One Tree Hill (2003–2012): Season 7, Episode 14 - Family Affair - full transcript

Nathan tries to calm Haley down after Taylor and David's shock announcement that they are a couple and then through the ensuing dinner that Taylor plans out until all three James sisters find themselves in the pool fighting it out. David and Quinn talk and he agrees with her that their marriage is at an end. Julian takes offense to the director hired for his new film and fires him after he punches him for insulting Alex. Finally after talking to Brooke rationally and asking her to be the movie's costume designer she makes him see that he should direct the movie himself which he brings up with his father who agrees. Mouth and Lauren fix up the disheveled apartment after Millicent's recent partying and then tells Millicent he is staying in Tree Hill. Millicent and Brooke agree to try and be friends again.

Previously on One Tree Hill:

You are heading down
a dangerous path.

You don't have a job.

Your Honor, she does have a job.

She works for me.

How did we get the funding?

My father and l put up the money
because l believe in you.

All day, l've been trying to figure out
how l get past the you and Alex thing.

Maybe right now, you need to work
on you and l need to work on me.

Bye, Brooke.

Hey, Tay.

You remember David,
Quinny's ex-husband.

I prefer to call him my new boyfriend.

Haley, stop.

I was trying to wake up Taylor
and David.

You did. Along with
the rest of the neighborhood.

How long have you been up?

Since l dreamt that my sister was
screwing my other sister's husband.


Did you dream that too? Weird.
Did l kill them in yours?

No. You played it cool.

You were dreaming.
No way to play this cool.

This is the most uncool thing
Taylor's ever done.

Morning, kids.

Good morning, slut.
You can get your things and go now.

What's wrong?
Are you still mad about me and David?

That's so last night.

You like that outfit enough to get buried
in or you wanna go put something on?

It's nothing he hasn't seen before.

But if you insist.

Come on.
Aren't you gonna say something?

I love you?

Good morning.

Oh, we're late for the video game
shoot. We better get going.

- Have a good day, Hales. Love you.
- Bye, Mom.

This house is perfect for the movie.
How were you able to get it for free?

What can l say? l'm a great producer.

No. It's Lucas' house.
He said we could use it.

How's rehearsal going
with Alex Dupr??

I see she and Peter
are feeling each other out.

I think it's important for a director and
actor to establish boundaries early on.

I know he's a little high maintenance,
but the guy's talented.

The clock was ticking
and we didn't have much of a budget.

Alex. Alex Dupr?, this is my father,
Paul Norris.

- It's nice to finally meet you.
- Nice to meet you too.

I've seen you in the trades.

I've seen you in the tabloids.

That was the old me.

I shouldn't have to tell you how
important this film to Julian and myself.

You don't have to worry.
She's here to work.

Yep. l'm a professional.

You're certainly dressed like one.

Oh. Thank you. l picked it since
we don't have a wardrobe person.

Could we go to work, please?
- Bye.

I haven't hired
a costume designer yet.

Why not?

The person l wanted didn't work out.

Dare l ask what's in the box?

You're staring at it like
someone sent you a severed head.

It's Julian's stuff.

He broke up with me last night.

Oh, honey, l'm sorry, dear.

A head would have been
an improvement.

I wanna take it to him, but l just
don't think l can see him right now.

And l really don't wanna see Alex.

Even if her head were severed?

Stop talking about severed heads.

Okay, how about l take care
of the box?

We run a multi-million dollar company.

I'm sure we can afford a courier.

There's no need
for unnecessary drama.

Oh, before l forget.

Millicent is working with us again.
She'Il be in this morning.

So much for our security deposit.

Sorry about the mess.

I'Il clean it
when l get back from work.

I'm not worried about the place.

I'm worried about you.

Are you okay?

Not really, but l'm trying.

Have you thought about
going back to rehab?

Yeah, l've thought about it.

Well, let me know
if there's anything l can do to help.

How long are you staying?

I'm not sure. Maybe a day or two.

But you'Il be here when l get home?


That helps.

Come on. You cannot expect me
to honestly believe...

