Peacemaker (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Episode #1.7 - full transcript
It's a bitch song,
but it still rocks.
- So cool.
- Do this.
- Is that white power?
- Fuck white power.
It's the devil.
It means rock and roll forever,
and tongue kiss hot babes,
and smoke pot all day!
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Your old man's ready
for you two maggots.
All right, motherfuckers.
Let's go.
Bets right here. Let's go.
Let your money talk. Come on.
What you got? All right...
Keep going. Keep going.
Keep going, Keith...
No kicking, no biting,
no grabbing, no...
Ah, fuck that! No holds barred!
Hit it.
Come on. Let's go.
What do you want?
Don't be a faggot.
Get in there and hit him!
Go, one more shot!
Come on, Chris!
You hit like a girl!
...the
Glan Tai Bottling Plant Massacre.
Any leads on
where the Peacemaker might be?
Come on, Chris,
don't be a pussy!
Yeah.
- Whoa! Wait a second. Hey!
- What's goin' on?
Somethin' ain't right.
He's doing the worm.
- - SPECTATOR
3: Yeah, there's some kind of seizure.
Keith?
Keith.
Keith! Keith!
Keith!
We have a few leads.
We have every cop
in the country
out looking for him.
Keith!
Keith! Keith!
You dumb fuck.
You killed your brother!
You killed your brother,
you piece of shit!
You dumbfuck!
You killed your brother!
You killed him,
you dumbfuck!
You okay in there?
Dude?
Dude?
Dude?
Hey, you okay in there?
Fuck.
We gotta get the fuck
out of here. That guy on TV,
he's supposed to be the guy
watching our backs.
Every police station
in the country has one mandate
this morning.
Find and stop the Peacemaker
by whatever means necessary.
- You think he's a bird?
- A bird?
- Like Goff.
- Butterfly.
Dude, a butterfly
is a type of bird.
A butterfly's not a bird,
it's a fucking bug!
- Fucking Adebayo! She fucked me.
- What?
She probably planted
that diary in my trailer.
I knew I couldn't trust
these people.
Judomaster was supposed
to be there?
Fuck it.
Can't worry about it now.
- Move.
- All right.
I've got all the
Peacemaker helmets programmed in.
These ones
at the police station,
they must've been
confiscated yesterday.
But these ones...
that's gotta be Christopher.
That's him.
- The diary is fake?
- Of course it's a fake.
If I was gonna write a diary,
it wouldn't be a diary,
it'd be a fucking journal.
Well, I would read
anything you wrote, dude.
I bet you could do
some bomb poetry.
Dude, I thought you said
you didn't write a diary.
I didn't!
Did you see that thing?
It looked like it fell out
of my fucking vagina.
Do I look like the type of guy
to stay up all night
collaging Jupiters
and aliens and shit
to put on the front
of my fucking diary?
On first impressions,
I'd have said, "No."
But after getting to know you
a little bit, I gotta admit,
it's definitely something
I can see you doing.
You know what? Fine. Fuck it.
If I enjoyed it, I wouldn't let
people's judgments hold me back.
I'd collage all sorts of shit.
- Yeah, that's cool of you.
- Yeah. It is fucking cool of me.
I'd make a collage
of the three of us
fucking some chicks with
a bunch of dolphins around us
doing beer bongs in a Corvette.
I don't want a dolphin
watching me fuck.
- Where are you going?
- Vigilante and me might as well
get this done
before they find us.
What done?
- Kill this fucking cow.
- We are? Cool!
No.
Eagly.
Fuck! Goddammit!
Among the many
items found in the search
of Christopher Smith's home
was a diary
written by the suspect.
The diary links Smith
not only to the murder...
You did it, didn't you?
Waller sent you here
for this express purpose.
- Did what?
- Planted a diary
in Peacemaker's trailer.
Yes.
That's why Peacemaker
was chosen in the first place.
You're gonna lone-shooter
the poor bastard?
He has a history of instability
and conspiratorial beliefs.
Couple that
with violent outbursts,
- he was the perfect pawn.
- He was your fucking friend.
- Maybe you should back off.
- Oh yeah?
Yeah. Because you've been
fucking with me
- from the first day I got here!
- Well, maybe I could sense
- your interior asshole.
- My what?
Like, inside of all this
nice person stuff,
you're really
just a fucking asshole!
