Preacher (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 6 - The Lost Apostle - full transcript

Eugene?

Due to my
negligence, Tulip O'Hare

and Cassidy
have escaped Masada.

I'm ready to die.

I'm ready, too.

Sir, please.

Jesus Christ, huh?

I know, right?
And we're takin' off.

- Aah!
- He wants to see Las Vegas.

Where is this conference I'm
supposed to be helping out with?

Shall we begin?



He's my son, too!

Get back in the kitchen
or so help me ...!

Or what?!
You'll hit me again?!

Oh, please!

I squeezed your arm.

Son, let's go.

Son... there are times
in a man's life

when he's gotta do things
he don't wanna do.

This is one'a them.

Ya don't gotta do this,
Abe.

Please, don't do it!

Go back inside!

I swear, Abe,
you're wrong about this.

Is Mama sad?



- She'll be alright.
- Stop!

Sufferin's a part
of life.

Isn't it?

Yes, Papa.

There ain't nothin'
in this world that's free.

I mean, you think all this
don't come with a price?

No, Papa.

You're a smart boy.

Take after your ma.

Are you sad, Papa?

I'll be alright.

Are we going
to suffer?

More than you know.

Stay your hand,
Abraham!

God?

I was gonna do it.

I was gonna do it.

I was gonna do it!

I was gonna kill my only son
for you!

Indeed, you were,
my child.

It was a test.

You passed.

I passed?

Come!

I love you so, so much.

Come!

I love you so, so much.

I love you so, so much.

I love you so, so much.

Hello?

- Are you ready?
- Phase Two.

Let's stir
the hornet's nest,

shall we?

See who gets stung.

Yes. Good.

Excellent metaphor.

Is that the guinea pig,
My Lord?

No.

How's my boy doing?

Good.
He's holding his own.

Hitler's a tough negotiator,
of course...

The Messiah.

The one you call
Humperdoo.

How's he doing?

He's doing well.

They, uh... they...
they just took him

to get his feet waxed,

otherwise I know
he'd love to talk.

Okay, then.

So, when do we meet?

Soon.

I'll, um...
I'll call you later.

Great. I'll just sit here and await your ca...

Where are you getting these
inflated figures from here, Jesus?

Simple addition.

Baptisms
and absolutions.

But your father gave them
free will, ja?

Initiate Phase Two:
Escalate.

Bloody Aussies,
bro.

Keep moving.

It's the
Deputy Prime Minister.

G'day there.

Who's in charge?!

The Commishna.

Well, we want a word
with this commissioner.

Best ya pull
yer bloody head in.

Commishna's heaps bizzay
with Mrs. Bloody Bushwick.

Besides,
thay's prow-tah-caws t'folla

for all civvy intercourse
with coppahs.

You need to fill out
an M.C., Code A.C.I.C.

Then come back s'arvo and
we'll set up an appointo then.

We want to talk
to your Commissioner.

Didn't ya hear
what I just sai'?

- You can't jus...
- Oh, but we can, Missy.

And who the hell are you?

We're the Americans.

No worries, mate.
She'll be right.

No. She won't ever be right.
Mate.

You know, you guys,
you botched up

a three-year undercover
assignment, you know that?

And I got tatted up
for no reason,

but this one here,
this one,

she lost her partner
to this preacher

and you wanna tell her,
"It'll be right"?

We had no idea he was
of interest to you Yanks.

Everything's of interest
to us.

I want everything
you got.

I want credit card activity,
I want criminal associates,

I want
last known location.

This is our case now.

But there is no case.

Not anymore.

Your man's dead.

That's a lie.

No.

Death by gunshot.

Got the killer locked up
downstairs.

What killer?

What killer?

Bullshit, Eugene.

You wouldn't hurt
a fly.

He's one ugly Bruce.

No wonder he's mad
at the world.

Yeah, well...

That's just the thing.

He's got a face
like an ass,

but he's really quite
a sweet kid.

We found blood
on his clothes,

powder burn on his hand,

weapon he used,
and he said he did it.

There was no body,
so...

So, look at 'im.

My money says
we'll find your man

in that ass-face bastard's
stool.

Mm-hmm.

Now,
you listen to me.

You may have shot him,

but when he's dead,
I will know.

Understand?

'Cause Jesse's alive.

Why?

Wh-What does that mean?

Where is he?

Eugene,
where is he?!

Ahhh!

