Random Acts of Flyness (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 4 - Episode #2.4 - full transcript
Therapist: So... do you
experience her as real?
(mesmerizing music playing)
I guess it depends on
what you mean by "real."
In the "do my senses
perceive her to exist
on the 6 sense plane
of 'reality' we are on?"
Yes... she's a real person.
- Especially with my daughters.
- Celine4: Especially with my daughters.
Both: Her resistance
to them is real.
She loves me deeply
a-and wants me to win.
But she also wants
others to lose.
Like... Terence...
Xavier, Jana ya...
Doreen... sometimes
- people on the internet.
- Preteen Najja: People on the internet.
But... they be
wrong a lot.
(distorted):
So she be right a lot.
She's... clever...
um, and, sometimes I can
see her from a distance.
And from that distance,
she kinda looks like...
- my grandmother.
- Nine-year-old Najja: Grandmother, like.
Sorta like a...
- a hater.
- Nine-year-old Najja: Just a hater.
At the end of the day,
she's...
self-righteous.
Like she's never been wrong.
Not once, a day in her life.
Anyway, uh, I've taken
to callin' her Celine.
[♪ ♪]
Aunt Denise: You live
in the third dimension.
Your three-dimensional reality
requires use
of the fourth dimension,
time, to move through.
For example,
in order to move
your body across the room,
you have to take
a second or two.
So what would
your life be like
if you lived
in the fourth dimension
instead of the third?
Well, to your
third-dimensional friends,
you would appear to be
quite dynamic and strange.
To those third-dimensionals,
you would appear
at a variety of moments
on your fourth-dimensional
timeline.
You see, you would
be able to choose
what age you incarnate as
moment-to-moment,
just as you can
theoretically choose
where to place your
three-dimensional body.
If you lived in
the fourth dimension,
you would appear
to your friends and family
to be any age
you choose to be.
That is, if you tend
to your body spirit
and exercise control
of your consciousness.
In order to travel through the
fourth dimension to time travel,
you'll need to move through
the fifth dimension,
parallel timelines,
many versions of you
- each with their own...
- Najja: Each with their own unique ritual.
We gotta do somethin' to send these
kids back to where they came from.
- (baby babbles)
- I suck out...
and discard...
the eccentric artist...
mad scientist
archetype when...
used as a pretext
to excuse lateness,
disorganization...
and general
unreliability.
(Terence slurps)
(baby fussing)
Najja:
I release and discard...
(softly):
Fuck.
Reget...
Regretting choosing...
mother...
No... not yet.
God, not now.
Older Terence:
I release savior hood...
and victim hood.
And the concept of myself
as capable...
of rescuing... you from...
all that you
work through and with.
I release the fear...
that I'll grow to be alone
like my grandmother.
I release the need
to know and control
exactly how the beings
in my body move,
incarnate, live, be, et cetera.
(baby fussing)
But, God... I don't
want these girls now.
I'll give you control
and you just take them back
to where they came from,
for now.
But definitely in the future.
Just not now... please.
Singer: Take two.
"If I Had a Little Love."
(sings)
♪ If I had a little love ♪
- ♪ I could make it ♪
- Singers: ♪ I could make it ♪
Singer: ♪ Every time I try ♪
♪ Something's
standin' in my waaay ♪
♪ I believe, I believe ♪
♪ If I had a little love ♪
- ♪ I could make it ♪
- Singers: ♪ I could make it ♪
Singer:
♪ So I keep on looking ♪
♪ Hopin' for a better day ♪
(song ends)
Hey, what's up?
Najja (on phone):
Hey, can you come right quick?
- Right now?
- You haven't landed on the plantation yet, right?
Something you did with
the music is causing a bug
and I need to know
exactly how you did it,
so I can revisit it
and, and fix it.
And I need to do it now because
Glorious is selling the house.
Terence:
Wh... Wait, wait.
- Your mother's selling your house?
- Yes.
How's that possible? I thought
Willie Mae left you the house.
I'll tell you more
in detail when you get here,
but in short,
she said...
since I'm healing
from shame, silence,
and somethin' else
that started with a "S,"
- she said, um...
- We need to be...
rid of this house,
to complete what you started,
to finish what you so...
generously and
beautifully initiated.
This is our
initiation, Jaja.
I told you not
to call me that.
That's your name
for your sister.
We're not
on that anymore.
My dear daughter...
(chuckles)
It was your prayer
that invited me
to do the mending
of this wound I have.
I've never been as
inspired as I was by you.
I saw it was uncomfortable
for you to bring forth the truth
and you met that
discomfort with presence.
Willie Mae, she
inherited a lot of shame.
My mother
was running from a war.
She blamed herself
for the pregnancy.
But this will release the
shame that this house holds.
That's her shame...
not ours.
Singer:
♪ If I had a little love ♪
- ♪ I could make it ♪
- Singers: ♪ I could make it ♪
Singer: ♪ So I keep on ♪ - Terence
(on phone): Damn, baby, I'm so sorry.
