Nurse Jackie (2009–2015): Season 4, Episode 10 - Handle Your Scandal - full transcript

Previously on Nurse Jackie...

I'm a drug addict. I'm around
drugs for 60 hours a week. Come on.

If I'd gone home, I would
have ground it and snorted it

before I got through
the front door.

Promise me you're
not gonna fire her.

I promise.

Gloria and Eddie
were fired last night.

Fuck. Cruz?

You want to fire me? Go
ahead. Nobody's looking.

I don't need to fire you.
You're a drug addict.

Only a matter of time
before you fuck up again.



I told you I wanted
to go to public school.

I wasn't kidding.

You have a donor! And
he went to my camp!

Are you okay? You're wheezing.

It's asthma.

Thor! Will you escort
Dr. Cruz up to pulmonary?

And if he faints, will
you please carry him?

Start by calling the
agency. I want six nurses,

one in admitting,
five on the floor.

Cruz won't authorize that.

Who the fuck is in
charge of this place?

I am. I'm in charge.

Hey, hey, sweetheart!

What the fuck?



Dr. Cruz, you're awake.

Nobody told me I was sleeping.

Don't pull your leads out.
Let me get the doctor for you.

I am the doctor.

Yep, okay.

I'll be right there.

Be right where?

The Jesus statue. Temp nurses.

Oh, my God, two days in a
row. We'll get so much done.

That is the plan.

Can I do it? Can
I do it, please?

'Cause you got
to do it yesterday.

Oh.

Okay. Fine.

But do me a favor, Zoey, please?

Try and be cool.

Like I need to try.

You will keep track of your patients
with a notebook or a notepad,

which you will keep on
your person at all times.

Every two hours,

whichever one of
you types the fastest

will enter everyone's
information into the computer,

so penmanship counts.

Also whoever does
the typing gets a prize.

We don't need prizes.

You're in my world now,
and in my world there's prizes.

Straight up.

Y'all better come
back with some Jell-O.

Copy that.

There will be a meal-cart
station at the end of the hallway.

If it's empty, just
move it to the side

and call down to
the kitchen, 9385.

Godspeed and skedaddle.

Jell-O!

Is lime okay?

Oh, hell, no.

It never is.

You had a cardiac episode.

Yeah, well, I'm better now.

Wait. How long
have I been up here?

You spent the night.

Fuck!

I know the doctor
wants to talk to you.

Tell him to make an appointment.

Sam, off your ass. Replenish
the kid's fluids in five.

Did it. Did you write it down?

Yep. He gave it to
me. It's in the computer.

Then I don't need both
of you on the keyboard.

Sam, check the
gurneys in the hall.

On it.

What's next?

Pediatric fever. Down to 99.

And the dad? Definitely
not freaking out.

Gave him a crossword
and a Cup-a-Soup.

Family lounge. Easy peasy.

How are we doing with
the gurneys? Down by half.

You're kidding me. Nope.

And the rest have meal trays.

Dude, you might be a genius.

Might be? Holy shit.

What? Somebody just thanked me.

As in, "Thank you."

Where am I?

Shit works.

Hey, who's your friend?

Janice. Hey, Janet,
how you doing?

Who authorized this?

Couldn't tell you.
Yeah, you could.

So, O'Hara's baby daddy.

Robbie Plunkett.

He's not a baby daddy,
he's an anonymous donor.

If you tell her who it is, she
will never speak to you again.

How does a guy iron a
shirt while he's still in it?

Makes total sense to me. I used to
smooth out my ties with a flat iron.

You had a flat iron?

I was going for
the spikey look. Grr.

Robbie Plunkett, that's huge.

Six phone calls. Boom,
Robbie Plunkett. Mystery solved.

Leave it alone, Coop.

I know, but it's
bubbling up inside me.

You better get it out of your
system before you see O'Hara.

Ah, Plunkett, Plunkett,
Plunkett, Plunkett.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck it.

You are unraveling, Coop. No.

Stop. Cruz.

What? Cruz.

Oh, fuck.

I got it.

Coop, don't. Just...
Where's he going?

No place good.

Hey, you're wearing the same tie
as yesterday. Late night on the town?

You authorize these nurses?

I'm not authorized to authorize,
unless I am and I didn't know.

You're not.

Check it out, though.

Beds and meds, floor is
clear, admit's in a groove.

Hey, Peyton!

Hey, listen closely, okay?

Burns are the worst.

They're gonna change your
dressing every six hours or so.

Make sure to ask for
IV pain medication.

