Psych (2006–2014): Season 7, Episode 10 - Santa Barbarian Candidate - full transcript

When the mayor is found dead, Shawn & Gus try to prove he was murdered by the successor to the mayor seat. Shawn runs for mayor to delay the successor from stepping into office.

Quality of life is up

because crime in Santa Barbara
is at an all-time low

due to the tireless efforts

of your Santa Barbara
Police Department.

Correction: Seriously
underfunded police department,

you eco-socialist moonbat.

Gavin Channing
is an awesome mayor.

And people like trees, Carlton.

I am honored
to recognize Chief Karen Vick,

her dedicated officers,

and the extraordinary
Shawn Spencer

for their invaluable service
to the community.

Please, stop.
It's all too much.

Thank you, mayor.

What is genius?

Can you bottle it?

Is it something you would
even want to bottle?

Chief, I'm so sorry.

I'm such a jerk sometimes.

Look at this, everyone.
Isn't that nice?


It is moments like this

that make my second sight

and illustrious gift set

so worthwhile.

I believe it was EMF

who first said,
"You're unbelievable."

If only I had known then

they were talking about me.

That's why we need your help...

Would you both excuse me
for a moment?

You have a gift, my friend.

Oh, Gavin, we must find time
to speak about my proposal.

Shawn, we legally can't remove

the traffic lights
and speed limit signs.

- Not all of them.
- Only the ones

between your house
and the Psych office.

That is correct,
and there will be a speed limit.

140 miles per hour.

We will call it
the super speed corridor.

The autobahn of Santa Barbara.

It is both inexpensive
and simple.

That doesn't sound
inexpensive or simple.

Plus it goes
through three schools.

Why do you hate progress?

Guys, my wife Renee.

- Hello.
- Oh.

- Are these people important?
- Renee.

- Buh-bye.
- Oh.

So brief.

Mr. Mayor, the Sacramento
contingent is here.

Ah, wonderful.
Have you guys met?

Jason Straub,
go-to staffer.

You gave him credit
for getting you reelected

after that water district flap
last year.

Wow, you really know
your local politics.

Well, you're right.
He's a real star-in-the-making.

Damn handy when fires
need putting out.

Thank you, Mr. Mayor,
but we really need

to think about making our exit.

In a minute, J.
Listen, Shawn,

you always brighten my day
whenever you come down here,

and I wanted to offer up
a little token.

You're going to approve
my chunnel to Catalina.

I was thinking more along
the lines of brunch at my place.

After my surf tomorrow?

Maybe around 10:00?

We'd love to see Juliet.

We've really missed her
since she worked for us

- at City Hall.
- I'm sure.

The thing with Juliet is--

I don't want to hear anything
but you're engaged.

I'll check her availability,

I'm sure she misses you.


I'm available for brunch.

You're available to suck it.

Man, I gotta go find Jules.

- Yeah.
- Shawn, no.

Maybe you didn't hear me.

I said there would be blintzes.

Shawn, I'm not going to brunch

at the mayor's house with you.

We're broken up.

I thought we took
a small step forward.

Well, I thought we did too.

And then I see you up there,

just gloating
in front of everyone.

And it's a solid reminder
of all the issues

I have with you.

It's just a charade.

Oh, come on, Jules.

I was--
I was just playing around.

You know,
we're gonna break

his little mayor heart.

He's a grown man.

I think he'll land on his feet.

Surf conditions
are finally picking up

to three-to-four feet
after nothing

but one-to-two-footers
in the early morning hours.

Why were we listening
to the surf report?

'Cause I want to bone up
on the lingo, impress Channing.

Boning up is not a thing,

Yeah, maybe not in Jamaica.

Dude, stop crushing
on the mayor.

I'm not crushing on him.

I like him.

I like his house, his car,

his hair.

I mean, the man
has his own private beach

with access to the best waves

in Santa Barbara, Gus.

Plus, he smells like Christmas.

And, if he and I
become surfing buddies,

so be it.

Whoa, hold up, hold up.

what happened here?

Looks like you might need
to get a new surfing buddy.


