Pure (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Episode #1.6 - full transcript
Marnie is shaken by the realisation that she has pushed Shereen too far. She is convinced that everyone is turning against her now that they know about her condition. At Amber's birthday party she begins to spiral out of control.
I've got a dirty mind
and everybody knows it.
Fuck!
M-M-M-Marnie...
Just scrubbing the shame
off the taps,
hoovering some regret off the carpet
and cleaning up the general horror
of last week.
DOOR OPENS
Hi.
Hi. I cleaned the flat.
Yeah, it needed it. Mm.
And I got a job. Oh, well done.
Are you going to go
to Amber's party?
Cos we could go together, and
seeing as you don't really know
that many people... Probably not.
Right, I'll maybe see you in the
kitchen later.
Er, I feel like I've
hardly seen you all week.
Er, I've been working.
I had to let Karen go.
There's been a lot of interim admin.
Oh. I'm not always nice to people.
I said sorry.
Can we just...
..go back to how things were?
Cos I'm uncomfortable enough
as it is in my cupboard.
Er, maybe it isn't working.
No, I like the cupboard,
and I'm not even that uncomfortable.
I'm used to it.
I sleep in a ball, anyway,
and it's comforting.
No, um...
Maybe you should move out.
Why?
You said it was just
until you got yourself sorted.
It's not because of your disorder.
Well, you mentioning it kind
of makes it seem like it is,
cos why would you bring
it up if it's not?
It's just like standing over a dead
body and going, "It wasn't me!"
It's because of you!
It's because of you and the way
you are with people.
DOOR SLAMS
How I am with people
is because of my OCD.
It makes me a shit person
and I'm going to be shit
until I'm better, so,
it's just like, when is that?
Cos I've had three sessions now
and I thought I was going
to feel better than this.
What do you think
being "better" means?
I'll be a better person
when I don't have these thoughts
and wondering what
they mean and who I am.
The problem isn't
the thoughts, though.
It's the way they make you feel
and the shame you have about them.
That's why we need to find a way
for you to have a different
relationship with them.
I don't want a relationship with
them. I want them to go away.
That's why I'm here.
That's what I'm paying for.
Having absurd thoughts
is part of being human.
If you got rid of them completely
you'd be brain-dead.
I just want you to tell
me when they'll stop
and when I'll be better, so I can
stop worrying about dying alone
cos I'm such a shit person.
Therapy is not going to help you get
rid of your thoughts,
and the more you try to do that,
the more you'll have,
and the more distressed you'll get.
So I'm always going to have them?
I know you're looking
for a definitive answer.
I AM going to get better, though?
I'm sorry. I can't, I can't
give you that.
PHONE CLATTERS
SHE COUGHS LOUDLY
SHE STIRS
WHISPERS: Hey.
I thought you weren't staying.
Yeah, I know.
I must've just fallen asleep.
Whoops.
Well, it's a natural human response.
I won't hold it against you.
So, what shall we do?
Oh, I don't know about you, but I'm
going to go and do a HIIT class.
I'm not doing a HIIT class.
Well, you should.
Fuck it. Do you want to come to my
birthday party?
When is it?
Today, actually.
Birthday and party.
What're you doing here, man?
Er, it was the only
time you could do.
So, do you want to come, or...?
Why?
Cos people in London are flakes
and I don't want it to be just me
and four others staring
at some fucking Gs.
Right, who's going to be there?
Loads of people, you know?
Er, people from work,
people not from work.
People from...your house?
SHE LAUGHS
Yeah...
I don't know, it's just...
..a bit much.
I don't WANT you to come.
It's just for numbers.
I'm asking everyone.
I'm asking...my colourist.
But we should catch up next week.
SHE KISSES HER
Yeah, catch up.
I thought you didn't like coffee.
I slept with a barista,
now I'm a barista.
It's like a hipster STD.
You should've stuck with him.
He could've given you some tips,
since you have absolutely no idea
what you're doing.
I've had half a day's training!
As what?
As this?
Fuck's sake...
Marnie, just let me do it.
It's fine. I'll do it.
Can you just clear, please?
And take that lady her muffin?
Don't. I need this,
otherwise I'm just
another homeless Scottish person.
Sorry, it's such a stereotype.
You can always crash
at mine if you get stuck.
Are you sure?
It might be a bit awkward,
because last time you asked me over
you showed me your cock.
I take it back then.
Are you coming to Amber's?
Er, I'm meant to be seeing Sarah.
You should bring her.
I'm not sure she'll be up for it.
Really?
I thought she'd love a chance
to hang out with the kids.
No, she'd rather stay
in and have sex with me.
So...
..does that mean you're better?
Getting there, yeah.
That's why you go felting.
Menopausal women do it for you.
They must do.
Hope it works this time.
Yeah, it will.
It will.
I'll leave you to it.
Yeah, have a good one.
I will. Yeah, fine.
See you around, then.
I might have a mental disorder,
but it's other people
who have the problem. I just want to
be a normal 24-year-old woman
currently living in London.