I told you not to call
me "baby" anymore.
- We're not...
- My bad, my bad. Force of habit.
I'll be more mindful
next time.
Okay. Uh, can you
get here, though?
I don't want you to be
here late in the night.
I'll only be here for a few
more days until I have to leave
and then I won't have
a place to work,
- so I need to get this done now.
- Mm-hm. Um...
(ambient nature sounds)
Najja:
Terence... are you coming?
Terence:
Okay... Yeah, aight.
I'll be there. I can come.
Najja: She also said that
since I'm inheriting a lot of land
- that I don't need the house.
- Terence: That's wild.
You never even been there.
She gonna go back with you?
Najja:
Glorious in Liberia?
Terence: She might come.
You always talkin' 'bout goin'.
It's probably a portal opening
disguised as one closing.
Plus, I know how you are.
You release things quick.
- Oh, is the window unlocked?
- Najja: Oh.
Fuck, Terence... God.
How many times I told you
stop goin' so fast?
How am I supposed
to fix this?
Don't mind me.
I'm not injured at all.
- Everything's fine.
- Yeah, it seems obvious
'cause you're not
visibly impaired.
- Do you feel free?
- What?
With the house, you
released it. Does it feel free?
- (wind blowing)
- (window creaks)
It look fine to me.
It was just fuckin' up,
but now that you're here,
it's actin' different.
- Mm-hm. Yeah.
- It is!
It's that
observer shit.
This is... The observer
changes... the, uh, waves
and then the particles
settle the fifth dimension
into the fourth.
Somethin' like that.
Mm-hm. Thank you.
I gotta bounce.
[♪ ♪]
(downbeat music playing)
♪ I date boys who
fully on that boy shit ♪
♪ On that infantile ♪
♪ Protect you
from the world shit ♪
♪ I need it, that leash shit,
more than I admit it ♪
♪ Niggas also gotta make
a home my dad neglected ♪
♪ It's hectic, that's why I need
a nigga that's protective ♪
♪ Don't come at me
with no corrective ♪
♪ Tryna activate my
pleasure on submission ♪
♪ But only in sections ♪
♪ First section will be
binary selection ♪
♪ In which you
play the labyrinth ♪
♪ And the walls
and the provider of ♪
♪ The aforementioned
protection ♪
♪ I play the backseat
navigator givin' out ♪
♪ All the pertinent directions ♪
♪ You better follow
directions, it's hectic ♪
(rattling)
Ted Chiang: When we think
about what we want from free will...
Yeah, we want to, I think,
to some extent, we want to...
deserve credit for
the good decisions we make
and deserve the blame
for the bad decisions we make.
And... some of that
will arise out of our
process of deliberation.
The factors that go into
our process of deliberation
are everything that
we have experienced
in our (echoes) life.
And I think a, a materialist,
physicalist universe
provides you
with what you want
because your, your decision
is the result
of your life experience
- being processed through...
- Speaker: Divination.
Which, as our ancestor
Malidoma Somé has said,
there are many types of.
One that he made me familiar
with, using cowrie shells,
where the client
moves the shell
in a specific direction
and inscribes them
with their own energy.
And in this way,
the person is inscribing
on the spirit world
the unread story that
is written on themselves.
Thus allowing the diviner
to read the story back to them.
Malidoma Somé: We need to
continually send an SOS to the other world,
so that they can intervene.
And we have to recognize...
that we shouldn't have
taken this matter
into our own exclusive hands.
That we should have
started by telling them
to actually
take care of it for us.
We just have to say it
out loud to them...
and wait for their answer.
The question is,
"How do we invent or recreate
"or even remember these ritual,
so that we can get on with
what we are here to accomplish?"
You sabotaged the game.
Terence:
Najja, you literally prayed.
Like you... you said
the prayer out loud.
You said... "I pray that
our work becomes sentient."
Do you know
what a prayer is?
This is ex...
You're takin' this
spiritual shit too far!
This is exactly what I mean
by spiritual by-passing
and fetishizing
spirit work shit.
Yes, we prayed.
That doesn't mean
that I put...
a virus in the updates
you made.
You did that.
Fuckin' take
responsibility for it.
Me praying does not
rewrite the C++.
In addition
to your prayer,
you were in a rush,
you were coding,
then you were rushing
to your mother's birthday
in order to...
work on yourself,
on your spiritual work,
remember?
And I-I'm not
sayin' that
in order to absolve myself
of any responsibility,
'cause as I've said
many times...
after you left,
I continued to work.
All I'm sayin',
all I'm ever sayin'...
is that in the wake
of me takin' responsibility
for all my shit,
for my part...
in messin' up your game,
for me being on
that savior thing,
for me, as well,
moving too fast...
for me obsessing
over new things...
for buildin' those shrines
around the house outta shit
you know I don't
totally use.
I acknowledge
all the above.
