Party of Five (1994–2000): Season 2, Episode 15 - Benefactors - full transcript

[knock at door]

[Bailey]
Mr. Rosenthal,
you wanted to see me?

Yeah. Come on in,
Bailey.

Is there...
something wrong?

If I could just
find this file.

Is this about Hampshire State?

About my acceptance?

Yeah. And I have
to tell you Bailey--

Oh, God. Did they change
their minds?

Did they find out about
the C-minus in Physics?

Because I can explain that.



No. It's not about
your Physics grade.

Then, the C in Creative Writing

because I got really hung up
on haikus.

-No, no. Just listen.
-It was the B-minus--

Bailey!

A man named Garrett Williams
came by to see me last week.

He wants to set up funds
for grant seniors.

To make
a long story short,

he looked through the files

of all our seniors
already accepted into college,

and he picked you.

Picked me for what?

A college scholarship.

Ten thousand dollars a year.



For all four years.

Oh, my God.

That means...

That means that...

That I can go to college.

That I can actually pay for it.

Congratulations, Bailey.

You are our first ever
Garrett Williams scholar.

[exhaling]

Wow.

I, uh...

I never really
thought of myself
as a scholar.

Frankly, Bailey,
neither did I.

[theme song playing]

♪ Everybody wants to live ♪

♪ Like they wanna live ♪

♪ And everybody wants to love ♪

♪ Like they wanna love ♪

♪ Everybody wants to be ♪

♪ Closer to free ♪

♪ Closer to free ♪

[bell ringing]

[Sarah]
So who is this guy?
And where did he come from?

I have no idea.

Mr. Rosenthal might have
said something about it, but

to be honest,
I didn't hear a word he said
after $40,000.

But I'm going to
meet him now, tonight.

He wants to take me
to dinner.

God. That is so cool.
Dinner with
your benefactor.

You know, I bet he takes you
someplace great.

Oh, God. You think?

I don't do the fancy dining
thing very well.

What if I screw it up?

What if I dump a bowl of soup
on my lap or something,

and he wants to take
his money back?

Bailey, he's not
going to do that.

He's going to love you,

and he'll want to give you
$40,000 right away.

Wow. That's a lot of money.
I mean...

UC schools only cost,
like, $2000 a year.

Yeah.

So that leaves $8000
just to live on.

Uh...yeah.

This is me.
I have got to go.

Well, if I don't see you
before dinner,

it's big fork, main course,
little fork, salad.

And don't tuck your napkin
underneath your chin, okay?

God, Bailey, this is going to
change everything for you,

you know that?
Bye.

This whole breakfast-date idea
is pretty foreign to me.

I'm not exactly at my best
in the morning.

Uh, that's the point.

Everybody's nice
at 8 p.m.

You only find out what
someone's really like

at breakfast time.

If I had had the sense to have
a breakfast date with Wayne,

we'd never have gotten
as far as we did.

Okay, but this isn't, like,
the new thing with you?

I mean, we can still
have dinners, right?

Right. Of course.

Truth is, I wanted
to see you tonight,

but I have my women's group,
so I figured...

I could come by after.

It's going to go late.

I can come by late.

I'll be in bed.

I could come by
while you're in bed.

Probably better not.

Look, Charlie,

ninety percent of the pain
I've experienced as an adult

has been the direct result
of rushing things.

I really can't handle
making any more mistakes.

You don't know
this would be a mistake.

And you don't know
it wouldn't.

[Julia]
Damn it!

Damn it, damn it,
damn it.

Having fun over there?

You know, I promise you,
at no point in my life

am I going to need to know
how to program a computer.

It's really
not that hard,
Julia.

Well, it is for me.
I don't get it.

And if I don't start getting it
soon, I'm going to fail.

I mean, fail as in F.

Why don't you
let me help you?

No. I told you. I don't think
that's a good idea.
It might mess things up.

How is it going to
mess things up?

