Peacemaker (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Episode #1.8 - full transcript
I know I'm the last person that you
want to hear from right now, Chris,
and I...
I can't apologize enough for...
I know that you're mad,
but from the bottom
of my heart...
I really am sorry,
I'm just trying to...
What were you gonna say?
I was saying...
I am just trying to apologize!
And I just thought
you were my fucking friend!
Set me up to take the fall and
then you try to send me to prison,
and you think "I'm sorry"
is gonna cut it?
- "Cut it!"
- Dude, we're off it!
- We are?
- I am getting so many moral judgments from people
who regularly kill people.
I don't kill people
for nothing, all right?
- When my brother died, I made a vow...
- Right, "the vow."
- Anyone I'd kill, I'd kill for peace.
- Oh, Jesus.
So, unlike Keith, no one would
ever die for no reason again.
Well, that's fucking stupid!
So, you're gonna make it so that
death isn't meaningless anymore?
Go fuck yourself!
I read your file, Chris.
It was an accident!
You were a child!
Don't forgive me, that's fine.
But stop letting that shit
define who you are.
Are you guys
serious right now?
We just had a really sick time
murdering Peacemaker's dad,
then all these hilarious
fart jokes,
just, like,
an all-time classic run,
with my best friend,
my second-best friend, Eagly,
my fifth best friend, Adebayo,
and now you guys are ruining it.
Mom, there are way more
Butterflies than we thought
and the whole team is injured.
So, I was thinking, like,
maybe you could call in
the Justice League?
No, I'm not kidding.
Can you believe Amanda Waller
is her fucking mother?
- Yes.
- Do we have time to wait for backup?
No. They're teleporting
the creature out of here!
Mom, they're teleporting
the creature out of here.
This is our only chance
to stop them,
then we're back
to square-fucking-one.
Then we're back to square one.
All right.
All right, I will tell her.
Fine. My mom says
you're in charge
and Economos and I should stay
back in case anything goes wrong.
Copy, Mom.
Yes, ma'am.
How much longer
is it going to be?
The teleporter is nearly
installed and functional.
As soon it is, we'll move her
to the Eastern Base.
Quickly, please.
Forces could arrive any minute,
and without her, we're all dead.
If Waller is your mom,
why is your last name Adebayo?
I took my wife's name.
Doesn't that make you
the girl in the relationship?
We're both girls
in the relationship, Adrian.
That's what being a lesbian is.
Hey, Peacemaker...
what do these do?
This is Underwater World,
allows you to breathe underwater.
Okay, not sure
how we can use that.
This one's Scabies For All.
Upon activation,
it gives everybody
in a one-mile radius scabies,
except, of course,
the wearer of the helmet.
This one is Anti-Gravity.
Allows you to float.
- Aimlessly?
- No. I carry a tiny hand fan to guide me.
This is Sonic Boom. It's the one
I used to stop the rocker chick.
How many booms does it produce
on one charge?
I don't know, three, maybe four.
This one,
we should just throw away.
- What is it?
- Human Torpedo.
So, you aim your head
at whatever you want to destroy
- and you become a...
- Human torpedo.
Sweet.
Yeah, only sweet if you wanna risk
shattering every bone in your body.
It's just a prototype.
Okay, so let's say I want to get
this Sonic Boom helmet
onto the top of that barn
over there without being seen?
Just the helmet itself?
No. I'm gonna put a walkie in it
and activate it from here.
And then maybe you can put on
Activate Anti-Gravity
and just float it over there.
- Uh, guys?
- Okay, I forgot my tiny hand fan,
but, you know...
...once in the jungles of Cambodia,
I used two
oversized palm fronds as...
Guys!
Fuck! Deactivate Anti-Gravity!
Deactivate Anti-Gravity!
Did you say
"Activate Anti-Gravity?"
No. Maybe. I don't know.
You can't fucking say that shit!
- I didn't know it was that voice sensitive!
- Fuck it, no big deal.