Sometimes they forget.

Hang in there, sweetie, okay?

Oh, uh, get an ironing board.

Did I mention the
charts are all up to date?

You don't have to scream.
I'm standing right over here.

In my office now.

Isn't there something
about going to

a second location
with a gunman, or...

You want to do this
here, right now? Sure.

Jacks. No, it's all right.

Yeah, hotshot's got it.
She's fine. Aren't you?

I don't know. You
tell me. Look around.

Shit's under control.

Yeah, under whose control?

You know, does it
really fucking matter?

Yeah, it really fucking does.

Fine.

My control.

It's under my control.

"Jackie Peyton, RN."

That's it. That's the
scope of your powers.

Can I have my badge, please?

You're a nurse.

A totally replaceable,
too-high-on-the-pay-scale nurse.

You think I give
a shit that you got

a union right now?
'Cause I don't.

Don't do it, man.
Stay out of it.

Don't say another word, either
of you. He can't fire you, Jackie.

Doctors can't fire nurses.

As head of All Saints, I can
fire whoever the hell I want.

Give me my badge back.

Oh, you know what? For the
love of God, go fuck yourself!

There you go. That's
what I was looking for.

Hey, put it in your scrapbook.

You're fired.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Cruz!

Stop it, both of you.
Get her out of here.

Shut it down.

Take a look around, Mike.

I'm still in charge.

Come on, you. Let's
handle your scandal.

Shut it down!

I hate that guy! I
fucking hate him!

He deserves every bad
thing that ever happens to him.

You need to simmer down.
Everything was fine until I got sober.

How many times, huh? How
many times did I tell you that?

All right, you need to call
your union rep immediately

and your lawyer.

What are you doing?

Having a contraction
while trying to

talk you off the
ledge. Not easy.

Okay.

Number one, contractions in
the eighth month, totally normal.

Just stay off your
feet. Number two,

if I go out and get
loaded, he wins.

Not gonna happen.

I didn't want you to have
to come back to the station.

That was really
kind of you, Zoey.

What's this for?

Your tears, sweetheart.

Dr. O'Hara can't
afford a box of tissues.

You can't leave me.

Oh, honey, where am I
going? We live together.

It's okay.

Hey, Joe, how you doing?

Hey, Jackie.

Sorry about this.

I don't want you riling shit
up at the nurses' station.

You're gonna get a week before
you come back for your exit interview.

Is that right? Yeah,
that's exactly right.

Nice way to keep a
promise to your kid.

What?

She said, "Nice..."
Yeah, I heard her.

Yeah, you heard me.

This is between you and me,

so you can leave
Charlie out of it.

He's got nothing to do with it.

You fuck with the
bull, you get the horns.

And frankly, I don't give
a shit what my kid wants.

That right there, that's the
difference between you and me.

Hey, eighth grade science?

Up the stairs, end
of the hall. Thanks.

Sorry, guys. Sorry, Sister.

Grace, honey, come
on. Get your stuff.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Peyton.
We're in the middle of...

Of frog stuff. Yes, I see that.

Mom, you're totally
embarrassing me.

I know, I'm sorry.

Let's get out of this place.

If you don't want to be here,
you don't have to be here.

You can't just... Mrs.
Peyton! Doing it. Sorry.

Grace, sit back down.

Come on, Grace.
Sorry, Sister, you're fired.

That was amazing.

And it's something I should
have done a long time ago.

And for that, I'm very sorry.

Wow. I'm really out of there?

Yes, you are
really out of there.

Um, which makes two of us,

because Mom got fired.

What? What did you do?

Um...

Well, I told my boss
to go fuck himself,

which you only do if you
really, really, really mean it.

And if he really, really, really
deserves it, which he did.

So...

Oops.

Oh, my heavens.

Excited?

I know a bunch
of the girls already.

Just so you know, some
of them wear eyeliner,

but not all of them,
so don't be a freak.

Ah, honey, moms are
freaks. They can't help it.

Oh, crap. I'm
still in my uniform.

Ah, I know, honey. Me, too.

When we get home, we'll put
them on the grill and burn them.

Look at you in your jacket
and your punky boots.

You look great.

Hi. You ready?

Thanks for waiting. Gil Carruth.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Jackie Peyton.
This is Grace.

She'll be joining
the eighth grade.

Hi. Nice to meet
you, young lady.

Her dad did all the paperwork. I
was supposed to call last week.

Okay, let's see... Eighth grade.

Um, we still need
proof of address,

then we can start her next week.