But despite that...
you're most interested
in deleting... key parts
of what, in real life,
happened.
And you're doin' that...
in order to craft this
narrative whose moral is,
"Terence intentionally
harmed Najja."
Because you need me...
to be an unrepentant
villain in your story.
You need... "bad
nigga Terence" to be...
the Terence.
And you need that more
than you need any kind
of easeful, platonic,
you know... creative.
And I know it's off the table, but
even a romantic connection with me,
you need...
"bad nigga Terence,
the saboteur."
You'd rather have "bad
nigga Terence, the saboteur,"
than a friend.
And I-I d...
I don't know this nigga.
I d... I don't know
this negligent,
harmful nigga.
Your obsession with him
just makes me...
disinterested...
in being in any kinda
connection with you at all.
(echoing)
Connection with you...
Despite all that
accountability,
Najja Freeman is
most interested in...
deleting key parts of
what in real life happened.
And you gotta do that
because you gotta craft
this narrative
whose moral is,
"Terence intentionally harmed
Najja," and you need that
- unrepentant villain outta me. You need "bad nigga Terence."
- Najja: Okay. Okay, yes.
(distorted): This is what
it's like to be in a relationship
with someone who, um,
is working towards
healing their traumas,
which is...
Which traumas?
Traumas...
Traumas...
Traumas... Traumas...
(voice deepens): Traumas...
Traumas... Traumas...
Does your wound, Celine,
support your ritual practice?
She isn't into that.
She's judgmental.
Not mostly.
She's mostly supportive.
She's, uh...
dynamic...
and a vivacious being,
she gasses me...
Therapist:
What I'm saying, Najja,
is ultimately, whose
responsibility is it to track
your wounds'
manifestations?
You've spoken
quite candidly
about it being
your responsibility.
And given
that your wound
expresses itself
in ambivalence,
sometimes
judgment and shaming,
sometimes
this wound provides...
moral support.
So what I'm asking...
is can you hear
how it might be
not possible
for Terence...
to track your wounds'
expressions
and orient himself,
given both your
ambivalence and his wounds
in relationship to your
indulgence
of this ambivalence?
Najja: Difficult.
Yes.
I'm sure.
So...
in this moment
which, for you, is the real...
you?
Najja... or the wound?
(distorted): I guess it
depends on what you mean
by (echoing) real,
real, real, real...
(repeating) Real...
(discordant music plays)
Is that how you all often get
through these activations?
With an intervention
involving plants and water?
That's why it's, uh, hard when
we're not in the same place.
That and a few
other things.
The kids thing
is a big one.
Therapist: Right. The
situation with your mother...
brings you all
to a tenuous relationship...
when it comes
to the possibility of
caring for children together.
That and the fact
that this nigga
not gon' eat my pussy
after our fifth child.
So you gon' eat this pussy
after our fifth child?
Like a champ.
No, you're not.
You're gonna have
to wait and see.
No, like...
ceremonially eat it.
Like, there is nothing
present at the task at hand
except for my vulva
and your responsibility to her.
Mm-hm.
I'll strive for progress,
not perfection.
Seriously, Terence.
You get fascinated
with whatever,
whoever is new,
and after kid five,
this pussy is
not gonna be new.
Terence: You gon' gimme some
of that swamp thing after child five?
Najja: God, no.
First of all, it's a gift,
not an entitlement.
Second, you don't like it
when I give you head anyway,
and you still haven't
healed that sensitivity thing
because you're not doin'
your spiritual work.
- So, why would I spend my time down there?
- Okay.
You kinda do this thing
where you... check out
and do the "I'm here,
but not here" moans.
I know your moans.
With that said, I would fuck
you like I love you after kid five.
Even if it's a possibility
that I don't like you, which...
is possible because,
clearly, liking you bores me,
but... loving you, clearly,
- I can't not do.
- That's exactly what I'm talk in 'bout.
That love me,
but don't like me thing.
That's why I'm renaming
"bad nigga Terrance" Vernon.
'Cause when you're not talkin'
to me, you talkin' to your daddy,
- you talkin' to your father. We have different wounds.
- Najja: See? My father?
We both cute,
we look the same,
but we, we have different
wounds. And also...
Najja: You literally fly
away on a daily basis.
- That's the fatalistic thing about the thing.
- What you expect?
Like, this is why it worked
when we were younger,
and it'll probably work
when we get older.
But now, I...
That's, um...
Terence the sage.
That's sagely Terence.
- Yeah, I like that.
- You like that?
Mm-hm.
That's probably
the most...
attuned insight
you've had in a while.
- Mm-hm.
- Terence: Mm.
But no...
you're not
the therapist.
Are you the therapist?
- No, she's the therapist.
- Therapist: Mmm. (Chuckles)
And this is why I don't
bring things forward
because you're always
pathologizing me.
I'm just sayin'
that, like,
we just had to bring
out the sacred water
and do
the da-da-da-da-da-da.