I didn't just kill the only man
who knows how to make it.
You did just kill the only man
who knows how to make it.
I know, bro!
I was being sarcastic.
If you're gonna be sarcastic,
you should really warn people
so there's no confusion.
Okay, so how do we get
the Sonic Boom Helmet
over to the barn?
Well, we can shoot
a fishing line over to the barn
from one of these trees here,
and just let the helmet slide down.
- Like Green Arrow?
- No, not like Green Arrow.
That dude goes
to Brony conventions
dressed as the back half
of Twilight Sparkle
with a four-inch-wide butthole
drilled in the costume.
Maybe it's so
he can breathe properly.
You actually believe that shit?
He has an insane story
for every single superhero.
No, I actually heard
that's true about Green Arrow.
But that's the first thing
he's said that's real.
- And Aquaman fucking fish.
- Well, yeah, obviously.
Look, it doesn't even matter
we don't have any bows.
But we do have a team member
capable of flight.
Get the fuck out.
That's right. Good. Okay.
I need you
to take that helmet...
...and drop it on top of that barn.
No way can an eagle understand
what you're saying.
Oh, Eagly's no ordinary eagle.
No, Eagly, take it.
No, Eagly, just, take...
Take the helmet.
Take it! Take it.
I know you don't like her.
The mean, blonde woman
has nothing to do with this.
- No, no.
- No.
- No. No.
- Eagly. Take the helmet.
- Take the helmet.
- Eagly, take the helmet.
Eagly, take the helmet.
Good, Eagly, good. Good boy.
Go, Eagly.
Go to the barn. Go to the barn.
Shit.
I knew there was no way he knew
what you were talking about!
Peacemaker is a great guy
in almost every way,
but his biggest flaw
is that he commonly
overestimates Eagly's abilities.
Okay, they could be teleporting
this cow at any minute.
We need to fan out
and look for the helmet.
Easy. Easy.
Do you see anything over there?
I saw a squirrel
a couple seconds ago. Ants.
No, dude.
I'm talking about the helmet.
Well, then you should
be more specific.
We're looking for a helmet,
why do I care if you saw ants?
Because
the circle of life, bro.
What do ants have to do
with the circle of life?
They're one
of the most important
parts of it.
How are ants
a more important part
of the circle of life
than, like, fish?
Is that
a serious question?
What?
There are shitloads of ants.
How many fish are there?
I don't know! But probably
as many as there are ants!
Not in one place
at the same time, dude.
Okay, I am as confused as fuck
by this conversation.
Yeah? Well, welcome
to the fucking club!
Oh, fuck.
So...
...why'd you change your mind
and decide to come?
I saw an eagle hug a human.
So, I thought
maybe it was a sign.
- To risk your life?
- Yep.
Why wasn't it a sign to, like,
run in the opposite direction?
Fuck!
We're never gonna find
this dumb fucking hat.
You thought you could lose me
by killing me, boy?
I'm in your head.
I'm the reason you kill
and the reason
you can't sleep at night.
My body may be gone,
but the rest of me
is right here!
- And I ain't going nowhere!
- Shit.
- The fuck are you doing?
- Getting my poison blow gun, fucko.
Well, why don't you just go
for your piece, cumstain?
You're metaphorical, douchewad.
My gun is real.
I don't want the Butterflies
to hear.
I almost tricked you,
fuck nugget.
You didn't trick shit,
you ballsack-looking fuck.
I immediately went
for my blow gun.
I didn't think for a second
about going for my gun!
How do you like that, huh?
Thanks for coming back, ghost,
so I could kill you
all over again.
Smith?
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
Holy shit.
Whoa.
I need you to do
something else for me.
Are you fucking kidding me?
The only way for us to get
the helmet inside of the barn
is by one of us
going in undercover.
They're gonna notice Adebayo
and me with these injuries.
Cool. I'll do it.
You can't do it, man.
Goff knows what we look like.
I'll wear a funny nose.
John, you're the only one.
I don't even want to be here.
