Penn & Teller: Fool Us (2011–…): Season 9, Episode 2 - Sleight of Foot - full transcript

- From the Penn & Teller Theater

at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas,

here's our host,
Alyson Hannigan.

- Welcome to "Fool Us."

As a rule, magicians
never reveal their secrets.

That's called the
magician's code.

But on this show, Penn
and Teller reveal secrets

to magicians in code

in an attempt to
figure out their tricks.

So please welcome
our rule breakers

and code makers,



Penn and Teller.

Penn and Teller give
away a "Fool Us" trophy

and a pinky promise to
have anyone who fools them

perform in their long-running
Las Vegas magic show.

And here comes one now.

- Hi, my name is
Theron Christensen,

and I'm a prosecuting
attorney from Ames, Iowa.

So when I was a
kid, being religious,

my parents didn't
allow playing cards

in our home.

And that challenge turned out

to be a blessing in disguise

because now I feel
like my magic stands out

from the typical magic
you might see today.



I've been a prosecutor
now for two years.

And it might
surprise you to know

that there is a lot in common
between magic and law.

Both magic and law work
best if you are able to win over

your audience and get
them to see things your way.

On the other hand,
a magician succeeds

by breaking the rules,
and a lawyer succeeds

by following the rules.

Tonight, I'm doing a magic trick

that's over 100 years old,

but I had to recreate it using
modern methods and techniques.

Penn and Teller, tonight
you are my judge and jury.

- Magic court is now in session,

and Penn Jillette
is on the stand,

so get ready to witness
Theron Christenson.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

there has been
a terrible murder.

In my day job as a
prosecuting attorney,

I spend a lot of
time in the courtroom

cross-examining eye witnesses.

And one of the biggest
challenges I face

is that eye witnesses
are notoriously unreliable.

Eye witnesses can
be both dead certain

and dead wrong.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Penn.
- Yes.

- Let's imagine a crime
has been committed

and you are the
eye witness testifying

in the court room,
matching wits against me,

the prosecutor.
- Okay.

- Now, this means you're
gonna have to pay attention

to small details,

rely on your memory,

and tell the truth,
the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth.
- Absolutely.

- Excellent.
- Give you my word.

- Inside this box is the
only piece of evidence

that was found at
the scene of the crime.

A gentleman's
white handkerchief.

Penn, please take
this handkerchief,

and using this magnifying glass,

examine it thoroughly.

Memorize every detail.

- Yes, sir.

- Just know if you
blow your nose in it,

you might become
our prime suspect.

Do you have the
handkerchief memorized?

- Uh, well, yeah.
It's rather repetitious.

It's just kind of all
white handkerchief.

- If you're satisfied,
that's good enough, sir.

- Well, yeah, I'm satisfied.

- Wonderful.

Because now we're going to test

your eye witness memory...

- Okay.

- By hiding the evidence away

inside of the box.

Penn,

please describe for the jury

to the smallest detail
what is the evidence

in this box... and remember,
you are under oath.

- It is a white
handkerchief about so big.

It's been folded
into squares that big,

which I think makes
it fold into 12 sections.

The folds were
all very clear on it.

And it was, as
far as I could tell,

all one color, white,

and all one weave.

And it's seamed
around the outside

of the whole thing.

- Excellent. Very
detailed description.

But I think you might
have missed something.

Do you remember anything
else about the handkerchief?

- I don't.

- Well, this is
just a small detail.

But I thought maybe
you would remember...

This bloody handprint.

- Oh, my goodness gracious.

My goodness gracious.

- Penn, your credibility
as an eye witness

just took a big hit.
- It did.

- But I did only give
you a few seconds

to examine this evidence
before we put it in the box.

- Mm-hmm.

- Ladies and
gentlemen of the jury,

maybe it was just inevitable

that a small detail like
this bloody handprint

would slip through the cracks.

Besides, I believe
in second chances,

so, Penn, let's try this again.

- Okay.

- Once more, we'll hide
the evidence in the box,

so all you have to rely on

is your memory.

