Party Down (2009–2010): Season 3, Episode 2 - Episode #3.2 - full transcript
So, uh, the house
appears empty, right?
Jack thinks you're out of town.
- Suspecting nothing, he enters.
- Mm-hmm.
Right? And then...
Boom.
People, right? Surprise, right?
And then we pull...
- Happy birthday...
- Forty-fifth.
- Forty-fifth, Jack, yes?
- Jack, uh-huh.
And then we press play...
- This one, right?
- Okay.
And that is our cue to circulate
with our custom, made-to-order
birthday cake bites.
We have a new
chef, cutting-edge.
You're gonna love it.
Uh, speaking of circulating,
does this need to be here?
Y-yes. It's the gift.
- Oh.
- It's a karaoke machine.
Karaoke. In your house?
- Hmm.
- That's allowed?
I love karaoke.
Oh, I'm not a fan,
which is ironic,
'cause now Jack will want
to do karaoke parties
all the time.
Ah...
I'll have to give him my card.
Okay. Guests
should arrive soon.
Oh, if you have any questions,
I'm just putting
these in my office.
And if staff could
stick to party areas.
- Thank you.
- Uh, clients' private,
non-party spaces are
strictly off-limits, okay?
Party Down policy number one.
Top of the list. Henry.
- Yep.
- Off-limits.
Right.
Jesus.
Oh, Henry.
Congrats on finalizing
the divorce.
Bet you're gonna party tonight.
Yeah, six-packs and YouTubes.
Fall asleep in a chair.
Well, you must be
happy that they changed
the blatantly
misandristic alimony laws.
Mm, actually, I still pay.
She makes less than I do, so...
Less than a teacher?
What does she do?
Is she a shoeshine
at the bus station?
Wait a minute. You
have to pay alimony?
With what? You're,
like, a teacher, right?
Yes, that is why
I am moonlighting.
Oh, moonlighting.
Yes, man,
I haven't done that
since they canceled Burning Man.
So if you dropped
your tab at moonrise,
you're due for a
Molly, like, now.
How's your headspace?
Moonlighting as in
working a side job
for extra money.
That's a term?
But it's day.
Oh, actually, you
go with the grain.
- The what?
- The limes?
- I got this. Watch.
- Oh.
See, this is why I
am back catering.
I got a callback for a CW show.
Character works in a club,
so I thought I'd keep
a foot in food service
for my sense memory.
See, I go in immersed in
my character's lived truth,
dude, I am gonna stand out.
As one of the few actors in LA
who's ever worked
in food service.
- You get it.
- Okay. All right, all right.
Doing limes.
And we are T-minus 15 minutes.
Dude, have you seen this house?
There is a bathroom upstairs
that is the most
amazing bathroom
I have ever seen in my life.
There is a drinking
fountain in the toilet.
- The mirrors are everywhere...
- Okay.
Everybody, my God, okay?
Clients' private,
non-party spaces are...
what?
Give it to me.
Sackson, I know you
know this policy.
I know you know this policy
'cause I told you about
this policy a million times.
What is number one?
- Pee?
- No.
Stay out. Stay
out is the policy.
Stay out is the policy.
Anyway, uh, as you may know,
Chef Hans has been fired.
- Chef Hans?
- Yeah.
That guy was cool.
Well, he was stealing booze.
Wait, you can get
fired for that?
It's actually pretty standard.
He was stealing
a lot of booze.
And also, he said he was
cool and cutting-edge,
and he wasn't, you know,
and I want this party
to be cutting-edge.
Ah, right on cue!
Ladies and gentlemen, everybody,
this is our new chef, Lucy Dang,
with our made-to-order
custom cake bites, huh?
Wow, look at those.
Those are cool.
Hell yeah. It's cake
time with Sacks.
Mmm...
What's in these?
Basic sheet cake
done in an on-sale,
store-bought style
with a center of
ripened Camembert.
- W-w-wait, what?
- Mm.
You get an innocent,
childlike sweetness up front,
followed by an earthy
whiff of decay.
Why?
It's a rumination on mortality.
Rumination on mortality?
It-it's cake.
Birthday cake.
What?
You said in the interview,
"I want 'the new foods,
cutting-edge d'oeuvres.'"
Yes, yes, like... Y-you
know, like new shapes.
Look, this is an
important event for me
business-wise, and I'd rather
the guests not be
thinking of death.
Not just death.
It's more, "Life is finite.
How have I used this time?"
I am feeling like I wish
I had said, "I love
you," to my nana more.
- Yes!
- No. Throw them out.
Throw them out now, and
then make new ones, okay?
You have time. I will stall.
Okay, so not cutting-edge?
You just want basic-ass,
boring shit for normies?
No, cutting-edge but in
the form of shapes...
and stuff.
Okay?
I see how it is.
Lucy.
So, uh, moving on, uh,
as I said, clients'
private, non-party spaces...
Oh, fu...
So it's time once again
to hear from our
investor, Constance,
who, as you know, insists
on us doing this...
...bullshit.
Shit.
- Hey!
- No, I asked
for my egg under the
hollandaise sauce
and the bacon on top!
Uh, you know, Constance,
if you're busy,
we could do this another time.
No, no, no, Ron,
no. No, no, no.
And as your partner, I
am always there for you.
M-more like investor.
I'm sorry I
can't be there in person,
but I am with you on-screen.
Let's
start with our look within.
Everybody close your eyes.
We want to bring our hands...
She's out
of town. Relax.
and
focus on the energy.
- Mm, baby!
- What the fuck?
Whoa-ho, and
that is Jack Botty.
Oh, whoa. Okay, shit.
Uh...
what's going on?
...always has 20...
Ron Donald, Party Down Catering,
and we are here for...
Um, I cannot say.
Shit. Your surprise 45th.
It's today. I got
an invitation.
Jesus Christ. Why didn't
you say something?
Well, because you said
Evie was out of town,
- so I assumed it was canceled.
- Fuck.
Uh, she's in the
living room, um,
and guests are
coming, like, now.
Oh, that's great. Okay, cool.
Uh, great!
Listen, I'm gonna
go around the f...
I'm gonna go around
the front, okay?
I'm gonna come in
the front door.
I'm gonna be surprised.
And we're gonna
have a great party.
Okay.
I'm gonna ask you to
keep this under your hat,
though, okay?
What this is,
you never saw me.
You never saw this.
No, no, no, you
can't come with me.
Just
go hide somewhere.
- Come in later.
- Okay.
Okay, you heard the
man. You never saw him.
Like, now or ever?
Surprise!
Oh, man.
You got it. Good one.
Oh, man!
You should've seen
the look on his face.
He really looked
surprised.
I... o-o-o-okay, okay,
I-I-I know that thing
that happened earlier
was a little bit awkward.
