Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja (2012–2015): Season 1, Episode 21 - Der Monster Klub - full transcript
- ¶ Go, Ninja! ¶
- [Randy] I was chosen
to protect my school
from the forces of evil.
I am the Ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham.
¶ Smoke bomb! ¶
[grunting]
Hi, I'm Pitch Kickham,
and your eyes are not
playing tricks on you.
My shorts are
incredibly snug.
You're welcome.
My game's so tight,
I can't lose.
Celebrate the launch
of the all-new McHuggers today
at the Pitch Kickham
Shoot Out Kicktacular.
If you can block my shot,
you and a friend will win
a dream trip with me,
Pitch Kickham, in a limo
to the airport.
McHuggers!
When you asked me
to hold your spot in line
for the Kicktacular,
you didn't say anything
about standing.
Have you tried leaning?
Hmm...
You just bought
yourself five minutes.
[grunts] Ninja snatch!
- [screaming]
- [glass shatters]
Now hurry up or I'm gonna
have to do this thing.
And doing things
ain't my thing.
- It's your thing.
- [beeps]
The Ninja is escaping.
Get up and capture him!
Hmm? Ninja sprint!
Yah!
No honkin' way!
McHuggers! They don't come
out till tomorrow. [gasps]
These make your game so
tight, you can't lose.
Yoink!
Those are tiny. How am I
supposed to put those on?
- [snarling]
- [crash]
The Ninja
stole my McHuggers!
Looks like we're
one short short. [laughs]
- [moans]
- Don't!
Nobody laugh.
Don't encourage him.
[snoring]
Let's make this quick,
NinjaNomicon.
I only got two
more stops. [gasps]
Whoa!
[snoring]
"A Ninja's hand is to give,
not to take."
Give? I'm not giving
McFist anything.
That guy's an evil shoob.
Hmm?
[snorts, growls]
- [snoring]
- [gasps]
Excuse me,
this is my stop, so...
[Slimovitz] Let's give a big
Norrisville welcome to...
Pitch Kickham!
[cheering]
Mr. Kickham, riding
in a limo with you has
been a lifelong goal.
Soccer zing!
- [winces]
- Goal!
[moans]
- [sighs]
- [giggles]
Sorry. Force of habit.
Who's next?
- [crickets chirping]
- [girl gulps]
Ugh! There you are.
Why are you all the way
at the end of the line?
I can lean,
or I can move up.
Turns out I'm a leaner.
What's with the street clothes?
You can't block
Kickham in streets.
If you ruin our limo ride
to the airport, so help me...
Relax, baby.
Look what I got.
No. No.
I don't wanna look.
[gasps] Are those...
McHuggers. My game's
so tight I can't lose.
So Bruce!
How'd you get 'em?
It's a soccer ball.
I don't get it.
It's a thematically
camouflaged "ID bot"
programmed to find
the only person wearing
the McHuggers.
Still not getting it.
Find the McHuggers,
find the Ninja.
I love it.
ID bot, activate. Hmm?
You have to use this.
ID bot, activate.
- You gotta swipe it.
- I know that.
[beeping]
So you stole them
from McFist.
Took them from McFist.
It's totally different.
And you're missing the point.
With these sick shorts,
I'll own this 'tish.
It'll be you, me,
Kicks and the open road.
Is "'tish" short
for competition?
- Yeah. Too much?
- No, I like it.
Searching McHuggers.
Searching McHuggers.
- Not McHuggers.
- [Kickham] Goal!
You can do this.
You can block that shot.
[medical device beeps]
- Pain only lasts a second.
- [kicks ball]
- [Kickham] Goal!
- [patient moans]
- Limo rides to the airport
last ten minutes.
- [kicks]
- [Kickham] Goal!
- [groans]
Searching McHuggers.
Not McHuggers.
- [screaming]
- Searching McHuggers.
Not McHuggers.
Howard, do soccer
balls usually talk?
Don't know.
Not really a sports guy.
And why is it
trying to find McHuggers?
They don't go on sale
till tomorrow.
I mean, no one's
got them but me.
It's not looking for the shorts.
It's looking for the Ninja.
- Searching McHuggers.
Searching McHuggers.
- [both shout]
Take 'em off.
Take 'em off now!
McHuggers too tight,
hands stuck. [grunts]
[gasps]
[muttering] Tight shorts...
- S'up?
- Hey.
- You guys are idiots.
