Parlement (2020–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - The Top Jobs Magic Circus - full transcript
In his search for a new MEP, Samy will find a whole new set of enemies.
...
-Goodnight all !
-Good evening !
-Yes Goodnight.
We are here to advise you
to watch the series in its original version.
-In OV.
-Yes. In VO, exactly.
So you go to your remote,
you click on "Menu", "Languages",
you change...
-Ah but...
Me, I only speak French, huh!
- No, but precisely, there are subtitles!
-Where ?
-Bah at the bottom of the screen!
- Well, you can't watch
and read at the same time!
-Yes Yes !
It's the principle, it's the VO! So.
-Yes that's it. The VO.
-Yes !
-Yes of course. Yes.
-So.
Is that clear, Michael?
-Yes quite ! In VO!
-In OV. Original version.
-So.
-So.
- There, yes.
- So there, I am in the Parliament.
Listen, it's a big building
in the form of the Caprice of the Gods.
Hello. I am a parliamentary assistant.
I... Yeah. OK.
- Better not stay here.
It's the corner of the nerds, here.
*-Michel Specklin
will take charge of this report.
- But what have you done to us?
- But you never had a relationship?
- I have been here for three years.
I'm not going to ask how it works now !
* Finning is when you cut
the fins off a shark
*to sell them to the Chinese!
- Don't get too attached to your deputy.
Otherwise,
it's too hard when they get eliminated.
-Samy, is that it?
-Yes and you ?
-I'm Torsten.
-I'm not going to withdraw an amendment
and threaten an entire species with extinction
for your boss's political agenda!
-Samy! How are you, old man?
-Guido Bonafide?
-OK, I admit: Guido is a lobbyist,
but he defends the interests of fishermen!
-He works for a consulting firm,
this guy! He's a mercenary!
-You tried to screw me my first day
with pro-fishing amendments!
-It's up to your political adviser
to orient you.
-Yes, okay, but Maurice hates me.
-Have a good day.
- The European Commissioners...
We do not swim in the same waters.
Focus on local wildlife.
There is more hope there.
Trust me.
-You can talk to me, we're friends!
- Yeah, more or less...
-Uh... Well...
-Hmm.
Telephone.
Shit !
-What is happening ?
-I have an interview for Facebook!
-Oh?
-I think I'm going to California...
-Yeah!
-Try "Samy" again.
- You haven't worked here
since this morning.
-Michel ! Michel !
-It's the German on the right, there...
That if I didn't fire you,
she would say it
was all my fault.
-So the future of sharks
rests on the cliché
that Germans like sausages?
-Looked !
*The report
is adopted with all the modifications.
-Yes ! Yes ! Yes !
-You have determined
Parliament's position...
Now, Parliament will have to negotiate
a text with the Council in trilogue.
This is just the beginning !
-It's never too late
to make the right decision!
- You should run after him.
OK...
...
-And after months of negotiations,
the finning amendment,
shark finning,
as I explained to you,
was finally voted on in plenary session,
and I have the feeling that this experience
allowed me to acquire
increased knowledge
in the functioning
of the European institutions
as well as a renewed commitment
to my pursuit of the general interest.
-OK.
But I mean...
Concretely, what will it give?
-It's ...
-Concretely!
From a concrete point of view, what!
According to you, according to you,
which is the first country that we attack?
-"On" ? "On", c'est...
-It's Europe!
It's us. "We" is us!
And so, we are going to attack...
-Let Europe attack...
-Yes.
-Yes.
-Switzerland !
We will start with Switzerland!
-OK.
-It's here
what is the dough!
And in addition, they are already surrounded,
so it's easier!
Fair or not?
-Yes quite. OK.
-And then, afterwards,
with Swiss money...
Russia is attacked for oil!
-OK.
- Is it fair or not?
-Yes.
-Good !
And once we're in Russia, look!
What are we starting from?
-China ?
-China ! But of course !
Fair or not?
-OK.
-It's all going to be ours! All the mess!
-Yes.
...
- So, here is your guide... -
Thank you.
-You can sit down,
we'll take the photo for the badge.
Here, smile...
That's great ! Thanks !
Goodbye !
Good morning !
-Hello !
-You speak French ?
-Yes yes.
-First term?
-Not really !
-Nope ? Okay so
I'm not giving you the guide,
it is for beginners.
-Uh... No, no need.
-So you can sit down,
we're going to take the photo for the badge.
-Very well.
-Go for it,
sit down... -
Here.
-And watch the webcam
right here...
-There? That ?
- Yes, that, right there.
-It is little !
-Yes. Go ahead, stand up straight, smile...
And...
-Samy!
Samy!
-Please ?
-Yes ?