I think it's at
least medium awkward.
Look, look, this
is a big opportunity.
You see how classy
this place is,
these classy people?
I want more of that.
So can we just do our jobs?
And don't rock the boat, okay?
That-that song was
our cue, so let's go.
Come on, let's go. Yeah.
- Yay.
- Great, let's do it.
Lucy Dang.
Great. Thank...
Yeah, cut the cucumber.
That's the job. That's the job.
and on
the count of three,
we will open our eyes,
fully cleansed
for a great event.
One, two, three.
Hey, kid.
You okay?
Yeah, I mean, I...
guess I'm just wrestling
with a slight dilemma.
Ooh. Dilemma, huh?
Have you ever had the
chance to do something big,
like, change-your-life big,
but it's against the rules?
Mm, actually, Jiminy...
Sackson.
let me
tell you a story.
It's 1983, and the
talk of the town
is the title sequence
for the movie Hardbodies.
Everybody wants in.
I couldn't even get an audition.
So I dressed up like a waitress,
I snuck into the
producer's country club,
and I surprised him at
lunch with my résumé,
my headshot, and extra charm.
And I got that audition.
So chase your dreams, Sanklin,
even if you have to
break a few rules.
- Did you get the part?
- No, I did not.
I lost it to Deb Hamming.
It happened a lot.
She looked just like me,
but she had slightly
bigger boobs.
But I was not
gonna let the rules
get between me and my dream.
What rules, exactly?
The day of the shoot,
Nels, my drug dealer, and I
dressed up as cops,
and we arrested Deb
for possession of
one kilo of cocaine
that Nels had
planted in her car.
Then we handcuffed
her to a radiator
in a warehouse downtown
while I took her ID
and sashayed right onto the set.
Isn't that, like, a crime?
I don't know. I'm not a lawyer.
But what are laws anyway
but basically rules?
Well, you made it
in the movie, right?
No, no, I had never worn a pair
of roller skates in my life.
So take one, I skated right
off the end of a pier.
Anyway, what do you wanna do?
Okay, so Ron said we have to
stay out of private spaces,
but there's a bathroom here
with mirrors on either side,
and I was like,
if I did the Chumble to
the new Mo Dip single
and you could see
it in both mirrors,
like, this could be
game-changing for me.
What is your career?
- Content.
- What?
Like, web videos and stuff.
Computer things
with your telephone?
Yeah.
Well, then maybe you
should stick to the rules.
What happened to
"chase that dream"?
Well, I thought you were
talking about a real dream,
like actor or something.
Here's my story.
I've been fired from
every job I ever had.
Is that the whole story?
I'm not a storyteller.
My medium is food.
The point is...
a true artist...
is breaking the
rules all the time.
Whoa, you're kidding.
Hey, what's up? How you doing?
♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪
Evie, relax. It's going great.
It's just a big step.
I've never thrown
him a party before.
He's a parties guy. He's
particular about parties.
- This is what I need.
- Okay.
- Thank you very much.
- My pleasure.
You know
who he looks like?
- Who?
- "Are we having fun yet?"
You remember that?
It is you.
We met last year.
- Evie.
- Right. Henry.
I didn't know you
were a bartender.
Teacher, but I got divorced
and needed a side hustle,
so it was either
this or escort work.
I could see you being popular
with neglected Bel
Air housewives.
I get attached easily.
This is less messy emotionally.
Well, I'm sorry to hear
it. That sounds rough.
I guess we finally know the
answer to the question...
- Hmm.
- "Are we having fun yet?"
The answer's no.
- Too soon?
- No, the opposite.
That me hasn't
existed for years.
So you don't act anymore at all?
Only when I say, "My pleasure,"
as I hand people drinks.
That was an act?
It wasn't your pleasure?
- I felt nothing.
- Hmm.
Shame you quit. You're good.
Can you believe it?
Karaoke in your own house.
It's... allowed.
Oh, the party's
going great, huh?
Yeah. Do you think we're gonna
see the cake bite things or...
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, coming up any minute.
- ...any of the...
- Yep.
Hey, my little
secret party planner.
- Hi, baby.
- Hey!
Mwah!
Tell me, were you
really surprised?
Yeah, the karaoke
machine's a beast.
- You heard it?
- Yeah, yeah.
It's incredible.
- The sound quality's amazing.
- Good.
- Let's get you on the mic.
- No.
- No? No?
- No.
- Come on.
- No.
Not my jam.
It's not my thing, honey.
One song, baby.
Come on.
Remember what we're
not gonna rock.
Your body?
The boat, Henry,
the boat.
Happy birthday, Jack!
John over there.
- Hey.
- Oh! Thanks, Lyle.
Yeah, hey, it's a bummer
you got canceled, man.
It'd have been fun having
you in the extended U.
Yeah. Only slightly canceled.
Just here researching a role.
♪ Happy birthday, Jack Botty ♪
Lydia Dunfree.
Uh, did I miss the surprise?
Yeah, it was the first
thing that happened.
Oh, rats.
You know, I hate
being surprised,
but I love seeing someone
else get surprised.
It's like when you see
someone get eaten by a shark
and you're like, "Yay, not me."
Anyway, Escapade
loved working with you
on Infinity Sticks and was
thrilled to be invited,
but she didn't feel well,
so she asked her manager
to deliver her best wishes
and this gift basket.
- It's a really good one.
- Oh, thank you so much.
- Nice. Thank you!
- Thank you for coming.
Did you guys... I want... hmm.
Hey, uh, that's a
bummer Escapade's sick.
She's not.
Sick in the head, maybe.
- Oof.
- I don't know.
Since her big breakthrough,
she's just got gotten so moody.
Oh.
Well, probably just
adolescent girl brain.
- Yeah.
- They're crazy at this age.
Right?
Isn't she, like, 23?
Yes. I don't know
what's going on.
I mean, this has been her dream
ever since she was little.
- And now she's gone all weird.
- Hmm.
I'm afraid
she's gonna fire me.
No. After all
you've done? No way.
The other day on her phone,
I saw a missed
call from Ted Fine.
Ooh.
Arguably the top
manager in the business.
Yeah.
I mean, he's a seasoned veteran.
If he gets his claws
into her, I'm fucked.
Oof.
- How are you?
- Oh...
Oh, I forgot. Canceled.
You're a waiter again.
Yeah, uh, just to do
a little sense memory
for my callback for
the Lost Boys reboot.
Oh, must be so fun to be back
slinging d'oeuvres
with the old gang.
Is it?
Mm-mm. No. No, it sucks.
Aw.
Another spoon broke, Ron.
This cheap shit
just doesn't cut it.
- What's that?
- Oh, new business cards.
You always
gotta be prepared.
Jack loves parties.