[ ♪ I Know You Know ♪
by The Friendly Indians ]

♪ In between the lines

♪ there's a lot of obscurity ♪

♪ I'm not inclined to resign

♪ to maturity ♪

♪ If it's all right

♪ then you're all wrong

♪ but why bounce around
to the same damn song? ♪

♪ You'd rather run
when you can't crawl ♪

♪ I know you know

♪ that I'm not telling
the truth ♪

♪ I know you know

♪ they just don't have
any proof ♪

♪ Embrace the deception

♪ learn how to bend

♪ your worst inhibitions tend
to psych you out in the end ♪

Santa Barbarian Candidate

It's ironic, if you ask me.

He fought so hard
to save the ocean,

and then gets killed by it.

Carlton, please.

People are in a state
of shock over this.

He was surfing in a spot
called "The Vortex."

Pretty rough.
I should know.

That section has almost
taken me out a couple times.

- You surf?
- No.

But I do a fair amount
of nude sunbathing.

Occasionally, I have to go in,
do a little rinse-off.

The Vortex has rocks
just beneath the surface.


Notice the jagged pattern here.

I'm estimating he was
in the water

about four hours
before he was found.

Okay, then case closed.

Killed by too much nature.
Come on.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Four hours?

Nothing but one-to-two-footers
in the early morning hours.

That would have put him
in the water

- at what, like, 6:00 A.M.?
- Mm-hmm.

There were no waves
at 6:00 A.M.

Gus, pull up the surf report.

He's right.
There were no waves.

Why would the mayor go surfing
when there was no surf?

That doesn't strike anyone
as the slightest bit suspicious?

Well, look.
Everyone liked him, Shawn--

- Hmm.
- But do you really think

that's enough for us to go on?

- Sure.
- Absolutely.

Tell you what.

Let's drag King Neptune
into interrogation room "B"

and put the screws to him.

All right, here's the plan.

We're gonna talk to Channing's
right-hand man, Straub,

see if he has any idea
who might have had it out

for his old boss.

Hey. You with me?

You know, I can't believe

we're in Santa Barbara's
corridors of power.

- Not this thing--
- You know, Shawn,

I could've made it in all
the way to the White House.

- Yeah. Maybe as an aide.
- Of course.

- Say, "Yes, Mr. President."
- Yes, Mr. President.

- Sorry, Charlie.
- Man, you don't know.

I'm just saying,
I could've been

- the black James Carville.
- Who's that?

The farmer from Babe?

That's James Cromwell, Shawn.

That'll do, Gus.
That'll do.

Will you put that down?

Let's just wait for Straub
to get here and--

Pretty gorgeous, huh?

Ah, hey, man.

I almost snagged myself
one of these

in the claw crane game
at Dave & Buster's,

but I think we all know
that thing is rigged.

Those are Mexican turquoise.

Mayor Channing
used to bring it back

from his remote surf spots
in Mexico

and give them to people
as gifts.

He was generous that way.

Had a lot of friends.

How about enemies?

No, not really.

I mean, that's what made him
such an effective politician.

Everybody loved him.

We were just in the process

of raising $50,000
to get us to Sacramento.

That's excessive.

only 200 miles away.

He wanted to be governor?

What, by overspending
on travel?

No, we needed the 50 grand
for an exploratory committee.

Why did he need
to raise the money?

Wasn't Channing loaded?

No, his wife
is the wealthy one,

and she doesn't like to part
with her money.

- Oh.
- Speaking of parting,

I gotta get this place
packed up for the new staff.

- Wow, that quickly?
- Yeah.

Santa Barbara law states
that the head of city council

takes over in the event
of the mayor's death.

That means the new staff
will be in

by the end of the week,

and I get to help
during the transition.

Speak of the devil.

My apologies, gentlemen.

- Was I interrupting something?
- Nah.

Tom, this is Shawn Spencer
and Burton Guster.

Guys, this is the city's
new mayor, Tom Swagerty.

Gentlemen, a pleasure.

Listen, Jason, I know
this is tough on all of us,

and I think it's admirable

that you're here
helping the way you are.

Naturally, I don't think
it's appropriate

to discuss business
at this time,

so I just came by here
to give you these--

a few key objectives I'd like

to get rolling on
in the next couple of days

and an agenda for tomorrow
night's council meeting.

The first is a proposal
for a new city motto.


