Psych (2006–2014): Season 2, Episode 10 - Gus's Dad May Have Killed an Old Guy - full transcript
Christmas with the Gusters is ruined when Gus's parents' neighbor is killed, a clue leads Lassiter to look at Mr Guster more closely. Evidence leads the police into arresting Gus's mother as well, and Shawn and Gus vow to get them out of jail.
No one ever gets their ball back
from mean old man Fuller's yard.
This sucks.
I know.
We were tied 114 to 114.
And I was up.
We weren't supposed to be
playing with my new ball.
I'll give you 1,000
outs if you go get it.
- 2,000.
- Done.
Okay, you got it, all right,
almost got it. There I go...
- Gus!
- Shawn!
- Is the ball all right?
- I can't get back over.
Get that ball off my grass!
- Get out of my yard!
- Gus, I'm really gonna Miss ya.
Ho, buzz McNab.
The Christmas spirits told
me to give this to you.
Oh, my goodness, a Daisy Red Ryder.
I had one of these when I was a kid.
It was the reason I wanted
to become a policeman.
Well, merry Christmas from me and Gus.
Thanks, guys.
- He's gonna shoot his eye out.
- Yes, he is.
That was amazing.
How did you know that?
Uh, the room where I
take naps shares a vent
with the room where they
do the psychological evals.
Lassie!
I
- I hate snow globes.
Now, that's strange. My
psychic senses told me
specifically that snow globes
didn't give you nightmares
about being trapped in a clear ball
with snow that burns your skin off.
Well, merry Christmas from me and Gus.
Mr. Mittens says it felt
just like going to sleep,
and he doesn't hold
it against you at all.
Kitty Heaven...
It's just like east beach.
That is the best news ever.
Merry Christmas
from both of...
This is a very special gift.
It's clearly just from me.
Don't appropriate.
Not at Christmas time.
Thank you so much, Shawn.
'Tis the season, Jules.
This is exactly what I need to get into
the holiday spirit before my family arrives.
Oh, should I meet
them, or is it too soon?
Too soon for what?
Nothing.
O'Hara's family Christmas, huh?
My family's Christmas are the best
with tradional's scolish, games
and music and crafts.
You guys should totally come
by tonight if you'd like.
I do love a scottish craft.
But, uh, my father and
I have been invited over
to the Gusters for an
old-fashioned holiday dinner.
Maybe next time.
I can think of someone who could
use a little cheer this time of year.
Recently divorced.
- Separated.
- Estranged?
- Embattled?
- Yes.
And all alone for the holidays.
All right!
Who keeps telling people I
want snow globes for Christmas?
Dude, I am really stoked.
In over 20 years of
friendship, I can count
on one shop teacher's
hand, the number of times
your folks have had us over.
I assume it's because they can't
stand my father. Understandably.
Well, I wouldn't necessarily say that.
What would you say necessarily?
Let's just say it's
not because of your dad.
Your house is too small?
- Didn't have enough extra chairs?
- No.
- Hiding a jewish family in your attic?
- No.
Wait a minute.
It's not because of me.
Gus?
I can't believe this.
I feel like pe le pew when he
looked up pew in the dictionary.
Le pew. Whuh?
No.
My parents always thought you
were a bad influence on me.
- Understandably.
- A bad influence?
- Yes.
- Dude, that's absurd.
Because of you, Shawn, I got my first "B,"
broke my first curfew, accidentally killed
the state bird...
How was I supposed to know he
couldn't hold his own liquor?
Now I know what to get
your parents for Christmas.
What?
I'm gonna lead 'em on
a walk down memory lane,
and give them the gift of
seeing what a positive influence
I have been on their son.
Dad, why do you insist
on getting a real tree?
You probably chopped down
some poor animal's home.
Yeah, that's the vicious
little bastard right there.
- Can we go, please?
- Whoa, Shawn, Shawn?
Look, I don't wanna be late to the Gusters.
It's important that this dinner go well.
Aren't you forgetting something?
Your gift.
Go on. Shake it, rattle
it, feel it, sniff it.
Do whatever the hell you want with
it before it goes in that stocking.
Then you got one week
to figure out what it is.
Dad, this ridiculous competion means
way more to you than it does to me.
That's why you haven't won
since you were eight-years-old.
Christmas '92 was a draw.
- You know that.
- Oh, so you do care.
Go on.
That's it.
That's it?
- You're sure?
- That's all I need.
Oh, here's yours.
Merry Christmas.
- You are never...
- Shh.
Wait-wait-wait.
All right, time's up.
In the stockings they go.
I'm gonna figure it
out, Shawn. I always do.
Same time.
Oh, I think there's a
surprise in here for someone.
I'm grown. You don't have
to do this every year.
We hear you, son, we hear ya.
And we're sure you're very
happy still being a sales rep.
I am.
Pharmaceutical sales is
a very desirable field.
Of course, and you're doing
very well for yourself.
That's $100, boy.
No. Not gonna happen.
Turkey's ready!
- Finally!
- It smells good, Winnie.
Why smell it when you can taste it?
Speaking of smoked turkey, you
know why Gus isn't a smoker?
'cause when we were
kids I made him smoke
an entire pack of cigarettes, and
he discovered he hated the taste.
Pretty good influence
if I do say so myself.
Probably what gave him asthma.
Probably what stunted his growth too.
I'm
five-ten-and-a-half.
We hear you, son.
We hear ya.
Gus, you're tall enough. Shawn,
you're an idiot, and to be fair,
there's a lot of complicated
causes for asthma.
Now, let's eat.
You know, it was actually
Gus' asthma medication
that first interested
him in pharmaceuticals.
- So you're welcome for that.
- You made your point, Shawn.
- You're a good friend.
- Yes, you're very close.
So close, I wonder if he
wouldn't be married by now
if he wasn't spending so much time
with you.
Trust me. I get mine.
I mean... I'm just
waiting for Mrs. Right.
We at least thought
you'd have a house by now.
I have time. The market's
still cooling off.
Yeah. So's the food.
You won't have time if you keep using
all your extra energy with this gypsy
detective agency nonsense
you two have cooked up.
Mrs. G.
It's a psychic detective agency.
Psych.
And how does this differ from that
pet baptism business you had as kids?
First of all, that was an LLC. And
I'm the one that let Gus believe
that Jesus was black. The
whole time we were grow...
Growing up, which of course he is.
He is that.
That... he is that.
I say we skip old man Fuller's house.
Nobody wants to sing
to his old, mean behind.
Can't hear the song
over his cussing anyway.
Oh, come on, you guys!
We're all adults now.
Can't we let bygones be bygones?
Even old man Fuller can
use some Christmas spirit!
Come on!
We wish you a merry Christmas
we wish you a merry Christmas
- and a happy new year
- Mr. Fuller!
He would have been throwing rocks
at us by now if he were here.
We wish you a merry
Christmas and a happy new...
Yeah, it's an apparent suicide, but,
uh, we're still working the scene.
Dude, what if this wasn't suicide?
What if this was murder?
Shawn, it's Christmas time.
- Can you please leave work at the office?
- They've already moved on.
Look, there is no way
that an 80-year-old man
in Fuller's condition
could have hoisted himself
over that bannister.
And check it out.
He was clearly looking forward
to watching some tv tonight.
While he ate his lobster.
- You may be on to something.
- Plus, I psych it up nice for your parents,
they might be impressed, you know?
Throw in a little razzle dazzle.
Maybe they realize I'm not
such a bad influence after all.
Which may get them off my case for
deciding to go into business with you.
Now you're feeling me,
you convertible lebaron.
Are you guys coming or what?
Sure thing, pop.
Stop!
I'm sensing something.
