Psych (2006–2014): Season 2, Episode 16 - Shawn (and Gus) of the Dead - full transcript
Shawn is as delighted to get the case of a theft from a bizarre museum as Gus is terrified because the loot is his childhood nightmare: an Egyptian mummy. Meanwhile the precinct is self-absorbed, due the expiration the commissioner's ultimatum to resign unless nominated permanently, yet can't ignore the high-profile murder of tycoon, a major sponsor of the museum, whose board includes his heir William Wyles IV. Shawn claims the mummy walked out, links and solves both cases.
Hon, I'm gonna grab a drink.
- Wanna get me one too, sweetie?
- Okay.
Shawn.
What are you doing?
You were supposed to
be asleep two hours ago.
I was watching.
And then I know I shouldn't, but then...
I didn't want to go back upstairs.
I was scared.
All right.
Now listen, now you know that none of
this is real, right? It's all makebelieve.
People do not become bloodthirsty
monsters after they get shot.
In fact, I've had a lot
of experience in the field
with puncture wounds, and there's no
way a giant dart to the lungs creates
a 6-inch hole visible
from the other side.
- Really?
- No way!
I mean, maybe the blood-engorged
cavity will become purple and expand
and perhaps even
explode... I've seen that.
Look, dead bodies do not walk, son.
Sometimes they suddenly blink
or jolt for a second, but...
Mostly they just wither and smell...
snd drizzle and ooze.
All right, now go to bed.
Sleep tight.
A Museum?
4:00 in the morning for a Museum
and not even the one downtown?
- Hey, the paper come out yet?
- I don't know. They running another
- story on the Wyles death?
- I don't know. Perhaps.
Gosh, I hadn't even thought about that.
Carlton, you're name's been in every article
they've printed since you've reopened the case.
Has it? I try not to read the
papers too much... Very skewed.
No, I was just gonna look at the classified
ads. I mean, you know I've been looking
- for a new bob's big boy, right?
- I got it, Detective.
Press operator from the mirror
gave me an advanced copy.
But there's nothing about
you or Wyles in there.
What? Impossible... I leaked that stuff
about the will getting changed yesterday.
Hey, did you say you were looking
for a big boy, like a full-size?
Go away.
Thing's a rag anyway.
- Security tape, Ms. Bridgewell.
- Hi, I'm Detective O'Hara.
- Sophie.
- Wait, you're the curator?
- Assistant curator.
- I'd like to speak to someone in charge.
- I am in charge.
- She sounds in charge.
- The Mummy room's this way. Please follow me.
- Where's the curator?
He's in Egypt procuring the rest of
this collection, but I assure you...
There's no need. He's been working
all night. Can you catch us up?
This exhibit just opened yesterday.
I don't know how this is possible.
It was a prank or some sort of dare.
It's a 3,000-year-old Mummy
that's missing, officer.
It's Detective and it's not
like it was covered in gold.
I mean he wasn't a king or a
prince or even a royal food taster.
He was just some guy who happened to die, got
himself wrapped up, and was found in a pretty,
cracked box. He probably
mummified himself.
He hasn't had his coffee yet. Has
anyone found the night watchman?
- I'm afraid not.
- Night watchman: Douglas F. Hastings,
47, three counts of felony
burglary on his record.
- Technically, burglary is a felony.
- Two charges dropped.
Don't you people run background checks?
Doug was a very good employee
who's been here seven years.
And we have a complex security system.
Which was due to be
overhauled last spring.
We pushed it back. We have a
very abulic board of Directors.
Good, I'd like to speak with each
one of them as soon as the sun rises.
Now if you'll forgive us, we have several
high-profile cases that don't involve
archaic security systems
in rundown buildings.
O'Hara, put out an apb
on the guard's vehicle,
look up the word "abulic" and
meet us back at the station.
Just a minute! I don't
know who you are, Detective,
but this was no prank.
The alarm was triggered from the inside.
And although our
archaic security footage
was limited to rotating
shots of the four main rooms,
not a single image shows the culprit
or the Mummy being
carried from the building.
She's right. It's all right here.
The mummy disappeared in 15 seconds or
less and our main feed picked up none of it.
This all cracks of something
larger than petty crime.
And not to sound too Shirley McClain,
screams of something potentially...
supernatural.
This requires someone with
skills beyond the normal person.
I want him.
- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do.
Do you think he's up?
Hello?
Jules!
Actually I'm wide awake. Why do you ask?
You want to watch a movie
together over the phone?
Please say it's father of the bride two.
How about Captain Ron?
Pure luck?
You don't have anything
with Martin Short?
Hold on a second.
Well, you don't have to get snippy.
You're the one that drunk-dialed me.
Really?
I just assumed... I
mean, it's 4:25, right?
The Museum?
Are you kidding? They
love me down there.
You see my plaque?
- What's wrong?
- They only put one name on there.
- So?
- So Gus is gonna have an aneurysm,
and not the good kind.
Spencer, we can rehash good times later.
Right now I really need you to create
some semblance of focus.
Missing Mummy, missing
guard, old security system.
Please tell our feisty little assistant curator
that this was not some elaborate break-in
so we can all go home.
Okay, I'll try.
That a real beaver?
- Shawn Spencer.
- I know.
- Sophie Morris Bridgewell.
- I know.
- Everyone certainly loves you down here.
- And I love you...
Metaphorically. What?
You had your shot.
Let me do what I do.
Excuse me, I'll need some space.
Thank you.
Have it.
Have it. Want it.
Have it. Mine's bigger.
- I have a problem.
- What is it?
The layout of this display is horrible.
Who designed this?
It's ridiculous. Really?
We need two of these?
- Queen Nurfurtittie.
- Nefertiti.
I've heard it both ways.
Well?
I'm gonna have to concur with Detective
Carlito Lassiteros on this one.
That Mummy was not
stolen, Ms. Bridgewell.
- Great.
- I'm afraid it walked out...
All on its own.
The Mummy walked out? Come on,
you're just trying to impress
- that pretty little assistant curator.
- Was she pretty? I hadn't noticed.
Really? Brown eyes, languid smile, long
slender neck of a balanchine dancer.
I had three different hairstyles last
week and you didn't comment on one.
Look, I felt that something got up
out of that coffin and walked away,
not to the exit,
but to the body of the museum.
Good, you're here.
All of you in my office.
Sweet, now you got us in trouble.
What I have to say is very... difficult.
If this in any way pertains to Lassiter's
third testicle, I'm afraid we already know.
This is no time for jokes, Mr. Spencer.
When I accepted this
position on an interim basis,
the agreement between myself and
the mayor was should things work out
at an appropriate time, the interim
would be removed from the title.
As you know that has not yet happened.
And recently I gave the mayor a deadline,
a deadline that has passed
without any sort of response.
So effective friday, I'm
stepping down as chief.
- What?
- I'm leaving.
You can't do that! Do they know?
They know.
I'll write a letter.
I'll start a petition.
I'll leak it to the
reporter at the mirror.
O'Hara, please. Thank you.
I appreciate the sentiment,
but the die is cast.
Chief...
Are you sure you don't want to wait
it out just a little bit longer?
- You never...
- No, Mr. Spencer.
So you're saying the job is open. What?
I mean, did anyone mention my name?
I believe they have someone in mind.
But you don't know if it's me.
Look, chief, let me just offer
that I think you're a great chief.
And, I'm sure things will all work out.
That's all for now.
Go.
What are you watching?
Security videos from the Museum.
Videos? As in actual video tapes?
Well, their system
could use an overhaul.
Where are the tapes
from the other cameras?
That's it.
- One tape?
- Yeah, it's on a rotation.
It's actually not a
bad system, you know?
It appears you can't leave the Museum
without getting caught by the cameras.
So it's efficient.
Maybe.
We should, probably check
it out for ourselves, though.
- What say you?
- Sure.
There's one thing you should
probably know before we get there.
"Paleo-sleuth Shawn Spencer."
- I know.
- I dug that thing up too.
Gus, believe me, I was appalled
myself at first... Sickened, really.
But then I noticed, look, the
didn't forget you completely.
- Where?
- There, right there! The "photo by" section.