I thought you were bringing up
some weird medical condition.
Why would I bring up
a medical condition?
I don't know! Maybe because
you seem like the kind of bitch
who would pick on
someone's health issues
in the middle of an argument.
Well, I'm not the one who just
betrayed one of our own!
Oh, okay! So it's okay
to shoot an innocent man
begging for his life,
but this you have an issue with?
He is a fellow soldier!
Pretty random rule,
that the only lives that matter
are the lives of the ones
who fight beside us?
- Yes!
- Well...
that is an incredibly clever way
of shutting yourself off
from the rest
of the world's problems,
but for me, it doesn't work.
I'm not made for this shit.
I don't wanna be here no more.
So I'm leaving.
Well, then why the fuck
did you even come?
Because I lost my job,
and my mother
offered me this one!
Your mother?
Yes. But I didn't know
that I was gonna get...
caught up in Mars Attacks.
Holy fuck!
Your mother is Amanda Waller?
Hey. We need to get out of here.
She is Waller's daughter.
Yeah, I know. You think
I wouldn't do a background check
on anyone coming
to work with us?
I don't know how your weird
butterfly brain works.
- She also planted...
- Planted the diary. I figured.
She probably
shouldn't have done that.
And if she did,
she should've waited
until after we'd completed
the mission.
But that guy on TV,
he's our man on the inside,
which means he's compromised.
And since our weird
butterfly brains
inherit human memories,
he'll know we're here.
So drop whatever differences
you two are having,
pack up what you need,
and meet me in the lot.
- I fucking trusted you!
- Fuck.
What are you talking about?
I feel like...
Man, every time we drink,
you talk about TV shows.
- I'm sick of it.
- Bro...
How have you not seen
Boondock Saints? It's a classic.
Vigilante... Jesus! Man!
Dude scared
the shit out of me.
- It's a fucking leprechaun, man.
- A little dude.
- Oh my God. He's hilarious-looking.
- Oh, he's getting mad!
They're always after
me Lucky Charms!
I love it!
If
you have a message for Chris or Eagly,
please leave it at the tone.
Chris, I just
wanna make sure you're okay.
Let's try to figure
this thing out.
Call me.
Fuck!
Aren't you guys being a little
nonchalant about all this?
Economos, are you insinuating
there is a wrong time
and a right time to rock?
They're on 395 North,
about to pass the exit
to Contorinis Road.
I've got eyes.
Got it.
What the fuck was that?
- Dad?
- Oh, fuck.
What are you doing?
What I should've done long ago.
That's it, man. We gotta go.
Come on, get up.
Go, go, go!
There's no wrong time to rock!
Vij!
- No!
- No, no, no.
Peacemaker, we gotta go.
Get the fuck away from me!
Well...
Your son went into the woods.
Lead the way.
How the fuck did he find you?
What?
Fuck!
He's fast.
You left your keys in the car?
What? I was rushing.
Ignore it. Let's go.
I'm not kidding.
There was at least 20 girls
to one guy.
You're an asshole, man.
You're an asshole.
So, what do you wanna
do tonight?
You wanna go to the club or...
Kiai!
Open up! Police!
Hey! I know you're pissed, but...
Get down, get down,
get down, get down.
He's right down there.
He's running like a spaz.
Let's go.
Hit, my ass.
Breathing down my neck.
Fucking raccoons
are hardcore, man.
Wasn't exactly inconsistent with
what I imagined would happen
if a man just walked up
and grabbed a wild raccoon.
Let's go.
Open up! Police!
Police! Open up!
Leota, Harcourt, go now.
Do you hear me?
You can do it.
Police!
I'm proud to have had you
on my team.
Finish the job!
Kill the fucking cow!
How do you know about the cow?
Nothing you can do
will make me...
Now we really need to hurry.
We need to get the teleportation
equipment to the ranch.
Hey.
Ik Nobe Llok?
You could've just joined us.
You murdered him.
The alternative was what?
He was a warrior.
Without him, his outfit
will have no chance
of stopping us.
Two clowns in costumes
and a couple of rejects.
We need to go.
Fu... No.
How the fuck are we gonna
do this without him?
Ding-dong, bitches!
Oh, you gotta be fucking
kidding me right now.
That's your last
sucker punch, asshole.
- Rope a dope, dumbshit.
- What?
-You down now, motherfucker?