And why are these wet?
- I washed them in the creek.
- Why?
One of the things us warriors
seldom talk about
is how often people
shit themselves when they die.
It's a touch of gray in the
white cloud of kicking ass.
So, now, you want me
to risk my life
while wearing diarrhea pants?
Hey, nobody said anything
about diarrhea. I said it was shit.
- Was it diarrhea?
- Yes, it was.
John, you can do this.
Just act like they act.
- Don't show any expression.
- Yeah, like Harcourt.
Eat my dick, Schwarze-never.
They're aliens.
Do they even speak English?
They retain the memories of
the bodies they've taken over.
So, they seem to primarily
use English when communicating.
Fuck. Fine!
Would you look away?
Happily.
- John, you copy?
- Yes. Copy.
Don't look back!
They're everywhere.
This is fucking stupid.
Remain calm.
Head towards the barn
like you know what you're doing.
- Relax your face.
- Shut up, I know.
Hey!
Fuck.
Where are you going?
- I'm going inside.
- Why?
Fuck!
Because of this bag.
What the fuck does that mean?
Okay. Just wanted to make sure.
How the fuck did that work?
Sorry.
I have a real bad gag reflex.
Oh, shit.
I'm good. I'm good.
Would you shut the fuck up?
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
John, you're already inside.
You're doing great.
Please. What's there?
Uh... Stairs...
and an elevator.
An elevator's noisy.
Head down the stairwell.
Yeah, of course.
You head down
the fucking stairwell.
John, don't creep.
You have to act normal,
like you're supposed
to be there.
We just need you to place the
helmet down as low as possible.
Oh, no.
John?
John, you copy?
Uh-uh. Fuck it. No more kaijus.
No more kaijus.
- Fuck this.
- John, do you copy?
Jesus fuckin' Christ.
What the fuck is that?
The fuck is that?
"Cow," my ass.
It's a motherfucking caterpillar
the size
of the Empire State Building.
Get ready.
We need to get
the fuck out of here.
Hey!
Fuck.
The man you've taken over.
Why did he do that to his beard?
Do what?
Why did he color his beard
all strange like that?
He thought it made him look
younger and more handsome.
He never had a girlfriend,
so he thought dying his beard
might help.
But he was also lazy...
and busy with his job...
and he wouldn't dye
his roots regularly.
And when he did,
he used the cheapest brand,
because he was
incredibly underpaid.
Mostly, though...
he never thought
anybody noticed...
until recently...
when one guy said it to him
all the time.
Humans can be really pathetic.
Yeah.
Fine, I dye my beard, all right?
We all know it.
I guess I learned my lesson.
L'Oréal probably is worth
the extra few bucks.
Hey!
That guy
just put this down here!
- Fuck! Do it, now! Do it.
- Activate Sonic...
What the fuck?
- How did that even happen?
- My hands are sweaty!
Get the fuck off me!
Activate Sonic Boom.
No.
Wait.
- Now!
- Activate Sonic Boom.
Fuck. Oh, fuck. Fuck.
Activate Sonic Boom.
No.
Activate Sonic Boom.
Yep, that's it for the charges.
No!
Look, I can help.
We need you to stay here, Ads.
If something happens to us,
you're the only hope.
The fuck am I?
What's the plan, man?
Let's go kill a cow.
Chris! Go kill the cow!
We'll hold them off here!
Don't fuck
with my BFF.
Oh, darn it.
- Oh, my God.
- What's happening? I can't see.
Harcourt is down!
What? The fuck do we do?
Wait, what are you doing?
No, no, Adebayo.
You can't. You'll get hurt!
You can't do this! Hey, what
makes you think you can do this?
Because I'm made for this shit.
Dude, God, damn it!
You're gonna get hurt!
Fuck.
Oh, what the fuck?
What the fuck?
Stay with me.
Help...
- ...Chris.
- I have to get you out of here.
- Go.
- And do what?
Leota!
Be with me, baby Jesus.
Okay.
Oh.