That says "photo by Bruton Gaster."
Well I gave 'em the info when I was driving
through a tunnel, so that probably played a role.
I want a new plaque,
Shawn. I want it tomorrow.
I want my name in big
yellow letters that blink.
And why won't you even tell me
what this museum case is about?
In time, in time.
Gentlemen, thank you for coming.
Mr. Spencer, very good to see you
again. And you must be Mr. Gastor.
Guster, Burton Guster. You
people ever hear of spell checker?
I was just giving gasty
here all the specifics.
Yes, well the exhibit just opened
yesterday afternoon without a hitch.
- The alarm went off at 3:00 a. m.
- I was here at 5:00.
A. m.? You were not.
- I was, I was working.
- Doing what?
It was a private case. Look, I don't
think we should bore Ms. Bridgewell here
with the complexities of
our other investigations.
You're not tailing cheating
boyfriends again, are you?
- Gus, come on. I'm trying to look cool.
- I told you before, Shawn.
We are bigger than that. We cleared,
like, 50 bucks on the last one.
Gus... psychic-client
privilege and what not? Come on.
- Shall we continue?
- Yes, this way.
- What's wrong with you?
- You stole my picture!
So the bulk of the activity
seems to have occurred in here.
Yes, I can see it.
The lid sliding off the being rising up,
walking across the floor
not unlike an egyptian.
Gus could show you.
- Gus!
- Nope.
- No what?
- You know I'm not walking into that room, Shawn.
Come on, dude. I thought this
was over in the sixth grade.
What's wrong?
He won't break the
plane of the Mummy room.
Why not?
He's afraid of being cursed.
- He's not that far off base really.
- Please don't coddle him.
Every one of those guys that
unearthed tut's tomb... Cursed.
- They're all dead now.
- Of course they are.
That was over 80 years
ago. Come on, man.
This is gonna be good for you.
Walk to me. Face your fears.
You can talk all you want, but facts
and logic will win out this time.
Facts and logic are in the corner of the guy
who thinks he's gonna get his face melted off?
I'm not hearing it, Shawn.
Well you wanted to
check the cameras, right?
Will you set foot in
the security camera room?
This system's actually
better than I thought.
Even if you make it out of one room, you
get picked up in the next room immediately.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna try and beat the system.
Watch me, just on the center
screen. See if I can get out.
- All I gotta do is sit here... fine.
- Yeah, we'll communicate on the phone,
- so give me a call.
- No, you call me. This is my work cell.
- I'm not paying for that call.
- Gus, it's usage minutes.
It doesn't matter which
one of us makes the call.
Just call me, Shawn.
Fine.
I'm sorry, I can't let this go. It's
a monthly plan. It's a minutes plan.
Can we get started with this thing now?
I saw that. Got it on two angles.
Do you want to give
this up any time soon?
You're crawling.
I see you, Shawn.
You're behind the plant.
See you there. See you there.
The plant is moving
across the room, Shawn.
Leave that poor lady alone, Shawn.
You're using the carpet?
Really? Wait a minute... I
almost bought that for a second.
You're using the wolf pelt?
This is like watching entrapment
if instead of Catherine Zeta-Jones
- they had some guy with pancake butt.
- I do not have pancake butt!
- What you got? You got something?
- Yep.
Really? You can see me right now?
- Horrid, Shawny boy.
- Horrid.
Great, now I gotta watch this?
You're muting me?
For the first interesting
thing that's happened?
"Look at me, look at
me. "I love my hair.
"I can make obscure '80s
references "that nobody understands.
"Laugh at me.
"Hey, know something about me?
"I have a motorcycle, but I
never seem to be riding it."
- How about this? Are you seeing this?
- Yep.
- How about now? You see this?
- Terrible.
- How about this? You seeing this?
- If you're gonna hide under a barrel,
don't put the phone next to your ear.
You're getting all of this?
You can see all of this?
Yep.
Whoa, I lost you.
There you are.
Ha! I got you.
For one second, Shawn.
Trying that corner again? Please.
Shawn?
Eh... great.
Now you wore down my battery.
Where are you?
How about now?
Bingo.
I'm sure you can understand, Mr.
Wyles, why I've been so motivated
by what I've uncovered
in this investigation.
Well, all I know, detective, is I certainly
seem to see your name in the paper every day.
Really?
Which paper would that be, because you
know I've missed some of the coverage.
- Can we just get on with what you want?
- Of course. It's really
just more of a formality than anything.
I wasn't even going to call you in today.
I just need to go over a few
bank records and see some papers
- and exhume your father's body.
- I'm sorry. What was that last one?
It's just more of a technical detail
than anything exhuming your father's body.
I mean, you wouldn't even have to be there. I
could have him back in eternal slumber by noon.
1:45 at the latest.
- This place is gonna close soon.
- No, it's not.
Shawn, I was in there forever. Somebody's
shutting off the lights with us in here.
Pretty sure that's a timer.
Why would they set a timer
with people still in here?
'Cause the museum closed 20 minutes ago?
How did they close it with us inside?
Well, remember I said I talked to Sophie
the curator? She's very sweet, by the way.
She loves Red Robin. Isn't that
a strange favorite restaurant.
You're going behind the tarp? Really?
There's an exit behind the tarp?
You're probably gonna be
eaten by carpet beetles.
Look, I discovered a number of intriguing
things when I was figuring out how to crack
the security cameras, including an exhibit
that looked like it had already been
broken into, so what I'm thinking is
whoever did it might come back
because anyone on the inside
knows that there's no
night guard on duty and...
And what?
- Sophie said it was cool.
- What was cool?
Come on, man. Haven't you ever wanted to spend a
night in the museum? You know, do it up with all
the stuffed creatures and the bones?
No, Shawn, I haven't. I can't
spend the night in the museum.
I don't have my tooth brush. I
don't have any of my multivitamins.
And oh, yeah, I don't want my
soul suffering eternal damnation
for disrupting the sleep
of an egyptian canal digger.
Come on, dude!
With hastings on the lam, they're
fresh out of night watchmen.
Sophie was actually quite happy that
I offered. She's taking me to dinner.
What do they have at Red Robin?
Come on, Gus. They didn't get what they were looking
for the first time. Maybe they'll break in again.
We'll be here to catch 'em
red-handed. Won't that be cool?
Dude, there's probably a sensor
of some sort. Take a step back.
Okay, now try it.
- What's on the hill?
- That's freedom, Shawn.
- Does that look like a camera?
- No, no one's gonna leave their camera
- outside in the mist so it can get ruined.
- Looks like a camera to me.
- We caught a break.
- We caught a break.
Hastings, that security guard from the
Museum who's still missing, had a few assault
charges on his record
that never went to trial.
Hastings is way more
violent than we thought.
- And we found the car finally.
- They found his car.
- Yeah, it was in the shop actually.
- But you didn't find him?
No, the shop gave him a loaner. I
just thought I would let you know,
give you a heads up, see if
you come up with anything.
- What kind of car is the loaner?
- Gray GMC pickup.
- Don't be mad.
- Why would I be mad?
I'm locked in a museum with
possibly a violent criminal
and probably an angry Mummy spirit.
And here's a bonus: we have no phones.
- I told you to charge that phone.
- You did not.
I didn't?
Does thinking it count?
They might have a snack bar.
You know, maybe that
truck wasn't gray, dude.
Maybe it was, like, a deep midnight blue
or a black or a nicekelly green.
It's hard to know for sure.
You know, the cones in the eyes
make it possible to see at night.
I know how the eyes work, Shawn. I just
hope I still have mine in the morning.
- Where exactly are we?
- He's here.
He's gonna come back.
He's gonna kill us.
Dude, I never said
Hastings stole the thing.
No, you think the
actual Mummy walked out.
That makes me feel better.
Don't go all "glass half empty" on
me. Let me show you what I found.
What is wrong. With this flag?
Everything.
- Besides that.
- I don't know.
- It's upside-down. - And
backwards. What's your point?
It's dust gathered on
the bottom of the frame.
That means somebody eitherturned
it upside-down or knocked it over.
Whoa,
I lost you for a second. There you are.
