Nurse Jackie (2009–2015): Season 2, Episode 1 - Comfort Food - full transcript
Jackie is spending time with her family at the beach but still shows that she's in charge. At the hospital, Gloria is concerned with the growing disappearance of drugs and gets Jackie to give training to staff on how the properly use the dispensing system. Dr. Cooper lodges a formal complaint against her and she comes within inches of being shot when a deranged patient fires their gun at no one in particular. Eddie is still trying to contact her but she ignores him completely. Until he finds a way to get her attention that she simply cannot avoid.
Previously on Nurse Jackie...
Mommy! FIONA: Mommy!
.I thought I'd swing by the
hospital today, take you out to lunch.
Today's awful. Can
I take a rain check?
It's been raining a lot lately.
Eddie, it's me. I really
need to see you this morning.
So if you could just find me
as soon as you get
in, that'd be great.
Jacks.
.You rang?
My back is killing me.
For the pain.
Thank you.
Family at home, boyfriend at work, making
it back in time to be with husband...
Pretty impressive.
You have a little
crush on Eddie?
Yeah, Coop. I have a
huge crush on Eddie.
We fuck every day at noon.
How are we on time?
We're good. Just
don't get fancy.
Zoey!
Mom, it's me, Fiona.
So she has a kid.
I cannot live with Coop
holding this over my head.
If anyone knows how to drive
him round the bend, it's you.
You and I have
amazing chemistry.
You are a moron.
I think that temp
is on something.
I don't know what your
deal is. We don't do that here.
Takes one to know one.
Your daughter Grace is experiencing
signs of Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
Just a bunch of fucking idiots.
We're the parents. We're going
to decide what's best for her.
They're replacing
me with a Pyxis.
They're going to replace you
with a fucking
robot pill machine?
Tylenol. Blow me.
Ring, Jacks.
Oh, come on.
How are you going to explain a
sawn-off wedding ring to Kevin?
I will think of something.
Is this for her broken finger?
.Got a little surprise for
you when you get off work.
Who is luckier than me?
Hey. You open? Come on in.
Is that your wife?
Jackie.
I met Kevin. And that's
a very nice boy you got.
You broke your own finger.
.Mommy...
Jacks. ZOEY: I
think you're a saint.
Every medication
removed from the machine
will be traced back
to your number,
and shortages will
not be tolerated.
Hi.
Well, hello.
I'm sorry. I'm married.
Oh, yeah? Lucky guy.
Sorry. It's a little sunscreen.
Jackie Peyton bought me a card?
Maybe.
She actually wrote
feelings down?
In cursive.
Yeah.
I like you like this.
You brought soap?
She brought soap.
Grace, honey, they're
clean from the ocean.
Not really.
What you got, Fi?
I don't know, but
it's really good.
Is it dead?
I think it's a head.
Yes, it looks like
a raccoon head.
Don't, honey! Don't
touch it. Do not touch it.
Can I see your phone?
My phone?
We're going to take a picture.
Oh. All right.
Knock yourself out.
We need to mail it. Now.
We do? Right now?
All right. You're the boss.
Fries?
Yes, four please.
I don't want fries.
They're not wearing gloves.
Honey, it's okay.
So four or... Yes.
Three fries.
Four... Okay, three.
Coke, you guys? Root beer?
Coke. Grace?
Gracie? Coke?
Coke, please.
I guess she's not talking to me.
Four Cokes.
It's getting a little old,
that's all I'm saying.
Are you okay?
Jackie, are you okay?
Yeah, yeah. A little
too much sun, I think.
You got beers, right?
Hey, you got beer?
I will be with you
in one minute.
Man, those fucking
girls drink a lot.
You mind? I like the short one.
She's got an ass like kaboom!
Easy, guys.
We got kids here. MAN:
She's, like, one drink away.
Pop that thong and
I'm in it, yo. Fuck!
Oh, sorry. We got to go.
We're going. Goodbye.
