Penn & Teller: Fool Us (2011–…): Season 8, Episode 11 - Stabba Dabba Deck - full transcript

[jazz music]

[♪ ♪]

From the
Penn & Teller Theater

at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas,

here's our host
Alyson Hannigan.

[cheers and applause]

[♪ ♪]

Welcome to "Fool Us."

Tonight, we have
an abundance of baffling,

a plethora of perplexing,
a myriad of magic,

and clearly
a thesaurus backstage.



We also have two
walking encyclopedias of magic,

so let's turn the page
and bring them out right now,

Penn and Teller!

[cheers and applause]

If Penn and Teller
are incorrect about

how a trick is done,

they give up a slot
in their show

and a shiny new
"Fool Us" trophy.

Let's see how they do
against tonight's first act.

My dad is from Iran,
my mom is from Afghanistan,

and they can came here
to live the American dream.

My dad started
an Italian restaurant,

in Texas of all places.

This was the place my mom
and my dad got married in.



One night, my dad
was locking up the doors

so he could come see us,
his family.

As he was walking to his car,
he got met by three masked men.

And they killed my father.

I was one when that happened.

And my family kept it a secret
for me for years.

So it's not surprising
I got into magic

because magic is an art form
about secrets.

But magic also taught me
that when you have a gift

that is in you and you
give it out into the world,

then really you become the
hero in somebody else's story.

And to me, that's real magic.

Whenever I get to share
what I do with the world,

I just imagine
that my dad is behind me

just whispering
that he's proud of me.

Penn and Teller,
I'm gonna share it with you

something quite amazing
tonight.

And I know my dad
would be proud.

[cheers and applause]

Stand back and make way
for Zak Mirz.

[cheers and applause]

My first trick is done.

Did you guys catch it?
Did you see it?

Oh, no.

I got this past security.

Oh, I thought I was
gonna like you.

[laughter]

Sorry about the table,

- Alyson.
- Mm-hmm.

You probably see this
as a really sharp knife.

I see it as a magic wand.

And of course, the only thing
that can make a trick

with a knife
more dangerous is...

[♪ ♪]

Cards.
[laughter]

- Alyson.
- Yeah.

We need a target card because
every knife needs a target.

So in a moment,
you're gonna reach over,

you're gonna pick up
a chunk of cards,

and you're gonna show it
to the guys.

Guys, please remember
that bottom card,

but it's really important that
neither of us see the card.

- Okay.
- Just the guys.

And then you're gonna
put it right back

onto the deck of cards.
Does that make sense?

- Yes.
- Go ahead and pick up a chunk of cards.

Pick up a chunk of cards.
Show it to the guys.

Guys, please remember
that bottom card.

You guys got it?
All right.

And put it back
onto the deck of cards.

Now, Alyson,
I'm gonna find your card

in the most dangerous way
possible...

by stabbing to it.

[laughter]

One, two.

Here's the thing.
[laughter]

If I were to stab
to their card right now,

that would be impressive,
but I'm a magician.

However, you don't know
what their card is either.

And if I mix these cards up,
Alyson,

you wouldn't even know
the location of their card.

Is that right?

Which is why
I think you should do it.

[laughter]

Stab the card?

-One question.
- Are you comfortable with a knife?

I mean, as long as it's not
near any body parts.

- Oh, no.
- Then pick a knife.

- Any knife.
- Oh, dear.

W-Where is security?
[laughter]

Uh.

- Pick a knife, any knife?
- Pick a knife, any knife.

Um, I'll do that one.

- Go ahead and take it.
- It's yours.

Oh, this is weird.

- By the way.
- That's a really good choice.

Now, Alyson, in a moment,

you are going to stab
to a random card.

Why are you rolling up
your sleeves?

But before you do,
I want to teach you

how to stab something first

'cause I don't want you
to hurt yourself, all right?

- So here's the thing.
- I mean, I've worked...

You're gonna hold
in stabber's grip,

so it's gonna be like this.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Hold the thumb on the top.

- Okay. All right.
- Just like that.

You don't hurt yourself
and we're gonna practice

with two joker cards,
one for you, one for me.