I think you got him.
He's right there.
Fuck me.
Fan out! Find him.
Wait.
I got something.
The door!
- Come on!
- Hey, dude, what are you doing?
Right, the dash!
Scoot.
Ow, ow! Hey, hey!
Ow! My asshole!
What the fuck, dude?
What the fuck's wrong
with your bird?
Bad Eagly, stop it.
There's no wrong time
to rock, motherfucker.
Now is.
This is the wrong time to rock.
Stop!
How did they find
you guys anyway?
He put a GPS tracking device
in Peacemaker's helmet.
What?
- Damn it.
- I didn't know!
- I thought they were expensive.
- Fuck!
Oh, I gotta pee so fucking bad.
No, Eagly, get back in the car.
John, can you get him
in the car?
Sure. I fucking babysit birds.
Eagly, please get in the car.
He's not listening.
Get back in the car
and crinkle a bag or something.
He'll think you have chips.
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Who the fuck
feeds their bird chips?
You want some chips, huh?
Yum, yum!
Fuck no.
- What are you doing?
- Shh! They're here.
Why the fuck
are your pants all the way down?
Well, I can't pee when clothes
are touching my butt.
Eagly!
- I'll kill you, motherfucker!
- You think so?
Forty years ago,
God challenged me
as he did Abraham.
But I was too weak to listen.
But not no more!
- Kill that piece of shit, Dragon!
- Yeah!
I knew you was unclean
when you were born!
And even more so
when you killed your brother.
That was you!
Do it, White Dragon! Do it!
I knew when you listened
to that devil music.
I knew when you shaved
your body like a woman.
I knew when you slept with
the whores of polluted blood!
And men!
And even more so
when you conspired
with the forces of Baphomet
against the United States
of America!
And now, boy,
I give your life
to Go...
There are gaps
in the armor, man.
You killed my brother!
You killed Keith!
And you're only right
about one thing,
I am a piece of shit!
I'm a piece of shit
for listening to you
for all those years!
I'm a piece of shit for not
killing you in your sleep!
You hit like a girl.
Well, go ahead and do it,
you fucking pussy.
I knew you couldn't do it,
you faggot.
'Cause I control you.
Whether or not I kill you,
you'll never be able
to get the fuck away from m...
Dude, this is a really weird
time to do your face exercises.
I mean, I guess you don't get
a totally sick, jacked face
like yours
without dedication, but...
He's crying, asshole.
Oh.
Tender, nice touching.
- Hey, dude, that's creepy.
- Okay.
No, no, nothing serious.
Just some... forms and stuff
I have to fill out
before I leave.
Yeah. I love you too.
Let me.
What was your job before this?
I ran a dog shelter.
- Oh, Jesus.
- Yeah.
We lost funding.
I think my mother saw
an opportunity
in my moment of weakness.
She always wanted me
to do this shit,
so she asked me, again,
to come work for her.
Said she needed
someone on the inside
of a group of people
she didn't trust.
- She doesn't trust anyone.
- Hell, I know.
Did you tell her about Murn?
I couldn't decide
if I was going to.
I guess it doesn't matter now.
I could tell
you were hiding something.
I could tell you could tell.
Shit made me agitated.
Anyways... like I said,
I'm not made for this shit.
I'm not supposed to be here.
That's why I was packing up.
I just wanna do
whatever job I need to
where telling right from wrong
ain't advanced calculus.
Well, that would be a shame.
Shame, why?
Because you're good at the job.
And because we need
every hand on deck
to try to go kill this cow.
How? It's impossible.
We couldn't even
get there in time.
Hey, John.
- Thank God you guys are here.
- What's going on?
Dr. Hurwitz
kindly stitched up Eagly,
and Vigilante's being
a total freak.
Dude, they saw us.
Peacemaker and I are wanted.
What other choice
do we have besides killing
this veterinarian, this nurse,
and this male nurse?
You can just say
two nurses, man.
If I just say "nurse," I think
people will imagine it as a woman.
He's standing right there.
We don't have to
imagine anything.
It must be weird
waking up every day
- and being a male nurse.
- You're a fucking busboy.
Oh, great! Now we definitely
have to kill them,
because you're giving away stuff
about my secret identity.
Do we really
have to kill these people?
No. We'll tie them up,
and by the time
the morning staff comes in,
- we'll be long gone.
