Psych (2006–2014): Season 7, Episode 9 - Juliet Wears the Pantsuit - full transcript

Juliet tells Shawn to move out of the apartment. Shawn moves in with Woody and Juliet gets a new roommate. When a body is found and the investigation started, Shawn thinks the new roommate killed the victim.

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I think it's time
that we moved in together.

Home should be
wherever you are.

Say cheese or something. Oh!
Cheese or something!

Shawn, I need to
ask you something.

Lassiter said you had a vision.

I'm good at what I do.

Are you telling me
this is all a lie?

Please don't make
me answer that.

I think maybe you're
making too much of this.

Honesty is everything
to me, Shawn.

You're not gonna tell anyone about the...
Don't worry.

Sweetheart, I am so sorry.

I know you don't think
it's a big deal,

but the more I think about
it, the angrier I get.

What does that mean exactly?

I think you should move out.


You've been packing that
same box for the last hour.

Well, I...

Whoa! Hey, wait! You
can't throw that out.

I got you that shirt
for your birthday.

Yeah, it's, uh... It's
not really my thing.

Jules, I spent
some serious time,

tireless search, looking for
something that exuded style.

Something that
said, "Fashion."

Well, it's a bit literal.

But I'm... I'm happy
to keep it.

I mean, if you want.
Buried in a drawer.

Uh, hey! We, uh...

We still haven't divvied
up those cereal boxes.

Shawn, I know
what you're doing.

And prolonging this is only gonna
make it harder for both of us.

Okay, I propose joint
custody on the Froot Loops.

And, that I don't move out.

Shawn, come on!

This isn't easy for me either.

It wasn't my choice
to blow this.

All right,
you know what, Jules?

First of all, there are a lot of guys
that blew it way worse than I did

and got to keep their women.
Like Bill Clinton.

From what I understand, even Maria
Shriver is starting to thaw a little.

if that's a, um, camera crew,

and a makeover team,
technically, I still live here.


Shawn, it's the girl I'm
interviewing to be my new roommate.

What? Her name is Kimberly.

You are kicking me out and
replacing me on the same day?

She answered my ad
on Craigslist.

Jules, only psychos
answer ads on Craigslist.

You might as well have posted it on


So nice to meet you.
I'm Kimberly.

Come on in.

Wow! All right, Kim. Pop quiz!

Where does the lotion go?


Kimberly, this is my, uh, funny and
slightly inappropriate friend, Shawn.

And he was just leaving.

You know, the photos in the ad
do not do this place justice.

It's amazing.

Thank you. Seriously, Kim.
Where does it go?

Where does the lotion go?
Don't answer that.

Where do you put the lotion?

You don't have to answer
any questions that...

I don't... Especially any
questions about lotion.

Did you tell her
about the bats?

The place is
infested with bats.

How about Kathy, did you
tell her about Kathy?

Who's Kathy?
Who's Kathy!

Just the ghost who lives here.

You know, she bleeds through
the walls on occasion.

And she likes to cuddle on
the day she was murdered.

I guess it's all pretty harmless
stuff, as long as your soul is pure.

See? I told you.

I mean, just so silly.

And you are leaving, right now?

Actually, I don't
have anywhere to be.

My current roommate is
apartment hunting too,

and I'm really hoping she
doesn't see this listing.

Is that horrible of me to say?

Yes, 100%, Kathy agrees.

Okay, okay. Let's go ahead
and get started. Yeah.

Have a seat.

I'm not just gonna give
up on us, all right?


Come on, man.
Just let me stay with you.

It'd be like old times.
You know?

Put somebody's finger in warm
water while they're sleeping,

or rub toothpaste
all over their arms.

First of all, Shawn, we're not
in our late 20's anymore.

And secondly,

as much as my heart
goes out to you,

Rachael and Max are staying with me
until their house gets fumigated.

Oh, wow. So, you just get
to play pretend family

with an Indian princess

while I'm stuck living
on the streets,

like Jamie Foxx
with an old cello?


Hey, dad. What are
you doing here?

Oh, just donating some stuff
to the Police League auction.