Can you imagine,
me hanging out with Jack Botty,
Liam Neeson, Don Cheadle?
No. Why is it big?
Why is it... That's the
style now, you know?
And I got a great deal on these.
Two thousand for two grand.
You paid two grand for those?
Yeah. Can you believe that?
No.
Uh, Ron,
do you sleep in the van?
What? No.
W-why do you ask that?
There's a little bed in there.
Yes, for... power naps.
I take power naps.
I...
I don't live in a van, okay?
I'm a business owner.
You smell like a guy
who lives in a van.
Thanks!
Mm. The stinkier, the
better, right?
Yeah, I've always been a foodie.
You know, they say I have
an adventuresome palate.
Oh, you're totally
ignoring Ron...
and fitting right in.
Ron is such a fuckin'
normie, right?
Mmm.
No, I get it. I
think it's good.
Oh, my God.
If you think it's
good, you don't get it.
Wait, I'm not
supposed to like it?
Everyone is so stuck
on this idea of food being good,
this whole taste
and flavor bullshit.
What you're supposed
to do is experience it,
engage with it, grapple with it,
wrestle with it.
Food is art.
It should change the
way you think and feel.
Like Rilke's poem... it says,
"You must change your life."
Mm-hmm.
Totally. No, I'm-I'm
getting that.
You don't get it.
Nope.
Oh, hey, Henry. Uh-uh,
all good at the bar?
Yeah. So far, pretty good.
Yeah, good, good, good,
yeah. Great. All right.
- Thanks, man.
- Yeah.
Henry,
can I ask you a question?
Sure.
Just come here.
Fuck. Come here.
Do I smell?
Uh, what do you mean, Ron?
You know I had a hard time
during lockdown, right?
I mean, it was a
year with no events.
- Yeah.
- Right?
I was living in the van...
You lived in the van?
I took any gig.
Secret weddings,
illegal poker tournaments,
goth raves,
unpermitted underground brises,
anything to keep
Party Down afloat.
I got COVID four times.
Ron, holy shit.
Which is fine. You know me.
I'm all about the
grind.
Right? But I do now
have no sense of smell.
- What?
- Which is fine.
I mean, at this
point in my life,
I've pretty much smelled it all.
But I can't blow this.
Fancy people will not hire
you for their fancy parties
if you smell.
So I'm asking you
as your boss...
and as your friend...
do I...
smell?
Ah, look at that.
- Honestly, um...
- Mm?
Kind of, yeah.
Sorry.
[singer] ♪ Hey... ♪
What in the hell, Sackson?
What did I tell
you? You can't...
What is this... circle?
Ron, I'm... uh, I'm sorry.
- I, uh... I just...
- You just what?
I mean, I went over
this a thousand times.
Non-party spaces
off-limits! My God!
This is such an RDD, I
can't even tell you...
- A what?
- An RD... get...
Uh, what are you
still doing here?
- Get out! Pack it up!
- I'm sorry. I got confused.
How? I mean, the policy's
crystal clear, Sackson!
I don't know.
Keep out of clients'
non-party spaces!
Oh, my God.
Appreciate
it. Thank you.
Yeah.
Ah, what's Tandy
Lehman doing here?
Oh, she was Lady Snakes in
the last Max America movie.
Hi.
I was hiding in a bush.
Okay.
Jack! Happy birthday!
Hi, Evie!
Whoa.
I'd heard she was
pretty wild, but...
You know, we just caught her
fooling around with
Jack before the party.
Gosh. I don't get it.
I mean, she's had
this nice career
for as long as I can remember.
I think that's part of it.
You know, the whole
child actor thing.
What thing?
Well, you know how
some child actors
end up kind of messed up?
That's a thing?
Since when?
Since whenever. You
know, like Judy Garland?
Judy Garland?
But she always seemed so happy,
singing and dancing around.
Oh, yeah,
that was all an act.
She had major issues.
So a kid gets to live
out their actual dream
and that screws them up?
- How?
- I don't know, but it does.
I mean, the whole reason
Haley Joel Osment grew a beard
is 'cause he shot himself in
the face with a pellet gun,
high on K, trying
to rob a Chipotle.
Wait, I saw Haley
last month up close.
His face was normal.
Okay, well, a different
former child actor.
But still...
it's a thing.
Scuse me!
Coming through.
Oop! Where's the bathroom?
Oh.
Uh, how...
I...
Oh, uh...
it's, uh... it's
off-limits back there.
Did you take a shower in there?
What?
No.
Oh, God.
Henry, how about now?
The smell.
Wow. Uh, very nice, actually.
Yeah, okay.
We're back on track.
Now I just wait for the right
moment and I give him my...
card.
- Why is it big like that?
- What? It's fine.
It's fine.
What, did he take a
shower or something?
He might have, yeah.
I don't know
what you're worried about.
Clearly, he loves it.
No, I'm worried about my sanity
with the thing in the house.
Well, make your peace with it,
'cause Ann told me Nora said
Jack asked if she
knew your ring size.
- Oh, whoa.
- Mm-hmm.
As long as he waits until I get
my green light on Human Tree 2.
- Oh, God.
- Can I get you anything?
She's had enough.
- I will have...
- These will do, actually.
Thank you. If Jack
does propose...
I got
two words for you:
"Belize wedding."
Shit. He's gonna propose?
What do you think we should do?
Whatever. It's like, once you
get to that level of rich,
they get into these, like,
dramas and stuff like it's fun.
They like it.
Oh, my God.
What are you doing?
Hey.
Uh...
Sorry, I-I, um... this was...
I-I was going by and
I saw this poster.
I was like, "What?"
I actually auditioned
for A Far Cry,so...
You saw how?
I-I was... I... it
was... It was, like,
a reflection over there.
I literally heard your boss
tell everyone not to go in here.
Yeah, the clients' private...
Yeah, that's what this is.
And so I was...
Why am I in here?
I'm-I'm just gonna... uh, no.
You don't... that's not for you.
- What the hell's this?
- What is that?
What is that?
Huh.
I'm...
- We, uh...
- Right.
Jack and Tandy.
Jack's having an affair.
Or something that looks like it.
- I...
- It's unbelievable.
Again.
Again?
I am such an idiot.
It's...
Sorry.
And you just tell me
like a normal person.
I didn't want to
fuck up the party.
You love parties that much?
No, my boss is in a
tough spot with his company
and he's really hoping
to do business with Jack,
so my plan was, hide the
note, Ron does his business,
and then after the
party, you get the note.
Maybe not
the worst plan in the world.
I mean, I was a
little proud of it.
- Maybe a good plan.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
- Anyway, I'm really sorry.
It's no big deal.
Your boyfriend's affair?
Oh, I thought you meant the
private space policy thing.
