Raised by Wolves (2013–2016): Season 1, Episode 6 - The Dorch - full transcript
Germaine is thrilled to hear that Lee Rhind is on the market again after a split from Cathy and discovers that he is going to the Dorchester night club. Della consents to her going - provided she takes Yoko, whose dancing is a hit, and Aretha. However having been mistaken for a prostitute and realizing that she is irresistible to men Germaine ditches Lee whilst Della's night out with Michael proves positive, in that they are both scavengers from supermarket waste bins. On returning home though the whole family is in for a shock.
Morning, cockers.
Morning, Grampy.
This is your inheritance from
Great-Gramma Joanna, such as it is.
This seems a bit paltry, Grampy.
I've deducted Grampy's corkage,
of course.
Plus a little for expenses... petrol
money and sundries.
Right, I'm gonna pop over
to your cousin Cath-Cath's
later on with her spondoolicks.
Her and that lad went tits up so
she's in a bit of a state, apparently.
Excuse-me-what-was-that-excuse-me
what?
I'll play her some Marley.
Old Bob knew the score.
♪ No woman no cry... ♪
Cathy and Lee split up?
Ay. Dat dey did.
Oh, my God! Yes!
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
This is it! It's over!
Cathy's heart is smashed! Yes!
Taste it, Cathy. Taste it! USA!
USA!
USA!
Right. Let's see.
Yes! Lee's status - going to
the Dorch tonight to get twanted.
What's "twanted"?
Allow him one typo. God!
He's only just come out of
a three-week relationship.
Do you know what this means?
Lee, single and twanted, is going
clubbing at the Dorch tonight.
This is my chance to claim him.
To the Dorchester!
- No!
- Just give it, then!
No. It's mine!
Why didn't you give
me their share, Dad?
Sorry, Del. I'm an old-school
socialist.
Redistribution of wealth at source.
Oh, if that's your mom,
tell her I'm moving on with me life.
Mention Babs at the Red Lion.
No, it's that bloke from the party.
The one with the truck.
He wants to take me out.
Truck, eh? He sounds
right up your alley.
Indeed. I like a man who can
handle a long wheelbase.
Mum, can I go to a nightclub
tonight?
You're underage, Germaine.
What nightclub?
The Dorchester.
Hmm. That is a good nightclub.
But you are underage.
Physically, yeah. Legally, sure.
But mentally, I'm like an old woman
or something.
You know, wise and shit.
You know what?
I don't see why you can't take
yourself out for an evening.
It'll mature you.
Underage clubbing was
the making of me.
If I hadn't vomited my guts up
on cheap cider night after night
and been punched hard in the tit
by a Goth in a mosh pit,
I wouldn't be the woman I am today.
Thanks, Mum!
There are conditions, of course.
I want you to take Yoko.
Sure, whatever. I have literally no
opinion on Yoko coming. Yoko Shmoko.
She's there, she's not. Whatever.
And you have to take Aretha.
What? No! Mum, come on.
Aretha's boring...
Sensible. She'll stop
you being a dick.
Stop me having fun, you mean.
Or you can stay in and change
the oil in the deep-fat fryer.
Taxi for Germaine!
Will you look after the little ones
tonight if I go out with that bloke?
All this talk of cider and tits
has brought me
round to the going for a drive idea.
I'll leave you a tinned steak and
ale pie and Philomena on DVD.
Dench and a Bentos?
Sounds like pure heaven, Del.
Hey, old pal-o-mine. I've brought
you a long, tall glass of cola.
What d'you say,
you and me going out tonight?
To the Dorchester.
My plan for this evening is to have a
bath and watch Dan Cruickshank's
Adventures In Architecture.
Yeah, but we could, you know, bond.
Get to know each other better.
I know more than enough about you,
Germaine.
Remember that time
I smelt you on a towel?
OK, please, Aretha.
Lee is going to be there.
My sexual destiny is at stake here.
I can't do this without you.
All for one and one for all!
And Lee for me.
The all don't want to go to
the Dorchester, Germaine.
So the one is just going to have to
deal with that.
No, this isn't the one for all bit -
this is the all for one bit.
You're the all. I'm the one.
£20. Cash upfront.
This is it. This is going to be the
best night ever.
It's gonna be like all my favourite
films - Breakfast At Tiffany's.
Pretty Woman. The Moulin Rouge.
You do know all of those films
are about prostitutes?