What's going on? Shawn
needs a place to stay.

Well, you know my
door is always open.

Exactly. Which is why I'm never
setting foot in there again.

Ever since I saw you and my
poor, unsuspecting mother...

Making love.

I died 10% inside.

Okay? I'm serious. I can't
feel my armpits anymore.

Look at this. You see this?
Are you seeing this?

I used to be
ticklish under there.

All right, fine.

What's this?

Roommate needed at palatial
beach front property.

What? With unbelievably
low rent.

What, are you kidding me? Wow.


You got the Wood-man! Woody?

No. Hang up right now, Shawn.
Hang up right now.

Uh, hey, buddy!
Don't do it, Shawn.

Looking for a roommate, I hear.
Don't do it.

Don't lie to me, now, is
this really, uh, waterfront?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, it's...
It's gorgeous.

I got a 20,000
square foot backyard...

Twenty thousand square feet!
...and it is crawling...

I don't care!
...with beach bunnies.

Like an episode of Baywatch.

That sounds beautiful,
and exactly what I need.

No, it's not.
Count me in!

I wouldn't do it. I'll see
you in paradise, buddy.

You got it!

Call me David Chokachi. No.

I'm living in a beach house.
With a middle-aged coroner.

In a beach house. With
a middle-aged coroner.

In a... In... With a...
With a...


I'm not doing this with
you right now, man.


Move your ride, Phil! I gotta get
this baby down to the beach.


Hey, Jules.



Tough luck on the
break-up there, Spencer.

But, on a positive note,
you won me 300 bucks.

I bet Dobson you
two wouldn't last.

Oh, by the way, there's
a cool G in it for you

if you start batting
for the other team.

Think about it.

The nerve of that guy.

So, what's the plan?

The plan is
to win Jules back.


Good luck, Shawn.

Shawn, it's not gonna work.

Oh, come on, Jules, just...

Just tell me I'm better
company than Kimberly.

She's like Buffalo Bill

with a red bow in her hair.

Yeah, well, Kimberly
never called me back.

Thanks to your stories about
Kathy, the vindictive poltergeist.

That's fair.
I did lie a little bit.

So, I'm going with this girl, Laura.


That's great. I'm helping
her move in later.

That's awesome.


First, I would like to
sincerely apologize

for everything I said
about Kimberly.


And second,

I know why she didn't
get back to you.

I know, you know
That I'm not telling the truth

I know, you know
They just don't have any proof

Embrace the deception
Learn how to bend

Your worst inhibitions tend
to psych you out in the end

I know, you know

- Hey, roomie.
- Hey.

You wearing my sneakers?

No. Well,
one of them.

It's a new look I'm going for.

I call it, "The snoafer."

The snoafer? Yeah!
Business on the left,

party on the right.

It's like a footwear mullet.

I call it crazy.

You have a...

You have an extra
room, don't you?

It's being painted.

And Mom and Althea are
in the bomb shelter.

Oh, that reminds me, the Airstream
is currently experiencing

some plumbing issues, so,
for the next two weeks,

if it's yellow, let it mellow,

and if it's brown, you're
gonna wanna scoop it out,

bag it and dispose of it somewhere else.

No, no, Gus.
You have to help me.

I can't scoop my own poop.
I told you.

No, I need you. Uh, let
me stay in the house.

Let me stay in Rachael's house,
uh, in the fumigation tent.

Don't be ridiculous, Shawn. I'm not
being ridiculous. You heard what...

Now, as for this one,

uh, cause of death was

acute blunt force
trauma to the head.

The lack of blood at the
crime scene would indicate

that she was murdered
elsewhere, and then moved.

Which would also explain
why she had no ID on her.

Hey, O'Hara, I thought you
were taking a personal day.

Well, this was a potential
roommate of mine.

So, I thought I'd come down
and help any way I can.

Her name would be great.


Did you get a last name?

No, I didn't.

Well, that's some
pretty serious

Herman Cain style
vetting there, Jules.

It was a quick meet
to see if we clicked.

I was gonna check
her background

after she brought
back the application.

Did you at least get
a phone number? No.