Oh, no. We break
that all the time.
I'm on two of Jack's
Percocet right now.
- Mm.
- Yeah. You want one?
Uh-huh.
♪ Everybody have fun tonight ♪
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
[Pam] ♪ Everybody
Have fun tonight... ♪
Oh, sure makes for
a fun night, right?
Oh, it's a great
gift. Great gift.
- You like karaoke?
- Oh, I love it.
You know, I've-I've
never tried it
in a home setting, you know?
Uh, way cooler, I imagine.
- It's similar, actually.
- Oh.
You know what I was
thinking would be cool
is to do, like, a
theme thing, you know,
like Rat Pack Night
or Disco Night.
Yeah, or-or-or-or-or
Rock and Roll Night
or, uh...
uh, you know, other nights.
Probably drive
Evie crazy, but...
Hey, who wears the
pants, am I right?
I mean, you're Max America.
You make a solid point.
♪ Everyone ♪
Beautiful!
You know, maybe we should, uh,
get eyeballs on a calendar,
you know, pencil in some dates?
I can handle all the
boring details and...
What? What? What?
You use Tipo Fico?
Do I what?
It's Tom Ford's
small-batch conditioner.
Yeah, I got a bottle at the,
uh, Locarno Film Festival
in a swag bag.
I just... I've never met
anyone who used it before.
No, I do not wear it, so...
Oh.
I see what you're getting.
I'm getting that as well.
I feel like it's wafting
in from over here.
I think it's that guy.
Shit, I'm buzzing.
Oh, I gotta take care of this.
But I'll come back with
the calendar, okay?
Yes? Oh, finally. Thank God.
So I guess I just
wanted to get a sense...
what's your take on the
whole child actor thing?
Child actor thing?
You know, like Judy Garland.
- Who?
- Excuse me.
Custom, made-to-order cake bite?
No, thanks.
Actually, um, apparently,
some child actors can
end up with issues.
And since my daughter
is a former child actor,
I was just wondering
if you felt like...
Oh, I don't have any
issues. I'm fine.
Oh.
Great.
Okay.
I mean... I don't know.
Maybe?
But you said no.
But maybe I'm actually
pretty fucked up
and I've been a terrible person.
Oh.
Probably not that bad, right?
I mean, you probably
haven't been that...
fucked up in... oh, dear.
You seem pretty
well-adjusted to me.
Are you sure?
God! Stupid, stupid.
Use his Tipo Fico.
What are you thinking, Ron?
What are you fucking thinking?
I use
the booze and the drugs
as an excuse to act selfishly,
and I don't think of
other people's feelings.
But do you think that this
is a child actor thing
or-or a you thing?
I never had any normal friends.
I never got to goof
around or go to prom.
You never got to go to the prom?
Shit.
Okay, make it quick.
♪ I've got you ♪
♪ Under my skin ♪
Yeah.
♪ I've got you ♪
♪ Deep in the heart of me... ♪
Compared to Jack, Joel
is a pile of wet garbage.
- Hmm.
- You're so lucky.
- Mm.
- It's like a fairy tale.
God.
Let's go!
It is like a fairy
tale. Yes, it is.
See, that should
be a big red flag.
Why does anybody say that?
If it's like a fairy
tale, it is a fairy tale.
It seems super obvious
when you say it out loud.
♪ For the sake Of
having you near... ♪
What do you think
you're gonna do?
I'm gonna dump his ass
in a satisfyingly
businesslike fashion.
After the party, per
your little plan.
I appreciate you
honoring the plan.
I see now. Solid plan.
Party's great, I
fake my way through,
Jack books a bunch more,
your boss gets rich,
I'm free, and it's just
gonna be like a little...
I almost
said fairy tale.
Yes, sir!
Oh, yeah. What a party, right?
And it's not just
because of this beauty...
but because of this beauty.
- Oh.
- Aw!
Evie, you surprise me every day.
But this... This is
a really good one.
Okay, so, everyone,
I've been kind of
figuring some stuff out,
and I feel like I
owe some apologies.
Okay, Tandy, we're just
just finishing up a toast, okay?
Maybe you can do this later?
Okay, okay.
Uh, anyway, as surprises go...
Okay, so first,
Evie, I'm sorry I didn't
consider your feelings
when I was hooking up with Jack.
What?
Okay, okay, okay.
This is crazy.
- Evie, I swear...
- It's fine.
Enjoy your party. We'll
talk about it later.
Okay, okay, second,
I want to apologize
to you, Jack.
I used your upstairs bathroom
when I knew it was off-limits.
- What the fuck?
- I'm so sorry.
Mm.
Okay, we're clear. We're
clear. Coast is clear.
[singer] ♪ Hey ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Gimme ♪
♪ Gimme, gimme
Gimme that now ♪
Manifest yourself.
Yes. Yes!
Got it!
Got what? What even was that?
It was the thing.
Great. Pack it up.
[Tandy] ♪ I've been
undressed By kings ♪
♪ And I've seen some things ♪
♪ That a woman Ain't
s'posed to see ♪
♪ I've been to paradise ♪
♪ But I've never been to me ♪
♪ Hey, you know What
paradise is... ♪
Hey, Jack, uh,
so I took the liberty of
preparing, uh, an event form.
Okay, maybe we can run a
few dates up the flagpole...
You took a shower
in my bathroom.
- [Tandy] ♪ It's that man ♪
- Bathroom.
[Tandy] ♪ That you fought
with This morning ♪
♪ The same one you're gonna ♪
♪ Make love with tonight... ♪
They only made 200
bottles of Tipo Fico, Ron.
Jesus Christ.
- No, no...
- Ron.
Ron, there you are. Here.
It's an event form. I
need to throw a party.
Maybe the most important
party of my life.
A prom.
Prom?
Escapade never got one.
I need to save her from
the child actor thing.
Details are all there.
Deposit check's attached.
Okay. Okay.
You see?
God never closes a door
without opening up a window.
Yeah, that's how a
bear got my uncle.
Uh, seriously?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Thought you said
you quit acting.
Oh, uh, I did.
This is a high school play.
The drama teacher
at my school died.
There's no money to replace
him, so they were like,
"Hey, Pollard, didn't
you used to be an actor?"
Jeez, I feel bad.
If we had cast you in A Far Cry,
you would not be in
this predicament.
Unless that story
was an act too.
Oh, no. I auditioned.
You produced it?
In my pretentious early years.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes.
Did we call you back?
- No.
- Hmm.
But it's good to finally know
who's to blame for
my predicament.
Sorry.
I owe you a drink.
Here. This is me.
You know, just if you
ever wanna collect.
Just promise no fairy-tale shit.
Oh, no, I'm a total mess,
guaranteed.
What's with the card?
Like, why is it weirdly big?
