Raven's Home (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - The Baxters Get Bounced - full transcript

♪♪

♪♪

Breakfast is ready!

- Yes!
- I'm starvin'!

Me too!

Good! 'Cause I made pancakes!

- I'm good.
- Kinda full.

Had a big dinner.

Sit down. Chelsea worked
really hard on these.

Yeah, I can't wait
for you to try 'em.

I can't wait to see if I can
swallow 'em without tastin' 'em.



I think you guys are
really gonna like them.

Gee, Mom, these taste
just like yours.

- Maybe even better.
- Don't push it, Chels.

Since I moved in here,
I actually like food again.

Wait a minute. I see
what's goin' on here.

You do?

You don't have to steal pancakes from
the kids, Rae. I made plenty, here.

- No, I'm good. I'm good.
- Open wide. Hey.

- Chel, I don't want to.
- What?

Why aren't you
eatin' my pancake?

Well, it's just...

Good. Right?

(crunch)

Uh-huh.
Yes. Yes, Chels.



Yes! (giggles)

(gasps)

I made the coffee, too.

♪ Ohhhhh ♪

♪ - Hey ♪
♪ - Yo ♪

♪ Let me tell you somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision
all worked out ♪

♪ But then life
had other plans ♪

♪ Tell 'em, Rae ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
turn upside down ♪

♪ But you gotta get up
and take that chance ♪

♪ - Maybe I'm just finding my way now ♪
♪ - Learning how to fly ♪

♪ - And we're gonna be okay ♪
♪ - You know I got you, right ♪

♪ It might be wild, but you
know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just kids caught ♪
♪ up in a crazy world ♪

♪ - Come on! ♪
♪ - It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ - Yep! We get loud! ♪
♪ - It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ It might be tough, but
together we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

♪ When it's tough ♪

♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
♪ - We got love! ♪

♪ Cause no matter the weather,
you know we gon' shine! ♪

♪ There for each other, you know ♪
it's our time! ♪ (Raven laughing)
*RAVEN'S HOME*
Season 01 Episode 03
Title: "The Baxters Get Bounced"

Yep! That's us.

(laughing)

Uh, Booker, I think you have
too many dishes in there.

You've never loaded a
dishwasher in your life.

How do you know?

Because you can't close it.

It'll close.
Never doubt the man.

Who closed it?
The man.

Now the man's gonna
go watch cartoons.

(clicks, humming)

(dishes rattling)

- What's happening?
- (grinding)

I think the man just
broke the dishwasher.

Guys, calm down.

All right? It's not broken.

(thumping)

(hisses)

Yeah, that's broken.

Hey, Rae! Uh, listen, the, uh,
toilet won't stop running.

Oh, did you do that
trick with the handle?

The jiggle, jiggle, stop,
jiggle, jiggle, stop...

jiggle, jiggle?

Yeah. No, I did,

then it, uh, jiggle,
jiggle, broke.

I don't have time for this.

- I have to get to work.
- Wait. On a Saturday?

Yeah. My bossed called me and
said that one of our clients

is having a fashion emergency.

That's okay, I'll just
call the landlord.

- No! Don't do that.
- What?

No, don't do that,
don't do that.

Just flush with the
pliers that we use

to turn on the hallway light.

Wait. Aren't these the pliers
that we use to open the closet?

No, no, those are the pliers
that we use to turn on the oven.

Yeah. Rae, I think
we have a problem.

You're right. I need
to buy more pliers.

Why can't we just
call the landlord?

- Who are you?
- Who am I? I live here! Who are you?

Oh no, Chels, I just had a
vision that the landlord

saw you in our apartment.

Why can't the landlord see me?

(high-pitched) Well...

Uh-oh, Rae. Listen, we've
been besties for a long time,

and if there's one thing I know,
it's that the higher your voice,

the guiltier you are.

(very high-pitched) Wha-aat?

Rae-Rae, what'd you do?

I never told Jablonski that
you and Levi moved in,

and it says on our lease that it can
only be one family per apartment.

Just keep it a secret
until I talk to him.

Don't worry, Rae.
I'm as good at keepin' secrets

as I am at makin' pancakes.

Go to your room.

Ah! I found the problem.

It's this thing in my hands.

- What's wrong with it?
- It should not be in my hands.

- Hey, guys.
- Nothing!

Nia, what's goin' on?

It's the dishwasher. It...

just started making
this weird noise.

Well, I'll put it on my
list of things to fix

when I get home.

Are you really gonna fix it,
or just clamp pliers on it?

I gotta work on a Saturday.

