Nurse Jackie (2009–2015): Season 3, Episode 7 - Orchids and Salami - full transcript
Jackie soothes Grace's anxiety about the upcoming saint pageant. Kelly continues to win over the All Saints crew. Zoey connects with a twelve-year-old boy whose mother was brought in as a drug overdose. A Native American patient momentarily lifts Coop's depression. Jackie pockets a Fentynal delivery that was meant for Oncology. Kevin confronts Jackie with the dental floss/drug stash he found.
Previously on Nurse Jackie...
Lift the bottom.
FYI, he is in an awesome mood.
He found out you're
going to those meetings.
Well, what can I say? It
works if you work it, right?
I was doing so good.
And then, pow! Divorce.
Pow! I wanna be chief.
Pow! I wreck my foot.
I'm not handing over the
First Lady visit without a fight.
We got to get
out in front of this.
I scoured the budget
and hired a temp.
Don't eat him alive.
My name's Kelly. You're at All
Saints. You're gonna be okay.
Sorry if I muscled
in on your gunshot.
I didn't notice.
Oh, Percocet. O'Hara's gunshot.
Kelly picked it up, then came
back, swapped it out for Motrin.
My heart's going really fast.
Can you check my pulse?
Sure, sweetie. Come here.
I'm sorry.
Oh, honey, there's
nothing to be sorry for.
I'm glad you're
here. You know why?
Why?
Because now we can have
midnight cocoa. How does that sound?
It's not midnight.
Well, then we can have 2:00
a.m. cocoa. That's even better.
This one had her throat cut.
This one was skinned alive.
And this one was
rolled on hot coals.
"Gruesome Saint Deaths."
That's some pretty scary stuff,
sweetie. It's no wonder you can't sleep.
It's not scary.
It's our religion.
There are more
than 10,000 saints.
What if I choose the
wrong one for the pageant?
May I?
Pick a saint, any saint at all.
I'm Saint Barbara.
What's so funny? Saint
Barbara's a girl, Dad.
Really? Aw, shoot.
Okay, my turn.
There we go. This guy.
Saint Isidore, patron
saint of the Internet?
What? Who knew?
All right, sweetie, your turn.
No, thanks.
I need to you to
wake me up by 7:00.
You want me to tuck you back in?
I'm 11, Mom.
Yes, yes, you certainly are.
7:00 a.m. it is.
Don't forget.
We got it.
Hot coals.
Hmm.
Fuck, I'm tired.
You're a good
mom. You know that?
Yes, I do.
I see you already
have your morning fix.
Two hundred bucks
for five pills? Really?
Supply and demand, babe.
And you know I gave you six.
Hey, Jackie. You're
a friend of Bill's?
I don't know what or who
you're talking about, Sam.
That guy back in the
diner you were hugging.
He's, like, the best
sponsor in the world.
He's legendary. He's an
epileptic I helped a long time ago.
He is not a friend. I don't
know him. End of story.
I'm sorry. I'm just jumping
back into the program, you know.
Man, today this one chick told a
story about her boyfriend OD'ing.
And she was so strung out. She,
like, stole the drugs off his dead body
before she calls 911.
So fucking bleak.
Oh.
Hello.
Do you mind? No, not at all.
It's private.
I can wait. Sam,
it's my husband.
Oh, sorry.
Jesus Christ.
Are you meditating?
Kind of. Word on the street is
Kelly Slater runs to work shirtless.
Oh...
I shall wait with you.
That was fun last night, hanging
with Kelly, Peace Corps style.
I can't believe he
paid for everyone.
Who ever heard of a rich nurse?
"Not I," said the fly.
You know, I used to have a big
problem with him until last night
when he paid for all my
drinks and a French onion soup.
I saw Sean Penn in his contacts.
Yeah. They hung in Haiti. He
told me all about it. They text.
Incoming.
Jackie.
Ladies and gentlemen, on your
left, the original nurse without borders,
5'10", 190 pounds.
Not shirtless.