And this little nook
is not in camera range.
It's not a nook.
What would you call it?
It's clearly not a corner.
Cranny? Will you sign off on Cranny?
- Why am I here, Shawn?
- Because
somebody didn't want the camera to
see what ever happened in this Cranny.
- I never signed off on Cranny.
- There's nothing here, Gus.
It's just a bunch of old guns.
And not even nice ones at that.
The lexan glass case that
houses it is worth more.
- Lexan glass?
- Yeah, it's bullet proof.
Well, it would have to be in case
the guns decided to fire them selves.
Lexan glass.
What?
That's common know ledge,
Shawn. People know that.
Who, people in Charlton Heston's house?
Yes, and your Mama.
Did you hear that?
Nobody's here but us.
I tried, Shawn. I can't do this.
Gus, don't bea traveling wilbury.
- Look, Christine's here.
- Will you stop it, Shawn?
Relax, it's not eventhe right color.
Dude.
We have got to get one
of these for the office.
How much you think these things run?
- I don't know.
- How heavy are they?
That was actually kind of scary, Gus.
Come on, dude! It's just
the motor on the fridge!
Of course, why would an
exhibit be plugged in?
The sign says do not touch, Shawn.
Not anymore.
- It's stuck, though.
- It's supposed to be stuck.
To keep people like you out.
People who what?
People who spend the night in
Museums to investigate Mummies
that may have walked out on their own?
You are here.
What are you doing?
Bidding for Talismans.
Talismen.
I don't care what they're called, Shawn.
I'm acquiring protection for the spiritual
injustice we caused in the Museum.
- You can buy wolfsbane online?
- In bulk.
Now I just gotta find
somebody to Loan me a cat.
- You got McNabb's number?
- Come on, Gus.
I thought that, at the very
least, finding the guard dead would
help you jump on the band wagon that,
hey, this is a real flesh and blood killer.
He was killed by the Mummy, Shawn.
You don't know that. You have no proof.
Okay, fine, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't
tell you I signed us up for night guard duty.
And I'm sorry I didn't tell
you there was a Mummy involved.
But we have a legitimate trail now.
The cops are taking this seriously.
I need you! I need the sweet
blue shirt, I need the pants.
I need the winsome smile that
hides the sad Jamaican clown inside.
We need to call Lassiter and we
are not going back to the Museum.
No more Mummy room,
no more Spooky stuff.
I promise.
He's exhuming a body?
He is casually disturbing what should be
the passing of a great and dignified man.
Yeah, he does that.
White socks, black shoes.
What's the rule on that? Don't you have
to be wearing jeans? What's the rule?
Come on dude. I honestly had no idea he was
gonna be pulling a corpse from the ground.
Don't worry about it, Shawn.
I honestly didn't know I was gonna
be putting my foot in your ass.
Life's full of surprises.
I got the coroner's report
on the guard Hastings.
At least stay for this, see how
silly it is to be afraid of Mummies.
What do you got, Jules?
- You're not gonna like it.
- We're not gonna like it.
- I'm sure we'll be able to make something of it.
- Hastings was strangled to death.
No magic involved there. And
correct me if I'm wrong Jules,
but you can actually get fingerprints
off strangulation victims.
- I'm afraid that's not possible.
- Why is that?
The hand was wrapped
in some sort of cloth.
Cloth?
There were linen fibers
embedded into the guard's neck.
Clearly that was just
to cover his prints.
We also found dust and spores
that weren't from this area.
Well, maybe the cleaning
crew didn't come around.
Only if they didn't come
around for over 3,000 years.
The spores came from inside the coffin.
Thanks, Jules.
Finally!
Finally what?
- I've been leaving message son your phone.
- Yeah, I sor tof dropped my phone.
Yeah, what'd I tell youa bout
taking care of your stuff?
You know what? You're right. First
my tricycle out in the yard, now this.
- I see a pattern developing here.
- All right, look, Shawn,
I was hoping we could talk alone.
No offense, Gus.
- Di!
- No no, don't you dare.
We are here to talk to
you and this is urgent.
- So is mine.
- Ours involves a dead guy.
- Why do you always have to win, Shawn?
- 'Cause we're winners.
Fine, what is it? Go ahead.
Okay,
what do you do when your best suspect.
Sort of, just.
- Say it, Shawn.
- Doesn't exist
anymore?
People disappear all the time,
Shawn. Some are very good at it.
Especially a career criminal.
Yeah, this is a little more complicated.
Look, it doesn't matter who
you're talking about here, Shawn.
But when the trail goes cold,
you do what every good cop does.
You follow the time line. You trace back
the steps that led to the trail going cold.
- Back ground check.
- Exactly.
Perfect. Perfect, dad!
But I wanna see you later, without Gus.
I need to talk to you.
Okay, what is this?
What is all this "without Gus"
stuff? I mean, it's Gus. Just say it.
- Say what it is. What is it?
- Okay. All right.
I got a phone calla
couple of days ago and...
I don't know if you
have any plans, but...
Are you busy on saturday?
You want me to come with
you to awkward class?
Forget it.
See ya!
Detectives, that's very thoughtful of you,
but I just don't want youto make a big fuss.
We are not going to make a fuss.
Detective Lassiter and I just ant
to throw you a going away party.
It's going to be very...
William Wyles the beud.
It was formerly believed
that Wyles' death was due
to an accidental fall down the
stairs of his Montecito home.
But now a former employee
has come forward to say.
she heard loud arguing coming from the
Wyles's study the night of his death.
Contrary to the belief that
Wyles was alone the night he died.
Santa Barbara police
detective Carlton Lassiter,
who's been leading this investigation,
was unavailable for comment.
Unavailable for comment?
I've been here all day.
Who's not giving me my messages?
Cupcakes.
Right, of course.
With little cuffs on them.
And, sprinkles.
We're really gonna miss you.
Wyles, who became a publishing
magnate at the age of 30,
was one of Santa Barbara's
leading philanthropists
and a major contributor
to political campaigns.
As well as a well-known
collector of war Memorabilia.
At his height, he owned more than 30...
- How's the back ground check coming?
- Just finished.
Rahm Entottem lived during
the 19th dy Nasty of Egypt.
Probably near Giza.
He had 11 sons, all of whom
spent their days smelting metal
from the orealong the banks of the Nile.
Smelters?
Perhaps you misunderstood.
We don't care what he
did when he was living.
Only since he's been a Mummy.
Let's do this.
First, he was on display
for six months in Cincinnati.
He didn't kill anybody there.
Then he was on Loan, Plano, Texas.
Nobody had their eyes or
internal organs stolen there.
- What's that?
- It's a bowl of Chili.
- And who's that up there?
- It's Austin kerns. Would you pay attention?
Then he was transported
for two days by truck,
spent the evening in
the Museum ware house,
and boom, was on display
first thing the next morning.
Mine's Better.
Yeah, but mine's something
sensible that people might utilize.
So you'rethe sensible one now?
- More and more lately.
- Okay.
All right, let's work back wards.
We just did.
This is as close as
I get to that Museum.
I know. Quick, put that on.
My name is Shawn Spencer. I'm
working with Sophie and the Museum.
This is my partner Paddy Simcox.
We're wondering if there's any documentation
on the arrival of the rock 'em sock 'em Mummy.
Rahmentottem.
Or has there been any instances of
things exploding for no apparent reason?
I don't know nothing.
- And I don't think you guys should be in here.
- Right.
Perhaps I'll call Sophie and let her
know you're not being very helpful.
Listen, all I have security
access for is this room.
Well, then let us know what happens
here, man! Here at the docks!
Fine, it's simple.
That thing shows up, a Museum
rep comes and does an inspection.
And then we put it out on the floor.
I wish that there was
more that I could tell you.
Dude, it's a tripod.
I told you that was a tripod.
With a camera. Coming back.
Hey, wait up!
What are you doing?
Left your keys in the trunk lock.
I'm sorry. I know I promised not to shoot
there. I know you guys said you'd call the cops,
but I just need one more night
for my project to be done.
- Your project?
- My film project.
- Aren't you guys with the...
- Yes, we are.
- With who?
- Who ever you think we're with.