No, this. What's Party Dowm?
With an M?
Shit!
appears empty, right?
Jack thinks you're out of town.
- Suspecting nothing, he enters.
- Mm-hmm.
Right? And then...
Boom.
People, right? Surprise, right?
And then we pull...
- Happy birthday...
- Forty-fifth.
- Forty-fifth, Jack, yes?
- Jack, uh-huh.
And then we press play...
- This one, right?
- Okay.
And that is our cue to circulate
with our custom, made-to-order
birthday cake bites.
We have a new
chef, cutting-edge.
You're gonna love it.
Uh, speaking of circulating,
does this need to be here?
Y-yes. It's the gift.
- Oh.
- It's a karaoke machine.
Karaoke. In your house?
- Hmm.
- That's allowed?
I love karaoke.
Oh, I'm not a fan,
which is ironic,
'cause now Jack will want
to do karaoke parties
all the time.
Ah...
I'll have to give him my card.
Okay. Guests
should arrive soon.
Oh, if you have any questions,
I'm just putting
these in my office.
And if staff could
stick to party areas.
- Thank you.
- Uh, clients' private,
non-party spaces are
strictly off-limits, okay?
Party Down policy number one.
Top of the list. Henry.
- Yep.
- Off-limits.
Right.
Jesus.
Oh, Henry.
Congrats on finalizing
the divorce.
Bet you're gonna party tonight.
Yeah, six-packs and YouTubes.
Fall asleep in a chair.
Well, you must be
happy that they changed
the blatantly
misandristic alimony laws.
Mm, actually, I still pay.
She makes less than I do, so...
Less than a teacher?
What does she do?
Is she a shoeshine
at the bus station?
Wait a minute. You
have to pay alimony?
With what? You're,
like, a teacher, right?
Yes, that is why
I am moonlighting.
Oh, moonlighting.
Yes, man,
I haven't done that
since they canceled Burning Man.
So if you dropped
your tab at moonrise,
you're due for a
Molly, like, now.
How's your headspace?
Moonlighting as in
working a side job
for extra money.
That's a term?
But it's day.
Oh, actually, you
go with the grain.
- The what?
- The limes?
- I got this. Watch.
- Oh.
See, this is why I
am back catering.
I got a callback for a CW show.
Character works in a club,
so I thought I'd keep
a foot in food service
for my sense memory.
See, I go in immersed in
my character's lived truth,
dude, I am gonna stand out.
As one of the few actors in LA
who's ever worked
in food service.
- You get it.
- Okay. All right, all right.
Doing limes.
And we are T-minus 15 minutes.
Dude, have you seen this house?
There is a bathroom upstairs
that is the most
amazing bathroom
I have ever seen in my life.
There is a drinking
fountain in the toilet.
- The mirrors are everywhere...
- Okay.
Everybody, my God, okay?
Clients' private,
non-party spaces are...
what?
Give it to me.
Sackson, I know you
know this policy.
I know you know this policy
'cause I told you about
this policy a million times.
What is number one?
- Pee?
- No.
Stay out. Stay
out is the policy.
Stay out is the policy.
Anyway, uh, as you may know,
Chef Hans has been fired.
- Chef Hans?
- Yeah.
That guy was cool.
Well, he was stealing booze.
Wait, you can get
fired for that?
It's actually pretty standard.
He was stealing
a lot of booze.
And also, he said he was
cool and cutting-edge,
and he wasn't, you know,
and I want this party
to be cutting-edge.
Ah, right on cue!
Ladies and gentlemen, everybody,
this is our new chef, Lucy Dang,
with our made-to-order
custom cake bites, huh?
Wow, look at those.
Those are cool.
Hell yeah. It's cake
time with Sacks.
Mmm...
What's in these?
Basic sheet cake
done in an on-sale,
store-bought style
with a center of
ripened Camembert.
- W-w-wait, what?
- Mm.
You get an innocent,
childlike sweetness up front,
followed by an earthy
whiff of decay.
Why?
It's a rumination on mortality.
Rumination on mortality?
It-it's cake.
Birthday cake.
What?
You said in the interview,
"I want 'the new foods,
cutting-edge d'oeuvres.'"
Yes, yes, like... Y-you
know, like new shapes.
Look, this is an
important event for me
business-wise, and I'd rather
the guests not be
thinking of death.
Not just death.
It's more, "Life is finite.
How have I used this time?"
I am feeling like I wish
I had said, "I love
you," to my nana more.
- Yes!
- No. Throw them out.
Throw them out now, and
then make new ones, okay?
You have time. I will stall.
Okay, so not cutting-edge?
You just want basic-ass,
boring shit for normies?
No, cutting-edge but in
the form of shapes...
and stuff.
Okay?
I see how it is.
Lucy.
So, uh, moving on, uh,
as I said, clients'
private, non-party spaces...
Oh, fu...
So it's time once again
to hear from our
investor, Constance,
who, as you know, insists
on us doing this...
...bullshit.
Shit.
- Hey!
- No, I asked
for my egg under the
hollandaise sauce
and the bacon on top!
Uh, you know, Constance,
if you're busy,
we could do this another time.
No, no, no, Ron,
no. No, no, no.
And as your partner, I
am always there for you.
M-more like investor.
I'm sorry I
can't be there in person,
but I am with you on-screen.
Let's
start with our look within.
Everybody close your eyes.
We want to bring our hands...
She's out
of town. Relax.
and
focus on the energy.
- Mm, baby!
- What the fuck?
Whoa-ho, and
that is Jack Botty.
Oh, whoa. Okay, shit.
Uh...
what's going on?
...always has 20...
Ron Donald, Party Down Catering,
and we are here for...
Um, I cannot say.
Shit. Your surprise 45th.
It's today. I got
an invitation.
Jesus Christ. Why didn't
you say something?
Well, because you said
Evie was out of town,
- so I assumed it was canceled.
- Fuck.
Uh, she's in the
living room, um,
and guests are
coming, like, now.
Oh, that's great. Okay, cool.
Uh, great!
Listen, I'm gonna
go around the f...
I'm gonna go around
the front, okay?
I'm gonna come in
the front door.
I'm gonna be surprised.
And we're gonna
have a great party.
Okay.
I'm gonna ask you to
keep this under your hat,
though, okay?
What this is,
you never saw me.
You never saw this.
No, no, no, you
can't come with me.
Just
go hide somewhere.
- Come in later.
- Okay.
Okay, you heard the
man. You never saw him.
Like, now or ever?
Surprise!
Oh, man.
You got it. Good one.
Oh, man!
You should've seen
the look on his face.
He really looked
surprised.
I... o-o-o-okay, okay,
I-I-I know that thing
that happened earlier
was a little bit awkward.
I think it's at
least medium awkward.