- They've seen our faces.
If we can't stop
the butterflies today,
it won't matter.
Okay.
But we can't use duct tape.
That'll hurt their skin
- when they try to pull it off.
- Where are you going?
Just to call my wife,
tell her I'm on my way back.
So, you're compassionate
about tape
but not brutally
murdering people?
Yes.
God, please bring back
my best pal, Eagly.
And I never should've left him
in my father's garage
for four years
when I went to prison.
I should've found
somebody better
to take care of him.
Like an ugly girl
who was desperate for love,
who would've done anything
I wanted when I was locked up.
And, you know, I could've just
broke up with her
the moment I got out.
I probably wouldn't even
had to have sex with her, right?
Yeah, you know...
probably just once,
you know, to be nice.
And probably 'cause I was
getting out of prison,
I'd want to anyway, it wouldn't
have even been a chore.
But I was selfish.
And I was a bad friend to Eagly.
The only one besides Keith
that ever loved me for real.
Oh, fuck.
Please, God...
I'll do anything you want.
Just please, please...
keep Eagly alive.
Buddy?
You know,
he was so happy to see me today,
he wrapped his wings
around me to hug me.
- An eagle hugged you?
- Oh yeah.
Yeah, I call bullshit on that.
You don't want to believe
in miracles, that's on you.
Lee, where are you?
You said you were gonna
be here two hours ago.
Uh, babe, I just saw
an eagle hug a human.
With everything
going on, what?
- Yeah.
- Fuck.
Maybe... maybe it's a sign.
A sign of what?
Hey, we should get a move
on killing this cow.
What about your wife?
Well, she's upset.
But she gets it... sort of.
Cool.
Okay, how do we do this
without Murn?
Well, we have someone else
that we can trust to lead us.
- Me?
- No. Fuck, no.
The butterflies breathe our air
and drink our water,
but our food sources
don't keep them alive.
So they had to transport
a creature from their planet
across the galaxy.
And now we know
they keep it in the cavern
below the barn
on Coverdale ranch.
There, they milk
the beast for the amber fluid.
To stop the butterflies,
all we have to do
is kill the cow. Without it,
they won't be able
to stay alive for more
than a couple of weeks.
However, they almost certainly
know that we're on our way
to do that now. Which means
they'll do what they can
to move the cow out
before we get there.
How?
According to what Ads
and I overheard, teleportation.
I'm guessing
they can move it to
one of their other enclaves
around the country,
which means, to us,
they will be lost forever,
and all of our work
goes to waste.
Hopefully, we can make it there
before they make their move.
And then we go in there,
and we kick ass
like Butch Cassidy
and the Sundance Kid.
They get slaughtered
at the end of that film.
Bro, there's a freeze-frame
and we hear a bunch of bullets.
- That doesn't mean they died.
- Yes, it does.
I don't think so. I think
they jumped over those bullets
right after that freeze-frame.
Well, that's an exceedingly
optimistic interpretation.
Both things
are equally possible.
No, they're not.
Well, whichever one you believe
says a lot about your character.
Yeah, about how insane you are.
Economos,
I love this back-and-forth thing
we have going.
It's not as deep as, like,
what Peacemaker and I have,
but it's fucking cool.
Whatever the case... I'm in.
Hashtag MeToo.
I guess.
Yeah.
- Fuck, yeah.
- Let's do this shit.
No.
- I think you need to calm down.
- You can't come with us.
You sure
you don't need the help?
- No, you'd just die.
- But we are gonna have to
sequester your vehicle
out there.
Surprisingly nice people,
considering.
Except for the guy in the blue.
Yeah, that dude's
a fucking mess.
Here you go, buddy.
Chris...
I just wanted to say...
I know what I did.
And I'm sorry.
- I shouldn't have...
- Forget it. I don't give a fuck.
You said we were a team.
That's obviously not the case.
I just can't wait till
this is all over,
so I never have to see your
stupid, dumb face ever again.
There's no wrong time to rock.
Cleanliness
is next to godliness.
And God knows I'm close to Him.
Blood.
That's what you wanna see.
If you're not seeing any blood,
you're not scrubbing
hard enough.
Clean your toes.
Start at the bottom.
Work your way up.
Linger in the middle.
Keep going a little higher.
Swing the hips.
When you're drying, especially,
it's important
to swing the hips.
And we're finished now.