- The Museum?
- Yes, exactly. And you are a film student?
Yes, working on night cycle.
It's my thesis project.
It's just the life cycle of a
wild flower at the top of the hill.
- The name of your film is night cycle?
- What's wrong with that?
Well, it's kind of boring.
Unless it's about a motorcycle
that comes to life at night and
solves crime and does sweet whee lies.
Listen,
I alread y told the guy in the Jumpsuit. I mean,
you could barely see the Museum in the background.
- I just needed to frame it up that way.
- You have foot age of the Museum.
Yeah, but it won't infringe on
anyone's copyright, I can guarantee it.
Do you have stuff from tuesday night?
Yeah, but not on me.
Here it is.
A standard video camera
runs at 30 frames per second.
- Yeah, we know that.
- How would we know that?
It's common know ledge, Shawn.
And technically it's 29.97.
Unless you're working in HD, then
it's 23.98 partially segmented frames.
Regard less, for time lapse I
set it for one frames for minute.
So everything moves faster.
- 30 times faster.
- 1,800 times faster.
- I knew that. I was testing you.
- Sure you did.
Okay Guys, what are we
looking for here, exactly?
It's pretty simple.
A crime occurre dat the Museum
on this particular evening.
We just wanna know if your camera caught
any foot age of it. It's nothing too crazy.
And most likely there's a crazed Mummy out
and about strangling people willy-nilly.
Yes. And that.
This is 3:00 am.
Slow it down here.
This is kind of exciting.
Holy crap. Gus, can you believe it?
Gus?
He's a little scared of Mummies.
Dude, it's just a film!
- Video.
- Even better.
No one can reach through
the screen and grab you.
That's so weird.
We only saw him for one frame and then,
you know, he walked out and poof.
He's gone.
Wait.
The lights on the van.
Dude, he took that van.
The Mummy?
Great.
Now we got a Mummy on the loose and the
son of a bitch know show to drive a stick?
- Now we know how he got away.
- We need to call the Police.
No, not yet.
- I've seen that van.
- You know where it is?
Unless it's moved in
the last two hours, I do.
What the. Dude, I told you it was here.
I told you I saw it!
What are you doing? Turning
the cararound, Shawn.
Dude, she's not even gonna be in
California by the time we get out of here.
Just keep turning the wheel!
- I don't wanna hit anything, Shawn!
- This is a company car.
Dude, you got it. You
clearly had it after the se...
Really?
The 11-point turn, dude?
This is a prime example of a
situation best handled by the Police.
- Or a witch doctor.
- It's not a Mummy, Gus.
You keep saying that, and
it keeps coming up Mummy.
No way he makes that turn.
Slow down.
He hit a tree.
- Let's go get him.
- I'm not getting out there.
Dude, they hit a tree.
Who ever they are, they're not
moving. They're incapacitated.
They could be hurt, maybe even dead.
Maybe undead.
- They might need our help.
- Or our internal organs!
- Let's call the police.
- With whose phone?
All right, fine.
I'm bringing my bat.
Grab some flash lights.
Shawn, I think...
I think this may be the most
terrifying moment of my life.
You're confronting it head on.
I'm so proud of you, buddy.
I think I just saw someone
running away in the woods.
Look!
That door's cracked!
I don't think anybody's here.
How sure are you?
Fairly to pretty damn.
Good, because I don't
think I can take one more.
Shawn?
I am telling you, Carly town,
you gotta come with uson this!
And I'm telling you, I'm about to
solve the biggest case of my career.
So which do you think I'd rather do?
The old man didn't die
from a fall down the stairs.
Initial findings indicate he had blunt
force trauma to his head before he fell.
So unless you've gota psychic answer
for that, you guys can run along.
Crud. Now Wyles isn't
answering his phone.
I have the final coroner's
report on that exhumed body.
It was definitely a head trauma.
And it turns out that unidentified matter
found in his skull was a chip of ivory.
Great.
But I have the best reveal ever.
Spencer, we'll get to your
little mummy thing later.
Quite honestly, I only took the case
because Wyles IV is on the board of trustees.
I thought I could do a little
snooping, but all I got was dead ends.
I can solve both cases!
- You can what?
- Lassie, call Wyles on his cell phone.
He'll pick that up because he's
not at home. Dude, we got it.
- Oh, we are good!
- Then meet us at the Museum.
Why can't they just meet
usat a well-lit Starbucks?
One more time, buddy. For justice.
- Why am I here?
- You'll find out soon enough.
But whatever it is, I'm
taking full credit for it.
Just cooperate with us, Mr. Wyles.
Things don't look very
good for you right now.
- Yeah, well, I'll have your job.
- Well, it's too late for that.
Someone else already does.
Shawn!
Don't worry, Sophie.
I'm being very gentle.
I laid down a blanket and everything.
Not my first time alone in a coffin.
By the way.
Playing dead, awesome.
- What is this nonsense?
- He's solving a case.
Actually, I'm solving two cases.
But let's take them one at a time.
First, a being did
rise from this coffin.
And walk out of the
museum on tuesday night.
Strangled poor Hastings, may he
rest in peace, with his bare hands.
Correction,
- linen-wrapped
hands. - Thank you.
I was the first one to
say that it was a Mummy.
But that being was not the mummy.
- Rub-my-bottom.
- Rahmentottem.
That mummy never made
it into the museum.
No, that mummy never made it out
of the white van in the parking lot.
It was swapped out by an angry
warehouse foreman on wheels.
It was all part of
an elaborate break-in.
This is absolute insanity.
An interesting choice of words. I
thought for sure you'd say genius.
- Well, why would I say genius?
- Because it was your plan.
My plan?
You're the one that got into
the snuffalupagus wrapped in
just enough tea-stained linen to look
like a mummy through the cracked lid.
You needed to get those
pistols back, didn't you?
Yeah, the ones that used to be at the
top of the stairs in your father's house.
Especially that one with
the chipped ivory handle.
- Which.
- Which was the murder weapon!
Come on, Lass. A little
consideration, please? I mean, look.
I'm going all out with the cloth
and thing here. I'm doing my thing.
- Detectives.
- You knocked your father
on the head with that pistol,
let him fall to his death,
and then ran out and waited
for somebody else to find him.
And the pistol got willed to the Museum.
That's why you worked so hard
to get that exhibit closed.
And delayed the installation
of the new security system.
He couldn't get his way into the display.
But he needed to be in the Museum.
You have been a busy
little boy, haven't you?
I believe you will be my final
Santa Barbara arrest, Mr. Wyles.
Put your hands behind your back, sir.
Nice, nice... but guys, check
it out. There's more, right?
He tilted the camera so
that he wouldn't be visible.
He... he strangled Hastings
so there wouldn't be a witness!
I saw him run away in the forest!
Gus?
Is there any chance at all you'll stay?
No.
But I'm sure we'll
see each other around.
Look, I knew the mayor wanted Raymond Sauter
for the job. He's an old friend of his.
But Sauter didn't become
available until recently.
So I did what I had to do.
Look, I'm sure Sauter
will do a fine job.
Are you sure you'll have a use for this?
Dude, you're being kind of insensitive.
She'll be fine.
Phone. It's the mayor.
Yes, sir?
Well, yes. But...
Of course. Yes, that's...
Sir, you don't have to beg.
You are begging.
As of now?
Okay.
- I'm the new chief.
- Not interim?
Don't you dare call me that again.
Oh, my god, what
happened? What did he say?
- I honestly have no idea.
- I think I do.
What's this?
Bumped my arrest to page two.
Congratulations, Karen.
Thank you.
- We should have a party!
- We should definitely have a party.
- We have all the party accoutrements!
- Just go get some party gear
and just open some crackers
and a bottle of something.
Shawn, are you sure you didn't get
some sort of special message this week?
Dad, I told you, I dropped
my phone. Now, I gotta go.
No no, Shawn! Look, there's something I
gotta get off my chest before you leave here!
Dad, I don't know if you just read the
secret or watched an emotional Oprah or what.
But I don't think we're ready
to open our souls to each other.
- Well, we have no choice, kid.
- But we do, and it's good.
Because what we have is simple
and shallow and unobtrusive.