You still over here lettin'
the green goblin talk for you.
- Well, let her live.
- Is she real?
In the "do my senses
perceive her to exist
on the 6 sense plane
of 'reality' we are on?"
Yes... she's a real person.
Anyway, uh,
(distorted): I have taken
to calling her Celine.
("Don't Keep It to Yourself"
by Ruthven playing)
[♪ ♪]
Science Tutor: Quantum physics
tells us that the subatomic particles
that make up our world
are collapsed from
waves of probability
simply by the act
of observation.
In the picture we are
drawing for ourselves here,
we can now start to see
how each of us are collapsing
the indeterminate wave
of probable futures
contained in
the fifth dimension
into the fourth-dimensional
line
that we are experiencing
as time.
♪ You're unpredictable,
you keep me guessin' ♪
♪ Guessin' ♪
♪ They can never learn ♪
♪ I want you,
you want me too, yeah ♪
♪ Not sure that they'll
ever really get it ♪
♪ So should we go
to yours or mine ♪
♪ If we're honestly talking,
we're gonna find... out ♪
♪ About each other ♪
♪ Baby, if we keep on lyin' ♪
♪ 'Bout what we want ♪
♪ Our rhythm can't
keep in time, yeah ♪
♪ Darling, don't you keep
it to yourself no more... ♪
And we have been
a culture that has
over-valorized romantic love
that no matter how
horrible and miserable
your life has been
as a kid or as a teenager,
someday you're
gonna find this love,
and it's gonna
come into your life,
and it's gonna
change all of that.
And many of us found
that that was not so.
And I think a lot of men felt
that one day they'll grow up
and they'll be humanized
by a woman or, or a, a
partner giving them love,
rather than thinking
about what will it mean...
What will it take for me
to become a loving person?
Let's revisit our
cohabitation situation.
- I need assistance.
- No, we not doin' that.
Terence...
I know it feels
real healed
to set boundaries
and, and...
- Yo.
- ...for us to not live together,
but this is you running when
it's difficult by another name.
This is overly
rigid boundaries.
Thank you for your
diagnosis, Dr. Freeman.
I appreciate that.
Yo, how about we could
get in your DeLorean
and we can pull up,
go back in time
- right to the moment I was wounded...
- (laughs) Okay.
...and I'll jump out...
and I'll fix myself.
I don't have a place.
I am doin' what I need
to do right now to heal.
We have time.
We have time.
(upbeat piano music playing)
Can you not...
fly away in front of me?
♪ Still have to try ♪
♪ Don't want to
let myself down ♪
♪ Work hard, no fun ♪
♪ Ain't how the left
and right brain play ♪
♪ I got 123 days
to bring it together ♪
♪ In harmony ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ It's the pressure ♪
♪ Cortisol engaged ♪
♪ Rushin' through
my veins and I'm lost ♪
♪ It'll get you ♪
♪ Cursin' at yourself
or worse ♪
♪ It's somebody
that you love ♪
(music echoes, repeats)
- (air horn sounds)
- Najja: What's that?
- Terence: That what?
- That rabbit.
I didn't build it.
Did y...
- You don't know how to do that.
- Where?
- Seems to be per mutated...
- Mm.
- ...from these lines...
- Mm-hm.
Through, uh, between...
437 and 6,000.
- Mm.
- Fuck. We'll never find it.
We're not gon'
fix it like this.
Let's make a fire.
Ask for help.
Send a SOS
to the other world.
(light music playing)
(ambient nature sounds)
(bodies chattering)
[♪ ♪]
(singer vocalizing)
[♪ ♪]
I release my fear
of this wounded part of me
and I ask my ori for guidance
to pick me up
in this moment in time
and put me down
at whatever moment I need
to fully
understand this wound
and understand it
enough to...
- (phone ringing)
- Najja: Hello?
Person (on phone): Ah,
Najja, great. You picked up.
I'm sure your mother told you
your great uncle Simeon
- died last week.
- No, I-I'm so sorry.
Speaker: No, it's fine. He
lived a very long, full life.
All is well.
I'm calling to tell you
that his farmland
in the north is willed to you.
Let me know as soon as you
can what you'd like to do with it.
Of, of course.
Can I call you back?
Speaker:
Yes. God bless.
Terence (on phone):
Hey, baby, what's up?
I have an idea.
A place all our own
where we can
finish the game.
(wind blows) - Terence: I
was thinkin' the same thing.
Najja:
It's a lot of land.
Terence: Okay, how 'bout
this? I'll come back and get you
- and we'll go together.
- Najja: We'll go together.
Both:
Glad you finally made it home.
Vocalizing...
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Outta time ♪
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Outta time ♪
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Outta time ♪
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Outta time ♪
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Into time ♪
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Into time ♪
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Into time ♪
♪ Running ♪
♪ Into time ♪
♪ Mmm, time ♪
♪ Mmm, time ♪
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Outta time ♪
♪ I was running ♪
experience her as real?