- We're going to do it again.
Look at the webcam.
-Samy ...
-How's it going sir ?
-Samy ...
-Ah! Mash potatoes ! Torsten...
- Do you know that you don't have to hide anymore?
She left !
-Who is that ?
-Ingeborg! She no longer works here.
She got a promotion.
-Ah...
OK.
-At the Ministry of...
Defense.
-Very well. Well good for her!
- Have you found a new MP?
-Uh no.
-It's funny to see assistants
looking for one like puppies
waiting desperately
a master in a refuge.
-Wait... -Oh
my God...
It's Michael!
-No, but Torsten...
- Hi, Michael!
Good morning ! Hello, Michael!
-Torsten!
-Why are you hiding ?
-Hush!
-(Why are you avoiding Michel
now? Samy?!
(Samy ?!
(My God...
(Sorry, friend, but maybe
the problem lies with you!)
-Hello ! Excuse me, I'm late... -
It doesn't matter. Samy, is that it?
-Yes that's it.
-Enter, please.
-Thanks a lot.
- Can I get you a coffee?
-Uh... Well, maybe we won't
make Monsieur wait...
- Oh, it's ok, a little coffee! A latte!
I just learned how to make lattes.
-Okay OK.
-Please have a sit.
-Thanks a lot.
Le ...
M. Krazog.. Krazgr...
-Krazinski.
-Krazinski, is he Polish?
-Yeah !
-Yeah !
I'm dumb...
Of course!
Because I don't speak Polish very well... -
Well, it doesn't matter!
You speak to him in French,
don't worry about that!
-Yes ? Does he speak French well?
- Uh... Yes, yes, yes!
-Thanks.
-Let's go ? I let you in.
-OK.
-M. Krazinski?
-Hello Sir !
-So !
-Thanks, that's nice !
Have a good day !
-Yes.
-However, I feel
that I learned from this experience
increased knowledge
of how institutions work
as well as a renewed commitment
to my pursuit of the general interest...
And now... we will have to...
We'll have to...
retrieve the report on the finning...
to defend it...
in trilogue with the Council.
It's a...
This is a new obstacle
that I would love to...
Of... - How are you
? Everything is going well ?
-Um yes.
-Yes ?
-How are you.
-Oh...
He looks very happy!
He loves you very much!
-Oh yes ?
- So, for the rest, it's quite simple.
There, the moistened wipes...
To be,
the weekly pill box,
very well organized...
And the gloves. Gloves,
Friday.
-OK...
- Me, I spin, because I have my train.
-Wait, are you leaving?
- Oh yeah!
It was my last day!
And you, you arrived just in time!
Goodbye ! Goodbye !
-Excuse me, the gloves, that's why...
The MP snores.
M. Krazovski ?
The door creaks.
...
-I find myself all alone!
I'm unhappy !
While my friends, there,
they eat good fruit together!
And I find myself all alone!
Telephone.
...
Sorry,
but the deputy is not here at the moment!
*-Hello ?
-Samy?
*-Yes, Michael!
-Oh ! It's nice to hear from you!
- Yes, bah precisely, I come to see you, there.
-I'm waiting for you ! Come quickly !
*-See you soon.
-See you soon !
-Quoi ?
- Is that your CV?
-Yes.
-Unbelievable.
-It's your...
-It's my badge, yes.
- Yeah, well...
It seems that your deputy
was not re-elected, by the way...
It's politics, that...
-Hm.
-Hm.
-Hm.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Don't worry, go...
I have an interview with a French woman.
-Oh yeah ?
-First term, but super competent.
Very good potential.
- Wow, great! What's her name ?
-Valentine Cantel.
-Valentine Cantel.
- I'm going to make a star out of him.
-Yeah, that's it.
-And how is he, the...
Red mullet?
- Red mullet? No, it is flowery.
-No, no, no, he is red.
- No, no, he's fine.
-Be careful, your lace is undone!
-It's on purpose !
It's to make fools talk!
...
-Oui ?
-Excuse me,
I have an appointment with Mrs. Cantel.
- Oh, yes, yes!
She'll see you in a minute.
-Thanks a lot.
You want a...
A little help ?
Do you want help ? Because... -
No, but I'm getting there...
- No, but in fact, it's completely stupid...
You have to press all three buttons
at the same time.
-The three buttons?
-And There you go !
-It's impressive !
- Yes, well... I have two years of house.
-And suddenly, there...
- So, this
is live from the plenary...
-Yeah. Next ?
-Not many people today...
And that is the Commission's press conferences
.
-Et ?
- And back to square one.
There are only two channels!
The first time, I watched this
for seven hours straight,
I didn't realize they were broadcasting
the same images in a loop,
it was like I was stuck
in a space-time rift.