Oh.
- Goff?
- Yeah.
Activate Human Torpedo!
Oh, Jesus, I told her
not to use that one.
Listen to me.
I have no reason to hurt you.
Stop fighting. Follow me.
Holy cow.
It is.
Good. You found him.
I need three sets of hands
to teleport her away from here.
Come again?
See that switch?
I need you to flip that
while Locke and I
work these two stations
to teleport the cow
to our cavern in Maine.
Why the fuck would I help you?
Because I know
that once I tell you the truth,
like I did with Judomaster,
you'll join us.
Murn told us the truth already.
You've murdered innocent people
all over the country
by taking them over
in your dipshit quest for power.
We're not doing this for power.
We're doing it
because we took a vow.
Our kind traveled here
from a planet
that had become unlivable.
Your planet had
the habitat we needed,
water to drink,
and air to breathe.
Your food
couldn't sustain us, but...
...that's why we brought her.
The cow would help the last
of our people survive
for another hundred years.
But
not long after we arrived,
we realized the people of Earth
were on the exact
same trajectory
as our people had been,
ignoring science
in favor of populist leaders
who tell you that the floods
and the fires and the disease
are unrelated
to your own actions,
valuing profit over survival,
treating minor inconveniences
as assaults on your freedom.
And so, we made a vow
to do anything we could
to change your future.
We made a vow
to make the choices for you
that you were incapable
of making on your own,
to save your people
and your world,
no matter how many lives
it cost us.
Murn disagreed with our methods.
He didn't think we had the right
to impose our will.
But you're one of us,
Christopher Smith.
...I'll do
whatever you want me to do...
...for peace.
Thank you for feeding me
and talking to me
and showing me kindness.
I see who you are
and I see your character.
I tried telling you yesterday,
in the jar.
Peace sign.
Please, fulfill your calling.
Be the Peacemaker.
Join us in saving your planet.
What do you say?
Activate Human Torpedo.
What?
Sorry, Goff.
Oh, what the fuck?
Fucking disgusting!
Thank you.
want to hear from right now, Chris,
and I...
I can't apologize enough for...
I know that you're mad,
but from the bottom
of my heart...
I really am sorry,
I'm just trying to...
What were you gonna say?
I was saying...
I am just trying to apologize!
And I just thought
you were my fucking friend!
Set me up to take the fall and
then you try to send me to prison,
and you think "I'm sorry"
is gonna cut it?
- "Cut it!"
- Dude, we're off it!
- We are?
- I am getting so many moral judgments from people
who regularly kill people.
I don't kill people
for nothing, all right?
- When my brother died, I made a vow...
- Right, "the vow."
- Anyone I'd kill, I'd kill for peace.
- Oh, Jesus.
So, unlike Keith, no one would
ever die for no reason again.
Well, that's fucking stupid!
So, you're gonna make it so that
death isn't meaningless anymore?
Go fuck yourself!
I read your file, Chris.
It was an accident!
You were a child!
Don't forgive me, that's fine.
But stop letting that shit
define who you are.
Are you guys
serious right now?
We just had a really sick time
murdering Peacemaker's dad,
then all these hilarious
fart jokes,
just, like,
an all-time classic run,
with my best friend,
my second-best friend, Eagly,
my fifth best friend, Adebayo,
and now you guys are ruining it.
Mom, there are way more
Butterflies than we thought
and the whole team is injured.
So, I was thinking, like,
maybe you could call in
the Justice League?
No, I'm not kidding.
Can you believe Amanda Waller
is her fucking mother?
- Yes.
- Do we have time to wait for backup?
No. They're teleporting
the creature out of here!
Mom, they're teleporting
the creature out of here.
This is our only chance
to stop them,
then we're back
to square-fucking-one.
Then we're back to square one.
All right.
All right, I will tell her.
Fine. My mom says
you're in charge
and Economos and I should stay
back in case anything goes wrong.
Copy, Mom.
Yes, ma'am.
How much longer
is it going to be?