Okay, proof of address. I
have electric, water and cable.

She can start today.

Yeah, I quit my other school
and I don't want to fall behind, so...

I'm in the district. Legally,
you have to take me.

She's a smart kid.

Okay, then, a
motivated eighth-grader.

All right, well, here we go.
Let's find you a homeroom.

I can take it from here.

Thanks.

Oops, let me get these.
I still have to pay them.

Oh. Thank you.

Mom? Yeah?

I know.

God grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to
change the things I can.

And the wisdom to know
the difference. Amen.

Hey, guys. Hi. I'm sorry. I
know you're winding up here,

but my name is Jackie.
I'm a drug addict-alcoholic.

Hi, Jackie.

Um...

I just got fired, I'm in
the middle of a divorce,

I just put my kid
in a new school.

I just... The wheels are
kind of coming off the wagon.

I needed to check
in and say hey.

Well, hey, and welcome.

A couple of us are going for
coffee if you'd like to join us.

No, I'm good. I'm gonna
meet some friends at a bar.

Thanks.

I'll call Lily Chung
at Bellevue.

You'll have a job within a week.

Look at me, I'm breathing.

Look at me, I'm drinking.

Hey, barkeep?

Barkeep? Did you say "barkeep"?

I'm trying to go back in time.

To 1911?

What'll it be, guys?

Bourbon. Beer.

I'll have a Shirley Temple.

Did I just say "Shirley
Temple"? That was me?

Text.

Me, too. Zoey.

Zoey from the trenches.

Hey, where's mine?

No way. EDDIE: What
the fuck are they doing?

It's a candlelight vigil.

Oh, my God, they
are such idiots.

Will you call them and
tell them to knock it off?

The place is full of oxygen.

Kaboom. Kaboom.

Oh, my heavens. Kaboom.

Kaboom.

Yes, kaboom.

Hypothermia on the way. ETA
10 and counting. Page O'Hara.

Anybody want to tell
me what's going on?

Thor?

Um... Where there's
smoke, there's fired.

That was nice.

Zoey? Hmm?

Why are you stroking your belly?

I don't know.

It looked soothing, I guess.

Why? Is it weird?

No.

If you've just eaten
an enormous meal

and planning on taking
a long winter's nap,

not weird at all.

Are you tired of people
touching your... You know?

My stomach?

Why, do you want to?

I think it will make
me feel better.

Well, he's sleeping,
but go ahead.

Oh, my God.

That was like a head butt.

Ah.

That wasn't him, that was me.

Like a contraction?

It wasn't because of me, was it?

No, no, it's not 'cause of
you. I'm not going into labor.

Ooh.

It's a mini contraction.

It's completely normal.

Mmm, it didn't feel mini.

Yeah, not in front of company.

19-year-old female,
fell off a tourist cruise.

Rescue fished her
out of the Hudson.

LOC, hypothermic,
pulse is weak and tachy.

How long was she
exposed? Anyone's guess.

Shivering in the rig
and then nothing.

Body temp? Too
low to get a reading.

Oh, shit.

Like Heidi Klum says,

"In fashion, you are
either in or you are out."

Yeah, well, I'm out.

Um,

call up ICU, tell them
to start warming fluids.

500 cc's, 5% dextrose,
39 degrees Celsius.

Dr. Cooper?

See how fast I can
be here? Just saying.

Duly noted.
Hypothermic to the ICU.

Okay.

And, Coop?

If you are half as bright
as you are handsome,

you'll have no trouble in
finding out who the donor is.

Please don't.

I'm not that bright.

Cross your fingers I
don't kill the patient.

Robbie Plunkett, over and out.

What?

Think before you speak.

I know. That's what I'm doing.

Looks like a passport.

Kind of it is.

It's a map to the
people who work for you.

It has their birthdays,
anniversaries,

things that make them happy,
things that make them sad,

who cries when a patient dies,

who makes a joke
and then cries in private.

Things you should know.

Why are you giving me this?

You expect us to
be good at our job.

We expect the same of you.

A lot of drawings mixed in here.

Dazzle camouflage.

I can't just hand you
the keys to the kingdom.

That would make me a traitor.

You want it, you
gotta work for it.

Except for the look on Zoey's
face. That was a little rough.

The rest of it,
a blaze of glory.

Shit! I wish I had
been there to see it.

O'Hara dragging
you off the floor.

Eight months pregnant
in a pair of Uggs.

Oh, speak of the devil.

Hello, I'm sitting in a
bar with Eddie and Gloria.