Uh, just an email address,
but it was a dead end.

What can you give us? Well,
she was allergic to cats.

She liked bluegrass.

Whoa. She liked

I think we can probably just forego
the DNA testing, don't you, guys?

Come on, Jules.
I get it.

You're feeling reckless,

maybe a little bit crazy.

But don't you think it
would be nice if there was

someone hanging
around the house

who could remind you to be
a little more cautious.

Maybe someone man-like,
with kind hair.

And soft, full lips.

I appreciate your concern
for my well-being,

but I can take care of myself.

Though I should do a better job at
figuring out who people really are.

Let me know what I can do.

You can take care of me, Shawn.

Look at this space.
It's enormous.

Oh! Thank you.

That's so sweet.

By the way, I love that locket.

It's like something out of
an Emily Bronte novel.

Thanks. It was,
um, my great-grandmother's.


This is, uh...

This is me and my mom. Oh.

I haven't seen her in a
really long time, so this is

how I keep her close.

I'm sorry, I'm...

Such a crier. No, no. It's fine.

I've been doing my share
of that lately as well.

Hey, we should go
to Chillerz tonight.

You know? Be each other's
wing-woman if the mood strikes.

I would love to do that,

but I've just got out of a
complicated relationship.

So, I'm not really
into meeting people.

I was in a serious
relationship once and...

It was a nightmare.

So, what happened
with your guy?

Let's just say Shawn had
some issues with the truth.

Hmm. Hey, ladies!

Oh, my God.
Uh, Shawn.

You can't just show
up here unannounced.

I thought I had visitation
rights with my Froot Loops.

I mean, our Froot Loops.
Look at them.

They grow up so fast.
Wait, that's your ex?

You know what, I think I will
have a drink with you tonight.

Mmm-hmm, at Chillerz? Yep.

Chillerz? You know that place ends
with a "Z," not an "S," right?

I've also heard that they make their
potato skins with human skin.


You must be Laura.


It is so nice to meet you.

Uh, I'm sensing you
used to be a hipster

or a hippie, or...
Maybe a little bit of both.

That is so awesome
that you know that.

Yeah, Shawn, I mean, it's like
you're psychic or something.

Or something.

Well, I have a ton of errands.

So, J, I will see you
tonight at Chillerz.


I can't believe I get to live here.
Even I'm jealous of me.

Buh-bye. "Even I'm
jealous of me"?


Nice, too.

Clearly she's not
gonna work out.

Laura is great and you know it.

You just came by here to find
something wrong with her.

And, oh, my God.

We must talk about boundaries.

Jules, I'm here to talk about
the case, Scout's honor.

The bluegrass lead hasn't quite
beared as much fruit as I'd hoped.

So, can you remember her
saying anything else?

Yes, that she liked
Bikram yoga.

And I'm having
Lassiter check it out.

How dare you be sitting on such
an important piece of information?

What are you gonna do?

You gonna go visit every
yoga studio in town?


Because there's only one.

What did you think
of Juliet's roommate?

I think she's weird. I also
think she has the hots for me.

You do realize you're the
last person on Earth

who says "the hots" with zero
irony in your voice, right?

Okay, fine, she has the
hubba-hubbas for me.

All right. Class is
starting, everybody!

Please put your stuff
into your lockers!

Excuse us. Uh. We'd like
to ask you a few questions

about one of your students.

I'm about to teach a class.
How about after?

I have got back-to-back
classes all day, sorry.

Why don't you try me tomorrow?

You know we have to... No.

Yes. How else...
No. No. No, Shawn.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yes. Shawn!

I won! Yeah.

Now, plant your palms, take a
deep inhale and lift your heart.

Good. Cobra pose.
Shoulders back.

Yeah, relax your face.

It's gotta be
100 degrees in here.

Hundred and five, actually.

Bikram uses heat to allow
for deeper stretching.

Now, let's begin the slow
transition from cobra into locust.

I got cobra!
I'm a cobra!


I'm a quarter locust.

I'm a quarter of a locust.

Please help me, I'm afraid.

Okay, here. I can't
control my ass.

