Nurse Jackie (2009–2015): Season 2, Episode 10 - Sleeping Dogs - full transcript

Previously on Nurse Jackie...

Please step away from the gurney
transfers and the heavy lifting.

And for the love of all that's
good and holy, get an MRI.

I almost don't want
to see the damage.

We want to launch
a citywide campaign

featuring you as
the face of All Saints.

Dr. Cooper, pay attention!
You need to pay attention!

Dude, dude! What the hell?

You know I'm fine. You
don't need to stay here.

This machine is a piece of shit!

I'm gonna begin
interviewing for a pharmacist.



I've already put in a
call to Eddie Walzer.

Awesome!

Eddie kind of lost it when
the Pill-O-Matix came.

It's not that he wasn't
good at his job...

All right, I hear you.

Grace, open the door!

Honey.

Oh, my God.

Hi. Is Dr. O'Hara in yet?

Great, can you get her
for me? Oh, wait. I got it.

Thanks. Thanks.

Here you go, sweetie.

Good morning. How are you?

Uh, listen, can I steal you
for a minute when I get in?



Okay. Great, thanks.

Who's seen this?

Half of ortho.

The main spine
guy is in Barbados.

Meanwhile, my follow-ups
keep getting pushed.

Yeah, well, fuck that. You
need to see a specialist.

I am the least of my problems.

Grace is pulling her hair out.

Oh, God. I'm
really sorry, Jackie.

Eddie used to give me some oxy.

Between cortisone shots,
when it would get really bad.

I could do that, if you like.

Give you a couple of oxy.

Yeah. You know, I
guess that would...

Short of banging you over the
head to put you out of your misery,

I don't see what else I can do.

All right. Great.
Just let me know.

I'll stop by and
get a prescription.

Oh.

No, because what
happens is it flares up

and I haven't, you
know... Never mind.

It's beating a dead horse.

Who came up with that anyway?

The same awful
people that like to kill

two birds with one
stone, I imagine.

You know who I like? People
who let sleeping dogs lie.

What qualifies you for the position of
emergency department pharmacist?

What qualifies me? Seriously?

I did this job for 10 years.

You also came in here drunk,

not to mention you had to
have your stomach pumped.

One might think these incidents

would disqualify you
to run a pharmacy.

Oh, man. Either you
want me back or you don't.

Cook me or sew me back
up. This in-between shit...

I need some assurance
that you're stable.

Both things
happened after I left.

My work was
impeccable for 10 years.

Plus, I still have a lab coat,
so you save the... Right.

Now you're going to tell
me you'll get back to me

and I'll be checking
my messages.

Or I might just say,
"Welcome back to All Saints."

Yeah? Really?

I'm gonna rock this shit.

I wish you wouldn't.

No, it's just an expression.

Still.

Eddie!

It's gonna be like old
times, bro! I'm telling you.

Hey. Hey. This is the man!

No. Listen, Coop... This
is the man right here!

Coop, listen, listen.
I gotta bounce.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
later. Bounce. Bounce.

Hey. Got a minute?

Actually, I don't.

Yeah, well, we got a
whack job coming in five,

so I'll keep it brief.

Emotionally disturbed
person, Dr. Cooper.

Here's what it is.

I think I was part of a
very successful campaign.

You were.

So how come they're
taking the posters down?

Stop that!

I mean, why not keep a good
thing going? Right? Seems to me...

All Saints rented the
ad space for six weeks.

Those six weeks
are up, Dr. Cooper.

I... Please answer your pager.

You heard that? It's on vibrate.

Someone may be dying.

Oh, the nurses
will keep them alive

until I get there.
It's their job.

So, what needs to happen in
order to keep the campaign going?

I mean, I'm... Sorry.

I'm totally willing to
keep the campaign going.

I'll, I don't know, pay out of
pocket. I could pay for the ad space

if it helps... That's a very
generous offer, Dr. Cooper.

I'm a very generous guy.

So, seems like a win-win,
right? What do you think?

I can hear your pager
vibrating, Dr. Cooper.

I know. I know. Whatever.

Just... Can you think about it?

Hmm? Gloria?

Thirty-ish male, altered mental
status. Found disoriented and naked.