Hey.

I'm alone and I'm in labor
and I'm afraid to move.

Okay, honey, stay calm.

First things first, did
you call your doctor?

She's on holiday. I'm
not due for another month.

I can't give birth here, Jackie.
I can't. Anywhere but here!

Anywhere on God's
green Earth, but not here.

Okay, not in your office. Right.

Eleanor, it's
Gloria. Listen to me.

All Saints has a
first-rate maternity center.

I oversaw the remodel and the
hiring of every single person in it.

I'm calling Dr. Beetle. There's no
one better for preterm deliveries.

Get your ass up there and
demand the Panda Birthing Suite.

I spilled a bottle of holy water
in it during the renovations.

It's where you want to be.

God, someone's got to get
over here! I can't do this alone.

Okay, honey, stay where you are.

You're not gonna
like this, but I'm

gonna call Coop to
help you get upstairs.

Oh, God!

Like it or not, honey,
he's a very good doctor.

And he's probably more
prepared for this than you are.

All right, fine. All right. Yes.

Please call him.

Okay.

Come on, we'll take my bike.

Wait, wait, wait. Can you stop
by the house and pack a bag?

Yes, of course.

Something ravishing,
but comfortable.

Preferably nothing that stains.

Use your judgment.

Son of a bitch, her shoes
are living better than I do.

All I want is a robe
and some sweats.

Everything in here has
sparkles and fucking fur.

Grab anything, I guess.

What about this?
Is this a nightie?

That's a ball gown.

It's comfortable. Grab it.

Shoes, don't forget
shoes. You get the shoes.

I'm gonna get a toothbrush
and some face stuff. Here.

Jesus.

Uh, none of this shit is
in English. I can't speak...

This could be hair
removal, shoe polish. No.

It's okay if you throw
up in front of me.

No, it's not. It's really not.

Contractions are
two minutes apart.

My kitchen's still in
boxes and my nursery's

not set up for
another two weeks.

What am I gonna do?

I'll come stay with you,
just till you get a night nurse.

I'll be your manny.

No. Oh, no.

I've got to do this on my
own, Coop. I really do.

Oh, God.

Anyway, there's no
room. I'm sleeping on a cot.

So I'll sleep on the floor in a
sleeping bag, like Camp Tonka Bear.

You can snuggle up
with the baby on the cot.

It'll be very bondy,
like the olden days.

Wait.

Hello?

Yes, Jackie?

Yes, he is. Wait.

Wait, wait, wait. Wait.

Cruz is gonna try and stop you.

Um, I'll send Coop. All right.

Yeah.

Jackie's downstairs.
Can you bring her up?

Am I being traded in?

Not at all.

Oh, my God!

Oh, God, it's a
Jackie impersonator.

Can you go and
get her and tell her

she's got to come and sit by
me until the real one gets here?

Go, go!

No, no, she went that way!

Please.

Where's Cruz? He's in
exam flushing an eye.

Keep him occupied.
O'Hara's in labor.

Walk quietly. I recommend
capezios or a tiptoe.

Jackie, it's amazing! Hurry
up, she's dilated to eight!

I heard that. Where is she?

Nope. Get your hands off me!

Here, take this up to maternity.

Tell her I'll be
there in a second.

I'm not going up
there without you.

I told you to steer
clear for a week.

You'd better calm yourself down

before you keel
over again, okay?

I'm going up to maternity.
It's a free country.

You're not going anywhere.

Man, O'Hara's in
labor. I don't give a fuck.

Ambulance pulling up, overdose.

CPR, defib in the field,
lost the pulse again.

I got it.

I want you out of here the minute
that kid is born. Understand?

Come on, let's go!

Come on, let's go.

Coop, you can't go up
there. You gotta go to trauma.

What are you talking
about? He just said...

Take this up to maternity.
I'll be there in a second.

What are you fucking...
Do you ever fucking listen?

Are you kidding me?
Who do you think you are?

You don't even work here and
yet you're calling all the shots?

Coop, trauma now.

Stay right there! Cooper, now!

God damn it, doesn't
anybody listen to...

Come on, you're
doing this with me.

We got it.

You did all that you could.

Get them out of here.

You've got a lot
of fucking nerve.

I'm sorry. Not you, him.

Charlie, honey.

Don't say his name.

It's not yours to say.

Charlie?

Charlie?

Charlie?

Leave us alone.

Charlie.

He's beautiful.

You made it. I made it.

Oh, my.

I fucking made it.