Right, then, makeover time.
Yoko, you're up first.
Go on, up on that chair.
Hmm. Good teeth. Firm rump.
Oh, my God. Look at this.
These are like proper woman legs.
Like off the telly!
We need to get these out,
make good use of these.
I'm going to give this
skirt a haircut.
♪ Sexy, everything about you,
so sexy... ♪
Oops, careful, better not cut
any of the precious thigh meat.
# You don't even
know what you've got
# You're really hitting my spot
♪ Oh, yeah. ♪
Bog's free!
Right. That's Yoko done.
What about you, Aretha?
I've got an outfit picked out.
Can you leave the room
so I can get changed, please?
Can't I stay and watch? We could
bond over comparing our bodies.
Germaine, you will never see my body.
I swear this with God as my witness.
But what if we've got the same bum?
Has that never occurred to you?
We'll never know.
Not even I have seen myself naked.
Now get out.
Oh, Mum,
are you going out tonight too?
Yep. I'm going out with a man.
What? On a date?
No, not a "date".
That is a marketing term
and I will not have you using it.
And you're wearing that?
Yep.
But that's what you always wear.
And there's a reason for that.
This is a very carefully
constructed outfit.
This outfit is frigging honed.
Please let me give you a makeover!
No.
I will die before I let you put me
in some acrylic blouse
and pencil skirt and tell me
to "flaunt my curves".
This is an arse, not a curve.
I'm going for a fag now.
If a baby-faced hardman with
eyes like lasers comes to the door,
let your grandad get it.
If he can't handle Grampy
there's no point starting.
Aretha, why haven't you got changed?
Why is no-one getting changed?
We're going out.
If you look closely enough you will
see that I have indeed changed.
You can't wear a jumper to a nightclub,
Aretha. That is not day to night.
If I continue to wear it to the
night, it is exactly that.
But you have to get changed.
Or it's not a makeover.
It's just a... sameover.
I didn't know you could
choose a sameover.
Evening.
That your van?
Aye.
Bodywork's in good nick.
You've got a good eye.
I can barely see the wheel nuts
at this distance.
I'm very intuitive about rust.
I'm Robert, by the way.
Why don't you call me Bob?
Michael.
But you can call me Mike, I guess.
Welcome to the Pleasuredome, Mike.
This is Michael,
he's here to squire your mother.
- Hello again.
- We've already met.
Jesus, Germaine.
Will you stop sexually harassing
everything you come into contact with?
I can't help it. The world is hot!
Now then, Mikey boy.
Talk to me about brake pipes.
Half fare to town, please.
Half fare?
Don't think so, love.
I'm 15. It's a child fare.
You don't look 15 to me.
Well, that's an oppressive
statement.
Fine. I will pay you adult fare.
But I will do it the hard way...
in shrapnel.
Rue on that, dude.
Hey, Yoko?
I'm going to ask you something.
If you looked like Grampy from
behind, would you want to know?
So, Della,
how do you feel about restaurants?
Between me and you, big fella,
I'll just feel resentful
paying £12 for some pasta.
I can feed two kids
for a week on that.
Plus, the rate I smoke you'll spend
most of the night watching me
stand outside, chuffing.
Fair play.
We could go down the big Tesco.
The marked-down stuff
comes out any minute.
Do you fancy eating a fuck-ton
of borderline scotch eggs
in the car park?
I am very partial to cheap food.
It's a good half an hour
to there from here though.
I'll put my foot down, then.
So, Top Gear. You got any music?
Right. One more practice,
then we're going in.
Yoko, what year were you born? 1997.
Good. Is my name the same?
Yeah. I'm scared.
Just remember this, Yoko -
they can't see inside your mind, OK?
Don't you think it's a bit
suspicious that three people
with variations on the same face
all claim to have been born in 1997?
He's a bouncer -
not a man of science.
He won't work that out. Now, come on.
Evening, ladies.
Don't you want to
know my birth year?
Is it 1997?
Yes! It's always 1997, love.
It's always 1997...
Park there.
In that smaller space?
This is a big wagon.
I reckon you can get it in there,
if you try.
All right,
but it is quite tight, Della.
Yes, it is.
Looks like it just fits.
Nicely parked.
And so it begins...
As Shakespeare said, "It is
not in the stars to hold our destiny
"but in ourselves."
Right, let's dump our stuff
and get some cheap cider.
There's a pub down the road
if you fancy a pint.