Please describe to
the smallest detail

what is the evidence in the box?

- Well, it was the handkerchief

just like I
remembered it before,

except there was a rather
small, for an adult male,

I guess, or maybe a small female

or child's handprint in red.

I didn't know if it was
blood, it was tested.

But it was in red, and
it was this whole part

and then the way it was
being held in front of me,

it was in the lower
right hand corner.

- Well done. Well done, indeed.

You did remember the
handprint in quite some detail.

Um, there might have been
just one other small detail.

Do you remember anything
else about the handkerchief?

- I don't.
- No?

Again, this is
just a small detail.

But I thought maybe
you would recall

that this handkerchief...

has been torn to shreds.

- Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness.

- Penn, do you
remember seeing that

before we put it in the box?

- I don't remember seeing that.

- Penn, you are proving to
be a very unreliable witness.

- I'm very unreliable.

- But don't give up just yet.

Let's try on last time.

For the last time, we'll
hide the evidence in the box.

Penn, you know the drill.

For heaven sakes, try
to get it right this time.

Please describe, what is
the evidence in this box?

- It was a white handkerchief
folded into 12 sections

with a smallish red handprint

on what you were
holding as the lower right,

and it had, I
believe, four slits

of being ripped
there, four or five.

- Well, Mr. Jillette...
- Yeah?

- If that is in fact
your real name.

You have done a fine
job proving my point

because everything you
thought you saw was wrong.

This is the only piece of
evidence that was found

at the scene of the crime.

And as you can plainly see...

there's no handprint.

No cuts or tears.

Just a gentlemen's
white handkerchief.

But what bothers me
most about this, Penn

is that I gave you
every opportunity

to examine this evidence.
- You did.

- I even let you use
a magnifying glass

so that you could
spot all the clues.

Yet somehow you
completely missed...

the murder weapon.

- Whoa!

- Thank you.

- Theron Christenson.

Oh, all right.

Well, you must be
a great prosecutor

because you're a great magician.

Do you ever think you'll have
to give up one for the other?

- Um, that's a good question.

I think that pursuing
a career in the law

has definitely made me
have to cut back on magic,

but I have a passion for magic.

I doubt that'll ever
go away entirely.

- Are there any other
magicians in your family?

- No, I'm in the only one.

In fact, you know, growing up,

I think my siblings
were probably

my most skeptical audience.

They didn't really appreciate
magic the same way I did.

- Maybe your children?

- Yes, yes. They think I'm
really magic at this point.

- Aw, of course.

- When I pull coins
out of their ears

or change the color

of the candy they're holding,

or whatever it is,

they really like it.

- All right, Theron.

The jury is in. Let's
hear the verdict.

- Hey, Theron. So you
really are a prosecutor, huh?

- I am, yes.
- Oh, my goodness gracious.

That's why I was so nervous

when I was up there.

Well, it's good that
you have a hobby.

It's really nice that
you have a hobby.

You know, you're a
professional magician,

and then in your spare
time, you're a prosecutor.

That's really true.
Some people play jazz.

Some people do macramé,

but you have found
this wonderful hobby

of being a prosecutor.
I really appreciate that.

But enough about this.

Let's get to the case.

You had me up there for
the wrong reason, you see.

'Cause I wasn't actually
an eye witness to this crime.

I was actually a expert witness,

and I had a lot of information.

I had someone
working undercover.

And also the crime
was not a murder.

The crime was actually stealing,

a drop off, and there
was a flasher involved.

So it was a much different crime

than you represented.

But I want to say one thing,
and this is nothing to do

with this case, but I
think it's interesting.

You might find interesting
as someone's who's involved

in criminal law.

Teller, Teller has this aunt.

You know your aunt?

Yeah, Teller's aunt

is not only a kleptomaniac,

she's also a maniac klepto,

which she steals things,

and then she secretly
puts them back.

So I would like to say

that we looked at
all the evidence.

We watched the
case very carefully.

And the jury in unanimous.

We loved your act,

but you did not fool us.