-No, but it's true
that there is something fascinating!
I find it hard to take my eyes off.
- By the way, a little trick...
I never told my former deputy
that it was image loops.
It saved me quite a few afternoons,
if you know what I mean...
-Who was your former deputy?
-Specklin. Michel Specklin.
-Ah oui !
The guy with the slightly red face there...
-Oh, flowery.
-And was it good ?
-In fact, if you want,
you have two types of deputies:
you have the psychopaths and the imbeciles.
Avoid those that combine both qualities
and you won't be doing too badly!
-Good, I believe that Valentine
will be able to receive you.
-Ok good. Thanks.
I'll put them there for you, huh?
-Yes.
-Excuse me, do you have coffee, by any chance?
-Nope.
-OK.
-Come in.
So...
Do you have a resume?
- Uh... Yes, yes!
-Yes ? Nope ?
- Yes, yes, I... -
Yes?
I don't mind.
-OK...
-Parfait.
So...
"Samy"...
So tell me about your previous
experiences in Parliament.
-So...
So, as I told you,
I've been in the house for two years,
I had a first experience
with Mr. Specklin, who, therefore...
Who was... Who was... Who ended...
We were working on the finning amendment,
that is to say the finning of sharks,
we succeeded in banning it.
That is to say
that it is a very common practice in...
It's in China.
- So I didn't understand anything.
- You got me, anyway!
Good game !
It's really a tactic...
-A psychopath?
-Yes No ! No no !
-A fool?
-Non !
I wanted to say...
- You know, Samy...
I snatched the vice-presidency of Parliament
from the Dutch this morning...
I came here to change Europe...
-Hm hm?
-Not for giving
pocket money to guys
who put in hobbies in their CV
"films, music and travels"
and who imagine that their incompetence
makes them sympathetic.
Then
you will greet Mr. Specklin for me...
See you next time !
-Yes.
And you will congratulate the Dutch
for me!
-Why ?
-No nothing.
-Yes Yes ! Why ?
- Which vice-president do you have?
- What do you mean, which one?
-Bah and at 14!
What did they trade you
for "the" vice-presidency?
-A coordinator position.
Samy chuckles.
- Okay... -
What?
Quoi, "OK" ?
It's a vice-presidency, after all!
- Oh yeah, that's great!
- Well yes, great. Nope ?
- A coordinator, he is in charge
of negotiating on behalf of his group
all the business
of its parliamentary committee,
he signs the press releases,
he can speak
in plenary...
The Deputy Speaker of Parliament,
he is in charge of...
to make the call,
the day in the year
when the president is absent, of course,
if he caught a gastro or a cold...
It's a chocolate medal.
Finally, congratulations,
Madam Vice-President!
Footsteps in the hallway come closer.
The footsteps recede.
And there, bam, I say to him:
"No, my casserole, I'll stop you right away.
"It doesn't work that way here.
You'll never get anything from the Dutch."
-That's a nice touch.
-Exactly !
But you know, she's an ambitious girl!
I will make her a star!
Oh... -
Yeah, it's funny.
- You haven't heard anything yet!
Damn, you're distracted!
- Yeah, I'm not focused.
-Yeah. It's true...
-Oh ! Good morning !
Sam spills his coffee.
-Whore ! I am sorry !
Sorry !
-It's nothing.
- I'm really sorry, I'm going to...
Damn, I'm sorry!
-How are you !
It's nothing, it'll be fine!
-And how are you ?
And what are you doing there?
-Uh... Torsten didn't tell you anything?
-Eh ?
-I asked him.
-Torsten ? Ce Torsten ? Non, non !
He didn't tell me anything, actually, but...
He is very reliable! It is reliable
for any job, in fact!
-Why didn't you tell her that...
-Listen, honey... You've done enough harm.
to that poor boy, okay?
-Difficulty ? She didn't hurt me at all!
- Yes, look at what you just did.
- Did you come back from California?
- Yes, I'm back!
-Yes yes !
-I arrived home safely !
-(Thin,
(Martin Kraft is looking for you everywhere!)
-Cool, I don't know who it is.
And you came back for good?
- For good, yes.
I'm back.
Sorry ?
-You told your MP
to refuse a vice-presidency?
-Not now, Torsten!
We will see presently!
Maybe we could go... -
Samy the shark!
How is it going ?
-Uh... Good.
-OK. Shall we go, sweetheart?
-Yes.
-Guido Bonafide addresses you
as if you were...
-Colleagues.
- And late.
-Yes.
-Of course, of course...
- Okay, here we go.
-I'll call you.
- Samy, you have to hide!
-What are you doing ?
-To be !
