Perfect Strangers (1986–1993): Season 5, Episode 9 - Hello Ball - full transcript
Jennifer's dad comes for a visit and when Larry learns he plans to play golf, Larry offers to come along. Jennifer was hoping Larry was lying to impress her father but in reality actually does play golf. So she asks him to throw the game because her father's a sore loser and he obliges. He brings Balki as his partner hoping that he can't play golf thus making it easier for him to throw the game but as usual he adapts the game to something from his homeland and it turns out to work well.
[theme music]
♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪
♪ Sometimes you just
get a feeling ♪
♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪
♪ No matter what the odds
are this time ♪
♪ Nothing’s gonna
stand in my way ♪
♪ This flame in my heart ♪
♪ Like a long lost friend ♪
♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪
♪ Standing tall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
♪ Rise and fall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
♪ The rain and thunder ♪
♪ The wind and haze ♪
♪ I’m bound for better days ♪
♪ It’s my life ♪
♪ And my dream ♪
♪ Nothing’s going
to stop me now ♪
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
I can’t believe
this is happening.
Jennifer’s father
comes to town...
...it’s my big chance
to impress him
and I slam the taxi
door on his hand.
Well, cousin,
look on the bright side.
Maybe the pain in his hand
will make him forget
you set his
necktie on fire.
I was just trying to light
his after‐dinner cigar.
A‐and I put the fire out.
Well, that’s true.
Throwing that glass
of red wine on him
was real quick thinking.
I knew I should have
ordered white wine.
Jennifer and her father
are on their way up.
I think his hand’s okay.
But he tripped over
your bike on the stairs.
Why are we
stopping here?
Can’t we just
go upstairs?
Mr. Lyons,
I‐I am so sorry.
I am just
so, so sorry.
[stammering]
Uh, uh, put your
hand in this ice.
‐Ah!
‐I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
I‐I‐I just wish there
was something I could do.
Larry. Larry, relax.
Accidents do happen.
Just usually not
with this frequency.
Uh, hey, everyone.
I think it might
be time for dessert.
It’s an old family recipe.
Stuki mookie ping pong.
Stewed prunes
with lucky charms.
Can I tempt you?
No, thanks.
I’m cutting down.
Can we go now?
I just wanna get up
in the morning
and play a little golf.
Golf?
You play golf?
Well, that’s great!
I play golf too.
You play golf?
Yeah, I’m a terrific golfer.
Why don’t we put
together a foursome?
Larry, you play golf?
Fine. We’ll play
Saturday morning.
Now, can we go?
It’s been a very
strenuous evening.
‐Bye.
‐Goodnight.
Thanks for
the stuki mookie ping pong.
Gee, Larry, I didn’t
know you played golf.
[instrumental music]
Balki...look at this.
‐What do you think?
‐I love it.
Absolutely love it.
What is it?
It’s called
the Swing Doctor.
See, the ball is
attached to a computer
that analyzes
your golf swing
and tells you
exactly how far
and in what direction
you hit the ball.
Hold the phone book.
Are you still trying
to convince me you can golf?
[sighs]
Balki, I can play golf.
‐Here. Come on. Watch this.
‐Oh, ho, ho, ho.
(Swing Doctor)
’Two hundred and forty yards’
’straight down the fairway.’
(Swing Doctor)
Excellent shot.
It talks.
And it says that
you’re a good golfer.
Well, don’t that turn
my brown eyes blue.
Cousin, I owe
you an apology.
‐I’m sorry.
‐That’s okay, Balki.
Cousin, can I play
with the doctor of swing?
Uh, sure, be my guest.
Boy, this is lighter
than what we use on Mypos.
You have golf on Mypos?
Well, we have
bang bong poki noki waki yahoo.
"Bang bong poki
noki waki yahoo?"
Yeah, it’s played with
fence posts and jagged rocks.
Cousin.
[clears throat]
Bang bong poki noki waka waka‐‐
Alright, h‐h‐hold it,
hold it, hold it.
What are you doing?
I’m winding up my waka waka.
Balki.
This isn’t bang bong
poki noki waki yahoo.
This is golf.
If you’re gonna play golf
you might as well
do it right.
Here. Now.
Golf is played
with a very loose
relaxed and graceful swing.
Alright?
Now, grasp the club
lightly like this.
Okay?
Take an easy stance.
Stay loose on your feet.
Alright.
Lock your elbows.
Lock your wrists.
Lock your knees.
Lock your neck.
Okay, go ahead,
take a swing.