Well, what if you start
lording it over me?

What?

Because you could. I mean,
you could give in to that
little, tiny part of you

that just loves being better
at this than I am.

Wait a minute.
Are you serious?

You really think
I'm that competitive?

I'm not saying it's a character
flaw. I'm just saying--

I can't believe you.

I would never do that.

You see what I mean?

I mean, you're not even
helping me yet,

and already we're fighting.

All right, fine.
What do you want to do?
Fail?

No. No. No.
I'm going to find a tutor.

Someone who's not you.
Someone who I don't care about.

[slurping]

Did I hear you say
you need a tutor?

[chuckling]

So how are things going
with Ms. Schrader?

Fine.

Hand me those,
will you?

Thanks.

What's with
the sudden interest?

I'm just
a little curious.

There's this TLC rockumentary
on MTV today.

I kind of want to watch it.

Only I have
this math homework.

Claudia, you're not going to use
my relationship with Emily

to get out of
doing your homework.

What's the point of
you dating my teacher

if I can't get
something out of it?

End of conversation.
Hand me that menu.

Wow. French?

Must be a pretty special party
you're catering.

Yeah. Big TV producer's
birthday party.
Some big shot.

Way too busy to come
to the phone,

so I've had to organize
the entire thing

over a series of phone calls
with her assistant, Rosemary.

Wow.

I mean, I bet dealing
with people like that

just makes you never want to
be like that yourself.

I bet it just, you know,
makes you want to help people,

like, say, your...
your siblings.

Claudia, I swear to God,
one more try and I'll tell her
to go harder on you.

Man. Whose side
are you on?

Miller. Hi.

Uh, my pen exploded.

Oh.

Ha-ha.

Okay, so here's my problem.

I can't for the life of me
get my head around
this computer programming stuff.

That's a nice blouse.

Oh, thanks.

Anyways, here's the program
as I've written it.

It's supposed to alphabetize
a mailing list.

You were wearing it in
the yearbook picture
last year.

Was I?

Yeah.

Not in, you know,
your individual one,

but in one of the candids.

Oh.

Anyways, I don't know
what I did wrong,

but it doesn't run.

It was the one, remember,
on page 84.

You almost couldn't
tell it was you

because Alice North
with her big, old hair

is standing right
in front of you.

There's a much better one
on 123.

Oh.

Okay, let's, uh,
log you on

and pull this program up.

Uh, I need your password. -Oh, it's my initials.
-Oh.

-J...
-JGS.

You know
my middle initial?

G...for Gordon.

Uh, I don't know
if you ever noticed,

but those
three letters together

kind of
spell out "jugs."

[laughs wryly]

[Garrett]
So that's when I realized
I wasn't cut out

for working
for other people.

So I took the bull
by the horns,

and I started
my own company.

You may have seen
our product around.

Those little statues that say
"World's Greatest Dad,"

or "I Love You This Much."

You make those?
Those are everywhere.

I don't make them
anymore.

A couple of years ago,

one of the big guns
in the business came

and bought me out.

Now I get to do things,

like hunting people down

who could use
a little help,

like you, Bailey.

Yeah.

Um...

Now, I hope I'm not like
opening up a can of worms
here or anything,

but, um... Why me?

I mean, I'm not exactly
scholarship material.

Mr. Rosenthal told me
what happened to your folks.

Do you mind
talking about them?

No. No, not at all.

It's weird, usually people
assume that I don't want to,

but, actually,
I kind of like
thinking about them.

Were they warm people?
Friendly?

[Bailey] Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

They were always
hugging us and...

And telling us to bring
our friends over for dinner.

Or, at least, Dad was.

Everybody
pretty much loved him.

What about your mother?

Well...

People sort of had to prove
themselves to her.

You know, she was...

She had
a few more opinions.

What do you think

her opinion would
have been of me?

Well, she would probably
be very grateful to you

for helping me out.