I'm just going to style it out
and act like nothing happened,
like a clumsy fall or a fanny fart.
Happy birthday! Hey!
Wow, you are really
early, aren't you?
Er, well, you said any time after 9,
and it's one minute past, so,
after 9.
Exactly, and most people interpret
that as 10 at the earliest.
Also, I just wanted to check
that we were OK after the whole...
..Pasta-gate thing.
I'm not thinking about your vagina!
Yeah, we're, um...
We're fine.
Did you get anything
nice for your birthday?
Yeah. Er, cards, money and a
LOAD of comments on Facebook
so it has been a gas. Well...
..this is from me.
Ah, thanks.
SHE LAUGHS
You've really wrapped it there.
Yeah. It's not exciting.
Cool, perfume.
Yeah, so you don't smell
like a dead old lady.
No, I won't!
SHE LAUGHS
And I'll spray.
SHE SNIFFS
It's quite sweet. It's nothing.
I meant the, the smell.
It's quite a summery scent
than a wintry one.
I like it, though.
You could always use
it as a room spritz.
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
Do you ever have a party and then
it's time for the party, and...
..and you can't be fucking
arsed with a party?
Yeah. And then you have all these
people in your house.
You're like...
.."Get out of my fucking house".
And that's if they even
turn up at all.
I, I wasn't looking.
No, I know you weren't.
It's the material.
What is it? Polyester.
It looks great.
Joe!
He'll be down in a minute
to talk to you.
Do you want to grab yourself a
drink? I'm just going to...
..put some clothes on, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah, OK.
So what if I imagined
honking her breast?
She literally does it
all the time to people.
At least vodka's my friend.
Hey.
Amber says you have to talk to me.
OK. How's your foot?
It's good, yeah. How's your...
..disorder?
Sorry, I don't know how to...
Still disordering.
Um... That's why...
..I couldn't...
..when you tried...
And if I'd known, I wouldn't have.
Right. Not many people would.
I wouldn't.
No, not cos I don't want to know,
cos I do.
I googled you.
Er, I'm not a sheep breeder
from Wick,
never worked for easyJet
and I didn't die in 1847.
Different Marnie McCauley.
I googled what you have.
Cos you wanted to look at stock
images of distressed-looking women?
Yeah.
Could've just gone to a chemist and
hung out by the cystitis sachets.
I can't. There's a poster of me
behind the till.
SHE LAUGHS
No, I wanted to,
I don't know, educate myself
and talk to you about it,
if you wanted, cos maybe you don't
want to talk, but if you do...
..I'm here.
Thanks.
If I was going to buy a man
off Amazon, I'd buy you.
Great picture, good reviews.
Same day delivery.
LAUGHING: I don't know what that
means!
Ugh, come on, lads, this is
a food preparation area.
Er, I washed my hands.
She had something in her eye.
Your tongue?
Shit, wait.
Do you have a girlfriend?
No!
OK, I never know.
You're on then you're off,
then you're on again, like somebody
playing with the lights.
It's off now. It's dark.
Not dark as in sinister,
just dark as in it's not happening!
HE LAUGHS
It's like someone took the dimmer
switch and turned it down
really slowly.
Oooh, mood lighting!
All right, you can come on in.
Give your coats to Joe.
Oh, shit.
Don't worry about them.
You're old news.
The new one of you has
a massive necklace
and they're obsessed by it!
It rattles every time she moves.
You can hear her coming.
Joe!
Better go. Isn't he banging Moira,
the one with the chin?
Nah, they're just really good mates.
So, er, kitchen is the bar,
so help yourselves.
Mate, do you want some birthday
cake? Maybe later. Boring!
Have you got any good red wine?
Probably, yes. Good, though.
Do you know what?
Let me, let me see what I can do.
Not saying hello? Oh, my God, hi!
Yes, I...didn't see you.
Yes, I'm saying hello.
Hello.
SHE SHRIEKS
Amber told me what
was wrong with you.
Or the more PC version of that,
whatever that is.
She shouldn't have done that.
She thought I was
owed an explanation.
I'm sorry for bringing my mental
health issues to...
So, are you, like, constantly horny?
Er, more like constantly
confused and frustrated.
You should write about it.
For Ethel? Not for Ethel.
I'm not sure you quite fitted in.
That wasn't really ME.
So the drinking at work and the
general misconduct,
who was that, then?
Is Rioja all right?
Haven't you got any Malbec?
No.
Oh, my God...
Am I running a wine bar?
What? You told her!
And I also told her not to tell you.
I was trying to get you a reference.
Hi. Fuck off, you came!
Oh!
When did you get here?
Oh, I have to introduce you to my...
To the guy...
Ah!
You're going to fucking love him.
What are you drinking?
This isn't me being alone.
It's me not socialising with twats.
I'm glad I'm peak drunk
or it'd be highly embarrassing.
Thanks for coming in...um, round.
No, thank you.
And, um...
Thank you for letting me...
Well, you know, everything.
Feeling better about it has helped.