Thank you very much.
Thank you for attending.
but it still rocks.
- So cool.
- Do this.
- Is that white power?
- Fuck white power.
It's the devil.
It means rock and roll forever,
and tongue kiss hot babes,
and smoke pot all day!
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Your old man's ready
for you two maggots.
All right, motherfuckers.
Let's go.
Bets right here. Let's go.
Let your money talk. Come on.
What you got? All right...
Keep going. Keep going.
Keep going, Keith...
No kicking, no biting,
no grabbing, no...
Ah, fuck that! No holds barred!
Hit it.
Come on. Let's go.
What do you want?
Don't be a faggot.
Get in there and hit him!
Go, one more shot!
Come on, Chris!
You hit like a girl!
...the
Glan Tai Bottling Plant Massacre.
Any leads on
where the Peacemaker might be?
Come on, Chris,
don't be a pussy!
Yeah.
- Whoa! Wait a second. Hey!
- What's goin' on?
Somethin' ain't right.
He's doing the worm.
- - SPECTATOR
3: Yeah, there's some kind of seizure.
Keith?
Keith.
Keith! Keith!
Keith!
We have a few leads.
We have every cop
in the country
out looking for him.
Keith!
Keith! Keith!
You dumb fuck.
You killed your brother!
You killed your brother,
you piece of shit!
You dumbfuck!
You killed your brother!
You killed him,
you dumbfuck!
You okay in there?
Dude?
Dude?
Dude?
Hey, you okay in there?
Fuck.
We gotta get the fuck
out of here. That guy on TV,
he's supposed to be the guy
watching our backs.
Every police station
in the country has one mandate
this morning.
Find and stop the Peacemaker
by whatever means necessary.
- You think he's a bird?
- A bird?
- Like Goff.
- Butterfly.
Dude, a butterfly
is a type of bird.
A butterfly's not a bird,
it's a fucking bug!
- Fucking Adebayo! She fucked me.
- What?
She probably planted
that diary in my trailer.
I knew I couldn't trust
these people.
Judomaster was supposed
to be there?
Fuck it.
Can't worry about it now.
- Move.
- All right.
I've got all the
Peacemaker helmets programmed in.
These ones
at the police station,
they must've been
confiscated yesterday.
But these ones...
that's gotta be Christopher.
That's him.
- The diary is fake?
- Of course it's a fake.
If I was gonna write a diary,
it wouldn't be a diary,
it'd be a fucking journal.
Well, I would read
anything you wrote, dude.
I bet you could do
some bomb poetry.
Dude, I thought you said
you didn't write a diary.
I didn't!
Did you see that thing?
It looked like it fell out
of my fucking vagina.
Do I look like the type of guy
to stay up all night
collaging Jupiters
and aliens and shit
to put on the front
of my fucking diary?
On first impressions,
I'd have said, "No."
But after getting to know you
a little bit, I gotta admit,
it's definitely something
I can see you doing.
You know what? Fine. Fuck it.
If I enjoyed it, I wouldn't let
people's judgments hold me back.
I'd collage all sorts of shit.
- Yeah, that's cool of you.
- Yeah. It is fucking cool of me.
I'd make a collage
of the three of us
fucking some chicks with
a bunch of dolphins around us
doing beer bongs in a Corvette.
I don't want a dolphin
watching me fuck.
- Where are you going?
- Vigilante and me might as well
get this done
before they find us.
What done?
- Kill this fucking cow.
- We are? Cool!
No.
Eagly.
Fuck! Goddammit!
Among the many
items found in the search
of Christopher Smith's home
was a diary
written by the suspect.
The diary links Smith
not only to the murder...
You did it, didn't you?
Waller sent you here
for this express purpose.
- Did what?
- Planted a diary
in Peacemaker's trailer.
Yes.
That's why Peacemaker
was chosen in the first place.
You're gonna lone-shooter
the poor bastard?
He has a history of instability
and conspiratorial beliefs.
Couple that
with violent outbursts,
- he was the perfect pawn.
- He was your fucking friend.
- Maybe you should back off.
- Oh yeah?
Yeah. Because you've been
fucking with me
- from the first day I got here!
- Well, maybe I could sense
- your interior asshole.
- My what?
Like, inside of all this
nice person stuff,
you're really
just a fucking asshole!
I thought you were bringing up
some weird medical condition.