Oh, yeah, sure,
but aside from that.

Uh, I mean, as a person.

Oh.

Um...

Well, I'm really
not sure.

Uh...

You know, she was someone
that you kind of had to
win over, you know?

Maybe if you gave her

one of those
"World's Greatest Mom" statues.

[laughing]

Well, I'm sure they'd
be very proud of you

for getting yourself
admitted to Hampshire.

I assume that you chose it
because of that music program.

Uh, no.

No, not me.

Tin ear.

Really?

Well, that
surprises me,

considering
your mother's talent.

How'd you know
about that?

It was in
your transcript.

It was?

That's weird.

Well, I see a waiter
bearing down on us,

so we'd better--

Have you any idea
what you'd like?

Thanks again, man.

Hey.

Hey. Nice party.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, I don't really
like parties.

Looked like you
were having fun.

Yeah?

Well, smoke and mirrors.

Well, at least you got
a lot of presents.

I did, didn't I?

Why don't you
open one up for me.

Me? Yeah.

We'll have a little
mini birthday party,

just the two of us.

[giggles nervously]

"Happy birthday,
from Rita."

Afternoon anchor.

Cute, but dim.

Oh...

Just what I needed,

another sterling key ring.

You want it?

No.

[chuckling]

Why should I have
your present?

Because...

you're a sweetheart.

You don't know that.

Yes, I do.

I didn't order a cake,

and you brought one, anyway.

Well...

every birthday girl
should have a cake.

Yeah, well, um...

I'm billing you
by the hour,

so I should probably
clock out.

Here's an idea.

Why don't you clock out...

but not leave.

Oh.

Um...

Wow.

I promise
it'll be fun.

Uh... Oh, yeah.

No doubt about that.

But, um,

I'm, uh...

I'm-- Um, I'm...

I...

Well, that's a first.

I'm usually very hard
to say no to.

Hmm.

[sighs]

[humming]

Hey.

Hey.

Courier brought that by
for you this morning.

What?

It's got a note
on it.

Kathleen, huh?

Yeah. She's, uh...

I did this job for her
last night.

[chuckling]

This catering job. Of course.
What else?

It's Armani.

You could sell it
and buy a car.

What is she thinking?

She's thinking you'll go to the
reception tonight and wear this.

Invitation
in the pocket.

Uh, not worth going into
the whole respect-for-my-privacy
thing, huh?

Save your breath.

I'm sure she meant it
as, like, a tip.

Sure. Some people
give 15 percent.

Other people
give evening wear.

Hey,
it's not like that.

Oh.

Yeah, hi.
Rosemary?

It's Charlie Sa--

Yes, I did and--

No, no, no.
Don't send over a tailor.

Listen, I'm calling to tell you
that I can't go tonight.

Yes, I know
how she gets.

I mean, I can imagine,
but, um, I'm busy.

No, I can't.

Okay. Right.

Bye.

Way to go, man. Hold out for jewelry.

[Sarah]
Did you guys
come here a lot?

Hardly ever,
really.

But last night,

when we were
at dinner,

I realized that
it's almost been two years.

And, I don't know,

it just kind of made me
want to come.

It's weird.

We spent a lot of time
talking about them.

I mean, he was
asking about them.

Well, a little curiosity's
normal.

I mean, it is
a pretty weird situation.

Yeah, but...

this wasn't, like,
usual,

you know, people being
fascinated

by how we get the bills paid
or who potty trains Owen.

This was...

This was different.

He wanted to know
about them.

Specifically.

Like, he asked if they
were happily married.

Hmm.
That's a little weird.

That's
what I'm saying.

This is it.

This is theirs.

It's nice here,
Bailey.

Yeah.

I wanted you to come.

Thanks.

[Sarah]
Wow. Those are pretty.

[squeals]

Ah.
Oh.

Nothing like
a good hard jog

to make a girl
feel pretty.