Unfortunately.
Mr. Kelly Slater!
And on the right,
from... Queens.
I know, but is that
where she was born?
Don't know. Probably. But
maybe not. Jackie's very private.
Hi, Jackie.
Wish you could have
been there, Jackie.
What can I say? I have a life.
Anybody want to work here?
Kelly told us about
delivering a baby. In a cave.
That must have been dark.
I had a bacon martini.
Delicious. It was.
Sort of. Not really.
Mr. Slater, I can't tell you how happy we
are to have you with us here at All Saints.
Well, thank you for saying so.
I hadn't realized that you had
been at Bellevue at one point.
Pediatric ER, really,
really rewarding stuff.
You must know my
colleague, Lily Chung.
Yeah, yeah. Tough
lady. Smart, though.
Hmm.
Yeah, well, I'd love
to hear your thoughts
on how All Saints can
better service the community,
especially in relation to
childhood obesity issues.
That's funny. Chung was a
killer when it came to kids' health.
She did some really
outstanding work with...
Yes, Lily is a killer
administrator.
Yeah, well, she ran
a tight ship over there.
She leaned heavy on the
acronyms though, like, AIM.
"Accountable, Impeccable,
Meticulousness."
Kind of a mouthful.
That's a great shot of Mrs. O.
You know, most people don't know
she's got a wicked sense of humor.
You know the First Lady?
You know, you kind
of remind me of her.
Well, to be honest, I don't
know her. My mother knows her.
She's a judge. But I
did meet her once briefly.
Briefly is good.
Briefly is just fine.
" Orchids and Salami "?
Eva Gabor's memoir. The
two things she had in her fridge.
Duck sauce and Marlboros.
Let me guess, your fridge?
Lenny's. How do you
spell "camaraderie"?
C-O-M-A? That's "coma."
Hey, am I in your blog?
Maybe. Cool.
What about me?
I've changed the names
to protect the innocent.
Innocent?
What about me?
You guys, it's anonymous.
Fine. Can I be called "Joaquin"?
Right. Like I can spell that.
Zoey, I need you to stop whatever
it is you're doing and get to urology.
Stopping.
Jacks, are you available
after work today?
Why? What do you got?
Another ghastly open house.
Champagne, grabby
Russians. Really unpleasant.
So much more fun
if you've got a friend.
Wow, I would really love to,
but I should get straight home.
You know, Kevin...
Is he still treating
you like an inmate?
Yeah. To say the
very least. Next time?
Sure.
I'll go if you want.
By the way, blog
without an "L", bog.
That means "toilet." Precisely.
Female, 35. Kid called it in.
Observed shallow
breathing, non-responsive.
Hi, there. What's your name?
Walker. Is that
your mom, Walker?
Okay, you wait right here.
On my count. One, two, three!
Sat is low. She's aspirated.
Kid said they went
to a concert last night.
This morning,
Mom didn't wake up.
We can't pump her stomach.
Nothing like getting
trashed with your 12-year-old.
Hey, buddy. Do you want us to call
somebody for you? Maybe your dad?
That's funny.
How are you doing?
How's my mom?
It's gonna be a little while.
Why don't you come with me?
Zoey, Zoey, can you take
Walker to the cafeteria, please?
Why don't you get
some breakfast, sweetie?
Follow me.
You smoke?
Um. I do not.
But I do have this weird
gum that I get in Chinatown.
It's black.
Cool.
I asked you to wake me up at 7:00.
We get marked down if we're late.
I'm sorry, Gracie, but as you know,
we were up pretty late last night.
Aunt Tunie sleeps late, too.
She says it's good for her skin.
- My saints! Dad.
- I didn't do it.
It's fine. I'll pick
them up for you.
I worked so hard. There's 87.
It's okay. I'll find
them for you, honey.
Come on, it's okay. Let's go in.
Check everywhere, Dad.
Everywhere. Look in between the seats.
You have to find
all of them. It's okay.