- I gotta get outta here.
[Slimovitz] Good news.
The medical staff informs me
there's enough bandages
and ice packs for one
final contestant.
Nobody?
[coughs]
All right, I guess
Pitch Kickham rides alone.
I may not be a sports guy.
But sweet cheese,
I am a limo guy.
Not McHuggers.
[panting] Ugh!
Doorknob need hands.
[beeps]
[grunting]
No!
No, no, no.
Searching McHuggers.
Searching McHuggers.
McHuggers found.
Pitch Kickham's the Ninja?
No, but he is
wearing McHuggers,
which is something
I had not considered.
You didn't "consider" that
the spokesperson for McHuggers
would be wearing McHuggers
when you created an unstoppable
McHugger-seeking robot?
[screaming]
Not your best plan,
Viceroy.
Don't you mean your plan?
Ho-ho!
Not this time, buddy.
Not this time.
[grunting]
This football's shooting
lasers at me.
[Slimovitz] Everyone relax.
When Mr. Kickham
says "football,"
he actually means
"soccer" ball.
Also, run!
Looks like I'm going
hands-free.
- Smoke bomb!
- [shouts]
Need a hand?
Actually,
you can't use your hands.
I know a lot of Americans
don't follow the game, but...
It's a figure
of speech, dude.
Whoa!
Ninja kick!
Why is that ball
so angry at me?
I don't know. Beats me.
Some questions have no answers.
That's what I've found.
What do you know?
The Ninja did show up.
- My plan worked.
- So it's your plan again.
It was always my plan.
- Ninja header!
- Ow!
Pitch Kickham scissor kick!
Ball!
You can do this, Howard.
This is your limo moment.
Block that shot.
Block that shot.
[crowd chanting]
Block that shot!
Block that shot!
Block that shot!
Block that shot!
- [shouts]
- Block that shot!
- Block that shot!
- Hmm?
- Huh?
- [cheering]
I did it.
I beat Kickham!
[shouts]
[crowd gasps]
What do I do?
Stop pointing it at stuff!
It's been an honor sharing
the pitch with you, Ninja.
You too, Pitch Kickham.
Is this
a Ninja thing?
Is that a Ninja thing?
Looks to me
like he's got his hands
stuck in his McHuggers.
Excellent.
This is the perfect
time for phase two.
Or plan B or whatever else
I got cooked up here.
I suppose you could
release your robo-hooligans.
[slurps]
Release
the robo-hooligans.
You have to swipe it.
Actually,
this one is a button.
- Then push it.
- [Ninja] Huh?
[Ninja] Uh-oh.
[laughs]
That's what happens
when you steal McHuggers.
All right. Stealing is stealing,
even if it's from my enemy.
Now how do I get my hands free?
Hey! So let's say
hypothetically my hands
were stuck in...
oh, I don't know,
a pair of McHuggers.
Any thoughts on how
I'd get them out?
- Hypothetically?
- No, actually.
Oh, there's a release lever
in the left-hand pocket.
Did you not read
the instructions
when you bought them?
I didn't exactly...
You know what?
Can we just fight?
[growling]
[Ninja grunting]
Yah, yah, yah!
[continues grunting]
Yah!
Ninja slice!
Wow. That was a lot
of hooligans.
Uh, Ninja.
Don't forget about them.
[crowd cheers]
Whoa! What do I do
with this thing?
Throw it in.
Ninja ID bot slice!
Yah!
I believe these belong to you.
- Ew!
- [Viceroy] That's nasty, baby.
Just think, Howard,
none of this
would've happened
if I hadn't endangered
international soccer superstar
Pitch Kickham's life.
Uh, actually, none of
this would've happened
if I hadn't caught
that ball.
Actually actually, none
of this would've happened
if I hadn't stolen
those McHuggers.
OK, so we're both heroes.
- Me more than you.
- What was that?
Yo, Kicks,
how long till the airport?
Five minutes.
Man, I love driving
these things.
Another McBubble Slam,
my good man?
Don't mind if I do.
¶ Norrisville Pet Park,
so honking fun ¶
¶ Ain't got no rules
except for this one ¶
¶ Gotta have a pet,
gotta have a pet ¶
¶ Gotta have a pet,
pet, pet, pet, pet ¶
¶ It's super exclusive,
you gotta have a pet ¶
¶ If you don't have a pet,
then you can't come in ¶¶
"No entry without a pet?"