Don't fuck with her.
She's a mother!
Was that a gunshot?
.22 caliber, I'm guessing.
Shouldn't we...
- Go out there and get shot?
- No.
Anybody hit? Security
mobilized? Good.
Where were we?
"Several questionable
incidents."
Oh, yes.
"Peripherally involved with
several questionable incidents.
"Item, severed ear.
"Item, Neil Nutterman.
"Item, Bureau of
Narcotic Enforcement."
Mmm. No.
The emergency
department of All Saints
has been flagged by
the state of New York.
And I have to ask
myself, "What's different?"
Okay, but it's not me.
I'm not what's different.
The Virgin Mary took
one in the shoulder.
What's going on?
I was just telling Zoey here
that the shrinkage
rate of our Pill-O-Matix
has caught the
attention of the state.
What can I tell
you? It's a robot.
This is unacceptable,
not to mention expensive.
And illegal!
Which is why I've asked
Nurse Jackie to talk to you today.
The theme for today is,
this is not a candy
machine, people.
Jackie.
Apparently, there's been
a problem with shrinkage.
No! Not "apparently."
Go ahead, Jackie.
There's been a
problem with shrinkage.
And, frankly, any shrinkage
makes us all look bad,
even if it's just Imodium.
And it's never just
the Imodium, people.
Sorry. Proceed.
Okay, just so we are
all on the same page.
Let's say you get an EDP,
attending orders an H and A cocktail.
You enter your PIN number.
The machine will
prompt you, patient ID.
One two-milligram
vial of Ativan.
The drawer pops open.
Machine says that there
are 10 vials in the drawer.
Hit "Confirm."
You take one vial.
Machine says nine vials
remain. Hit "Confirm."
You do the same
thing with the Haldol.
So when you were up there,
I was watching everyone,
you know, like I do, and a
lot of them look really guilty.
You don't think it's me, do you?
Hey, Jackie!
We'd like a moment alone.
No, we wouldn't. You can stay.
House seats. Hair. Fourth row.
That's very impressive, Coop.
Right? Takes place in the '60s.
Thought it might take you back.
Okay. Very nice.
It'd be good for us
to spend some time...
"Us"? What "us"?
There is no "us."
I thought we got
past this weeks ago.
You know, Jackie, this whole
"Come here, go away" thing
is exhausting me.
I'm just trying...
There is no come
here, it's all go away.
Go away, okay? Just go away.
What do I care?
Trying to do something
nice for a nurse,
who's a little bit older
than me, by the way.
Okay, thanks a lot. I'm
going to head back to work.
I bet Thor would buy those
from you in a heartbeat.
I mean, if you were
at all thinking of...
My first perk!
What are we waiting on?
GSW. Four minutes.
Really gruesome.
I don't know why
she wanted to send it
or why you like it,
but there you have it.
Kindred spirits, Jacks.
I'm not really interested in
any long drawn-out anything,
except to say that I am
executive of my mother's estate
and, as such, it
would mean the world
if I could set up a
college fund for the girls,
if for no other
reason than taxes.
That's very generous, thank you,
but you know it is
not just up to me.
Fiona sent me a
picture of a dead animal,
knowing full well it would
be the highlight of my day.
We're connected, Jacks.
Yes, there's no
denying that, honey.
That's all I'm asking,
no strings attached.
Let me talk to Kevin.
Except, I get to be a
godmother. Don't care which one.
They already have godmothers.
Not giving up.
Ladies, this is Sam.
He's our new RN.
You remember.
He was a temp here.
Yes, we remember him. Drug guy.
I thought there
was a hiring freeze.
No offense. SAM: No, none taken.
I'm just totally
grateful to be here.
Yeah, okay. Excuse us a minute.
You know I dismissed him
because he was wacked
out on benzos, right?
You do read my staffing reports.
He successfully completed
a rehabilitation program.
I have a stack of glowing
recommendations on my desk.