Might I suggest
"Santa Barbara...

"Stop for a pee,
but stay for a lifetime"?

Or how about this?

"Santa Barbara:

This is where
Rob Lowe humps it out."

You can suggest that.

Good day.

There's a vote
to convert the wetlands

- into an outdoor mall?
- Yeah.

I mean, Channing's been nixing
the idea for years,

but the developer,
Pacific Acquisitions,

uses their influence
to keep it alive.


At Edgemont landing,

experience premier comfort
and design...


Gus, if we are ever
an inch tall,

we're living there.

You know that's right.

- Hello, ma'am.
- Hello.

My name is Shawn Spencer.

This is my partner,
Bill Uvrights.

What was that?

The right to bear arms.

You just shot her in the face.

I wasn't aiming at her, Shawn.

I was shadow-hunting.

We're here to see the boss.

Which boss?

There are a lot of those
around here.

The big cheese.

The poob grandier.

I don't see your names
on the schedule.

What is this regarding?

Well, we are here to present

a new version
of the wetland project.

- Please observe.
- Wahhh...

- There's a cupcake.
- Yes.

That represents a
5,000-square-foot cupcake store

called complimentary cupcakes.

That means
all the cupcakes are free.

What's that apple core
supposed to be?

Ooh, well, that is
just an apple core.

That's not supposed
to be there, Bill.

Now it's a rec center.

How do you like them apples?

Are you done?

Ma'am, we will not be ignored.

She's calling the boss.

- I'm calling security.
- What?

I told you this
was a stupid idea.

Pick up, pick up.

I'll be right back.

Shawn, we need
to get out of here.

- Would you hold on?
- For what?

- Eh.
- Hurry up!

Let's go.

You're saying that
Tom Swagerty killed the mayor?

No, not me, chief.

The spirits are saying it.

Well, if the spirits
have any proof,

we'd certainly like to hear it.


Swagerty is a majority owner

in a real estate development

that mayor Channing
vowed to oppose.

Swagerty kills Channing,
tomorrow's city council vote

goes in his favor,
he makes millions.

Okay, well, as compelling
as your theory is, Mr. Spencer,

I'm gonna need
a little bit more

than circumstantial evidence
before I tell

the people of Santa Barbara

that their mayor was murdered.

This makes total sense.
Think about it.

It's the same motive
as the biblical tale

of the very first murder--
brother kills brother

over multi-use retail
and residential space.

What version of the Bible
are you reading?

- The new Rick James version.
- Okay.

Chief, unless Spencer
has any other theories,

can I go ahead and tell Woody
to officially rule

Channing's death an accident?


Thank you.

Sorry, Mr. Spencer.

This just sucks.

In four
days, Swagerty's gonna be

- both mayor and a murderer.
- Yup.

You know the worst part
of this?

Once Swagerty becomes mayor,
he'll have control

over the police department.

I guarantee you he'll make sure

they don't look
into Channing's murder.

How could he get away
with that?

It's all in the bylaws.

Dude, you stole the bylaws
from Channing's office?

There's nothing in the bylaws

that says it's illegal
to steal bylaws, Shawn.

Is there anything in the bylaws

that says...

Seriously, man.

We got to figure out a way
to keep Swagerty

out of office long enough

to build a solid case
against him.

Wait a second.
Wait a second.

I can't believe
I never thought of this.

Gus, I've got news.

Guys have been manscaping
for years.

What? Listen, Shawn.
Look. Right here.

It says
the head of the city council

will automatically succeed
the mayor

unless challenged
by another candidate,

in which case
a special election must be held.


So we just need
another candidate.


And so it is
with that same sense of pride

and a renewed hope
for unbound glory

that I, Shawn Spencer,

do hereby declare my candidacy

for the office of mayor.

Gus, I'm not even sure
this thing is on.

We heard you loud and clear.

Now, Shawn, it's very important

that your first TV interview
is a success.

Don't worry, it will be,

as long as they film me
from one of my 27 good sides.

I drew up a list of topics

for you to familiarize
yourself with--

unemployment rates,
crime statistics,

- labor issues.
- Hmm.

Thanks, Wendy.

- She used to be a candy striper.
- Really?

No, but that would have been
a fun thing.