How's this hair?
Is this working for you?

I think
you look great.

-Oh, yeah, sure.
-I mean it.

You look very...athletic.

We could take a cab
back to your place.

No, thanks.

You sure?

Am I sure?

Yes, I'm sure.

I told you I was sure
yesterday.

Yeah, but--

But what?

Oh, you know,
we have talked about this.

I've told you how I feel
a few times.

But you keep pounding away
at this--

I'm not pounding.
I'm just...asking.

Why?

Why do you feel this need
to push things? Do you have a problem
with the way things are here?

No, I just...

It just seems
a little arbitrary.

Waiting.

Actually,
what's arbitrary

is you saying that something
needs to happen now,

when all along I have said
that I wanted to give this time.

Why is that so hard
for you to understand?

Little yellow ones--

Um, roses, I think.

You went.

I hate it when you go
without asking me.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
So it wasn't you?

How could it have been?
No one even told me
they were going.

[Julia]
Nope.

Think harder.

Maybe you did,
and you just forgot.

Bailey, I think I'd remember
leaving flowers for Mom.

Hey, Char.

You want to knock?

Were those your flowers
at the cemetery?

No.

Yellow ones
under Mom's name?

I said no.

I wonder--

Well, wonder elsewhere.

Okay, wait, so...

the glitch has to be
somewhere in here, right?

Yes, that's right.

You know, this would have been
easier to do at
the computer center.

It's all the same
if you have a printout.

Yeah, I guess.

Okay. So...

Oh. The problem has to be
right here with
the "go to" command.

Yes, that is right.

And...why?

Why? Um...

Hmm.

Oh! Well, obviously because
there's nothing for it to go to.

Congratulations.
You got it.

Miller,
what are you--

Uh, just--

Ahem. Stay here.

What is going on?
What is this?

You told them
we'd be here,
didn't you?

Who? Me?

Miller, what is
your problem?

[Miller]
I just...

Look, um... I have a boyfriend.

and we've been going out
for a long time.

And since you obviously--
I mean...

Clearly, there's an ulterior
motive here, so...

So I just don't think--

I mean, I really think that
I should just find
a different tutor.

Charlie, I'll have
to can Rosemary.

She said
you were busy.

I was.

But?

Like you said,
you're hard to say no to.

[laughing]

Drink with me.

I haven't been able
to rustle up

a decent conversation
all night.

Some of the 49ers are here,
as you can see.

Very exciting.

The mayor, naturally.

Yutz.

And a cluster of folks
who work for me.

Smile.

Oh...way too bright.

Much better.

Come here.

[vase shattering]

Whoa... Sorry.

Forget about it.

You should never
have anything...

you can't afford to lose.

[knock on door]

Yeah. I'm coming.

Well, hi, Bailey.

Hi.

It's kind of late,
but come on in.

I've, uh...
I've been thinking.

And I know this might sound
really weird, but...

But it's the only thing
that I could figure,

because this whole thing has
seemed really strange to me.

The scholarship,

and dinner...

and then today,

I figured something out.

I figured out that...

That your name
isn't Mr. Williams.

Hmm.

It's Jacob Gordon,
isn't it?

You're my mom's dad,
aren't you?

You're my grandfather.

So why did you lie? It was probably guilt.

Right, you probably felt
really bad about how
things went with Mom,

about walking out on her
when she was so little,

and you thought that I'd be
as mad at you as she was.

Now, I didn't expect I'd have
to go into any of this.

Or maybe you just...
you wanted to make
a good first impression.

You know, make me think
that you were a great guy

before telling me
that we're related.

Was that it?

Or were you ever
going to tell me?

I thought about it,

and I thought you'd be
better off not knowing.

Better off?

Hey.
I have no parents.

Okay? So no,
I wouldn't have been
better off.

Well, I guess this explains

why you haven't
come back before now.

You just thought
we'd all be better off.