Whack job. Got it.

EBP. Psych Eval.

Dude started peeling his
clothes off at the grocery store.

They had to call the
police. The police called us.

No, stay here. Give
me the keys. Thank you.

Get his arms.

Someone tell the cops to stop
dumping their disorderlies at All Saints.

On my count. One, two, three.

You're all right. You're
okay. We're right here.

Let's keep him sedated.
Give him five and two.

He's not agitated
and he's not resisting.

BP's 110 over 70.

I want to stay on top of it.

Start the line. Hey,
buddy. Hmm? Buddy?

You know where you are?

No.

No.

You're at All Saints.

Can you tell me your name?

No? I'm Jackie.

Don't worry, we're gonna take
very good care of you, okay?

He smells like fresh laundry.

Hey, Marco?

Can you tell me how
you got here today?

No.

Do you know what year it is?

No, ma'am. It's 2010.

Thank you.

Can you ask around and see
if you can find some family?

I thought I recognized you.
Marco Prince, linebacker!

Right? Wow. This guy's famous.

It's an honor to meet you.

Brotherhood of the
broken nose, right?

Hey, kill the H
and A. He's cool.

Marco, we're gonna take good
care of you. You having a rough day?

Yeah. Dude got
picked in the first round.

Linebackers never get
picked in the first round.

Florida Gators, I know.
I'm gay, I'm not a girl.

Sam's calling around.
Also, there's a lady in three.

She's 49. She's having
pain in her swimsuit area.

I'm thinking it's an appy.

Can I take it? It's all yours.

Let's get this guy an MRI,
full blood and spinal tap,

rule out infection, brain tumor,
bleed... Treat him like a king. Hmm?

As opposed to a whack job?

Marco Prince, fantastic.

Lower abdominal

pain.

Ugh. We've been
through this already.

Just being thorough.

Are you sexually active?

No. Pretty much just lie there.

No, I meant, um...

Ah! A joke. Got it.

Hello, hello.

Lower quadrant. CBC came
back, white count's high.

We're in line for a beta
and waiting on a CAT scan.

I'm telling you right now, my
appendix is dead and rotting,

so how about a Valium
drip and a nice Merlot?

Not saying no.

I do think your
appendix has ruptured.

All right. Rule out pregnancy,

get her into CT and call the OR.

Oh, my God! The
two of you. Seriously?

I'm forty-fucking-nine
years old, okay?

May I help you?

I'm looking for Marco Prince.

Hi. Are you his wife?

There's my guy.

Hey, baby.

I'm sorry.

What are you sorry for?

Would you like to eat something?

We have some meal
trays right over here.

That would be nice. Okay.

You know what happened?

Someone called the
police. That's all I know.

Janelle came looking for
you, but you were already gone.

Oh. Where did I go?

SuperValu.

What did I do?

Took off your clothes.

Oh, God... Baby,
no. It's not a big deal.

Good-looking guy like
you, you made their day.

Look, you had to
leave work again.

You know what I say to that?
Lucky me. That's what I say.

If either of you need
anything, please don't hesitate.

Do you mind me asking

if you're the same Marco
Prince who played ball?

Yes, ma'am.

Yes, you mind, or yes, you are?

Yes, I am.

You have officially
made my day, Mr. Prince.

Blindside sack on the
Tennessee quarterback.

You're my hero.

You are so brave.

I could never move
to a foreign country.

Oh, you underestimate yourself.

Mmm, no. I would
miss American candy.

What you'd miss are your people.

I don't have people.

Excuse me. I beg your pardon,

you have me, you have Jackie,

you have Lenny.

Having Lenny scares me.

Hmm.

Ooh! Not having Lenny scares me.

Wow! Okay. Huh.

So, who do you miss
from your foreign land?

The Queen. MAN: Together?

Yes. No.

Yes.

What if I can never
pay you back?

She's my friend.

So, we ordered an
MRI and a spinal tap.

They are doing his
blood work as we speak.

Can we cancel it, please?

Sorry?

You need to cancel the MRI.

Our insurance is going to
kick it back. We can't afford it.

It's not like anyone can fix it.

He's not sick-sick.