What is it, Shawn?
Is it like the other 26 and a half crimes
we solved for the police department?
I'm sensing a struggle.
Oh, please!
Fuller's unconscious.
No, he was just an old man
with a little soft skull.
Oh, someone's wrapping
a rope around his neck!
What I'm sensing here,
ladies and gentlemen,
is murder.
Spencer, old people are always
offing themselves during the holidays.
Well, according to CSU,
Shawn might be right.
Colorado State University?
Crime scene unit.
- Them too.
- Let me see that.
Blunt force trauma, signs of struggle.
My Lord.
He really is psychic.
Maybe we were wrong about
the boys working together...
This time.
Right. Get him outta here.
It's an open crime scene, people,
I need witness statements from
each and every one of you carolers.
Crap, I'm running late.
Lassie, come on, man.
Handle your business.
Gus and I will take 'em
down to the station tomorrow.
- We have passes...
- Which practically
makes us co-workers.
Isn't that right, big L?
That hurt, man!
But when they cut us, we bleed blue.
Carlton!
Hi!
I'm so glad you could make it!
I hope you're in a
hogmanay mood. I doubt it.
Whatever that is.
The first footer!
Oh, the first footer,
it's scottish tradition
to celebrate the first
visitor of the holidays.
You.
Why are they all staring at me?
Well, the first footer
traditionally brings a gift of food.
All I've got is a cliff bar in my car.
I'd really prefer to save
it for my morning run.
So these are my nephews.
Drake, Finn, and Isaac.
Boys, this is detective Lassiter.
He works with auntie Julie.
I like it better in here already.
I was helping them with
their Christmas crafts.
It's always my favorite part.
Look at this, auntie julie!
- Look at mine!
- Oh, my goodness.
This looks fantastic, but you know,
maybe detective Lassiter
would like to help out.
Sure.
All right, fellas, what
do we got going on here?
Well, you know, Drake,
technically Jesus was born
around april, so we need to
get rid of this winter foliage.
Oh, and, Finn, the word
manger actually refers
to the wooden feeding
trough that the animals used,
so let's put baby Jesus
in this little shot glass.
Perfect. Well, you know,
based on how far they had to travel,
all the experts agree that
the wise men didn't really
get there until Jesus was
two, so let's get rid of them.
Uh, uh, Carlton.
Remember, this is for the children.
Right.
Let's do one with Santa in it.
Hand me Kris Kringle there, guys.
That's a great idea!
You know, interestingly enough,
the dutch version of Santa
used slaves to deliver the toys.
We're here to give our official
statements for the Fuller case.
Yes. About that.
Um, our investigation has
confirmed Mr. Spencer's hunches.
Ah, really?
- It was murder.
- That's 27 and counting.
Do you folks mind coming on in
for a moment? Just have a seat.
Make yourselves comfortable.
Chair's right over there.
I thought we could, uh,
have more privacy this way.
Why? What, is there a problem?
Well, this report says
that there were traces
of weed killer found
in Mr. Fuller's system.
Poison.
I sensed that as well.
There's just one slight problem,
we found a box of the
same type of weed killer
on Mr. Guster's property.
Can you explain that?
Whoa, whoa, now. Slow your
roll. I can explain that.
Me and Fuller had a long-time
feud about the property line.
And every now and then
I'd poison his shrubs
because he refused to cut them back.
Bill, that's not like you.
How about this? Blunt force
trauma to the head of the deceased
was done caused by a
bloody hammer found nearby
with prints belonging
to a Mr. William Guster.
Yeah, but if you'd
looked a little closer,
you would have found a hacksaw and
a pickaxe with my prints on them too.
Fuller had been taking
my tools for years.
That's another reason we'd been feuding.
Another perfectly
reasonable explanation.
Just one more thing, the rope
to hang Mr. Fuller matches rope
- used from a boat belonging to...
- Lemme guess. Me.
Dad, you're crazy.
Mr. G.
Wait.
You mean it really was mine?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Look, I just said that to be funny.
I have no idea how it got there.
I am sorry, Mr. Guster, the
evidence is strong enough.
- You have the right to remain silent.
- What?
You give up that right, anything you say
you can't arrest me!
- And will be used against you in a court of law.
- I'm a deacon in a church!
- You have a right to an attorney.
- What is the Lord gonna say?
It's very nice of you to invite us over.
Oh, Winnie, it's the least I could do.
- Now when is Bill gonna be released from custody?
- Soon I hope.
A thing like this could
be devastating to somebody
with delicate health,
a weak disposition.
We're gonna get dad out before
anything can happen to him.
I was talking about you.
Your father's strong as an ox, but you,
lord knows you have enough
stress to deal with as it is.
Mrs. G., you have my word,
everything will be fine.
- We're gonna take this case.
- Yeah.
Shawn, maybe we oughta get
some food together here.
- Maybe you oughta pass on this one.
- I can't, dad. I owe it to them.
Look, the Gusters are nice people, okay?
They invite you over for dinner at
6:00. They don't serve till 6:30.
So what?
The point is, as a rule,
you never wanna get involved in a case
where personal
relationships are involved.
- Dad, I think I can handle it.
- What if Gus's dad is guilty?
Are you out of your mind?
How could you even say that?
That's what I mean. Right there, Shawn.
You've already made your decision
irrespective of the facts.
You have already compromised this case.
Compromised? Why?
Because I'm not afraid of
my own emotional attachment?
I'll have you know that I view that as a
tool in my problem-solving, not a liability.
It is that exact kind
of lame-ass thinking...
I can see why you
were never a detective.
And I can see why you ended
up a divorced detective.
My god.
We went almost three hours
without having an argument.
It's our best holiday in years, huh?
Uh, I was just arresting
someone in the neighborhood.
I thought I'd drop by and say hi.
Oh, you know, we just
sat down to lunch, so...
Sorry.
Hey, guys.
Look what I've got.
A Wii!
Awesome!
Wow, that's actually very
thoughtful. Thank you.
It turned up in a sweep. I
mean, they're welcome to use it,
but technically it
belongs to the DA's office.
Come on! Let's play boxing!
You're not busy?
No, no. Go right ahead.
Oh, oh, drake, you're
too slow, my friend!
You better change your name
to Lassiter because I own you!
Oh, he's down on the ground!
- What a lame-o.
- Come on.
Who's next? Who's next? Come on!
Let's go! Somebody come
get some! Who's next?
Get some! Come on!
You guys sure you don't wanna take
a sandwich or anything for the road?
You hardly ate any of your food.
Ooh, I remember once when
we were little you made us
- these chicken cordon bleus.
- Shawn.
- But the ham was so thin...
- Shawn!
We don't have an appetite.
All we can think about
is clearing dad's name
and getting him out of jail.
I'll give you a call as
soon as we have any leads.
Dad.
No, it is not an engraved
set of rubber bullets.
Why would I possibly give you
another excuse to shoot a gun?
Well, you better keep thinking.
Shawn, I don't have to tell
you how important this case is.
So whatever you need, just let me know.
Hold up, hold up, hold
up. What? What is it?
Give me a second.
Is it a clue that clears my dad?
Can you shush for one second?
I know you think this is easy for me,
but I do go through a mental
process. Like A equals B.
B equals C...
Which means a equals...
Would you stop it?
That's too close! Now
I gotta start all over.
Damn it, Shawn, what's taking so long?
Okay! All right!
We need to figure out if there
was a homeowner's association.
Ah, Mr. Mitchell.
- Yes.
- My name is Shawn Spencer.
I'm not interested in any
fake vacation packages.
I'm not giving you my
social security number
so I can claim the grand
prize, and I'm not paying
for any damn subscriptions for
magazines that I know I'll never see.