I came here looking for my
daughter Diana, your mother.

[Jacob]
I went over to the city hall.
I asked them to look her up.

I expected to get a new address
or a new place of business,

and the woman there
came back and said,

"The person you're looking for
is deceased."

Well, I didn't tell her that
I was looking for my daughter,

so I shouldn't have expected her
to break it to me gently.

It-- It shouldn't
really hurt, you know,

losing something you never had
in the first place.

So you don't even know
what she looked like?

As an adult, I mean.

Julia looks like her. A lot.
You'll see when you meet her.

Oh, I'm not
going to do that.

What?

I'm not going
to meet Julia.

What do you mean?
She's my sister.

I know who she is.

So how could you
not want to meet her?

Oh, Bailey, I'm not
going to meet any of them.

I uh, I came here looking
for a grown daughter,

and that's all.

Because when you get old,
you want to make amends.

But I found
my daughter gone,

and I found five kids
instead.

Kids.

One of them's
only a baby.

[Jacob]
You all need things
from a grandfather

that I'm just not able
to give you. I can't handle five kids.

I can give you money
to help you in school,

but that's it.

Look--

You know, if you're going to go
on talking about meeting
the rest of them, don't.

That's not
going to happen.

[dog barking]

[children talking]

Big night, huh?

You and Ms. Schrader?

Yeah.
Um, I have got to...

You look nice.

I mean, I bet she really
appreciated it.

Yeah, listen, Claud, I don't
really feel like talking,

so I'm just...

Well, were you, like,
you know, nice to her?

What?

Well, I mean,
obviously, you stayed over,

so obviously, you...
You know, so...

Well, I just wanted to know
if you considered her needs.

What?

Were you generous?

What the hell do you know
about generous?

Well, I read Cosmo.

Well, you should stop.

Now go away.

For your information,
I'm not that great at Algebra,

so I think I have the right
to know

how Ms. Schrader's
going to react

when she sees the name Salinger
on my test.

Happy and fulfilled
or hostile and frustrated?

Well, you better
have cuddled.

[computer beeping]

I did everything you said.

Okay. Here,
just give it to me.

No, I'm not going to
learn anything by reading
over your shoulder.

Just let me do it,
and then I'll explain it to you,

and then it'll finally get done,
and it'll take a lot less time.

Okay, fine!
Go ahead. Save the day.

Prove how much
smarter you are.

News flash, Julia.

If I wanted to prove
how much smarter I was,

I'd just show you
all the A's I've gotten
in this class so far.

-I don't believe you.
-What?

That is exactly
what I told you you'd do.

What? I'm just trying
to help you.

Yeah, you just don't seem to be
able to do it without shoving
your superiority in my face.

All right! Fine.
You're right.

I'm the one
with the ego problem.

I'm the one
with all the hang-ups.

You were right
from the beginning.

I'm just way too competitive
for you.

So I think it's better that you
just do it by yourself.

Mm hmm.

Okay, here's what I do.

I call him,

I tell him I want to get
together for lunch or something.

And then I tell everyone else
to meet me there.

And then you know when
he sees us all together, when he sees Owen and when
he gets to look at Julia,

there's no way he'll be able
to walk away.

They're his family.

He'll want to talk
to them, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, maybe.

What if he doesn't,
Bailey?

I mean,
what if he shows up,

and he takes a look
at all of you,

and he still
doesn't want you?

Do you really want Claudia
to see her grandfather

walk away from her?

Well...

I guess...

I guess that's a chance
that I have to take,

because he's our family.

You know?
I mean, it's like...

we've been waiting
for him for two years.

You have no idea how much
he means to us, Sarah.

Actually, I do.

Yeah, of course you do.

So what's worse,

getting to know someone
and being disappointed,

or never knowing them
at all?

I don't know.

Okay, so here's the thing.

I have a computer test
this afternoon

on which I cannot afford
to do poorly.