-Why didn't you tell me
that Rose was back?
-You're going to have big problems!
-I have no problems!
I'm more in love with her,
I burned all my poems...
-Listen to me !
You messed up the Germans' plan
for the nomination of the presidencies!
-What are you talking about ?
-It's on the German WhatsApp!
-Is there a WhatsApp group
for all Germans?
- No, they would be 80 million!
This is for those who work for the EU.
- Yes, it makes sense... -
I'm talking about the European presidencies!
You do not measure what you have done!
-Quoi ?!
What is that ?
The little circus of the presidencies
of the European Union.
*Carnival music.
*...
Good !
From what I know,
your deputy refused the vice-presidency
given to him
by the Dutch.
But it so happens that in Parliament,
the positions are distributed
by delegations
following a complex system
of points according to their size.
So the French centrists won
surprise points because of you,
which they used to obtain
another vice-presidency,
that of the business committee
economic and monetary.
And the Spanish socialists,
who had to have it,
chaired
the women's rights commission.
But the deputy Pablo Sanchez Correa
got angry, because he wanted
economic affairs at all costs.
He deduced that
it was a conspiracy directed against him
of the German Christian Democrats
and ensured
that the Dutch, allies of the Germans,
lose the Committee on Budgets.
What happened.
The Dutch then turned
against the Germans by withdrawing
their support for the presidency
of Parliament
and for their candidate Martin Kraft.
This is the most important part.
I want to talk
of Martin Kraft and his candidate.
So,
as the Germans did not have
the presidency of Parliament,
they refused that the French
have that of the European Commission.
The Poles asked
the post of High Representative of the Union
for Foreign Affairs,
which, moreover,
they were never going to have!
But to compromise,
an Eastern European
should have at least
a presidency of the European Council.
So the Czechs got it
instead of the Italians, who asked
the European Central Bank,
but for that they had to give up
management of the IMF in Washington,
which freed up a position.
And now, we are all waiting to see
how the Chinese will react.
Then yes !
Well, okay, I guess that part
is not up to you.
-Wow! It was amazing!
-Oh yeah ?
-Yeah !
Although, I'm sorry,
I couldn't hear a single word
you said,
I was so captivated by...
How long
did you work on all this?
-Two years.
-Two years ?
-Yeah.
-You worked two years on it
just to answer the question
of the attribution of the presidencies
of the European Union?
- Yeah, I was hoping that one day
someone would ask me.
-Wow! This is the craziest thing
I've ever seen!
It's very, very cool!
So the Germans are angry?
Yes and so ?
-No, it's Martin Kraft who is angry!
-I don't know who this Martin Kraft is!
-He is the chief of staff
of the last three presidents!
-OK. But what does
he want to achieve with all this?
-The power !
-To do what ?
-Nothing in particular !
He's just... German!
-Ah OK...
But he doesn't know who I am,
so I don't care!
Ah...
Let me guess.
That's Martin Kraft, right?
-Oui.
-And you told him about me?
-Oui.
- Yeah, he looks German.
-If this damn mess isn't fixed
in the next five minutes,
I will destroy you all!
Did you understand correctly?!
European anthem.
...
-May the joy that calls
us welcome us in its clarity!
Let joy and beauty awaken under his wing !
No more hatred on Earth,
may happiness be reborn.
All men are brothers
when joy unites hearts.
...
-Attends !
How are you ?
-Um yes.
Non.
I have to solve the problem of the
European presidencies before tomorrow evening,
otherwise this Martin Kraft will make sure
I never work here again.
-I see...
-And not just in Parliament,
in Europe !
-You can go to the UK!
-Can you imagine?
-Yes !
In effect.
- Yes, it's true, of course.
-I'm sorry,
I should have told you that I was going home.
- No, don't worry, it doesn't matter.
-I was just a little... Given
your last SMS...
-Yes... And how was it, Facebook?
-Uh... Yes... Well...
When you hear about
all these shootings,
we say
that they have a problem with weapons,
and they force-feed their kids
anxiolytics...
But that's not the question.
They are just...
extremely annoying.
-Yeah !
-Yes, they really
a problem with weapons,
but it's just that they are annoying,
the biggest problem.
-I'm glad you came back.
- Yes, me too,
I'm glad to see you again.
-Yeah.
-Yes.
This is...
-Hello !
-Okay...Oh!
-Health !
How are you ?
-Well...
I present to you my friend Rose.
Spanish.
-I do not speak Spanish.
-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
-Yeah...
It's Lydia. She's my... girlfriend... -
Yes.
-Let's go ?
-Yes of course !
So... See you soon, my friend!
-See you next time !
Hi !
-See you soon !
I'm starving!