(mesmerizing music playing)
I guess it depends on
what you mean by "real."
In the "do my senses
perceive her to exist
on the 6 sense plane
of 'reality' we are on?"
Yes... she's a real person.
- Especially with my daughters.
- Celine4: Especially with my daughters.
Both: Her resistance
to them is real.
She loves me deeply
a-and wants me to win.
But she also wants
others to lose.
Like... Terence...
Xavier, Jana ya...
Doreen... sometimes
- people on the internet.
- Preteen Najja: People on the internet.
But... they be
wrong a lot.
(distorted):
So she be right a lot.
She's... clever...
um, and, sometimes I can
see her from a distance.
And from that distance,
she kinda looks like...
- my grandmother.
- Nine-year-old Najja: Grandmother, like.
Sorta like a...
- a hater.
- Nine-year-old Najja: Just a hater.
At the end of the day,
she's...
self-righteous.
Like she's never been wrong.
Not once, a day in her life.
Anyway, uh, I've taken
to callin' her Celine.
[♪ ♪]
Aunt Denise: You live
in the third dimension.
Your three-dimensional reality
requires use
of the fourth dimension,
time, to move through.
For example,
in order to move
your body across the room,
you have to take
a second or two.
So what would
your life be like
if you lived
in the fourth dimension
instead of the third?
Well, to your
third-dimensional friends,
you would appear to be
quite dynamic and strange.
To those third-dimensionals,
you would appear
at a variety of moments
on your fourth-dimensional
timeline.
You see, you would
be able to choose
what age you incarnate as
moment-to-moment,
just as you can
theoretically choose
where to place your
three-dimensional body.
If you lived in
the fourth dimension,
you would appear
to your friends and family
to be any age
you choose to be.
That is, if you tend
to your body spirit
and exercise control
of your consciousness.
In order to travel through the
fourth dimension to time travel,
you'll need to move through
the fifth dimension,
parallel timelines,
many versions of you
- each with their own...
- Najja: Each with their own unique ritual.
We gotta do somethin' to send these
kids back to where they came from.
- (baby babbles)
- I suck out...
and discard...
the eccentric artist...
mad scientist
archetype when...
used as a pretext
to excuse lateness,
disorganization...
and general
unreliability.
(Terence slurps)
(baby fussing)
Najja:
I release and discard...
(softly):
Fuck.
Reget...
Regretting choosing...
mother...
No... not yet.
God, not now.
Older Terence:
I release savior hood...
and victim hood.
And the concept of myself
as capable...
of rescuing... you from...
all that you
work through and with.
I release the fear...
that I'll grow to be alone
like my grandmother.
I release the need
to know and control
exactly how the beings
in my body move,
incarnate, live, be, et cetera.
(baby fussing)
But, God... I don't
want these girls now.
I'll give you control
and you just take them back
to where they came from,
for now.
But definitely in the future.
Just not now... please.
Singer: Take two.
"If I Had a Little Love."
(sings)
♪ If I had a little love ♪
- ♪ I could make it ♪
- Singers: ♪ I could make it ♪
Singer: ♪ Every time I try ♪
♪ Something's
standin' in my waaay ♪
♪ I believe, I believe ♪
♪ If I had a little love ♪
- ♪ I could make it ♪
- Singers: ♪ I could make it ♪
Singer:
♪ So I keep on looking ♪
♪ Hopin' for a better day ♪
(song ends)
Hey, what's up?
Najja (on phone):
Hey, can you come right quick?
- Right now?
- You haven't landed on the plantation yet, right?
Something you did with
the music is causing a bug
and I need to know
exactly how you did it,
so I can revisit it
and, and fix it.
And I need to do it now because
Glorious is selling the house.
Terence:
Wh... Wait, wait.
- Your mother's selling your house?
- Yes.
How's that possible? I thought
Willie Mae left you the house.
I'll tell you more
in detail when you get here,
but in short,
she said...
since I'm healing
from shame, silence,
and somethin' else
that started with a "S,"
- she said, um...
- We need to be...
rid of this house,
to complete what you started,
to finish what you so...
generously and
beautifully initiated.
This is our
initiation, Jaja.
I told you not
to call me that.
That's your name
for your sister.
We're not
on that anymore.
My dear daughter...
(chuckles)
It was your prayer
that invited me
to do the mending
of this wound I have.
I've never been as
inspired as I was by you.
I saw it was uncomfortable
for you to bring forth the truth
and you met that
discomfort with presence.
Willie Mae, she
inherited a lot of shame.
My mother
was running from a war.
She blamed herself
for the pregnancy.
But this will release the
shame that this house holds.
That's her shame...
not ours.
Singer:
♪ If I had a little love ♪
- ♪ I could make it ♪
- Singers: ♪ I could make it ♪
Singer: ♪ So I keep on ♪ - Terence
(on phone): Damn, baby, I'm so sorry.