Every single one. I promise,
okay? Have a good day.
Haven't seen my
dad since I was 11.
Where's he live?
Jersey.
My dad's in prison.
This a good hospital?
Yes.
I mean, in what way?
In the "is my mom
gonna die" way?
It's a good hospital.
I smoked menthols
when I was your age.
Gross. I know.
Now, we're gonna
need to flush this.
It must have been some kite.
A regular kite. Just
flying it 60 stories up.
You on a roof or something?
34th and 8th. I'm an
ironworker, fourth generation.
We fly kites at lunch.
It breaks up the day.
The wind's pretty
fierce up there.
Yes, I can see that.
Higher the better, you know?
You won't get an
argument out of me.
Actually, that's not true.
I'm terrified of heights.
Yeah, me too.
What are you doing
working on top of a building?
Kind of like a family
business, I guess.
I'm Mohawk.
Oh.
Everyone thinks Indians aren't
afraid of heights. Total bullshit.
Really? We're just as
scared as the next guy.
We just hold it differently.
What does that mean?
Well, fear is danger, right?
And danger, when you think
about it, is kind of exhilarating.
So, you know,
pretty much like that.
Okay, you sit
tight for a minute.
Can't believe my moms
made me clean out my room.
Millennium Falcon.
You know it? Know it?
I had Chewbacca sheets and I
turned my sandbox into Tatooine.
Are we really back to you
not answering your page...
What the fuck? You're
encouraging him?
Princess Leia out.
Please don't yell at me.
All right, you're having
a hard day. I can tell.
You know what I
think might help?
Ice cream?
No. No, Coop, not ice cream. How
about a really interesting patient?
How interesting?
An ironworker.
An Indian?
Yes.
I saw it on the Discovery
Channel. What room is he in?
He's in Exam 1.
Joseph, this is Dr. Cooper.
I heard we had a wind
walker in our midst.
That's not what I said.
Actually we call
it "walking iron."
Right, right. You're the guys
who aren't afraid of heights.
That is so badass. Excuse
me while I kiss this guy.
Dr. Cooper, the eye.
You guys built most
of Manhattan, right?
Uh, yeah. I mean, my grandfather
built the Chrysler Building.
My dad did the
World Trade, so...
Dude, how's your lungs?
Yeah, yeah, they're fine.
These guys helped
out huge on the cleanup.
Rough on the
lungs. Four by four.
Must be nice.
All those dads working
together, building things, family.
You want to talk about fear?
Try having two moms who decide
out of the blue, without warning,
to essentially destroy
the family unit, rip it in half.
Hey, Jackie, Dr. O'Hara
needs you. It's about the kid.
I have to drive upstate this afternoon.
My daughter's in a school play.
Yeah, dude, check it out.
I lived in a teepee in my
room my entire fourth grade.
Probably wanna stick
to some short-acting
painkillers, if you're
gonna be driving later.
Yes, Slates, I got this. Definitely
gonna go easy on the drugs.
Vicodin, probably. Yes, Vicodin.
I'll call it in. Why
don't you go grab that?
It was more like a
pup tent, actually.
Safe to say she
won't be receiving
"Mother of the Year"
award anytime soon.
Marijuana, methadone,
methamphetamine,
hydrocodeine? Good Lord.
And a shitload of booze.
I'll go tell the kid.
I told him he could hang
in here until his dad comes.
I can't believe
his mom did that.
We don't know the
circumstances, Zoey.
Stay out of it.
Hello.
Is this supposed to be
a church or something?
Yes, something like that.
I'm an atheist.
It's a good thing you called
this in. You know that, right?
I kept telling her the only
thing she needed is Xanax.
Well, your mom's gonna be
okay. She's on a ventilator.
They're moving her up to ICU.
She'll probably be able to
come home in a few days.
Pretty sure she's a drug addict.
You know, being a
mom is not an easy job.
It's one of the
hardest things in the...
She's a fucking
drug addict, okay?
Whatever.
It's her life.