Look, look, this
is a big opportunity.
You see how classy
this place is,
these classy people?
I want more of that.
So can we just do our jobs?
And don't rock the boat, okay?
That-that song was
our cue, so let's go.
Come on, let's go. Yeah.
- Yay.
- Great, let's do it.
Lucy Dang.
Great. Thank...
Yeah, cut the cucumber.
That's the job. That's the job.
and on
the count of three,
we will open our eyes,
fully cleansed
for a great event.
One, two, three.
Hey, kid.
You okay?
Yeah, I mean, I...
guess I'm just wrestling
with a slight dilemma.
Ooh. Dilemma, huh?
Have you ever had the
chance to do something big,
like, change-your-life big,
but it's against the rules?
Mm, actually, Jiminy...
Sackson.
let me
tell you a story.
It's 1983, and the
talk of the town
is the title sequence
for the movie Hardbodies.
Everybody wants in.
I couldn't even get an audition.
So I dressed up like a waitress,
I snuck into the
producer's country club,
and I surprised him at
lunch with my résumé,
my headshot, and extra charm.
And I got that audition.
So chase your dreams, Sanklin,
even if you have to
break a few rules.
- Did you get the part?
- No, I did not.
I lost it to Deb Hamming.
It happened a lot.
She looked just like me,
but she had slightly
bigger boobs.
But I was not
gonna let the rules
get between me and my dream.
What rules, exactly?
The day of the shoot,
Nels, my drug dealer, and I
dressed up as cops,
and we arrested Deb
for possession of
one kilo of cocaine
that Nels had
planted in her car.
Then we handcuffed
her to a radiator
in a warehouse downtown
while I took her ID
and sashayed right onto the set.
Isn't that, like, a crime?
I don't know. I'm not a lawyer.
But what are laws anyway
but basically rules?
Well, you made it
in the movie, right?
No, no, I had never worn a pair
of roller skates in my life.
So take one, I skated right
off the end of a pier.
Anyway, what do you wanna do?
Okay, so Ron said we have to
stay out of private spaces,
but there's a bathroom here
with mirrors on either side,
and I was like,
if I did the Chumble to
the new Mo Dip single
and you could see
it in both mirrors,
like, this could be
game-changing for me.
What is your career?
- Content.
- What?
Like, web videos and stuff.
Computer things
with your telephone?
Yeah.
Well, then maybe you
should stick to the rules.
What happened to
"chase that dream"?
Well, I thought you were
talking about a real dream,
like actor or something.
Here's my story.
I've been fired from
every job I ever had.
Is that the whole story?
I'm not a storyteller.
My medium is food.
The point is...
a true artist...
is breaking the
rules all the time.
Whoa, you're kidding.
Hey, what's up? How you doing?
♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪
Evie, relax. It's going great.
It's just a big step.
I've never thrown
him a party before.
He's a parties guy. He's
particular about parties.
- This is what I need.
- Okay.
- Thank you very much.
- My pleasure.
You know
who he looks like?
- Who?
- "Are we having fun yet?"
You remember that?
It is you.
We met last year.
- Evie.
- Right. Henry.
I didn't know you
were a bartender.
Teacher, but I got divorced
and needed a side hustle,
so it was either
this or escort work.
I could see you being popular
with neglected Bel
Air housewives.
I get attached easily.
This is less messy emotionally.
Well, I'm sorry to hear
it. That sounds rough.
I guess we finally know the
answer to the question...
- Hmm.
- "Are we having fun yet?"
The answer's no.
- Too soon?
- No, the opposite.
That me hasn't
existed for years.
So you don't act anymore at all?
Only when I say, "My pleasure,"
as I hand people drinks.
That was an act?
It wasn't your pleasure?
- I felt nothing.
- Hmm.
Shame you quit. You're good.
Can you believe it?
Karaoke in your own house.
It's... allowed.
Oh, the party's
going great, huh?
Yeah. Do you think we're gonna
see the cake bite things or...
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, coming up any minute.
- ...any of the...
- Yep.
Hey, my little
secret party planner.
- Hi, baby.
- Hey!
Mwah!
Tell me, were you
really surprised?
Yeah, the karaoke
machine's a beast.
- You heard it?
- Yeah, yeah.
It's incredible.
- The sound quality's amazing.
- Good.
- Let's get you on the mic.
- No.
- No? No?
- No.
- Come on.
- No.
Not my jam.
It's not my thing, honey.
One song, baby.
Come on.
Remember what we're
not gonna rock.
Your body?
The boat, Henry,
the boat.
Happy birthday, Jack!
John over there.
- Hey.
- Oh! Thanks, Lyle.
Yeah, hey, it's a bummer
you got canceled, man.
It'd have been fun having
you in the extended U.
Yeah. Only slightly canceled.
Just here researching a role.
♪ Happy birthday, Jack Botty ♪
Lydia Dunfree.
Uh, did I miss the surprise?
Yeah, it was the first
thing that happened.
Oh, rats.
You know, I hate
being surprised,
but I love seeing someone
else get surprised.
It's like when you see
someone get eaten by a shark
and you're like, "Yay, not me."
Anyway, Escapade
loved working with you
on Infinity Sticks and was
thrilled to be invited,
but she didn't feel well,
so she asked her manager
to deliver her best wishes
and this gift basket.
- It's a really good one.
- Oh, thank you so much.
- Nice. Thank you!
- Thank you for coming.
Did you guys... I want... hmm.
Hey, uh, that's a
bummer Escapade's sick.
She's not.
Sick in the head, maybe.
- Oof.
- I don't know.
Since her big breakthrough,
she's just got gotten so moody.
Oh.
Well, probably just
adolescent girl brain.
- Yeah.
- They're crazy at this age.
Right?
Isn't she, like, 23?
Yes. I don't know
what's going on.
I mean, this has been her dream
ever since she was little.
- And now she's gone all weird.
- Hmm.
I'm afraid
she's gonna fire me.
No. After all
you've done? No way.
The other day on her phone,
I saw a missed
call from Ted Fine.
Ooh.
Arguably the top
manager in the business.
Yeah.
I mean, he's a seasoned veteran.
If he gets his claws
into her, I'm fucked.
Oof.
- How are you?
- Oh...
Oh, I forgot. Canceled.
You're a waiter again.
Yeah, uh, just to do
a little sense memory
for my callback for
the Lost Boys reboot.
Oh, must be so fun to be back
slinging d'oeuvres
with the old gang.
Is it?
Mm-mm. No. No, it sucks.
Aw.
Another spoon broke, Ron.
This cheap shit
just doesn't cut it.
- What's that?
- Oh, new business cards.
You always
gotta be prepared.
Jack loves parties.
Can you imagine,
me hanging out with Jack Botty,
Liam Neeson, Don Cheadle?