I can't
control my ass.

I can't...
Oh. Okay, okay.

You know what? If I
answer your question,

will you stop trying
to ruin my class?

Yes. Perhaps so.

Have you taught a, uh...

A dark-haired girl
named Kimberly?

Yeah, she's a regular.


What else can you
tell me about her?

I don't know.
She's super sweet.

She walks to class every day.

Lives in a building
close by, the Ivanhoe.

The Ivanhoe?

Let's bounce, Gus.

Gus, come on.

Gus, get up.
Get up.


I'm a little parched,
but I feel great.

That's because you just
slept for 20 minutes.


Oh, hey.
Hi, I'm Laura.

Hi, hi. I'm...

I didn't know you did Bikram.
Uh, yeah.

A variation where you wear all
your clothes and your shoes.

That's why your skin's so clean.

It is, isn't it? Yeah.
You're like, glistening.

I think I'm just
hot from class.

Hey, we should take a yoga
class together some time.

I'm still pretty into
being Juliet's mat mate.

Oh, yeah, well,
who wouldn't be.

I mean, she's awesome, right?

So together and easy-going.
We should go.

Okay. Well, awesome. Okay.

It was so random
running into you.

Yeah. Awesome.

Sweat it out. Uh-huh.
Bye, Shawn.

Random? Are you
kidding me?

She has the hubba-hubbas for me.

Whatevs. If I don't get some
electrolytes into my system soon,

I'm gonna go into renal failure.
I could eat.

Hello there, Dave.

I'm from the Santa Barbara
Police Department.

I am psychic detective
Shawn Spencer,

this is my partner, Blue Ivy Carter.
Wah! No pictures.

I'd like to ask a few questions
about one of your tenants.

Her name's Kimberly.
Yeah, I remember her.

She lived with
that tasty gal, Wendy.

Hmm. Where is this
tasty gal, Wendy?

Man, now I want a Frosty.
Or some chili.

And some Biggie fries, what?

Why you making that creepy face?

Uh, they, uh, moved out,
their lease ended.

Do you know her last name?

Yeah, it was, uh, Gale, or...

Goldfarb. Goldfarb.


Gilliam. Yeah.

Wow, I can see that you are
a master at your craft.

Gotta love what you do.

I hear that.

How about you just show
us the apartment? Yeah.

Well. Now we know where
Kimberly was killed.

All right, we're analyzing
the blood for a match,

but if my instincts are
as strong as my belief

that climate change is a hoax,

it'll be Kimberly's.
This is ugly.

Whoever killed Kimberly
is one bad dude.

Yeah, I'm sensing
you used to be a hipster

or a hippie, or maybe
a little bit of both.

Or dudette.

Where the hell is Chillerz?

I know!

Dude, I still
don't get it.

The nose ring found on the floor of
Kimberly's apartment belonged to Laura.

It was her, Gus.

Laura killed Kimberly.

I have never seen a
person more in love

with an apartment than Laura.

Those hardwood floors
made her thighs sweat.

She wanted to live there so bad

that she killed Juliet's
first choice of roommate

to make it happen.
That theory is wacked.

If that's true, then she's
a hall of famer nut job.

First ballot. In fact, I'm
surprised you haven't dated her.

That's Jules.

And she's flirting
with those dudes.

This is not happening.

Okay, boys.
Chop, chop.

I think I'll take it from here.

What are you doing?


We have gotta stop running
into each other like this.

So, what do you think
of my new look?

It's good... Good.
Uh, no, it's good.

I've been partial to
this look for years now.

Well, I always wanted
to be this blonde,

so I thought what the hell,
and I just went for it.

It feels so fresh.

It is fresh.
It's crazy fresh.

Mmm. So what are you guys drinking?

They stopped making
those four years ago.

Yeah. We stockpiled,
they're in the car.

- We should go get them.
- That's a great call.

We'll be... We'll be back.
Well, we... Book!

In related news, police are reporting
that a local woman, Kimberly Gareth,

was killed in her apartment
here at the Ivanhoe,

and then moved
to a field nearby.

There are no suspects
at this time.