So wonk!
If our parents would
have let us go splitsies
on a monkey,
we'd be ruling this pet park.
Guess we don't need
these anymore.
Our entire plan was
monkey contingent.
Contingent.
Now what are we
supposed to do?
[calliope music]
From the darkest jungles
of Detention Island,
McFreaks so McFreaky,
you'll McFreak.
Oh, man! There were
McFreaks on Detention Island?
We should get in trouble again
so we can go see 'em.
Or... and I'm just
saying "or,"
we could go
to the McFreak Show.
- Hmm?
- [both] McFreak Show!
- [both laughing]
- [man] Hey!
[both] Ooh!
It's the Brucest thing
I've ever seen.
Only because you haven't
looked over there.
[plays rock music]
I wonder if it
takes requests.
- Cunningham...
- No, I think it's
a set play list.
- Maybe if I threw it
a few bucks.
- Cunningham, look!
[gasps]
[Randy] "Barnabutt Jones."
I found
my spirit animal.
Ahh, taking the weekend off
from destroying the Ninja
is just what I needed.
My McStress level is
at an all-time low.
Plus, I came up with this
profitable McFreak Show.
Go me! [slurps]
So my plan to round up
the freaks from Detention Island
and exploit them
for money was your idea?
High-five, Viceroy.
One on one.
Two on two.
Come on, smack it, do it,
let's celebrate me.
Where you going?
I got a high-ten
with no one to smack it.
I'm going to give
the McFreaks their
dose of Aw Juice.
Of course, Aw Juice.
And that is...
[growls]
Yikes!
- [yelps]
- Aw Juice.
It stops the Gy-Yikes before
they become Gy-Yooos.
[laughs]
Really feeling
good about today.
I've seen many a Bruce
thing in my time,
- but Barnabutt Jones is...
- El Bru-chismo.
If we took him
to the pet park,
we could rub everyone's faces
in any of his four butts.
You're right.
I absolutely should use
my Ninja skills to spring him.
Yes, do that. Quick,
before the Nomico... Oh!
Right on cue.
Gonna have fun?
Not on my watch.
I hate you.
You hear me? Hate.
- Better see what it wants.
- [growls]
[Randy] "What is wild
should not be caged."
Wait. You're saying
that I should...
Because they're...
and I... Oh!
Nomicon, you are the cheese!
Well, go ahead.
Tell me how the Nomicon
shoobed us sideways.
It didn't.
It didn't shoob us any ways.
Wait, it said...
that you said...
because they're...
- And you're...
- That's exactly what I said.
Whoa, Viceroy,
what's the rush?
I was thinking you and me could
cruise down to PJ McFlubBusters,
have some laughs, like we're
a couple of regular shmoes.
When you don't
focus on the Ninja,
you are a totally
different person.
I don't even care what
old pajama-face is up to.
I called him pajama-face.
That's a first...
Oh!
- Mm-hm.
- [alarm blaring]
- [gasps]
- Intruder! Intruder!
Ninja shushing ball.
Or was that
a Ninja boom ball?
I gotta start labeling
these things.
Aww! You are
the cutest thing.
Let's get you outta here.
[sniffling]
[cries]
[Ninja] Hey, Howard.
Trains or cowboys?
What do you think?
I think we're going to
need a bigger bed.
[gasps]
What do you say?
Splitsies on four McFreaks?
Splitsies on four McFreaks.
¶ Alone together ¶
¶ That's how we used to be ¶
¶ Then we stole
these four McFreaks ¶
¶ Now we're a family ¶
- ¶ We have pets ¶
- [farting]
¶ Mom said no,
but her heart said yes ¶
¶ We stole pets ¶
- ¶ We set them free ¶
- [farts]
- ¶ To live in our garage ¶¶
- [laughing]
man] McFreaks was taped before
live studio audience.
I thought yesterday
was the best day ever.
But today is gonna be
yesterday 2.0.
The second we walk
through this gate,
everything changes.
- Are you ready?
- Let's do this.
¶ Oh, yeah, we got pets ¶
- ¶ At the pet park ¶
- [farts]
¶ We're here with our pets
at the pet park ¶
¶ Off the leash,
that's so cool ¶
- ¶ Oh, yeah ¶¶
- [farts]
Barnabutt,
you are Bruce-dorable.
[mutters]
- [snarling]
- [screams]
[chitters]
Aww, you need a kissy,
make boo-boo go bye-bye?
