Preacher (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 3 - Deviant - full transcript

Eternity.

Imagine a place
where perfection is timeless,

where wisdom
meets beauty...

romance meets revelation...

every time
is like the first time...

...except you look
even better.

What's your secret?

I'll never tell.

Neither will we.

Toscani's face cream.

Aging doesn't
have to be torture.



Unh.

Herr Starr,

he wanted to put you
in the sun to burn,

but I said no.

I said,
"Let me take care of him.

'Cause this guy is special.

This guy..."

"...deserves a forever home."

Oh, hey.

You're gonna love
Bensonhurst.

Freak!
Go back to the circus!

God's gone.

What the...

Can I help you?



Oh, my.

A preacher.

Yeah.
There's a kid upstairs.

- At the window. He seems pretty scared.
- Mm.

Nothing more deliciously winsome
than a fearful child.

Which is why he's booked
through the week.

I was hoping you weren't gonna
say something like that.

But then, you did.

We're over here.
Come join us.

Dr. Lee to the infirmary.

Mm.

I know
it's not Christian of me

but I hope they hang that
preacher when they catch him.

Nah.

He's gone.

Luckily, you're fine.

A few contusions,
scrapes, and bumps,

but no broken bones,
no hemorrhaging.

Okay, good.

Never been
a big hemorrhager.

So, back to work.

Got this co-worker
can't find his ass

without me
holding the flashlight.

Love the dedication.

We'll have you
outta here in no time.

You said I was fine.

On the outside.

But before you go,

I'd like to run
a psychological test

just to make sure

there aren't any deeper,
unseen traumas

we may have missed.

That be okay?

Man, that sounds...
oh, mm.

What time is it?

It's, uh, 20 after 5:00.

Oh, flip.
My shift starts at 5:30.

- Gimme a rain check?
- I'm sorry.

I can't
release you without it.

Hey, doc?

You've touched my shoulder
twice now,

and I'm fine.

I think you need
to just relax

and lie back down.

Aah!

I said don't touch me!

- ♪ Move ♪
- ♪ Gotta get up, I gotta get up ♪

- ♪ Move ♪
- ♪ Gotta get up, I gotta get up ♪

- ♪ Move ♪
- ♪ Gotta get up, I gotta get up ♪

- ♪ Move ♪
- ♪ Na-na, na-na, na ♪

♪ Na-na, na, now ♪

♪ Gotta get up,
I gotta get up ♪

- ♪ Move ♪
- ♪ Gotta get up, I gotta get up ♪

- ♪ Move ♪
- ♪ Gotta get up, I gotta get up ♪

- ♪ Move ♪
- ♪ Na-na, na-na, na ♪

♪ Na-na, na, now ♪

Ow!

♪ Na-na, na, now ♪

♪ Na-na, na, now ♪

Bitch.

♪ Na-na, na, now ♪

Nobody...

♪ Na-na, na, now ♪

...touches me.

Aah!

Here you go, doc.

I got it now.

I've worked with
guys like you before.

Screw-ups, meatheads.

The repeat clients.

Guys who couldn't get
outta their own way.

You know,
they piss and moan

about being "unlucky"
or some shit,

but it ain't luck
that keeps 'em comin' back.

It's guilt.

For some reason,

they think
they deserve it.

So, here we are,

lost in thought,

plotting our next move,

scheming
our bloody revenge.

He's sick,
sadistic, cruel.

Even by
Brooklyn standards.

We can only imagine
the upbringing

that would produce
such a rough-handed hooligan

as that man.

We won't be happy

until he's dying, gutted
and gasping at our feet.

Right?

So, what's the plan?

What are we gonna do
to get out of this one?

Nothing.

Right.

We lie in wait.

We wait,

poised patiently
in the tall grass,

and then,
when the time's right,

we pounce and slash
and rip and feast!

I mean, I'm not gonna do
anything.

All right?

Just let him take me.

Oh.

That's boring.

I like
our other plan better.

♪ Oh, sweet darlin' ♪

- And for you?
- Whiskey.

No whiskey.

- What?
- This is a family establishment.