GERBIL.
"Great Excellence Reached
By Inspired Listening." GERBIL.
LILY. "Loitering
Is Losing." Yes.
Almost there.
TIT. "Teach
Instead of Talk." TIT.
That's not gonna work.
Sure I've got 'em, but what
are you gonna do for me?
You still owe me shit
from two weeks ago.
Listen, you guys are cancer, a
bunch of miscommunicating cells.
I've got chemistry
over here, okay?
Delightful, well-behaved,
healing molecules.
Yeah, all right.
I'll call you back.
Everybody's always after
me for my fentanyl patches.
We would've killed for those
in Haiti. Unbelievable for pain.
Yep, 100 times stronger than
morphine, not fucking around.
Coop called it in.
And you feel like
doing me a favor
and bringing this up to the
thieves in oncology for me?
Sure, no problem.
Appreciate it.
Whoa. Sorry, Doc.
Excuse me?
Where do you keep
your prosthetic adhesive?
What's the matter?
Your leg falling off?
No, I've got a viewing
at the St. Regis after work
and my heel's about to give way,
not that it's any
of your business.
If I see one more "ultimate
penthouse with soaring views..."
Yeah, I wish I had
those problems.
Yes, well, maybe you and your
Jameson's would care to join me.
Jackie turned you down, huh?
She's not as available
as she used to be.
Tell me about it.
How about we take my bike?
How about we take my car?
No, no, no, it's great. I ask for
Saturday off and they give it to me.
Gotta go.
Drinks out with the gang
last night, Saturday off.
You are one popular guy. You
should run for class president.
Yeah, that'd be great if I could only
figure out where the fuck oncology is.
Pharmacy guy asked me
to bring this up to them.
I'll tell you what. You go
change my catheter in six,
I'll bring this up to
oncology for pharmacy guy.
Yeah? Yeah.
What is that?
Bought it on the street.
It's supposed to be soothing.
How can I help you?
You gave Kelly
Saturday off? Really?
That's bullshit.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
And what is with the acronyms?
I'm trying something new.
All I'm saying is that
Kelly's been here a week.
I've been here a million years.
Thor's been here four. Sam
and Zoey have been here one.
This is gonna crush morale.
I'm sorry, Jackie. I think Mr. Slater
has done wonders for morale.
He took the entire nursing
staff out for drinks last night.
Yes, I know all about it.
The fact is Kelly
Slater is a winner.
What's that supposed to mean?
He met the First Lady.
Is this about the fat kids?
Bunion?
Whoa. It's like you
see right through me.
It was a bunion. But
the bunion is no more.
Had one last year, it killed.
Moccasins.
Sorry about your moms. Sucks.
Yeah, thanks.
Are you good?
I think so.
Whoa, hey, don't
forget your kite.
Keep it.
Seriously?
Thanks, chief. I
mean, no. I didn't...
I mean, damn it. I
call everyone chief.
I might soon be chief.
Jackie, check it out. He gave
it to me. We had a connection.
Against the wind, you moron!
You'll never get this high!
Check out pharmacy guy. I would
have never put those two together.
Yeah, neither would I.
I am fearless!
Oh, crap.
Think fast.
Cleaned out the car.
Fucking dental floss?
Kevin, hold on one second, okay?
Are you fucking
out of your mind?
Kevin, this is old, okay? This
is from when we went on the...
God! Kevin, it's from when
we went on the trip in the car.
In the fucking car, Jackie?
Kevin... What if
one of the girls...
Will you let me explain,
please? What do I have to do,
toss the whole house?
Kevin, this is old.
This is not from now.
This is from a long time ago
when we took the trip in the car.
I am so sorry you found it.
That must have been...
Must've been awful for you.
You have to believe me, Kevin.
I swear to God. I don't know
what to do to convince you.
And I was starting to feel
like it might be okay again.
Here. Okay? Thirty days clean.
Kevin, I know how
dangerous this shit is, okay?