Not to mention he
speaks three languages
and he's a lot
cheaper than you are.
You get what you pay for.
Mo-Mo was worth three
times what you paid him.
And if the hospital is worried
about nurses stealing drugs,
maybe you don't want to
hire a nurse who's an addict?
Former addict.
No such thing.
How you doing?
Don't get too comfortable.
New guy. Coop. High five.
Okay, sure.
Listen, I kind of feel
like you're getting
a lot of the stabbings
and gunshots lately.
Mind if I take this one?
Nothing would make me happier
than to give you a
big, fat gunshot wound.
We call those GSWs for short.
Yeah.
23-year-old female.
Her dad's a cop.
She reached into the
glove compartment,
.357 magnum blew off the top
of her palm and three fingers.
Index finger is
hanging by a tendon.
The rest is wrapped
up in the shirt.
On my count. One, two, three.
Okay.
Out of my way, big guy. Sorry.
Hi, honey. My name is Jackie.
You're okay. You
know where you are?
We're going to give you
something for the pain.
Are you allergic
to any medicines?
You're okay. You're okay.
Call Lois and have
them prep the OR.
Okay.
What about plastics?
She'll be lucky if they can
stabilize any of the bones.
I think plastics
should weigh in.
And look at her
when you're talking.
Why? Because she's deaf.
If they could stabilize the
bones, maybe do a vein graft...
That's a big maybe.
We're talking about the
hands of a deaf woman.
Fine. Call plastics.
Okay, I will.
Yeah? And they'll tell
you the same thing.
Twenty hours of surgery for
a non-life threatening injury?
Fat fucking chance.
It's pudding, Jackie.
What the fuck are you doing
over there? You're officially useless.
Get out.
Can I have some more gauze? Yes.
You are mad at me.
Do not take it out on him.
Who? Who am I taking it out on?
Thor. He's diabetic.
You know that, right?
The guy has a
reaction, you go after him
like a bully on the playground.
That's classy, Coop.
I didn't... How am I
supposed to know?
He wears a big fucking
bracelet that says, "I am diabetic."
I'm sorry.
Totally worth it.
Come with me.
Someone call me
when plastics gets here.
I am so sorry. I didn't
time my insulin right.
You can't do that, Thor.
Nurses passing out on patients?
Not good. I know.
It's a good thing it was Coop.
The other doctors
don't scare so easy.
God! He can't tell Akalitus that
my blood sugar dropped in trauma.
She'll move me to the
chemo ward or maternity.
I love trauma.
You just got to remember to eat.
And you got to lay off
the fried shit, and the cake.
Jesus, Thor. What
is with you and cake?
I don't drink. I don't
smoke. I eat cake.
Cake is good.
It's comfort food.
Why do the things that are so
bad for you make you feel the best?
Mmm. I hear you.
I get why I make you nervous.
I'm sorry?
That time when I was fucked up
and I told you it takes
one to know one?
I had no right to say that.
And I have no idea
what you're talking about.
But if you ever want to
talk or go to a meeting...
Oh, I'm sorry. Can we get
something straight right now?
You and I are not
buddies. You got it?
If you say so. Good.
No, you listen to me.
I spent my day off
at a pathetic medical
equipment auction in New Jersey,
bidding on a refurbished
Medfusion syringe pump for the ER.
I won. I put it on my credit
card. You approved this.
If I don't have a check
on my desk in the morning,
I'm going to come down
there and kick your ass!
Thank you, Monsignor.
Have a good day.
Come in.
Got a minute? Certainly.
I need to lodge a formal
complaint against a nurse.
Super.
It's Nurse Jackie. Really?
She constantly
challenges my decisions,
is bossy and rude
and unpleasant.
Bully. That's the
word. She's a bully.
There's a chain of command here
that she refuses to acknowledge.
I am at the top of that
chain of command, okay?
She is at the bottom
and I am at the top.
If this were a food pyramid,
I would be the steak.