(Swing Doctor)
Nine yards to the left.
(Swing Doctor)
You could throw it further.
If you haven’t got
anything nice to say
don’t say anything at all.
Besides, I’m going
to do better on Saturday.
Saturday?
That’s when we go golfing
with Jennifer and her papa.
Uh, I, I‐I’m sorry.
I‐I‐I wasn’t planning on
asking you to play with us.
Why not?
What I need is
a partner who can...golf.
Oh. Well, okay.
I understand.
But if you ever
need someone to play
bang bong poki noki waki yahoo,
you will call me?
You’ll be the first.
Just remember, you need
28 players on each team.
[knocking on door]
Oh, Jennifer.
Come on in.
Hi, um, Larry, I
wanted to talk to you
about the golf game on Saturday.
I know. You think I lied
about being able to play golf.
I happen to be
an excellent golfer.
You mean, you didn’t
lie about this?
No.
I was counting on you
lying about this.
But this is the one time
I don’t have to lie.
I’m good.
Why is this so hard
for everyone to accept?
Larry, my father
is a very bad golfer
and a very bad loser.
Now, if you beat him at golf
well, it’ll be...even
worse than last night if...
...if that’s possible.
Oh, well, then it’s simple.
I won’t beat him.
Thank you, Larry.
But I really am good.
Well, now all we need
is a really terrible golfer
to play with us.
Do you know anyone?
‐Hi, Jennifer.
‐Hi.
I think I can
come up with someone.
[instrumental music]
Wow!
This is some pasture.
I wonder how they get the sheep
to eat the grass so evenly.
Larry, why don’t
you tee off first?
Sure.
Don’t make it too obvious.
Don’t worry, I can make
a golf ball do anything.
I guess I got
under it again.
Thought I solved
that problem.
Apparently not.
That’s one stroke.
Boy, you are good.
That’s one of the worst
shots I ever saw.
Thank you.
[clears throat]
Rotten tee!
It’s much too low for me.
But excellent form,
sir. Really nice.
Balki, you’re up.
Waka waka waka
waka waka yahoo!
What the hell was that?
Offhand, I’d
say 260 yards
straight down
the middle of the fairway.
It’s been nice
dating you, Larry.
Quite a shot, Balki.
Thank you very much.
Just what is your handicap?
Mostly the accent.
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
Balki...
...in the apartment
you were terrible.
Out here you’re hitting
the ball a mile. What happened?
Well, cousin, you know
after the other day
when I struck out
with the Swing Doctor
I took some private time
and I came to a concussion.
I really stink
at American golf.
Now, on the other hand
I’m not one
to blow my own nose
but...I’m pretty terrific
at bang bong poki
noki waki yahoo.
So I decided to just
do what comes naturally
even if, as you say,
it makes me look like
I’ve been struck
by lightning.
Balki...
...you’re beating Mr. Lyons.
Well, it would
be hard not to.
‐Mr. Lyons is our guest.
‐I know that.
It is against the rules...
to beat the guest.
‐Oh, why you didn’t tell me?
‐Well, I assumed you knew.
[imitating Larry]
No, I didn’t know.
Well, you know, I personally
would never say this.
But there are those
who would call
what you’re doing...
...cheating.
Cousin, I, I, I have
never cheated in my life.
‐I know.
‐Ever.
‐I know.
‐Ever.
I know, Balki,
that’s why I just wanted
to point it out to you.
Cousin, I don’t want
to cheat Mr. Lyons.
I don’t want
to cheat anybody.
Alright, what
you have to do
is just continue
to hit the ball
as far and as
hard as you can...
...but don’t get it
anywhere near the hole...
...until you’ve hit it
10 or 11 times.
‐Like Mr. Lyons is doing?
‐Yes. Yes.
Exactly like
Mr. Lyons is doing.
And then everything
will be okay?
Then everyone
will be happy.
Thank you for
the tip, cousin.
I will do my best
to do my worst.
[instrumental music]
Waka waka waka
waka waka waka yahoo.
Seven.
Waka waka waka
waka waka waka.
Yahoo.
Eight.
(Larry)
Don’t overdo it.
Waka waka waka
waka waka waka.
Ya‐hoo.
Oops.
What’s the score
now, Larry?
Well...let’s see.
You and your dad are
just one stroke behind.
Uh, gee, Mr. Lyons,
looks like Balki and I
just fell apart
on the back nine.
Well, don’t be too hard
on yourself, Larry.