I'm the head psychic for the
Santa Barbara police department.
Well, come on in then.
We're investigating
the death of Mr. Fuller.
And I am sensing some unresolved
conflict between the two of you.
Something... something to
do with rules and violations.
Yes, it's true.
Fuller became a
constant thorn in my side
ever since I started the
homeowner's association.
He refused to follow the ordinances.
When I'd give him citations, he'd tear
them up and throw them in the trash.
So I'd give him another citation.
It was a constant, vicious cycle.
It's him.
He did it. Bust him, Shawn.
See it, see it.
See it. Stop it.
Sounds like you wanted
him out of the way.
No, no, not at all.
He was a pain, but he
was our best supporter.
Our?
The Mitchell family.
We founded this
neighborhood 100 years ago.
Now we're lobbying the city to have
them declare it a historical district.
Fuller refused to sell his
house after all these years.
We were the only friends he had.
Hello.
Oh, hi, honey. This is Shawn
Spencer and Burton Guster.
I remember the two of you from
when you were no more than yea high.
You had the cutest little
lawn-mowing business.
Oh, wow, that's right. We did.
In fact I think we paid you $5.00
for a job that never got done.
Oh! This guy.
You know, the yard tools are
out back. I'll go get them.
She's, uh... She's not serious, is she?
She is.
Oh, and make sure to
water the gardenias.
I've had them longer
than you've been alive.
This is ridiculous.
She should've just accepted
the $5.00 refund offer.
We need to be solving my dad's case.
Dude.
There's somebody in
old man Fuller's house.
I can't believe we're gonna bail
on the mitchells' yard again.
Come on!
Who are you, and what
are you doing here?
I should ask you the same thing.
My name's Shawn.
This is my partner,
Skooney "u-turn" Singleton.
We're from dirty boy landscaping.
I got a call from your office,
said you needed some estimates
on some renovations.
You guys are fast.
I just left word at the office
saying I needed a landscape architect.
You know, I cold-called
this geezer for years
pushing him to sell,
and he always refused.
Finally it's available.
Really?
What's so special about this place?
It's the only lot in the neighborhood
with 360-degree unobstructed views.
It'll sell for a fortune.
Don't worry, this yard will
be immaculate when we're done.
- Bye-bye. -
Be in touch.
You hear her, Shawn?
She's been cold-calling for years.
And she stands to make
a fortune on this place.
That's motive. Right?
Yeah, yeah.
It's gotta be her. What more do we need?
Let's get the cops on it right away.
I, I guess it wouldn't, uh, hurt
to have them do a
cursory background check.
Maybe, maybe look. Look
at the phone records.
- Right.
- Okay.
I'll do everything in my
power to make this process
as painless as possible.
Jules. Jules, over here!
It's about time.
Did you check the phone records?
Yep, your tip paid off.
That's great. Thank goodness.
There were all these
vibes, but I wasn't sure.
So it was Rosa.
- Who?
- The real estate agent.
No, no.
She has a solid alibi.
But we discovered quite a
few calls from someone else,
who also made numerous cash
transfers into Fuller's account.
Possibly paying off a blackmail.
Wait a second, if you're
not about to arrest Rosa,
what are you doing standing here?
Distracting you.
Distracting.
Sorry, Gus.
Shawn!
Shawn!
- No, no, no, Mr. Guster!
- Mr. Guster.
Burton, Burton, please.
Don't make a scene, darling.
The neighbors, neighbors
are watching us.
What is this?
Get in the car, ma'am. Please.
- Watch your head.
- Don't!
Don't you touch my hair!
We got here as fast as we could.
This is our worst nightmare.
It seems like everything
is conspiring against us.
So we lawyered up.
That's how they say
it in the bucket, son,
Where I did an eight-hour bid.
I don't know those words.
I'm not gonna do well in prison.
Don't worry, sweetheart.
You'll be fine.
She not gonna make it.
I told you, nobody's going to prison.
Mrs. G,
why didn't you tell anybody
that old man Fuller was
blackmailing you for all these years?
I wanted to, believe me,
I did, but I couldn't.
You see, this all started when
Bill's sailboat caught fire.
I tried to muster up the courage to
tell everybody that it was my fault.
But before I could, the insurance
company had paid everything off already.
Well, somehow, Fuller knew
the truth of what had happened.
He threatened to turn
me in for insurance fraud
if I didn't pay him every month.
Well, he was so old, I
figured paying him off
for the rest of his life
was the cheapest route.
To the police it looks like motive.
I know.
But don't worry, son.
We have called Nana.
She's to look after you in
case anything should happen
to the two of us.
Mom,
I don't need my grandmother, who lives
in a nursing home to look after me.
We hear you, son.
We hear you. Anyway, it's just
until we can raise the
money to post your mother's
bail and pay our legal bills.
Whatever the cost is, I'll cover it.
- Don't worry about it.
- We appreciate the gesture, Burton.
But, son, we're talking real money.
You have a savings
account in a penny jar.
I have a 401, a
diversified asset-allocated
portfolio full of securities
and equity to tap into.
He's always been so
good with the big words.
How much do you think we
can get for the cutlass?
Stop it! I can't take anymore!
All of my life it's been
Gus can't handle this!
Protect Gus from that!
Well, guess what?
I'm the most responsible,
well-prepared,
non-criminal-record-having
adult in this room.
And it's high time you
two stopped babying me.
I'm
29-years-old.
And by the way, I know you've
only been married for 28 years.
I did the math a long time ago.
So stop protecting me from that.
Starting now,
I'm gonna take care of you.
I'm gonna give you money.
And we're gonna solve this case.
Shawn may not have always
been the best influence on me,
but he's always believed in me,
even when I didn't believe in myself.
And right now,
I believe in him.
We hear ya, son.
All right, dude.
You had your moment, man. You nailed it.
Now go ahead and make a timely exit.
Come on, man.
Before you gotta make another speech.
Your mom being arrested might be
Christmas miracle we need for the case.
How so?
I suspect she wasn't the only one
in the neighborhood that old
man Fuller was blackmailing.
We gotta get back in his house.
Let's hurry up.
This place gives me the creeps.
Bingo!
This must be how old man Fuller
saw your mom burn your dad's boat.
Dude, there's something in there.
What do you think it is?
Will you stop it, Shawn?
You know how that story
gives me the creeps.
Norman! Norman!
Norman!
Okay, stop it, that's
enough! That's enough!
- Game over.
- Fine.
Don't play, Shawn.
Just as I thought.
He was snooping on the entire
neighborhood from up here.
These are his blackmail pictures.
Suburban pot farm.
Bootleg DVD ring.
None of these are
really cause for murder.
Covering an illicit affair.
Now that's what I call motive.
What?
You see anything?
Hurry up.
I know where our culprit lives.
Hey. Got some questions for
you about some illicit pictures.
But we already know where you live!
We call that "Sammy
Floyd's tree house ambush."
Okay, okay.
Okay. You got me.
I'll give you your pictures back.
We have pictures of you, Dude.
The ones old man Fuller
was blackmailing you for.
- What pictures are you talking
about? - I work at a one-hour photo.
I thought you were asking
about the pictures of hot,
naked chicks I sometimes keep.
Wait a minute.
This isn't you?
No.
But it kinda looks like my dad.
From about 30 years ago
when we first moved here.
Man, it was an old picture
mixed in with the new ones.
We couldn't tell the difference
because they're all black and white.
So we're looking for his dad?
- Yes.
- He passed away a few years ago.
No.
Who's this woman in the photo?
It's not my mom. That's for sure.
- She died before we moved here.
- Who the hell is she?
You know, don't really feel comfortable
talking about my family secrets, all right?