Eamon hums.
-Ho-ho...
A new Parliament begins...
...
-Goodnight all !
-Good evening !
-Yes Goodnight.
We are here to advise you
to watch the series in its original version.
-In OV.
-Yes. In VO, exactly.
So you go to your remote,
you click on "Menu", "Languages",
you change...
-Ah but...
Me, I only speak French, huh!
- No, but precisely, there are subtitles!
-Where ?
-Bah at the bottom of the screen!
- Well, you can't watch
and read at the same time!
-Yes Yes !
It's the principle, it's the VO! So.
-Yes that's it. The VO.
-Yes !
-Yes of course. Yes.
-So.
Is that clear, Michael?
-Yes quite ! In VO!
-In OV. Original version.
-So.
-So.
- There, yes.
- So there, I am in the Parliament.
Listen, it's a big building
in the form of the Caprice of the Gods.
Hello. I am a parliamentary assistant.
I... Yeah. OK.
- Better not stay here.
It's the corner of the nerds, here.
*-Michel Specklin
will take charge of this report.
- But what have you done to us?
- But you never had a relationship?
- I have been here for three years.
I'm not going to ask how it works now !
* Finning is when you cut
the fins off a shark
*to sell them to the Chinese!
- Don't get too attached to your deputy.
Otherwise,
it's too hard when they get eliminated.
-Samy, is that it?
-Yes and you ?
-I'm Torsten.
-I'm not going to withdraw an amendment
and threaten an entire species with extinction
for your boss's political agenda!
-Samy! How are you, old man?
-Guido Bonafide?
-OK, I admit: Guido is a lobbyist,
but he defends the interests of fishermen!
-He works for a consulting firm,
this guy! He's a mercenary!
-You tried to screw me my first day
with pro-fishing amendments!
-It's up to your political adviser
to orient you.
-Yes, okay, but Maurice hates me.
-Have a good day.
- The European Commissioners...
We do not swim in the same waters.
Focus on local wildlife.
There is more hope there.
Trust me.
-You can talk to me, we're friends!
- Yeah, more or less...
-Uh... Well...
-Hmm.
Telephone.
Shit !
-What is happening ?
-I have an interview for Facebook!
-Oh?
-I think I'm going to California...
-Yeah!
-Try "Samy" again.
- You haven't worked here
since this morning.
-Michel ! Michel !
-It's the German on the right, there...
That if I didn't fire you,
she would say it
was all my fault.
-So the future of sharks
rests on the cliché
that Germans like sausages?
-Looked !
*The report
is adopted with all the modifications.
-Yes ! Yes ! Yes !
-You have determined
Parliament's position...
Now, Parliament will have to negotiate
a text with the Council in trilogue.
This is just the beginning !
-It's never too late
to make the right decision!
- You should run after him.
OK...
...
-And after months of negotiations,
the finning amendment,
shark finning,
as I explained to you,
was finally voted on in plenary session,
and I have the feeling that this experience
allowed me to acquire
increased knowledge
in the functioning
of the European institutions
as well as a renewed commitment
to my pursuit of the general interest.
-OK.
But I mean...
Concretely, what will it give?
-It's ...
-Concretely!
From a concrete point of view, what!
According to you, according to you,
which is the first country that we attack?
-"On" ? "On", c'est...
-It's Europe!
It's us. "We" is us!
And so, we are going to attack...
-Let Europe attack...
-Yes.
-Yes.
-Switzerland !
We will start with Switzerland!
-OK.
-It's here
what is the dough!
And in addition, they are already surrounded,
so it's easier!
Fair or not?
-Yes quite. OK.
-And then, afterwards,
with Swiss money...
Russia is attacked for oil!
-OK.
- Is it fair or not?
-Yes.
-Good !
And once we're in Russia, look!
What are we starting from?
-China ?
-China ! But of course !
Fair or not?
-OK.
-It's all going to be ours! All the mess!
-Yes.
...
- So, here is your guide... -
Thank you.
-You can sit down,
we'll take the photo for the badge.
Here, smile...
That's great ! Thanks !
Goodbye !
Good morning !
-Hello !
-You speak French ?
-Yes yes.
-First term?
-Not really !
-Nope ? Okay so
I'm not giving you the guide,
it is for beginners.
-Uh... No, no need.
-So you can sit down,
we're going to take the photo for the badge.
-Very well.
-Go for it,
sit down... -
Here.
-And watch the webcam
right here...
-There? That ?
- Yes, that, right there.
-It is little !
-Yes. Go ahead, stand up straight, smile...
And...
-Samy!
Samy!
-Please ?
-Yes ?
- We're going to do it again.
Look at the webcam.
-Samy ...