Nice pub - not a murder pub.
Let's keep driving.
Unless you've had enough?
I've got a full tank
and a cheap rotisserie chicken.
I can go all night, kiddo.
Hmm.
So we're just staying here
all night?
Yup. It is now nine o'clock -
we have to stay here until 2am.
That's a full five hours of this.
I think that's what
the alcohol is for.
A chip? Someone threw a chip...
Who would throw a chip in a... Lee!
Look at him, getting twanted...
I'm going up there. Come on!
Lions led by donkeys.
Just, erm... returning your chip.
Yes, Gruffalo!
All right, Tits.
Tits?
Whoa! Tits has got legs!
Aretha, Yoko's legs have backfired.
Lee's so twanted,
he doesn't seem to realise
that it's Yoko on top of them.
The creation of a monster
always backfires on the creator,
Germaine...
If you'd have just read Frankenstein
when I recommended it to you,
none of this would have happened.
What are you doing, Germaine?
No way.
Are you lezzing your own sister?
Why? Would you like that?
You are lezzing off.
Wicked! Yo, Callum,
pass your phone, pass your phone!
Let me see, let me see.
If you two were hotter,
this would be amazing.
Yoko, I'm really sorry but I'm going
to have to get off with you.
It's what the public want.
No! Germaine! Sh.
Don't worry, it won't take long and
I'm pretty sure I'm a good kisser.
Yes! Go on.
No incest, Germaine!
Ah, you struck me!
It was quicker than exorcising you.
Do you like it in reverse?
Yeah, I like it in reverse.
She was just using you as a prop,
Yoko.
She doesn't actually find you
attractive. Does that help?
All right! I didn't know you two
were coming out tonight.
Yep, we're having a rare old time.
By which I mean an infrequent one.
Was that Germaine I just saw
leaving? She's gone?
Yup, Elvis has left the building.
Elvis is pretty upset.
I slapped Elvis.
Elvis tried to kiss me.
No way. You guys really go for it
when you go out. Respect.
Cathy, are you planning to
reconcile with Lee Rhind tonight?
If you mean am I going to
tongue him on the balcony,
show him what he's missing,
then, yeah.
OK, would you consider refraining
from doing that, just for tonight?
Soz, man. No can do.
A plan is a plan.
Oh, this is my number.
Got to go to twerk.
I'm going to break the
prime directive of Star Trek, Yoko.
I'm going to take action to change
the course of an alien culture.
I have a plan.
How much?
Excuse me?
You, erm... looking for trade?
Like a market?
Like a prostitute.
Prostitute?
Never mind. Never mind.
Have a good night, cock. Ta-ra.
Prostitute?!
Right. We're on a tight schedule.
You need to neutralise Cathy.
I'm going to psychologically
manipulate Lee Rhind.
I expect to have completed
this in under two minutes.
Neutralise Cathy?
Do it! Go! Neutralise, neutralise,
neutralise...
Good evening.
What is the best form of alcohol,
on a cost to incapacitation ratio?
Drink all of those.
Yeah, all right.
Neutralise, neutralise, neutralise.
Oh, hi, Yokes.
Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
My frigging shoe! Yoko! Yoko!
Elvis! Yoko, something incredible's
just happened to me!
A little less conversation,
a little more action!
We need to find Aretha!
Aretha, you will never guess
what's just...
Look, Lee is as suggestible
as he will ever be.
This is your chance.
No, Aretha. I don't want to.
He's not appealing to me any more.
Listen, something happened to me
outside.
A man offered to pay me for sex.
That's horrible.
No, it's great. Don't you see?
Men will pay me for sex.
And all I want to do is
get off with them for free.
I misunderstood the
sexual marketplace. Do you see?
I'm going to try something.
Get off with me? Yeah, all right.
Oh, my God! Did you see that?
You can just turn it on and off.
It's like a tap!
I don't need an unconscious Lee.
I can get off with live men.
After I've finished your chips, I'll
think about getting back with you.
Fitness!
I'm getting my suspension tuned
next week.
The ride will be even smoother.
I'll call you, hot rod.
Oh, Grampy, it was funny...
A man mistook me for a prostitute
and offered to pay me for sex!
We've all been there, Germaine.
Aye-aye, Del Amitri.
How was the tryst?
He took me to Rugeley and back.
Did he mention
when he might do my brake pipes?
Mum, I got off with four boys!