...that this thing between the two of you
is anything more than some sick joke.

What's so sick about it?
David's a great guy.

Quinn couldn't see it. l can.
Can't you just be happy for us?

What would make me happy
is throwing you out a window.

But l'm gonna settle for you
using the front door.

That's no way to treat your sister
and possible two-time brother-in-law.

Good morning, Haley.

Good morning.
Yeah. Don't morning me, David.

You'Il have to forgive my sister.
She's cranky this morning.

she'Il be in a better mood tonight.

David and l are cooking dinner
for everyone tonight.

No, that's not happening.
You can't... That's not happening.

Not tonight. Not ever.

Why not? Quinn already agreed to it.

I'Il see you tonight.

David... could you do this to Quinn?

It's no worse
than what she did to me.

I told him we slept together.


So now you want me to go to dinner
with your ex...

...who wants to kill me...

...and your sister,
who's obviously insane?

Yeah. You don't have to come
if you don't want to.

I just... l don't get it.

I know David wants to hurt you, but
why would your sister go along with it?

You have to know Taylor. When we were
kids, she tried stealing my boyfriends.

And now she's after my ex-husband,
so l guess she never grew up.

And that doesn't bother you?

A little.
But not nearly as much as that does.

See, how cool is your dad?

Not now, of course, but he is gonna
look great in this new video game.

When do l get to play?

The game won't be ready
for a month...

...but we should be able to get you
a prototype to play tonight.

- You look good covered in balls.
- Now l know how Taylor feels.

Hey. Speaking of, l take it you heard
about this dinner tonight?

Yes. l got a very angry text message
from my wife. You coming?

No, l think l have some work
to catch up on.

And Quinn's okay with that?

If Haley's pissed, l can't imagine
how upset Quinn must be.

It's strange, but she seems okay.

She was more upset by Kylie
showing up in my pool this morning.

Who is Kylie?

Some chick who took a whore bath
in Clay's pool this morning.

My God, Quinn. That's awful.

That must make you wanna rip David's
head off and punch Taylor in her face.

- You shouldn't let them get to you.
- How are they not getting to you?

David has a right to be upset
and Taylor's been a bitch.

So, what do you want me to do?

I don't know,
say no when they invite you to dinner.

Clay makes me happy, Haley.

Why shouldn't David be happy?

I mean, l can't imagine
that Taylor is the one for him.

If she is, l'Il deal with it.

Just like that?

If they wanna throw their relationship
in my face, it doesn't bother me.

No. Not right.

If Nathan and l got divorced and he and
Taylor showed up playing kissy-face...

...not only would l never see them
again, nobody else would either.

So you're saying l should kill them?

- It's a little extreme, don't you think?
- No, you're right.

Having dinner with them is so much
more sane. See you tonight.

How you holding up today?

Still upset, l see.

"Clothes over Psychos"
coming this fall to prisons everywhere.

Hi, Brooke.

Alexander Coyne.

Millicent Huxtable. Nice to meet you.

Do you need help with anything?

Just ask Victoria.

You work for her.

Wow, but you're a mean boss.
Like an evil Disney character...

...who feed her servants porridge
and pays them in buttons.

Lauren. Hi. What are you doing here?

Hey, l just talked to Antwon.
He said you were back in town.

Oh, looks like you had one hell
of a party. Sorry l missed it.

Yeah, l missed it too.

But at least l get to clean it.

You want some help?

We can pretend we're CSI
and recreate what happened.

I don't think l wanna know.

Oh, come on. It'Il be fun.

- First one who finds the couch wins.
- All right.

Can Chuck come over
and play the new game?

Of course. You two are friends again?

Yeah. We homies.

See? Sometimes friends, they fight,
get mad at each other...

...but then they make up.

Like Mom, Aunt Quinn
and Aunt Taylor?

Exactly. They're mad at each other now,
but eventually, it'Il blow over.

Hey, what's going on?

Well, let's see Taylor try and cook dinner
with no pots and pans.

You and Chuck play upstairs tonight.

I can't find Alex. Have you seen her?