I'm glad. Um, I'm really glad.
It's been...
..great.
It's been really great, for me.
Yeah, me, too.
Why do some blokes not like...
..it, you know?
You are generous, diligent...
SHE SIGHS
..punctual, polite.
Thank you. Case in point.
Um, bit of constructive feedback,
though, if you're, if you're open?
Yeah, yeah, always.
It's a bit samey. Um...
A bit of variety wouldn't go amiss.
I've only been round twice.
Yeah, mix up the speed,
the pressure.
I mean, it's not an appraisal.
It kind of is, though.
Like an end of the week review?
More like an exit interview.
Sorry.
Sarah.
Don't do this.
Sarah!
STRANGLED VOICE: Sarah, don't do...
Stop it, stop.
Sorry, sorry.
Um...
Can I, er...
Can I ask why? I'm a doer.
I like... I like doing.
And at the moment I'm not doing
much except lying there, and it is,
it's lovely, but it's not enough.
Sometimes, you just want...
..a cock.
Sometimes you want a cock, Charlie,
OK? That's it.
Well, you are in luck, madame.
Because...
Ding.
Um, it'll take about half
an hour to kick in... Charlie.
So just bear with me. Talk amongst
yourselves, and I will be...
Charlie.
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
Um... Um, oh.
Fiddly little bastard!
Isn't this cheating?
No, cos I'm not with anyone, am I?
You know what I mean, Charlie.
And, um...
I don't want to let you down.
You don't want to do this with me.
Find yourself a nice young lady and
get to know each other, gently,
without, you know, rushing.
Well...
I know a nice young lady, so...
DOOR BUZZER
Yes! Shereen!
You're here and now I don't have to
try and think of cool things
to say to people. Well, I didn't
come here to charm YOU.
You don't know anyone,
who else are you going to talk to?
I don't know, other people? Yeah,
that's a great place to sit, guys.
Oh, no, she won't...
Hi, I'm Shereen.
Nice to meet you. I'm Sef.
Um...
Sorry.
That's actually mine.
Sorry, yeah, somebody drank mine,
so I thought it was maybe a...
..a help yourself kind of thing.
It's not.
Are you this selfish in bed, love?
Here, have one of mine.
I bet she steals all the covers.
Yeah, and makes loads of crumbs!
THEY LAUGH
Who do you know here? You. Cheers.
SHE GAGS
You all right? Oh, yeah, just...
Just a bit drunk.
Do you want to sit down?
No, no, I'll just keep my eyes shut.
No, don't, that'll make it worse.
Eyes on a fixed point.
Come on, look at me.
That's right.
What would she taste like?
What the fuck, Nancy?
Nancy? Maybe you should go find Joe.
I thought this was a bit much.
Yeah, it is a bit, mate. Chill out.
Were you going to say hi to me,
or were you just going to spend
the whole night in the kitchen
getting handsy with my mates?
Did I come in here to drink
booze or people's saliva?
Fuck!
It's too much.
This entire thing
has been 20% sex and 80%...
..me waiting for you to text,
and I'm fed up, Nancy.
I'm fed up. I've, um...
I've got you a card.
You got me a card?
It's just entirely
misconceived, right?
Because fashion isn't about wearing
a piece of cloth.
It's like you're wearing
a mask, but on your body.
But then it's the opposite of
wearing a mask because it completely
exposes who you are, I mean...
Have you seen Marnie at all?
No, sorry.
I might be full of booze,
but I'm empty inside.
I want someone to fill me up.
Marnie?
Excuse me.
Marn?
What? I'm doing a sexy face.
It's like the start of a murder.
SHE LAUGHS
I'm not going to murder you!
It's like the opposite of a murder.
Ow! What?
Are you sure, with your helmet?
It's not mine.
It's rubbish, then. Careful, hey!
WHISPERS: Fuck me.
Not tonight. Yes, tonight.
Come on, I want to.
I don't think we should. We should.
You fuck me and I'll fuck you back.
Are you all right? I will be...
..when you fuck me.
Wait, wait...
What if someone comes in?
I locked the door.
Stop fucking about. You started it.
I've not had as much as you.
What, so you're not drunk enough
to have sex with me? No.
You've had too much.
It's fine. I consent.
I consent!
SHE GIGGLES
LAUGHING: Marnie, stop it.
Look, stop it.
Don't be so sexy, then.
Marnie, stop it, Marn... Come on!
Look, Marnie... You want me to.
Marnie, stop. Stop it! I want to.
Stop, Marnie, no.
Chill the fuck out! Marnie...
Just let... Marnie!
I'm sorry.
Ah... Marnie, you need help.
I know I need help! This WILL help!
You'd be helping me.
Not like this.
Not until...
..you're better. No!
If you don't want to help
me, don't touch me!
I'm going to get you some water.
MOANING
Excuse me, excuse me.
I can't breathe.
Please, help...
I need to get out.
I can't breathe.
I could do anything and no-one
would even notice.
I'm anonymous, a nobody,
an actual fucking stranger.
I could be anyone.