I told you not to call
me "baby" anymore.
- We're not...
- My bad, my bad. Force of habit.
I'll be more mindful
next time.
Okay. Uh, can you
get here, though?
I don't want you to be
here late in the night.
I'll only be here for a few
more days until I have to leave
and then I won't have
a place to work,
- so I need to get this done now.
- Mm-hm. Um...
(ambient nature sounds)
Najja:
Terence... are you coming?
Terence:
Okay... Yeah, aight.
I'll be there. I can come.
Najja: She also said that
since I'm inheriting a lot of land
- that I don't need the house.
- Terence: That's wild.
You never even been there.
She gonna go back with you?
Najja:
Glorious in Liberia?
Terence: She might come.
You always talkin' 'bout goin'.
It's probably a portal opening
disguised as one closing.
Plus, I know how you are.
You release things quick.
- Oh, is the window unlocked?
- Najja: Oh.
Fuck, Terence... God.
How many times I told you
stop goin' so fast?
How am I supposed
to fix this?
Don't mind me.
I'm not injured at all.
- Everything's fine.
- Yeah, it seems obvious
'cause you're not
visibly impaired.
- Do you feel free?
- What?
With the house, you
released it. Does it feel free?
- (wind blowing)
- (window creaks)
It look fine to me.
It was just fuckin' up,
but now that you're here,
it's actin' different.
- Mm-hm. Yeah.
- It is!
It's that
observer shit.
This is... The observer
changes... the, uh, waves
and then the particles
settle the fifth dimension
into the fourth.
Somethin' like that.
Mm-hm. Thank you.
I gotta bounce.
[♪ ♪]
(downbeat music playing)
♪ I date boys who
fully on that boy shit ♪
♪ On that infantile ♪
♪ Protect you
from the world shit ♪
♪ I need it, that leash shit,
more than I admit it ♪
♪ Niggas also gotta make
a home my dad neglected ♪
♪ It's hectic, that's why I need
a nigga that's protective ♪
♪ Don't come at me
with no corrective ♪
♪ Tryna activate my
pleasure on submission ♪
♪ But only in sections ♪
♪ First section will be
binary selection ♪
♪ In which you
play the labyrinth ♪
♪ And the walls
and the provider of ♪
♪ The aforementioned
protection ♪
♪ I play the backseat
navigator givin' out ♪
♪ All the pertinent directions ♪
♪ You better follow
directions, it's hectic ♪
(rattling)
Ted Chiang: When we think
about what we want from free will...
Yeah, we want to, I think,
to some extent, we want to...
deserve credit for
the good decisions we make
and deserve the blame
for the bad decisions we make.
And... some of that
will arise out of our
process of deliberation.
The factors that go into
our process of deliberation
are everything that
we have experienced
in our (echoes) life.
And I think a, a materialist,
physicalist universe
provides you
with what you want
because your, your decision
is the result
of your life experience
- being processed through...
- Speaker: Divination.
Which, as our ancestor
Malidoma Somé has said,
there are many types of.
One that he made me familiar
with, using cowrie shells,
where the client
moves the shell
in a specific direction
and inscribes them
with their own energy.
And in this way,
the person is inscribing
on the spirit world
the unread story that
is written on themselves.
Thus allowing the diviner
to read the story back to them.
Malidoma Somé: We need to
continually send an SOS to the other world,
so that they can intervene.
And we have to recognize...
that we shouldn't have
taken this matter
into our own exclusive hands.
That we should have
started by telling them
to actually
take care of it for us.
We just have to say it
out loud to them...
and wait for their answer.
The question is,
"How do we invent or recreate
"or even remember these ritual,
so that we can get on with
what we are here to accomplish?"
You sabotaged the game.
Terence:
Najja, you literally prayed.
Like you... you said
the prayer out loud.
You said... "I pray that
our work becomes sentient."
Do you know
what a prayer is?
This is ex...
You're takin' this
spiritual shit too far!
This is exactly what I mean
by spiritual by-passing
and fetishizing
spirit work shit.
Yes, we prayed.
That doesn't mean
that I put...
a virus in the updates
you made.
You did that.
Fuckin' take
responsibility for it.
Me praying does not
rewrite the C++.
In addition
to your prayer,
you were in a rush,
you were coding,
then you were rushing
to your mother's birthday
in order to...
work on yourself,
on your spiritual work,
remember?
And I-I'm not
sayin' that
in order to absolve myself
of any responsibility,
'cause as I've said
many times...
after you left,
I continued to work.
All I'm sayin',
all I'm ever sayin'...
is that in the wake
of me takin' responsibility
for all my shit,
for my part...
in messin' up your game,
for me being on
that savior thing,
for me, as well,
moving too fast...
for me obsessing
over new things...
for buildin' those shrines
around the house outta shit
you know I don't
totally use.
I acknowledge
all the above.
But despite that...
you're most interested
in deleting... key parts
of what, in real life,
happened.