What a night.
Now I know what
PJ McFlubBusters means
by "Open Till Question Mark."
- Gy-Yikes!
- Why'd you "Gy-Yikes"?
- All of the McFreaks
have escaped.
- Gy-Yikes!
Ugh! I'm starting
to feel stress.
Then I probably
shouldn't tell you
that their Aw Juice
is about to wear off.
Why didn't you give it
to them earlier?
I would have
if somebody hadn't kept me
out till question mark.
G-Yooo.
Oh, in about 30 seconds,
G-Yooo can say that again.
[groans]
[screaming]
Why is that octo-bear
touching my bald cat?
Is it me or are the McFreaks
acting a little extra freaky?
[screeches]
Skee-BOO, man.
Skee-boo!
- What did you do?
- Me?! I've been sitting
next to you.
Yeah, but I didn't do anything,
so obviously you did.
This is what I get for
bringing an indoor goat
to an outdoor pet park.
- [snarls]
- [screams]
[engine turns over]
- [tires screech]
- That McFreak just
stole my car!
[whistles]
Things just took a turn
for the Ninja.
For the record,
I just wanted to split a monkey.
I'll meet you there.
If I were a McFreak loose
in the city, where would
I rampage?
Where would I rampage...
Ooh, I know.
I'd rampage at
PJ McFlubBusters.
Sir, our McFreaks
from our McFreak Show
are about to lay
waste to Norrisville,
and this is the only thing
that can stop them.
This is fun, you and me
chasing something that
isn't the Ninja.
[sighs] Man, I cannot
stop thinking about
those tater skins.
There they are!
[shouting]
Smoke bomb! McFreaks!
Stop this senseless shoobing.
You have to chill.
[roars]
Ninja dodge. Ninja dodge.
Bad 9-Armed Snake.
- Uh-oh.
- [growls]
Rondo, stop.
You don't want to do this.
None of you do.
You're good McFreaks.
Barnabutt, please,
anything as beautiful
as you can't be bad.
Talk to them.
They listen to you.
[farts]
[farting]
Thank you, freaks.
Now let's get you back in
that garage where you belong.
[McFist] You are property
of McFist Industries.
Come quietly or be shocked.
Great timing.
I just got them to calm down.
Mind if I "butt" in?
[laughs]
Because he's got all
these butts and...
I'm just gonna stab you now.
Yep, that hurt. Ow!
Sonic fart. Schnasty!
Aw, man!
I missed everything.
Stupid monkey bike.
[all moaning]
You have fun, McFreaks?
I hope so, because you're going
back in your cages forever.
Rondo, when we get home,
we're having a talk about
personal hygiene.
Ninja? Ninja!
The one weekend
I try not to catch the Ninja,
I catch the Ninja.
Get him!
[gasps]
- [growls]
- Ow! Oh.
Viceroy, Aw Juice the Freaks
then destroy the Ninja.
What the cheese
is Aw Juice?
It's the chemical
compound that keeps
the before from becoming
an after.
All right,
back in your cages.
"What is wild should
not be caged." [gasps]
Totally missed that.
I'm sorry, McFreaks.
I was no better than McFist.
You don't belong in cages
or in garages.
Garages? What's he
talking about, garages?
- Hiya!
- Ahh!
Ninja juice. Snatch!
How am I supposed have
a McFreak Show without
Aw Juice?
You're not.
No one is.
- [growling]
- [shouts]
- Anyone know how
to fly a hovercraft?
- [squawks]
[grunting]
The better question
would have been,
"Does anyone know how
to land a hovercraft?"
Listen, I was wrong
to keep you as pets.
You should be free.
Welcome back to Detention
Island, McFreaks.
[farts]
[laughs]
Barnabutt, come on, man.
I'm trying to make a moment.
You know what?
That was perfect.
I love you to death.
I can't top it.
Smoke bomb ya later.
- [fart]
- [rap music playing]
[camera shutter clicking]
¶ We buck it, we ride it ¶
¶ We bump in hoopties ¶
¶ You draw this?
Who, me? Uh! ¶
¶ Do it right, pizza party ¶
¶ Best friends forever ¶¶
¶ We have pets ¶
¶ Mom said no ¶
¶ But her heart said yes ¶
¶ We stole pets ¶
¶ We set them free ¶
¶ To live in our garage ¶¶
Chirp.