This morning, just this
morning at a meeting,
at my meeting, okay, Kevin?
At my meeting, I heard a story
about a woman whose boyfriend OD'd.
She stole the drugs off his
body before she called 911.
It's so fucking bleak.
We are okay, Kevin. It is okay.
It is okay. We're okay.
Lift the bottom.
FYI, he is in an awesome mood.
He found out you're
going to those meetings.
Well, what can I say? It
works if you work it, right?
I was doing so good.
And then, pow! Divorce.
Pow! I wanna be chief.
Pow! I wreck my foot.
I'm not handing over the
First Lady visit without a fight.
We got to get
out in front of this.
I scoured the budget
and hired a temp.
Don't eat him alive.
My name's Kelly. You're at All
Saints. You're gonna be okay.
Sorry if I muscled
in on your gunshot.
I didn't notice.
Oh, Percocet. O'Hara's gunshot.
Kelly picked it up, then came
back, swapped it out for Motrin.
My heart's going really fast.
Can you check my pulse?
Sure, sweetie. Come here.
I'm sorry.
Oh, honey, there's
nothing to be sorry for.
I'm glad you're
here. You know why?
Why?
Because now we can have
midnight cocoa. How does that sound?
It's not midnight.
Well, then we can have 2:00
a.m. cocoa. That's even better.
This one had her throat cut.
This one was skinned alive.
And this one was
rolled on hot coals.
"Gruesome Saint Deaths."
That's some pretty scary stuff,
sweetie. It's no wonder you can't sleep.
It's not scary.
It's our religion.
There are more
than 10,000 saints.
What if I choose the
wrong one for the pageant?
May I?
Pick a saint, any saint at all.
I'm Saint Barbara.
What's so funny? Saint
Barbara's a girl, Dad.
Really? Aw, shoot.
Okay, my turn.
There we go. This guy.
Saint Isidore, patron
saint of the Internet?
What? Who knew?
All right, sweetie, your turn.
No, thanks.
I need to you to
wake me up by 7:00.
You want me to tuck you back in?
I'm 11, Mom.
Yes, yes, you certainly are.
7:00 a.m. it is.
Don't forget.
We got it.
Hot coals.
Hmm.
Fuck, I'm tired.
You're a good
mom. You know that?
Yes, I do.
I see you already
have your morning fix.
Two hundred bucks
for five pills? Really?
Supply and demand, babe.
And you know I gave you six.
Hey, Jackie. You're
a friend of Bill's?
I don't know what or who
you're talking about, Sam.
That guy back in the
diner you were hugging.
He's, like, the best
sponsor in the world.
He's legendary. He's an
epileptic I helped a long time ago.
He is not a friend. I don't
know him. End of story.
I'm sorry. I'm just jumping
back into the program, you know.
Man, today this one chick told a
story about her boyfriend OD'ing.
And she was so strung out. She,
like, stole the drugs off his dead body
before she calls 911.
So fucking bleak.
Oh.
Hello.
Do you mind? No, not at all.
It's private.
I can wait. Sam,
it's my husband.
Oh, sorry.
Jesus Christ.
Are you meditating?
Kind of. Word on the street is
Kelly Slater runs to work shirtless.
Oh...
I shall wait with you.
That was fun last night, hanging
with Kelly, Peace Corps style.
I can't believe he
paid for everyone.
Who ever heard of a rich nurse?
"Not I," said the fly.
You know, I used to have a big
problem with him until last night
when he paid for all my
drinks and a French onion soup.
I saw Sean Penn in his contacts.
Yeah. They hung in Haiti. He
told me all about it. They text.
Incoming.
Jackie.
Ladies and gentlemen, on your
left, the original nurse without borders,
5'10", 190 pounds.
Not shirtless.
Unfortunately.
Mr. Kelly Slater!
And on the right,
from... Queens.
I know, but is that
where she was born?
Don't know. Probably. But
maybe not. Jackie's very private.
Hi, Jackie.
Wish you could have
been there, Jackie.