Uh! Uhh!

Got a gentle touch there,
Doc.

What's next?

Sponge bath?

Ahh! Ahh!

God!

Burnin' daylight.

I was thinking
of sleepin' in.

Move.

Drop your weapons
and get on your knees.

Just checkin'.

Where we going?

Ooh.

To kill God.

Deathbed conversions?

You cannot be serious.

Whoever believes
is not condemned.

Whoever does not believe is.

So, by your logic,

one could start
a world war,

or try to exterminate
an entire people,

level Danzig,

und still go to Heaven,

if they repent
at the last second?

If they repent, yes.

Well,
that is going to change.

- Oh, no, it isn't.
- Yes, it is.

Or I am taking back
the homosexuals.

Well then... maybe there doesn't
need to be an apocalypse,

after all!

I'm sorry, gentlemen,

but we are having
the apocalypse.

In fact,
it's already underway.

Ja?

Phase Two?

Escalate.

A spark to set the world
on fire.

I love it.

Souls are coming.

In numbers.
In bulk.

So, you need to decide

which souls are going to Heaven
and which to Hell.

Chop-chop, then.

Back to work.

Revenge
won't bring you peace.

Be angry,

call Him
a son-of-a-bitch,

but you can't kill Him.

.44 Walker.

It's the most powerful handgun
ever made.

And mine can shoot through
planets.

I can kill Him.

Let's go.

Eat shit.

I said, "Let's go."

And then I said...
"Eat shit."

Took my family, too.

My dad, mom.

They were good people.

Lot better than me and you,
that's for sure.

Had a baby, too, once.

Tulip and I.

Dallas. Years ago.

All this shit?

Sufferin' and commotion?

Don't you wanna know
what the hell? Why?

I do.

I need to know
what it means.

Well, I'm not dead.

Which means
you want me alive,

which means
I'm calling the shots.

So, why don't you holster
your planet-shootin' guns

and walk away?

Leave God to me.

Wanna see what it means...
Preacher?

No.

Wait!

Just sit tight

until the Americans arrive,
Charlie.

Charlie?

Charlie? You there?

We gotta go.

We just missed them.

Gotta be
right up ahead.

...across Oceania
as a bellicose New Zealand

has mobilized
their Carrier Strike Force

in the Tasman Sea in response
to the allegation

that Australia is responsible
for the murder

of their beloved
Deputy Prime Minister.

Hike ya daks, mate.

We might have
a situation.

The Australian Prime Minister
denies the claims,

but asserts the country's
right to defend itself

against any violation
of its sovereignty.

Streuth.

Bloody Kiwis.

I've been told
they got snakes out here.

One bite'll make you lie down
and piss blood out yer ass.

Tryna find some
to send your way,

but looks like
they run off scared.

Murdering son-of-a-bitch
like you?

I don't blame 'em.

Uhh.

Ahh.

You got any water?

Oh, you don't get
thirsty.

How 'bout a cigarette?

Well,
don't tell me you quit.

What kind of a cowboy
are you?

What's the point of being
a dead demon

if you can't even...

...smoke?

I liked the snake idea
better.

I'm not gonna let you
kill Him.

I'll die before I do.

So, we're around here
somewhere, okay.

And Jesse is somewhere...
out there.

So, yeah, okay.

Good. We just start
driving around

and, uh... find him.

Driving around where?
There aren't any roads.

There are roads, Cass.

Look.

There's one.

There's a road.

Right there,
there's one.

Mm-hmm.
There's not many.

I...

I didn't say "many,"
okay?

You said there was none
and that's wrong.

There are actual roads
that we could follow them on.

Not many. Some.

What about the letter?

I don't know,
maybe you missed somethin'.

Maybe there was a clue
or somethin'.

There's nothing in that letter
I missed, okay?

You never said
what's in it.

'Cause it's none
of your business.

I don't mean
the personal stuff.

I just mean... you know,
his plans,

like where he was headed.

Maybe there's something
in the letter.

I didn't read the letter,
okay?

Alright.

I mean,
what'd be the point?

It either says,
"You're a dumb bitch,"

or, "You're a dumb bitch
and I forgive you," and...

either one is bullshit,
so screw him.

Why don't I read it?

What?

I mean, you still have it,
right?

You've not
thrown it away.

Somewhere.

Alright, so, you know,

I just skim past
all the personal stuff

and see
if there's any clues

as to where
he might've been going.