What's the name of that one-hour photo
where you hide your filthy debauchery?
I remember my dad had a female
friend who would visit only at night.
- What was her name?
- I don't remember.
- Do you know she lives?
- No.
Can you tell us anything?
I just swung from a tree.
When she left the house would
smell like, white linenperfume.
I remember it because
it was the same perfume
my mom used to wear when she was alive.
- So our culprit is a woman?
- Apparently.
Who looked like that 30 years ago.
She's hot.
What?
You have problems.
You know, I was thinking.
If, you guys have an
extra seat at that table
for Christmas dinner,
I might be available.
Carlton, I haven't been
completely honest with you.
- You see, family...
- Say no more.
Don't worry.
I won't come around anymore.
I am so sorry, Carlton.
Don't be. I mean it's. It's totally
natural for you to be jealous
if your nephews like me more than you.
- Come again?
- I get it.
You're used to being the cool aunt
that everyone wants to hang out with.
But when I'm around, you
just can't compete with that.
Sometimes I just. I forget to dial down
my coolness when I'm around kids.
They're just so impressionable.
You
are so right.
I can't compete with that.
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself.
All right, I'm sure your
nephews still think you're
really fly.
Merry Christmas, Carlton.
Great news.
We're following a new lead on the case.
That's great because I just
got my notice to appear in court
just in time for Christmas.
Look at this.
An announcement for old
man Fuller's estate sale.
Making people buy back stuff that was
probably already theirs
in the first place.
I don't know what
they put in this stuff,
But the jerk chicken from
Kingstons has always been the best.
Let me see.
Well, they got the right ratio
of black pepper, scotch bonnet,
and thyme.
Hey, son.
Whoo. I ain't mad at that.
But they should have used
a quarter less pimento.
Mom.
Minced nutmeg instead of ground.
My god.
Gus, you came by the
super smeller honest.
She also smelled like,
white linenperfume.
Dude!
Can the super smeller pick
out a scent from memory?
Well, the olfactory and memory areas
of the cerebral cortex share
the same neural pathways.
- What is that? Is that a yes?
- Yes.
Sweet! I think I know
how to solve the case!
Come on!
We'll be back.
Jules, I'm getting a
major psychic disturbance
down at old man Fuller's estate
sale. You might wanna get down here.
Okay. Hurry.
Check it out.
If our culprit's here, she's gonna
wanna get a hold of those photos.
- Right.
- If she's like most old ladies,
she probably thinks you
were on the Jeffersons,
and she wears the same
perfume from her youth.
All you gotta do is identify
who's wearingwhite linen.
- I'll take care of the rest.
- Got it.
- You ready?
- Yep.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the
next item up for bidding
- Is this one-of-a-kind.
- Excuse me.
Antiqued confederate
civil war battle flag.
Who will open the bidding at $100?
May I have $100?
Thank you. I have $100
to open the bidding.
How about $200? Can I
hear $200? $200. Thank you.
$200. Xan I hear $300? $300?
Anyone. Thank you, sir, $300.
Do I hear $400? Who will say $400?
Do I hear $400? Who
will go $400? Thank you.
I have $400. Do I have $500?
$500?
$500, who will. Thank you.
I have $500.
Come on. Any luck?
No old lady in here
is wearingwhite linen.
- Sweet. That's our only lead.
- Sold!
To the man in the blue
argyle sweater for $500.
This antique confederate battle flag.
Thank you for bidding, sir.
Enjoy your flag.
Here you go.
You can totally get a gun
rack for your truck now.
Next item up for bidding
is this box of heirlooms.
Antique photographs.
Dude, I don't know what to do.
$100 to open. You better do something.
- I supposed to smell everyone?
- Thank you.
I have $100.
Who will go $200?
Make sure to water the gardenias.
I've had them longer
than you've been alive.
Identify the base
component of that fragrance.
Gardenia.
Are you absolutely certain?
Tahitian gardenia.
- Thank you. Now give me a push.
- What?
- Give me a little push.
- Not pushing you just give me a little.
Get that ball off my grass, Guster!
Get out of my yard!
If you kids don't keep
it quiet out there,
I'm gonna call the cops!
He's channeling old man
Fuller's grumpy drunken spirit.
What's that?
What's that, you miserable old geezer?
The cops have the wrong suspects.
Well, then who's the killer?
Gladys Mitchell?
30 years ago you...
You used to deliver flowers
To the nice little widower
who moved in down the street.
One thing led to another.
The next thing you knew, you were locked
in a torrid, illicit affair.
Dirty, sweaty, an affair that if it got
to the public would not
only ruin your marriage,
but soil the good name of the
neighborhood's founding family.
Old man Fuller knew your secret!
He could see everything
from his snooping perch.
In exchange for his
silence, you had to cater
to all of his needs for
the better part of 30 years.
But oh, that bastard just
wouldn't die, would he?
No, it was as if his meanness
was keeping him alive.
And then your worst
nightmare became a reality.
He started going senile.
You couldn't risk him telling
somebody about the affair,
so you took matters into your own hands,
and you killed the son of a bitch!
That's absurd.
I couldn't possibly hang
a grown man from up there.
I can see it.
You tried to poison him!
But he spit it out.
Then you panicked. You grabbed a hammer.
You tried to bash in his skull!
But no, he just wouldn't die!
His little feet twitching
this way and that!
And then a really desperate move.
You grabbed the disoriented Fuller!
You pushed him over to
the base of the stairs.
You found yourself a nice piece of rope.
You tied one end around his Neck!
You draped the otherend
over the bannister
and you tied it to the Chair lift.
And then you used that Chair lift
to pull old man Fuller
all the way up and over the bannister
at this ridiculous, agonizing pace.
And that
is how you killed that
ancient, pruney relic.
I'm so sorry, Honey.
I just couldn't let him ruin everything
that we worked so hard to build.
Guster, you can tell your parents
we're gonna drop the charges.
Good work, Shawn.
You've already had your moment.
All right, let's light this puppy up.
Well, Shawn, it looks like
another draw this year?
Yes.
It appears so.
Look at that. Little Psych golf balls.
I also signed you up for
lessons with the golf pro
down at the Santa
Barbara municipal course.
That's sweet, dad. Thank you.
All right, your turn.
All right.
I have no idea what this is.
What do we got here?
"Dear dad, you got me
monogrammed psych golf balls
and golf lessons with the pro
down at the municipal course."
Turn it, turn it, turn it.
I believe his name is Pierre.
I got you, old man!
That's it, Shawn, you
know, this is the last year
we're gonna play this
stupid little game.
Somebody doesn't like to lose.
Because you're an old
grinch during christmastime.
- The name is Ebenezer Grinch man.
- Stop. Stop!
Grinch of the Cruise Scrooge grinchies.
Shawn.
Here you go. Here's your real gift.
What?
- Wait, what's it gonna do?
- Just give her a rip.
So what's there? What's in there?
Look at that.
That's me fishing.
In the snow. It's snowing.
That's really nice, Shawn.
That's great. Thank you.
Thank you. All right.
Thank you.
Thank you for a lovely dinner.
I think we should be going now.
Yes. Thank you.
It was my pleasure. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
I got a perfect place for this.
You all should get some rest.
You've been through a lot.
Finally things can get
back to the way they were.
Well, almost.
I've been thinking, maybe
we could use some advice
about that diversification stuff.
Seem like you're doing
pretty good for yourself.
And making some good business decisions.
Sure!
No problem. Let me go get the car.
Mr. Spencer.
Shawn.
Now, you look after Burton for us.
Are you sure this is enough?
I mean, this is Gus we're
talking about, right?
Don't worry, Mr. G, I got it covered.