We do have the building manager standing by.
Dave, could you come on over?

That is insane.
I gotta call Jules.

Hey. What are you... What
are you guys doing here?

Hey! Hey, hey. Come here, come here.
Come, come, come.

Laura has gone full
Single White Female.

And as the Steven Weber
to your Bridget Fonda,

I am seconds away from taking
a stiletto to the eyeball.

And everyone knows that's
the psycho deathblow!

What on Earth are you
guys talking about?

Laura killed Kimberly so that
you would pick her... Yes. be your
roommate instead.

That is absurd and you know it!
Oh, yeah?

Really? Feast your eyes
on your evil twin.

It's like looking into a fun
house mirror, isn't it?


Shawn, if this is another
one of your stall tactics,

they have got to stop. No.

Excuse me, ma'am. You
forgot your bag at the bar.

Thank you so much.
You see? You see?

Even the waitresses
can't tell you apart.

My God. She must have six IDs
here with different names.

Yeah. Once for each
voice in her head.

She's an identity thief.

With a key to my house.
Our house.

In the middle of our street.
We gotta go.

All of my clothes are gone!

All of them but this!


I guess there is a silver
lining to every tragedy.

Wendy. We've heard this name before.

She lived with
that tasty gal, Wendy.

Kimberly's building manager.

Kimberly's roommate
must have been Laura,

using the alias Wendy

Spitznagle. It's German.
You're German.

Your mama's German.
You're wienie's German.

Stop it, Shawn.
That's disturbing.

No. This is
pure psycho.

Wendy slash Laura moved in with
Kimberly, stole her identity

and killed her!

I mean, she was probably planning
on doing the same thing to you.

On an unrelated note,

she had the hubba-hubbas for me.

Yeah, I think she had those
for a lot of guys, Shawn.

No, I think it was something
very specific about me.

Maybe my
massive pheromones.


Hey, party boy!
Let me guess,

you met Laura earlier
at Chillerz with a "Z."


she gave me her deets, suggested
I come by later.

Well, I hate to break it to
you but she gives her deets

to a lot of guys. Plus,
she's a murderer.


Are you single?


No, she isn't.


This got awkward.

It is a little awkward.

I'm gonna go.


Well, it's getting pretty late.

Gus should probably go home.

And I'll, uh, be crashing
here just in case

Jennifer Jason Leigh
decides to come back.

Nice try, Shawn.

You're not staying here alone.
Absolutely not.

Stop. I am armed, I am trained,

I can take care of myself.

I know, just promise me
you'll be extra careful.

I promise.

Oh, God.

See you this weekend,
little dude.

Woody! Uh, what the...

Hey, you made it!

Sorry about the confusion.
I had to relocate quickly.

What happened
to the beach, man?

First, I had to move the
Airstream to a nearby park

because beach patrol has
a zero tolerance policy

on lightning rods and
amateur glass blowing.

What about the pros?
No, pros are okay.

Then I had to move here
because people at the park

kept lining up at the
window to order food.

I made 40 bucks slinging
PB and J's and then split.

Woody, we're in an alley.

Next to the landfill.

You are right. But
don't worry, buddy.

I've got something that's
gonna make up for it.

You fixed the toilet?


I wrestled up a couple of
cougars from The Owl's Nest,

the hottest dive bar in town.

Maylene, Thumper, this
is my roomie, Shawn.

Hi, Don!

Hell, no.

Come on, roomie.

Fall on the grenade for me
so I can have the other one.

Which one is the grenade?

I don't remember.

Woody, as enticing
as this offer is,

I'm not Tom Sizemore.

Plus, I'm still a little
hung up on Jules.

I don't know how to break
this to you, Shawn,

but I'm pretty sure I saw
Juliet at the Owl's Nest.

She was chatting up
all kinds of guys.

That's impossible, she's at home.
I just...



I gotta call Jules. I gotta
tell her to get over there.

Right, you got it, roomie.

Wish me luck.

Okay, ladies.

Let's talk safe words.

What a pathetic juke joint.

This is where desperate,
lonely people come to die,

one scratchy spin of Against
the Wind at a time.