What can I say? I have a life.
Anybody want to work here?
Kelly told us about
delivering a baby. In a cave.
That must have been dark.
I had a bacon martini.
Delicious. It was.
Sort of. Not really.
Mr. Slater, I can't tell you how happy we
are to have you with us here at All Saints.
Well, thank you for saying so.
I hadn't realized that you had
been at Bellevue at one point.
Pediatric ER, really,
really rewarding stuff.
You must know my
colleague, Lily Chung.
Yeah, yeah. Tough
lady. Smart, though.
Hmm.
Yeah, well, I'd love
to hear your thoughts
on how All Saints can
better service the community,
especially in relation to
childhood obesity issues.
That's funny. Chung was a
killer when it came to kids' health.
She did some really
outstanding work with...
Yes, Lily is a killer
administrator.
Yeah, well, she ran
a tight ship over there.
She leaned heavy on the
acronyms though, like, AIM.
"Accountable, Impeccable,
Meticulousness."
Kind of a mouthful.
That's a great shot of Mrs. O.
You know, most people don't know
she's got a wicked sense of humor.
You know the First Lady?
You know, you kind
of remind me of her.
Well, to be honest, I don't
know her. My mother knows her.
She's a judge. But I
did meet her once briefly.
Briefly is good.
Briefly is just fine.
" Orchids and Salami "?
Eva Gabor's memoir. The
two things she had in her fridge.
Duck sauce and Marlboros.
Let me guess, your fridge?
Lenny's. How do you
spell "camaraderie"?
C-O-M-A? That's "coma."
Hey, am I in your blog?
Maybe. Cool.
What about me?
I've changed the names
to protect the innocent.
Innocent?
What about me?
You guys, it's anonymous.
Fine. Can I be called "Joaquin"?
Right. Like I can spell that.
Zoey, I need you to stop whatever
it is you're doing and get to urology.
Stopping.
Jacks, are you available
after work today?
Why? What do you got?
Another ghastly open house.
Champagne, grabby
Russians. Really unpleasant.
So much more fun
if you've got a friend.
Wow, I would really love to,
but I should get straight home.
You know, Kevin...
Is he still treating
you like an inmate?
Yeah. To say the
very least. Next time?
Sure.
I'll go if you want.
By the way, blog
without an "L", bog.
That means "toilet." Precisely.
Female, 35. Kid called it in.
Observed shallow
breathing, non-responsive.
Hi, there. What's your name?
Walker. Is that
your mom, Walker?
Okay, you wait right here.
On my count. One, two, three!
Sat is low. She's aspirated.
Kid said they went
to a concert last night.
This morning,
Mom didn't wake up.
We can't pump her stomach.
Nothing like getting
trashed with your 12-year-old.
Hey, buddy. Do you want us to call
somebody for you? Maybe your dad?
That's funny.
How are you doing?
How's my mom?
It's gonna be a little while.
Why don't you come with me?
Zoey, Zoey, can you take
Walker to the cafeteria, please?
Why don't you get
some breakfast, sweetie?
Follow me.
You smoke?
Um. I do not.
But I do have this weird
gum that I get in Chinatown.
It's black.
Cool.
I asked you to wake me up at 7:00.
We get marked down if we're late.
I'm sorry, Gracie, but as you know,
we were up pretty late last night.
Aunt Tunie sleeps late, too.
She says it's good for her skin.
- My saints! Dad.
- I didn't do it.
It's fine. I'll pick
them up for you.
I worked so hard. There's 87.
It's okay. I'll find
them for you, honey.
Come on, it's okay. Let's go in.
Check everywhere, Dad.
Everywhere. Look in between the seats.
You have to find
all of them. It's okay.
Every single one. I promise,
okay? Have a good day.
Haven't seen my
dad since I was 11.
Where's he live?
Jersey.
My dad's in prison.
This a good hospital?
Yes.
I mean, in what way?
In the "is my mom
gonna die" way?
It's a good hospital.