Have you checked your hand?
It's usually on her ass.

- What do you need her for?
- l wanna put my hand on her ass.

Why don't you just leave her alone
and let her act?

What's the point of being with Alex
if l don't sleep with her?

The point is that's she's a great
actress who wrote an amazing script.

Sure. But it doesn't hurt that she's
gone down more times than the sun.

If you see her,
tell her l'm in my trailer.

Brooke thought you might want
your stuff back.

Sorry, man.

I don't appreciate you sending
your boy toy to deliver my stuff.

Well, l don't appreciate the dumping
you delivered, so l guess we're even.

You broke up with me when you left.
I had the nerve to call it what it was.

I didn't need to send an Alex
to do it for me.

I just needed some space.

Yeah. Well, you got it.

Hey there.

Oh, it's me by the way. Quinn.
Just in case you're wondering.

You never know who's gonna
stop by for a swim, right?

I'm sorry about this morning, Quinn.

I didn't know she was coming over
and it won't happen again.

Just her, or all the others too?

I don't know who you think l am.

I know exactly who you are.

Maybe who l used to be.

It's okay.
It's only been a couple of months.

I can't expect you to be
a different person.

No. But you can expect me to be
the type of guy that you can count on.

I'm coming with you tonight.



Wow, l didn't see that one coming.

You know what else
you didn't see coming?

No. No! Stop!

What are you doing?

I'm spoiling my appetite.

Haley, if you're so against this dinner,
then why did you agree to it?

It's a bad idea.

Of course it's a bad idea.
It's a terrible idea.

If Quinn and Taylor say
I should be fine, l'Il be fine.

- You seem fine.
- Oh, l am.

I'Il sit at dinner like the little angel
and say:

"Oh, that's so nice, Taylor.
Taylor, that's a really funny story.

Would you please pass the potatoes?"

Only there won't be any potatoes.

Hey, Brooke. What's up?


I was just feeling a little lost... l thought l'd come see
the most stable couple l know.

The suspect started here...

...but he couldn't hold his liquor
so he stashed the wounded soldier...

...made a dash for the bathroom.

How would you know that?

Splatter pattern.

It looks like he projectiled
from over there.

- That is really gross.
- Yeah.

You can clean that up.

So are you here for good?
Or is this just a visit?

I'm not sure. l only left because
Millie and l were having problems.

I thought it'd do me some good.
Out of sight, out of mind.

Did it work?


She was just out of sight.

I'Il clean the vomit.

That makes me sick. Taylor is awful.
I thought Alex was a bitch.

Yeah. l know, right?

Don't worry about Alex.
Julian loves you.

He stayed in Tree Hill
to make his movie.

He made it very clear today
he does not wanna see me anymore.

He is probably just upset.

You guys are way too good together
not to make it.

Just give it some time.

Okay. Fine.

Don't worry about this dinner.
It's gonna be over before you know it.

Nathan's betting
we don't make it through.

He said l'm gonna attack Taylor
before salad.

Can you blame him?

You've been arrested more times
than anyone l know, Jailey.

I hate my name.


Let the wild rumpus start.

- Thanks, Hales.
- Yeah.

Lt'Il be okay.

Enjoy your last supper, Judas.

If you're gonna act like a porn star, the
least you can do is take your clothes off.

Oh, hold on. Okay, Alex, come here.

We're in the middle of rehearsal here.

- Are you okay?
- No.

He's hitting on me. When l wouldn't
say hello to his little friend...

...he got mad
and said l wasn't right for the part.

- l think he's trying to make me quit.
- l'Il take care of it. Just do your best.

- Could you do me a favor, Peter?
- l'm not big on favors.

Then l'Il make it an order.
Take it easy on Alex.

Maybe you could give her some
direction instead of just yelling at her.

Whatever you say, boss.

Let's take it from the top.

Chuck's here, buddy.

So where's this brand-new game
that's not even out yet?

Right here. It's really cool.

We'Il see. l get to be your dad.

Nice to have you back, Chuck.