My house is fallin' apart.

You really tryin' to poke
this bear right now, Levi?

Nope. I'm good.

All I ask is that you do not
call the landlord, please.

I do not want Mr. Jablonski in
this apartment while I'm gone.

For now, just use the
other dishwasher.

- What other dishwasher?
- You!

Raven, thank goodness
you're here.

I really didn't wanna call
you in on a Saturday,

which is why I had
my assistant do it.

Crafty. Didn't think about
blocking Jessica's number.

We have a Mitzi
Vandermark situation.

Wait a second. When I left
yesterday, everybody was happy.

Those capri pants I
made were perfect.

Well, today she tried
them on and freaked.

She was so upset she
peed on the floor.

- What?
- (dog whimpers)

What are we gonna do?

Her owner's gonna
be back any minute.

Don't worry about this. I
got it, I got it, hold on.

Yeah, that's easy, that's easy, I'm gonna
lower the hemline, taper the waist,

and then give her booty a
good 20-minute scratch.

Are you talking about
Mitzi or the owner?

Whatever gets me
outta here sooner.

I just had a genius idea:

Let's spell Mitzi's name
in jewels on her booty.

Uh, I don't like it.
I don't like it.

Well, I love it, and
we're doing it.

- Okay.
- This is so fun. It doesn't even feel like

- we're working on a Saturday.
- (both laugh)

(mockingly) Yes, it does.

Finally! Last one.

Booker! You didn't
wash the bottom.

We don't eat off the bottom.

I don't wanna do this anymore.

Why can't we just
call Jablonski?

Mom said not to.

She's at work. She'll
never know he was here.

Or we can keep washing dishes.

By hand. Forever.

Give me the phone.

Levi, go in the hallway and keep watch
just in case Mom comes home early.

And no messing around.

Gotta really pay attention.

But won't I look suspicious?

I should probably have a cover.

I could bring my drone.

Hey, you know, that's
some good thinkin', yeah.

And make it look like
you're really havin' fun.

Okay, but I'm only doin' it for you, not
because it's what I wanted to do anyway.

- He just played me, didn't he?
- (door opens)

Like a curly-haired piano.

Just a boy playin' with his drone. Keep
movin'. Nothin' to see here. Come on.

What the heck, Tess?
Why'd you hit my drone?

'Cause I had a bat.

And because you have a bat, I
won't ask any more questions.

Man, now I gotta
go find my drone.

Quit your crying. I'll help ya.

- You don't have to.
- Eh.

It's either that or help my mom

get rid of the fleas
in our apartment.

How you get to have fleas
in your apartment?

How am I supposed to know?

There we go!
Dishwasher's all fixed.

- Thanks!
- "Thanks"? That's it?

The absolute bare
minimum of gratitude?

Oh, yeah, I don't
deserve more than that.

I'm just Phil Jablonski.
I don't have feelings.

Thanks a lot?

Now it's meaningless.
You made me beg for it.

Hey! Hey, who put the
chain on this door?

Mom's home! Okay, you distract
her, I'll hide Jablonski,

and when she's not looking,
I'll sneak him out.

Right. Okay. Okay.

Uh, Mr. Jablonski? While you're
here, would you mind taking a look

at our leaky shower head?

Oh, sure. Not like I got
nothin' else to do.

I mean, I don't, but it's
the assumption that hurts.

Hold on, hold on, gotta
close it to open it.

That's how the chain works.

(laughs) You know how
the chain works.

Yeah, I know how the chain work.

Mom, I'm glad you're home.
There's a spider in the kitchen,

I need you to kill it.

What's the matter, your
sister not around?

(laughs)

Yep, that was savage, Mom.
Cold-blooded.

- Mom's in the kitchen.
- Perfect. I'll get Jablonski

out of the bathroom,
and Mom will never know he was here.

(Chelsea screams)

What was that?

Who are you?

Wh... who am I? I live here!
Who are you?

Mr. Jablonski?

Gosh, that name sounds
really familiar.

Hey, Rae, what's the
name of that landlord

I'm not supposed to
tell I live here?

Both: Jablonski.

Yep. That's it.

♪♪

Mr. Jablonski, I swear
I was gonna tell you

about Chelsea and
Levi moving in.

- When?
- You know, today, around this time.

Your lease says one
family per apartment.

An extra family'll cost you an
extra thousand bucks a month.

What? That's ridiculous.
We can't afford that.

Listen, you broke the rules.
Come up with the money,

or you're all out by
the end of the month.

What?

Is that really gonna happen?

He can't just kick
us out, can he?