Merry Christmas, Shawn.
Merry Christmas to you all.
Bye, Guys!
All right, all right, all
right. How did you do it?
Come on. Don't. Don't.
Don't...
Sync: Indru for Freshon.TV
from mean old man Fuller's yard.
This sucks.
I know.
We were tied 114 to 114.
And I was up.
We weren't supposed to be
playing with my new ball.
I'll give you 1,000
outs if you go get it.
- 2,000.
- Done.
Okay, you got it, all right,
almost got it. There I go...
- Gus!
- Shawn!
- Is the ball all right?
- I can't get back over.
Get that ball off my grass!
- Get out of my yard!
- Gus, I'm really gonna Miss ya.
Ho, buzz McNab.
The Christmas spirits told
me to give this to you.
Oh, my goodness, a Daisy Red Ryder.
I had one of these when I was a kid.
It was the reason I wanted
to become a policeman.
Well, merry Christmas from me and Gus.
Thanks, guys.
- He's gonna shoot his eye out.
- Yes, he is.
That was amazing.
How did you know that?
Uh, the room where I
take naps shares a vent
with the room where they
do the psychological evals.
Lassie!
I
- I hate snow globes.
Now, that's strange. My
psychic senses told me
specifically that snow globes
didn't give you nightmares
about being trapped in a clear ball
with snow that burns your skin off.
Well, merry Christmas from me and Gus.
Mr. Mittens says it felt
just like going to sleep,
and he doesn't hold
it against you at all.
Kitty Heaven...
It's just like east beach.
That is the best news ever.
Merry Christmas
from both of...
This is a very special gift.
It's clearly just from me.
Don't appropriate.
Not at Christmas time.
Thank you so much, Shawn.
'Tis the season, Jules.
This is exactly what I need to get into
the holiday spirit before my family arrives.
Oh, should I meet
them, or is it too soon?
Too soon for what?
Nothing.
O'Hara's family Christmas, huh?
My family's Christmas are the best
with tradional's scolish, games
and music and crafts.
You guys should totally come
by tonight if you'd like.
I do love a scottish craft.
But, uh, my father and
I have been invited over
to the Gusters for an
old-fashioned holiday dinner.
Maybe next time.
I can think of someone who could
use a little cheer this time of year.
Recently divorced.
- Separated.
- Estranged?
- Embattled?
- Yes.
And all alone for the holidays.
All right!
Who keeps telling people I
want snow globes for Christmas?
Dude, I am really stoked.
In over 20 years of
friendship, I can count
on one shop teacher's
hand, the number of times
your folks have had us over.
I assume it's because they can't
stand my father. Understandably.
Well, I wouldn't necessarily say that.
What would you say necessarily?
Let's just say it's
not because of your dad.
Your house is too small?
- Didn't have enough extra chairs?
- No.
- Hiding a jewish family in your attic?
- No.
Wait a minute.
It's not because of me.
Gus?
I can't believe this.
I feel like pe le pew when he
looked up pew in the dictionary.
Le pew. Whuh?
No.
My parents always thought you
were a bad influence on me.
- Understandably.
- A bad influence?
- Yes.
- Dude, that's absurd.
Because of you, Shawn, I got my first "B,"
broke my first curfew, accidentally killed
the state bird...
How was I supposed to know he
couldn't hold his own liquor?
Now I know what to get
your parents for Christmas.
What?
I'm gonna lead 'em on
a walk down memory lane,
and give them the gift of
seeing what a positive influence
I have been on their son.
Dad, why do you insist
on getting a real tree?
You probably chopped down
some poor animal's home.
Yeah, that's the vicious
little bastard right there.
- Can we go, please?
- Whoa, Shawn, Shawn?
Look, I don't wanna be late to the Gusters.
It's important that this dinner go well.
Aren't you forgetting something?
Your gift.
Go on. Shake it, rattle
it, feel it, sniff it.
Do whatever the hell you want with
it before it goes in that stocking.
Then you got one week
to figure out what it is.
Dad, this ridiculous competion means
way more to you than it does to me.
That's why you haven't won
since you were eight-years-old.
Christmas '92 was a draw.
- You know that.
- Oh, so you do care.
Go on.
That's it.
That's it?
- You're sure?
- That's all I need.
Oh, here's yours.
Merry Christmas.
- You are never...
- Shh.
Wait-wait-wait.
All right, time's up.
In the stockings they go.
I'm gonna figure it
out, Shawn. I always do.
Same time.
Oh, I think there's a
surprise in here for someone.
I'm grown. You don't have
to do this every year.
We hear you, son, we hear ya.
And we're sure you're very
happy still being a sales rep.
I am.
Pharmaceutical sales is
a very desirable field.
Of course, and you're doing
very well for yourself.
That's $100, boy.
No. Not gonna happen.
Turkey's ready!
- Finally!
- It smells good, Winnie.
Why smell it when you can taste it?
Speaking of smoked turkey, you
know why Gus isn't a smoker?
'cause when we were
kids I made him smoke
an entire pack of cigarettes, and
he discovered he hated the taste.
Pretty good influence
if I do say so myself.
Probably what gave him asthma.
Probably what stunted his growth too.
I'm
five-ten-and-a-half.
We hear you, son.
We hear ya.
Gus, you're tall enough. Shawn,
you're an idiot, and to be fair,
there's a lot of complicated
causes for asthma.
Now, let's eat.
You know, it was actually
Gus' asthma medication
that first interested
him in pharmaceuticals.
- So you're welcome for that.
- You made your point, Shawn.
- You're a good friend.
- Yes, you're very close.
So close, I wonder if he
wouldn't be married by now
if he wasn't spending so much time
with you.
Trust me. I get mine.
I mean... I'm just
waiting for Mrs. Right.
We at least thought
you'd have a house by now.
I have time. The market's
still cooling off.
Yeah. So's the food.
You won't have time if you keep using
all your extra energy with this gypsy
detective agency nonsense
you two have cooked up.
Mrs. G.
It's a psychic detective agency.
Psych.
And how does this differ from that
pet baptism business you had as kids?
First of all, that was an LLC. And
I'm the one that let Gus believe
that Jesus was black. The
whole time we were grow...
Growing up, which of course he is.
He is that.
That... he is that.
I say we skip old man Fuller's house.
Nobody wants to sing
to his old, mean behind.
Can't hear the song
over his cussing anyway.
Oh, come on, you guys!
We're all adults now.
Can't we let bygones be bygones?
Even old man Fuller can
use some Christmas spirit!
Come on!
We wish you a merry Christmas
we wish you a merry Christmas
- and a happy new year
- Mr. Fuller!
He would have been throwing rocks
at us by now if he were here.
We wish you a merry
Christmas and a happy new...
Yeah, it's an apparent suicide, but,
uh, we're still working the scene.
Dude, what if this wasn't suicide?
What if this was murder?
Shawn, it's Christmas time.
- Can you please leave work at the office?
- They've already moved on.
Look, there is no way
that an 80-year-old man
in Fuller's condition
could have hoisted himself
over that bannister.
And check it out.
He was clearly looking forward
to watching some tv tonight.
While he ate his lobster.
- You may be on to something.
- Plus, I psych it up nice for your parents,
they might be impressed, you know?
Throw in a little razzle dazzle.
Maybe they realize I'm not
such a bad influence after all.
Which may get them off my case for
deciding to go into business with you.
Now you're feeling me,
you convertible lebaron.
Are you guys coming or what?
Sure thing, pop.
Stop!
I'm sensing something.
What is it, Shawn?
Is it like the other 26 and a half crimes
we solved for the police department?
I'm sensing a struggle.
Oh, please!
Fuller's unconscious.