And you're doin' that...
in order to craft this
narrative whose moral is,
"Terence intentionally
harmed Najja."
Because you need me...
to be an unrepentant
villain in your story.
You need... "bad
nigga Terence" to be...
the Terence.
And you need that more
than you need any kind
of easeful, platonic,
you know... creative.
And I know it's off the table, but
even a romantic connection with me,
you need...
"bad nigga Terence,
the saboteur."
You'd rather have "bad
nigga Terence, the saboteur,"
than a friend.
And I-I d...
I don't know this nigga.
I d... I don't know
this negligent,
harmful nigga.
Your obsession with him
just makes me...
disinterested...
in being in any kinda
connection with you at all.
(echoing)
Connection with you...
Despite all that
accountability,
Najja Freeman is
most interested in...
deleting key parts of
what in real life happened.
And you gotta do that
because you gotta craft
this narrative
whose moral is,
"Terence intentionally harmed
Najja," and you need that
- unrepentant villain outta me. You need "bad nigga Terence."
- Najja: Okay. Okay, yes.
(distorted): This is what
it's like to be in a relationship
with someone who, um,
is working towards
healing their traumas,
which is...
Which traumas?
Traumas...
Traumas...
Traumas... Traumas...
(voice deepens): Traumas...
Traumas... Traumas...
Does your wound, Celine,
support your ritual practice?
She isn't into that.
She's judgmental.
Not mostly.
She's mostly supportive.
She's, uh...
dynamic...
and a vivacious being,
she gasses me...
Therapist:
What I'm saying, Najja,
is ultimately, whose
responsibility is it to track
your wounds'
manifestations?
You've spoken
quite candidly
about it being
your responsibility.
And given
that your wound
expresses itself
in ambivalence,
sometimes
judgment and shaming,
sometimes
this wound provides...
moral support.
So what I'm asking...
is can you hear
how it might be
not possible
for Terence...
to track your wounds'
expressions
and orient himself,
given both your
ambivalence and his wounds
in relationship to your
indulgence
of this ambivalence?
Najja: Difficult.
Yes.
I'm sure.
So...
in this moment
which, for you, is the real...
you?
Najja... or the wound?
(distorted): I guess it
depends on what you mean
by (echoing) real,
real, real, real...
(repeating) Real...
(discordant music plays)
Is that how you all often get
through these activations?
With an intervention
involving plants and water?
That's why it's, uh, hard when
we're not in the same place.
That and a few
other things.
The kids thing
is a big one.
Therapist: Right. The
situation with your mother...
brings you all
to a tenuous relationship...
when it comes
to the possibility of
caring for children together.
That and the fact
that this nigga
not gon' eat my pussy
after our fifth child.
So you gon' eat this pussy
after our fifth child?
Like a champ.
No, you're not.
You're gonna have
to wait and see.
No, like...
ceremonially eat it.
Like, there is nothing
present at the task at hand
except for my vulva
and your responsibility to her.
Mm-hm.
I'll strive for progress,
not perfection.
Seriously, Terence.
You get fascinated
with whatever,
whoever is new,
and after kid five,
this pussy is
not gonna be new.
Terence: You gon' gimme some
of that swamp thing after child five?
Najja: God, no.
First of all, it's a gift,
not an entitlement.
Second, you don't like it
when I give you head anyway,
and you still haven't
healed that sensitivity thing
because you're not doin'
your spiritual work.
- So, why would I spend my time down there?
- Okay.
You kinda do this thing
where you... check out
and do the "I'm here,
but not here" moans.
I know your moans.
With that said, I would fuck
you like I love you after kid five.
Even if it's a possibility
that I don't like you, which...
is possible because,
clearly, liking you bores me,
but... loving you, clearly,
- I can't not do.
- That's exactly what I'm talk in 'bout.
That love me,
but don't like me thing.
That's why I'm renaming
"bad nigga Terrance" Vernon.
'Cause when you're not talkin'
to me, you talkin' to your daddy,
- you talkin' to your father. We have different wounds.
- Najja: See? My father?
We both cute,
we look the same,
but we, we have different
wounds. And also...
Najja: You literally fly
away on a daily basis.
- That's the fatalistic thing about the thing.
- What you expect?
Like, this is why it worked
when we were younger,
and it'll probably work
when we get older.
But now, I...
That's, um...
Terence the sage.
That's sagely Terence.
- Yeah, I like that.
- You like that?
Mm-hm.
That's probably
the most...
attuned insight
you've had in a while.
- Mm-hm.
- Terence: Mm.
But no...
you're not
the therapist.
Are you the therapist?
- No, she's the therapist.
- Therapist: Mmm. (Chuckles)
And this is why I don't
bring things forward
because you're always
pathologizing me.
I'm just sayin'
that, like,
we just had to bring
out the sacred water
and do
the da-da-da-da-da-da.
You still over here lettin'
the green goblin talk for you.