I smoked menthols
when I was your age.
Gross. I know.
Now, we're gonna
need to flush this.
It must have been some kite.
A regular kite. Just
flying it 60 stories up.
You on a roof or something?
34th and 8th. I'm an
ironworker, fourth generation.
We fly kites at lunch.
It breaks up the day.
The wind's pretty
fierce up there.
Yes, I can see that.
Higher the better, you know?
You won't get an
argument out of me.
Actually, that's not true.
I'm terrified of heights.
Yeah, me too.
What are you doing
working on top of a building?
Kind of like a family
business, I guess.
I'm Mohawk.
Oh.
Everyone thinks Indians aren't
afraid of heights. Total bullshit.
Really? We're just as
scared as the next guy.
We just hold it differently.
What does that mean?
Well, fear is danger, right?
And danger, when you think
about it, is kind of exhilarating.
So, you know,
pretty much like that.
Okay, you sit
tight for a minute.
Can't believe my moms
made me clean out my room.
Millennium Falcon.
You know it? Know it?
I had Chewbacca sheets and I
turned my sandbox into Tatooine.
Are we really back to you
not answering your page...
What the fuck? You're
encouraging him?
Princess Leia out.
Please don't yell at me.
All right, you're having
a hard day. I can tell.
You know what I
think might help?
Ice cream?
No. No, Coop, not ice cream. How
about a really interesting patient?
How interesting?
An ironworker.
An Indian?
Yes.
I saw it on the Discovery
Channel. What room is he in?
He's in Exam 1.
Joseph, this is Dr. Cooper.
I heard we had a wind
walker in our midst.
That's not what I said.
Actually we call
it "walking iron."
Right, right. You're the guys
who aren't afraid of heights.
That is so badass. Excuse
me while I kiss this guy.
Dr. Cooper, the eye.
You guys built most
of Manhattan, right?
Uh, yeah. I mean, my grandfather
built the Chrysler Building.
My dad did the
World Trade, so...
Dude, how's your lungs?
Yeah, yeah, they're fine.
These guys helped
out huge on the cleanup.
Rough on the
lungs. Four by four.
Must be nice.
All those dads working
together, building things, family.
You want to talk about fear?
Try having two moms who decide
out of the blue, without warning,
to essentially destroy
the family unit, rip it in half.
Hey, Jackie, Dr. O'Hara
needs you. It's about the kid.
I have to drive upstate this afternoon.
My daughter's in a school play.
Yeah, dude, check it out.
I lived in a teepee in my
room my entire fourth grade.
Probably wanna stick
to some short-acting
painkillers, if you're
gonna be driving later.
Yes, Slates, I got this. Definitely
gonna go easy on the drugs.
Vicodin, probably. Yes, Vicodin.
I'll call it in. Why
don't you go grab that?
It was more like a
pup tent, actually.
Safe to say she
won't be receiving
"Mother of the Year"
award anytime soon.
Marijuana, methadone,
methamphetamine,
hydrocodeine? Good Lord.
And a shitload of booze.
I'll go tell the kid.
I told him he could hang
in here until his dad comes.
I can't believe
his mom did that.
We don't know the
circumstances, Zoey.
Stay out of it.
Hello.
Is this supposed to be
a church or something?
Yes, something like that.
I'm an atheist.
It's a good thing you called
this in. You know that, right?
I kept telling her the only
thing she needed is Xanax.
Well, your mom's gonna be
okay. She's on a ventilator.
They're moving her up to ICU.
She'll probably be able to
come home in a few days.
Pretty sure she's a drug addict.
You know, being a
mom is not an easy job.
It's one of the
hardest things in the...
She's a fucking
drug addict, okay?
Whatever.
It's her life.
GERBIL.
"Great Excellence Reached
By Inspired Listening." GERBIL.
LILY. "Loitering
Is Losing." Yes.
Almost there.
TIT. "Teach
Instead of Talk." TIT.
That's not gonna work.