- Not using the good silverware?
- Good silverware is for good people.

Lucky l'm not making them
eat off the floor.

Are you gonna be civil tonight?

Just try, Haley, please.
It's only one night.

Look, we've weathered Dan's crap
for years. This should be easy.

Got it.

You must be Quinn's boyfriend.

And you must be her crazy sister.

I'm not crazy.

I love him.

He's all l ever dream about and l
don't care if anybody else gets that.

So l'm going back to him.

That's awful, just awful.

Can't you do anything right?

Obviously not. Cut deeper next time.

How was that for direction?

When he comes to, tell him he's fired.

Okay, let's get this over with.

Can we say grace first?

You're religious now?

Well, l have been calling out
God's name a lot lately.

Thank you, God,
for my wonderful family...

...for the food
that we're about to receive.

And for David.

His chest, strong arms...

...home theater...

Oh, she does love the home theater.

- Amen.
- Amen.

- Amen.
- Amen.


How's your hand?

Better than his head.

Thanks for sticking up for me.

You've had to do that a lot lately.

I'm pretty sure nobody thinks
I can do this movie.

Since when do you give a crap
about what anybody else thinks?

It's just...

What if l screw up?

You won't.

Have some faith in yourself.
I do.

I won't let you down.

I know.

What was l saying?

You said, "Watch this."

So l think we're all curious.

How exactly did you two
get together?

Glad you asked.

It was just another boring day
at the gym...

...when, who should accidentally walk
into my stripper aerobics class?

- David?
- Oh.

Quinny's got herself a smart one.

Yes, David.

He was so embarrassed to leave,
he stayed the entire class.

And it was quite a workout.

I gave him a private session
later that night.

And the rest, as they say, is sex.

I'm really happy you two found
each other.

- Lf nobody else is gonna say it, l will.
- Please don't, Haley.

Taylor, at any point
did it occur to you:

"Hooking up with
my sister's ex-husband...

...that might be kind of insensitive
and whorish"?

- Funny, no.
- David, you and Quinn just got divorced.

How can you sleep with someone
so soon? Especially our sister.

You wanna talk insensitive
and whorish?

Quinn had sex with this bozo
when we were still married.


Actually, uh...

...we've never had sex.

I just told you that we did.

- Yes, Nate, l would love another beer.
- Good idea.

Boy, can you clear a room?

- David.
- How could you lie to me about that?

Because you weren't letting go.

I needed you to move on and the only
way you'd do it if you hated me.

Well, mission accomplished.

I do hate you.

- David, listen to me.
- Say what you want about Taylor.

At least she's been honest with me.

Man, l thought contract negotiations
were tense.

It is insane in that room.

And David's bigger than l remember.

So you really haven't slept with her?

Shut up, man.

- l like her.
- l can tell.

You came here
instead of hiding out somewhere.

Yeah, l thought l owed her that much.
Especially after the whole Kylie thing.

Hey, l don't suppose that we could just
hide in here for a while and not go back.

- Probably not.
- Ah.

You're the one who added falling
in love with Quinn to my contract.

Probably you should have added sex
to that too, huh?

Why did you send Alexander
to drop off Julian's stuff?

He's really upset.

What happened to,
"no need for unnecessary drama"?

Well, that drama was very necessary,

To show you he had feelings for you.
Whatever you do with that is up to you.

- Mother.
- All right. Enough said.

I'Il keep out of it.

Now, on to other business.

Millicent, you're shutting her out.

What do you care?

Well, l've never been a fan of Millicent,
but she was always there for you.

She believed in you
when your mother didn't.

And now she needs someone
to believe in her.

More importantly, she needs a friend.

No, she doesn't. She has you.

I am not the friend type.

Now l know who Clay reminds me of.

Who was that guy
that you dated freshman year?

Dan Thompson.

Whatever happened to him?

You told him you'd sleep with him
if he broke up with me. So he did.

And then you did.

That's right. l'm the sister
who actually sleeps with guys.

Do they give you a medal for that?
Or just a shot?

We have cupcakes for dessert
in case anybody wants some.