Technically, I
think fats and oils
are at the top of the
food pyramid, but...
I am a good fucking doctor.
And for a nurse, a nurse,
to be messing with my head
by constantly undermining me?
Am I going too fast? 'Cause I
can slow down if you need me to.
More time to write.
What happens when a patient
gets wheeled in here one day,
and that poor guy sees
Jackie yelling at me
like I'm the world's
biggest asshole?
How do you think it
makes the patient feel?
I don't think it makes
him feel any better.
Thanks. I'll get into this.
That was good.
I feel better.
That was good.
His name is Mr. Merz. He's
the deaf woman's husband.
He's having trouble
with his insurance.
I didn't know what else to do.
Okay, I got it.
Hey, Mr. Merz,
my name is Jackie.
They're saying
we're not covered.
I pay $425 a month.
They're saying they
won't cover the procedure.
Okay. Do you know if you have
something called catastrophic coverage?
I don't know. I've been
on hold for 20 minutes.
All right. Why don't
you let me talk to them?
You go be with your wife and
I'll come and find you later. Okay?
Go this way.
You are absolutely
right, Amanda.
People should definitely
read their policies more closely,
but she does have
$50,000 in hospital coverage.
That should take care
of the surgery, right?
Well, she's deaf, so I think
she does need her hand.
A cost-per-finger breakdown?
Okay, you know what? Can I
talk to your supervisor, please?
What's his name? Andrew,
can you do me a favor?
Will you walk me through
this like I'm an idiot?
What is her per-day
coverage? $3,000?
She's racked up more
than that in IV fluids.
So they are liable
for the whole thing?
Andrew, can I ask you a
question? Are you from the Midwest?
Ah, Chicago. South Side.
I think that South Side Irish
is completely different from
West Side Irish, but that's just me.
Oh, God, no. Queens.
But my uncle moved out there and
sold beer at Comiskey, so I know.
I'm going to go way
out on a limb here...
Have you ever been to Donohue's?
Right! Yes, Peter and his
brothers. They are hilarious!
No, I can't imagine selling
people something they can't use.
It's got to be awful
going to work every day.
And then with your father
passing away like that...
See, no, we've been
through this already, Andy.
You do not need to talk to
him. This is your moment.
You can do this. Step up, Andy.
You can do the right thing.
All right. You know what?
Why don't you just take the fax
number? You can do that, right?
44-year-old male swallowed
a 30-count bottle of Xanax.
Time-release, so we've
got a little wiggle room.
Don't know how many he took.
I'm betting 30.
Right. One, two, three.
What do we got?
Overdose.
He's going to need to be
lavaged. Right. Roll him.
Jackie, I'd rather Sam be here.
Yes, I bet you would.
How long ago did he
ingest? I'm guessing 20.
Let's drop in an NG and
give him charcoal and...
Jackie, really. Go.
Will you send in Sam, please?
You okay?
Yeah. They need you in there.
Are you sick?
No, honey.
Hi.
What are you making?
Yeah, there's cheddar
cheese in the bin,
and there's some English
muffins in the freezer.
Yeah, do me a favor? Can you
check the date on those eggs?
They've been sitting
in there for a while.
No, that's okay. You go
take care of it. I love you, too.
Bye.
I am not responsible for that.
I know.
The guy had to
know it might kill him.
He's a pharmacist,
he should know better.
Wheeled into the
place that fired you?
Whew, that sucks.
Would you guys shut up or
talk about something else?
What did you just do?
Hey. Look who's talking to me.
Thank you.
You scared the shit out of me.
That was the point.
I'm a pharmacist. I know
exactly how much not to take.
Nobody knows how
much not to take.
You look great, by the way.
You are fucking psychotic.
The Sun, Mercury, Venus,
Earth, Mars, Saturn.
You missed one.
It's the one with all the moons.
Jupiter! Ah!
Jupiter.
It doesn't matter.
The sun's going to explode and
eat up all the other planets anyways.