So let's have this conversation when
you're 90 and maybe on an oxygen tank.
'Cause I have a date with
a woman who runs a Museum.
- And that's new for me.
- No, Shawn!
- Please, no!
- It just feels good.
You know what, I'll grab the
door for you on my way out!
Mom.
- Wanna get me one too, sweetie?
- Okay.
Shawn.
What are you doing?
You were supposed to
be asleep two hours ago.
I was watching.
And then I know I shouldn't, but then...
I didn't want to go back upstairs.
I was scared.
All right.
Now listen, now you know that none of
this is real, right? It's all makebelieve.
People do not become bloodthirsty
monsters after they get shot.
In fact, I've had a lot
of experience in the field
with puncture wounds, and there's no
way a giant dart to the lungs creates
a 6-inch hole visible
from the other side.
- Really?
- No way!
I mean, maybe the blood-engorged
cavity will become purple and expand
and perhaps even
explode... I've seen that.
Look, dead bodies do not walk, son.
Sometimes they suddenly blink
or jolt for a second, but...
Mostly they just wither and smell...
snd drizzle and ooze.
All right, now go to bed.
Sleep tight.
A Museum?
4:00 in the morning for a Museum
and not even the one downtown?
- Hey, the paper come out yet?
- I don't know. They running another
- story on the Wyles death?
- I don't know. Perhaps.
Gosh, I hadn't even thought about that.
Carlton, you're name's been in every article
they've printed since you've reopened the case.
Has it? I try not to read the
papers too much... Very skewed.
No, I was just gonna look at the classified
ads. I mean, you know I've been looking
- for a new bob's big boy, right?
- I got it, Detective.
Press operator from the mirror
gave me an advanced copy.
But there's nothing about
you or Wyles in there.
What? Impossible... I leaked that stuff
about the will getting changed yesterday.
Hey, did you say you were looking
for a big boy, like a full-size?
Go away.
Thing's a rag anyway.
- Security tape, Ms. Bridgewell.
- Hi, I'm Detective O'Hara.
- Sophie.
- Wait, you're the curator?
- Assistant curator.
- I'd like to speak to someone in charge.
- I am in charge.
- She sounds in charge.
- The Mummy room's this way. Please follow me.
- Where's the curator?
He's in Egypt procuring the rest of
this collection, but I assure you...
There's no need. He's been working
all night. Can you catch us up?
This exhibit just opened yesterday.
I don't know how this is possible.
It was a prank or some sort of dare.
It's a 3,000-year-old Mummy
that's missing, officer.
It's Detective and it's not
like it was covered in gold.
I mean he wasn't a king or a
prince or even a royal food taster.
He was just some guy who happened to die, got
himself wrapped up, and was found in a pretty,
cracked box. He probably
mummified himself.
He hasn't had his coffee yet. Has
anyone found the night watchman?
- I'm afraid not.
- Night watchman: Douglas F. Hastings,
47, three counts of felony
burglary on his record.
- Technically, burglary is a felony.
- Two charges dropped.
Don't you people run background checks?
Doug was a very good employee
who's been here seven years.
And we have a complex security system.
Which was due to be
overhauled last spring.
We pushed it back. We have a
very abulic board of Directors.
Good, I'd like to speak with each
one of them as soon as the sun rises.
Now if you'll forgive us, we have several
high-profile cases that don't involve
archaic security systems
in rundown buildings.
O'Hara, put out an apb
on the guard's vehicle,
look up the word "abulic" and
meet us back at the station.
Just a minute! I don't
know who you are, Detective,
but this was no prank.
The alarm was triggered from the inside.
And although our
archaic security footage
was limited to rotating
shots of the four main rooms,
not a single image shows the culprit
or the Mummy being
carried from the building.
She's right. It's all right here.
The mummy disappeared in 15 seconds or
less and our main feed picked up none of it.
This all cracks of something
larger than petty crime.
And not to sound too Shirley McClain,
screams of something potentially...
supernatural.
This requires someone with
skills beyond the normal person.
I want him.
- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do.
Do you think he's up?
Hello?
Jules!
Actually I'm wide awake. Why do you ask?
You want to watch a movie
together over the phone?
Please say it's father of the bride two.
How about Captain Ron?
Pure luck?
You don't have anything
with Martin Short?
Hold on a second.
Well, you don't have to get snippy.
You're the one that drunk-dialed me.
Really?
I just assumed... I
mean, it's 4:25, right?
The Museum?
Are you kidding? They
love me down there.
You see my plaque?
- What's wrong?
- They only put one name on there.
- So?
- So Gus is gonna have an aneurysm,
and not the good kind.
Spencer, we can rehash good times later.
Right now I really need you to create
some semblance of focus.
Missing Mummy, missing
guard, old security system.
Please tell our feisty little assistant curator
that this was not some elaborate break-in
so we can all go home.
Okay, I'll try.
That a real beaver?
- Shawn Spencer.
- I know.
- Sophie Morris Bridgewell.
- I know.
- Everyone certainly loves you down here.
- And I love you...
Metaphorically. What?
You had your shot.
Let me do what I do.
Excuse me, I'll need some space.
Thank you.
Have it.
Have it. Want it.
Have it. Mine's bigger.
- I have a problem.
- What is it?
The layout of this display is horrible.
Who designed this?
It's ridiculous. Really?
We need two of these?
- Queen Nurfurtittie.
- Nefertiti.
I've heard it both ways.
Well?
I'm gonna have to concur with Detective
Carlito Lassiteros on this one.
That Mummy was not
stolen, Ms. Bridgewell.
- Great.
- I'm afraid it walked out...
All on its own.
The Mummy walked out? Come on,
you're just trying to impress
- that pretty little assistant curator.
- Was she pretty? I hadn't noticed.
Really? Brown eyes, languid smile, long
slender neck of a balanchine dancer.
I had three different hairstyles last
week and you didn't comment on one.
Look, I felt that something got up
out of that coffin and walked away,
not to the exit,
but to the body of the museum.
Good, you're here.
All of you in my office.
Sweet, now you got us in trouble.
What I have to say is very... difficult.
If this in any way pertains to Lassiter's
third testicle, I'm afraid we already know.
This is no time for jokes, Mr. Spencer.
When I accepted this
position on an interim basis,
the agreement between myself and
the mayor was should things work out
at an appropriate time, the interim
would be removed from the title.
As you know that has not yet happened.
And recently I gave the mayor a deadline,
a deadline that has passed
without any sort of response.
So effective friday, I'm
stepping down as chief.
- What?
- I'm leaving.
You can't do that! Do they know?
They know.
I'll write a letter.
I'll start a petition.
I'll leak it to the
reporter at the mirror.
O'Hara, please. Thank you.
I appreciate the sentiment,
but the die is cast.
Chief...
Are you sure you don't want to wait
it out just a little bit longer?
- You never...
- No, Mr. Spencer.
So you're saying the job is open. What?
I mean, did anyone mention my name?
I believe they have someone in mind.
But you don't know if it's me.
Look, chief, let me just offer
that I think you're a great chief.
And, I'm sure things will all work out.
That's all for now.
Go.
What are you watching?
Security videos from the Museum.
Videos? As in actual video tapes?
Well, their system
could use an overhaul.
Where are the tapes
from the other cameras?
That's it.
- One tape?
- Yeah, it's on a rotation.
It's actually not a
bad system, you know?
It appears you can't leave the Museum
without getting caught by the cameras.
So it's efficient.
Maybe.
We should, probably check
it out for ourselves, though.
- What say you?
- Sure.
There's one thing you should
probably know before we get there.
"Paleo-sleuth Shawn Spencer."
- I know.
- I dug that thing up too.
Gus, believe me, I was appalled
myself at first... Sickened, really.
But then I noticed, look, the
didn't forget you completely.
- Where?
- There, right there! The "photo by" section.
That says "photo by Bruton Gaster."
Well I gave 'em the info when I was driving
through a tunnel, so that probably played a role.
I want a new plaque,
Shawn. I want it tomorrow.
I want my name in big
yellow letters that blink.
And why won't you even tell me
what this museum case is about?
In time, in time.