I bought them for Jamie, but Taylor
doesn't have a problem taking stuff.

I wish l could be like you, Haley.
Just eat whatever l want and get fat.

- Your lip is about to get fat.
- That's enough. l can't take this.

If anybody needs me, l'Il be upstairs with
the kids having a more mature conversation.

Your dad sucks.

- Excuse me?
- Chuck says your character isn't good.

I said he sucks.

And he hasn't even made
one basket yet.

Well, l'm sure my character is fine.

Why am l crying?

Because you got dunked on three times
and then a fan threw a soda at you.

I thought you were
supposed to be good.

I was.

I am.

Give me this.

I heard you fired Peter.

Yeah, l haven't had a great day.

I also heard you knocked him out.

His day was worse.

You seem to be moving backwards
as a producer.

We start filming in a week.

You have no costume designer,
you knocked out my director.

In fact, all you do have
is an unreliable, uninsurable actress.

We've both invested a lot of money
in this movie.

Find a way to fix it.

Hey, why couldn't l do that?

I guess only a Scott can play a Scott. Oh.

Come on, come on, come on.

Boom. Game.

Eat that, Chuck. Who sucks now?

You do.



When you're done
with your mature conversation...

...can l talk to you for a second?

Will you talk to David?

Will you help him realize that what
he's doing is wrong? Please. Please.

Okay, yes. l'Il be right down.

- Okay. Thank you.
- l'Il be down in a sec.

All right, guys.
I gotta head back down.

Everyone's still fighting?

Afraid so.

Dude, your family is lame.

Hey, you.

I shouldn't have lied to David.

Quinn, don't beat yourself up.

Look, l think everyone has done things
in their pasts they regret.

I know l have...

...he said about Kylie.

It makes it hard when our pasts
are swimming in our pools...

...and cooking us dinner.

I know.

What's up?

What? What's so funny?

Just tell me you know
how messed up this is.

I was just trying to show Quinn...

Yes. It's messed up.

That's all l wanted to hear.

So you're not mad?

Well, l can't say l totally support
what you're doing...

...but l also didn't like
the way Quinn handled things, so...


I gotta say that you are handling this
way better than l would have.

It helps that you're here with me.

Thank you.

I'm happy to be here.

But l'm also happy to leave.

- l'm just saying...
- Yeah.


So are you really into Taylor
or was this all just to get back at Quinn?

We're actually having fun together.

She's the first person who's made me
smile in longer than l can remember.

Well, that's good.

Make sure you like her
for the right reasons...

...and not because she reminds you
of her sister.

- So we're cool?
- Yeah.

But if Haley asks,
I yelled at you and you're sorry.

I am.

The place looks great. Thank you.

Yeah, just don't ever look
under the third cushion.

There are bad things under there.

Oh, how lame is it that l actually
had fun cleaning?

Can you tell l'm starved for company?

I know how you feel.

I don't know anyone in L.A.
Besides Skills...

...and l barely see him
because he's so busy.

Being alone sucks.

Skills misses you.
You know that, right?

I know.

It's just...

Being alone sucks.


I'm sorry about this morning.

I'm sorry too.

I should have brought the box
to you myself.

But l just thought
it would be too hard to see you.

That makes
what l wanna ask difficult.

The movie shoots in a week
and we don't have a costume designer.

And we don't because l was planning
on asking you when you got back.

Which is why l'm asking you now.

We just broke up.

I know. Good timing, huh?

But you're the only one l trust.

I need the best for this movie.

I would love to help you
but l don't know if l can do that.

Just think about it, okay?

You don't even have to look at me
if you don't want to.

Okay. l'Il think about it.



I'm sorry,
we were wrong to come here.

Thank you. That means a lot, David.

Don't apologize.
We haven't done anything wrong.

You know, maybe David hasn't...

...but you have been a problem
your whole life, Taylor.

When Haley got her first period, you
tried to convince her she was dying.

You told crazy Uncle Frank
that l had a crush on him.

Oh, and in high school, you had sex
in mom's car and told her it was me.