And you're gonna hover
that knife over that card.

You're gonna go straight down
and slowly pick up.

By the way, that stab's on you.

So we're gonna split the bill
for the table.

[laughter]

But let's see how you did.

[♪ ♪]

Just make sure you stab
through more than one card

and less than 52, but
don't overthink any of this.

Just channel in your inner...

psychopath and you'll do great.
[laughter]

So whenever you're ready,
go ahead and take a stab at it.

- Stab the deck?
- Yeah.

[♪ ♪]

Hold.

All right. It's okay.
All right. Here's the thing.

If you would've stabbed
a little bit harder,

you could have stabbed
to any one of these cards.

Penn, what was the name
of your card?

- Three of spades.
- Three of spades.

[♪ ♪]

[audience exclaims]

The three of spades.
[applause]

Zak Mirz.

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you so, so much.

How did you come up
with this?

And do all your tricks
involve weapons?

- Yeah. Okay. So funny story.
- I actually created this trick

because I got married
five years ago.

And I go on tour a lot
and my wife was like, you know,

I just kind of want, like,
a pocket knife,

just in case, just in case.

So we got her pocket knife
and I'm like,

I kinda want
a pocket knife as well.

So I bought one for myself.

And I was like, what kind
of tricks could I do with it?

So I kinda like created this,
and it's been a lot of fun.

So people don't know me
as, like, the magician anymore.

They know me
as, like, the knife guy.

Yeah. I'm just gonna
always think of you

as the guy not to hug.

Yeah. Yeah.

So what would it mean
for you to fool these guys?

- I'm just excited.
- I got invited to the party.

It's just such an honor
to be here right now.

I can't really
put it into worlds.

I know it's gonna be, like,
so quick as well.

So I'm just trying to process
this whole experience.

So I don't forget it.
So I'm just so grateful

that I'm even talking
to you right now

and talking
to Penn and Teller as well.

It's very intimidating,
by the way.

- You're a natural.
- Oh, thank you so much.

Okay, Zak, it's time to see
if you fooled Penn and Teller.

- Hey, Zak.
- Hey, Penn.

You kind of wormed your way
into our heart right away

because, one of the things
on this show that people

are always trying to do is make
card tricks interesting,

which is always tough.

And you may not know this,
but one of our first big,

big appearances
was on "Letterman"

and we did a card stab.

That's what we did.

It supposedly went wrong and
the knife went through my hand,

with the selected card
on my hand.

And my hand came up
and you know,

you're always told not to touch
David Letterman,

not to get near him.

He's very squeamish about that.

And my hand came up
with the fake blood,

it went right across his face.
[laughter]

But he had us
on another 20 times,

- so I guess it was okay.
- Yeah.

But we love the idea
of doing a card stab.

We knew right away

that the Force wasn't quite
with you the way you wanted.

- Yeah.
- When you started.

And we followed that.

And we think that,
you just got

a shim metal plate in the card

under the card
that was selected.

And that stopped.
And that's where the card was.

If that's not the way
you did it, then you fooled us.

We're pretty sure
that's the way you did it.

So you had a little metal plate
or something in there. Right?

If I understand you
correctly, like a metal plate...

Yeah.

- At the bottom.
- The card that was made...

Sorry,
this is going really fast.

So I'm so sorry, but it
it's a, like a metal plate.

One card was a metal

that stopped
the knife going that far?

Yeah. If I understand
what you're saying,

that's... that's, um,
that's not it.

[all gasping]

- Huh? Huh?
- [laughter]

Well, I have to move
this over here

and say that
you have fooled us.

Oh, my God.

- Take it off, take it off.
- Okay, okay.

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you, thank you.

- Now you're huggable.
- Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, my gosh.
Thank you so much.

- Look at that behind you.
- Thank you so much. Thank you.

Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my gosh.

- Thank you so much, guys.
- Congratulations.

- Thank you so much.
- I'm going to hug you now.

- Mr. Penn, thank you so much.
- Thank you so much, guys.

- Oh, dear.
- Wow.

- Zak Mirz!
- Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

Penn and Teller
just coughed up a trophy

and they could cough up
another one tonight.