- What?
- This is nice. Thanks, man.

No, no, no.

Barack and Michelle
got slammed in the press

after doing that in public.

We'll stick to culturally
neutral salutations

until we see some polling.

Dude, I think you can afford

to rove it down a notch.

We're not trying to win,

We're just trying
to keep a killer

from taking over the city.

I know, Shawn,

but you still don't want
to look ridiculous.

They may ask you
the tough questions.

- Food carts?
- You plan to have a food cart

on every corner
by the end of your mandate.

- Yes, I do.
- Now, listen, Shawn.

You have to remember the rule.

You never, never answer
the question they asked you.

- Only answer the question...
- I wish they had asked me.

My man.

What would make you effective
as an elected official?

In two words, approachability.

My door will always be open.

And I want the citizens
of Santa Barbara

to feel comfortable
marching through that door

and telling me about the issues
that matter to them,

and the issues that matter
to their pets.

Mr. Spencer,
as you know, the city

has been recently dipping into
its cash reserves to close

an estimated $26 million
general fund deficit.

If elected, how do you propose

to close this gap?

Well, that
is an outstanding question,


Am I saying that correctly?

- No.
- The answer is simple.

My least favorite
is the black jelly bean,

and I'm not just saying that
because it's black.

Believe me,
some of my best friends

are black jelly beans.

But, if I wanted
to be eating licorice,

why would I reach
for a jelly bean?

You feel me?
I suspect you do.

And here's
a free golden nugget.

I also vow
to protect our fine city

from invaders to the north

and the west,
and I will only use

the fundamentals of traditional
Brazilian jiu-jitsu.


Rain dance.

That's from Along Came Polly.

- Stay with us.
- Idiot.

You looked like
a complete lunatic, Shawn.

After that, I'm pretty sure
I'm the only person

in Santa Barbara
that's gonna vote for you.

Perfect. That means
I've got the black vote.

Psych office
and campaign headquarters.

Just saw your interview.

Finally, someone who speaks

to the issues I care about.

Listen, I have news
on the Channing case.

Usually when I inspect
lacerations of surfers

who eat it at the Vortex,

I find, you know,
little bits of coral

and rock in the wounds.

Channing's is clean.
It's not right.

Damn it, I knew it.

And I found gray hairs
in his wetsuit.

Preliminary tests
reveal they're not his.

That you're here
helping the way you are.

Woody, you complete me.

The gray hairs.
It's Swagerty's, isn't it?

I'll give you a hint:

You do understand
how hints work, right?


What are you doing here, man?

I saw your interview,
and I'd like

to assist you in your campaign.

And why would you
want to do that?

Because, like you,

I don't want Swagerty
to be mayor.

- I don't trust him.
- Neither do we.

That's what I just said.

Here's the thing, Straub.

Shawn already has
a campaign manager: Me.

And I've already got
all the bases covered.

Really? So you've covered
all potential scandals?

- 100%.
- What about this?

A mustache is very mayoral.

Plus Franco Nero.

Look, first we need
to work on your image.

The public sees you as a glib,
flaky, overindulgent adolescent

who spends way too much time
with his best friend.

I'm not glib.
What's glib?

- You.
- Shawn, with my help,

we actually have an outside shot
of winning this thing.

It's not gonna be easy,
especially in light

- of the Abby Sheldon incident.
- Who's that?

Swagerty's late fiancee.

She tragically fell at home
about two months ago and died.

It makes him very sympathetic
in the public's mind.

- He's so lucky.
- Shawn.

Let me get you
the exposure you need,

and you can beat him
on your own terms.

I like the sound of this
very much.

Straub, consider yourself
my new campaign manager.

- Co-campaign manager.
- Whatever.

We'll start by having you

go to the founders' gala

- He said "gala."
- I heard him, Shawn.

All the big players in town
will be there,

plus the media.

Now, the voters
like a candidate

who's in a stable relationship,

so you're gonna need
to bring a date.

That's going to be
a little difficult.

Well, maybe not.

I've arrived.

I'm here for you.

You really do look beautiful,
by the way.

Thank you,
but remember, I'm here

for the same reasons you are.

You're running for mayor?

To investigate Swagerty
based on the new evidence.

That's it.
Got it?