The teleporter is nearly
installed and functional.
As soon it is, we'll move her
to the Eastern Base.
Quickly, please.
Forces could arrive any minute,
and without her, we're all dead.
If Waller is your mom,
why is your last name Adebayo?
I took my wife's name.
Doesn't that make you
the girl in the relationship?
We're both girls
in the relationship, Adrian.
That's what being a lesbian is.
Hey, Peacemaker...
what do these do?
This is Underwater World,
allows you to breathe underwater.
Okay, not sure
how we can use that.
This one's Scabies For All.
Upon activation,
it gives everybody
in a one-mile radius scabies,
except, of course,
the wearer of the helmet.
This one is Anti-Gravity.
Allows you to float.
- Aimlessly?
- No. I carry a tiny hand fan to guide me.
This is Sonic Boom. It's the one
I used to stop the rocker chick.
How many booms does it produce
on one charge?
I don't know, three, maybe four.
This one,
we should just throw away.
- What is it?
- Human Torpedo.
So, you aim your head
at whatever you want to destroy
- and you become a...
- Human torpedo.
Sweet.
Yeah, only sweet if you wanna risk
shattering every bone in your body.
It's just a prototype.
Okay, so let's say I want to get
this Sonic Boom helmet
onto the top of that barn
over there without being seen?
Just the helmet itself?
No. I'm gonna put a walkie in it
and activate it from here.
And then maybe you can put on
Activate Anti-Gravity
and just float it over there.
- Uh, guys?
- Okay, I forgot my tiny hand fan,
but, you know...
...once in the jungles of Cambodia,
I used two
oversized palm fronds as...
Guys!
Fuck! Deactivate Anti-Gravity!
Deactivate Anti-Gravity!
Did you say
"Activate Anti-Gravity?"
No. Maybe. I don't know.
You can't fucking say that shit!
- I didn't know it was that voice sensitive!
- Fuck it, no big deal.
I didn't just kill the only man
who knows how to make it.
You did just kill the only man
who knows how to make it.
I know, bro!
I was being sarcastic.
If you're gonna be sarcastic,
you should really warn people
so there's no confusion.
Okay, so how do we get
the Sonic Boom Helmet
over to the barn?
Well, we can shoot
a fishing line over to the barn
from one of these trees here,
and just let the helmet slide down.
- Like Green Arrow?
- No, not like Green Arrow.
That dude goes
to Brony conventions
dressed as the back half
of Twilight Sparkle
with a four-inch-wide butthole
drilled in the costume.
Maybe it's so
he can breathe properly.
You actually believe that shit?
He has an insane story
for every single superhero.
No, I actually heard
that's true about Green Arrow.
But that's the first thing
he's said that's real.
- And Aquaman fucking fish.
- Well, yeah, obviously.
Look, it doesn't even matter
we don't have any bows.
But we do have a team member
capable of flight.
Get the fuck out.
That's right. Good. Okay.
I need you
to take that helmet...
...and drop it on top of that barn.
No way can an eagle understand
what you're saying.
Oh, Eagly's no ordinary eagle.
No, Eagly, take it.
No, Eagly, just, take...
Take the helmet.
Take it! Take it.
I know you don't like her.
The mean, blonde woman
has nothing to do with this.
- No, no.
- No.
- No. No.
- Eagly. Take the helmet.
- Take the helmet.
- Eagly, take the helmet.
Eagly, take the helmet.
Good, Eagly, good. Good boy.
Go, Eagly.
Go to the barn. Go to the barn.
Shit.
I knew there was no way he knew
what you were talking about!
Peacemaker is a great guy
in almost every way,
but his biggest flaw
is that he commonly
overestimates Eagly's abilities.
Okay, they could be teleporting
this cow at any minute.
We need to fan out
and look for the helmet.
Easy. Easy.
Do you see anything over there?
I saw a squirrel
a couple seconds ago. Ants.
No, dude.
I'm talking about the helmet.
Well, then you should
be more specific.