London doesn't give
a shit what that is.
I still don't know what I am.
I'm lost in a city of eight million
people, I can't find myself
here and every time I think
I do I always spin away
like a fucked up whirlwind.
I want to blow myself out.
KNOCKING
Hello?
If you don't come out I'm going
to tell everyone you're pooing.
Just a minute!
Marnie, just answer your phone.
Where do you think she went?
I have no idea. Sorry.
Emma! All right.
There's a guy having a poo
in your loo, he's...
It's all yours. Do you do coke? No.
She's got a bit...
She's had too much.
I want went get her some water.
Charlie, did you find Marnie?
What happened?
She just lost it.
What did you do to her, mate?
Nothing, mate.
It's not going to work.
She's not picking up.
You all right, kiddo? Where are you?
What?
How come she picked up for him?
Marnie, where?
What did she say? What did she say?
What did she say?
It's fine, I got it. Charlie!
Woo!
Be sexier.
You're not...
You're not being sexy enough!
Hey. Hi. I'd like one.
Scuse...
Your hair's long.
Excuse me. Who wants a dance, boys?
Sorry. Sorry.
He is drunk.
Hey, I'd like one.
You are so drunk.
One nude private dance, please.
You look lonely.
Uh, nah, he doesn't look into it.
I look into because I am.
How much is it?
30? 40?
Can you leave me alone please?
No, I said no. I said no. I'll give
you more if you take cards.
I'll go into my overdraft.
Can you not touch my hair?
Whoa, whoa. What you doing, mate?
I thought you were a feminist.
I'm trying to buy a lap dance
but she won't give me one.
OK, well, let me give
you one at home, all right?
And it'll be funny
instead of like this.
Come on. Let's go.
No, I'm not finished!
Why are you doing this?
Because this is the stuff
I think about.
No matter who I'm with or what I'm
doing, this is what's in my head
and I need to know what it means.
No wonder I can't be round people,
they can't be round me.
I don't want to be around me.
I want to be around you.
I'm seeing if this turns me on so
I know what I like and what I am.
I need to know it in here.
If I could just get
a fucking lap dance!
Did your therapist
put you up to this?
I told me to do this because
I'm the one in my head
and I'm the one who can't be
in it a minute longer.
Come on. No, I don't know yet.
I can't leave until I know
how it really feels.
You're not going
to find out in here!
It's not real.
But I don't feel real.
You are real because I'm real,
and we're both in here.
Come here. Why are you here?
I was such a dick to you.
It's all right, it's all right.
I'm here because you're here
and that's the deal.
Door to door service.
Just as well, I don't know
how I would have got home.
Spent all my money on
strippers and booze.
It was on my way, so... Was it?
It really wasn't.
It's a massive inconvenience.
I know it was.
I'll get off then and, yeah...
Thank you.
Text me when you get home.
Yeah, you too.
I know you're on your doorstep
but fuck knows what will happen
between now and then.
Or I could make you a cup of tea?
Yeah, yeah,
it's the least you could do.
You should tell Joe you're
all right, he'll be worried.
I think he'll be fine.
What happened with you two?
Not like in detail, just the gist,
so I know whether to fight him.
Something happened.
Right, yeah, yeah, obviously.
But it won't again.
I don't want to be around someone
who is always secretly wishing
I'm better than I am.
What does being better
even mean anyway?
You managed it... Sarah.
Yeah, that's not happening.
It didn't happen.
I'm not better, I'm like you.
We're both...
Fuck ups together.
I think I'll save it
for a special occasion.
Your birthday or something,
Mother's Day.
You shouldn't worry
people like that!
I'm sorry.
Thank you for worrying,
I don't deserve it.
No, you don't.
See you, Charlie. Shereen.
Anyway, you two obviously have stuff
to sort out so I'll...
You sure? What about your tea?
I've seen how you make
hot drinks, mate. Not happening!
You can buy me one
next week if you want.
Night. Eat a banana!
KNOCKING
I didn't say come in!
I just want to say I never wanted
to live here in the first place.
The only reason I did
is because I had nowhere else to go
and it was rent free.
I was a shit person, Shereen.
I still am and it's not
because of what I've got.
You were right when
you said it was me. It is me.
It's how I am with people
and I don't want to be like that
with people, especially not you.
You made me feel like a small person
and I'm not. I know you're not.
Because some of the things I've done
for you have actually been
quite big.
Like letting you live here, paying
for your therapy, making that huge
pavlova that hardly anybody ate.
Sorry.
It's in the fridge decaying,
like our friendship.
It might still be edible.
Meringue keeps for ages.
I love living with you.
I love living with you!
Please can I stay?
No.
Fine, uh, I'll start looking
for places tomorrow.
Preferably somewhere
not in Tottenham. Wow, OK.
Somewhere really far away
like Lewisham or Streatham.
OK, Shereen, I get it.
And make sure it's got two bedrooms.
You're a fully grown woman.
You can't sleep
in a cupboard forever.
I've spent so long trying to find
myself in London
I almost didn't see
all the other people.