Well, to be fair,
it was with your ex-boyfriend.

Now you're sleeping with David.

Why are you mad about going after
Quinn's leftovers? You went after mine.

I want you to admit
that what you're doing is wrong.

- No. Say you're happy for me.
- Taylor, l am so sick of...

Taylor, you're such a bitch
to everybody your whole life!


Give us your blessing.
Get off of her. Aah!


Dude, l take it back.
Your family is cool.

I got 5 bucks on my mom.

Oh, yeah.

If Nathan hadn't stopped the fight, l'd
have one less Christmas card to send.

I wouldn't get another Christmas card
of Jamie dressed as an elf?

- Whatever would l do?
- Enough already. Just stop.

Just stop, please.

Did you get what you wanted?

Are you satisfied now?


Just promise me
you won't hurt David.

Like you did?


He's been through enough.

He doesn't need you pretending
to like him to get to me.

Who's pretending? l do like him.



Fine. Fine. No. No, it's not fine.
It's not fine.

What is wrong with you two?

I'm happy. Quinn's happy.
What do you want?

I want you to admit
that you're a bitch.

That's fair.

Fine. l'm a bitch.


What's going on?

I don't know. They're not trying
to kill each other anymore.

That's good, right?

If those three can work through
their differences, then maybe...

Not a chance.


You holding up okay?

I'm getting there.

Marvin came back last night.

That's great.

It must be hard to see him
after everything that's happened.

It is.

But it was harder not seeing him.


Can you help me with this?



You leaving?

I never should have come.

I'm sorry l lied to you.

I did it
because l wanted you to be happy.

Are you happy?

I'm getting there.

Are you happy?

I am.


...this is yours.

Just maybe don't give it to Taylor.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I'Il be okay.


You didn't have to do all this.

You shouldn't be living this way.

So are you leaving soon?

No. l think l'm gonna stay for a while.



Because you shouldn't be alone.

You really think l'm the best?

Of course you are.

So let me get this straight.

I'm better than everybody else on the
planet who could possibly do this job?

- That's right.
- Hmm.

Well, l guess if l am the best
and you need the best...

...then l have to do it.

It wouldn't be fair otherwise.

When do l start?

As soon as l find a director.

You don't have a director?

Did you hire anyone for this movie?

The last guy didn't work out.


What a shame.

Too bad you don't know anyone
who's always wanted to direct...

...who knows the movie really well.

I'm thinking someone
who's name rhymes with Schmulian.

You know anyone like that?

Hmm. l don't think my dad
would go for that.

You know, l've never directed before.

Make him go for it.

Tell him you hired the best
costume designer on the planet...

...and she'Il only work with you
if you direct.

Because P.S., that's now the deal.

Have your people call my people.

Another blast from your past?

Well, l had the locks changed today.

Thanks for sticking through dinner.
I know it was a pretty miserable time.

I kind of actually enjoyed it.

- Keys to your house, sir.
- Thank you very much.

Now you will be the only person
with a key to my place.

You and the maid, that is.

You don't have to do this.

Yeah, but l wanted to do something to
show you how important you are to me.

I've said it, but you have proof
in case you ever forget.

I was just lucky l was able to find
a locksmith on such short notice.

You're about to get even luckier.

Finally. Can we tell everyone
at the next dinner?


Come on.

Thank you, Jessica.

I made a list of directors who won't
mind working with a suicidal actress...

...and psychotic producer
for minimal pay.

I wanna direct.

I know this movie,
I know how to deal with Alex...

...and l got you to keep me on track.

What do you think?

You were at the top of the list.

We have less than a week
before we roll. Better get to work.

Yes, sir.

I cannot wait to get into bed.

To forget about this awful, awful day.

Why? It was a good day.

What was good about it?

Well, of all the crazy drama today,
none of it was ours.

There are no psycho women
stalking me or my family.

There are no contract problems.
There's no Dan.

I'd take a million days like today.

Yeah, l guess you're right.
It was a good day.



Your family's crazy.

What time does Scott-free come on?

Oh, nice.