- Well, did Penn's
legal mumble jumble

tell you how the trick was done?

- Though I'd like
to plead the fifth,

I think it's safe to say,

guilty as charged. Thank you.

- Thank you so much,
Theron Christenson.

We've got another
amazing magician

ready to take the
stand after this.

Stay close.

- Welcome back to "Fool Us,"

home of the best
magic in the world.

That includes this next trick.

Check it out.

- I'm a fairly shy person,

and I came to magic
from another world,

the world of dance.

A dancer presents herself
almost like a painting,

as a work to be contemplated.

- Jaana Felicitas.

- But a magician has to
really work the audience

in a different way.

When I was on "Fool Us"

for the first time,

I was terrified
about the cameras

and the lights and the idea
of a TV audience of millions.

But I came on stage,
and I performed something

that was very much
a kind of dance,

and people loved it.

- So good.

- It gave me so much confidence

to be embraced like that.

I'm much more
comfortable coming back.

And this routine's a
piece for the dreamers

like I was.

I'm back here performing

for an audience of millions.

I'm living proof sometimes
dreams can come true.

- Put your hands together
for the beautiful illusions

of Jaana Felicitas.

- Jaana Felicitas.

Welcome back.

- Thanks for having me.

- So how did you come up
with the idea for this trick?

- Well, I was
working as a waitress

for a very long time

to support my career in dancing.

And, you know, when
you're alone behind a bar,

you're kind of the last
person in the room,

and suddenly you feel
like you're in another world.

- Ah, so a lot of your magic
combines movement and dance?

- True, yes, and you
can never really give it up.

You know, it's such a
big part of your heart.

I... whenever I start something,

even if I think, okay, this is
not so much about dance,

at some point I
start moving again

'cause I... you
know, I can't help it.

- Yeah. It's inside you.

- Yeah.
- Definitely.

Okay, Jaana, I could
tell by the boy's faces

that they loved your magic.

Let's see if you fooled them.

- Okay.

- Boy, Jaana,
what a great routine

all the way through.
- Thank you.

- All of it's great.

You know,
manipulation acts like this

never have logic to them.

They're just random, pull a
card out, pull a candle out.

And this has an internal
logic all the way through

that's just beautiful, all did
with ice and water and drinks,

and just giving it a
plot and giving it an idea

just takes it up a
whole other level

besides how just
beautifully you move.

And also what you're wearing,
which is not, you know...

All the technology
is set for tuxes

and old-fashioned clothing.

Just wearing modern,
comfortable clothing

is also great.
Nothing at all unusual.

We have a lot of
manipulation acts on here,

and this really tops it.

And it's all thought out,

and how everything's hidden.

There's nothing extra
on the stage at all,

but the table's deceptive,
the bottle's deceptive,

you're deceptive.

Everything all the way
through is just gorgeous.

I mean, this is magic
at its absolute best.

And manipulation, even better.

We loved every second of it,

but we do not
think you fooled us.

And I think I slipped
a thing or two in there,

I hope you picked up.

- Well, there was a
lot of praise in there.

Was there also code that
tells you they figured it out?

- Yes, I think
they figured it out.

But thanks.

- Thank you so much.

- Thank you.
- Jaana Felicitas!

We've still got all kinds
of magicians on deck,

including a finale
by Penn and Teller,

so stick around.

- It's time for another
act to match wits

with two of the
greatest minds in magic.

Let's see who wins. Penn
and Teller, or this guy.

- Ask yourself, what's the
stereotype of a magician?

That's not exactly
an image of diversity.

The magic world is so
much richer than that.

There are so many magicians

that are not white males.

A teacher of mine once said

if you feel you don't have
a venue to perform in,

create it.

So we did.

We got a church basement,

and we got a few potted plants,

some old carpets,
and we made a show.

And it really took off.

This is everyone who
ever performed there.

Every nationality, ethnicity,

and type of magic.

The largest magic venue
in Chicago contacted me

about booking their talent,

so I showed them this poster.