To truly find yourself
you have to show others
who you really are.
Wow, turns out I am
a massive wanker.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
and everybody knows it.
Fuck!
M-M-M-Marnie...
Just scrubbing the shame
off the taps,
hoovering some regret off the carpet
and cleaning up the general horror
of last week.
DOOR OPENS
Hi.
Hi. I cleaned the flat.
Yeah, it needed it. Mm.
And I got a job. Oh, well done.
Are you going to go
to Amber's party?
Cos we could go together, and
seeing as you don't really know
that many people... Probably not.
Right, I'll maybe see you in the
kitchen later.
Er, I feel like I've
hardly seen you all week.
Er, I've been working.
I had to let Karen go.
There's been a lot of interim admin.
Oh. I'm not always nice to people.
I said sorry.
Can we just...
..go back to how things were?
Cos I'm uncomfortable enough
as it is in my cupboard.
Er, maybe it isn't working.
No, I like the cupboard,
and I'm not even that uncomfortable.
I'm used to it.
I sleep in a ball, anyway,
and it's comforting.
No, um...
Maybe you should move out.
Why?
You said it was just
until you got yourself sorted.
It's not because of your disorder.
Well, you mentioning it kind
of makes it seem like it is,
cos why would you bring
it up if it's not?
It's just like standing over a dead
body and going, "It wasn't me!"
It's because of you!
It's because of you and the way
you are with people.
DOOR SLAMS
How I am with people
is because of my OCD.
It makes me a shit person
and I'm going to be shit
until I'm better, so,
it's just like, when is that?
Cos I've had three sessions now
and I thought I was going
to feel better than this.
What do you think
being "better" means?
I'll be a better person
when I don't have these thoughts
and wondering what
they mean and who I am.
The problem isn't
the thoughts, though.
It's the way they make you feel
and the shame you have about them.
That's why we need to find a way
for you to have a different
relationship with them.
I don't want a relationship with
them. I want them to go away.
That's why I'm here.
That's what I'm paying for.
Having absurd thoughts
is part of being human.
If you got rid of them completely
you'd be brain-dead.
I just want you to tell
me when they'll stop
and when I'll be better, so I can
stop worrying about dying alone
cos I'm such a shit person.
Therapy is not going to help you get
rid of your thoughts,
and the more you try to do that,
the more you'll have,
and the more distressed you'll get.
So I'm always going to have them?
I know you're looking
for a definitive answer.
I AM going to get better, though?
I'm sorry. I can't, I can't
give you that.
PHONE CLATTERS
SHE COUGHS LOUDLY
SHE STIRS
WHISPERS: Hey.
I thought you weren't staying.
Yeah, I know.
I must've just fallen asleep.
Whoops.
Well, it's a natural human response.
I won't hold it against you.
So, what shall we do?
Oh, I don't know about you, but I'm
going to go and do a HIIT class.
I'm not doing a HIIT class.
Well, you should.
Fuck it. Do you want to come to my
birthday party?
When is it?
Today, actually.
Birthday and party.
What're you doing here, man?
Er, it was the only
time you could do.
So, do you want to come, or...?
Why?
Cos people in London are flakes
and I don't want it to be just me
and four others staring
at some fucking Gs.
Right, who's going to be there?
Loads of people, you know?
Er, people from work,
people not from work.
People from...your house?
SHE LAUGHS
Yeah...
I don't know, it's just...
..a bit much.
I don't WANT you to come.
It's just for numbers.
I'm asking everyone.
I'm asking...my colourist.
But we should catch up next week.
SHE KISSES HER
Yeah, catch up.
I thought you didn't like coffee.
I slept with a barista,
now I'm a barista.
It's like a hipster STD.
You should've stuck with him.
He could've given you some tips,
since you have absolutely no idea
what you're doing.
I've had half a day's training!
As what?
As this?
Fuck's sake...
Marnie, just let me do it.
It's fine. I'll do it.
Can you just clear, please?
And take that lady her muffin?
Don't. I need this,
otherwise I'm just
another homeless Scottish person.
Sorry, it's such a stereotype.
You can always crash
at mine if you get stuck.
Are you sure?
It might be a bit awkward,
because last time you asked me over
you showed me your cock.
I take it back then.
Are you coming to Amber's?
Er, I'm meant to be seeing Sarah.
You should bring her.
I'm not sure she'll be up for it.
Really?
I thought she'd love a chance
to hang out with the kids.
No, she'd rather stay
in and have sex with me.
So...
..does that mean you're better?
Getting there, yeah.
That's why you go felting.
Menopausal women do it for you.
They must do.
Hope it works this time.
Yeah, it will.
It will.
I'll leave you to it.
Yeah, have a good one.
I will. Yeah, fine.
See you around, then.
I might have a mental disorder,
but it's other people
who have the problem. I just want to
be a normal 24-year-old woman
currently living in London.
I'm just going to style it out
and act like nothing happened,
like a clumsy fall or a fanny fart.
Happy birthday! Hey!