[Randy]
McHuggers too tight!
- [Randy] I was chosen
to protect my school
from the forces of evil.
I am the Ninja.
I am Randy Cunningham.
¶ Smoke bomb! ¶
[grunting]
Hi, I'm Pitch Kickham,
and your eyes are not
playing tricks on you.
My shorts are
incredibly snug.
You're welcome.
My game's so tight,
I can't lose.
Celebrate the launch
of the all-new McHuggers today
at the Pitch Kickham
Shoot Out Kicktacular.
If you can block my shot,
you and a friend will win
a dream trip with me,
Pitch Kickham, in a limo
to the airport.
McHuggers!
When you asked me
to hold your spot in line
for the Kicktacular,
you didn't say anything
about standing.
Have you tried leaning?
Hmm...
You just bought
yourself five minutes.
[grunts] Ninja snatch!
- [screaming]
- [glass shatters]
Now hurry up or I'm gonna
have to do this thing.
And doing things
ain't my thing.
- It's your thing.
- [beeps]
The Ninja is escaping.
Get up and capture him!
Hmm? Ninja sprint!
Yah!
No honkin' way!
McHuggers! They don't come
out till tomorrow. [gasps]
These make your game so
tight, you can't lose.
Yoink!
Those are tiny. How am I
supposed to put those on?
- [snarling]
- [crash]
The Ninja
stole my McHuggers!
Looks like we're
one short short. [laughs]
- [moans]
- Don't!
Nobody laugh.
Don't encourage him.
[snoring]
Let's make this quick,
NinjaNomicon.
I only got two
more stops. [gasps]
Whoa!
[snoring]
"A Ninja's hand is to give,
not to take."
Give? I'm not giving
McFist anything.
That guy's an evil shoob.
Hmm?
[snorts, growls]
- [snoring]
- [gasps]
Excuse me,
this is my stop, so...
[Slimovitz] Let's give a big
Norrisville welcome to...
Pitch Kickham!
[cheering]
Mr. Kickham, riding
in a limo with you has
been a lifelong goal.
Soccer zing!
- [winces]
- Goal!
[moans]
- [sighs]
- [giggles]
Sorry. Force of habit.
Who's next?
- [crickets chirping]
- [girl gulps]
Ugh! There you are.
Why are you all the way
at the end of the line?
I can lean,
or I can move up.
Turns out I'm a leaner.
What's with the street clothes?
You can't block
Kickham in streets.
If you ruin our limo ride
to the airport, so help me...
Relax, baby.
Look what I got.
No. No.
I don't wanna look.
[gasps] Are those...
McHuggers. My game's
so tight I can't lose.
So Bruce!
How'd you get 'em?
It's a soccer ball.
I don't get it.
It's a thematically
camouflaged "ID bot"
programmed to find
the only person wearing
the McHuggers.
Still not getting it.
Find the McHuggers,
find the Ninja.
I love it.
ID bot, activate. Hmm?
You have to use this.
ID bot, activate.
- You gotta swipe it.
- I know that.
[beeping]
So you stole them
from McFist.
Took them from McFist.
It's totally different.
And you're missing the point.
With these sick shorts,
I'll own this 'tish.
It'll be you, me,
Kicks and the open road.
Is "'tish" short
for competition?
- Yeah. Too much?
- No, I like it.
Searching McHuggers.
Searching McHuggers.
- Not McHuggers.
- [Kickham] Goal!
You can do this.
You can block that shot.
[medical device beeps]
- Pain only lasts a second.
- [kicks ball]
- [Kickham] Goal!
- [patient moans]
- Limo rides to the airport
last ten minutes.
- [kicks]
- [Kickham] Goal!
- [groans]
Searching McHuggers.
Not McHuggers.
- [screaming]
- Searching McHuggers.
Not McHuggers.
Howard, do soccer
balls usually talk?
Don't know.
Not really a sports guy.
And why is it
trying to find McHuggers?
They don't go on sale
till tomorrow.
I mean, no one's
got them but me.
It's not looking for the shorts.
It's looking for the Ninja.
- Searching McHuggers.
Searching McHuggers.
- [both shout]
Take 'em off.
Take 'em off now!
McHuggers too tight,
hands stuck. [grunts]
[gasps]
[muttering] Tight shorts...
- S'up?
- Hey.
- You guys are idiots.
- I gotta get outta here.