-How's it going sir ?
-Samy ...
-Ah! Mash potatoes ! Torsten...
- Do you know that you don't have to hide anymore?
She left !
-Who is that ?
-Ingeborg! She no longer works here.
She got a promotion.
-Ah...
OK.
-At the Ministry of...
Defense.
-Very well. Well good for her!
- Have you found a new MP?
-Uh no.
-It's funny to see assistants
looking for one like puppies
waiting desperately
a master in a refuge.
-Wait... -Oh
my God...
It's Michael!
-No, but Torsten...
- Hi, Michael!
Good morning ! Hello, Michael!
-Torsten!
-Why are you hiding ?
-Hush!
-(Why are you avoiding Michel
now? Samy?!
(Samy ?!
(My God...
(Sorry, friend, but maybe
the problem lies with you!)
-Hello ! Excuse me, I'm late... -
It doesn't matter. Samy, is that it?
-Yes that's it.
-Enter, please.
-Thanks a lot.
- Can I get you a coffee?
-Uh... Well, maybe we won't
make Monsieur wait...
- Oh, it's ok, a little coffee! A latte!
I just learned how to make lattes.
-Okay OK.
-Please have a sit.
-Thanks a lot.
Le ...
M. Krazog.. Krazgr...
-Krazinski.
-Krazinski, is he Polish?
-Yeah !
-Yeah !
I'm dumb...
Of course!
Because I don't speak Polish very well... -
Well, it doesn't matter!
You speak to him in French,
don't worry about that!
-Yes ? Does he speak French well?
- Uh... Yes, yes, yes!
-Thanks.
-Let's go ? I let you in.
-OK.
-M. Krazinski?
-Hello Sir !
-So !
-Thanks, that's nice !
Have a good day !
-Yes.
-However, I feel
that I learned from this experience
increased knowledge
of how institutions work
as well as a renewed commitment
to my pursuit of the general interest...
And now... we will have to...
We'll have to...
retrieve the report on the finning...
to defend it...
in trilogue with the Council.
It's a...
This is a new obstacle
that I would love to...
Of... - How are you
? Everything is going well ?
-Um yes.
-Yes ?
-How are you.
-Oh...
He looks very happy!
He loves you very much!
-Oh yes ?
- So, for the rest, it's quite simple.
There, the moistened wipes...
To be,
the weekly pill box,
very well organized...
And the gloves. Gloves,
Friday.
-OK...
- Me, I spin, because I have my train.
-Wait, are you leaving?
- Oh yeah!
It was my last day!
And you, you arrived just in time!
Goodbye ! Goodbye !
-Excuse me, the gloves, that's why...
The MP snores.
M. Krazovski ?
The door creaks.
...
-I find myself all alone!
I'm unhappy !
While my friends, there,
they eat good fruit together!
And I find myself all alone!
Telephone.
...
Sorry,
but the deputy is not here at the moment!
*-Hello ?
-Samy?
*-Yes, Michael!
-Oh ! It's nice to hear from you!
- Yes, bah precisely, I come to see you, there.
-I'm waiting for you ! Come quickly !
*-See you soon.
-See you soon !
-Quoi ?
- Is that your CV?
-Yes.
-Unbelievable.
-It's your...
-It's my badge, yes.
- Yeah, well...
It seems that your deputy
was not re-elected, by the way...
It's politics, that...
-Hm.
-Hm.
-Hm.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Don't worry, go...
I have an interview with a French woman.
-Oh yeah ?
-First term, but super competent.
Very good potential.
- Wow, great! What's her name ?
-Valentine Cantel.
-Valentine Cantel.
- I'm going to make a star out of him.
-Yeah, that's it.
-And how is he, the...
Red mullet?
- Red mullet? No, it is flowery.
-No, no, no, he is red.
- No, no, he's fine.
-Be careful, your lace is undone!
-It's on purpose !
It's to make fools talk!
...
-Oui ?
-Excuse me,
I have an appointment with Mrs. Cantel.
- Oh, yes, yes!
She'll see you in a minute.
-Thanks a lot.
You want a...
A little help ?
Do you want help ? Because... -
No, but I'm getting there...
- No, but in fact, it's completely stupid...
You have to press all three buttons
at the same time.
-The three buttons?
-And There you go !
-It's impressive !
- Yes, well... I have two years of house.
-And suddenly, there...
- So, this
is live from the plenary...
-Yeah. Next ?
-Not many people today...
And that is the Commission's press conferences
.
-Et ?
- And back to square one.
There are only two channels!
The first time, I watched this
for seven hours straight,
I didn't realize they were broadcasting
the same images in a loop,
it was like I was stuck
in a space-time rift.