Better players
than you have choked
when I put the pressure on.
Great shot, dad!
Yes, great shot, Mr. Lyons.
I could play better
when I was six.
Guys, thanks for
doing this for me.
Oh, don’t mention it.
Don’t worry, I won’t.
If dad knew that you
cheated and lost on purpose
he’d be very upset.
Thanks.
Well, hey, my shot. Ahem.
Cousin, may I have
a private word with you?
Not now, Balki.
I have a putt to miss.
Cousin, you told me
I was cheating by winning.
Instead, I’ve been
cheating by losing.
You made me
a cheating loser.
Which, when you think
about it, is really stupid.
But it’s for a good cause.
After I miss this next putt
Mr. Lyons will love me.
Now, let me play.
Well, he won’t be
loving the real you.
The Larry Appleton who
loves raindrops on roses
and whiskers on kittens.
Think about it, cousin.
Someday you may
marry Jennifer.
What are you going to do?
Play bad golf
the rest of your life?
I could live with that.
Well, it’s not going
to stop with golf.
So, I lose a few
hands of bridge
throw a game of checkers
take a dive at Pictionary.
Big deal.
Come on, Larry, it’s all
riding on this last putt.
If you miss it, I win.
Cousin.
This, this reminds
me of something
that once
happened on Mypos.
Every Friday, Devo the Butcher
used to give free soup bones
to all the widows
in the village.
So, every Friday
Uncle Thriftos
used to dress up as a widow
to get free soup bones.
Everything was fine
until the butcher
fell in love with him
and asked him
to go out dancing.
Well, after one date
Uncle Thriftos decided
he had to give up soup
change his name and move
to another village.
Is there a point to this?
Well, of course there is,
don’t be ridiculous.
Cousin, you can pretend
to be someone else
and get free soup bones.
But sooner or later
you have to dance
with the butcher.
Go ahead, Larry.
Way to go, cousin!
I’m proud of you.
Larry, you won.
I just don’t
know you anymore.
[instrumental music]
[knocking on door]
Come in.
Balki, um, is Larry home?
No, but I expect him any minute.
I, uh...
...I want to apologize.
Oh‐h‐h.
I accept.
Balki, he wants
to apologize to Larry.
Oh.
Dad and I
had a long talk
about his temper
on the golf course.
And I admitted that
I asked Larry to lose
so dad wouldn’t
get angry.
I really feel
awful about this.
I mean, I hope Larry
will forgive me.
Jennifer, Mr. Lyons.
Larry, I have
something to say to you.
Well, I have something
I wanna say to you.
There’s something that’s
been really bugging me
and I have to get
it off my chest.
No, you don’t, cousin.
Yes, I have to say this.
Well, you know,
I don’t think you‐‐
Balki. Balki‐‐
‐Listen to him, Larry. Really‐‐
‐We should just sit down and‐‐
Balki, please.
Please! Please!
Just let me do this!
Mr. Lyons, I‐I was
gonna let you win at golf
because I...like
your daughter.
Super. Anyone for coffee?
Balki.
Please.
I could have beaten
the socks off you
but I‐I wanted you to like me.
And now I realize that
what you think of me
shouldn’t be
so important.
What is important is
what Jennifer thinks of me
and what I think of me.
Frankly, sir,
I think you’re
a pompous old duffer
who couldn’t putt his
way out of a paper bag.
Are you finished now?
Yeah, I think that
about covers it.
Now what did
you wanna say?
I wanted
to apologize to you.
You couldn’t
try to stop me?
Cousin, wild turkeys
couldn’t stop you.
Larry, I deserved all that.
Somewhere along the line
I seem to have
lost sight
of the fact that golf
is supposed to be fun.
I’m sorry I acted like
a pompous old duffer.
Well...
...golf does strange
things to people.
It certainly does to me.
Look, next time...
...let’s play for real.
Alright, I’d like that.
It was nice meeting you, Balki.
You really know your way
around a golf course.
Well, thank you very much
but it’s really
not that difficult.
All the holes are numbered.
I’ll have to look
for that next time.
[laughing]
Well, goodbye, everybody.
See you upstairs, Jen.
Goodbye, sir.
Oh, I’m proud of you, Larry.
It was wonderful the way
you stood up to my father.
I could call your mother
and give her a piece of my mind.
That’s okay, Larry.
Well, I’ll, um...
see you tomorrow.
‐Bye‐bye.
‐Bye, Balki.
Bye.
Cousin, you did
the right thing.
Well, thanks, Balki.