Hey!
What are you doing home?
I left early and
I bought dinner.
Cake for dinner?
Mmm-hmm. Cake is good.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine. I
get a corner piece.
Let's have cake!
Mommy! FIONA: Mommy!
.I thought I'd swing by the
hospital today, take you out to lunch.
Today's awful. Can
I take a rain check?
It's been raining a lot lately.
Eddie, it's me. I really
need to see you this morning.
So if you could just find me
as soon as you get
in, that'd be great.
Jacks.
.You rang?
My back is killing me.
For the pain.
Thank you.
Family at home, boyfriend at work, making
it back in time to be with husband...
Pretty impressive.
You have a little
crush on Eddie?
Yeah, Coop. I have a
huge crush on Eddie.
We fuck every day at noon.
How are we on time?
We're good. Just
don't get fancy.
Zoey!
Mom, it's me, Fiona.
So she has a kid.
I cannot live with Coop
holding this over my head.
If anyone knows how to drive
him round the bend, it's you.
You and I have
amazing chemistry.
You are a moron.
I think that temp
is on something.
I don't know what your
deal is. We don't do that here.
Takes one to know one.
Your daughter Grace is experiencing
signs of Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
Just a bunch of fucking idiots.
We're the parents. We're going
to decide what's best for her.
They're replacing
me with a Pyxis.
They're going to replace you
with a fucking
robot pill machine?
Tylenol. Blow me.
Ring, Jacks.
Oh, come on.
How are you going to explain a
sawn-off wedding ring to Kevin?
I will think of something.
Is this for her broken finger?
.Got a little surprise for
you when you get off work.
Who is luckier than me?
Hey. You open? Come on in.
Is that your wife?
Jackie.
I met Kevin. And that's
a very nice boy you got.
You broke your own finger.
.Mommy...
Jacks. ZOEY: I
think you're a saint.
Every medication
removed from the machine
will be traced back
to your number,
and shortages will
not be tolerated.
Hi.
Well, hello.
I'm sorry. I'm married.
Oh, yeah? Lucky guy.
Sorry. It's a little sunscreen.
Jackie Peyton bought me a card?
Maybe.
She actually wrote
feelings down?
In cursive.
Yeah.
I like you like this.
You brought soap?
She brought soap.
Grace, honey, they're
clean from the ocean.
Not really.
What you got, Fi?
I don't know, but
it's really good.
Is it dead?
I think it's a head.
Yes, it looks like
a raccoon head.
Don't, honey! Don't
touch it. Do not touch it.
Can I see your phone?
My phone?
We're going to take a picture.
Oh. All right.
Knock yourself out.
We need to mail it. Now.
We do? Right now?
All right. You're the boss.
Fries?
Yes, four please.
I don't want fries.
They're not wearing gloves.
Honey, it's okay.
So four or... Yes.
Three fries.
Four... Okay, three.
Coke, you guys? Root beer?
Coke. Grace?
Gracie? Coke?
Coke, please.
I guess she's not talking to me.
Four Cokes.
It's getting a little old,
that's all I'm saying.
Are you okay?
Jackie, are you okay?
Yeah, yeah. A little
too much sun, I think.
You got beers, right?
Hey, you got beer?
I will be with you
in one minute.
Man, those fucking
girls drink a lot.
You mind? I like the short one.
She's got an ass like kaboom!
Easy, guys.
We got kids here. MAN:
She's, like, one drink away.
Pop that thong and
I'm in it, yo. Fuck!
Oh, sorry. We got to go.
We're going. Goodbye.
Don't fuck with her.
She's a mother!
Was that a gunshot?
.22 caliber, I'm guessing.
Shouldn't we...
- Go out there and get shot?
- No.
Anybody hit? Security
mobilized? Good.
Where were we?
"Several questionable
incidents."
Oh, yes.
"Peripherally involved with
several questionable incidents.
"Item, severed ear.
"Item, Neil Nutterman.
