Preacher (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 9 - Overture - full transcript

Bring him home,
and you'll get your looks back.

And... boom.

Target acquired.

At long last,
the apocalypse has an air date!

Jesse, live.

I didn't forsake you.

You wanted to.

See you at the Apocalypse.

Bring your friends.

Hey...

Cass...



Do you think
we should tell him?

No. Okay.

He'll understand.

After everything
he's been through, you know?

Mum's the word.

Here he is. Captain Morgan.

Okay, so, we slept together.

Not his fault, not mine.

You were gone,
so we can't feel bad about it.

So you can lose
your shit if you want

and Word us into toads.

But just do it now
and get it over with.

Thanks for telling me.

You're welcome.



Turn you into what?

Toads.

We understand if you hate us.

No.

I love you both very much.

No matter what.

Is that it?

Anything else?

Well... we're gonna go
and get Humperdoo,

destroy the Grail,
and maybe save the world

from a fiery apocalypse.

- Huh.
- Only if you're up for it.

Humperdoo.

Where is he?

Hey!

Bless me, Messiah.

Ah!

Aah!

Ohh!

Pink banana!

Ah.

My child.

Would you?

No, I-I-I meant...

Oh, you wa...

Sure.
Yeah, get in there.

And the ballerina is out.

Haka dancers in 10.

Get ready!

Cue the mimes.
Cue the mimes.

Where are my mimes?

Hi, kid.

Let's go!

Now you don't show?

Come on!

This may be a bit weird,
but, uh, all things considered,

and I don't wanna jinx it...

but I got a really good feeling
about where things are headed.

You know?

So, we good?

One good thing about going
to Hell and back, Cass...

You get perspective.

No, she was right.
I was gone.

But now I'm back.

Just to be clear:

when you guys say "get
Humperdoo," you mean...

Rescue.
Hump never hurt a fly.

This is
a rescue mission.

- Ow!
- Nissa. Mr. Cassidy.

So sorry.
Pardon the mess.

That's our ride?

Oh, you ready?

Uh-oh.

Sounds like Tony's
"bacon" us crazy again.

Oh!

Aah!

Man,
these morning shows.

I tried to tell you!

The whole planet's
gone off the rails!

But you idiots
just wouldn't listen!

- Anything for ratings.
- Nobody would list...

What the...

What is this?

- Whoo!
- We love you!

Starr.

Yay!

- Whoo!
- We love you, Allfather!

Today is the day,
ladies and gentlemen,

believers, and apostates.

We love you!

Today's the day,
at long last,

when this grotesque and
orderless world comes to an end.

Praise you!

Praise you, Allfather!

For those of you watching
at home, here's how it goes.

A few opening acts...

singers, jugglers,

ethnic musicians,
a female comedian,

and then, when the clock
hits zero...

...the Messiah will dance!

And so signal The Apocalypse.

Clamor, chaos, fire from above,

et cetera and et cetera.

The righteous will be spared,
of course.

But the sinners...

That's right, the sinners...

The feminists...

...degenerates...

...and desperados!

...today's the day
they! Get! Theirs!

My son?

Be careful
with our child.

I see everything.

Understand?

I know everything.

But Abel.

He just wouldn't believe me,
poor schmuck.

He'd keep saying to me,
"No, no,

Cain's not just my big brother,
he's my best friend."

Are you kidding me?!

Sorry to disturb you, sir,
but...

Hey, Dad.

Hello, Jesus.

Hey, I, uh...

You know, I know today's
a big day for you,

so I, uh, just wanted
to wish you good luck.

Um, both of you.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you, Jesus.

Anything else?

Um, like you say, it's a...
It's a busy day,

and, uh,
He needs to focus, so...

Yeah, of course.

Uh, of course.

Ach, n-nein!

I believe in you!
Schnell!

Uh, Dad.

Just one more thing.

Huh!

Good.

So, anyway.
Cain and Abel...

Ow! Ow! Aah!

Oh, hush now!
That didn't hurt.

Wha...

That did.

Ohh, I know.

I know.

Scary.

But we don't want
anyone hurting you.

Yeah.

Where's Cass?

Cass?!

Over here.

Check this out.

Remember, this is
not a rescue mission.

No matter what he says.

You know
what needs to be done, right?

Where is everybody?

Up there.

Alright, let's go.

Oh, not again.

Cass?!

Cass!

Attention, all murderers.

Please don't murder in jail.

In jail, murdering is
strictly...

I hear
they're letting you out.

So what do you want?

I've been wondering
the same thing.

What's His plan
for someone like you?

Comic relief?

Cautionary tale?

Appetite suppressant?

Or maybe He just doesn't wanna
think about it anymore.

A mistakes-were-made-best-
forgotten-kinda thing.

Or maybe, in the end,

when it comes
to someone like you?

There is no plan.

Cass!

Cassidy?

What do you want to do?

Forget him.

Picture a mountain.

A mile wide
and soaring high,

made entirely of
pure flaked Peruvian heroin.

Picture the girl.

Tulip.

All to yourself.

Picture Ireland.

Ah, that's right.

Your deepest desires...

Billy?

Come on then,
what're ya waitin' for?