And...God knows why,
but you are the only person

who can explain this stuff to me
in a language that I understand.

So what I want to do is...

I want to ask you
to tutor me again.

I don't think so.

Come on.
Miller, please?

I'll pay you.

Rather than looking at this
as a purchase agreement,

how about seeing it
as a barter?

What?
What are you saying?

[Miller]
I give you
what you want.

You give me
what I want.

What do you want?

A date.

No! No way! Uh-uh.

Fine.
Good luck on the test.

Okay, look,
we can have coffee.

[Miller]
No.

A date.
Dinner,
maybe some dancing--

Dancing?
Miller, come on.

You're not going to have fun.

Hey, that's my problem.

[exhaling]

Okay, how about this,

a date,
but only if I get an A?

How do I know
you won't throw it?

If I were willing to throw this,
I wouldn't be here, would I?

Good point.

Hope you're here as a friend
and not as a disgruntled parent.

No, no.
I'm here as, uh...

[horn honking]

Yeah, a friend.

In fact, um...

definitely as a friend.

Was there something weird
about the way you just said
"friend"?

Maybe.

Yeah.

See...

you're great,

but I think
that you and I--
I think that...

we have different
time-frames about all this,

which... Which is--
is okay,

but, I mean,
timing is everything,
right?

So what I was thinking is--
I was thinking that we should
just,

you know,
be friends.

So you just broke up
with me?

That's what that was?

Yeah.

No, you can't.

You don't have enough
information to break up with me.

I don't know, I kind of figured
that the information
that you gave me yesterday--

Oh, yesterday.

Oh, for God's sake.

Yesterday was
a single woman's
day from hell.

I mean, it started with this
insane phone call

from my ex-boyfriend
Wayne,

during which
many tears were shed.

Not mine, I might add.

And many vicious names
were called.

Those actually
were mine.

So, of course,

the idea of rushing
to commitment

or to bed
was unnerving.

But if you were
to ask me another time,

like now,

I'd say yes.

I'm sorry.
What just happened here?

Your problem is

that I said I had a problem
moving forward here,

and I'm saying
I don't actually
have that problem.

I am--
I am problem-free.

I am into this.

So unless you had
another problem...

Um...no.

Okay.

Yup, yup, yup, yup,
yup, yup, yup.

Yupper, yup,
yup, yup, yup.

Yup, yup. Yupper.

That's right?
You're sure?

Julia, I wrote the test.
I'm sure.

Are you sure
you wouldn't rather wait
till I finished grading this?

No. I'm pretty curious
about how I'm doing.

Well, no mistakes yet.

You're obviously
doing very well.

Yup, yup, yup,
yup, yup, yup, yupper.

No. Wait.
That isn't right.

Sure it is.
That program will run.

Oh, yeah, maybe it will,

but look at
all the extra steps I used.

It's not the most
efficient way of doing it.

No, but it still works.

Yeah, but I shouldn't get
a full credit.

The question clearly asked
for the best program.

I'm not going to take
points off.

No, you have to.
I wasn't efficient.
I wasn't precise.

You want me
to take points off?

How else
am I going to learn?

All right,
five points off.

That drops you down
to an A-minus.

Happy?

Ecstatic.

[sighing]

Yup, yup, yup...

You're early. I wasn't
expecting you till 10.

Yeah, I was hoping
that we could talk.

About?

Well, it's, um...

I'm kind of in
a weird situation right now.

Could you hang on
a sec?

I'm in the middle
of some work here,
Charlie,

and I hate to be a bitch,
but I've been going all day
and...

We both know how little sleep
I had last night.

So, um, I really don't have
the energy
for a heart-to-heart.

Is that okay?

Okay.

Um, so should I leave?

[sighs]

Tell you what,
give me 25 minutes
to wind up this business,

and I'll be all yours.

Pour yourself a drink.

Yeah, hi.

No, no,
it's nothing.

Oh, hi.