We should have a medic
standing by.

Stick around,
it could get ugly.

[cheers and applause]

[♪ ♪]

[cheers and applause]

Welcome back to "Fool Us."

One magician already
fooled Penn and Teller,

and the night is far from over.

Let's bring out
our next challenger.

Everything I do
ends up in magic.

I puppeteer,

I do stilt works.

I did fire shows, too,
until it burned my crazy hair.

Robotics,
that's my new passion.

[laughs]

Like all performers,

I will do anything it takes
to get your attention.

I'm severely dyslexic, also.

I grew up and I could not read
a book to pass my time.

Magic taught me
to amuse myself

and then how to amuse others.

Actually, I think my magic
benefited from dyslexia.

It surprises people
by following its own path.

I don't know how to do magic
in a way they have seen before.

This is how I hope
to fool Penn and Teller.

I had to learn it my own way.

[cheers and applause]

From a studio in Sweden,

put your hands together
for John-Henry.

[cheers and applause]

[jazz music]

[♪ ♪]

[applause]

[♪ ♪]

[applause]

[♪ ♪]

[applause]

[♪ ♪]

[audience gasps]

[♪ ♪]

[audience gasps]

[♪ ♪]

[applause]

[♪ ♪]

[laughter]

[♪ ♪]

[applause]

[♪ ♪]

[applause]

[♪ ♪]

[laughter]

[♪ ♪]

[audience exclaims]

[applause]

[♪ ♪]

[cheers and applause]

John-Henry.
[applause]

Oh, that was wonderful.

Oh, thank you.

I don't wanna alarm you,

but there's a decapitated head
next to yourself.

- Well, it's my mini-me.
- Ah. It's terrifying.

Watch this.

- Whoo-hoo! Hey!
- [laughter]

That's even more disturbing.

I love your outfit.

Is that how they dress
where you're from?

Yeah, yeah.

All Swedes goes in red.
Always.

- Always.
- That's nice.

Is your on-stage character
what you're like off-stage too?

- Pretty much.
- I'm the crazy guy.

- It's high-energy.
- [chuckles] I love it.

- Oh, yay!
- [laughter]

So you said
that you're dyslexic,

but magic benefits
from dyslexia. How?

I actually learned
everything from books,

but I misunderstood
everything.

So I did it a different way

just because
I misunderstood everything.

Wow. Well, that's pretty
impressive then.

- Yeah. It's solving problems.
- That's my thing.

Yeah.

Okay, John-Henry, let's see if
you've fooled Penn and Teller.

Hey John-Henry. Boy, we got
so much good stuff to say.

I gotta go pretty fast.
We just loved everything.

If you wanted to do
a theatrical production

and you wanted quotes,

First thing I said was,
"That was just perfect."

And the first thing
Teller said was,

"It's the best cups and balls
I've ever seen."

It's so good.

And one thing that makes it
so great is that we all know

what tennis balls are.

And you know
what tennis balls are.

With jugglers and magicians,

they often have props
you don't know what they are.

And I also know as a juggler

that tennis balls are
not easy to juggle.

And you made it even harder
for yourself

because the tennis balls
you were juggling

sometimes are even harder.

And you did a great,
great job with that.

And also having cups and balls
that big so you can see it,

so it's theatrical,
so it's really out there,

so we know
what we're looking at.

The pails, the balls,
we know what that is.

The juggling in between.

Your whole look,
your whole style.

And I hate to see jugglers
working hard.

I don't like it when jugglers
make it look like

it's a difficult thing.

It should look magical
and natural.

Like you were born doing it.

We should never be able
to picture you practicing.

And you did all of that.
Just beautiful.

And we loved the whole act
and just all the way through,

we just sucked it up
like a sponge.

It was just...
It was just fabulous.

Every bit of it was great.

And because you're doing
cups and balls,

even though you had some
incredibly clever things

in there,
we know the cups and balls,

so I don't think you fooled us.

- But we sure love you, John.
- Okay.

John-Henry, do they know
your magic secrets?

Yeah, they do.

- Well, thank you so much.
- John-Henry.

- [cheers and applause]
- So good.

Let's take a quick break,
but stay close.