Wow, you are really
early, aren't you?
Er, well, you said any time after 9,
and it's one minute past, so,
after 9.
Exactly, and most people interpret
that as 10 at the earliest.
Also, I just wanted to check
that we were OK after the whole...
..Pasta-gate thing.
I'm not thinking about your vagina!
Yeah, we're, um...
We're fine.
Did you get anything
nice for your birthday?
Yeah. Er, cards, money and a
LOAD of comments on Facebook
so it has been a gas. Well...
..this is from me.
Ah, thanks.
SHE LAUGHS
You've really wrapped it there.
Yeah. It's not exciting.
Cool, perfume.
Yeah, so you don't smell
like a dead old lady.
No, I won't!
SHE LAUGHS
And I'll spray.
SHE SNIFFS
It's quite sweet. It's nothing.
I meant the, the smell.
It's quite a summery scent
than a wintry one.
I like it, though.
You could always use
it as a room spritz.
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
Do you ever have a party and then
it's time for the party, and...
..and you can't be fucking
arsed with a party?
Yeah. And then you have all these
people in your house.
You're like...
.."Get out of my fucking house".
And that's if they even
turn up at all.
I, I wasn't looking.
No, I know you weren't.
It's the material.
What is it? Polyester.
It looks great.
Joe!
He'll be down in a minute
to talk to you.
Do you want to grab yourself a
drink? I'm just going to...
..put some clothes on, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah, OK.
So what if I imagined
honking her breast?
She literally does it
all the time to people.
At least vodka's my friend.
Hey.
Amber says you have to talk to me.
OK. How's your foot?
It's good, yeah. How's your...
..disorder?
Sorry, I don't know how to...
Still disordering.
Um... That's why...
..I couldn't...
..when you tried...
And if I'd known, I wouldn't have.
Right. Not many people would.
I wouldn't.
No, not cos I don't want to know,
cos I do.
I googled you.
Er, I'm not a sheep breeder
from Wick,
never worked for easyJet
and I didn't die in 1847.
Different Marnie McCauley.
I googled what you have.
Cos you wanted to look at stock
images of distressed-looking women?
Yeah.
Could've just gone to a chemist and
hung out by the cystitis sachets.
I can't. There's a poster of me
behind the till.
SHE LAUGHS
No, I wanted to,
I don't know, educate myself
and talk to you about it,
if you wanted, cos maybe you don't
want to talk, but if you do...
..I'm here.
Thanks.
If I was going to buy a man
off Amazon, I'd buy you.
Great picture, good reviews.
Same day delivery.
LAUGHING: I don't know what that
means!
Ugh, come on, lads, this is
a food preparation area.
Er, I washed my hands.
She had something in her eye.
Your tongue?
Shit, wait.
Do you have a girlfriend?
No!
OK, I never know.
You're on then you're off,
then you're on again, like somebody
playing with the lights.
It's off now. It's dark.
Not dark as in sinister,
just dark as in it's not happening!
HE LAUGHS
It's like someone took the dimmer
switch and turned it down
really slowly.
Oooh, mood lighting!
All right, you can come on in.
Give your coats to Joe.
Oh, shit.
Don't worry about them.
You're old news.
The new one of you has
a massive necklace
and they're obsessed by it!
It rattles every time she moves.
You can hear her coming.
Joe!
Better go. Isn't he banging Moira,
the one with the chin?
Nah, they're just really good mates.
So, er, kitchen is the bar,
so help yourselves.
Mate, do you want some birthday
cake? Maybe later. Boring!
Have you got any good red wine?
Probably, yes. Good, though.
Do you know what?
Let me, let me see what I can do.
Not saying hello? Oh, my God, hi!
Yes, I...didn't see you.
Yes, I'm saying hello.
Hello.
SHE SHRIEKS
Amber told me what
was wrong with you.
Or the more PC version of that,
whatever that is.
She shouldn't have done that.
She thought I was
owed an explanation.
I'm sorry for bringing my mental
health issues to...
So, are you, like, constantly horny?
Er, more like constantly
confused and frustrated.
You should write about it.
For Ethel? Not for Ethel.
I'm not sure you quite fitted in.
That wasn't really ME.
So the drinking at work and the
general misconduct,
who was that, then?
Is Rioja all right?
Haven't you got any Malbec?
No.
Oh, my God...
Am I running a wine bar?
What? You told her!
And I also told her not to tell you.
I was trying to get you a reference.
Hi. Fuck off, you came!
Oh!
When did you get here?
Oh, I have to introduce you to my...
To the guy...
Ah!
You're going to fucking love him.
What are you drinking?
This isn't me being alone.
It's me not socialising with twats.
I'm glad I'm peak drunk
or it'd be highly embarrassing.
Thanks for coming in...um, round.
No, thank you.
And, um...
Thank you for letting me...
Well, you know, everything.
Feeling better about it has helped.
I'm glad. Um, I'm really glad.
It's been...
..great.
It's been really great, for me.
Yeah, me, too.
Why do some blokes not like...