"Item, Bureau of
Narcotic Enforcement."
Mmm. No.
The emergency
department of All Saints
has been flagged by
the state of New York.
And I have to ask
myself, "What's different?"
Okay, but it's not me.
I'm not what's different.
The Virgin Mary took
one in the shoulder.
What's going on?
I was just telling Zoey here
that the shrinkage
rate of our Pill-O-Matix
has caught the
attention of the state.
What can I tell
you? It's a robot.
This is unacceptable,
not to mention expensive.
And illegal!
Which is why I've asked
Nurse Jackie to talk to you today.
The theme for today is,
this is not a candy
machine, people.
Jackie.
Apparently, there's been
a problem with shrinkage.
No! Not "apparently."
Go ahead, Jackie.
There's been a
problem with shrinkage.
And, frankly, any shrinkage
makes us all look bad,
even if it's just Imodium.
And it's never just
the Imodium, people.
Sorry. Proceed.
Okay, just so we are
all on the same page.
Let's say you get an EDP,
attending orders an H and A cocktail.
You enter your PIN number.
The machine will
prompt you, patient ID.
One two-milligram
vial of Ativan.
The drawer pops open.
Machine says that there
are 10 vials in the drawer.
Hit "Confirm."
You take one vial.
Machine says nine vials
remain. Hit "Confirm."
You do the same
thing with the Haldol.
So when you were up there,
I was watching everyone,
you know, like I do, and a
lot of them look really guilty.
You don't think it's me, do you?
Hey, Jackie!
We'd like a moment alone.
No, we wouldn't. You can stay.
House seats. Hair. Fourth row.
That's very impressive, Coop.
Right? Takes place in the '60s.
Thought it might take you back.
Okay. Very nice.
It'd be good for us
to spend some time...
"Us"? What "us"?
There is no "us."
I thought we got
past this weeks ago.
You know, Jackie, this whole
"Come here, go away" thing
is exhausting me.
I'm just trying...
There is no come
here, it's all go away.
Go away, okay? Just go away.
What do I care?
Trying to do something
nice for a nurse,
who's a little bit older
than me, by the way.
Okay, thanks a lot. I'm
going to head back to work.
I bet Thor would buy those
from you in a heartbeat.
I mean, if you were
at all thinking of...
My first perk!
What are we waiting on?
GSW. Four minutes.
Really gruesome.
I don't know why
she wanted to send it
or why you like it,
but there you have it.
Kindred spirits, Jacks.
I'm not really interested in
any long drawn-out anything,
except to say that I am
executive of my mother's estate
and, as such, it
would mean the world
if I could set up a
college fund for the girls,
if for no other
reason than taxes.
That's very generous, thank you,
but you know it is
not just up to me.
Fiona sent me a
picture of a dead animal,
knowing full well it would
be the highlight of my day.
We're connected, Jacks.
Yes, there's no
denying that, honey.
That's all I'm asking,
no strings attached.
Let me talk to Kevin.
Except, I get to be a
godmother. Don't care which one.
They already have godmothers.
Not giving up.
Ladies, this is Sam.
He's our new RN.
You remember.
He was a temp here.
Yes, we remember him. Drug guy.
I thought there
was a hiring freeze.
No offense. SAM: No, none taken.
I'm just totally
grateful to be here.
Yeah, okay. Excuse us a minute.
You know I dismissed him
because he was wacked
out on benzos, right?
You do read my staffing reports.
He successfully completed
a rehabilitation program.
I have a stack of glowing
recommendations on my desk.
Not to mention he
speaks three languages
and he's a lot
cheaper than you are.
You get what you pay for.
Mo-Mo was worth three
times what you paid him.
And if the hospital is worried
about nurses stealing drugs,
maybe you don't want to
hire a nurse who's an addict?
Former addict.
No such thing.
How you doing?
Don't get too comfortable.
New guy. Coop. High five.
Okay, sure.