Gentlemen, thank you for coming.
Mr. Spencer, very good to see you
again. And you must be Mr. Gastor.
Guster, Burton Guster. You
people ever hear of spell checker?
I was just giving gasty
here all the specifics.
Yes, well the exhibit just opened
yesterday afternoon without a hitch.
- The alarm went off at 3:00 a. m.
- I was here at 5:00.
A. m.? You were not.
- I was, I was working.
- Doing what?
It was a private case. Look, I don't
think we should bore Ms. Bridgewell here
with the complexities of
our other investigations.
You're not tailing cheating
boyfriends again, are you?
- Gus, come on. I'm trying to look cool.
- I told you before, Shawn.
We are bigger than that. We cleared,
like, 50 bucks on the last one.
Gus... psychic-client
privilege and what not? Come on.
- Shall we continue?
- Yes, this way.
- What's wrong with you?
- You stole my picture!
So the bulk of the activity
seems to have occurred in here.
Yes, I can see it.
The lid sliding off the being rising up,
walking across the floor
not unlike an egyptian.
Gus could show you.
- Gus!
- Nope.
- No what?
- You know I'm not walking into that room, Shawn.
Come on, dude. I thought this
was over in the sixth grade.
What's wrong?
He won't break the
plane of the Mummy room.
Why not?
He's afraid of being cursed.
- He's not that far off base really.
- Please don't coddle him.
Every one of those guys that
unearthed tut's tomb... Cursed.
- They're all dead now.
- Of course they are.
That was over 80 years
ago. Come on, man.
This is gonna be good for you.
Walk to me. Face your fears.
You can talk all you want, but facts
and logic will win out this time.
Facts and logic are in the corner of the guy
who thinks he's gonna get his face melted off?
I'm not hearing it, Shawn.
Well you wanted to
check the cameras, right?
Will you set foot in
the security camera room?
This system's actually
better than I thought.
Even if you make it out of one room, you
get picked up in the next room immediately.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna try and beat the system.
Watch me, just on the center
screen. See if I can get out.
- All I gotta do is sit here... fine.
- Yeah, we'll communicate on the phone,
- so give me a call.
- No, you call me. This is my work cell.
- I'm not paying for that call.
- Gus, it's usage minutes.
It doesn't matter which
one of us makes the call.
Just call me, Shawn.
Fine.
I'm sorry, I can't let this go. It's
a monthly plan. It's a minutes plan.
Can we get started with this thing now?
I saw that. Got it on two angles.
Do you want to give
this up any time soon?
You're crawling.
I see you, Shawn.
You're behind the plant.
See you there. See you there.
The plant is moving
across the room, Shawn.
Leave that poor lady alone, Shawn.
You're using the carpet?
Really? Wait a minute... I
almost bought that for a second.
You're using the wolf pelt?
This is like watching entrapment
if instead of Catherine Zeta-Jones
- they had some guy with pancake butt.
- I do not have pancake butt!
- What you got? You got something?
- Yep.
Really? You can see me right now?
- Horrid, Shawny boy.
- Horrid.
Great, now I gotta watch this?
You're muting me?
For the first interesting
thing that's happened?
"Look at me, look at
me. "I love my hair.
"I can make obscure '80s
references "that nobody understands.
"Laugh at me.
"Hey, know something about me?
"I have a motorcycle, but I
never seem to be riding it."
- How about this? Are you seeing this?
- Yep.
- How about now? You see this?
- Terrible.
- How about this? You seeing this?
- If you're gonna hide under a barrel,
don't put the phone next to your ear.
You're getting all of this?
You can see all of this?
Yep.
Whoa, I lost you.
There you are.
Ha! I got you.
For one second, Shawn.
Trying that corner again? Please.
Shawn?
Eh... great.
Now you wore down my battery.
Where are you?
How about now?
Bingo.
I'm sure you can understand, Mr.
Wyles, why I've been so motivated
by what I've uncovered
in this investigation.
Well, all I know, detective, is I certainly
seem to see your name in the paper every day.
Really?
Which paper would that be, because you
know I've missed some of the coverage.
- Can we just get on with what you want?
- Of course. It's really
just more of a formality than anything.
I wasn't even going to call you in today.
I just need to go over a few
bank records and see some papers
- and exhume your father's body.
- I'm sorry. What was that last one?
It's just more of a technical detail
than anything exhuming your father's body.
I mean, you wouldn't even have to be there. I
could have him back in eternal slumber by noon.
1:45 at the latest.
- This place is gonna close soon.
- No, it's not.
Shawn, I was in there forever. Somebody's
shutting off the lights with us in here.
Pretty sure that's a timer.
Why would they set a timer
with people still in here?
'Cause the museum closed 20 minutes ago?
How did they close it with us inside?
Well, remember I said I talked to Sophie
the curator? She's very sweet, by the way.
She loves Red Robin. Isn't that
a strange favorite restaurant.
You're going behind the tarp? Really?
There's an exit behind the tarp?
You're probably gonna be
eaten by carpet beetles.
Look, I discovered a number of intriguing
things when I was figuring out how to crack
the security cameras, including an exhibit
that looked like it had already been
broken into, so what I'm thinking is
whoever did it might come back
because anyone on the inside
knows that there's no
night guard on duty and...
And what?
- Sophie said it was cool.
- What was cool?
Come on, man. Haven't you ever wanted to spend a
night in the museum? You know, do it up with all
the stuffed creatures and the bones?
No, Shawn, I haven't. I can't
spend the night in the museum.
I don't have my tooth brush. I
don't have any of my multivitamins.
And oh, yeah, I don't want my
soul suffering eternal damnation
for disrupting the sleep
of an egyptian canal digger.
Come on, dude!
With hastings on the lam, they're
fresh out of night watchmen.
Sophie was actually quite happy that
I offered. She's taking me to dinner.
What do they have at Red Robin?
Come on, Gus. They didn't get what they were looking
for the first time. Maybe they'll break in again.
We'll be here to catch 'em
red-handed. Won't that be cool?
Dude, there's probably a sensor
of some sort. Take a step back.
Okay, now try it.
- What's on the hill?
- That's freedom, Shawn.
- Does that look like a camera?
- No, no one's gonna leave their camera
- outside in the mist so it can get ruined.
- Looks like a camera to me.
- We caught a break.
- We caught a break.
Hastings, that security guard from the
Museum who's still missing, had a few assault
charges on his record
that never went to trial.
Hastings is way more
violent than we thought.
- And we found the car finally.
- They found his car.
- Yeah, it was in the shop actually.
- But you didn't find him?
No, the shop gave him a loaner. I
just thought I would let you know,
give you a heads up, see if
you come up with anything.
- What kind of car is the loaner?
- Gray GMC pickup.
- Don't be mad.
- Why would I be mad?
I'm locked in a museum with
possibly a violent criminal
and probably an angry Mummy spirit.
And here's a bonus: we have no phones.
- I told you to charge that phone.
- You did not.
I didn't?
Does thinking it count?
They might have a snack bar.
You know, maybe that
truck wasn't gray, dude.
Maybe it was, like, a deep midnight blue
or a black or a nicekelly green.
It's hard to know for sure.
You know, the cones in the eyes
make it possible to see at night.
I know how the eyes work, Shawn. I just
hope I still have mine in the morning.
- Where exactly are we?
- He's here.
He's gonna come back.
He's gonna kill us.
Dude, I never said
Hastings stole the thing.
No, you think the
actual Mummy walked out.
That makes me feel better.
Don't go all "glass half empty" on
me. Let me show you what I found.
What is wrong. With this flag?
Everything.
- Besides that.
- I don't know.
- It's upside-down. - And
backwards. What's your point?
It's dust gathered on
the bottom of the frame.
That means somebody eitherturned
it upside-down or knocked it over.
Whoa,
I lost you for a second. There you are.
And this little nook
is not in camera range.
It's not a nook.
What would you call it?
It's clearly not a corner.
Cranny? Will you sign off on Cranny?
- Why am I here, Shawn?
- Because
somebody didn't want the camera to
see what ever happened in this Cranny.
- I never signed off on Cranny.
- There's nothing here, Gus.