Why would I bring up
a medical condition?
I don't know! Maybe because
you seem like the kind of bitch
who would pick on
someone's health issues
in the middle of an argument.
Well, I'm not the one who just
betrayed one of our own!
Oh, okay! So it's okay
to shoot an innocent man
begging for his life,
but this you have an issue with?
He is a fellow soldier!
Pretty random rule,
that the only lives that matter
are the lives of the ones
who fight beside us?
- Yes!
- Well...
that is an incredibly clever way
of shutting yourself off
from the rest
of the world's problems,
but for me, it doesn't work.
I'm not made for this shit.
I don't wanna be here no more.
So I'm leaving.
Well, then why the fuck
did you even come?
Because I lost my job,
and my mother
offered me this one!
Your mother?
Yes. But I didn't know
that I was gonna get...
caught up in Mars Attacks.
Holy fuck!
Your mother is Amanda Waller?
Hey. We need to get out of here.
She is Waller's daughter.
Yeah, I know. You think
I wouldn't do a background check
on anyone coming
to work with us?
I don't know how your weird
butterfly brain works.
- She also planted...
- Planted the diary. I figured.
She probably
shouldn't have done that.
And if she did,
she should've waited
until after we'd completed
the mission.
But that guy on TV,
he's our man on the inside,
which means he's compromised.
And since our weird
butterfly brains
inherit human memories,
he'll know we're here.
So drop whatever differences
you two are having,
pack up what you need,
and meet me in the lot.
- I fucking trusted you!
- Fuck.
What are you talking about?
I feel like...
Man, every time we drink,
you talk about TV shows.
- I'm sick of it.
- Bro...
How have you not seen
Boondock Saints? It's a classic.
Vigilante... Jesus! Man!
Dude scared
the shit out of me.
- It's a fucking leprechaun, man.
- A little dude.
- Oh my God. He's hilarious-looking.
- Oh, he's getting mad!
They're always after
me Lucky Charms!
I love it!
If
you have a message for Chris or Eagly,
please leave it at the tone.
Chris, I just
wanna make sure you're okay.
Let's try to figure
this thing out.
Call me.
Fuck!
Aren't you guys being a little
nonchalant about all this?
Economos, are you insinuating
there is a wrong time
and a right time to rock?
They're on 395 North,
about to pass the exit
to Contorinis Road.
I've got eyes.
Got it.
What the fuck was that?
- Dad?
- Oh, fuck.
What are you doing?
What I should've done long ago.
That's it, man. We gotta go.
Come on, get up.
Go, go, go!
There's no wrong time to rock!
Vij!
- No!
- No, no, no.
Peacemaker, we gotta go.
Get the fuck away from me!
Well...
Your son went into the woods.
Lead the way.
How the fuck did he find you?
What?
Fuck!
He's fast.
You left your keys in the car?
What? I was rushing.
Ignore it. Let's go.
I'm not kidding.
There was at least 20 girls
to one guy.
You're an asshole, man.
You're an asshole.
So, what do you wanna
do tonight?
You wanna go to the club or...
Kiai!
Open up! Police!
Hey! I know you're pissed, but...
Get down, get down,
get down, get down.
He's right down there.
He's running like a spaz.
Let's go.
Hit, my ass.
Breathing down my neck.
Fucking raccoons
are hardcore, man.
Wasn't exactly inconsistent with
what I imagined would happen
if a man just walked up
and grabbed a wild raccoon.
Let's go.
Open up! Police!
Police! Open up!
Leota, Harcourt, go now.
Do you hear me?
You can do it.
Police!
I'm proud to have had you
on my team.
Finish the job!
Kill the fucking cow!
How do you know about the cow?
Nothing you can do
will make me...
Now we really need to hurry.
We need to get the teleportation
equipment to the ranch.
Hey.
Ik Nobe Llok?
You could've just joined us.
You murdered him.
The alternative was what?
He was a warrior.
Without him, his outfit
will have no chance
of stopping us.
Two clowns in costumes
and a couple of rejects.
We need to go.
Fu... No.
How the fuck are we gonna
do this without him?
Ding-dong, bitches!
Oh, you gotta be fucking
kidding me right now.
That's your last
sucker punch, asshole.
- Rope a dope, dumbshit.
- What?
-You down now, motherfucker?
I think you got him.
He's right there.
Fuck me.