We're looking for a helmet,
why do I care if you saw ants?
Because
the circle of life, bro.
What do ants have to do
with the circle of life?
They're one
of the most important
parts of it.
How are ants
a more important part
of the circle of life
than, like, fish?
Is that
a serious question?
What?
There are shitloads of ants.
How many fish are there?
I don't know! But probably
as many as there are ants!
Not in one place
at the same time, dude.
Okay, I am as confused as fuck
by this conversation.
Yeah? Well, welcome
to the fucking club!
Oh, fuck.
So...
...why'd you change your mind
and decide to come?
I saw an eagle hug a human.
So, I thought
maybe it was a sign.
- To risk your life?
- Yep.
Why wasn't it a sign to, like,
run in the opposite direction?
Fuck!
We're never gonna find
this dumb fucking hat.
You thought you could lose me
by killing me, boy?
I'm in your head.
I'm the reason you kill
and the reason
you can't sleep at night.
My body may be gone,
but the rest of me
is right here!
- And I ain't going nowhere!
- Shit.
- The fuck are you doing?
- Getting my poison blow gun, fucko.
Well, why don't you just go
for your piece, cumstain?
You're metaphorical, douchewad.
My gun is real.
I don't want the Butterflies
to hear.
I almost tricked you,
fuck nugget.
You didn't trick shit,
you ballsack-looking fuck.
I immediately went
for my blow gun.
I didn't think for a second
about going for my gun!
How do you like that, huh?
Thanks for coming back, ghost,
so I could kill you
all over again.
Smith?
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
Holy shit.
Whoa.
I need you to do
something else for me.
Are you fucking kidding me?
The only way for us to get
the helmet inside of the barn
is by one of us
going in undercover.
They're gonna notice Adebayo
and me with these injuries.
Cool. I'll do it.
You can't do it, man.
Goff knows what we look like.
I'll wear a funny nose.
John, you're the only one.
I don't even want to be here.
And why are these wet?
- I washed them in the creek.
- Why?
One of the things us warriors
seldom talk about
is how often people
shit themselves when they die.
It's a touch of gray in the
white cloud of kicking ass.
So, now, you want me
to risk my life
while wearing diarrhea pants?
Hey, nobody said anything
about diarrhea. I said it was shit.
- Was it diarrhea?
- Yes, it was.
John, you can do this.
Just act like they act.
- Don't show any expression.
- Yeah, like Harcourt.
Eat my dick, Schwarze-never.
They're aliens.
Do they even speak English?
They retain the memories of
the bodies they've taken over.
So, they seem to primarily
use English when communicating.
Fuck. Fine!
Would you look away?
Happily.
- John, you copy?
- Yes. Copy.
Don't look back!
They're everywhere.
This is fucking stupid.
Remain calm.
Head towards the barn
like you know what you're doing.
- Relax your face.
- Shut up, I know.
Hey!
Fuck.
Where are you going?
- I'm going inside.
- Why?
Fuck!
Because of this bag.
What the fuck does that mean?
Okay. Just wanted to make sure.
How the fuck did that work?
Sorry.
I have a real bad gag reflex.
Oh, shit.
I'm good. I'm good.
Would you shut the fuck up?
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
John, you're already inside.
You're doing great.
Please. What's there?
Uh... Stairs...
and an elevator.
An elevator's noisy.
Head down the stairwell.
Yeah, of course.
You head down
the fucking stairwell.
John, don't creep.
You have to act normal,
like you're supposed
to be there.
We just need you to place the
helmet down as low as possible.
Oh, no.
John?
John, you copy?
Uh-uh. Fuck it. No more kaijus.
No more kaijus.
- Fuck this.
- John, do you copy?
Jesus fuckin' Christ.
What the fuck is that?
The fuck is that?
"Cow," my ass.
It's a motherfucking caterpillar
the size
of the Empire State Building.
Get ready.
We need to get
the fuck out of here.
Hey!
Fuck.
The man you've taken over.