He's got early onset dementia.

He was a linebacker.

Yes, I heard. First round.

And he's not 6'5" and
he's not 300 lbs, so he's fast

and tough as shit.

I could wallpaper my bathroom
with MRIs. We don't need another one.

I know what his
brain looks like.

All right?

Yeah. Yeah, I got it.

What are you doing for lunch?

Want to get a little Quiznos,
hang out in the pharmacy,

kick it old-school?

Can't turn back the
hands of time, Coop.

So, let's do something
different. Sushi.

I made plans, bro. Sorry.

Water off a duck's back.

Hey, Zoey, you want
to get a little lunch?

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

I'm having lunch with Jackie.

Help a sister out.

Sorry, Lenny. Ladies only.

That's cool.

What about you? You
want to get a grinder?

As wildly tempting
as a grinder sounds,

I have far too much
respect for Zoey

to horn in on her territory.

Loud and clear.

I'll go to lunch with you.

No, thanks.

What about you,
Thor? Grab a bite?

No lunch for Thor today. He
needs to drop some of that weight.

I can totally hear you.

Still need to drop
some of that weight.

You need anything?

No. Just... Thank you.

It's embarrassing. You
break your arm, you're still you.

You break your brain,
you're not you anymore,

and it freaks me out.

We used to have it nailed down.

We had a guy who lived
with us. He took care of me,

but we pretty much burned
through everything we had, so...

Our neighbor looks in on him.

I don't know where I go, man.

'Cause I don't want to leave.

But I do and I don't know why.

I have a beautiful wife,

a beautiful life, it's
slipping off my plate.

Every day a little more.

Hey.

Hard day?

Oh, same old.

You?

Just happy to be back.

It's gonna be different
now. You know that, right?

Why?

Eddie.

Remember that time when
I walked in on you guys...

Oh, God. Zoey!

Good times. Yeah.

Let's make this quick.

So, thank you for
having lunch with me.

Go on.

Lenny is so nice to me.

Much, much, much
nicer than I am to him.

That's because he likes you.

Yes. I am aware of that,

which is why I've
called this meeting.

Clearly, we have sizzling
chemistry. Obviously.

Uh, actually, Zoey,
it's not that obvious.

But if it's obvious to
you, that's all that matters.

He's into me.

That's for sure.

Get to your point.

Should I hook up
with him or not?

You don't have a
mother or a best friend

or somebody you can be
having this conversation with?

Yes, but they're all gossips.

You know how to keep a secret.

That is for sure.

Private life is private life.

Um, we're not talking about me.

My point exactly.
So, what do I do?

Um, you have to see him
every day. It might become weird.

It's already kind of weird.

Then I would have to caution you

against fooling
around with co-workers.

And if you are still going to,

then I would suggest
you slow down about it.

But the heart wants
what the heart wants!

You know what I'm talking about.

Actually, I don't.

You and Eddie...

Yes?

Hooked up.

Okay, Zoey, you know what?

Yes. You and
Lenny in a back room

on a cot somewhere and
someone like you can walk in on you.

That's good stuff, very romantic,
and I wish you all the best.

Oh, no, come back!

Okay. Good talk. Thank you.

This is the way it used to be.

Hanging out in the back,
talking shit about nurses.

Nice.

Go easy on the nurse smack.

How come you're not
a doctor? Seriously.

I could ask you the same thing.

I am a doctor.

No. I mean how come
you're not a nurse?

All the work, none
of the pay, zero glory.

Hmm? I'd die.

I'd be dead.

Not true.

I have an awesome life. Yeah?

But would I think it
was awesome? Hmm?

I think you would.
You should tag along

with me and my
buddies after work.

A little Coop reunion.
You can meet my lady,

see my world. Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

What should I wear?

Is there anyone
you want me to call?

You could call my father
and he could yell at me

for being an unwed mother.

I had sex once
in six years. Once.

I'm 49. Did I mention that?

You did.

That's a very smart
hat, by the way.

I'm just going off what Diane
Keaton did in her last movie, you know.

White bounces the light
and shaves off decades.

Yes, well, nothing
shaves off decades

like a stroller and a sippy cup.

I never even thought
about being a mother.