Nobody's getting kicked out.

Nobody. Don't worry
about it, all right?

Just let me and Aunt
Chels talk this out.

(sighs)

Ooh.

So, what'd you wanna talk about?

Really?

I don't know. I don't know!
Rae, I'm freakin' out!

I don't wanna leave.
Levi's so happy.

I'm happy.

It's like for the first
time since my divorce,

I actually felt like
things were gonna be okay.

They will be. They will, Chels.
Don't worry about it.

We're gonna figure
this out, right?

We gotta... we gotta find a way
to make an extra $1,000 a month.

Oh, I got it.

Every day at 4:30 an armored
truck stops outside the building

across the street. One guard
goes outside while the other one

stays in the car. I'm thinkin'...
today, when the first guy leaves,

I'll creep up on the second guy,
and ask them if they're hiring.

Right?

Or...

I'll just go back to work and
ask my boss for a raise.

Okay. All right, but
if that doesn't work,

you gotta text me by 4:15,
so I can get in position.

And print out a resume.

This came off my drone.

Maybe it flew in that apartment.

Hold up! I know everybody
in this building,

and the lady who lives
in there is a witch.

A witch? Are you joking?

Listen up, fun size. There's
two things I don't joke about,

and one of them's witches.

What's the other thing?

Who cares, yo? We're
talkin' about witches!

I have to get my drone.

I'm going in.

Aaaaah!

Tess, what are you doing?

I came in here to keep you from being
witched like all these other kids.

They're not kids. They're dolls.

Oh, yeah?

Well, then why does this one look
like Mike Applebaum from 3F?

Yo Mike, they told us
you moved to St. Louis.

Tess, you can go if you want,

but I'm not leaving
without my drone.

What's the big deal with
that thing, anyway?

It was the last thing my dad
got me before he went to jail.

I'm sorry, Levi.

Don't worry, we'll find it.

- (lamp clicks)
- Who are you?

Both: (screaming) Witch!

Paisley? Are you here?

(whimpering)

Oh, come on! If you're gonna
put Mitzi's name on the pants,

at least sew it right!

Paisley: Jessica, call
Mitzi's owner and tell her

the pants are ready.

(gasps) What happened?

Quick! Call Raven!

She's the only one
who can fix this.

(phone ringing)

What are you doing?

I was... I was looking for
the perpetrator who, uh...

Who, uh... who jacked
up Mitzi's pants.

And I... I thought they was behind
the curtain, but they weren't.

Please tell me you can fix them.

Oh, of course, of
course I can fix them.

You're a life saver.

I literally don't know what
I would do without you.

Oh, I am so glad you said that,
'cause I need to ask you something.

Raven, you can ask me
anything, literally.

If there is anything
you need, just ask.

I would literally do
anything for you.

I need a raise.

I literally cannot do that.

Now that my dog is engaged
to the mayor's dog,

I have to pay for a
really fancy wedding.

So you can't give me a raise
'cause your dog's getting married?

I knew you'd understand.

No, I don't. I literally don't.

Booker... I have an idea
on how we can make money.

We can sell some of our stuff, like...
in a yard sale.

Nia, there's no way we're gonna raise
$1,000 selling our dumb stuff.

We can't just sit around.

This is our fault. It could
split our family up.

You don't think I know that?

Now that I have a brother, I
finally know the joy you've had

for the last 11 years.

What are we gonna do?

You did it! You saved
the apartment!

Nia! I just had another
one of those things

where I saw what was gonna
happen before it happens!

- A vision?
- Yeah, let's call it that from now on.

In this one, I saved
the apartment!

That's amazing! How?

Was it the yard sale?

That or I finally got that
male modeling contract.

Yard sale it is!

You're gonna love
Robie the Robot.

He's a radio, a flashlight,

and if you push this button,
sometimes, not every time...

he swears.

From one Easy-Make baker
to another, a 25-watt bulb

is the secret to a moist cake.

All right. You enjoy
yourself, Terry.

- How much did you make?
- One hundred and forty.

So unless you made $860,
then we're in trouble.

We're in trouble.

I can't believe Paisley
wouldn't give me a raise.

I've been workin'
here for three years,

and all she can say to me was,

(mimics Paisley) "Raven, can you
please re-bling this bulldog's booty?"

I called the bank and tried cleaning
out my savings, but apparently,

you can only do that once!

I don't know what we're gonna do,
Chels, I'm all out of ideas.

I mean, how are we gonna
get a thousand dollars?

Rae, listen, we have been
through so much together.

You know, high school? Divorce? That
summer we spent crewin' that oil rig?