No, he was just an old man
with a little soft skull.
Oh, someone's wrapping
a rope around his neck!
What I'm sensing here,
ladies and gentlemen,
is murder.
Spencer, old people are always
offing themselves during the holidays.
Well, according to CSU,
Shawn might be right.
Colorado State University?
Crime scene unit.
- Them too.
- Let me see that.
Blunt force trauma, signs of struggle.
My Lord.
He really is psychic.
Maybe we were wrong about
the boys working together...
This time.
Right. Get him outta here.
It's an open crime scene, people,
I need witness statements from
each and every one of you carolers.
Crap, I'm running late.
Lassie, come on, man.
Handle your business.
Gus and I will take 'em
down to the station tomorrow.
- We have passes...
- Which practically
makes us co-workers.
Isn't that right, big L?
That hurt, man!
But when they cut us, we bleed blue.
Carlton!
Hi!
I'm so glad you could make it!
I hope you're in a
hogmanay mood. I doubt it.
Whatever that is.
The first footer!
Oh, the first footer,
it's scottish tradition
to celebrate the first
visitor of the holidays.
You.
Why are they all staring at me?
Well, the first footer
traditionally brings a gift of food.
All I've got is a cliff bar in my car.
I'd really prefer to save
it for my morning run.
So these are my nephews.
Drake, Finn, and Isaac.
Boys, this is detective Lassiter.
He works with auntie Julie.
I like it better in here already.
I was helping them with
their Christmas crafts.
It's always my favorite part.
Look at this, auntie julie!
- Look at mine!
- Oh, my goodness.
This looks fantastic, but you know,
maybe detective Lassiter
would like to help out.
Sure.
All right, fellas, what
do we got going on here?
Well, you know, Drake,
technically Jesus was born
around april, so we need to
get rid of this winter foliage.
Oh, and, Finn, the word
manger actually refers
to the wooden feeding
trough that the animals used,
so let's put baby Jesus
in this little shot glass.
Perfect. Well, you know,
based on how far they had to travel,
all the experts agree that
the wise men didn't really
get there until Jesus was
two, so let's get rid of them.
Uh, uh, Carlton.
Remember, this is for the children.
Right.
Let's do one with Santa in it.
Hand me Kris Kringle there, guys.
That's a great idea!
You know, interestingly enough,
the dutch version of Santa
used slaves to deliver the toys.
We're here to give our official
statements for the Fuller case.
Yes. About that.
Um, our investigation has
confirmed Mr. Spencer's hunches.
Ah, really?
- It was murder.
- That's 27 and counting.
Do you folks mind coming on in
for a moment? Just have a seat.
Make yourselves comfortable.
Chair's right over there.
I thought we could, uh,
have more privacy this way.
Why? What, is there a problem?
Well, this report says
that there were traces
of weed killer found
in Mr. Fuller's system.
Poison.
I sensed that as well.
There's just one slight problem,
we found a box of the
same type of weed killer
on Mr. Guster's property.
Can you explain that?
Whoa, whoa, now. Slow your
roll. I can explain that.
Me and Fuller had a long-time
feud about the property line.
And every now and then
I'd poison his shrubs
because he refused to cut them back.
Bill, that's not like you.
How about this? Blunt force
trauma to the head of the deceased
was done caused by a
bloody hammer found nearby
with prints belonging
to a Mr. William Guster.
Yeah, but if you'd
looked a little closer,
you would have found a hacksaw and
a pickaxe with my prints on them too.
Fuller had been taking
my tools for years.
That's another reason we'd been feuding.
Another perfectly
reasonable explanation.
Just one more thing, the rope
to hang Mr. Fuller matches rope
- used from a boat belonging to...
- Lemme guess. Me.
Dad, you're crazy.
Mr. G.
Wait.
You mean it really was mine?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Look, I just said that to be funny.
I have no idea how it got there.
I am sorry, Mr. Guster, the
evidence is strong enough.
- You have the right to remain silent.
- What?
You give up that right, anything you say
you can't arrest me!
- And will be used against you in a court of law.
- I'm a deacon in a church!
- You have a right to an attorney.
- What is the Lord gonna say?
It's very nice of you to invite us over.
Oh, Winnie, it's the least I could do.
- Now when is Bill gonna be released from custody?
- Soon I hope.
A thing like this could
be devastating to somebody
with delicate health,
a weak disposition.
We're gonna get dad out before
anything can happen to him.
I was talking about you.
Your father's strong as an ox, but you,
lord knows you have enough
stress to deal with as it is.
Mrs. G., you have my word,
everything will be fine.
- We're gonna take this case.
- Yeah.
Shawn, maybe we oughta get
some food together here.
- Maybe you oughta pass on this one.
- I can't, dad. I owe it to them.
Look, the Gusters are nice people, okay?
They invite you over for dinner at
6:00. They don't serve till 6:30.
So what?
The point is, as a rule,
you never wanna get involved in a case
where personal
relationships are involved.
- Dad, I think I can handle it.
- What if Gus's dad is guilty?
Are you out of your mind?
How could you even say that?
That's what I mean. Right there, Shawn.
You've already made your decision
irrespective of the facts.
You have already compromised this case.
Compromised? Why?
Because I'm not afraid of
my own emotional attachment?
I'll have you know that I view that as a
tool in my problem-solving, not a liability.
It is that exact kind
of lame-ass thinking...
I can see why you
were never a detective.
And I can see why you ended
up a divorced detective.
My god.
We went almost three hours
without having an argument.
It's our best holiday in years, huh?
Uh, I was just arresting
someone in the neighborhood.
I thought I'd drop by and say hi.
Oh, you know, we just
sat down to lunch, so...
Sorry.
Hey, guys.
Look what I've got.
A Wii!
Awesome!
Wow, that's actually very
thoughtful. Thank you.
It turned up in a sweep. I
mean, they're welcome to use it,
but technically it
belongs to the DA's office.
Come on! Let's play boxing!
You're not busy?
No, no. Go right ahead.
Oh, oh, drake, you're
too slow, my friend!
You better change your name
to Lassiter because I own you!
Oh, he's down on the ground!
- What a lame-o.
- Come on.
Who's next? Who's next? Come on!
Let's go! Somebody come
get some! Who's next?
Get some! Come on!
You guys sure you don't wanna take
a sandwich or anything for the road?
You hardly ate any of your food.
Ooh, I remember once when
we were little you made us
- these chicken cordon bleus.
- Shawn.
- But the ham was so thin...
- Shawn!
We don't have an appetite.
All we can think about
is clearing dad's name
and getting him out of jail.
I'll give you a call as
soon as we have any leads.
Dad.
No, it is not an engraved
set of rubber bullets.
Why would I possibly give you
another excuse to shoot a gun?
Well, you better keep thinking.
Shawn, I don't have to tell
you how important this case is.
So whatever you need, just let me know.
Hold up, hold up, hold
up. What? What is it?
Give me a second.
Is it a clue that clears my dad?
Can you shush for one second?
I know you think this is easy for me,
but I do go through a mental
process. Like A equals B.
B equals C...
Which means a equals...
Would you stop it?
That's too close! Now
I gotta start all over.
Damn it, Shawn, what's taking so long?
Okay! All right!
We need to figure out if there
was a homeowner's association.
Ah, Mr. Mitchell.
- Yes.
- My name is Shawn Spencer.
I'm not interested in any
fake vacation packages.
I'm not giving you my
social security number
so I can claim the grand
prize, and I'm not paying
for any damn subscriptions for
magazines that I know I'll never see.
I'm the head psychic for the
Santa Barbara police department.
Well, come on in then.
We're investigating
the death of Mr. Fuller.
And I am sensing some unresolved
conflict between the two of you.