No. Why is it big?
Why is it... That's the
style now, you know?
And I got a great deal on these.
Two thousand for two grand.
You paid two grand for those?
Yeah. Can you believe that?
No.
Uh, Ron,
do you sleep in the van?
What? No.
W-why do you ask that?
There's a little bed in there.
Yes, for... power naps.
I take power naps.
I...
I don't live in a van, okay?
I'm a business owner.
You smell like a guy
who lives in a van.
Thanks!
Mm. The stinkier, the
better, right?
Yeah, I've always been a foodie.
You know, they say I have
an adventuresome palate.
Oh, you're totally
ignoring Ron...
and fitting right in.
Ron is such a fuckin'
normie, right?
Mmm.
No, I get it. I
think it's good.
Oh, my God.
If you think it's
good, you don't get it.
Wait, I'm not
supposed to like it?
Everyone is so stuck
on this idea of food being good,
this whole taste
and flavor bullshit.
What you're supposed
to do is experience it,
engage with it, grapple with it,
wrestle with it.
Food is art.
It should change the
way you think and feel.
Like Rilke's poem... it says,
"You must change your life."
Mm-hmm.
Totally. No, I'm-I'm
getting that.
You don't get it.
Nope.
Oh, hey, Henry. Uh-uh,
all good at the bar?
Yeah. So far, pretty good.
Yeah, good, good, good,
yeah. Great. All right.
- Thanks, man.
- Yeah.
Henry,
can I ask you a question?
Sure.
Just come here.
Fuck. Come here.
Do I smell?
Uh, what do you mean, Ron?
You know I had a hard time
during lockdown, right?
I mean, it was a
year with no events.
- Yeah.
- Right?
I was living in the van...
You lived in the van?
I took any gig.
Secret weddings,
illegal poker tournaments,
goth raves,
unpermitted underground brises,
anything to keep
Party Down afloat.
I got COVID four times.
Ron, holy shit.
Which is fine. You know me.
I'm all about the
grind.
Right? But I do now
have no sense of smell.
- What?
- Which is fine.
I mean, at this
point in my life,
I've pretty much smelled it all.
But I can't blow this.
Fancy people will not hire
you for their fancy parties
if you smell.
So I'm asking you
as your boss...
and as your friend...
do I...
smell?
Ah, look at that.
- Honestly, um...
- Mm?
Kind of, yeah.
Sorry.
[singer] ♪ Hey... ♪
What in the hell, Sackson?
What did I tell
you? You can't...
What is this... circle?
Ron, I'm... uh, I'm sorry.
- I, uh... I just...
- You just what?
I mean, I went over
this a thousand times.
Non-party spaces
off-limits! My God!
This is such an RDD, I
can't even tell you...
- A what?
- An RD... get...
Uh, what are you
still doing here?
- Get out! Pack it up!
- I'm sorry. I got confused.
How? I mean, the policy's
crystal clear, Sackson!
I don't know.
Keep out of clients'
non-party spaces!
Oh, my God.
Appreciate
it. Thank you.
Yeah.
Ah, what's Tandy
Lehman doing here?
Oh, she was Lady Snakes in
the last Max America movie.
Hi.
I was hiding in a bush.
Okay.
Jack! Happy birthday!
Hi, Evie!
Whoa.
I'd heard she was
pretty wild, but...
You know, we just caught her
fooling around with
Jack before the party.
Gosh. I don't get it.
I mean, she's had
this nice career
for as long as I can remember.
I think that's part of it.
You know, the whole
child actor thing.
What thing?
Well, you know how
some child actors
end up kind of messed up?
That's a thing?
Since when?
Since whenever. You
know, like Judy Garland?
Judy Garland?
But she always seemed so happy,
singing and dancing around.
Oh, yeah,
that was all an act.
She had major issues.
So a kid gets to live
out their actual dream
and that screws them up?
- How?
- I don't know, but it does.
I mean, the whole reason
Haley Joel Osment grew a beard
is 'cause he shot himself in
the face with a pellet gun,
high on K, trying
to rob a Chipotle.
Wait, I saw Haley
last month up close.
His face was normal.
Okay, well, a different
former child actor.
But still...
it's a thing.
Scuse me!
Coming through.
Oop! Where's the bathroom?
Oh.
Uh, how...
I...
Oh, uh...
it's, uh... it's
off-limits back there.
Did you take a shower in there?
What?
No.
Oh, God.
Henry, how about now?
The smell.
Wow. Uh, very nice, actually.
Yeah, okay.
We're back on track.
Now I just wait for the right
moment and I give him my...
card.
- Why is it big like that?
- What? It's fine.
It's fine.
What, did he take a
shower or something?
He might have, yeah.
I don't know
what you're worried about.
Clearly, he loves it.
No, I'm worried about my sanity
with the thing in the house.
Well, make your peace with it,
'cause Ann told me Nora said
Jack asked if she
knew your ring size.
- Oh, whoa.
- Mm-hmm.
As long as he waits until I get
my green light on Human Tree 2.
- Oh, God.
- Can I get you anything?
She's had enough.
- I will have...
- These will do, actually.
Thank you. If Jack
does propose...
I got
two words for you:
"Belize wedding."
Shit. He's gonna propose?
What do you think we should do?
Whatever. It's like, once you
get to that level of rich,
they get into these, like,
dramas and stuff like it's fun.
They like it.
Oh, my God.
What are you doing?
Hey.
Uh...
Sorry, I-I, um... this was...
I-I was going by and
I saw this poster.
I was like, "What?"
I actually auditioned
for A Far Cry,so...
You saw how?
I-I was... I... it
was... It was, like,
a reflection over there.
I literally heard your boss
tell everyone not to go in here.
Yeah, the clients' private...
Yeah, that's what this is.
And so I was...
Why am I in here?
I'm-I'm just gonna... uh, no.
You don't... that's not for you.
- What the hell's this?
- What is that?
What is that?
Huh.
I'm...
- We, uh...
- Right.
Jack and Tandy.
Jack's having an affair.
Or something that looks like it.
- I...
- It's unbelievable.
Again.
Again?
I am such an idiot.
It's...
Sorry.
And you just tell me
like a normal person.
I didn't want to
fuck up the party.
You love parties that much?
No, my boss is in a
tough spot with his company
and he's really hoping
to do business with Jack,
so my plan was, hide the
note, Ron does his business,
and then after the
party, you get the note.
Maybe not
the worst plan in the world.
I mean, I was a
little proud of it.
- Maybe a good plan.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
- Anyway, I'm really sorry.
It's no big deal.
Your boyfriend's affair?
Oh, I thought you meant the
private space policy thing.
Oh, no. We break
that all the time.
I'm on two of Jack's
Percocet right now.