Why did he do that to his beard?
Do what?
Why did he color his beard
all strange like that?
He thought it made him look
younger and more handsome.
He never had a girlfriend,
so he thought dying his beard
might help.
But he was also lazy...
and busy with his job...
and he wouldn't dye
his roots regularly.
And when he did,
he used the cheapest brand,
because he was
incredibly underpaid.
Mostly, though...
he never thought
anybody noticed...
until recently...
when one guy said it to him
all the time.
Humans can be really pathetic.
Yeah.
Fine, I dye my beard, all right?
We all know it.
I guess I learned my lesson.
L'Oréal probably is worth
the extra few bucks.
Hey!
That guy
just put this down here!
- Fuck! Do it, now! Do it.
- Activate Sonic...
What the fuck?
- How did that even happen?
- My hands are sweaty!
Get the fuck off me!
Activate Sonic Boom.
No.
Wait.
- Now!
- Activate Sonic Boom.
Fuck. Oh, fuck. Fuck.
Activate Sonic Boom.
No.
Activate Sonic Boom.
Yep, that's it for the charges.
No!
Look, I can help.
We need you to stay here, Ads.
If something happens to us,
you're the only hope.
The fuck am I?
What's the plan, man?
Let's go kill a cow.
Chris! Go kill the cow!
We'll hold them off here!
Don't fuck
with my BFF.
Oh, darn it.
- Oh, my God.
- What's happening? I can't see.
Harcourt is down!
What? The fuck do we do?
Wait, what are you doing?
No, no, Adebayo.
You can't. You'll get hurt!
You can't do this! Hey, what
makes you think you can do this?
Because I'm made for this shit.
Dude, God, damn it!
You're gonna get hurt!
Fuck.
Oh, what the fuck?
What the fuck?
Stay with me.
Help...
- ...Chris.
- I have to get you out of here.
- Go.
- And do what?
Leota!
Be with me, baby Jesus.
Okay.
Oh.
Oh.
- Goff?
- Yeah.
Activate Human Torpedo!
Oh, Jesus, I told her
not to use that one.
Listen to me.
I have no reason to hurt you.
Stop fighting. Follow me.
Holy cow.
It is.
Good. You found him.
I need three sets of hands
to teleport her away from here.
Come again?
See that switch?
I need you to flip that
while Locke and I
work these two stations
to teleport the cow
to our cavern in Maine.
Why the fuck would I help you?
Because I know
that once I tell you the truth,
like I did with Judomaster,
you'll join us.
Murn told us the truth already.
You've murdered innocent people
all over the country
by taking them over
in your dipshit quest for power.
We're not doing this for power.
We're doing it
because we took a vow.
Our kind traveled here
from a planet
that had become unlivable.
Your planet had
the habitat we needed,
water to drink,
and air to breathe.
Your food
couldn't sustain us, but...
...that's why we brought her.
The cow would help the last
of our people survive
for another hundred years.
But
not long after we arrived,
we realized the people of Earth
were on the exact
same trajectory
as our people had been,
ignoring science
in favor of populist leaders
who tell you that the floods
and the fires and the disease
are unrelated
to your own actions,
valuing profit over survival,
treating minor inconveniences
as assaults on your freedom.
And so, we made a vow
to do anything we could
to change your future.
We made a vow
to make the choices for you
that you were incapable
of making on your own,
to save your people
and your world,
no matter how many lives
it cost us.
Murn disagreed with our methods.
He didn't think we had the right
to impose our will.
But you're one of us,
Christopher Smith.
...I'll do
whatever you want me to do...
...for peace.
Thank you for feeding me
and talking to me
and showing me kindness.
I see who you are
and I see your character.
I tried telling you yesterday,
in the jar.
Peace sign.
Please, fulfill your calling.
Be the Peacemaker.
Join us in saving your planet.
What do you say?
Activate Human Torpedo.
What?
Sorry, Goff.
Oh, what the fuck?
Fucking disgusting!
Thank you.