My jaw is literally
sore from all the snogging.
Oh, that's a relief.
Living with you's been like
having a horny gorilla in the house.
I'm constantly worried I'll come
home to find you humping the fridge.
What the...?
Who the frig is that?
Dad. Dad. Dad.
Fuck.
Morning, Grampy.
This is your inheritance from
Great-Gramma Joanna, such as it is.
This seems a bit paltry, Grampy.
I've deducted Grampy's corkage,
of course.
Plus a little for expenses... petrol
money and sundries.
Right, I'm gonna pop over
to your cousin Cath-Cath's
later on with her spondoolicks.
Her and that lad went tits up so
she's in a bit of a state, apparently.
Excuse-me-what-was-that-excuse-me
what?
I'll play her some Marley.
Old Bob knew the score.
♪ No woman no cry... ♪
Cathy and Lee split up?
Ay. Dat dey did.
Oh, my God! Yes!
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
This is it! It's over!
Cathy's heart is smashed! Yes!
Taste it, Cathy. Taste it! USA!
USA!
USA!
Right. Let's see.
Yes! Lee's status - going to
the Dorch tonight to get twanted.
What's "twanted"?
Allow him one typo. God!
He's only just come out of
a three-week relationship.
Do you know what this means?
Lee, single and twanted, is going
clubbing at the Dorch tonight.
This is my chance to claim him.
To the Dorchester!
- No!
- Just give it, then!
No. It's mine!
Why didn't you give
me their share, Dad?
Sorry, Del. I'm an old-school
socialist.
Redistribution of wealth at source.
Oh, if that's your mom,
tell her I'm moving on with me life.
Mention Babs at the Red Lion.
No, it's that bloke from the party.
The one with the truck.
He wants to take me out.
Truck, eh? He sounds
right up your alley.
Indeed. I like a man who can
handle a long wheelbase.
Mum, can I go to a nightclub
tonight?
You're underage, Germaine.
What nightclub?
The Dorchester.
Hmm. That is a good nightclub.
But you are underage.
Physically, yeah. Legally, sure.
But mentally, I'm like an old woman
or something.
You know, wise and shit.
You know what?
I don't see why you can't take
yourself out for an evening.
It'll mature you.
Underage clubbing was
the making of me.
If I hadn't vomited my guts up
on cheap cider night after night
and been punched hard in the tit
by a Goth in a mosh pit,
I wouldn't be the woman I am today.
Thanks, Mum!
There are conditions, of course.
I want you to take Yoko.
Sure, whatever. I have literally no
opinion on Yoko coming. Yoko Shmoko.
She's there, she's not. Whatever.
And you have to take Aretha.
What? No! Mum, come on.
Aretha's boring...
Sensible. She'll stop
you being a dick.
Stop me having fun, you mean.
Or you can stay in and change
the oil in the deep-fat fryer.
Taxi for Germaine!
Will you look after the little ones
tonight if I go out with that bloke?
All this talk of cider and tits
has brought me
round to the going for a drive idea.
I'll leave you a tinned steak and
ale pie and Philomena on DVD.
Dench and a Bentos?
Sounds like pure heaven, Del.
Hey, old pal-o-mine. I've brought
you a long, tall glass of cola.
What d'you say,
you and me going out tonight?
To the Dorchester.
My plan for this evening is to have a
bath and watch Dan Cruickshank's
Adventures In Architecture.
Yeah, but we could, you know, bond.
Get to know each other better.
I know more than enough about you,
Germaine.
Remember that time
I smelt you on a towel?
OK, please, Aretha.
Lee is going to be there.
My sexual destiny is at stake here.
I can't do this without you.
All for one and one for all!
And Lee for me.
The all don't want to go to
the Dorchester, Germaine.
So the one is just going to have to
deal with that.
No, this isn't the one for all bit -
this is the all for one bit.
You're the all. I'm the one.
£20. Cash upfront.
This is it. This is going to be the
best night ever.
It's gonna be like all my favourite
films - Breakfast At Tiffany's.
Pretty Woman. The Moulin Rouge.
You do know all of those films
are about prostitutes?
Right, then, makeover time.
Yoko, you're up first.
Go on, up on that chair.
Hmm. Good teeth. Firm rump.
Oh, my God. Look at this.
These are like proper woman legs.
Like off the telly!
We need to get these out,
make good use of these.
I'm going to give this
skirt a haircut.