When did they turn this
over from an Applebee's?

I must be at the wrong spot.


I've never
met that guy.

The usual?

Yeah, you must be thinking
of a different Henry.

One Henry Spencer coming up.

Really? This is what
retirement looks like?

I took a bullet to
the chest, Carlton.

I'm gonna start living life and
I don't need judgments or crap

spewing out of your
happily-married ass, okay?

Speaking of which, Juliet,

I'm so sorry about
you and Shawn. Really.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I've got some flirting to do.

You Spencers
are such a tragic pair.

One's picking up butts
in this ashtray

and the other's wasting
our time on a bad lead.

Laura's not even here.

Wait. I have
an idea.

Hey, so I totally forgot to
pay my tab before I left.

No, babe, you gave me cash.

You back for more?

Where did I go after?

How drunk
are you?

Out back.

You should probably
just walk away.

Best day
off ever.

That's Laura, let's go!

I see her up ahead.

Detectives Lassiter and
O'Hara pursuing a white Jeep

heading southbound
on Roland road.

Requesting back-up
for a felony stop.

She's driving like a mad woman.

How many drinks did she have?

Stay on her tail, she's
still within reach.

Who is this maniac?
They're chasing her too!

Go get 'em!

Where'd they go?

Take that road up
there on the right.

Oh, my God.

Someone went over the bridge.


is when the black SUV
cut us off.

Not a word. It's all
I have to wear.


Anyway, uh, her body
was never found.

So she must have been ejected
through the windshield upon impact.

The only thing we found
in the car was this

pantsuit jacket.

Looks like one
of yours, O'Hara.

Well, that's because it is.


Well, if it makes you
feel any better,

I think Miss Buck's thieving
past has finally come back

to bite her in the ass.

Grifters always have
legions of enemies,

and I'm guessing the driver of this
black Ford was leader of the pack.

They forced her off the
road to get revenge.

All right, I'm gonna examine
all of Laura's fake IDs

and track down
her former roommates.

Maybe one of them
was the driver.

It could at least fill
in some blanks.

Hey, Lassie, run that
dash-cam footage back.

Uh, stop there.

I swear I've seen
that car before.

Hello there, Dave.

Dude, we gotta go talk
to that landlord again.

Could be him.

So, Dave iced Kimberly,

Laura found out and then Dave
ran her right off the road.

Why did you wait till now to
tell me this in the hallway?

Because on the way over,
we were singing Levert.

It was Whodini, Shawn.

Man, you don't know who it was.

- You guys.
- Dave!

Sorry to interrupt you from
being drunk and super sloppy,

but we have one more question.

Do you drive a black Ford?

The only thing I drive
is that Schwinn.

License got revoked back in
the Reagan administration.

Do you know how many
years ago that was?

It was like...

Don't, don't hurt yourself, Dave.

It's not our guy.

So, by chance, do you have
any more info on Wendy?


Oh! Just some leftover mail
that was delivered today.

Let's see here.

No, no.

This looks like a phone bill.

Dude, what are you doing?

You're about to commit
a federal crime.

Dave, my man,

open this puppy for me, huh?

Get in there, son.
All up in there.

Bunch of calls to a 501 number.

Where the hell is that?
Little Rock, Arkansas.

What? One of my favorite bathroom
reads is areas and zips.

"Codes for Code Lovers."

I thought I was lonely.

Laynie! I'm so
sorry we got cut off.

Did you find the locket?
Who is this?

So, Laura is still alive? Yes.

How do you know? Well,
I had a vision,

uh, that one of her old
phone bills

was still lying around
her apartment building.

So, we looked into it
and discovered that

a bunch of calls were made
from a 501 area code.

We called the number and a
very concerned woman answered,

indicating that she'd
just spoken to Laura.

Which means she is still alive

because dead people only
talk on the phone in movies.

Like Cuba Gooding Jr.
In Radio.

No, that's not right, that's
not what that film was about.

Are you sure? Yeah,
Radio was about a...

A mentally challenged
character with huge veneers

who wanted to play football. Oh.