You don't wanna miss
our next act.

[cheers and applause]

Welcome back to "Fool Us."

Take a gander
at our next trickster.

Some people might think
I'm a weirdo.

I believe in UFOs
because I've seen one!

I have a cabinet
of curiosities at home.

It's my collection of strange
and unexplainable objects.

Don't believe in Bigfoot?
I've got a lock of his hair.

I actually hated magic

until my wife dragged me
to a magic show on a date.

The love of my life

introduced me to
the other love of my life...

Magic.

I wanted to learn
all the magic secrets,

so I read every book I could.

Tonight, I'm combining magic
with my lifelong obsession

for everything weird
and baffling.

If the government has been
fooling Penn and Teller

for years,
I know I can too.

[cheers and applause]

- Give it up for Andy Deemer.
- [cheers and applause]

Penn, Teller,
I'm so excited to be here.

My name is Andy.
Oh! [Laughs]

I was so excited, I forgot
to print the card box.

There we go.

Penn, Teller,
my name is Andy.

[laughs]

I was so excited,
I forgot to bring the cards.

Oy vey,
I hope this gets better.

[applause]

Much better.

Penn, Teller,
my name is Andy Deemer

and I'm so honored
to be here at "Fool Us."

Are you both ready
for some super fun happy magic?

- Yes.
- Oh, come on!

Are you ready for some super
fun happy magic?

- Yes! Oh, we sure are.
- [laughter]

- That's more like it.
- Now everyone loves card tricks,

especially when the cards
are red, right?

It it's such an organic
and biological color,

the color of wine
and roses and blood.

But I also brought a blue deck
for our friends

in the deep state.

Now I need
the happiest person here.

Are they gone?

Good.
We don't have much time.

[tense music]

[laughter]

Ladies and gentlemen,
my name is Andy Deemer,

but everything else is a lie.

The government
is using mind control.

It's true.
It's on Wikipedia.

I know. I wrote the articles.
[laughter]

You may think it's a lie,
but as a G-man,

and they will lie to you
because they want you to think

that you have free will,
but you do not.

Let me show you.
I need a test subject for this.

Preferably someone human-born.

Penn, we'll use you
for starters.

MKUltra-style
mind control cards, Penn.

- Oh, good.
- Just tell me when to stop.

[♪ ♪]

On this one, no?

- And stop.
- On this one?

Yeah.

- Not these?
- No.

See, Penn, like I told you,
there's no free will.

All of it?

Lies.
[laughter]

Lies, lies, lies,
and more lies.

But you insisting
on this one, right?

Yes.

Now you could have chosen
any card,

but something drew you here.

Was it free will, Penn?

[laughter]

Or was it those
mind control forces

just finding another way
to FU?

Keep this as a memento
of what may be

the single most important day
of your entire life:

The day you woke up to the way
we are all controlled.

We need to move on
before they cut the feed.

[laughter]

We all know about
subliminal advertising, right?

Where they flash
an image on screen

to make me buy more whiskey?
[laughter]

It's so much worse than that.

Check out these logos.
All of them are memorable.

Like they're implanted
in our minds,

but they're actually
sending us commands.

Alyson, let me show you how,
one way

that subliminal mind control
really does work, Alyson.

I'm gonna write down
a number on this pad,

and then I'll ask you to say
a number between three and 86.

I'm sure you all know why
those numbers.

[laughter]

The Illuminati!

The people behind the people
behind... mind control.

[♪ ♪]

Alyson,
I just wrote down my number.

When you're ready, please say
a number between three and 86.

- Three.
- Three.

Did that number just pop
into your mind, Alyson?

Or did you actually feel
the tendrils of control?

Almost like a squid sucking
at your neocortex?

- [laughter]
- Uh, sure.

I know you felt it, Alyson,
because you said three.

And that's the number
that they wanted you to say.

And the number that
I wrote down, Alyson?

Was 24.
[laughter]

You missed by 20...
She missed by 21.

You all think
that was an accident?

No, that is the magic
of mind control.

Miss by 21.
[audience gasps]

[mouths words]
[laughter and applause]

- That's amazing.
- Andy Deemer.