Chicken meat shakes is one thing,

but if you want whiskey
on top of it,

you boys best
keep movin' on.

Order up!

♪ Say you're mine ♪

♪ Please ♪

♪ Say you're mine ♪

He sent me to Hell.

No?

No.

What do you have in mind
that would suit him better?

Mm.

Someone comes along,
kills your family,

ruins your life,
sends you to Hell?

In my book,

an apology don't beat
a bullet to the brain.

Well, we'll see what
God's plan is for that.

♪ You start dancin'
and a-singin' a song ♪

♪ Your heart feels lighter,
and all the day long ♪

♪ You got
a sweet, sweet love ♪

...and that was
the last time

she wore a bikini at breakfast,
believe me!

Anyway...

You ever see "Hoosiers"?

The film about the white boys

that almost win
the basketball tournament?

Remember what got you here.

Focus on the fundamentals

that we've gone over
time and time again.

If you put your effort
and concentration

into playing
to your potential,

to be the best
that you can be,

I don't care
what the scoreboard says

at the end of the game,

in my book,
we're gonna be winners!

Okay?!

Or not.

So, Bensonhurst.

Hmm.

Named after Egbert himself.

Great man,
if you like bastards.

Cannoli City.

Mm.

The Jewel of 18th Avenue.

I can smell the Italians
already...

and the Chinamen.

We're one lucky dog.

Bensonhurst sucks.

Then why are we going?

'Cause I got
nowhere else to go.

Nowhere else
I deserve to go.

I'm sensing backstory.

Sod off!
How am I...

How am I supposed
to get any place

with you lot acting...

You're all grown
now, Proinsias.

No more messin' around.

The Brotherhood
is countin' on you.

Send those
British wankers home.

Oh, I will, sir.
I will.

Good lad.

Go.

Make the Cassidys proud.

I'm gonna make
all of Ireland proud.

You're gonna see that.

Grammy B.

Well, I'll be keepin'
your Easter supper warm

for when
you come home to me.

Only if Da
don't fleece it first.

If he so much as lays a hand on
it, I'll box his ears.

I know you will, Grammy B.
I know.

That'll be Billy.
He's come to collect me.

Hey, there, Billy!

Heya, Proinsias.

Hello, Mrs. Cassidy.

Right.

Well, you boys
take care of each other.

Oh, we will.

Those lord muck Brits

are messin'
with the wrong blokes.

Isn't that right, there,
Billy?

We ought
to get crackin'.

Right.

Ah.

You'll come home safe
to us.

The angels
will be watching over ya.

♪ If a man's a sailor,
he can get along ♪

- Good luck to you, Proinsias.
- Farewell.

♪ If he's not,
then he's sure in Hell ♪

- Make us proud, Proinsias.
- Oh, we will!

Farewell, my boy.

♪ So, it's fare thee well ♪

♪ My own true love ♪

♪ When I return,
united we will ♪

♪ United we will be ♪

♪ It's not the leaving
of Liverpool ♪

♪ That grieves me ♪

♪ But my... ♪

- Aah!
- Onward!

Shoot them all
on sight!

The time has come
to answer the call.

To strike a blow against
our oppressor

and proclaim
an Irish Republic!

Because of our deaths,

we will live on forever
in the minds of our people!

And our blood
will flow in buckets

to quench their thirst
for justice!

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

It's all right, Billy.

He's just bein'
inspirational.

Come on.

Let's go.

Let's go!

You sure about this,
Proinsias?

Yeah, sure I am.

Let's make 'em proud, Billy,
huh?

Lookee here. A survivor.

Hardy stock
these Irish, no?

Tough to kill, Sarge.

All we can do
is do our best.

About the Irish, you know.

They're so desperate
for anything.

Those Irish scum
are going to pay

for interrupting
my Easter whoring.

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

In the end,
I just thought...

it's better they think
I'm dead, you know?

Instead of
seeing what I'd become.

I turned my back
on a friend in need.

And I got what I deserved,
you know?

I don't blame you angel types
for givin' up on me.

Yeah.

Just another Irishman
feelin' sorry for himself.

No, no, no.

Not at all.

We were touched.