Maybe one summer when I was 26,

I thought about how great it
would be to have a bunch of kids.

But, since then,
never occurred to me.

What about you?

All my life.

A divorce? You
have lost your mind.

Occupational hazard.

The fact is, you don't make
enough to take care of him

and you make too much
to qualify for Medicaid.

This is who you
wanted me to see?

She's been fucking the system
for 30 years. I would listen to her.

I didn't make the rules. I
don't even believe in them.

I'm just passing on information.

As a married couple,
your income is his income.

And Medicaid will not help him

as long as he's
tied to your assets.

And you can quit your job,

but then your whole family is
dependent on the state. It's your call.

But he needs
round-the-clock care.

I only make $52,000...

The sooner you
put this in motion,

the better.

His costs are gonna be
catastrophic as this thing plays out.

Medicaid will cover it, but not
as long as you're in the picture.

Today's visit alone, without
the MRI, would cost you $11,000.

You're serious?

Yeah, we are.

You will lose your house.

They'll garnish your income.

To that end, All Saints
would like to take care of today

and give him a clean bill
of health, so that you're only

liable for future expenses.

I promised to love him.

You don't have to be married to
love him. It's just a piece of paper.

Maybe to you.

You wiped out her bill.

My boy went to the
University of Florida.

Love the Gators.

Yeah, we're getting
too old for this shit.

Speak for yourself.

I don't care what they say,
you are not a grinchy little fucker.

Who's "they"?

Um, that would be me.

He used to get loaded, and now
he does this. Pretty cool, huh?

Beyond cool.

What?

Uh... You wouldn't understand.

Try me.

Cool guys never like me.

Never. I'm like the plague.

They think I don't
know it, but I do.

It's all good. I'm a doctor.

♪ My name is
Coop Doo-dootily-doo

♪ I'm a doctor
'cause I got patients

♪ But I don't have patience

♪ For busted rhyme 'cause...

♪ Sometimes they're malignant
Sometimes they're benign

♪ I'm a... I hate
nurses who whine

♪ I feel the flow
and I see the light

♪ Don't trip, man You're
gonna have to breathe right ♪

Fuck! I told you,
I'm a total knob.

I don't have a cool
bone in my body.

You look cool.

That's half the battle.
Yeah. No, I don't...

Yeah? You think so?

Definitely.

He'll be with these
guys all night.

You wanna bounce?

Is that bad?

I can walk you
home, if you want.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Unacceptable.

What are you people doing?

People come to me with their guts
hanging out and I stuff them back in.

I don't go sliding
their appointments

around so I can lie on a beach

with my colleagues.
Now hold on a minute.

Why isn't anybody
helping my friend?

I don't know what Grace
talked about in her last session.

I do not want you to
break her confidence,

but I'm just looking for
some advice at this point.

My daughter is
pulling her hair out.

I don't know if she's telling you
this stuff, but this is what she's doing.

I will pay you for your
time, I just, I don't know...

Yes, I understand. I just...

I just thought you should know.

Okay. All right. Thank you.

Oh, my God, you're in
scrubs. I need your help.

I just called 911. My
boyfriend's having a seizure.

Is he epileptic? WOMAN: Yeah,

but I've never seen him
have a seizure before.

Can you give him some
room? Can I have your jacket?

We just have to wait
it out. He'll be okay.

Get outside and wait for EMS,
please. Can you step back?

Listen, you are not helping him.

He needs calm. Go. I got it.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Roxicodone... Holy shit!

Are you a dealer? You
a fucking doctor? What?

Oh, God forgive me.

It's okay. You'll be all right.

You're okay.

There's no Jackie
Peyton in the system.

My mistake.

I don't know whose MRI
you saw, but it wasn't hers.

Because if she had an
MRI, it would be here.

Yes, I understand that.

I can't do more than
apologize and say "my mistake."

Where are you taking him?

Uh, All Saints.

He should go to Bellevue.

Uh, can we take him to Bellevue?

All Saints is closer.

Bellevue is better. Trust me.

We want to go to Bellevue.

Do what she wants.

Bellevue.

My God, thank you so much.

You don't have to
thank me. It's what I do.