[cheers and applause]

Wow, wow.

So have you ever thought
of switching to decaf?

[laughter]

My wife asks me
the same thing every day.

I bet.

Is mind control real to you?

I think elements of it,
influence are real.

Obviously, all of this is just
showmanship and entertainment.

Okay. Do you get cornered
in airports?

Well, after my shows,
people love to come out

to the lobby

and talk about their unique
beliefs or their crazy uncle.

And I've done a lot of research

into all the conspiracy
theories, all the main ones,

and I love talking about them.

Nice. Do you ever try
to convince other people

of a different way of thinking,

like people that think
the Earth is flat?

You, you mean people
who think the earth is round?

[laughter]

Okay.

Of course,
I have my beliefs, too.

And of course I try
and argue those beliefs. Yes.

And does it ever get heated?

No, because you'll never
convince each other.

And I love hearing about
the new conspiracy theories

- that I don't know about.
- Okay.

So Penn and Teller get one shot
to figure this out.

Let's see if they did.

- Andy, great. Really great.
- It's a great act.

You came back with the opening
with the Paul Reubens thing,

who's a buddy of ours
and is great.

You looked very regal in that
whole outfit with the trick.

And everything looked really,
really, really wonderful.

And what you may not know,

it's nice to have someone come
out here and tell the truth,

but Teller and I
are the Illuminati.

[laughter]

But you didn't give up enough.
We're okay with it, still.

And of course, we're kidding.
It's just a joke.

But anyway, Andy, when we get
to the other part of that,

the prediction,
we love predictions

that start out wrong,
come out right.

And then the turnover
was really, really nice.

What you think of the
prediction there, Teller?

Yeah. Teller gives you
a thumbs up on that.

So it was really wonderful
routine, really funny,

really smart, well-rehearsed,
very, very clean.

But we don't think
you fooled us.

And I think we snuck
in a few things

that you probably heard
some code words in there.

- Correct. Thank you.
- Both of you.

So Andy, do they have a clue
how you did your trick?

The government may have
fooled them,

but I certainly didn't.
[laughter]

Well, thank you so much.

Andy Deemer!
[cheers and applause]

Walking into a black hole.
[laughter]

Come on back.

We've got more magic
than you can shake a wand at.

We'll be right back.

[cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

Welcome back.

Let's meet the next magician
taking on Penn and Teller.

Hi, I'm Thomas Solomon.

I made my name in magic
as an escape artist.

I can escape
from pretty much anything.

I got so good at it,
I challenge my audience

to bring in any handcuffs
they wanted.

The deal was if I can get out
of them, I get to keep them.

Now I've got a collection
of over 1,000 handcuffs.

Like a lot of magicians,

I fell in love with the
artistry of magic as a kid,

although for me, it was
a little more of a challenge.

My parents weren't in favor
of me pursuing it as a career,

so I left home.

I moved to New York
at 20 years old

with nothing
and slept on the streets,

all for the chance
to follow my passion.

In my opinion, you cannot
be a great escape artist

without being
a great magician,

so I'm doing something
very different tonight.

And with any luck,
I'll escape with a trophy.

[cheers and applause]

Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Thomas Solomon.

[cheers and applause]

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

Penn, Teller,
our entire physical world

is built
from simple geometric shapes.

For example,

if you were to step outside
the Penn & Teller Theater

onto the glamorous
Las Vegas strip,

you would notice some
of these geometric shapes

in architecture, automobiles,
even the jewelry that we wear.

All tangible objects
that can be broken down

into simple geometric shapes.

Now, as we all know,

there exists
three basic shapes.

There is the square,

a symbol of stability
and order.

There is the circle,
a symbol of energy

and freedom of movement.

Finally, there is the triangle.

It's three sides,

a symbol of our past,
present, and future.

And it is the past, present,
and future

that will be on display
here today.

But besides
the three dimensions

of these geometric shapes,
there is the fourth dimension

defined as the backwards
and forwards movement

of an object in time.

Watch.

If I were to cover the ball

with a cone in the world
of the fourth dimension,

the ball disappears
and travels backwards in time

just a few seconds
to where it all began,

here...

in my pockets.
How cool is that?