Got it.
I couldn't agree more.

- Good.
- Just standard investigating.

Scoping out clues and leads,

and possibly kissing.

How are you?
Good to see you.

A lot of stuff to do
in a little amount of time,

so stay focused.

As soon as you get the chance,

that's our host, Andrew Hobbs.

He has a yacht
and loves deep-sea fishing.

Got it. Hobbs, fat,
likes to murder fish.

And that is Leecy Davis.

Very deep pockets.

She also has a weakness
for young men

playing volleyball--

- shirtless.
- All right.

I'll be ready with all my best
C. Tommy Howell quotes

from Side Out.

Watch out for the stuffed
mushroom appetizers.

It's a scam job.

It looks like
there's sausage inside,

but it's really all vegetables.

- That is outrageous.
- Damn it.

Swagerty's soaking up the press

with shots with his daughter.

You have to get in there,
steal that spotlight.

You don't have
to say that twice.

Remember to grab the hair.

Not yours.

Right. We gotta connect him
to the murder.

My daughter Nicole.
Straight-"A" student.

Honey, there's Uncle Judd
over there.

Why don't you go say hello
to him for me?


on your candidacy, Shawn.

Congrats on the spinach
in your teeth.

You are going down.

"Going down"?

Are we talking
about the election?

Where were you the night

before Channing's body
was found?

Not that it's
any of your business,

but I was at my daughter's
violin recital.

- What about the morning of?
- She had soccer practice.

What are you getting at?

Uh, why do you hate art
and homeless animals?

Are you telling me
you think Channing was killed?

I don't know.
Was he?

I'm not gonna dignify that
with a response.

I liked Channing.

I had nothing to do
with his death.

- Mm-hmm.
- Hey!

"Summer just got
a little bit hotter."

Did you guys get that?

Side out.
C. Tommy Howell.

Ladies and gentlemen,

before we continue
with the festivities,

I'd like to take this time
to acknowledge

our late, great mayor,
Mr. Gavin Channing,

who was taken from us
far, far too soon.

He was a principled politician
and a great friend,

and we will truly miss him.

To Gavin Channing.

Hear, hear.

You want to dance?

- No.
- Good.

Thank God.
Neither do I.

But it seems like
it's a necessary part

of this investigation.

I got to stay in this race.

Right now, Swags
is stealing all my thunder.

Well, too bad for you
you don't dance.

Yeah, too bad.

When we went
to take the dance class,

you said you had shin splints.

Not entirely true.

I went to the Montecito
Scottish Ventriloquist Festival

with Gus.

I felt so guilty
about lying to you

that I went back
and took that dance class

all by myself.

You did?

They say it's all about
your connection

with your partner.
If you have the right partner,

there's nothing you can't do.

Where was this Shawn Spencer

when we were dating?

He's right here.



Come on.

You cannot pretend

that you don't still have
feelings for me.

It does not make
for very good theater.

Well, I won't pretend, Shawn,

because I do.

But I also can't pretend

that I can trust you.
Can't you see that?

Jules, sweetheart,
you can trust me, okay?

Look, I lied.
I lied about being a psychic,

and that probably accounts
for thousands of lies

that I have told you
since we've worked together,

and, the worst part is,
nobody believed in me

more than you.

You always had my back

when nobody else would.

I feel so horrible about that.

I need you to understand

you are on the hook
until you make it

so that I don't have
to lie for you anymore.

It's very simple.

You have to tell the chief.

No, Jules,
that's not gonna happen.

That's not gonna happen,
because, if I do that,

then all of this goes away,
all of it.

And with it goes the good.

All the lives
that I have saved,

the lives that I've improved.

This is--this is what I have,

This is how I do good.

Not for everyone.

Hey, Swags,

no hard feelings, okay?


What the hell?

Thanks, Woodman.

Guess what?
Swagerty's alibi checked out.

And here's the worst news--

he took the wetlands vote
off the agenda.

I'm not so sure
he's our guy anymore.

Yeah, he's definitely
not our guy.

Woody just confirmed that
the gray hair they found

on Channing's body
did not belong to Swagerty.

There goes our theory.
What now?

First, I drop out
of the race immediately.

The best man gets to be mayor.

We find ourselves
another suspect.