We can't give up.

You're right.

- I'll be home soon.
- Okay.

(knock on door)

Mr. Jablonski,
thanks for comin'.

This is weird, right? I jack up your
rent, you invite me over for coffee.

I gotta tell ya, my, uh, landlord
senses are tingling here.

(laughing)

No. No, no, no, I just thought if we
talked over maybe a cup of coffee,

we could, uh, come to some
sort of understanding.

(laughs)

(spitting)

Oh! This is awful!

Wait. You tryin' to poison me?

Poison you? Why would I do that?

To stop me from
throwin' you out.

Well, this isn't the first time a tenant's
tried to poison old Phil Jablonski.

I'm callin' the cops.

- Well, careful, don't slip on the...
- Whoa!

- (gasp)
- (thud)

coffee!

Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry, I... I
should've said that faster.

Tess: Lady, you're killin' me!

With all that delicious cake!

It was really nice
to meet you, Myrna.

Thanks for being so understanding
about the breaking and entering.

And for not turning
us into dolls.

Please! Where would I put you?

Come back soon. We can look through
the rest of my family albums!

Can't wait.

Now that lady had way too many
pictures of her son, right?

Made her doll collection
look downright reasonable.

(laughs)

Chels! Kids!

Mom?

This is for you.

We sold a bunch of our stuff.

It's not enough for the rent,
but we want you to have it.

You did not have to do this.

I told you, Chels and I
were gonna take care of it.

I know. But we wanted to help.

(Nia giggles)

You guys are never gonna
believe where I just was.

- Mmm!
- Why is there a dude in the closet?

Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmmmmm!

- (gasps) Mr. Jablonski?
- Mmm! Mmm! Mm!

What is going on here?

(knock on door)

Hey, Levi, you forgot your toy.

(noises through gag)

- Phil?
- Mmm!

- You know him?
- He's my son!

The witch from 2A is your mama?

Oh! Well, I see you found
Mr. Jablonski.

- Mm!
- Why have you got my Philly all tied up?

Yeah, why do you have
her Philly all tied up?

I panicked! Okay? God, he ac...
Accused me of trying to poison him.

- Why would he think that?
- I don't know,

I just made him cup of coffee.

Trio: Oh...

(coughs) Ma, these people are crazy.
I want ya outta here.

Mr. Jablonski, please!
Please, don't blame them.

My son and I will move out.

- That'll work!
- Wait. No, no, no,

if they're going, we're going.

That works, too!

I'm sorry. None of this
would be happening

if I hadn't've called Jablonski.

I should've just
listened to you.

But you only called him 'cause
I broke the dishwasher.

Stop it, you two, stop it.

This is not on you. It's on me.

All right? Mr. Jablonski?

I should've told you that
I had another family move in,

but you have to understand,
this is my best friend.

And she was struggling. And honestly,
so was I, I mean, we got kids,

we got bills.

It's hard.

And yes, we might be two families
living in one apartment, but...

You know what? It's okay.

We'll get outta your hair.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Sorry, Myrna. Looks like we won't be
able to play mah-jongg next Tuesday.

Oh, don't cancel
on me yet, honey.

I know what's it's like to
try and raise kids alone.

I wish I had a best friend helpin' me out
when I was raisin' this knucklehead.

Ma, what are you sayin'?

Nobody's goin' anywhere!

But they're two families!

I only see one.

And I'm not letting
you throw them out!

- (whispers) Or raise the rent.
- Or raise the rent!

But, Ma, I'm the landlord.

And I own the building!

How cool is this? Jablonski's
getting yelled at by his mom!

Come on, Phil. We've bothered
these nice people long enough.

Oh, Levi, are we still
on for mah-jongg?

- Only if you don't mind losing.
- Oh, we'll see.

Wow, Levi! Good thing you
made friends with Myrna.

She's right. You did it!
You saved the apartment!

That was my vision!

I know, but... Levi
saved the day, not us.

And he's gettin' my smooches!

Hey! Now everybody is gettin' smooches.
Come here.

(giggles) Smooches!

Here's Philly when he was three.

Oh, and here he is in the tub!

Both: Aww.

You guys, I have a picture of the
twins just like it, check it out.

Both: Aww.

Yeah, Levi never liked baths.

This is him in the shower.

Both: Aww.

This is so humiliating.

The worst.

What is it with moms
and bath pictures?

I get it. I got a
pretty cute tushie.

Oh, and here's
Philly with a perm.

You had hair?

Sorry, man we gotta see this.

All: Aww!

♪♪