- Well, let her live.
- Is she real?
In the "do my senses
perceive her to exist
on the 6 sense plane
of 'reality' we are on?"
Yes... she's a real person.
Anyway, uh,
(distorted): I have taken
to calling her Celine.
("Don't Keep It to Yourself"
by Ruthven playing)
[♪ ♪]
Science Tutor: Quantum physics
tells us that the subatomic particles
that make up our world
are collapsed from
waves of probability
simply by the act
of observation.
In the picture we are
drawing for ourselves here,
we can now start to see
how each of us are collapsing
the indeterminate wave
of probable futures
contained in
the fifth dimension
into the fourth-dimensional
line
that we are experiencing
as time.
♪ You're unpredictable,
you keep me guessin' ♪
♪ Guessin' ♪
♪ They can never learn ♪
♪ I want you,
you want me too, yeah ♪
♪ Not sure that they'll
ever really get it ♪
♪ So should we go
to yours or mine ♪
♪ If we're honestly talking,
we're gonna find... out ♪
♪ About each other ♪
♪ Baby, if we keep on lyin' ♪
♪ 'Bout what we want ♪
♪ Our rhythm can't
keep in time, yeah ♪
♪ Darling, don't you keep
it to yourself no more... ♪
And we have been
a culture that has
over-valorized romantic love
that no matter how
horrible and miserable
your life has been
as a kid or as a teenager,
someday you're
gonna find this love,
and it's gonna
come into your life,
and it's gonna
change all of that.
And many of us found
that that was not so.
And I think a lot of men felt
that one day they'll grow up
and they'll be humanized
by a woman or, or a, a
partner giving them love,
rather than thinking
about what will it mean...
What will it take for me
to become a loving person?
Let's revisit our
cohabitation situation.
- I need assistance.
- No, we not doin' that.
Terence...
I know it feels
real healed
to set boundaries
and, and...
- Yo.
- ...for us to not live together,
but this is you running when
it's difficult by another name.
This is overly
rigid boundaries.
Thank you for your
diagnosis, Dr. Freeman.
I appreciate that.
Yo, how about we could
get in your DeLorean
and we can pull up,
go back in time
- right to the moment I was wounded...
- (laughs) Okay.
...and I'll jump out...
and I'll fix myself.
I don't have a place.
I am doin' what I need
to do right now to heal.
We have time.
We have time.
(upbeat piano music playing)
Can you not...
fly away in front of me?
♪ Still have to try ♪
♪ Don't want to
let myself down ♪
♪ Work hard, no fun ♪
♪ Ain't how the left
and right brain play ♪
♪ I got 123 days
to bring it together ♪
♪ In harmony ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ It's the pressure ♪
♪ Cortisol engaged ♪
♪ Rushin' through
my veins and I'm lost ♪
♪ It'll get you ♪
♪ Cursin' at yourself
or worse ♪
♪ It's somebody
that you love ♪
(music echoes, repeats)
- (air horn sounds)
- Najja: What's that?
- Terence: That what?
- That rabbit.
I didn't build it.
Did y...
- You don't know how to do that.
- Where?
- Seems to be per mutated...
- Mm.
- ...from these lines...
- Mm-hm.
Through, uh, between...
437 and 6,000.
- Mm.
- Fuck. We'll never find it.
We're not gon'
fix it like this.
Let's make a fire.
Ask for help.
Send a SOS
to the other world.
(light music playing)
(ambient nature sounds)
(bodies chattering)
[♪ ♪]
(singer vocalizing)
[♪ ♪]
I release my fear
of this wounded part of me
and I ask my ori for guidance
to pick me up
in this moment in time
and put me down
at whatever moment I need
to fully
understand this wound
and understand it
enough to...
- (phone ringing)
- Najja: Hello?
Person (on phone): Ah,
Najja, great. You picked up.
I'm sure your mother told you
your great uncle Simeon
- died last week.
- No, I-I'm so sorry.
Speaker: No, it's fine. He
lived a very long, full life.
All is well.
I'm calling to tell you
that his farmland
in the north is willed to you.
Let me know as soon as you
can what you'd like to do with it.
Of, of course.
Can I call you back?
Speaker:
Yes. God bless.
Terence (on phone):
Hey, baby, what's up?
I have an idea.
A place all our own
where we can
finish the game.
(wind blows) - Terence: I
was thinkin' the same thing.
Najja:
It's a lot of land.
Terence: Okay, how 'bout
this? I'll come back and get you
- and we'll go together.
- Najja: We'll go together.
Both:
Glad you finally made it home.
Vocalizing...
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Outta time ♪
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Outta time ♪
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Outta time ♪
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Outta time ♪
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Into time ♪
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Into time ♪
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Into time ♪
♪ Running ♪
♪ Into time ♪
♪ Mmm, time ♪
♪ Mmm, time ♪
♪ I was running ♪
♪ Outta time ♪
♪ I was running ♪