It's just a bunch of old guns.
And not even nice ones at that.
The lexan glass case that
houses it is worth more.
- Lexan glass?
- Yeah, it's bullet proof.
Well, it would have to be in case
the guns decided to fire them selves.
Lexan glass.
What?
That's common know ledge,
Shawn. People know that.
Who, people in Charlton Heston's house?
Yes, and your Mama.
Did you hear that?
Nobody's here but us.
I tried, Shawn. I can't do this.
Gus, don't bea traveling wilbury.
- Look, Christine's here.
- Will you stop it, Shawn?
Relax, it's not eventhe right color.
Dude.
We have got to get one
of these for the office.
How much you think these things run?
- I don't know.
- How heavy are they?
That was actually kind of scary, Gus.
Come on, dude! It's just
the motor on the fridge!
Of course, why would an
exhibit be plugged in?
The sign says do not touch, Shawn.
Not anymore.
- It's stuck, though.
- It's supposed to be stuck.
To keep people like you out.
People who what?
People who spend the night in
Museums to investigate Mummies
that may have walked out on their own?
You are here.
What are you doing?
Bidding for Talismans.
Talismen.
I don't care what they're called, Shawn.
I'm acquiring protection for the spiritual
injustice we caused in the Museum.
- You can buy wolfsbane online?
- In bulk.
Now I just gotta find
somebody to Loan me a cat.
- You got McNabb's number?
- Come on, Gus.
I thought that, at the very
least, finding the guard dead would
help you jump on the band wagon that,
hey, this is a real flesh and blood killer.
He was killed by the Mummy, Shawn.
You don't know that. You have no proof.
Okay, fine, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't
tell you I signed us up for night guard duty.
And I'm sorry I didn't tell
you there was a Mummy involved.
But we have a legitimate trail now.
The cops are taking this seriously.
I need you! I need the sweet
blue shirt, I need the pants.
I need the winsome smile that
hides the sad Jamaican clown inside.
We need to call Lassiter and we
are not going back to the Museum.
No more Mummy room,
no more Spooky stuff.
I promise.
He's exhuming a body?
He is casually disturbing what should be
the passing of a great and dignified man.
Yeah, he does that.
White socks, black shoes.
What's the rule on that? Don't you have
to be wearing jeans? What's the rule?
Come on dude. I honestly had no idea he was
gonna be pulling a corpse from the ground.
Don't worry about it, Shawn.
I honestly didn't know I was gonna
be putting my foot in your ass.
Life's full of surprises.
I got the coroner's report
on the guard Hastings.
At least stay for this, see how
silly it is to be afraid of Mummies.
What do you got, Jules?
- You're not gonna like it.
- We're not gonna like it.
- I'm sure we'll be able to make something of it.
- Hastings was strangled to death.
No magic involved there. And
correct me if I'm wrong Jules,
but you can actually get fingerprints
off strangulation victims.
- I'm afraid that's not possible.
- Why is that?
The hand was wrapped
in some sort of cloth.
Cloth?
There were linen fibers
embedded into the guard's neck.
Clearly that was just
to cover his prints.
We also found dust and spores
that weren't from this area.
Well, maybe the cleaning
crew didn't come around.
Only if they didn't come
around for over 3,000 years.
The spores came from inside the coffin.
Thanks, Jules.
Finally!
Finally what?
- I've been leaving message son your phone.
- Yeah, I sor tof dropped my phone.
Yeah, what'd I tell youa bout
taking care of your stuff?
You know what? You're right. First
my tricycle out in the yard, now this.
- I see a pattern developing here.
- All right, look, Shawn,
I was hoping we could talk alone.
No offense, Gus.
- Di!
- No no, don't you dare.
We are here to talk to
you and this is urgent.
- So is mine.
- Ours involves a dead guy.
- Why do you always have to win, Shawn?
- 'Cause we're winners.
Fine, what is it? Go ahead.
Okay,
what do you do when your best suspect.
Sort of, just.
- Say it, Shawn.
- Doesn't exist
anymore?
People disappear all the time,
Shawn. Some are very good at it.
Especially a career criminal.
Yeah, this is a little more complicated.
Look, it doesn't matter who
you're talking about here, Shawn.
But when the trail goes cold,
you do what every good cop does.
You follow the time line. You trace back
the steps that led to the trail going cold.
- Back ground check.
- Exactly.
Perfect. Perfect, dad!
But I wanna see you later, without Gus.
I need to talk to you.
Okay, what is this?
What is all this "without Gus"
stuff? I mean, it's Gus. Just say it.
- Say what it is. What is it?
- Okay. All right.
I got a phone calla
couple of days ago and...
I don't know if you
have any plans, but...
Are you busy on saturday?
You want me to come with
you to awkward class?
Forget it.
See ya!
Detectives, that's very thoughtful of you,
but I just don't want youto make a big fuss.
We are not going to make a fuss.
Detective Lassiter and I just ant
to throw you a going away party.
It's going to be very...
William Wyles the beud.
It was formerly believed
that Wyles' death was due
to an accidental fall down the
stairs of his Montecito home.
But now a former employee
has come forward to say.
she heard loud arguing coming from the
Wyles's study the night of his death.
Contrary to the belief that
Wyles was alone the night he died.
Santa Barbara police
detective Carlton Lassiter,
who's been leading this investigation,
was unavailable for comment.
Unavailable for comment?
I've been here all day.
Who's not giving me my messages?
Cupcakes.
Right, of course.
With little cuffs on them.
And, sprinkles.
We're really gonna miss you.
Wyles, who became a publishing
magnate at the age of 30,
was one of Santa Barbara's
leading philanthropists
and a major contributor
to political campaigns.
As well as a well-known
collector of war Memorabilia.
At his height, he owned more than 30...
- How's the back ground check coming?
- Just finished.
Rahm Entottem lived during
the 19th dy Nasty of Egypt.
Probably near Giza.
He had 11 sons, all of whom
spent their days smelting metal
from the orealong the banks of the Nile.
Smelters?
Perhaps you misunderstood.
We don't care what he
did when he was living.
Only since he's been a Mummy.
Let's do this.
First, he was on display
for six months in Cincinnati.
He didn't kill anybody there.
Then he was on Loan, Plano, Texas.
Nobody had their eyes or
internal organs stolen there.
- What's that?
- It's a bowl of Chili.
- And who's that up there?
- It's Austin kerns. Would you pay attention?
Then he was transported
for two days by truck,
spent the evening in
the Museum ware house,
and boom, was on display
first thing the next morning.
Mine's Better.
Yeah, but mine's something
sensible that people might utilize.
So you'rethe sensible one now?
- More and more lately.
- Okay.
All right, let's work back wards.
We just did.
This is as close as
I get to that Museum.
I know. Quick, put that on.
My name is Shawn Spencer. I'm
working with Sophie and the Museum.
This is my partner Paddy Simcox.
We're wondering if there's any documentation
on the arrival of the rock 'em sock 'em Mummy.
Rahmentottem.
Or has there been any instances of
things exploding for no apparent reason?
I don't know nothing.
- And I don't think you guys should be in here.
- Right.
Perhaps I'll call Sophie and let her
know you're not being very helpful.
Listen, all I have security
access for is this room.
Well, then let us know what happens
here, man! Here at the docks!
Fine, it's simple.
That thing shows up, a Museum
rep comes and does an inspection.
And then we put it out on the floor.
I wish that there was
more that I could tell you.
Dude, it's a tripod.
I told you that was a tripod.
With a camera. Coming back.
Hey, wait up!
What are you doing?
Left your keys in the trunk lock.
I'm sorry. I know I promised not to shoot
there. I know you guys said you'd call the cops,
but I just need one more night
for my project to be done.
- Your project?
- My film project.
- Aren't you guys with the...
- Yes, we are.
- With who?
- Who ever you think we're with.
- The Museum?
- Yes, exactly. And you are a film student?
Yes, working on night cycle.
It's my thesis project.
It's just the life cycle of a
wild flower at the top of the hill.
- The name of your film is night cycle?
- What's wrong with that?
Well, it's kind of boring.