I finally realized that...
...honesty is the best policy.
Well, then maybe
a little bit of me
is rubbing off on you.
You know,
this...truth stuff
works like gangbusters.
I mean, women
really go for it.
[theme music]
[theme music]
[music continues]
♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪
♪ Sometimes you just
get a feeling ♪
♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪
♪ No matter what the odds
are this time ♪
♪ Nothing’s gonna
stand in my way ♪
♪ This flame in my heart ♪
♪ Like a long lost friend ♪
♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪
♪ Standing tall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
♪ Rise and fall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dream ♪
♪ The rain and thunder ♪
♪ The wind and haze ♪
♪ I’m bound for better days ♪
♪ It’s my life ♪
♪ And my dream ♪
♪ Nothing’s going
to stop me now ♪
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
I can’t believe
this is happening.
Jennifer’s father
comes to town...
...it’s my big chance
to impress him
and I slam the taxi
door on his hand.
Well, cousin,
look on the bright side.
Maybe the pain in his hand
will make him forget
you set his
necktie on fire.
I was just trying to light
his after‐dinner cigar.
A‐and I put the fire out.
Well, that’s true.
Throwing that glass
of red wine on him
was real quick thinking.
I knew I should have
ordered white wine.
Jennifer and her father
are on their way up.
I think his hand’s okay.
But he tripped over
your bike on the stairs.
Why are we
stopping here?
Can’t we just
go upstairs?
Mr. Lyons,
I‐I am so sorry.
I am just
so, so sorry.
[stammering]
Uh, uh, put your
hand in this ice.
‐Ah!
‐I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
I‐I‐I just wish there
was something I could do.
Larry. Larry, relax.
Accidents do happen.
Just usually not
with this frequency.
Uh, hey, everyone.
I think it might
be time for dessert.
It’s an old family recipe.
Stuki mookie ping pong.
Stewed prunes
with lucky charms.
Can I tempt you?
No, thanks.
I’m cutting down.
Can we go now?
I just wanna get up
in the morning
and play a little golf.
Golf?
You play golf?
Well, that’s great!
I play golf too.
You play golf?
Yeah, I’m a terrific golfer.
Why don’t we put
together a foursome?
Larry, you play golf?
Fine. We’ll play
Saturday morning.
Now, can we go?
It’s been a very
strenuous evening.
‐Bye.
‐Goodnight.
Thanks for
the stuki mookie ping pong.
Gee, Larry, I didn’t
know you played golf.
[instrumental music]
Balki...look at this.
‐What do you think?
‐I love it.
Absolutely love it.
What is it?
It’s called
the Swing Doctor.
See, the ball is
attached to a computer
that analyzes
your golf swing
and tells you
exactly how far
and in what direction
you hit the ball.
Hold the phone book.
Are you still trying
to convince me you can golf?
[sighs]
Balki, I can play golf.
‐Here. Come on. Watch this.
‐Oh, ho, ho, ho.
(Swing Doctor)
’Two hundred and forty yards’
’straight down the fairway.’
(Swing Doctor)
Excellent shot.
It talks.
And it says that
you’re a good golfer.
Well, don’t that turn
my brown eyes blue.
Cousin, I owe
you an apology.
‐I’m sorry.
‐That’s okay, Balki.
Cousin, can I play
with the doctor of swing?
Uh, sure, be my guest.
Boy, this is lighter
than what we use on Mypos.
You have golf on Mypos?
Well, we have
bang bong poki noki waki yahoo.
"Bang bong poki
noki waki yahoo?"
Yeah, it’s played with
fence posts and jagged rocks.
Cousin.
[clears throat]
Bang bong poki noki waka waka‐‐
Alright, h‐h‐hold it,
hold it, hold it.
What are you doing?
I’m winding up my waka waka.
Balki.
This isn’t bang bong
poki noki waki yahoo.
This is golf.
If you’re gonna play golf
you might as well
do it right.
Here. Now.
Golf is played
with a very loose
relaxed and graceful swing.
Alright?
Now, grasp the club
lightly like this.
Okay?
Take an easy stance.
Stay loose on your feet.
Alright.
Lock your elbows.
Lock your wrists.
Lock your knees.
Lock your neck.
Okay, go ahead,
take a swing.
(Swing Doctor)
Nine yards to the left.
(Swing Doctor)
You could throw it further.
If you haven’t got
anything nice to say
don’t say anything at all.
Besides, I’m going
to do better on Saturday.
Saturday?