No harm, no foul.

It's like modern war.

You did it, Shawn.

You killed it at the gala.

The buzz
is you're crushing Swagerty.

So I took a straw poll
up and down state street

- of potential votes.
- And?

You're gonna be mayor.

Are you saying that Spencer
might actually win this thing?

Oh, my God.
The Mayans were right.

That's it.
I'm gonna have to move.

There's no other solution.

Will you guys calm down?

Shawn is not going to be mayor.

It's just
for the investigation.

These things have a way
of snowballing, Guster.

One day, he's mayor, the next,
his face is on our currency.

I can't believe
I'm going to have

to assassinate a public figure.

You know,
when he was ten years old,

he ran for office
on the promise

he'd build a thunderdome
in the schoolyard?

I can't imagine what
that idiot's got planned now.

That is an excellent question,

It's essentially
a giant cage-like structure,

an arena where conflict
can be solved in a public forum.

My administration
will be all about transparency,

hot dog wieners
of unusual lengths,

- and gladiatorial justice.
- Spencer!

Get your ass in here!

That guy will not be here

when I am running
this department.

I'm going
to ask you this calmly.

Are you insane?

Oh, come on, you guys.

It's not like
I'm actually going to be mayor.

For more than two terms.

I'm just gonna make
a few sweeping changes

here at the department,
and then I'm out of here.

Oh, Lassie, relax.

I'm gonna withdraw.
Swagerty's clean.

And the best man for the job.

Your disloyalty
disheartens me--

is what I would say
if I was still running.

But I'm not.

As much as it pains me
to say, Shawn,

you can't withdraw.
Not now.

You're in the public eye, kid.

If you bail,
it's gonna raise questions

and subject you
to a little more scrutiny

than I think you want.

Right, well, in that case,

we should probably ease up
on the reins a bit.

You know, come up with a way
to subtly throw this thing.

I can fix that.

Gus, you are rehired

as my solo campaign manager.

You'll have to figure out
a way to make me seem

less desirable,
which won't be easy.

I can fix that.

Here's the question.

If Swagerty didn't kill
Channing, then who did?

I mean, who else had motive?

Those are Mexican turquoise.

He used to bring them

from his remote surf spots
in Mexico

and give 'em to people
as gifts.

What is genius?

Can you bottle it?

Is it something you would
even want to bottle?

He was a principled politician

and a great friend.

To Gavin Channing.

His wife!

I am sensing that Channing
was a player!

That he cheated
on his wife willy-nilly,

and the Spencers do not use

the term "willy-nilly"

- No, we don't.
- Wait a minute.

Woody found a gray hair
on Channing's body.

She's not gray.

Are these people important?

Only her stylist
knows that for sure.

Ah! Ah!

Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho.

Hello, Renee.

I didn't know you rode.

It's just about all we do
in my hometown of snowy river.

It helps me find clarity.

As a matter of fact,

I'm getting some right now.

Are you?

What I'm getting
is that your husband

had a little problem
with monogamy!

- Wait, Lightning!
- Well, now, you just unearthed

the worst-kept secret
in Santa Barbara.

Yes, Gavin was incorrigible.

Seabiscuit, stop, stop.

It was one
of his best qualities, really.

We'd been living apart
for some time.

I guess you could say
our marriage was a...


A career move.

White Chocolate.
I don't know the horse's name.

And that didn't bother you
at all?

- No.
- Mrs. Channing,

I'm ready for you.

In a moment, Antonio.


Let's just say that Gavin and I

had an understanding.

Let's cut
to the chase here, Renee.

A gray hair was found
on your husband's body.

The same gray hair you used
to have before you colored it.

I know you were there
the night he died.

Yes, I was with him.

But I didn't kill him.

We slept together.

That is disgusting.
And rich.

Why would you do that?

Well, I wanted to get
something for my 50 grand.

We needed the 50 grand
for an exploratory committee.

'Cause, even though
he was a terrible husband,

he was a great lover,

and would have been
a fabulous governor.

I really wanted to make love
in that mansion...

with Antonio.

Well, I'm bored.

Come on.

All I'm saying
is that showing me passed out

surrounded by beer cans

is not exactly my idea

of a nuanced photo.