I just, uh, called down for
room service so that I--

What's the difference?
Come on in.

Uh, uh-uh.

I don't want to.

And I don't want
to take your money,

and I don't want to
get to know you.

I mean, I do...

but there are five of us,
and we all need you.

You-- You--
You can't imagine--

I mean, last year, Claudia
needed a grandfather so much

that she actually went out
and tried to find you.

And-- And Owen...

My God, Owen never
even knew our parents,

so of course he needs you.

Only you just want to know me,
so I don't know what to do.

Do I lie to them...
and never tell them about you?

Or do I tell them
that I met you

and that you're going to
send me to school,

but that you don't want
anything to do with them?

That is--
That is like
an impossible choice.

I can't do
either one of those things.

So what I'm going to do
is... is...

I'm going to forget
I ever met you.

You know...

Mom hardly ever
talked about you.

Hardly ever.

And when she did...

she would just say that you were
someone who made things worse.

And now I know
what she meant.

No! No! No! No! No! No!

The deal was an A.
I got an A-minus.

That's still an A.

No! It is not!
An A is an A.

An A-minus
is something else entirely.

Nonsense. An A-minus is still
one of the three members
the greater A family.

You're changing the rules.

You're welshing on a deal.

-I am not.
-Are too.

Miller, what is wrong with you?

You and I are never
going to have a relationship.

We don't even really get along.
So why do you want this?

Because, okay?

-Because what?
-Because!

Because I really
want to have a date.

A good one.

With you.

Have you never had
a date before? Is that it?

No, I have had
a date before.

One date...

with Gigi Sanchez.

I took her to see
The Lion King.

She was very moved
by the ending.

She seemed to enjoy
the pizza as well.

So it went well, then.

I'm not done.

Um, I saw her safely
to her house,

said goodnight,
thinking all was well.

Later, when I got home,
I happened to look
in the mirror.

Oh, no.

I had not one...

not two...

but three strings of cheese
hanging off my face.

-Cheese?
-From the pizza.

Yeah, I know. But how?

I don't know.

But there they were,

and they'd been there
all evening long.

And Gigi
had said nothing.

Oh. Wow.

I'm not stupid, Julia.

I know what everyone
thinks of me.

I use the bathrooms too.

I see all the Miller West jokes
they write up there.

I don't understand it.

Because I'm just
like my parents,

and they've always had
a lot of friends.

And I know...

I say a lot of stupid things
to you sometimes,

but...

just because...you know,
I kind of like you,

and...you're real pretty.

And I think...

if you decided to go
on a date with me,

you might find out
that I'm not so bad.

And then maybe you'd tell
your friends,

"Guess what.
He's kind of nice."

And then maybe the people
who write all those jokes,

you know, they'd hear about it.

And they'd stop me in the
hallway and they'd talk to me...

And they'd see
they were wrong about me.

You know.

Maybe they'd realize
that...I am different,

but... in a good way.

[indistinct conversation]

Claudia! Claudia. Sorry.

I'm glad I caught you.

I made Charlie
some chicken soup...

for that cold he has.

Any chance you could
bring it to him?

Um...sure.

Oh, great.

Thanks. Is he
better today?

No.

No, he's still...

bad.

Don't let him
pass it on to you.

Don't worry.

I doubt it's contagious.

For your cold.

I don't have a cold.

[Claudia]
Yeah, I know.

But, evidently,
Ms. Schrader thinks you do,

which is funny because you
seemed pretty healthy to me

when you came home from her
house at 8:30 this morning.

Damn.

You're darned right,
damn!

You weren't
at her house, were you?

You were cheating
on her.

Hey, I am not cheating on her.

It's not like
Emily and I are--

My personal life
is none of your business.

It is too my business.
Ms. Schrader is my teacher.

And she's really nice.

And now she's going to be
all upset when she
finds out about this,

not to mention what it'll do
to my report card.