Fan out! Find him.
Wait.
I got something.
The door!
- Come on!
- Hey, dude, what are you doing?
Right, the dash!
Scoot.
Ow, ow! Hey, hey!
Ow! My asshole!
What the fuck, dude?
What the fuck's wrong
with your bird?
Bad Eagly, stop it.
There's no wrong time
to rock, motherfucker.
Now is.
This is the wrong time to rock.
Stop!
How did they find
you guys anyway?
He put a GPS tracking device
in Peacemaker's helmet.
What?
- Damn it.
- I didn't know!
- I thought they were expensive.
- Fuck!
Oh, I gotta pee so fucking bad.
No, Eagly, get back in the car.
John, can you get him
in the car?
Sure. I fucking babysit birds.
Eagly, please get in the car.
He's not listening.
Get back in the car
and crinkle a bag or something.
He'll think you have chips.
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Who the fuck
feeds their bird chips?
You want some chips, huh?
Yum, yum!
Fuck no.
- What are you doing?
- Shh! They're here.
Why the fuck
are your pants all the way down?
Well, I can't pee when clothes
are touching my butt.
Eagly!
- I'll kill you, motherfucker!
- You think so?
Forty years ago,
God challenged me
as he did Abraham.
But I was too weak to listen.
But not no more!
- Kill that piece of shit, Dragon!
- Yeah!
I knew you was unclean
when you were born!
And even more so
when you killed your brother.
That was you!
Do it, White Dragon! Do it!
I knew when you listened
to that devil music.
I knew when you shaved
your body like a woman.
I knew when you slept with
the whores of polluted blood!
And men!
And even more so
when you conspired
with the forces of Baphomet
against the United States
of America!
And now, boy,
I give your life
to Go...
There are gaps
in the armor, man.
You killed my brother!
You killed Keith!
And you're only right
about one thing,
I am a piece of shit!
I'm a piece of shit
for listening to you
for all those years!
I'm a piece of shit for not
killing you in your sleep!
You hit like a girl.
Well, go ahead and do it,
you fucking pussy.
I knew you couldn't do it,
you faggot.
'Cause I control you.
Whether or not I kill you,
you'll never be able
to get the fuck away from m...
Dude, this is a really weird
time to do your face exercises.
I mean, I guess you don't get
a totally sick, jacked face
like yours
without dedication, but...
He's crying, asshole.
Oh.
Tender, nice touching.
- Hey, dude, that's creepy.
- Okay.
No, no, nothing serious.
Just some... forms and stuff
I have to fill out
before I leave.
Yeah. I love you too.
Let me.
What was your job before this?
I ran a dog shelter.
- Oh, Jesus.
- Yeah.
We lost funding.
I think my mother saw
an opportunity
in my moment of weakness.
She always wanted me
to do this shit,
so she asked me, again,
to come work for her.
Said she needed
someone on the inside
of a group of people
she didn't trust.
- She doesn't trust anyone.
- Hell, I know.
Did you tell her about Murn?
I couldn't decide
if I was going to.
I guess it doesn't matter now.
I could tell
you were hiding something.
I could tell you could tell.
Shit made me agitated.
Anyways... like I said,
I'm not made for this shit.
I'm not supposed to be here.
That's why I was packing up.
I just wanna do
whatever job I need to
where telling right from wrong
ain't advanced calculus.
Well, that would be a shame.
Shame, why?
Because you're good at the job.
And because we need
every hand on deck
to try to go kill this cow.
How? It's impossible.
We couldn't even
get there in time.
Hey, John.
- Thank God you guys are here.
- What's going on?
Dr. Hurwitz
kindly stitched up Eagly,
and Vigilante's being
a total freak.
Dude, they saw us.
Peacemaker and I are wanted.
What other choice
do we have besides killing
this veterinarian, this nurse,
and this male nurse?
You can just say
two nurses, man.
If I just say "nurse," I think
people will imagine it as a woman.
He's standing right there.
We don't have to
imagine anything.
It must be weird
waking up every day
- and being a male nurse.
- You're a fucking busboy.
Oh, great! Now we definitely
have to kill them,
because you're giving away stuff
about my secret identity.
Do we really
have to kill these people?
No. We'll tie them up,
and by the time
the morning staff comes in,
- we'll be long gone.
- They've seen our faces.