Unless it's about a motorcycle
that comes to life at night and
solves crime and does sweet whee lies.
Listen,
I alread y told the guy in the Jumpsuit. I mean,
you could barely see the Museum in the background.
- I just needed to frame it up that way.
- You have foot age of the Museum.
Yeah, but it won't infringe on
anyone's copyright, I can guarantee it.
Do you have stuff from tuesday night?
Yeah, but not on me.
Here it is.
A standard video camera
runs at 30 frames per second.
- Yeah, we know that.
- How would we know that?
It's common know ledge, Shawn.
And technically it's 29.97.
Unless you're working in HD, then
it's 23.98 partially segmented frames.
Regard less, for time lapse I
set it for one frames for minute.
So everything moves faster.
- 30 times faster.
- 1,800 times faster.
- I knew that. I was testing you.
- Sure you did.
Okay Guys, what are we
looking for here, exactly?
It's pretty simple.
A crime occurre dat the Museum
on this particular evening.
We just wanna know if your camera caught
any foot age of it. It's nothing too crazy.
And most likely there's a crazed Mummy out
and about strangling people willy-nilly.
Yes. And that.
This is 3:00 am.
Slow it down here.
This is kind of exciting.
Holy crap. Gus, can you believe it?
Gus?
He's a little scared of Mummies.
Dude, it's just a film!
- Video.
- Even better.
No one can reach through
the screen and grab you.
That's so weird.
We only saw him for one frame and then,
you know, he walked out and poof.
He's gone.
Wait.
The lights on the van.
Dude, he took that van.
The Mummy?
Great.
Now we got a Mummy on the loose and the
son of a bitch know show to drive a stick?
- Now we know how he got away.
- We need to call the Police.
No, not yet.
- I've seen that van.
- You know where it is?
Unless it's moved in
the last two hours, I do.
What the. Dude, I told you it was here.
I told you I saw it!
What are you doing? Turning
the cararound, Shawn.
Dude, she's not even gonna be in
California by the time we get out of here.
Just keep turning the wheel!
- I don't wanna hit anything, Shawn!
- This is a company car.
Dude, you got it. You
clearly had it after the se...
Really?
The 11-point turn, dude?
This is a prime example of a
situation best handled by the Police.
- Or a witch doctor.
- It's not a Mummy, Gus.
You keep saying that, and
it keeps coming up Mummy.
No way he makes that turn.
Slow down.
He hit a tree.
- Let's go get him.
- I'm not getting out there.
Dude, they hit a tree.
Who ever they are, they're not
moving. They're incapacitated.
They could be hurt, maybe even dead.
Maybe undead.
- They might need our help.
- Or our internal organs!
- Let's call the police.
- With whose phone?
All right, fine.
I'm bringing my bat.
Grab some flash lights.
Shawn, I think...
I think this may be the most
terrifying moment of my life.
You're confronting it head on.
I'm so proud of you, buddy.
I think I just saw someone
running away in the woods.
Look!
That door's cracked!
I don't think anybody's here.
How sure are you?
Fairly to pretty damn.
Good, because I don't
think I can take one more.
Shawn?
I am telling you, Carly town,
you gotta come with uson this!
And I'm telling you, I'm about to
solve the biggest case of my career.
So which do you think I'd rather do?
The old man didn't die
from a fall down the stairs.
Initial findings indicate he had blunt
force trauma to his head before he fell.
So unless you've gota psychic answer
for that, you guys can run along.
Crud. Now Wyles isn't
answering his phone.
I have the final coroner's
report on that exhumed body.
It was definitely a head trauma.
And it turns out that unidentified matter
found in his skull was a chip of ivory.
Great.
But I have the best reveal ever.
Spencer, we'll get to your
little mummy thing later.
Quite honestly, I only took the case
because Wyles IV is on the board of trustees.
I thought I could do a little
snooping, but all I got was dead ends.
I can solve both cases!
- You can what?
- Lassie, call Wyles on his cell phone.
He'll pick that up because he's
not at home. Dude, we got it.
- Oh, we are good!
- Then meet us at the Museum.
Why can't they just meet
usat a well-lit Starbucks?
One more time, buddy. For justice.
- Why am I here?
- You'll find out soon enough.
But whatever it is, I'm
taking full credit for it.
Just cooperate with us, Mr. Wyles.
Things don't look very
good for you right now.
- Yeah, well, I'll have your job.
- Well, it's too late for that.
Someone else already does.
Shawn!
Don't worry, Sophie.
I'm being very gentle.
I laid down a blanket and everything.
Not my first time alone in a coffin.
By the way.
Playing dead, awesome.
- What is this nonsense?
- He's solving a case.
Actually, I'm solving two cases.
But let's take them one at a time.
First, a being did
rise from this coffin.
And walk out of the
museum on tuesday night.
Strangled poor Hastings, may he
rest in peace, with his bare hands.
Correction,
- linen-wrapped
hands. - Thank you.
I was the first one to
say that it was a Mummy.
But that being was not the mummy.
- Rub-my-bottom.
- Rahmentottem.
That mummy never made
it into the museum.
No, that mummy never made it out
of the white van in the parking lot.
It was swapped out by an angry
warehouse foreman on wheels.
It was all part of
an elaborate break-in.
This is absolute insanity.
An interesting choice of words. I
thought for sure you'd say genius.
- Well, why would I say genius?
- Because it was your plan.
My plan?
You're the one that got into
the snuffalupagus wrapped in
just enough tea-stained linen to look
like a mummy through the cracked lid.
You needed to get those
pistols back, didn't you?
Yeah, the ones that used to be at the
top of the stairs in your father's house.
Especially that one with
the chipped ivory handle.
- Which.
- Which was the murder weapon!
Come on, Lass. A little
consideration, please? I mean, look.
I'm going all out with the cloth
and thing here. I'm doing my thing.
- Detectives.
- You knocked your father
on the head with that pistol,
let him fall to his death,
and then ran out and waited
for somebody else to find him.
And the pistol got willed to the Museum.
That's why you worked so hard
to get that exhibit closed.
And delayed the installation
of the new security system.
He couldn't get his way into the display.
But he needed to be in the Museum.
You have been a busy
little boy, haven't you?
I believe you will be my final
Santa Barbara arrest, Mr. Wyles.
Put your hands behind your back, sir.
Nice, nice... but guys, check
it out. There's more, right?
He tilted the camera so
that he wouldn't be visible.
He... he strangled Hastings
so there wouldn't be a witness!
I saw him run away in the forest!
Gus?
Is there any chance at all you'll stay?
No.
But I'm sure we'll
see each other around.
Look, I knew the mayor wanted Raymond Sauter
for the job. He's an old friend of his.
But Sauter didn't become
available until recently.
So I did what I had to do.
Look, I'm sure Sauter
will do a fine job.
Are you sure you'll have a use for this?
Dude, you're being kind of insensitive.
She'll be fine.
Phone. It's the mayor.
Yes, sir?
Well, yes. But...
Of course. Yes, that's...
Sir, you don't have to beg.
You are begging.
As of now?
Okay.
- I'm the new chief.
- Not interim?
Don't you dare call me that again.
Oh, my god, what
happened? What did he say?
- I honestly have no idea.
- I think I do.
What's this?
Bumped my arrest to page two.
Congratulations, Karen.
Thank you.
- We should have a party!
- We should definitely have a party.
- We have all the party accoutrements!
- Just go get some party gear
and just open some crackers
and a bottle of something.
Shawn, are you sure you didn't get
some sort of special message this week?
Dad, I told you, I dropped
my phone. Now, I gotta go.
No no, Shawn! Look, there's something I
gotta get off my chest before you leave here!
Dad, I don't know if you just read the
secret or watched an emotional Oprah or what.
But I don't think we're ready
to open our souls to each other.
- Well, we have no choice, kid.
- But we do, and it's good.
Because what we have is simple
and shallow and unobtrusive.
So let's have this conversation when
you're 90 and maybe on an oxygen tank.
'Cause I have a date with
a woman who runs a Museum.
- And that's new for me.
- No, Shawn!
- Please, no!
- It just feels good.
You know what, I'll grab the
door for you on my way out!
Mom.