That’s when we go golfing
with Jennifer and her papa.
Uh, I, I‐I’m sorry.
I‐I‐I wasn’t planning on
asking you to play with us.
Why not?
What I need is
a partner who can...golf.
Oh. Well, okay.
I understand.
But if you ever
need someone to play
bang bong poki noki waki yahoo,
you will call me?
You’ll be the first.
Just remember, you need
28 players on each team.
[knocking on door]
Oh, Jennifer.
Come on in.
Hi, um, Larry, I
wanted to talk to you
about the golf game on Saturday.
I know. You think I lied
about being able to play golf.
I happen to be
an excellent golfer.
You mean, you didn’t
lie about this?
No.
I was counting on you
lying about this.
But this is the one time
I don’t have to lie.
I’m good.
Why is this so hard
for everyone to accept?
Larry, my father
is a very bad golfer
and a very bad loser.
Now, if you beat him at golf
well, it’ll be...even
worse than last night if...
...if that’s possible.
Oh, well, then it’s simple.
I won’t beat him.
Thank you, Larry.
But I really am good.
Well, now all we need
is a really terrible golfer
to play with us.
Do you know anyone?
‐Hi, Jennifer.
‐Hi.
I think I can
come up with someone.
[instrumental music]
Wow!
This is some pasture.
I wonder how they get the sheep
to eat the grass so evenly.
Larry, why don’t
you tee off first?
Sure.
Don’t make it too obvious.
Don’t worry, I can make
a golf ball do anything.
I guess I got
under it again.
Thought I solved
that problem.
Apparently not.
That’s one stroke.
Boy, you are good.
That’s one of the worst
shots I ever saw.
Thank you.
[clears throat]
Rotten tee!
It’s much too low for me.
But excellent form,
sir. Really nice.
Balki, you’re up.
Waka waka waka
waka waka yahoo!
What the hell was that?
Offhand, I’d
say 260 yards
straight down
the middle of the fairway.
It’s been nice
dating you, Larry.
Quite a shot, Balki.
Thank you very much.
Just what is your handicap?
Mostly the accent.
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
Balki...
...in the apartment
you were terrible.
Out here you’re hitting
the ball a mile. What happened?
Well, cousin, you know
after the other day
when I struck out
with the Swing Doctor
I took some private time
and I came to a concussion.
I really stink
at American golf.
Now, on the other hand
I’m not one
to blow my own nose
but...I’m pretty terrific
at bang bong poki
noki waki yahoo.
So I decided to just
do what comes naturally
even if, as you say,
it makes me look like
I’ve been struck
by lightning.
Balki...
...you’re beating Mr. Lyons.
Well, it would
be hard not to.
‐Mr. Lyons is our guest.
‐I know that.
It is against the rules...
to beat the guest.
‐Oh, why you didn’t tell me?
‐Well, I assumed you knew.
[imitating Larry]
No, I didn’t know.
Well, you know, I personally
would never say this.
But there are those
who would call
what you’re doing...
...cheating.
Cousin, I, I, I have
never cheated in my life.
‐I know.
‐Ever.
‐I know.
‐Ever.
I know, Balki,
that’s why I just wanted
to point it out to you.
Cousin, I don’t want
to cheat Mr. Lyons.
I don’t want
to cheat anybody.
Alright, what
you have to do
is just continue
to hit the ball
as far and as
hard as you can...
...but don’t get it
anywhere near the hole...
...until you’ve hit it
10 or 11 times.
‐Like Mr. Lyons is doing?
‐Yes. Yes.
Exactly like
Mr. Lyons is doing.
And then everything
will be okay?
Then everyone
will be happy.
Thank you for
the tip, cousin.
I will do my best
to do my worst.
[instrumental music]
Waka waka waka
waka waka waka yahoo.
Seven.
Waka waka waka
waka waka waka.
Yahoo.
Eight.
(Larry)
Don’t overdo it.
Waka waka waka
waka waka waka.
Ya‐hoo.
Oops.
What’s the score
now, Larry?
Well...let’s see.
You and your dad are
just one stroke behind.
Uh, gee, Mr. Lyons,
looks like Balki and I
just fell apart
on the back nine.
Well, don’t be too hard
on yourself, Larry.
Better players
than you have choked
when I put the pressure on.
Great shot, dad!
Yes, great shot, Mr. Lyons.
I could play better
when I was six.
Guys, thanks for
doing this for me.
Oh, don’t mention it.
Don’t worry, I won’t.