Maybe it could help us.

You know?

It won't help.

Actually,
do you know what?

Gonna go grab a smoke.

Hello?

Hello?

Another cuppa?

No, thanks, you...

Christ, you people
and your "cuppas."

Getcha anything else then,
hon?

Uhh.

Do you know what, actually,
I'm a bit of a drug addict,

who's had nothing
but cuppas

since I got to yer
no-road hellhole of a country

and I'm starting to feel
a bit down.

So, unless you have a quantity
of crack, crank, or skag handy,

or maybe in some household
just lyin' around

like some disinfectant
or some paint thinner,

maybe a bit of descaler.

You got any of that?

No?

Right, well, I think
I'll just take a check.

Thanks. Sheila.

There might be some
fire retardant 'round back.

Mmm.

Son-of-a bitch.

Oh, my God.

Cass?!

Mm.

He's gonna meet God.

- Hmm?
- See?

Mmm.

What is...
what is that?

It's fire retardant.

Mmm.

That's where
he's meeting Him.

I just hope
there's roads.

Hmm.

We don't need
no stinkin' roads.

Gentlemen,
I'm going to Australia.

I'll be right back.

I have to warn you,
Hoover Two,

when I get back,
I'll be quite attractive.

I look forward to it,
sir.

Attention,
all Grail personnel,

the car wash will be open
regular hours.

Lotta walkin'.

I guess it's your thing.

Cowboy without a horse
and all that.

Makes me miss the "I run while
you try and kill me" days.

They'll come again.

Don't worry.

I hope so.

'Cause this shit's
gettin' boring.

You think he's knows
what's coming?

He better.

Else it's gonna sting.

- Get ready.
- Alright.

Got a feeling that someday
you're gonna be mad at me.

I'm mad at you right now,
Preacher.

No, I mean, someday,
you're gonna be more mad at me.

When that day comes
and you got me in your sights,

I want you
to remember...

without me,

God gets away with it.

Now.

Hey!

What?!

- Hey!
- Oh, hey!

Hey.

Hey.

She said...
She said, "Hey."

Still mad at me,
huh?

Yeah.

She didn't read
the letter?

Nah.
She'll come around.

We gotta make a stop.

No, we know, we know.

Listen to me.

When we find God,

yer making him explain
"The Big Lebowski," alright?

No, no, I mean it.
After all this

and I don't get an explanation
for that,

I'm gonna punch something.

G'day.

Whaddya got there,
mate?

A plutonium
fissile device.

25 kilotons.

Ah. An atomo bomb.

Why're yeh doin' that for?

We're from New Zealand.

No, you're not.

Sure, we are.

Don't be a bloody dag,
bro.

Ye take me
for a drongo?

I know a Kiwi when I see one
and yer no...

Phase Two is in place
and awaits your command.

Any sign of Custer?

Not yet.

Eager for your revenge,
Klaus?

You wanted to cut a...
a, uh...

To carve a vagina
into Custer's head.

- Vagina.
- That's right.

Delightful piece
of sadistic irony.

And my reward, as well.

Uh, my looks.

My beauty fully restored.

Right, right,
right, right.

It's just that, uh,
physical attractiveness

has always been sort of
a calling card for me.

And you'll have it,
God willing.

How is
the Christ child?

Uh, good, good.

Focused.

Deep in rehearsal
for the big show and...

...you know I lost him,
don't you?

That's why you keep asking.

It wasn't me!

It was Custer!
He's the one that broke him out!

But don't worry.

We'll... we'll find him.

I hope so.

God, I love that kid.

Of course.

We all do.

What's not to lo...

What's that?

That...

is canis lupus dingo.

Dingo?

One of
my hardier creations.

He disables his prey
by ripping out the trachea.

And if the animal is too tall
and he can't reach the throat...

Don't ever cross me again!

There's your rock.

And there's your God.

Where'd you get this?

Oh, I found it
in God's trailer.

What?

Where? How?

We just got lucky.

- Shit.
- It's a trap.

We've gotta get out of here.
Go!

Go! Go! Go!

Aah!

Aah!

I gotcha, Padre!

Shit!

Oh! Goddamn it!

Ahh!

Uhh! Let go!

I gotcha!

No, you don't!

Cass, let me go!

Tell Tulip...
to read the letter.

No, no, no!
No, Jess... Jesse!

Jesse, don't!

Let me go!