A victory parade?

Careful now,
don't crush him!

That'd be poor thanks for
the man who saved me life.

Ah!
Out of the way, ya gombeens!

You came back to us.

I knew you would.

Ohh, my boy.

A second chance, Proinsias.

The life you could've had,

the man you should've been,

and if it weren't
for that Jesse Custer,

that smug sonofabitch...

the girl you would've had.

And all you have to do

is one, little thing.

It's gonna be okay, Jesse.

Alright?
Cass can look after himself.

The amount of shit he's gotten
up and walked away from?

Yeah. A lotta shit.

Hey.
Jesse, listen to me, okay?

It's gonna be okay,
I promise.

Shit.

That's God.

Now, you listen to me,
Jesse Custer. I sw...

The whole time I was
with Him in the desert,

the whole time I was
with Him,

when he showed me
who He was:

arrogant, hateful...

...even when His teeth
were ripping into my flesh,

I never thought to stop Him.

I never thought to use
my power to stop God.

I just never dared.

I read the letter,
you know?

And?

What's "perpetuity" mean?

It means forever.

Hm.
Well, I knew that.

I was just checking
if you knew.

Now I really wish
I hadn't burnt it.

What'd you do that for?

Well, I sorta burnt
a church down.

Aw.

Well, I ain't proud of it.

Well, this is
officially bullshit.

Get me up there so I can
open it from the outside.

Alright.

Hey.

Be careful.

I ain't scared of Him.

You should be.

I know, right?

The ninth wonder
of the musical world...

Good house.
Very respectful.

No candy wrappers,
no texting.

Went crazy
for Paula Poundstone.

Hm. She's funny.

Something the matter,
Flufferman?

I'm sorry, sir.

It's just

this is it.

Yes.

Tonight... is it.

Yes! It's everything
we've worked for.

God is
on security tonight.

You should enjoy it,
take a break.

Well, thank you, sir.

We've made a good team.

We've made a great team.

Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm.

You're a handsome woman.

And I am
a very handsome man.

You're just mental.

You make dogs die
when they eat chocolate.

You know, Don Jr.? Testicles?
That's terrible design.

You know, you've had
some bad ideas in the past,

but this is
just the worst.

We both would hate to see
anything happen to him.

Don't give me that.

You...
You... You just want me

to look after Hump
'til he dances,

and then the whole
bleedin' world blows up.

- So what?
- 3 billion people is what.

Seven billion, six hundred
ninety-two million and change.

I just can't believe...

Honestly, I-I-I had hoped
that the secret to the universe

was something
a bit more complex than just

"God's a frizzy-haired,
homicidal lunatic."

Who are you defending?!

People?!

Over a hundred years and all
they've done is torment you.

And, besides, they're all
gonna die sooner or later.

That's one of humanity's best
features, don't you think?

Well...

Well, they've done
good stuff, too. Alright?

- Yeah, like what?
- Like...

Italian food's good,
isn't it?

- Uh, Paul Newman.
- Yeah.

- Season Two of "The Love Boat."
- Okay. Alright.

- Brilliant.
- Alright.

Be honest with me:

Did you really think,
at the end of the day,

that she could ever love
something like you

without
a little Divine Intervention?

You just think I'm weak.

Yeah, you do.

Yeah, You d... You think
I'm just a selfish bum

who can't come through
in the pinch.

No, Proinsias.

I think you're
a tired little boy...

...who wants to go home.

We enjoyed that,
didn't we?

You were
certainly ready, sir.

Mm.

Years since I tapped
into my wanton carnality.

Lots of lost time
to make up for.

We could probably fit
in another... session

before The Holy Child
dances.

Hmm. Aren't you
the greedy little Gus?

I meant after the show.

Oh.

If only, sir.

What's that supposed
to mean?

I just meant that, after
the show, we'll be in Heaven.

We won't be able
to do this again.

You're confused.

The old plan
was for total annihilation,

the new plan is limited.

Limited, sir?

Yes.

A few bombs here and there
to take out the Danes,

the teacher unions,
the hippies.

New plans were drawn up.

Sent out to our undercover
field operatives.

Were there?

Yes, I gave them
to Hoover Two...

Shit.

But, sir, what's the point
of limiting an apocalypse?

The point is to kill
and not get killed. Obviously.

But I thought
that was the plan.

To die and ascend gloriously
into Heaven.

Please, you're starting
to sound like one

of those religious kooks.

Now, clean yourself up,
but don't touch my bidet.

I don't want any
of your unsightly...

Anyway,
I need to go fix this.

Herr Starr.
I have to know.

Wh-Why join The Grail
in the first place?

What...
What was all this for?

Violence... power...

dirty sex.

Why else?

I mean, you've certainly had
your fill, Flufferman.

Just look at yourself.

You going to Heaven?

Please.

Come on!

Or don't.

Up to you.

So embarrassing.

Ach.

Do you think I was
"embarrassed" after Stalingrad?

Nein, I just kept going,
never quit.

He doesn't want me.

I don't know
what else to do.

Don't you?

Oh, I appreciate
your support, Hitler.

Believing in me
the whole time...

but no.