Something... something to
do with rules and violations.
Yes, it's true.
Fuller became a
constant thorn in my side
ever since I started the
homeowner's association.
He refused to follow the ordinances.
When I'd give him citations, he'd tear
them up and throw them in the trash.
So I'd give him another citation.
It was a constant, vicious cycle.
It's him.
He did it. Bust him, Shawn.
See it, see it.
See it. Stop it.
Sounds like you wanted
him out of the way.
No, no, not at all.
He was a pain, but he
was our best supporter.
Our?
The Mitchell family.
We founded this
neighborhood 100 years ago.
Now we're lobbying the city to have
them declare it a historical district.
Fuller refused to sell his
house after all these years.
We were the only friends he had.
Hello.
Oh, hi, honey. This is Shawn
Spencer and Burton Guster.
I remember the two of you from
when you were no more than yea high.
You had the cutest little
lawn-mowing business.
Oh, wow, that's right. We did.
In fact I think we paid you $5.00
for a job that never got done.
Oh! This guy.
You know, the yard tools are
out back. I'll go get them.
She's, uh... She's not serious, is she?
She is.
Oh, and make sure to
water the gardenias.
I've had them longer
than you've been alive.
This is ridiculous.
She should've just accepted
the $5.00 refund offer.
We need to be solving my dad's case.
Dude.
There's somebody in
old man Fuller's house.
I can't believe we're gonna bail
on the mitchells' yard again.
Come on!
Who are you, and what
are you doing here?
I should ask you the same thing.
My name's Shawn.
This is my partner,
Skooney "u-turn" Singleton.
We're from dirty boy landscaping.
I got a call from your office,
said you needed some estimates
on some renovations.
You guys are fast.
I just left word at the office
saying I needed a landscape architect.
You know, I cold-called
this geezer for years
pushing him to sell,
and he always refused.
Finally it's available.
Really?
What's so special about this place?
It's the only lot in the neighborhood
with 360-degree unobstructed views.
It'll sell for a fortune.
Don't worry, this yard will
be immaculate when we're done.
- Bye-bye. -
Be in touch.
You hear her, Shawn?
She's been cold-calling for years.
And she stands to make
a fortune on this place.
That's motive. Right?
Yeah, yeah.
It's gotta be her. What more do we need?
Let's get the cops on it right away.
I, I guess it wouldn't, uh, hurt
to have them do a
cursory background check.
Maybe, maybe look. Look
at the phone records.
- Right.
- Okay.
I'll do everything in my
power to make this process
as painless as possible.
Jules. Jules, over here!
It's about time.
Did you check the phone records?
Yep, your tip paid off.
That's great. Thank goodness.
There were all these
vibes, but I wasn't sure.
So it was Rosa.
- Who?
- The real estate agent.
No, no.
She has a solid alibi.
But we discovered quite a
few calls from someone else,
who also made numerous cash
transfers into Fuller's account.
Possibly paying off a blackmail.
Wait a second, if you're
not about to arrest Rosa,
what are you doing standing here?
Distracting you.
Distracting.
Sorry, Gus.
Shawn!
Shawn!
- No, no, no, Mr. Guster!
- Mr. Guster.
Burton, Burton, please.
Don't make a scene, darling.
The neighbors, neighbors
are watching us.
What is this?
Get in the car, ma'am. Please.
- Watch your head.
- Don't!
Don't you touch my hair!
We got here as fast as we could.
This is our worst nightmare.
It seems like everything
is conspiring against us.
So we lawyered up.
That's how they say
it in the bucket, son,
Where I did an eight-hour bid.
I don't know those words.
I'm not gonna do well in prison.
Don't worry, sweetheart.
You'll be fine.
She not gonna make it.
I told you, nobody's going to prison.
Mrs. G,
why didn't you tell anybody
that old man Fuller was
blackmailing you for all these years?
I wanted to, believe me,
I did, but I couldn't.
You see, this all started when
Bill's sailboat caught fire.
I tried to muster up the courage to
tell everybody that it was my fault.
But before I could, the insurance
company had paid everything off already.
Well, somehow, Fuller knew
the truth of what had happened.
He threatened to turn
me in for insurance fraud
if I didn't pay him every month.
Well, he was so old, I
figured paying him off
for the rest of his life
was the cheapest route.
To the police it looks like motive.
I know.
But don't worry, son.
We have called Nana.
She's to look after you in
case anything should happen
to the two of us.
Mom,
I don't need my grandmother, who lives
in a nursing home to look after me.
We hear you, son.
We hear you. Anyway, it's just
until we can raise the
money to post your mother's
bail and pay our legal bills.
Whatever the cost is, I'll cover it.
- Don't worry about it.
- We appreciate the gesture, Burton.
But, son, we're talking real money.
You have a savings
account in a penny jar.
I have a 401, a
diversified asset-allocated
portfolio full of securities
and equity to tap into.
He's always been so
good with the big words.
How much do you think we
can get for the cutlass?
Stop it! I can't take anymore!
All of my life it's been
Gus can't handle this!
Protect Gus from that!
Well, guess what?
I'm the most responsible,
well-prepared,
non-criminal-record-having
adult in this room.
And it's high time you
two stopped babying me.
I'm
29-years-old.
And by the way, I know you've
only been married for 28 years.
I did the math a long time ago.
So stop protecting me from that.
Starting now,
I'm gonna take care of you.
I'm gonna give you money.
And we're gonna solve this case.
Shawn may not have always
been the best influence on me,
but he's always believed in me,
even when I didn't believe in myself.
And right now,
I believe in him.
We hear ya, son.
All right, dude.
You had your moment, man. You nailed it.
Now go ahead and make a timely exit.
Come on, man.
Before you gotta make another speech.
Your mom being arrested might be
Christmas miracle we need for the case.
How so?
I suspect she wasn't the only one
in the neighborhood that old
man Fuller was blackmailing.
We gotta get back in his house.
Let's hurry up.
This place gives me the creeps.
Bingo!
This must be how old man Fuller
saw your mom burn your dad's boat.
Dude, there's something in there.
What do you think it is?
Will you stop it, Shawn?
You know how that story
gives me the creeps.
Norman! Norman!
Norman!
Okay, stop it, that's
enough! That's enough!
- Game over.
- Fine.
Don't play, Shawn.
Just as I thought.
He was snooping on the entire
neighborhood from up here.
These are his blackmail pictures.
Suburban pot farm.
Bootleg DVD ring.
None of these are
really cause for murder.
Covering an illicit affair.
Now that's what I call motive.
What?
You see anything?
Hurry up.
I know where our culprit lives.
Hey. Got some questions for
you about some illicit pictures.
But we already know where you live!
We call that "Sammy
Floyd's tree house ambush."
Okay, okay.
Okay. You got me.
I'll give you your pictures back.
We have pictures of you, Dude.
The ones old man Fuller
was blackmailing you for.
- What pictures are you talking
about? - I work at a one-hour photo.
I thought you were asking
about the pictures of hot,
naked chicks I sometimes keep.
Wait a minute.
This isn't you?
No.
But it kinda looks like my dad.
From about 30 years ago
when we first moved here.
Man, it was an old picture
mixed in with the new ones.
We couldn't tell the difference
because they're all black and white.
So we're looking for his dad?
- Yes.
- He passed away a few years ago.
No.
Who's this woman in the photo?
It's not my mom. That's for sure.
- She died before we moved here.
- Who the hell is she?
You know, don't really feel comfortable
talking about my family secrets, all right?
What's the name of that one-hour photo
where you hide your filthy debauchery?
I remember my dad had a female
friend who would visit only at night.
- What was her name?
- I don't remember.