[Slimovitz] Good news.
The medical staff informs me
there's enough bandages
and ice packs for one
final contestant.
Nobody?
[coughs]
All right, I guess
Pitch Kickham rides alone.
I may not be a sports guy.
But sweet cheese,
I am a limo guy.
Not McHuggers.
[panting] Ugh!
Doorknob need hands.
[beeps]
[grunting]
No!
No, no, no.
Searching McHuggers.
Searching McHuggers.
McHuggers found.
Pitch Kickham's the Ninja?
No, but he is
wearing McHuggers,
which is something
I had not considered.
You didn't "consider" that
the spokesperson for McHuggers
would be wearing McHuggers
when you created an unstoppable
McHugger-seeking robot?
[screaming]
Not your best plan,
Viceroy.
Don't you mean your plan?
Ho-ho!
Not this time, buddy.
Not this time.
[grunting]
This football's shooting
lasers at me.
[Slimovitz] Everyone relax.
When Mr. Kickham
says "football,"
he actually means
"soccer" ball.
Also, run!
Looks like I'm going
hands-free.
- Smoke bomb!
- [shouts]
Need a hand?
Actually,
you can't use your hands.
I know a lot of Americans
don't follow the game, but...
It's a figure
of speech, dude.
Whoa!
Ninja kick!
Why is that ball
so angry at me?
I don't know. Beats me.
Some questions have no answers.
That's what I've found.
What do you know?
The Ninja did show up.
- My plan worked.
- So it's your plan again.
It was always my plan.
- Ninja header!
- Ow!
Pitch Kickham scissor kick!
Ball!
You can do this, Howard.
This is your limo moment.
Block that shot.
Block that shot.
[crowd chanting]
Block that shot!
Block that shot!
Block that shot!
Block that shot!
- [shouts]
- Block that shot!
- Block that shot!
- Hmm?
- Huh?
- [cheering]
I did it.
I beat Kickham!
[shouts]
[crowd gasps]
What do I do?
Stop pointing it at stuff!
It's been an honor sharing
the pitch with you, Ninja.
You too, Pitch Kickham.
Is this
a Ninja thing?
Is that a Ninja thing?
Looks to me
like he's got his hands
stuck in his McHuggers.
Excellent.
This is the perfect
time for phase two.
Or plan B or whatever else
I got cooked up here.
I suppose you could
release your robo-hooligans.
[slurps]
Release
the robo-hooligans.
You have to swipe it.
Actually,
this one is a button.
- Then push it.
- [Ninja] Huh?
[Ninja] Uh-oh.
[laughs]
That's what happens
when you steal McHuggers.
All right. Stealing is stealing,
even if it's from my enemy.
Now how do I get my hands free?
Hey! So let's say
hypothetically my hands
were stuck in...
oh, I don't know,
a pair of McHuggers.
Any thoughts on how
I'd get them out?
- Hypothetically?
- No, actually.
Oh, there's a release lever
in the left-hand pocket.
Did you not read
the instructions
when you bought them?
I didn't exactly...
You know what?
Can we just fight?
[growling]
[Ninja grunting]
Yah, yah, yah!
[continues grunting]
Yah!
Ninja slice!
Wow. That was a lot
of hooligans.
Uh, Ninja.
Don't forget about them.
[crowd cheers]
Whoa! What do I do
with this thing?
Throw it in.
Ninja ID bot slice!
Yah!
I believe these belong to you.
- Ew!
- [Viceroy] That's nasty, baby.
Just think, Howard,
none of this
would've happened
if I hadn't endangered
international soccer superstar
Pitch Kickham's life.
Uh, actually, none of
this would've happened
if I hadn't caught
that ball.
Actually actually, none
of this would've happened
if I hadn't stolen
those McHuggers.
OK, so we're both heroes.
- Me more than you.
- What was that?
Yo, Kicks,
how long till the airport?
Five minutes.
Man, I love driving
these things.
Another McBubble Slam,
my good man?
Don't mind if I do.
¶ Norrisville Pet Park,
so honking fun ¶
¶ Ain't got no rules
except for this one ¶
¶ Gotta have a pet,
gotta have a pet ¶
¶ Gotta have a pet,
pet, pet, pet, pet ¶
¶ It's super exclusive,
you gotta have a pet ¶
¶ If you don't have a pet,
then you can't come in ¶¶
"No entry without a pet?"
So wonk!