If dad knew that you
cheated and lost on purpose
he’d be very upset.
Thanks.
Well, hey, my shot. Ahem.
Cousin, may I have
a private word with you?
Not now, Balki.
I have a putt to miss.
Cousin, you told me
I was cheating by winning.
Instead, I’ve been
cheating by losing.
You made me
a cheating loser.
Which, when you think
about it, is really stupid.
But it’s for a good cause.
After I miss this next putt
Mr. Lyons will love me.
Now, let me play.
Well, he won’t be
loving the real you.
The Larry Appleton who
loves raindrops on roses
and whiskers on kittens.
Think about it, cousin.
Someday you may
marry Jennifer.
What are you going to do?
Play bad golf
the rest of your life?
I could live with that.
Well, it’s not going
to stop with golf.
So, I lose a few
hands of bridge
throw a game of checkers
take a dive at Pictionary.
Big deal.
Come on, Larry, it’s all
riding on this last putt.
If you miss it, I win.
Cousin.
This, this reminds
me of something
that once
happened on Mypos.
Every Friday, Devo the Butcher
used to give free soup bones
to all the widows
in the village.
So, every Friday
Uncle Thriftos
used to dress up as a widow
to get free soup bones.
Everything was fine
until the butcher
fell in love with him
and asked him
to go out dancing.
Well, after one date
Uncle Thriftos decided
he had to give up soup
change his name and move
to another village.
Is there a point to this?
Well, of course there is,
don’t be ridiculous.
Cousin, you can pretend
to be someone else
and get free soup bones.
But sooner or later
you have to dance
with the butcher.
Go ahead, Larry.
Way to go, cousin!
I’m proud of you.
Larry, you won.
I just don’t
know you anymore.
[instrumental music]
[knocking on door]
Come in.
Balki, um, is Larry home?
No, but I expect him any minute.
I, uh...
...I want to apologize.
Oh‐h‐h.
I accept.
Balki, he wants
to apologize to Larry.
Oh.
Dad and I
had a long talk
about his temper
on the golf course.
And I admitted that
I asked Larry to lose
so dad wouldn’t
get angry.
I really feel
awful about this.
I mean, I hope Larry
will forgive me.
Jennifer, Mr. Lyons.
Larry, I have
something to say to you.
Well, I have something
I wanna say to you.
There’s something that’s
been really bugging me
and I have to get
it off my chest.
No, you don’t, cousin.
Yes, I have to say this.
Well, you know,
I don’t think you‐‐
Balki. Balki‐‐
‐Listen to him, Larry. Really‐‐
‐We should just sit down and‐‐
Balki, please.
Please! Please!
Just let me do this!
Mr. Lyons, I‐I was
gonna let you win at golf
because I...like
your daughter.
Super. Anyone for coffee?
Balki.
Please.
I could have beaten
the socks off you
but I‐I wanted you to like me.
And now I realize that
what you think of me
shouldn’t be
so important.
What is important is
what Jennifer thinks of me
and what I think of me.
Frankly, sir,
I think you’re
a pompous old duffer
who couldn’t putt his
way out of a paper bag.
Are you finished now?
Yeah, I think that
about covers it.
Now what did
you wanna say?
I wanted
to apologize to you.
You couldn’t
try to stop me?
Cousin, wild turkeys
couldn’t stop you.
Larry, I deserved all that.
Somewhere along the line
I seem to have
lost sight
of the fact that golf
is supposed to be fun.
I’m sorry I acted like
a pompous old duffer.
Well...
...golf does strange
things to people.
It certainly does to me.
Look, next time...
...let’s play for real.
Alright, I’d like that.
It was nice meeting you, Balki.
You really know your way
around a golf course.
Well, thank you very much
but it’s really
not that difficult.
All the holes are numbered.
I’ll have to look
for that next time.
[laughing]
Well, goodbye, everybody.
See you upstairs, Jen.
Goodbye, sir.
Oh, I’m proud of you, Larry.
It was wonderful the way
you stood up to my father.
I could call your mother
and give her a piece of my mind.
That’s okay, Larry.
Well, I’ll, um...
see you tomorrow.
‐Bye‐bye.
‐Bye, Balki.
Bye.
Cousin, you did
the right thing.
Well, thanks, Balki.
I finally realized that...
...honesty is the best policy.
Well, then maybe
a little bit of me
is rubbing off on you.
You know,
this...truth stuff
works like gangbusters.
I mean, women
really go for it.
[theme music]
[theme music]
[music continues]