♪ Sexy, everything about you,
so sexy... ♪
Oops, careful, better not cut
any of the precious thigh meat.
# You don't even
know what you've got
# You're really hitting my spot
♪ Oh, yeah. ♪
Bog's free!
Right. That's Yoko done.
What about you, Aretha?
I've got an outfit picked out.
Can you leave the room
so I can get changed, please?
Can't I stay and watch? We could
bond over comparing our bodies.
Germaine, you will never see my body.
I swear this with God as my witness.
But what if we've got the same bum?
Has that never occurred to you?
We'll never know.
Not even I have seen myself naked.
Now get out.
Oh, Mum,
are you going out tonight too?
Yep. I'm going out with a man.
What? On a date?
No, not a "date".
That is a marketing term
and I will not have you using it.
And you're wearing that?
Yep.
But that's what you always wear.
And there's a reason for that.
This is a very carefully
constructed outfit.
This outfit is frigging honed.
Please let me give you a makeover!
No.
I will die before I let you put me
in some acrylic blouse
and pencil skirt and tell me
to "flaunt my curves".
This is an arse, not a curve.
I'm going for a fag now.
If a baby-faced hardman with
eyes like lasers comes to the door,
let your grandad get it.
If he can't handle Grampy
there's no point starting.
Aretha, why haven't you got changed?
Why is no-one getting changed?
We're going out.
If you look closely enough you will
see that I have indeed changed.
You can't wear a jumper to a nightclub,
Aretha. That is not day to night.
If I continue to wear it to the
night, it is exactly that.
But you have to get changed.
Or it's not a makeover.
It's just a... sameover.
I didn't know you could
choose a sameover.
Evening.
That your van?
Aye.
Bodywork's in good nick.
You've got a good eye.
I can barely see the wheel nuts
at this distance.
I'm very intuitive about rust.
I'm Robert, by the way.
Why don't you call me Bob?
Michael.
But you can call me Mike, I guess.
Welcome to the Pleasuredome, Mike.
This is Michael,
he's here to squire your mother.
- Hello again.
- We've already met.
Jesus, Germaine.
Will you stop sexually harassing
everything you come into contact with?
I can't help it. The world is hot!
Now then, Mikey boy.
Talk to me about brake pipes.
Half fare to town, please.
Half fare?
Don't think so, love.
I'm 15. It's a child fare.
You don't look 15 to me.
Well, that's an oppressive
statement.
Fine. I will pay you adult fare.
But I will do it the hard way...
in shrapnel.
Rue on that, dude.
Hey, Yoko?
I'm going to ask you something.
If you looked like Grampy from
behind, would you want to know?
So, Della,
how do you feel about restaurants?
Between me and you, big fella,
I'll just feel resentful
paying £12 for some pasta.
I can feed two kids
for a week on that.
Plus, the rate I smoke you'll spend
most of the night watching me
stand outside, chuffing.
Fair play.
We could go down the big Tesco.
The marked-down stuff
comes out any minute.
Do you fancy eating a fuck-ton
of borderline scotch eggs
in the car park?
I am very partial to cheap food.
It's a good half an hour
to there from here though.
I'll put my foot down, then.
So, Top Gear. You got any music?
Right. One more practice,
then we're going in.
Yoko, what year were you born? 1997.
Good. Is my name the same?
Yeah. I'm scared.
Just remember this, Yoko -
they can't see inside your mind, OK?
Don't you think it's a bit
suspicious that three people
with variations on the same face
all claim to have been born in 1997?
He's a bouncer -
not a man of science.
He won't work that out. Now, come on.
Evening, ladies.
Don't you want to
know my birth year?
Is it 1997?
Yes! It's always 1997, love.
It's always 1997...
Park there.
In that smaller space?
This is a big wagon.
I reckon you can get it in there,
if you try.
All right,
but it is quite tight, Della.
Yes, it is.
Looks like it just fits.
Nicely parked.
And so it begins...
As Shakespeare said, "It is
not in the stars to hold our destiny
"but in ourselves."
Right, let's dump our stuff
and get some cheap cider.
There's a pub down the road
if you fancy a pint.
Nice pub - not a murder pub.
Let's keep driving.
Unless you've had enough?
I've got a full tank
and a cheap rotisserie chicken.
I can go all night, kiddo.
Hmm.
So we're just staying here
all night?
Yup. It is now nine o'clock -
we have to stay here until 2am.