Well, if you hated that,

you're not gonna like
this commercial.

It's about to start airing.

Dude, we have a commercial?

Yup. I sliced one together
last night

and got the local station
to air it

in exchange for you
giving free psychic readings

- for the next year.
- Smart thinking.


I'm Shawn Spencer,
and this is my vision

for Santa Barbara.



- Wow.
- Sorry, man.

- I had to go big.
- The bird thing was messed up.

- Right.
- But some of those

- weren't far from the truth.
- I know.


How come I wasn't consulted
on that commercial?

'Cause Gus is running
the show solo now.

Sorry I didn't tell you,

but I just
haven't been satisfied

with the way
my campaign's being managed.

- Competently?
- Exactly.

By the way, did you know

that Channing did get the 50k

for the exploratory committee
from his wife

the night that he died?

That's impossible.
He would have told me.

Not if he never had
the opportunity.

- What?
- Got to bounce.

Gus, I have it.

Channing was robbed.

His wife gave him the 50k,

someone broke into the house,
stole the money,

and killed him
using that missing bookend.

The one the killer
took with them

after they clobbered Channing
over the head.

So it must have been
an inside job.

Someone with access
to this house.

Perhaps we should start
with those.

- Hey, Lassie.
- So I have eliminated

the housekeeper
and the gardener,

which pretty much leaves
the plumber.

Guy named Mike Plummer.

He's a plumber
and his name is Plummer?

I don't say things
to be humorous.

Ooh, speaking of humorous,

you, my friend,
are getting killed

at the polls.

Are you aware
that your campaign

just aired an ad
detailing your foot fetish?

It was quite disturbing.

Foot fetish?
Come on, son.

Looks like Mike the plumber
came into some cash.

- Hello?
- Hello.

Mike Plummer the plumber?

Uh, Shawn.

What you got?

Where have I seen
that dude before?

Sniff around the body
or something.

I'm gonna go snoop
on his computer.

Why do I got
to hang around a dead body?

Because you love it.

Dude, I just found
a bank statement

that shows a recent deposit
of $50,000.

How recent?
Like four days ago recent?

Yup. The day after Channing
got that money from his ex-wife.

Your theory about him
robbing Channing was on point.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.

Tom, this is Shawn Spencer
and Burton Guster.

Guys, this is the city's
new mayor, Tom Swagerty.

That's Abby Sheldon,

Swagerty's ex-fiancee.

What is she doing
at Channing's house?

Asked and answered.

That Channing
was a randy little spaniel.


Let me see that.

Bam, there was another deposit
made two months earlier,

four days after Abby's death.

- I got it.
- Good. Let's get out of here.

I mean, why should I get fined

for not picking up
my dog's poop?


Good evening.
Good evening, everyone.

Excuse me.
So sorry.

My name is Shawn Spencer.

I am actually here
because I have had

a psychic revelation

that will shake the foundation

of Santa Barbara
to its very foundation.

Here's the thing.

Abby Sheldon did not die

in her home,
as was widely reported.

She, in fact, expired
in the home of her lover,

the man that we all knew
as former mayor Gavin Channing.

I mean, does my dog get a bill
every time I do my business?

Huh? Yeah.

The points you're making
are valid.

But I'm gonna be up here
for a really long time,

so you'd be wise
to take a seat.

Thank you.

Gavin Channing,
for all his flaws,

was not a murderer.

Now I am sensing
that Abby Sheldon's death

was, in fact, accidental.


What does any politician do
when they're in a jam?

They call
their right-hand man,

and, in this case,
that right-hand man

was Jason Straub...

who, for the record,
is a lefty.

Sure enough,
that is the first call

that Channing made
the night Abby died,

according to the phone records

by SBPD's very own
Carlton Lassiter.

I am sensing
that you moved Abby's body

from Channing's house
back to her house,

still made it look
like an accident.

But there were a couple things
that you didn't count on.

First being Channing's
contractor, Mike Plummer.

Being the opportunist
that he was,

he jumped at the opportunity
to document

this potential scandal.

You can find these photographs
at his apartment.

And you know this how?

Because my senses
don't lie, they multiply.

Anyway, Mike Plummer
used these photographs

to blackmail Channing
to the tune of $50,000.