After five minutes,
I have the job.

And now I book all the acts,

and most nights, I
get to perform there,

which is fantastic.

Tonight, I'm bringing a trick

that some magician
friends have called a miracle.

Maybe it can help
me pull off the miracle

of fooling Penn and Teller.

- Welcome back to
the "Fool Us" stage,

Benjamin Barnes.

- Hi, Penn and Teller.

You probably know
better than anyone

that magicians are sneaky.

They like to cheat.

You notice I said "they."

I don't include
myself in that group

because tonight,
I'm going to perform

the world's fairest card trick.

I will perform it in a manner
so unquestionably fair

that you will doubt the
involvement of trickery at all.

For example, this begins...

with a factory-sealed pack.

That seems fair, right?

Of course, when working
with a new pack of cards,

you know that the top two cards

are advertisements,

and the bottom two are jokers.

And if you look
through the pack,

starting at the face,
you will clearly see

that the pack is
in perfect order.

But of course, to perform magic,

the cards need to be shuffled.

But if I do it,

you might suspect me of
using one of those fake shuffles

that looks like the real thing

but isn't.

But of course, if I were
to ask Alyson to shuffle,

now that would be fair.

Don't you agree?

Alyson, would you
please join me on stage?

- Yes.

- Lovely to see you.
- Lovely to see you.

- I'm going to
give you the cards.

- Okay.

- Now I want you to
give them a good shuffle.

- Oh, gosh.

You're asking a lot from me.

- Okay, we're not judging.
- Oh, dear. See?

They're slippery.

- However you're
most comfortable.

- I... I mean,
watching you doing it

is the most comfortable.
- Yeah, sure.

- I've actually practiced,
which is what's so sad.

Oh, my God, it's so bad.
- You're doing good.

Now, Alyson, do you
know the current order

of the cards?
- No.

- Neither do I.

May I?
- Yes, please.

- Okay. I can feel your relief.

Yeah.

Now, Alyson, you're going
to select a playing card

in the fairest way imaginable.

I'm going to take the joker,

and I'm going to run it
along the edge of the pack.

- Okay.
- Say "stop" whenever you like.

- Okay.

Stop.
- Right there?

- Yes.

- Now, Alyson, beneath the joker

is a card.

Your fairly selected card.

I'm going to lift my hand
so that you can see it,

and I can't.
- Okay.

- Now remember
that card, Alyson?

- Yes.
- Okay.

Now at this point, Alyson,

it's only fair that I tell you

that while I don't know
what card you saw,

I do have an
idea of where it is.

I want you to change that
by shuffling the cards again.

- You're asking a lot of me.

Okay, hold on, I'm
gonna do a thing.

- Okay, let's see. Let's see.

- This is my
redemption right here.

Nope, it's not.
- But that's not bad.

That's not bad.
- I mean...

- Now, Alyson, do you
know where your card lies

in the pack now?
- Have no clue.

- Neither do I.

Now, if I were to
touch the cards now,

I could do something sneaky,

but I want to be fair.

So, Alyson, I'm gonna ask you

to put the cards
back in their box.

Very good. I'm gonna ask you
to go ahead and close that box.

Fantastic. Now,
Alyson, I have a pen.

On the end of
the pen is a label.

Just take the label.

I'm gonna ask you
to reseal the box

with that label.
- Okay.

And lastly...
- Eh!

- Good job.
- Thank you.

- Lastly, I'm gonna
give you the pen.

I want you to write
your initials on the label.

- On the label?
- On the label.

- Okay.

I wrote my married
initials. That's fine.

- There you go.
- I messed up.

- No, you're good. You're good.

Now, Alyson, with
your right hand,

I want you to reach
into my jacket pocket

and confirm for Penn and Teller

that it is absolutely empty.

- Totally empty.
- Totally empty, great.

I want you to reach
into the pocket again

and confirm that
aside from the pack,

it is otherwise empty.

- Yep.

- Penn and Teller, I ask you,

what could be
more fair than this?

Nothing.