She is not going to find out.

Just fix it, Charlie.

Whoever that other girl is,
dump her.

[Claudia]
That's pretty easy
for you.

And go back to being nice
to Ms. Schrader.

What are you looking at?

See, this is the one I like,
but Eli, this guy, the drummer,

he thinks he looks fat, so...

You sure you want to
look at these now?

Oh. I'm sorry. Yeah.

Which one did you say
you liked?

Because if there's something
else that you'd rather talk
about, I understand.

There's not
that much to say.

You know? It's over.

And I'm fine. Really.

I'm exactly where I was
four days ago.

I didn't have
the money then.

I was figuring
I'd just take out a loan

or get financial aid,

and I can still do that,
easy.

So...

So really,
I'm no worse off at all.

He has a crooked tooth.

Like this one.

Overlaps the one
next to it.

Mom had that.

And so does Charlie.

[indistinct conversation]

So how's the tickle?

Hi.

Is it gone?
Did the soup work?

Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
The soup was amazing.

Good. So, uh...

I was wondering what
you were doing tonight.

Family dinner night.

Oh. That's too bad,
Because I--

[Kathleen]
No, thanks. I see him.

Charlie.

I can't stay.
I have a car waiting.

Martin Rossmore
from the other night.

He wants you to do
his 40th anniversary.

I told him you were very hot,

so be sure to put him on hold
at least twice
during your conversation.

I quoted him a hundred a head.

I know, I know,
it's twice what you ask,

but it's what you're worth,
so don't argue, all right?

Call him tonight,
and then call me right after.

-Um...
-I don't have time for "ums."
I'm late for a meeting.

Nice to meet you.
Bye.

No, really, the pleasure
was all mine.

What was that?

She's...

this woman...

that, um...

I catered.

The birthday lady?

Right.

Ha-ha. Yes.

Oh, scary.

[laughs]

Right.
Anyway, um...

you were saying...

Oh, right. Okay.

So here's
what I'm thinking.

After your family dinner,
ice cream, hot fudge

and a movie.

And if you wanted,
you could bring a toothbrush.

A toothbrush?

Well, yeah.

You won't necessarily
need it,

but you might if you...wanted
to stay over or something.

[sighing]

I know.
Go figure.

[Julia]
I didn't realize you're
such a good basketball player.

[Miller]
Ah, it's easy. It's all
angles and vectors.

Mechanical physics.

I never thought
of it that way.

Everything is
physics, Julia.

Not everything.

Yeah, everything.

The light reflecting
off those windows,

optical physics. [siren]

How that siren
is barely audible?

Acoustical physics.

The way that water's
going to splash
when a car drives through it,

again, mechanical physics.

What about falling in love?
That's not physics.

It can perhaps be rooted
in thermodynamics.

The exchange of heat
between matter.

Or maybe
it's chemistry.

No. That's just a myth
perpetuated by the chemists.

[laughs]

Um...

I should just cut
down this street here.

Oh.

I've got to get
to my family's restaurant.

I'm meeting up
with them. Well...thanks.

You know what?
This was fun.

Well, good.
I'm pleased.

So...

You can give me
a little kiss if you want.

Oh, that's all right.

No. Really,
I won't mind.

That's okay, Julia. Okay.

I think a first real kiss
should mean something...

to both people.

You're really romantic,
Miller. You know that?

Yeah, I do.

Bye.

Hey. Sorry I'm late.

It's okay.
We haven't even ordered.

Yeah. What's with the service
in this place?

[Bailey]
What's everybody having?

I've eaten already.

[Charlie]
I can't decide.

[Claudia]
Why don't you order
two things, Charlie,

eat them both,
but not tell them.

[Charlie]
Shut up, Claudia.

Uh, I hope
you'll excuse me.

I wonder if, um...

I could introduce myself.

My name is Jacob Gordon.

I'm...

I'm your grandfather. [theme song playing]