If we can't stop
the butterflies today,
it won't matter.
Okay.
But we can't use duct tape.
That'll hurt their skin
- when they try to pull it off.
- Where are you going?
Just to call my wife,
tell her I'm on my way back.
So, you're compassionate
about tape
but not brutally
murdering people?
Yes.
God, please bring back
my best pal, Eagly.
And I never should've left him
in my father's garage
for four years
when I went to prison.
I should've found
somebody better
to take care of him.
Like an ugly girl
who was desperate for love,
who would've done anything
I wanted when I was locked up.
And, you know, I could've just
broke up with her
the moment I got out.
I probably wouldn't even
had to have sex with her, right?
Yeah, you know...
probably just once,
you know, to be nice.
And probably 'cause I was
getting out of prison,
I'd want to anyway, it wouldn't
have even been a chore.
But I was selfish.
And I was a bad friend to Eagly.
The only one besides Keith
that ever loved me for real.
Oh, fuck.
Please, God...
I'll do anything you want.
Just please, please...
keep Eagly alive.
Buddy?
You know,
he was so happy to see me today,
he wrapped his wings
around me to hug me.
- An eagle hugged you?
- Oh yeah.
Yeah, I call bullshit on that.
You don't want to believe
in miracles, that's on you.
Lee, where are you?
You said you were gonna
be here two hours ago.
Uh, babe, I just saw
an eagle hug a human.
With everything
going on, what?
- Yeah.
- Fuck.
Maybe... maybe it's a sign.
A sign of what?
Hey, we should get a move
on killing this cow.
What about your wife?
Well, she's upset.
But she gets it... sort of.
Cool.
Okay, how do we do this
without Murn?
Well, we have someone else
that we can trust to lead us.
- Me?
- No. Fuck, no.
The butterflies breathe our air
and drink our water,
but our food sources
don't keep them alive.
So they had to transport
a creature from their planet
across the galaxy.
And now we know
they keep it in the cavern
below the barn
on Coverdale ranch.
There, they milk
the beast for the amber fluid.
To stop the butterflies,
all we have to do
is kill the cow. Without it,
they won't be able
to stay alive for more
than a couple of weeks.
However, they almost certainly
know that we're on our way
to do that now. Which means
they'll do what they can
to move the cow out
before we get there.
How?
According to what Ads
and I overheard, teleportation.
I'm guessing
they can move it to
one of their other enclaves
around the country,
which means, to us,
they will be lost forever,
and all of our work
goes to waste.
Hopefully, we can make it there
before they make their move.
And then we go in there,
and we kick ass
like Butch Cassidy
and the Sundance Kid.
They get slaughtered
at the end of that film.
Bro, there's a freeze-frame
and we hear a bunch of bullets.
- That doesn't mean they died.
- Yes, it does.
I don't think so. I think
they jumped over those bullets
right after that freeze-frame.
Well, that's an exceedingly
optimistic interpretation.
Both things
are equally possible.
No, they're not.
Well, whichever one you believe
says a lot about your character.
Yeah, about how insane you are.
Economos,
I love this back-and-forth thing
we have going.
It's not as deep as, like,
what Peacemaker and I have,
but it's fucking cool.
Whatever the case... I'm in.
Hashtag MeToo.
I guess.
Yeah.
- Fuck, yeah.
- Let's do this shit.
No.
- I think you need to calm down.
- You can't come with us.
You sure
you don't need the help?
- No, you'd just die.
- But we are gonna have to
sequester your vehicle
out there.
Surprisingly nice people,
considering.
Except for the guy in the blue.
Yeah, that dude's
a fucking mess.
Here you go, buddy.
Chris...
I just wanted to say...
I know what I did.
And I'm sorry.
- I shouldn't have...
- Forget it. I don't give a fuck.
You said we were a team.
That's obviously not the case.
I just can't wait till
this is all over,
so I never have to see your
stupid, dumb face ever again.
There's no wrong time to rock.
Cleanliness
is next to godliness.
And God knows I'm close to Him.
Blood.
That's what you wanna see.
If you're not seeing any blood,
you're not scrubbing
hard enough.
Clean your toes.
Start at the bottom.
Work your way up.
Linger in the middle.
Keep going a little higher.
Swing the hips.
When you're drying, especially,
it's important
to swing the hips.
And we're finished now.
Thank you very much.
Thank you for attending.