..it, you know?
You are generous, diligent...
SHE SIGHS
..punctual, polite.
Thank you. Case in point.
Um, bit of constructive feedback,
though, if you're, if you're open?
Yeah, yeah, always.
It's a bit samey. Um...
A bit of variety wouldn't go amiss.
I've only been round twice.
Yeah, mix up the speed,
the pressure.
I mean, it's not an appraisal.
It kind of is, though.
Like an end of the week review?
More like an exit interview.
Sorry.
Sarah.
Don't do this.
Sarah!
STRANGLED VOICE: Sarah, don't do...
Stop it, stop.
Sorry, sorry.
Um...
Can I, er...
Can I ask why? I'm a doer.
I like... I like doing.
And at the moment I'm not doing
much except lying there, and it is,
it's lovely, but it's not enough.
Sometimes, you just want...
..a cock.
Sometimes you want a cock, Charlie,
OK? That's it.
Well, you are in luck, madame.
Because...
Ding.
Um, it'll take about half
an hour to kick in... Charlie.
So just bear with me. Talk amongst
yourselves, and I will be...
Charlie.
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
Um... Um, oh.
Fiddly little bastard!
Isn't this cheating?
No, cos I'm not with anyone, am I?
You know what I mean, Charlie.
And, um...
I don't want to let you down.
You don't want to do this with me.
Find yourself a nice young lady and
get to know each other, gently,
without, you know, rushing.
Well...
I know a nice young lady, so...
DOOR BUZZER
Yes! Shereen!
You're here and now I don't have to
try and think of cool things
to say to people. Well, I didn't
come here to charm YOU.
You don't know anyone,
who else are you going to talk to?
I don't know, other people? Yeah,
that's a great place to sit, guys.
Oh, no, she won't...
Hi, I'm Shereen.
Nice to meet you. I'm Sef.
Um...
Sorry.
That's actually mine.
Sorry, yeah, somebody drank mine,
so I thought it was maybe a...
..a help yourself kind of thing.
It's not.
Are you this selfish in bed, love?
Here, have one of mine.
I bet she steals all the covers.
Yeah, and makes loads of crumbs!
THEY LAUGH
Who do you know here? You. Cheers.
SHE GAGS
You all right? Oh, yeah, just...
Just a bit drunk.
Do you want to sit down?
No, no, I'll just keep my eyes shut.
No, don't, that'll make it worse.
Eyes on a fixed point.
Come on, look at me.
That's right.
What would she taste like?
What the fuck, Nancy?
Nancy? Maybe you should go find Joe.
I thought this was a bit much.
Yeah, it is a bit, mate. Chill out.
Were you going to say hi to me,
or were you just going to spend
the whole night in the kitchen
getting handsy with my mates?
Did I come in here to drink
booze or people's saliva?
Fuck!
It's too much.
This entire thing
has been 20% sex and 80%...
..me waiting for you to text,
and I'm fed up, Nancy.
I'm fed up. I've, um...
I've got you a card.
You got me a card?
It's just entirely
misconceived, right?
Because fashion isn't about wearing
a piece of cloth.
It's like you're wearing
a mask, but on your body.
But then it's the opposite of
wearing a mask because it completely
exposes who you are, I mean...
Have you seen Marnie at all?
No, sorry.
I might be full of booze,
but I'm empty inside.
I want someone to fill me up.
Marnie?
Excuse me.
Marn?
What? I'm doing a sexy face.
It's like the start of a murder.
SHE LAUGHS
I'm not going to murder you!
It's like the opposite of a murder.
Ow! What?
Are you sure, with your helmet?
It's not mine.
It's rubbish, then. Careful, hey!
WHISPERS: Fuck me.
Not tonight. Yes, tonight.
Come on, I want to.
I don't think we should. We should.
You fuck me and I'll fuck you back.
Are you all right? I will be...
..when you fuck me.
Wait, wait...
What if someone comes in?
I locked the door.
Stop fucking about. You started it.
I've not had as much as you.
What, so you're not drunk enough
to have sex with me? No.
You've had too much.
It's fine. I consent.
I consent!
SHE GIGGLES
LAUGHING: Marnie, stop it.
Look, stop it.
Don't be so sexy, then.
Marnie, stop it, Marn... Come on!
Look, Marnie... You want me to.
Marnie, stop. Stop it! I want to.
Stop, Marnie, no.
Chill the fuck out! Marnie...
Just let... Marnie!
I'm sorry.
Ah... Marnie, you need help.
I know I need help! This WILL help!
You'd be helping me.
Not like this.
Not until...
..you're better. No!
If you don't want to help
me, don't touch me!
I'm going to get you some water.
MOANING
Excuse me, excuse me.
I can't breathe.
Please, help...
I need to get out.
I can't breathe.
I could do anything and no-one
would even notice.
I'm anonymous, a nobody,
an actual fucking stranger.
I could be anyone.
London doesn't give
a shit what that is.
I still don't know what I am.