If our parents would
have let us go splitsies
on a monkey,
we'd be ruling this pet park.
Guess we don't need
these anymore.
Our entire plan was
monkey contingent.
Contingent.
Now what are we
supposed to do?
[calliope music]
From the darkest jungles
of Detention Island,
McFreaks so McFreaky,
you'll McFreak.
Oh, man! There were
McFreaks on Detention Island?
We should get in trouble again
so we can go see 'em.
Or... and I'm just
saying "or,"
we could go
to the McFreak Show.
- Hmm?
- [both] McFreak Show!
- [both laughing]
- [man] Hey!
[both] Ooh!
It's the Brucest thing
I've ever seen.
Only because you haven't
looked over there.
[plays rock music]
I wonder if it
takes requests.
- Cunningham...
- No, I think it's
a set play list.
- Maybe if I threw it
a few bucks.
- Cunningham, look!
[gasps]
[Randy] "Barnabutt Jones."
I found
my spirit animal.
Ahh, taking the weekend off
from destroying the Ninja
is just what I needed.
My McStress level is
at an all-time low.
Plus, I came up with this
profitable McFreak Show.
Go me! [slurps]
So my plan to round up
the freaks from Detention Island
and exploit them
for money was your idea?
High-five, Viceroy.
One on one.
Two on two.
Come on, smack it, do it,
let's celebrate me.
Where you going?
I got a high-ten
with no one to smack it.
I'm going to give
the McFreaks their
dose of Aw Juice.
Of course, Aw Juice.
And that is...
[growls]
Yikes!
- [yelps]
- Aw Juice.
It stops the Gy-Yikes before
they become Gy-Yooos.
[laughs]
Really feeling
good about today.
I've seen many a Bruce
thing in my time,
- but Barnabutt Jones is...
- El Bru-chismo.
If we took him
to the pet park,
we could rub everyone's faces
in any of his four butts.
You're right.
I absolutely should use
my Ninja skills to spring him.
Yes, do that. Quick,
before the Nomico... Oh!
Right on cue.
Gonna have fun?
Not on my watch.
I hate you.
You hear me? Hate.
- Better see what it wants.
- [growls]
[Randy] "What is wild
should not be caged."
Wait. You're saying
that I should...
Because they're...
and I... Oh!
Nomicon, you are the cheese!
Well, go ahead.
Tell me how the Nomicon
shoobed us sideways.
It didn't.
It didn't shoob us any ways.
Wait, it said...
that you said...
because they're...
- And you're...
- That's exactly what I said.
Whoa, Viceroy,
what's the rush?
I was thinking you and me could
cruise down to PJ McFlubBusters,
have some laughs, like we're
a couple of regular shmoes.
When you don't
focus on the Ninja,
you are a totally
different person.
I don't even care what
old pajama-face is up to.
I called him pajama-face.
That's a first...
Oh!
- Mm-hm.
- [alarm blaring]
- [gasps]
- Intruder! Intruder!
Ninja shushing ball.
Or was that
a Ninja boom ball?
I gotta start labeling
these things.
Aww! You are
the cutest thing.
Let's get you outta here.
[sniffling]
[cries]
[Ninja] Hey, Howard.
Trains or cowboys?
What do you think?
I think we're going to
need a bigger bed.
[gasps]
What do you say?
Splitsies on four McFreaks?
Splitsies on four McFreaks.
¶ Alone together ¶
¶ That's how we used to be ¶
¶ Then we stole
these four McFreaks ¶
¶ Now we're a family ¶
- ¶ We have pets ¶
- [farting]
¶ Mom said no,
but her heart said yes ¶
¶ We stole pets ¶
- ¶ We set them free ¶
- [farts]
- ¶ To live in our garage ¶¶
- [laughing]
man] McFreaks was taped before
live studio audience.
I thought yesterday
was the best day ever.
But today is gonna be
yesterday 2.0.
The second we walk
through this gate,
everything changes.
- Are you ready?
- Let's do this.
¶ Oh, yeah, we got pets ¶
- ¶ At the pet park ¶
- [farts]
¶ We're here with our pets
at the pet park ¶
¶ Off the leash,
that's so cool ¶
- ¶ Oh, yeah ¶¶
- [farts]
Barnabutt,
you are Bruce-dorable.
[mutters]
- [snarling]
- [screams]
[chitters]
Aww, you need a kissy,
make boo-boo go bye-bye?