My hand is empty.

Check this out.

Let's see.

Alyson, take the pack
out of my pocket please.

Is it sealed?
- Yes.

- Do you see
your initials there?

- Yes.
- Break the seal.

- Oops.

- Take the cards out of the box.

- Okay.

- I'll get rid of the box.

Now look through the cards.

Yes or no, have you
seen your card yet?

- No.
- Really?

Okay, keep going.
Have you seen your card?

- No.

- Alyson, for the first time,

name your card.
- The four of hearts.

- And that, Penn and Teller,

is the world's
fairest card trick.

- Wow, Benjamin Barnes.

That's so good.

- I know, your
shuffling was perfect.

- Oh, well...

All right, so we just
caught you in a lie.

Yes, you did.

- So you've been a magician
for a very long time now.

Do you believe in sharing
what you've learned

or keeping it secret?

- I believe absolutely in
sharing what I've learned.

I'm only here tonight
because people share with me.

I feel an obligation
and an honor

to share with those
coming behind me.

- Are you a student
of magic history?

- Oh, yes. I love magic history.

I like going back hundreds
of years with my study.

The trick that I did for
Penn and Teller tonight

uses techniques that are
so old they're new again.

- Wow.

- I've fooled almost
every magician

I've shown that trick to.

We'll see if I
get lucky tonight.

- True.

Okay, Benjamin, let's go
to the world's fairest duo

and see if you fooled them.

- Hey, Benjamin,
boy, what a great,

great presentation of that.

I mean, it is just so fair

and so, so open
and so, so clear.

And you're just, as our mentor,
Johnny Thompson, used to say,

you just close all the
doors as you go through.

And it seems like
such a rough trick,

and you were such
a smooth character

that it's just beautiful
to put it all together.

And we don't
think you fooled us.

And I think I put a
little bit of code in there,

but did we tell you
enough that you know?

- Um...

- Oh, yeah, also we think...

How do I want to
say this sneakily...

That there is something, um,

unusual about your
suit coat pocket.

- You gentlemen...

are not even close.

- You are not close.

- I'll try say it in
more plain language.

There's no rough or smooth?

- No.

And my jacket, I
could give it to you now.

- It's totally legit?
- Everything is totally legit.

- Oh, I'll take your word.
I'm not gonna check it.

But...

really?
- 100%.

- You fooled us.
- Yay!

- You're a Fooler!
- What a great trick.

Great trick.
- A pleasure.

- You gotta teach us.
- Oh, absolutely.

- You've gotta teach us that.

It's really good.

- Oh, life is good. Thank you.

- Benjamin Barnes.

On this day in magic history,

Penn and Teller just gave
away a "Fool Us" trophy.

Will history repeat itself?

Come back and find out.

- Welcome back.

If our next magician
fools Penn and Teller,

they'll be the
second one tonight.

Can the streak continue?
Wish this next magician luck.

- Hey, I'm mentalist
Brian Curry,

and I'm going to Las Vegas
to try to fool Penn and Teller.

Did you get that? All right.

I have the best fake
job on the planet.

People actually pay me
to fly around the world

and pretend to
read people's minds.

But when COVID hit,

I went from doing
over 200 shows a year

to being a stay-at-home dad.

On the bright side, I got
to spend so much time

with my kids.

- So many dad jokes.

- But we made it.

- We made it.

- Now that life is
getting back to normal,

I have a show in D.C.
called "The Good Liar."

Of course, in our
nation's capital,

I'll never be the best liar.

Penn, Teller, I
hope you're ready

'cause I'm coming for you.

Kids, it's time to go.

- Give it up for D.C.'s
most honest conman,

Brian Curry.

- Thank you very much.

I think everyone who
watches this show

knows that you guys
are serious skeptics.

And as a fake mind reader,

I can think of nothing
more gratifying

than trying to turn
you into true believers...

True fake believers.

Penn, would you mind
joining me up on stage?

- I'd be happy to.

- How's it going?
- Doing very well, thank you.