Hm.

♪ So, fare thee well,
my own true love ♪

♪ When I return,
united we will be ♪

♪ It's not the leaving
of Liverpool ♪

♪ That grieves me ♪

♪ But my darling
when I think of thee ♪

The angels will be
watching over you.

Dear Tulip...

I imagine
you're pretty pissed

about me takin' off
in the middle of the night

without sayin' a word.

But sometimes
a letter is best,

'cause when you write it down,
it's kind of forever.

And the forever thing
I wanted to say to you

is that I think you're a
stupid, cheatin', lyin' bitch.

Bad dream?

EKG tech to the infirmary.

EKG tech to the infirmary.

You ever see that movie...

where the girl's head
spun around

and she puked
on everyone?

"The Exorcist"?

"The Exorcist," yeah.

They tied her to a bed,
too.

She was possessed
by a demon.

- They had to take precautions.
- Yeah.

Didn't do 'em any good.

In the end,

she still threw that old
do-goody priest

out the window.

You suffered
a head trauma.

A post-accident psych eval
is Grail policy.

Come on, doc.

Listen to yourself.

We didn't join The Grail
to "follow policy."

We're here to...

to run things,
get our own way,

beat down unbelievers.

Actually, I joined up
to help people.

Those in pain,
especially.

And what're you gonna do?

It's an associative test
that uses

subjective interpretation
and complex algorithms

to examine a person's
emotional functioning

and detect
thought disorders.

Goddamn!

Okay?

Good.

Now let's see what's going on
in that head of yours.

Ohh!

Ohh!

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh.

Good.

Now say, "Golly gee,
it's a scorcher!"

Come on, kid.
Let's go.

My hour isn't up yet.

Yeah, it is.

They didn't fit anyway.

You okay?

You're the one
that looks jacked.

Yeah, well,
some crazy witch

just blew smoke in my face,
so...

Got to get you
outta this place.

Nah, I'm good.

No, you're not "good."
You're just a kid.

A kid making 35 bucks an hour
in a third-world country.

Trust me, bro,

you're the one
with the problem.

Mm. Okay.

Let's go.

Told ya
you had a problem.

Stay here.

Aah!

I think
you broke my nose.

What kind of preacher
are you?

Forget what you saw
in there.

I forgot my pants.

You don't need 'em.

It'll just take a minute.

You don't need pants.

We're going to the airport,
and I don't need pants.

"...and all of
this unspeakable horror

is the work of
one murderous Preacher."

Your linguistic skills
are impressive.

Thank you, sir.

Perhaps a bit more
hyperbole?

Something along the lines
of... "evil incarnate."

Very good, sir.

May I ask you something?

That's what I'm here for,
sir.

What is your impression
of me?

Cunning, resilient,
pitiless.

Yes, yes. Have to be
in this line of work.

Of course.

And...

also attractive,
as well?

Sir?

Despite my long and colorful
history of mutilations,

I remain attractive.

Beautiful, even.

Don't you agree?

No. I do not.

I see.

Not that beauty
is all that important

- in the overall scheme of things.
- No.

I have no doubt efficiency,
honor, and moral clarity

are of greater value.

But beauty is beauty.

And ugly isn't.

Success, sir.

Figured it out.

Yes?

Have you found
the Christ Child?

Uh, no, sir, not him...
but her.

It was all
a diversion.

Bitch made us look one way,
then slithered past.

Classic wig and suit
Trojan horse.

What is
she talking about?

I think
she's hysterical.

Who the hell
are you?

This is the new Hoover.

I call him...

"Hoover Two."

And we're working.

So kindly wrap up
the hysterics

and make your point.

Tulip O'Hare.

She's in Masada.

Blood from an exit wound,
.44 caliber.

I would say...
blood again,

but from stabbin'.

My second foster father's
brain pieces

after being hit
with a softball bat.

Hmm,
not brains or blood.

Maybe like... guts...

sprayed like silly string
across a refrigerator.

Oh.

And a little
brains and blood.

- What?
- Oh, no, nothing.

Let me just...
tabulate my notes.

I failed, didn't I?

There's no such thing
as failing.