Of course,
the three-dimensional world

is equally astonishing.

It allows you to do
some amazing things.

Like I can pull one solid
right through another solid.

Of course,
if I were to place

the white ball
back into my pocket,

I could employ
the fourth dimension

so that it travels back
underneath the cone.

Remember, ladies and gentlemen,

the fourth dimension
is the backwards

and forwards movement
of an object in time

just a few seconds
to where it all began

here in my pocket.

Of course,

the three-dimensional world
is equally astonishing.

It allows you to do
some amazing things like

I can place the white ball
on top of the cone

and then push it through
the apex of the cone.

Likewise, I can cover
the white ball with the cone

and then form it
from the bottom of the cone

over here to my elbow.

And from my elbow, I could
place it into my pocket.

And from my pocket, I can
employ the fourth dimension

so that it travels back
underneath the cone.

Isn't the fourth
dimension amazing?

You know, all of this backwards
and forwards movement

of an object in time can be
a little, well, confusing.

And you might have been
watching the white ball

very closely.
When in reality,

you should have been
watching the red ball.

But I'll let you in
on a little secret:

The red ball is an illusion.

It doesn't exist.

It's a red herring, if you
will, meant to distract you.

You see, instead of watching
the red ball,

you should have been
watching the white ball.

And the white ball
is not underneath the cone.

No, that is over here
inside...

of my pocket.

You know,
people ask me all the time

in relation to this illusion.

Is it possible
to combine the second,

third, and fourth dimension
all at once?

The answer to that
is a resounding yes

if I place the white ball
on top of the cone,

and then I cover the white ball
with the handkerchief.

Now, it is incumbent upon you,
Penn and Teller

to keep your eyes right here
on the white ball.

I'll twist the bottom
of the handkerchief

so that there is no way
for the ball to escape.

Yet with a little bit of magic,

the ball goes not through
the bottom of the handkerchief,

but actually rises
right through the top.

A solid right through
another solid.

[applause]

But you know,
ladies and gentlemen,

this has been the story
of the fourth dimension.

And the transference
of an object,

in this case, the ball,

backwards and forwards

through the fourth dimension...

to where it's all ended
here underneath the cone.

And there you have the story
of the fourth dimension

as told through the magic
of the ball and the cone.

Thank you.
[cheers and applause]

- Thomas Solomon.
- [applause]

So while they try
to figure out this trick,

I would love to hear
about your most daring escapes.

Anytime you do water escapes,

they are
by their very nature daring.

I've done things where

I'm jumping off a retaining
wall handcuffed into the river.

So it's quite dramatic.
It's quite dangerous.

And I would hazard a guess
that every one of them

in their own way is daring.

Yeah, it sounds terrifying.

Well, I've been doing it
most of my life.

I mean, since I was probably
about 15 or 16 years old.

And it's all about
creating the illusion

you're risking your life.

But even using magic,

wasn't the first time you went
into the water really scary?

Oh, very much so.

You can prepare for months,
years for something,

but then eventually
have to go out and do it.

And that can be quite
a scary experience.

I would imagine your parents
weren't too excited

when a 15-year-old you decided
to do, like, water escapes?

- Not at all.
- My parents said, "What?"

- And yet, you did.
- And yet, you did.

Okay, well, let's see if
your four-dimensional routine

can earn you a trophy.

Hey Tom, it's the first thing
Teller said, we went to try to

work on your routine was
he said, "I like that guy."

And I said, "Me. Too."

It's so nice. You know, it's
good in showbiz to be flashy

and come out and do big stuff,

but there's also something
so nice

about just having the goods

and standing there
and doing it.

I really like the... the
austerity and the simplicity.

And the likability is
just really, really beautiful.

I want to tell people
watching that Teller, I mean,

I know you have the color
changes and Dai Vernon didn't,

but a lot of this
was written up

and certainly credited
by Dai Vernon.

But Teller decided that
he was gonna learn

the cone and the ball routine
from Dai Vernon.

Teller worked on it a while
and gave up

because it's
so [bleep]damn hard.

[laughter]

You are doing
bastard-hard moves.