That's a full five hours of this.
I think that's what
the alcohol is for.
A chip? Someone threw a chip...
Who would throw a chip in a... Lee!
Look at him, getting twanted...
I'm going up there. Come on!
Lions led by donkeys.
Just, erm... returning your chip.
Yes, Gruffalo!
All right, Tits.
Tits?
Whoa! Tits has got legs!
Aretha, Yoko's legs have backfired.
Lee's so twanted,
he doesn't seem to realise
that it's Yoko on top of them.
The creation of a monster
always backfires on the creator,
Germaine...
If you'd have just read Frankenstein
when I recommended it to you,
none of this would have happened.
What are you doing, Germaine?
No way.
Are you lezzing your own sister?
Why? Would you like that?
You are lezzing off.
Wicked! Yo, Callum,
pass your phone, pass your phone!
Let me see, let me see.
If you two were hotter,
this would be amazing.
Yoko, I'm really sorry but I'm going
to have to get off with you.
It's what the public want.
No! Germaine! Sh.
Don't worry, it won't take long and
I'm pretty sure I'm a good kisser.
Yes! Go on.
No incest, Germaine!
Ah, you struck me!
It was quicker than exorcising you.
Do you like it in reverse?
Yeah, I like it in reverse.
She was just using you as a prop,
Yoko.
She doesn't actually find you
attractive. Does that help?
All right! I didn't know you two
were coming out tonight.
Yep, we're having a rare old time.
By which I mean an infrequent one.
Was that Germaine I just saw
leaving? She's gone?
Yup, Elvis has left the building.
Elvis is pretty upset.
I slapped Elvis.
Elvis tried to kiss me.
No way. You guys really go for it
when you go out. Respect.
Cathy, are you planning to
reconcile with Lee Rhind tonight?
If you mean am I going to
tongue him on the balcony,
show him what he's missing,
then, yeah.
OK, would you consider refraining
from doing that, just for tonight?
Soz, man. No can do.
A plan is a plan.
Oh, this is my number.
Got to go to twerk.
I'm going to break the
prime directive of Star Trek, Yoko.
I'm going to take action to change
the course of an alien culture.
I have a plan.
How much?
Excuse me?
You, erm... looking for trade?
Like a market?
Like a prostitute.
Prostitute?
Never mind. Never mind.
Have a good night, cock. Ta-ra.
Prostitute?!
Right. We're on a tight schedule.
You need to neutralise Cathy.
I'm going to psychologically
manipulate Lee Rhind.
I expect to have completed
this in under two minutes.
Neutralise Cathy?
Do it! Go! Neutralise, neutralise,
neutralise...
Good evening.
What is the best form of alcohol,
on a cost to incapacitation ratio?
Drink all of those.
Yeah, all right.
Neutralise, neutralise, neutralise.
Oh, hi, Yokes.
Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
My frigging shoe! Yoko! Yoko!
Elvis! Yoko, something incredible's
just happened to me!
A little less conversation,
a little more action!
We need to find Aretha!
Aretha, you will never guess
what's just...
Look, Lee is as suggestible
as he will ever be.
This is your chance.
No, Aretha. I don't want to.
He's not appealing to me any more.
Listen, something happened to me
outside.
A man offered to pay me for sex.
That's horrible.
No, it's great. Don't you see?
Men will pay me for sex.
And all I want to do is
get off with them for free.
I misunderstood the
sexual marketplace. Do you see?
I'm going to try something.
Get off with me? Yeah, all right.
Oh, my God! Did you see that?
You can just turn it on and off.
It's like a tap!
I don't need an unconscious Lee.
I can get off with live men.
After I've finished your chips, I'll
think about getting back with you.
Fitness!
I'm getting my suspension tuned
next week.
The ride will be even smoother.
I'll call you, hot rod.
Oh, Grampy, it was funny...
A man mistook me for a prostitute
and offered to pay me for sex!
We've all been there, Germaine.
Aye-aye, Del Amitri.
How was the tryst?
He took me to Rugeley and back.
Did he mention
when he might do my brake pipes?
Mum, I got off with four boys!
My jaw is literally
sore from all the snogging.
Oh, that's a relief.
Living with you's been like
having a horny gorilla in the house.
I'm constantly worried I'll come
home to find you humping the fridge.
What the...?
Who the frig is that?
Dad. Dad. Dad.
Fuck.