How do you explain what
happened on the bridge?

Well, for starters, she didn't
get run off the bridge.

If the black Ford
had driven her off,

then there would've been, uh,
damage on both sides of the Jeep.

Which there wasn't.

She wanted everyone to
think she had died,

so she went out, she got
liquored up in a public setting

and she drove that Jeep off the
bridge herself, intentionally.

Presumed dead, she's free to
move on to her next scam.

Wow, uh, Shawn.
Saying that you're

vision is correct,

where do you
think Laura is now?

Good question.
But here's the thing,

her name's not Laura.

That very concerned woman on
the phone, lives in Arkansas.

So, guess who else probably
lived there at some point?

Laura. Ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding!

Whose name really isn't Laura.

And guess what the woman
on the phone called her?

She called her Laynie.

Which is probably
her real name.

All right, I'll put in
an APB for Laynie Stromwall,

run a background check.

O'Hara, that search for Laura's
old roommates paid off.

Sarah James, a woman she
lived with in San Diego,

is in interrogation right now.

Great, let's go.

That's how we do it, kid! We
still got our good stuff.


Things got weird

after you left last night.

I don't know, Woody. Things were
already super weird before I left.

You know, things were going
great with me and the gals

until Thumper gave me this
mint that wasn't very minty,

and the next thing I knew,

we were all riding unicorns!

Uh, Woody?

I don't think Thumper gave you a mint.

It sounds like a hallucinogen.

And then when I rode my graceful
woodland creature back,

the Airstream was gone! What?


Woody, they stole our house?


I'm Detective O'Hara.

Thank you for coming all
the way from San Diego.

You're the roommate, right?

What kind of
a roommate was she?

Amazing, actually.
I mean...

Sure she borrowed some
clothes she never gave back,

but she always paid her
share of the rent early.

Took care of the phone bill...

Yeah, she was pretty
low-key for the most part.

The only time she acted strange

was the day she left.

What was strange about it?

Well, early that morning,

we saw this car parked
near our building

and it seemed to rattle her.

And then,

she just up and moved out.

Wait, the car
that you guys saw,

was it a black Ford SUV?

Yes. It was.

O'Hara, we have something. Okay.

Thank you so much, Sarah.
You've been a huge help.

Laynie's background
check is clean.

She's a model citizen.

How can this girl
run so many scams

and not have a single
blemish on her record?

And why would somebody
change their identity

over and over again if they
weren't stealing identities

or running from the law?

Why does Cuba keep doing
such horrible movies?

The dude has an Academy Award.

Let it go, Gus. Boat
Trip, Shawn, Boat Trip.

There's something
about that black car.

The roommate made it sound like
that's the reason she fled San Diego.

Clearly she's
fleeing from someone.

Otherwise, why would
she cut and run

every time that car
comes around?

I was in a serious
relationship once and...

It was a nightmare.

I am sensing that she
is running from her ex.

Guys, this is no longer
Single White Female.

This is Sleeping With
The Enemy.

Running from the ex is the
same thing you sensed

with the Swedish girl,
and you were wrong.

I prefer spiritually misguided.

You know what?
He may be right.

Laynie did mention having
trouble with an ex.

Check this out.

Laura, uh, slash Laynie's
wedding announcement from 2006.

There's no picture
of this Patrick guy.

Is there another newspaper
in Little Rock?

The Daily Herald.

What? After I mastered
area codes,

the next logical
step was local periodicals.

How on earth did you
ever get a girlfriend?

Hey, party boy!

Oh, my God.
Jules, that's...

That's the same guy that came
by your place yesterday.

It says here that his father
is local law enforcement.

Which is why she couldn't
get a restraining order.

And why she was running.

This psycho tracked her down
and killed her roommate

when she wouldn't tell
him where Laynie was.

Laynie, completely desperate,

figured out the only way she
could get rid of him for good.

Appear as if she died.


Is it just me or am I sensing
some of our old chemistry?

It's just you.

Here's a problem,
the APB's already out.

If this Patrick guy
gets wind of it,

he's gonna realize that
she's still alive.