- Mm.
- Yeah. You want one?
Uh-huh.
♪ Everybody have fun tonight ♪
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
[Pam] ♪ Everybody
Have fun tonight... ♪
Oh, sure makes for
a fun night, right?
Oh, it's a great
gift. Great gift.
- You like karaoke?
- Oh, I love it.
You know, I've-I've
never tried it
in a home setting, you know?
Uh, way cooler, I imagine.
- It's similar, actually.
- Oh.
You know what I was
thinking would be cool
is to do, like, a
theme thing, you know,
like Rat Pack Night
or Disco Night.
Yeah, or-or-or-or-or
Rock and Roll Night
or, uh...
uh, you know, other nights.
Probably drive
Evie crazy, but...
Hey, who wears the
pants, am I right?
I mean, you're Max America.
You make a solid point.
♪ Everyone ♪
Beautiful!
You know, maybe we should, uh,
get eyeballs on a calendar,
you know, pencil in some dates?
I can handle all the
boring details and...
What? What? What?
You use Tipo Fico?
Do I what?
It's Tom Ford's
small-batch conditioner.
Yeah, I got a bottle at the,
uh, Locarno Film Festival
in a swag bag.
I just... I've never met
anyone who used it before.
No, I do not wear it, so...
Oh.
I see what you're getting.
I'm getting that as well.
I feel like it's wafting
in from over here.
I think it's that guy.
Shit, I'm buzzing.
Oh, I gotta take care of this.
But I'll come back with
the calendar, okay?
Yes? Oh, finally. Thank God.
So I guess I just
wanted to get a sense...
what's your take on the
whole child actor thing?
Child actor thing?
You know, like Judy Garland.
- Who?
- Excuse me.
Custom, made-to-order cake bite?
No, thanks.
Actually, um, apparently,
some child actors can
end up with issues.
And since my daughter
is a former child actor,
I was just wondering
if you felt like...
Oh, I don't have any
issues. I'm fine.
Oh.
Great.
Okay.
I mean... I don't know.
Maybe?
But you said no.
But maybe I'm actually
pretty fucked up
and I've been a terrible person.
Oh.
Probably not that bad, right?
I mean, you probably
haven't been that...
fucked up in... oh, dear.
You seem pretty
well-adjusted to me.
Are you sure?
God! Stupid, stupid.
Use his Tipo Fico.
What are you thinking, Ron?
What are you fucking thinking?
I use
the booze and the drugs
as an excuse to act selfishly,
and I don't think of
other people's feelings.
But do you think that this
is a child actor thing
or-or a you thing?
I never had any normal friends.
I never got to goof
around or go to prom.
You never got to go to the prom?
Shit.
Okay, make it quick.
♪ I've got you ♪
♪ Under my skin ♪
Yeah.
♪ I've got you ♪
♪ Deep in the heart of me... ♪
Compared to Jack, Joel
is a pile of wet garbage.
- Hmm.
- You're so lucky.
- Mm.
- It's like a fairy tale.
God.
Let's go!
It is like a fairy
tale. Yes, it is.
See, that should
be a big red flag.
Why does anybody say that?
If it's like a fairy
tale, it is a fairy tale.
It seems super obvious
when you say it out loud.
♪ For the sake Of
having you near... ♪
What do you think
you're gonna do?
I'm gonna dump his ass
in a satisfyingly
businesslike fashion.
After the party, per
your little plan.
I appreciate you
honoring the plan.
I see now. Solid plan.
Party's great, I
fake my way through,
Jack books a bunch more,
your boss gets rich,
I'm free, and it's just
gonna be like a little...
I almost
said fairy tale.
Yes, sir!
Oh, yeah. What a party, right?
And it's not just
because of this beauty...
but because of this beauty.
- Oh.
- Aw!
Evie, you surprise me every day.
But this... This is
a really good one.
Okay, so, everyone,
I've been kind of
figuring some stuff out,
and I feel like I
owe some apologies.
Okay, Tandy, we're just
just finishing up a toast, okay?
Maybe you can do this later?
Okay, okay.
Uh, anyway, as surprises go...
Okay, so first,
Evie, I'm sorry I didn't
consider your feelings
when I was hooking up with Jack.
What?
Okay, okay, okay.
This is crazy.
- Evie, I swear...
- It's fine.
Enjoy your party. We'll
talk about it later.
Okay, okay, second,
I want to apologize
to you, Jack.
I used your upstairs bathroom
when I knew it was off-limits.
- What the fuck?
- I'm so sorry.
Mm.
Okay, we're clear. We're
clear. Coast is clear.
[singer] ♪ Hey ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Gimme ♪
♪ Gimme, gimme
Gimme that now ♪
Manifest yourself.
Yes. Yes!
Got it!
Got what? What even was that?
It was the thing.
Great. Pack it up.
[Tandy] ♪ I've been
undressed By kings ♪
♪ And I've seen some things ♪
♪ That a woman Ain't
s'posed to see ♪
♪ I've been to paradise ♪
♪ But I've never been to me ♪
♪ Hey, you know What
paradise is... ♪
Hey, Jack, uh,
so I took the liberty of
preparing, uh, an event form.
Okay, maybe we can run a
few dates up the flagpole...
You took a shower
in my bathroom.
- [Tandy] ♪ It's that man ♪
- Bathroom.
[Tandy] ♪ That you fought
with This morning ♪
♪ The same one you're gonna ♪
♪ Make love with tonight... ♪
They only made 200
bottles of Tipo Fico, Ron.
Jesus Christ.
- No, no...
- Ron.
Ron, there you are. Here.
It's an event form. I
need to throw a party.
Maybe the most important
party of my life.
A prom.
Prom?
Escapade never got one.
I need to save her from
the child actor thing.
Details are all there.
Deposit check's attached.
Okay. Okay.
You see?
God never closes a door
without opening up a window.
Yeah, that's how a
bear got my uncle.
Uh, seriously?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Thought you said
you quit acting.
Oh, uh, I did.
This is a high school play.
The drama teacher
at my school died.
There's no money to replace
him, so they were like,
"Hey, Pollard, didn't
you used to be an actor?"
Jeez, I feel bad.
If we had cast you in A Far Cry,
you would not be in
this predicament.
Unless that story
was an act too.
Oh, no. I auditioned.
You produced it?
In my pretentious early years.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes.
Did we call you back?
- No.
- Hmm.
But it's good to finally know
who's to blame for
my predicament.
Sorry.
I owe you a drink.
Here. This is me.
You know, just if you
ever wanna collect.
Just promise no fairy-tale shit.
Oh, no, I'm a total mess,
guaranteed.
What's with the card?
Like, why is it weirdly big?
No, this. What's Party Dowm?
With an M?
Shit!