- It's nice to meet you.
- Very nice to meet you.

- Now you're a skeptic.
- I am, yeah.

- Which means you don't believe
in that mind reading garbage.

- No, I don't.

- Horoscopes or fortune cookies

or vaccinations or global...

- No, vaccinations
and fortune cookies,

I believe in both of those.

- Yeah, I know, that joke was
funnier a few years ago though.

Now, the Teller we see on
TV, that's not the same Teller

that you know.
- That's correct.

- You guys have been
together a long time.

Over, what, 40 years?
- 46 years.

Actually 47 by
the time this airs.

- That's incredible.

You're relationship's
coming up on menopause,

so congratulations.

Now, they say after two
years, you start to develop

a psychic bond.
- Right.

- I bet there are times,
Penn, without speaking,

where, Teller, you know exactly
what Penn is thinking, right?

I want to you to take a second
and think of all the words

you would use
to describe Teller.

- Okay.

- Now think of a
TV-friendly word.

- Okay.

- Have you got one word?

- Um... yes.

- I'm gonna have you
write that word down.

Not that I don't trust you...
- I'm not sure I can spell it.

Maybe I should change it.

- You wanna switch
to another one?

- Maybe I should.

Yeah, I think I can spell it.
- You got it.

I have an envelope which
you can't see through.

Even if you could,
inside of that envelope

is a another envelope which
you also can't see through.

Inside of that's a card.

Would you write your word
big and bold, nice and clear?

- I'm gonna write a
word that I can spell.

- Perfect.
- Okay.

- And we're not gonna look.

Now, Teller, if I'm
being totally honest,

I don't know if
this is gonna work.

I'm not a mind reader.

I'm, like, barely a mind user.

Are we good, Penn?

- Yes, we are.
- Okay, I'll take the pen.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

And I will take
the card as well.

- Okay.
- Thank you, sir.

Now, the truth is,
when I'm off stage,

I'm a skeptic.
I'm like you guys.

I'm like an attractive Penn.

Now, if you could...

I'm gonna place this
envelope, goes in here.

If you could face
forward for me?

Hold this up against your body.

And in your mind, mentally count

how many letters
are in the word.

Don't say it out
loud, but in your mind,

count how many
letters are in the word.

- Okay.
- Got it.

Yes or no, the word you wrote
down is a three letter word.

- No.

- No, but...

But it does begin with
three letters, is that correct?

- Well, yes.
- That's a hit.

We're gonna call that a hit.

Now focus on the
first letter of that word.

Pardon me, I'm
gonna come over here.

I'm getting something...

all over my hands, ew.

Is it start with an "S"?

- Yes, it does.
- Ah, this is working.

I can't believe it.

Look, historically, thinking's
always been Teller's thing.

You're doing so great.

Now, I want you to
face forward for me

because behind your head,

I'm going to write
the thought bubble

so that everyone can see exactly

what you think about Teller.

Now, let's be honest.

You and I both know
I'm not a real mind reader.

So if the word that
I just wrote down

happens to match the word
that you were thinking of,

I'm not gonna use
the word miracle,

but I'd be okay if you did.

- Okay.
- What was the word?

- Sneaky.
- Sneaky?

- Sneaky.
- Take a look.

- Goodness gracious.

- Thank you so much.
- Goodness gracious.

Thank you.
- Thank you very much.

- Goodness. Sneaky. Sneaky.

He is and you are. Sneaky.

- Brian Curry.

So why did you decide to
pick Penn for this routine?

- Oh, so there's you on stage,

and everyone... you're like
the world's nicest human.

I would hate someone
for picking on you.

- Aw.
- And then there's Teller.

But it seems
ethically weird to, like,

pick on somebody who
can't defend themself.

- Oh, he can.

You're from D.C. You must
play for some interesting people.

- I do. I perform
for celebrities,

but D.C. celebrities, so
we're not talking movie stars.

We're talking politicians.

So it's slightly
different, but it's still fun.

- So do you ever get
nervous when you perform?

- I'm terrified right now.
- Really?