-No, but it's true
that there is something fascinating!
I find it hard to take my eyes off.
- By the way, a little trick...
I never told my former deputy
that it was image loops.
It saved me quite a few afternoons,
if you know what I mean...
-Who was your former deputy?
-Specklin. Michel Specklin.
-Ah oui !
The guy with the slightly red face there...
-Oh, flowery.
-And was it good ?
-In fact, if you want,
you have two types of deputies:
you have the psychopaths and the imbeciles.
Avoid those that combine both qualities
and you won't be doing too badly!
-Good, I believe that Valentine
will be able to receive you.
-Ok good. Thanks.
I'll put them there for you, huh?
-Yes.
-Excuse me, do you have coffee, by any chance?
-Nope.
-OK.
-Come in.
So...
Do you have a resume?
- Uh... Yes, yes!
-Yes ? Nope ?
- Yes, yes, I... -
Yes?
I don't mind.
-OK...
-Parfait.
So...
"Samy"...
So tell me about your previous
experiences in Parliament.
-So...
So, as I told you,
I've been in the house for two years,
I had a first experience
with Mr. Specklin, who, therefore...
Who was... Who was... Who ended...
We were working on the finning amendment,
that is to say the finning of sharks,
we succeeded in banning it.
That is to say
that it is a very common practice in...
It's in China.
- So I didn't understand anything.
- You got me, anyway!
Good game !
It's really a tactic...
-A psychopath?
-Yes No ! No no !
-A fool?
-Non !
I wanted to say...
- You know, Samy...
I snatched the vice-presidency of Parliament
from the Dutch this morning...
I came here to change Europe...
-Hm hm?
-Not for giving
pocket money to guys
who put in hobbies in their CV
"films, music and travels"
and who imagine that their incompetence
makes them sympathetic.
Then
you will greet Mr. Specklin for me...
See you next time !
-Yes.
And you will congratulate the Dutch
for me!
-Why ?
-No nothing.
-Yes Yes ! Why ?
- Which vice-president do you have?
- What do you mean, which one?
-Bah and at 14!
What did they trade you
for "the" vice-presidency?
-A coordinator position.
Samy chuckles.
- Okay... -
What?
Quoi, "OK" ?
It's a vice-presidency, after all!
- Oh yeah, that's great!
- Well yes, great. Nope ?
- A coordinator, he is in charge
of negotiating on behalf of his group
all the business
of its parliamentary committee,
he signs the press releases,
he can speak
in plenary...
The Deputy Speaker of Parliament,
he is in charge of...
to make the call,
the day in the year
when the president is absent, of course,
if he caught a gastro or a cold...
It's a chocolate medal.
Finally, congratulations,
Madam Vice-President!
Footsteps in the hallway come closer.
The footsteps recede.
And there, bam, I say to him:
"No, my casserole, I'll stop you right away.
"It doesn't work that way here.
You'll never get anything from the Dutch."
-That's a nice touch.
-Exactly !
But you know, she's an ambitious girl!
I will make her a star!
Oh... -
Yeah, it's funny.
- You haven't heard anything yet!
Damn, you're distracted!
- Yeah, I'm not focused.
-Yeah. It's true...
-Oh ! Good morning !
Sam spills his coffee.
-Whore ! I am sorry !
Sorry !
-It's nothing.
- I'm really sorry, I'm going to...
Damn, I'm sorry!
-How are you !
It's nothing, it'll be fine!
-And how are you ?
And what are you doing there?
-Uh... Torsten didn't tell you anything?
-Eh ?
-I asked him.
-Torsten ? Ce Torsten ? Non, non !
He didn't tell me anything, actually, but...
He is very reliable! It is reliable
for any job, in fact!
-Why didn't you tell her that...
-Listen, honey... You've done enough harm.
to that poor boy, okay?
-Difficulty ? She didn't hurt me at all!
- Yes, look at what you just did.
- Did you come back from California?
- Yes, I'm back!
-Yes yes !
-I arrived home safely !
-(Thin,
(Martin Kraft is looking for you everywhere!)
-Cool, I don't know who it is.
And you came back for good?
- For good, yes.
I'm back.
Sorry ?
-You told your MP
to refuse a vice-presidency?
-Not now, Torsten!
We will see presently!
Maybe we could go... -
Samy the shark!
How is it going ?
-Uh... Good.
-OK. Shall we go, sweetheart?
-Yes.
-Guido Bonafide addresses you
as if you were...
-Colleagues.
- And late.
-Yes.
-Of course, of course...
- Okay, here we go.
-I'll call you.
- Samy, you have to hide!
-What are you doing ?
-To be !
-Why didn't you tell me
that Rose was back?
-You're going to have big problems!