She's probably long gone.

I'm not so sure.

I mean, she could've fled

the second she cleared
out Juliet's place.

Something is keeping her here.

I'm so sorry we got cut off.

Did you find the locket?
Who is this?

I'm sensing she's
looking for something,

uh, very personal,
possibly an heirloom.

Her great-grandmother's

She got very emotional when
she was talking about it.

Any idea where she'd
be looking for it?

Hi, I'm Laura.

Okay, everybody,
class is starting.

Please put your stuff
into your lockers!

Yes! Her locker
at the yoga studio.

That would make sense! She
would take it off to work out.

Maybe she forgot.

Oh, my God.

I love your shirt.

See? I must get a change
of clothes immediately.

Okay, you guys go to the
yoga studio, check it out.

We will all meet back
here for an update.

Copy that.

It's not in here.

You sure this
is Laura's locker?

Yeah, that's hers.

The heat isn't even on.
What's wrong with you?

I'm a sympathetic sweater.

I know.

I'm gonna need that back.


I am so sorry I lied
to you, Juliet.

I've been running
from my husband,

moving from state to state,
always looking over my shoulder.

I haven't had a normal
life in seven years.

And so I try and act like this

happy, normal girl.

I don't even know what
that looks like anymore.

I thought I'd finally be
safe living with a cop.

I didn't mean to involve
you in all of this,

and steal all your clothes,
but I panicked.

I panicked, because I had to
disguise myself right away,

I am so sorry.
Please forgive me.

It's okay. Laynie, it's okay.
You're safe now.

This all ends here, okay?

You don't know what
Patrick's capable of.

That's him.

Jules' cell keeps
going to voice-mail.

I'm gonna try her at home.

You used to live there,

how do you not remember your
own home phone number? Shh!

I put it under...

Oh, my gosh.
It's 555-0135.

How do you remember our
home phone number?

It's a part of the Fibonacci sequence,
how do you not remember it?

What did you just say to me?

You take that back!

It's just...

Damn, it's hot in here.
It's a busy signal.

That's not good.

We gotta get
over there right now.


Or should I say Wendy?

Or Andrea?

Or Katelyn, or Cassidy?

Which one should I call ya?

Oh, please come out, baby.

I've missed you so much.

Life has been
miserable without you.

We were supposed to be
together forever, but then

you left me.

Do you know how
humiliating that was?

Hi, Patrick.

What the hell?

Jules! I'm here!

Don't worry.
I'm coming!

Oh, God.



I thought so.

Are you okay?
Are you okay?

You're so lucky that you're
unconscious right now!

It's all right, ladies.
You're safe now.

It's okay.

Shawn, I can totally have
the landlord do this.

Uh, uh. Jules, if we've
learned anything this week,

it's that landlords are
unsavory individuals.

That and if a mysterious guy
shows up at a suspect's house,

we should probably
ask him a few questions

before sending
him on his merry way.

Oh, hey, I talked to Laynie.

She is on her way to Arkansas

to be with her mom.
She's so happy.

I'm very glad to hear it. Hmm.

Best part is, she's alive.




Maybe your next roommate
will be a little more handy.

No. No more roommates. No.
Not after all this.

Really? I seem to recall, uh...

One roommate in particular
that you were quite fond of.



I think that you are amazing.

And I mean that in a
completely platonic,

unless you don't want
it to be platonic,

because I could make that
happen right now, sort of way.

Seriously, though. You kicked
the crap out of that guy.

I mean, that was old
school, epic Cobra Kai,

"Do you have a problem with
that Mr. Lawrence," dojo style.

I too was impressed
with your...

Investigative work.

That was... It was pretty
spot on, wasn't it?

Yeah. I could have used
a little less of this.

But it was spot on.

Duly noted.

talk to me.

Oh, thank goodness!

He found the Airstream.

I'm not homeless anymore. Ha!

So, where am I going?

Oh, my gosh!

I know, you know
That I'm not telling the truth

I know, you know
They just don't have any proof

Embrace the deception
Learn how to bend

Your worst inhibitions tend
to psych you out in the end

I know, you know