Channing thought
it was a one-time payout.

Then a couple months later,
Plummer shows up again

and he asks for more.

Channing was ready
to come clean, but Straub,

the man who orchestrated
the entire cover-up,

didn't want to go to jail,
did you?

Come on, nobody's believing
this lunatic, right?

Jason, sit down.

You pleaded with Channing

not to do it,
and when he refused,

finally you killed him.

That's enough!

The other thing--

You stuffed him
into his wetsuit

and you dumped him
into the ocean.

The other thing
you didn't count on

was that the man
who succeeded Channing as mayor

is the same guy
who was not convinced

that the accidental death
of his fiancee

was an accident...

Just came by here
to give you these.

A few key objectives
I'd like to get working on

in the next couple weeks.

Because among the list
of key objectives

he gave you
was a motion to reopen

the police investigation
into the death of his fiancee.

You needed to make sure

that Swagerty
wasn't elected mayor,

and that is why you tried
to help me beat him,

but when that didn't work,

you killed the only person,

that could testify against you

in a future trial.

Come on, Straub.
Give it up.

Don't--don't do it.


Have some respect for yourself.

That's it.

I now cede the floor
to the crazy poop woman.

God bless Santa Barbara.

It's not too late.

We could turn around,
get Red Robin,

go back to the Psych office.

American Duos
premieres tonight.

- I owe you one, man.
- You owe me infinity, Shawn.

It's very simple.

You have to tell the chief.

You noticed the door
was closed, right?

Something on your mind?

Yeah, actually, it's my mind

that I want to talk
to you about, chief?

You--you know
those blackmail photos

from the Channing case, right?
You remember those?

It was three days ago.

Oh, right, well,
the funny thing is,

and truth is
it's not funny at all,

I may not
have come across those

in the manner that
you've grown accustomed to.

I'm not following.

What I'm saying, chief,
is that it is entirely possible

that I have been
less than forthright

about the way that I do
the things that I do.

Like this.
This, for example.

Mainly that really.

What I'm saying
is that I'm sorry,

- but that I'm not actually--
- He's covering for me.

- What?
- Shawn led me

to the blackmail photos,
and I obtained them

- without an official warrant.
- I'm sorry?

We wouldn't have gotten
the evidence if we'd waited.

So you searched the victim's
computer without a warrant?

Yes, I did.

But it was just the one time,
I swear.

You understand that,
if a judge knew about this,

Straub would walk?

Fortunately for all of us,
we got a confession from him.


Well, then I guess--
I guess we're good here.

Orange whip?
Orange whip?

No, Mr. Spencer,
we are not good at all.

You are a police officer,
Ms. O'Hara.

- And, Mr. Spencer, you are a...
- Psychic.

I was going to say
an independent contractor,

and both of you serve
the people of this city.

And everything
is to remain aboveboard.

Do I make myself clear?

- Yes, chief.
- Yeah. Absolutely.


You're dismissed.

Good-bye, Mr. Spencer.

Later, chief.

Jules, let's not make this

any more complicated
than it needs to be.

I know exactly why you did
what you did

with the chief this morning.

Do tell.

Well, it's obvious,
don't you think?

I mean, without me,
Santa Barbara turns into Detroit

within a week.

- That's not it.
- It's not?

Shawn, when I first asked you

to tell the chief the truth

and you declined,

I just thought
you were being selfish.

But then you were actually
going to tell her.

It hit me--

if I let you
go through with this

and throw everything away,


I'd be the one
being selfish, wouldn't I?

I couldn't let you.

Gus is so thankful.

I know.

So should we just do it?


I'm not ready
to get back together.

I mean, there's still an issue
of trust here.

I can't just flip a switch.

- That's fair.
- Mm.

- Shawn.
- Yes?

It's not going to happen.

All right, well,
you just tell me

when you're ready,
because I'm going to be waiting.

In my stocking feet,
wearing a chef's hat

and an apron.

And that's it.


Now who's ready
for some Souplantation?

Soup I can do.

What about bisque?

I'm hoping there's a bisque.

With a little bit of luck,

they'll have the veggie chili.

Oh, I love the veggie chili.

- It's very chunky.
- It is chunky,

but I love my chili chunky.