I'm not a murderer.

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

Of course, of course.
I know.

I am.

Hey.

Hey!

I-I'm sorry.
I...

I know I should be up with the
others enjoying the apocalypse,

but, forgive me,
I-I don't wanna die.

Aah!

This'll do.

Have a seat.

Screw you.

You ever see the inside
of a passenger elevator

after its cable snaps?

Looks like
chili con carne.

Sit.

- Well, that was easy.
- What?

Told you to do something,
and you just... did it?

You threatened
to pulverize my boyfriend.

Yeah, but I was hoping
for a bit more fight.

Don't you have
some other dumbass shit

you should be doing?

Like blowing up the world
or something?

Soon. Mm.

What do you want?

I just told you.

I want a fight.

Tulip?

Tulip!

Help!

Help!

A punch in the face,

a kick in the balls.

I deserve it, don't I?

All the terrible things
I've done?

Oh, yeah, for sure.

So come on.

Take a shot.

You know what?

Maybe before I woulda
been interested, but now?

I'm good.

Oh, you think so?

- Um-hm.
- Uh-huh.

You're, uh...
You're good, huh?

Yeah, I see. I see.

You think you've changed.

No.

No, people like you,

you don't change.

Not really.

You wanna know
what I think?

I think the days of me
caring about what you think

are done.

Well, I bet
I can make you care.

60 seconds.

I bet I can make you lose
that famous temper of yours

and hit me.

And if I'm wrong, you win.

I'll leave
you and your friends alone.

I'll even call off
the apocalypse.

Hold on.
No, hold on.

Just sit here and not hit you
for one minute?

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

What's the catch?

The catch?

The catch is the same

as always, O'Hare:

You're gonna screw it up.

Murderer.

Mm.

Whore.

Liar.

Mm...

Cheat.

You're doing very well.

Let's see, um...

How about...

Dallas?

You remember Dallas?

Losing the baby.

Losing your daughter.

In fact, you want to know
what I was thinking there?

The cosmic, sweeping reason
for her death?

O'Hare, wouldn't you finally
like to know why?

I can't remember.

I win.

And next we...

Cass?

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Cass.

Jesse.

I said no.

He... He...
He tried to tempt me.

He said He could send me home.
I said no.

Good man. Good man.

- I'll get some blood.
- No, no, no, no, no.

There's no time.

You have to get Humperdoo.

You're gonna kill him,
aren't you?

God won't let us take him,
Cass.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

I'm sorry I'm so weak.

No, you're not.

Look at you.
You're a survivor.

Yeah.

I'm so sick of it.

What are you talking about?

He said He could
send me home, Jesse.

But you were strong.

You turned Him down.

You turned Him down.

I said no.

Over and over, I said no...

...until I said yes.

Well done, Proinsias.

I did it for Hump.

I didn't do it for you.

Oh, whatever you want to tell
yourself, vampire.

Still...

you must be thirsty.

Back to work!

♪ Closing time ♪

Ohh!

Oh, my God.

The world is ending,
the theater is full,

and the church is empty.

I rest my case.

Now you quit?!

If ever there
was an occasion.

What more do you want?

My mom, my dad,
my eye, my friends.

You've taken everything.

I want

what was taken from me.

Genesis.

It was never meant to be.

It's a stain.

On both Heaven and Hell.

A blasphemous stain.

A power to rival your own.

Well, maybe so.

That'd solve everything
for you, wouldn't it?

If Genesis worked on me?

Try it.

Look at me.

Hey.

Look at me.

Aah! Aah!

Come on, Preacher.

Here's your chance.

Command me!

You fear me.

As you should!

Why are you doing this?

You're from Hell.

What do you care
who the Messiah is?

Because I want to win,
of course.

Humperdoo is divine.

That much is clear.

He would be
a formidable opponent.

Whereas you...

I said no.

Murder is wrong.

What? Will you stop me
with the power of love?

Maybe I will.

Get off me, you loser!

Whoa!

"Function," "start," "send."

Nothing's happening.

Are you sure you
pressed the right buttons?

I'm telling you,
it's not sending.

And have you tried
turning off and unplugging?

Adnan, listen to me
very carefully.

If I don't get
those override orders out,

you, your family, your entire
tech support department,

and everyone else
on planet Earth

will be consumed in a nuclear
firestorm, understand?

Well, uh,
please hit "function,"

"start," and "send."

"Function," "start," "send."

"Function,"
"start," "send."

Come on, come...

Humperdoo!

Yeah, buddy.
Can't wait.

Our time is almost done.

Time to release Genesis.

Let it go.

But why do I have it?

Why'd it find me
in the first place?

God only knows.

Now give it to me.

Well, go ahead.
Just take it.

Give it to me!

God All-mighty,

my ass.

You want it so bad,
why don't you reach in

and take it,
you son of a bitch.

What did you do?

Hmm.

You.

That's right.

The Saint of Killers.

Yes.

We know each other.

We actually go way back.

Isn't that right, William,

my old friend?

Way back.

He's all yours.
Do it.

What are
you waiting for?

Shoot him.

Shoot him.

He's not here for me,
Preacher.

He's here for you.