Crazy, insane, hard moves.

I mean, that's a big ball

to be doing the stuff
you're doing with.

And the stuff, the moves,
are just beautiful

and you do it so calmly.
So easily,

your patter's so nice with it.

Also, and I think
this seems like a minor point,

but I think it may be
one of the most important,

and that is that you're
the only magician

that ever justified the cone.

Most people just take the cone
as a given,

but it works right
into your patter.

So with all the shapes
and so on,

there's a reason
for having that cone there,

which really does inform
the whole rest of the routine

and makes it
very, very beautiful.

We're so, so happy to see it.

And I'll tell you, Teller
would've never gotten that good

if he worked the rest
of his life.

[laughter]
It's really beautiful.

But we do know the Dai Vernon,
we do appreciate your changes,

but we also think we know them.

Yep.

So did they say
the magic words

that mean they know
how you did your trick?

- Yes, they did.
- Oh. Well, thank you so much.

Thank you.

- Thomas Solomon.
- [cheers and applause]

Coming up, if you wanna see
Penn and Teller

get out of those chairs
and get to work,

you're in luck.

Our main men in magic
do a trick of their own

when "Fool Us" returns.

[cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

Welcome back to "Fool Us."

When people look at Penn,

they often think he isn't
playing with a full deck.

Penn's here to prove
those people wrong,

and he's joined
by an old friend

and fellow Las Vegas headliner,
Carrot Top.

- [cheers and applause]
- Hello, sir. How are you?

- Very well.
- Thank you, thank you.

- I wanna show you a trick.
- Great.

I've been working on
for 46 years.

Teller and I did
our first shows together

in August of 1975
in Shakopee, Minnesota.

Oh, wow, I love Shakopee.

- You do love Shakopee?
- Yeah. [Snores]

It's where the Minnesota
Renaissance...

No, it's great.

It's a great... sorry, Shakopee.
You're out there.

That was really for me snoring
at your show.

It's not the city.

I would is really into
memorizing things. Still am.

- Yeah. Amazing.
- I love memory stuff.

I love mind games.

And, Teller, we went
to the Shakopee gift shop,

bought me this deck of cards
because I don't like dogs.

[laughter]
So it's a nice, little puppy.

And he took the cellophane off
and he shuffled.

He shuffled this deck
a bunch of times and then said,

"Here you go, smartass,
memorize these."

So this is the order
of the deck of cards

that Tellers shuffled way back
all those years ago,

46 years ago.

And I know where every card is
at every number.

Name a card.

- Any card?
- Any card.

- Queen of... queen of...
- Queen of hearts.

- Queen of hearts?
- Yeah.

That's eight in the deck.

The queen of hearts
is number eight in the deck?

- Number eight in this deck.
- Watch this.

How do I know you didn't have
a look through this thing?

One, two, three,

four, five, six,

seven, eight.

- Am I right?
- It's the queen of hearts.

Oh, my God, that's amazing.

And I'm gonna put these back
very carefully,

so I don't change the order

so I could do this trick again.
And I have that exact order.

You really don't need
to do it again.

[laughs] Oh, no,
we're gonna do it again.

But we're gonna do it
even better because,

Teller and I have been
working together all that time.

We've traveled
all over the world,

but especially the U.S.

And many gift shops, Teller
has bought me decks of cards.

And we have ended up
over all these years...

- There's Teller.
- Oh, my gosh. Hi, mate.

Now these decks
are all shuffled.

And they're all in an order
that I memorized.

And now you got
the queen of hearts

was eight
and the Shakopee deck.

Yeah.

But I can find
that queen of hearts

in another deck
if you give me another number

where you'd like
the queen of hearts to be.

I have... I have four letters
on my shirt.

So how about four.
CTOP, four.

- Four.
- You wanna go with four?

Is that a good number
for you?

- That would work fine.
- Okay.

So you'd want
the queen of hearts

to be the fourth card there.

Well, that would be
Mississippi.

And that would be Tunica.

And Tunica, Mississippi
It would be

between the nine of spades
and the Penn and Teller card,

the three of clubs.
So there's Tunica...

- All right.
- This is amazing.