What a night.
Now I know what
PJ McFlubBusters means
by "Open Till Question Mark."
- Gy-Yikes!
- Why'd you "Gy-Yikes"?
- All of the McFreaks
have escaped.
- Gy-Yikes!
Ugh! I'm starting
to feel stress.
Then I probably
shouldn't tell you
that their Aw Juice
is about to wear off.
Why didn't you give it
to them earlier?
I would have
if somebody hadn't kept me
out till question mark.
G-Yooo.
Oh, in about 30 seconds,
G-Yooo can say that again.
[groans]
[screaming]
Why is that octo-bear
touching my bald cat?
Is it me or are the McFreaks
acting a little extra freaky?
[screeches]
Skee-BOO, man.
Skee-boo!
- What did you do?
- Me?! I've been sitting
next to you.
Yeah, but I didn't do anything,
so obviously you did.
This is what I get for
bringing an indoor goat
to an outdoor pet park.
- [snarls]
- [screams]
[engine turns over]
- [tires screech]
- That McFreak just
stole my car!
[whistles]
Things just took a turn
for the Ninja.
For the record,
I just wanted to split a monkey.
I'll meet you there.
If I were a McFreak loose
in the city, where would
I rampage?
Where would I rampage...
Ooh, I know.
I'd rampage at
PJ McFlubBusters.
Sir, our McFreaks
from our McFreak Show
are about to lay
waste to Norrisville,
and this is the only thing
that can stop them.
This is fun, you and me
chasing something that
isn't the Ninja.
[sighs] Man, I cannot
stop thinking about
those tater skins.
There they are!
[shouting]
Smoke bomb! McFreaks!
Stop this senseless shoobing.
You have to chill.
[roars]
Ninja dodge. Ninja dodge.
Bad 9-Armed Snake.
- Uh-oh.
- [growls]
Rondo, stop.
You don't want to do this.
None of you do.
You're good McFreaks.
Barnabutt, please,
anything as beautiful
as you can't be bad.
Talk to them.
They listen to you.
[farts]
[farting]
Thank you, freaks.
Now let's get you back in
that garage where you belong.
[McFist] You are property
of McFist Industries.
Come quietly or be shocked.
Great timing.
I just got them to calm down.
Mind if I "butt" in?
[laughs]
Because he's got all
these butts and...
I'm just gonna stab you now.
Yep, that hurt. Ow!
Sonic fart. Schnasty!
Aw, man!
I missed everything.
Stupid monkey bike.
[all moaning]
You have fun, McFreaks?
I hope so, because you're going
back in your cages forever.
Rondo, when we get home,
we're having a talk about
personal hygiene.
Ninja? Ninja!
The one weekend
I try not to catch the Ninja,
I catch the Ninja.
Get him!
[gasps]
- [growls]
- Ow! Oh.
Viceroy, Aw Juice the Freaks
then destroy the Ninja.
What the cheese
is Aw Juice?
It's the chemical
compound that keeps
the before from becoming
an after.
All right,
back in your cages.
"What is wild should
not be caged." [gasps]
Totally missed that.
I'm sorry, McFreaks.
I was no better than McFist.
You don't belong in cages
or in garages.
Garages? What's he
talking about, garages?
- Hiya!
- Ahh!
Ninja juice. Snatch!
How am I supposed have
a McFreak Show without
Aw Juice?
You're not.
No one is.
- [growling]
- [shouts]
- Anyone know how
to fly a hovercraft?
- [squawks]
[grunting]
The better question
would have been,
"Does anyone know how
to land a hovercraft?"
Listen, I was wrong
to keep you as pets.
You should be free.
Welcome back to Detention
Island, McFreaks.
[farts]
[laughs]
Barnabutt, come on, man.
I'm trying to make a moment.
You know what?
That was perfect.
I love you to death.
I can't top it.
Smoke bomb ya later.
- [fart]
- [rap music playing]
[camera shutter clicking]
¶ We buck it, we ride it ¶
¶ We bump in hoopties ¶
¶ You draw this?
Who, me? Uh! ¶
¶ Do it right, pizza party ¶
¶ Best friends forever ¶¶
¶ We have pets ¶
¶ Mom said no ¶
¶ But her heart said yes ¶
¶ We stole pets ¶
¶ We set them free ¶
¶ To live in our garage ¶¶
Chirp.
[Randy]
McHuggers too tight!