to get into space camp.

When did I do that?

Hopefully when you land.

Listen, you love that man.

Don't not marry him because
of something stupid I said.

You've always trusted
your instincts.

Do they still tell you
to marry me?

- They do.
- I think you mean...

(dramatically):
I do.

[♪ ♪]

Breaking news. Political
pundit pelted with pastries,

and I'm all out of clean shirts.
Care to comment?

We at the Chen
campaign believe

that cupcakes are for eating,

not wearing.

No further comment.

Ivy? What happened?

I'm sorry, mom.
I didn't mean

to hurt your chances of
winning the election.

What are you talking about?

Well, I know the voters don't
think I'm likable, so I've been

trying to find different
ways to boost my image.

That's ridiculous!

You're smart,
caring, and funny.

Just like me.

Would you say I...
Follow in your footsteps?

I toe-tally would.

We should probably cool it
with the foot puns, right?

Well, I was only doing it
because I thought you liked it.

Who cares what
the voters think, Ivy?

You're my daughter,
and I love you.

Uh-huh... Maybe we go for
a handshake this time.

Eh...

Oh, I hope you'll still love
me after this profile airs.

Wait, are you kidding me?

You did all of this to show
your mom how much you care.

That's a great story.

It's too bad nobody
actually watches

these political profiles.
(laughs)

Uh, bad news, Ivy.
We can't find bunion anywhere.

Why is bunion here?
Your dad's supposed to be

dropping her off at
obedience school.

Unfortunately, the voters just
don't think she's likable.

It could jeopardize
the election.

Oh...

(laughs)

- The dog!
- Yeah.

Girl, she meant the dog!

That's my bad.

Yeah, it is.
But it's cool.

Your visions may not be
reliable, but you guys are.

Thanks for trying to help.

- (Chomp)
- (Neil wheezes)

(Wheezing):
I think I found bunion.

- (Growling)
- Booker: Oh!

Guess this was the wrong day

to stop wearing
two pairs of underpants.

(Booker and Ivy yelling)

(Space age music playing)

[♪ ♪]

Oh!

Dearly beloved,
we are floating here today

to celebrate
the marriage between...

Oh, excuse me.
Gimme a sec.

To celebrate the marriage
between Cassie and flint.

May your love span the universe.

You may now exchange the rings.

(laughs) Okay, hold
up. Be right back.

Give me a second, just...

(blowing, mumbling)
Gimme a minute. Hold on.

Oh yeah... (grunts)

Okay. I pronounce you

m... oh! Here we go.

- (Quiet laughter)
- (muttering)

I pronounce you...

Oh, tighten your core!
Tighten your core!

I'm trying, but my core
is not responding!

Ah, there it is.

I now pronounce you

husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Oh, I love it!

And you may wanna get married
back when you're on the ground.

This may only be legal in space.

[♪ ♪]

(Elevator dings,
doors rumbling)

Congratulations,
captain Nichols.

Look who found her voice.

(Confident laugh)

I just wanted to say
you're my hero.

No, Alice, you're my hero.
You saved our day.

And our nonrefundable deposit
on the reception hall.

Where's auntie Rae?

(Gasping)

I never wanna go to space again!

(Wailing)

- Auntie Rae, get up, get up, get up, get up.
- Why?!

- Security guard!
- Oh, snap.

(Alice screams)

Ay, ay, ay!

I'm keeping the suit.
Get back. Get back!

[♪ ♪]