Bullshit. How'd I do?

The test results, uh,
indicate that...

you're an "uninhibited deviant
with a personality disorder

prone
to psychopathic outbursts

and a gun fetish."

And unresolved
abandonment issues.

Well, then, uh...

It sounds, um...

about right, I guess.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Some people just...

can't be helped.

♪ The man that drinks
the small beer ♪

♪ Goes to bed quite sober ♪

♪ The man that drinks
the small beer ♪

♪ Goes to bed quite sober ♪

♪ Fades as
the leaves do fade ♪

♪ Fades as
the leaves do fade ♪

♪ Fades as
the leaves do fade ♪

♪ That drop off in October ♪

Ah, Ireland...

- A terrible thing of beauty she is.
- Mm.

With her wet corners
and rushy bottoms.

Yeah.

- I miss her something awful.
- Alas.

Plenty of Irish in Brooklyn,
last I heard.

Plenty of Irish
in Brooklyn...

Hey, in there.

Uh, d...

What?

Yeah, buddy,

I don't understand
what yer saying.

Just put your mouth
to the hole.

Hmm.

What?

Dude, just put your mouth
to the hole.

Uh...

Whoa!
Slow down there, big guy.

I said put your mouth
to the hole.

Whatever happened
to foreplay?

Freeze!

Hands up, perverts!

Sex detectives!

Face on the floor,
freak!

♪ You only want me ♪

♪ When you're lonely ♪

♪ You only want me then ♪

♪ You only need me ♪

What the hell am
I supposed to do with that?

Back to the orphanage.

- ♪ You only want me, when you're crying ♪
- Both orders up.

♪ You only want me then ♪

♪ You only miss me ♪

♪ When you're blue, dear ♪

♪ It's then
and then only then ♪

♪ But someday ♪

Think you could
move over a little?

Tryin' to drive here.

Thanks, pal.
That's...

This is
the final boarding call

for Athens, flight EZ975.

Flight EZ975.

Sorry, sir.
You're not...

I'm allowed to smoke
in here.

- You're allowed to smoke in here.
- Mm.

Disgusting habit.

Und a waste
of your power.

At the very least,

you could've made her
refill the cashews.

Allow me
to introduce myself.

- I am...
- I know who you are.

Not many mustaches
like that around anymore.

Ja, I noticed this.

It will be fashionable again,
I'm sure.

What do you want?

I'm in town for a conference,
and I heard you were here,

so I thought it would be nice
to stop und say hello.

Und to tell you that
there is nothing

I would like more,
Preacher Custer,

than for you
to join me in Hell.

Satan is dead.

I am in charge now.

Pretty cool, ja?

Yeah.

Your parents must be
real proud of you.

Oh, they are.

When I'm not having them

flayed alive
with knotted whips.

I can't wait for you
to hear my plans,

see all the changes
I am making.

I ain't going to Hell.

After what you have done?

- Oh, you are coming, sooner or later.
- Yeah.

Well,
we'll see about that.

After you talk to God?

You are not
going to talk to God

because you're not
going to get to God.

He will never let you
get to him.

"Let me"?

Do you know what I can do?
What I have?

I know you have
a great power.

Get on your knees.

Not only a "great" power.

I have the greatest power
in the universe.

Put your hands
around your throat and squeeze.

Harder.

Harder.

Stop.

"Let me"?

No one "lets" me do shit.

I'm going to talk to Him.

Preacher?

I will see you later, ja?

Of course.

Where is she?

I released her.

She's a goddamn lunatic.

There's no cure for that.

Idiot. Okay.

So, where's the vampire?

Cass?

I know.

I miss him already.

Where'd he go?

Bensonhurst.

Lucky bastard.

Tell it to God.

It's His plan.

All this
unspeakable horror

is the work
of one murderous man.

Now there's a worldwide manhunt

for a man called
Preacher... Custer...

who people here believe
is evil incarnate.

This is Captain Steve

from the cockpit.

We've hit some...

I'm not sure what this is.

Please take your seats,
fasten your seatbelts,

and pray.

Didn't even
say goodbye.

Oh, shit.