- I am.
- But you're done performing.

- I am done performing.

But it's still... I'm
excited. I'm here.

I got to perform for
millions of people

in the same room as two
of my favorite magicians.

- Aw.

- I'm talking to a
famous actress.

Like, I may not fool them,

but still feels like a win,

you know?
- Yeah.

Let's see if Penn and Teller
know the method to your magic.

- Hey, there, Brian.
- Hey, how's it going?

- Nice being up there
with you. Real funny guy.

Real good thing. Also,
you do mentalism right.

You know, we get disgusted
by, not just the obvious stuff,

the fact that we're skeptics.

People that claim to
actually read minds

don't interest us in any way.

Not only is it morally wrong,
it's also not interesting.

You want to be funny
while you're doing this.

But also, a lot of mentalists
go to so much trouble

to use high tech stuff,
and they got earpieces,

and they've got little
devices hidden on them,

and they've got all
sorts of hidden cameras

and all sorts of iPhone stuff.

And it just get so, so tedious.

And you did this the
real, old-fashioned way,

with skill.

And you did sleight of hand,

and, you know,
some very clever stuff

on top of all the clever
stuff the people saw.

But you know, you
pointed out very clearly

that Teller and I've been
working together 47 years.

And also, the word that
I chose was "sneaky."

And I have not spent 47
years next to someone sneaky

to be fooled by someone
else who's sneaky,

who's also that close to me.

So if you really had
mind reading powers,

do you think you fooled us?

- I didn't fool you, but
this was so much fun.

Thank you, guys.
- Thank you.

- Thank you so much.

Brian Curry!

Penn and Teller get
top billing on this show.

We make them earn
it by closing each show

with a trick of their own.

You don't wanna miss it.

- Welcome back.

For decades, Penn and
Teller have wowed audiences

the world over.

They could just sit back
and rest on their laurels.

But they continue
to try and figure out

new ways to astound and amaze,

so give it up for
Penn and Teller.

- Oh, thank you.

Thank you, Alyson, for
that nice introduction.

It has been decades.

You know, between us,
we have over a century

of experience in magic.

But one thing the
show has taught us

is when it comes to cards,

we are not the best
at sleight of hand.

You've seen some of
the people we've had on.

They've been astonishing,

really good sleight
of hand artists.

And we're not among them.

But we've been thinking
we would like to be

the best at cards
with something.

So we've been working
really hard recently

to not be the best
at sleight of hand,

but rather, to be the best

at sleight of foot.

And I'm gonna tell you, Alyson,
we are the best in the world

at sleight of foot.

No one can touch
us at sleight of foot.

We haven't see
anybody on this show

in all these seasons
that's doing sleight of foot

with cards as well
as we're gonna do it.

So examine that deck of
cards, would you please, Alyson?

Make sure it's sealed.
- Yeah.

- Right out of the
factory... good.

Now watch this, we're
gonna open the deck.

- Oh, my.
- Watch this.

Open the deck
with just our feet.

A lot of times,
you can tell a lot

about just how they open a deck.

Teller opens the
deck with his feet.

He's jut gonna get a
hold of that cellophane.

We can't do that.
That's just too hard.

Alyson, open the... take the
cellophane off there for us.

- Okay.
- See, we couldn't do that

with our feet, you can't
even do it with your hands.

- Yeah, barely.
- Take the cellophane off.

We don't even need
that. Get it away.

Whoa, disappears. It's gone.

Now we're gonna see the seal.

The seal is sealed
there, isn't it, Alyson?

- Yeah.
- See that that's sealed.

Now we're gonna break
the seal with just our feet.

Watch as we hold this in place,

and Teller's just going to...

with his toes.

We can't do that, Alyson.

Would you break the seal for us?

And then fold the top
flap back all the way.

Fold it back all the way.
- This one, the top?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, and
the two side ones too.

Fold them back all the way.
- Okay.

- Good.
- And this too?

- Side ones too, all
the way, 'cause now

we will take the cards
gracefully out of the pack.