Sure I've got 'em, but what
are you gonna do for me?
You still owe me shit
from two weeks ago.
Listen, you guys are cancer, a
bunch of miscommunicating cells.
I've got chemistry
over here, okay?
Delightful, well-behaved,
healing molecules.
Yeah, all right.
I'll call you back.
Everybody's always after
me for my fentanyl patches.
We would've killed for those
in Haiti. Unbelievable for pain.
Yep, 100 times stronger than
morphine, not fucking around.
Coop called it in.
And you feel like
doing me a favor
and bringing this up to the
thieves in oncology for me?
Sure, no problem.
Appreciate it.
Whoa. Sorry, Doc.
Excuse me?
Where do you keep
your prosthetic adhesive?
What's the matter?
Your leg falling off?
No, I've got a viewing
at the St. Regis after work
and my heel's about to give way,
not that it's any
of your business.
If I see one more "ultimate
penthouse with soaring views..."
Yeah, I wish I had
those problems.
Yes, well, maybe you and your
Jameson's would care to join me.
Jackie turned you down, huh?
She's not as available
as she used to be.
Tell me about it.
How about we take my bike?
How about we take my car?
No, no, no, it's great. I ask for
Saturday off and they give it to me.
Gotta go.
Drinks out with the gang
last night, Saturday off.
You are one popular guy. You
should run for class president.
Yeah, that'd be great if I could only
figure out where the fuck oncology is.
Pharmacy guy asked me
to bring this up to them.
I'll tell you what. You go
change my catheter in six,
I'll bring this up to
oncology for pharmacy guy.
Yeah? Yeah.
What is that?
Bought it on the street.
It's supposed to be soothing.
How can I help you?
You gave Kelly
Saturday off? Really?
That's bullshit.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
And what is with the acronyms?
I'm trying something new.
All I'm saying is that
Kelly's been here a week.
I've been here a million years.
Thor's been here four. Sam
and Zoey have been here one.
This is gonna crush morale.
I'm sorry, Jackie. I think Mr. Slater
has done wonders for morale.
He took the entire nursing
staff out for drinks last night.
Yes, I know all about it.
The fact is Kelly
Slater is a winner.
What's that supposed to mean?
He met the First Lady.
Is this about the fat kids?
Bunion?
Whoa. It's like you
see right through me.
It was a bunion. But
the bunion is no more.
Had one last year, it killed.
Moccasins.
Sorry about your moms. Sucks.
Yeah, thanks.
Are you good?
I think so.
Whoa, hey, don't
forget your kite.
Keep it.
Seriously?
Thanks, chief. I
mean, no. I didn't...
I mean, damn it. I
call everyone chief.
I might soon be chief.
Jackie, check it out. He gave
it to me. We had a connection.
Against the wind, you moron!
You'll never get this high!
Check out pharmacy guy. I would
have never put those two together.
Yeah, neither would I.
I am fearless!
Oh, crap.
Think fast.
Cleaned out the car.
Fucking dental floss?
Kevin, hold on one second, okay?
Are you fucking
out of your mind?
Kevin, this is old, okay? This
is from when we went on the...
God! Kevin, it's from when
we went on the trip in the car.
In the fucking car, Jackie?
Kevin... What if
one of the girls...
Will you let me explain,
please? What do I have to do,
toss the whole house?
Kevin, this is old.
This is not from now.
This is from a long time ago
when we took the trip in the car.
I am so sorry you found it.
That must have been...
Must've been awful for you.
You have to believe me, Kevin.
I swear to God. I don't know
what to do to convince you.
And I was starting to feel
like it might be okay again.
Here. Okay? Thirty days clean.
Kevin, I know how
dangerous this shit is, okay?
This morning, just this
morning at a meeting,
at my meeting, okay, Kevin?
At my meeting, I heard a story
about a woman whose boyfriend OD'd.
She stole the drugs off his
body before she called 911.
It's so fucking bleak.
We are okay, Kevin. It is okay.
It is okay. We're okay.