Mississippi right there.

And we have one, two, three.

I said the nine of spades
and there's four.

There's the queen of hearts.
[audience exclaims]

And I said three of clubs
is next, didn't I?

There's the three of clubs
right there.

And they go very nicely
back into the collection.

- Wow.
- That is amazing.

Well we'll do one more thing
for you, Carrot Top.

Okay.

I'm gonna let you
pick the location.

Now usually I ask people
when I'm doing this for them,

where they were born,
but I know where you were born.

- You're an Orlando guy.
- Oh, yep. Florida.

- Yeah.
- I can pick anywhere I want?

Yeah. I mean, I don't want
to go with Orlando.

- People will think I set it up.
- Yeah, that's true.

- So any other place.
- Any other place there?

- Do I go on the map here?
- Yeah.

Go on the map
pick any place you want.

I feel like I'm gonna
spin the wheel $1.

[laughter]

Wow, there's so many places
that I could pick.

- Yeah. There's a lot.
- There's 372.

- Well, can I use the ladder?
- Yes. Use the ladder.

That looks fun,
that looks fun.

Let's make it dangerous.

- Yeah.
- Put me on a ladder.

So why don't you step
right up there Carrot Top?

All right. I'm gonna try
to see if I can find one.

Since I got the ladder.

It could be Canada.

♪ O Canada ♪
[laughter]

♪ [vocalizing] ♪

You have rights to that,
don't you?

- I have rights to it.
- I'm not sure if you guys do.

[laughter]
Well, since I had the ladder,

I'll try to pick one
I can reach.

- Is that okay?
- You got Hawaii?

- I got Hawaii.
- Hawaii.

And that is...
Which Hawaii is that?

- Oh, I don't know.
- Maybe look at that one.

- Yeah. Okay.
- I got that one.

- You memorized it?
- Now bring it over here.

Now you're gonna handle this.
I'm not gonna touch it.

- Okay.
- That's the important part.

Let's move this deck
out the way.

And then give me a number.
I usually go with a birthday,

but I don't want to go
with the birthday with you

'cause I might know that.
I don't.

- Seven Vegas.
- Seven, baby.

Okay. So seven in that deck,

seven is the nine of spades.

Okay.

So go ahead with the nine
of spades right there.

Count seven. Now count 'em
from the top down, face-up.

- One.
- Okay.

- Both: Two.
- Three.

- I don't know.
- Don't yell at me.

Both: Four, five, six.

I said nine of spades,
nine of spades.

- This is it, this is it?
- This is it.

Nine of spades.
Show it.

- Whoa.
- Nine of spades.

Keep going, keep going.

- Oh, my God.
- You're right.

That's the queen hearts,
three of clubs,

then it's the ten of clubs,
ten of clubs is next.

Then it's the king of spades,
is next.

And then it's
the ace of hearts.

And then it's
the four of diamonds.

Then it's the jack of diamonds.
Then it's the king of diamonds.

Keep going. King of hearts,
two of diamonds.

Then it's the queen of clubs.

Nine of clubs, ten of hearts,
eight of diamonds,

two of clubs, ace of clubs,
and so on.

- Wow.
- That's... I am way behind.

Seven oh hearts,
seven of clubs.

What I do for you right now,
Carrot Top

'cause you're a friend,

I'm gonna put these back
in the same order.

- You didn't mess 'em up did you?
- I did not mess 'em up.

- You were careful.
- Think I was very good.

I'm gonna put this
in the Hawaii box.

And then if you keep these
in this order, Carrot Top...

You'll give me a trip
to Hawaii?

For the rest
of our lives... no,

no trip to Hawaii.
For the rest of our lives,

if you have this deck with you,

you can give me any number
or any card

and I'll tell you where it is.

- I'll call you.
- "Hey, hey, I'm on the..."

Thank you so much.

- Thanks guys for having me.
- [cheers and applause]

- Yay, yay.
- Yay.

Big thanks to Carrot Top

and even bigger thanks
to all of you watching us.

Don't forget to come back for
the next episode of "Fool Us."

Till then,
good night from Las Vegas.

Don't shuffle those.

[cheers and applause]