- Do you know she lives?
- No.
Can you tell us anything?
I just swung from a tree.
When she left the house would
smell like, white linenperfume.
I remember it because
it was the same perfume
my mom used to wear when she was alive.
- So our culprit is a woman?
- Apparently.
Who looked like that 30 years ago.
She's hot.
What?
You have problems.
You know, I was thinking.
If, you guys have an
extra seat at that table
for Christmas dinner,
I might be available.
Carlton, I haven't been
completely honest with you.
- You see, family...
- Say no more.
Don't worry.
I won't come around anymore.
I am so sorry, Carlton.
Don't be. I mean it's. It's totally
natural for you to be jealous
if your nephews like me more than you.
- Come again?
- I get it.
You're used to being the cool aunt
that everyone wants to hang out with.
But when I'm around, you
just can't compete with that.
Sometimes I just. I forget to dial down
my coolness when I'm around kids.
They're just so impressionable.
You
are so right.
I can't compete with that.
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself.
All right, I'm sure your
nephews still think you're
really fly.
Merry Christmas, Carlton.
Great news.
We're following a new lead on the case.
That's great because I just
got my notice to appear in court
just in time for Christmas.
Look at this.
An announcement for old
man Fuller's estate sale.
Making people buy back stuff that was
probably already theirs
in the first place.
I don't know what
they put in this stuff,
But the jerk chicken from
Kingstons has always been the best.
Let me see.
Well, they got the right ratio
of black pepper, scotch bonnet,
and thyme.
Hey, son.
Whoo. I ain't mad at that.
But they should have used
a quarter less pimento.
Mom.
Minced nutmeg instead of ground.
My god.
Gus, you came by the
super smeller honest.
She also smelled like,
white linenperfume.
Dude!
Can the super smeller pick
out a scent from memory?
Well, the olfactory and memory areas
of the cerebral cortex share
the same neural pathways.
- What is that? Is that a yes?
- Yes.
Sweet! I think I know
how to solve the case!
Come on!
We'll be back.
Jules, I'm getting a
major psychic disturbance
down at old man Fuller's estate
sale. You might wanna get down here.
Okay. Hurry.
Check it out.
If our culprit's here, she's gonna
wanna get a hold of those photos.
- Right.
- If she's like most old ladies,
she probably thinks you
were on the Jeffersons,
and she wears the same
perfume from her youth.
All you gotta do is identify
who's wearingwhite linen.
- I'll take care of the rest.
- Got it.
- You ready?
- Yep.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the
next item up for bidding
- Is this one-of-a-kind.
- Excuse me.
Antiqued confederate
civil war battle flag.
Who will open the bidding at $100?
May I have $100?
Thank you. I have $100
to open the bidding.
How about $200? Can I
hear $200? $200. Thank you.
$200. Xan I hear $300? $300?
Anyone. Thank you, sir, $300.
Do I hear $400? Who will say $400?
Do I hear $400? Who
will go $400? Thank you.
I have $400. Do I have $500?
$500?
$500, who will. Thank you.
I have $500.
Come on. Any luck?
No old lady in here
is wearingwhite linen.
- Sweet. That's our only lead.
- Sold!
To the man in the blue
argyle sweater for $500.
This antique confederate battle flag.
Thank you for bidding, sir.
Enjoy your flag.
Here you go.
You can totally get a gun
rack for your truck now.
Next item up for bidding
is this box of heirlooms.
Antique photographs.
Dude, I don't know what to do.
$100 to open. You better do something.
- I supposed to smell everyone?
- Thank you.
I have $100.
Who will go $200?
Make sure to water the gardenias.
I've had them longer
than you've been alive.
Identify the base
component of that fragrance.
Gardenia.
Are you absolutely certain?
Tahitian gardenia.
- Thank you. Now give me a push.
- What?
- Give me a little push.
- Not pushing you just give me a little.
Get that ball off my grass, Guster!
Get out of my yard!
If you kids don't keep
it quiet out there,
I'm gonna call the cops!
He's channeling old man
Fuller's grumpy drunken spirit.
What's that?
What's that, you miserable old geezer?
The cops have the wrong suspects.
Well, then who's the killer?
Gladys Mitchell?
30 years ago you...
You used to deliver flowers
To the nice little widower
who moved in down the street.
One thing led to another.
The next thing you knew, you were locked
in a torrid, illicit affair.
Dirty, sweaty, an affair that if it got
to the public would not
only ruin your marriage,
but soil the good name of the
neighborhood's founding family.
Old man Fuller knew your secret!
He could see everything
from his snooping perch.
In exchange for his
silence, you had to cater
to all of his needs for
the better part of 30 years.
But oh, that bastard just
wouldn't die, would he?
No, it was as if his meanness
was keeping him alive.
And then your worst
nightmare became a reality.
He started going senile.
You couldn't risk him telling
somebody about the affair,
so you took matters into your own hands,
and you killed the son of a bitch!
That's absurd.
I couldn't possibly hang
a grown man from up there.
I can see it.
You tried to poison him!
But he spit it out.
Then you panicked. You grabbed a hammer.
You tried to bash in his skull!
But no, he just wouldn't die!
His little feet twitching
this way and that!
And then a really desperate move.
You grabbed the disoriented Fuller!
You pushed him over to
the base of the stairs.
You found yourself a nice piece of rope.
You tied one end around his Neck!
You draped the otherend
over the bannister
and you tied it to the Chair lift.
And then you used that Chair lift
to pull old man Fuller
all the way up and over the bannister
at this ridiculous, agonizing pace.
And that
is how you killed that
ancient, pruney relic.
I'm so sorry, Honey.
I just couldn't let him ruin everything
that we worked so hard to build.
Guster, you can tell your parents
we're gonna drop the charges.
Good work, Shawn.
You've already had your moment.
All right, let's light this puppy up.
Well, Shawn, it looks like
another draw this year?
Yes.
It appears so.
Look at that. Little Psych golf balls.
I also signed you up for
lessons with the golf pro
down at the Santa
Barbara municipal course.
That's sweet, dad. Thank you.
All right, your turn.
All right.
I have no idea what this is.
What do we got here?
"Dear dad, you got me
monogrammed psych golf balls
and golf lessons with the pro
down at the municipal course."
Turn it, turn it, turn it.
I believe his name is Pierre.
I got you, old man!
That's it, Shawn, you
know, this is the last year
we're gonna play this
stupid little game.
Somebody doesn't like to lose.
Because you're an old
grinch during christmastime.
- The name is Ebenezer Grinch man.
- Stop. Stop!
Grinch of the Cruise Scrooge grinchies.
Shawn.
Here you go. Here's your real gift.
What?
- Wait, what's it gonna do?
- Just give her a rip.
So what's there? What's in there?
Look at that.
That's me fishing.
In the snow. It's snowing.
That's really nice, Shawn.
That's great. Thank you.
Thank you. All right.
Thank you.
Thank you for a lovely dinner.
I think we should be going now.
Yes. Thank you.
It was my pleasure. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
I got a perfect place for this.
You all should get some rest.
You've been through a lot.
Finally things can get
back to the way they were.
Well, almost.
I've been thinking, maybe
we could use some advice
about that diversification stuff.
Seem like you're doing
pretty good for yourself.
And making some good business decisions.
Sure!
No problem. Let me go get the car.
Mr. Spencer.
Shawn.
Now, you look after Burton for us.
Are you sure this is enough?
I mean, this is Gus we're
talking about, right?
Don't worry, Mr. G, I got it covered.
Merry Christmas, Shawn.
Merry Christmas to you all.
Bye, Guys!
All right, all right, all
right. How did you do it?
Come on. Don't. Don't.
Don't...
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