I'm lost in a city of eight million
people, I can't find myself
here and every time I think
I do I always spin away
like a fucked up whirlwind.
I want to blow myself out.
KNOCKING
Hello?
If you don't come out I'm going
to tell everyone you're pooing.
Just a minute!
Marnie, just answer your phone.
Where do you think she went?
I have no idea. Sorry.
Emma! All right.
There's a guy having a poo
in your loo, he's...
It's all yours. Do you do coke? No.
She's got a bit...
She's had too much.
I want went get her some water.
Charlie, did you find Marnie?
What happened?
She just lost it.
What did you do to her, mate?
Nothing, mate.
It's not going to work.
She's not picking up.
You all right, kiddo? Where are you?
What?
How come she picked up for him?
Marnie, where?
What did she say? What did she say?
What did she say?
It's fine, I got it. Charlie!
Woo!
Be sexier.
You're not...
You're not being sexy enough!
Hey. Hi. I'd like one.
Scuse...
Your hair's long.
Excuse me. Who wants a dance, boys?
Sorry. Sorry.
He is drunk.
Hey, I'd like one.
You are so drunk.
One nude private dance, please.
You look lonely.
Uh, nah, he doesn't look into it.
I look into because I am.
How much is it?
30? 40?
Can you leave me alone please?
No, I said no. I said no. I'll give
you more if you take cards.
I'll go into my overdraft.
Can you not touch my hair?
Whoa, whoa. What you doing, mate?
I thought you were a feminist.
I'm trying to buy a lap dance
but she won't give me one.
OK, well, let me give
you one at home, all right?
And it'll be funny
instead of like this.
Come on. Let's go.
No, I'm not finished!
Why are you doing this?
Because this is the stuff
I think about.
No matter who I'm with or what I'm
doing, this is what's in my head
and I need to know what it means.
No wonder I can't be round people,
they can't be round me.
I don't want to be around me.
I want to be around you.
I'm seeing if this turns me on so
I know what I like and what I am.
I need to know it in here.
If I could just get
a fucking lap dance!
Did your therapist
put you up to this?
I told me to do this because
I'm the one in my head
and I'm the one who can't be
in it a minute longer.
Come on. No, I don't know yet.
I can't leave until I know
how it really feels.
You're not going
to find out in here!
It's not real.
But I don't feel real.
You are real because I'm real,
and we're both in here.
Come here. Why are you here?
I was such a dick to you.
It's all right, it's all right.
I'm here because you're here
and that's the deal.
Door to door service.
Just as well, I don't know
how I would have got home.
Spent all my money on
strippers and booze.
It was on my way, so... Was it?
It really wasn't.
It's a massive inconvenience.
I know it was.
I'll get off then and, yeah...
Thank you.
Text me when you get home.
Yeah, you too.
I know you're on your doorstep
but fuck knows what will happen
between now and then.
Or I could make you a cup of tea?
Yeah, yeah,
it's the least you could do.
You should tell Joe you're
all right, he'll be worried.
I think he'll be fine.
What happened with you two?
Not like in detail, just the gist,
so I know whether to fight him.
Something happened.
Right, yeah, yeah, obviously.
But it won't again.
I don't want to be around someone
who is always secretly wishing
I'm better than I am.
What does being better
even mean anyway?
You managed it... Sarah.
Yeah, that's not happening.
It didn't happen.
I'm not better, I'm like you.
We're both...
Fuck ups together.
I think I'll save it
for a special occasion.
Your birthday or something,
Mother's Day.
You shouldn't worry
people like that!
I'm sorry.
Thank you for worrying,
I don't deserve it.
No, you don't.
See you, Charlie. Shereen.
Anyway, you two obviously have stuff
to sort out so I'll...
You sure? What about your tea?
I've seen how you make
hot drinks, mate. Not happening!
You can buy me one
next week if you want.
Night. Eat a banana!
KNOCKING
I didn't say come in!
I just want to say I never wanted
to live here in the first place.
The only reason I did
is because I had nowhere else to go
and it was rent free.
I was a shit person, Shereen.
I still am and it's not
because of what I've got.
You were right when
you said it was me. It is me.
It's how I am with people
and I don't want to be like that
with people, especially not you.
You made me feel like a small person
and I'm not. I know you're not.
Because some of the things I've done
for you have actually been
quite big.
Like letting you live here, paying
for your therapy, making that huge
pavlova that hardly anybody ate.
Sorry.
It's in the fridge decaying,
like our friendship.
It might still be edible.
Meringue keeps for ages.
I love living with you.
I love living with you!
Please can I stay?
No.
Fine, uh, I'll start looking
for places tomorrow.
Preferably somewhere
not in Tottenham. Wow, OK.
Somewhere really far away
like Lewisham or Streatham.
OK, Shereen, I get it.
And make sure it's got two bedrooms.
You're a fully grown woman.
You can't sleep
in a cupboard forever.
I've spent so long trying to find
myself in London
I almost didn't see
all the other people.
To truly find yourself
you have to show others
who you really are.
Wow, turns out I am
a massive wanker.
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