-I have no problems!
I'm more in love with her,
I burned all my poems...
-Listen to me !
You messed up the Germans' plan
for the nomination of the presidencies!
-What are you talking about ?
-It's on the German WhatsApp!
-Is there a WhatsApp group
for all Germans?
- No, they would be 80 million!
This is for those who work for the EU.
- Yes, it makes sense... -
I'm talking about the European presidencies!
You do not measure what you have done!
-Quoi ?!
What is that ?
The little circus of the presidencies
of the European Union.
*Carnival music.
*...
Good !
From what I know,
your deputy refused the vice-presidency
given to him
by the Dutch.
But it so happens that in Parliament,
the positions are distributed
by delegations
following a complex system
of points according to their size.
So the French centrists won
surprise points because of you,
which they used to obtain
another vice-presidency,
that of the business committee
economic and monetary.
And the Spanish socialists,
who had to have it,
chaired
the women's rights commission.
But the deputy Pablo Sanchez Correa
got angry, because he wanted
economic affairs at all costs.
He deduced that
it was a conspiracy directed against him
of the German Christian Democrats
and ensured
that the Dutch, allies of the Germans,
lose the Committee on Budgets.
What happened.
The Dutch then turned
against the Germans by withdrawing
their support for the presidency
of Parliament
and for their candidate Martin Kraft.
This is the most important part.
I want to talk
of Martin Kraft and his candidate.
So,
as the Germans did not have
the presidency of Parliament,
they refused that the French
have that of the European Commission.
The Poles asked
the post of High Representative of the Union
for Foreign Affairs,
which, moreover,
they were never going to have!
But to compromise,
an Eastern European
should have at least
a presidency of the European Council.
So the Czechs got it
instead of the Italians, who asked
the European Central Bank,
but for that they had to give up
management of the IMF in Washington,
which freed up a position.
And now, we are all waiting to see
how the Chinese will react.
Then yes !
Well, okay, I guess that part
is not up to you.
-Wow! It was amazing!
-Oh yeah ?
-Yeah !
Although, I'm sorry,
I couldn't hear a single word
you said,
I was so captivated by...
How long
did you work on all this?
-Two years.
-Two years ?
-Yeah.
-You worked two years on it
just to answer the question
of the attribution of the presidencies
of the European Union?
- Yeah, I was hoping that one day
someone would ask me.
-Wow! This is the craziest thing
I've ever seen!
It's very, very cool!
So the Germans are angry?
Yes and so ?
-No, it's Martin Kraft who is angry!
-I don't know who this Martin Kraft is!
-He is the chief of staff
of the last three presidents!
-OK. But what does
he want to achieve with all this?
-The power !
-To do what ?
-Nothing in particular !
He's just... German!
-Ah OK...
But he doesn't know who I am,
so I don't care!
Ah...
Let me guess.
That's Martin Kraft, right?
-Oui.
-And you told him about me?
-Oui.
- Yeah, he looks German.
-If this damn mess isn't fixed
in the next five minutes,
I will destroy you all!
Did you understand correctly?!
European anthem.
...
-May the joy that calls
us welcome us in its clarity!
Let joy and beauty awaken under his wing !
No more hatred on Earth,
may happiness be reborn.
All men are brothers
when joy unites hearts.
...
-Attends !
How are you ?
-Um yes.
Non.
I have to solve the problem of the
European presidencies before tomorrow evening,
otherwise this Martin Kraft will make sure
I never work here again.
-I see...
-And not just in Parliament,
in Europe !
-You can go to the UK!
-Can you imagine?
-Yes !
In effect.
- Yes, it's true, of course.
-I'm sorry,
I should have told you that I was going home.
- No, don't worry, it doesn't matter.
-I was just a little... Given
your last SMS...
-Yes... And how was it, Facebook?
-Uh... Yes... Well...
When you hear about
all these shootings,
we say
that they have a problem with weapons,
and they force-feed their kids
anxiolytics...
But that's not the question.
They are just...
extremely annoying.
-Yeah !
-Yes, they really
a problem with weapons,
but it's just that they are annoying,
the biggest problem.
-I'm glad you came back.
- Yes, me too,
I'm glad to see you again.
-Yeah.
-Yes.
This is...
-Hello !
-Okay...Oh!
-Health !
How are you ?
-Well...
I present to you my friend Rose.
Spanish.
-I do not speak Spanish.
-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
-Yeah...
It's Lydia. She's my... girlfriend... -
Yes.
-Let's go ?
-Yes of course !
So... See you soon, my friend!
-See you next time !
Hi !
-See you soon !
I'm starving!
Eamon hums.
-Ho-ho...
A new Parliament begins...
...