Watch this, Alyson.

Just gonna flip it
over, and boom,

all the cards...

it not only takes special feet,

it takes stomach muscles too.

Just don't worry,
Alyson. I got it.

The cards come out of the box.
- Whoa!

- Beautiful, beautiful.

Boom, it's gone, disappears.
- Amazing.

- Advertising card gone.

This is... joker gone.

Okay, and now
just gather them up

and put them down there
so we can shuffle them.

- Okay.
- Yeah, gather them up.

Make them nice and even.

And then you're gonna
see us shuffle with our feet.

Sleight of foot!

Best in the world, watch
this. Watch this shuffle.

- The sound is
perfect, isn't it, Alyson?

- It's amazing.

- They're already
mixed up out of the box.

And now we're gonna
have you pick a card.

I'll just fan them.

Wow, look at that.
That looks really good.

Doesn't that look good?
That was really good, Alyson.

Now just take any card
you want there, Alyson.

Just pick a card up.

- What if I wanted
to pick that one?

- Pick any card you want.
- All right.

- Sure, take the
card, look at it,

and then show it to the camera.

Okay, memorize.
We're not gonna look.

Show it to the camera.

Okay, Alyson, put it back down.
- Okay.

- Right there, now
we're gonna mix it in

with a table wash, Alyson.

This is a table wash.

This is what they do in
big, fancy poker games.

They do a big table.

When there's dozens
of dollars on the table,

they do a table wash.

We are doing a
table wash of our feet.

Okay, thank you,
Alyson. That's helpful.

We mixed them all up.

You don't know
where your card is.

Is that your card
there, the one faceup?

- No, it's not.

- The four of hearts went
faceup really nice, didn't it?

Okay, that's not... get
it away. Yeah.

Okay, now, Alyson, you haven't
followed your card, have you?

It's mixed up in there.
- No!

- But I have, Alyson.

Watch this sleight
of foot, Alyson!

And is that your card?
Look at it, Alyson.

Is that your card?

- No.
- Damn it. Okay.

Well, we'll get it.
We'll get it, Alyson.

Is, uh... is uh...

is that your card, Alyson?

- I'm scared.

No... - Okay, okay.

Now, Alyson, we're
gonna try something.

We'll get it all mixed up.

Alyson, grab, like,
five or ten cards

in each hand, in each hand.

Just all in a mess.
- Okay.

- I'm gonna count to three,

then throw them high in the air.

We're gonna catch your
selected of card with our feet.

- Okay.
- Why... 'cause you know why?

- Why?
- Sleight of foot!

- Right.
- Who's the best

in the world at sleight of foot?

- You guys are!
- Yes, we are.

One, two, three.

- Whee!

- Boom, we got it, Alyson.

We got it. There
it is right there.

Is that your card, Alyson?
- No.

- Okay, we're
gonna find your card.

Okay, these are faceup.
Okay, now they're gone.

That's gone too, Alyson.
That's gone too, Alyson.

Now, this is the big... I'm
building up to this, Alyson.

And right there...

is that your card, Alyson?

- No.
- Five of diamonds?

Is that your card, the
eight of diamonds?

- No.
- Is that your card?

The six of... okay,
we're gonna find it.

- How many guesses do you have?

- Is that your card, Alyson?

Is that your card, Alyson?

- Which one?
- Is that your card, Alyson?

Is that your card, Alyson?

The king of spades.
- Yes.

- You know why, Alyson?
- Because it's sleight of foot.

- Who's the best?
- You guys are.

- Okay, take that card.
You can keep that.

Applaud.
- Yay.

- Take it with your feet!
- Oh, God.

- With your feet.
- Uh...

well, we're out of time,

and I need to get
some fresh air.

- The best!
- So we'll say goodbye for now,

but join us next
time for another

fantastic episode of "Fool Us."

See you soon.

- Who's the best in the
world at sleight of foot?

- You guys are.
- Okay, thank you.

Best in the world.
- You guys.

- Yes. Why don't you
take the card of his head?