Listen, I kind of feel
like you're getting
a lot of the stabbings
and gunshots lately.
Mind if I take this one?
Nothing would make me happier
than to give you a
big, fat gunshot wound.
We call those GSWs for short.
Yeah.
23-year-old female.
Her dad's a cop.
She reached into the
glove compartment,
.357 magnum blew off the top
of her palm and three fingers.
Index finger is
hanging by a tendon.
The rest is wrapped
up in the shirt.
On my count. One, two, three.
Okay.
Out of my way, big guy. Sorry.
Hi, honey. My name is Jackie.
You're okay. You
know where you are?
We're going to give you
something for the pain.
Are you allergic
to any medicines?
You're okay. You're okay.
Call Lois and have
them prep the OR.
Okay.
What about plastics?
She'll be lucky if they can
stabilize any of the bones.
I think plastics
should weigh in.
And look at her
when you're talking.
Why? Because she's deaf.
If they could stabilize the
bones, maybe do a vein graft...
That's a big maybe.
We're talking about the
hands of a deaf woman.
Fine. Call plastics.
Okay, I will.
Yeah? And they'll tell
you the same thing.
Twenty hours of surgery for
a non-life threatening injury?
Fat fucking chance.
It's pudding, Jackie.
What the fuck are you doing
over there? You're officially useless.
Get out.
Can I have some more gauze? Yes.
You are mad at me.
Do not take it out on him.
Who? Who am I taking it out on?
Thor. He's diabetic.
You know that, right?
The guy has a
reaction, you go after him
like a bully on the playground.
That's classy, Coop.
I didn't... How am I
supposed to know?
He wears a big fucking
bracelet that says, "I am diabetic."
I'm sorry.
Totally worth it.
Come with me.
Someone call me
when plastics gets here.
I am so sorry. I didn't
time my insulin right.
You can't do that, Thor.
Nurses passing out on patients?
Not good. I know.
It's a good thing it was Coop.
The other doctors
don't scare so easy.
God! He can't tell Akalitus that
my blood sugar dropped in trauma.
She'll move me to the
chemo ward or maternity.
I love trauma.
You just got to remember to eat.
And you got to lay off
the fried shit, and the cake.
Jesus, Thor. What
is with you and cake?
I don't drink. I don't
smoke. I eat cake.
Cake is good.
It's comfort food.
Why do the things that are so
bad for you make you feel the best?
Mmm. I hear you.
I get why I make you nervous.
I'm sorry?
That time when I was fucked up
and I told you it takes
one to know one?
I had no right to say that.
And I have no idea
what you're talking about.
But if you ever want to
talk or go to a meeting...
Oh, I'm sorry. Can we get
something straight right now?
You and I are not
buddies. You got it?
If you say so. Good.
No, you listen to me.
I spent my day off
at a pathetic medical
equipment auction in New Jersey,
bidding on a refurbished
Medfusion syringe pump for the ER.
I won. I put it on my credit
card. You approved this.
If I don't have a check
on my desk in the morning,
I'm going to come down
there and kick your ass!
Thank you, Monsignor.
Have a good day.
Come in.
Got a minute? Certainly.
I need to lodge a formal
complaint against a nurse.
Super.
It's Nurse Jackie. Really?
She constantly
challenges my decisions,
is bossy and rude
and unpleasant.
Bully. That's the
word. She's a bully.
There's a chain of command here
that she refuses to acknowledge.
I am at the top of that
chain of command, okay?
She is at the bottom
and I am at the top.
If this were a food pyramid,
I would be the steak.
Technically, I
think fats and oils
are at the top of the
food pyramid, but...
I am a good fucking doctor.
And for a nurse, a nurse,
to be messing with my head
by constantly undermining me?
Am I going too fast? 'Cause I
can slow down if you need me to.
More time to write.
What happens when a patient
gets wheeled in here one day,
and that poor guy sees
Jackie yelling at me
like I'm the world's
biggest asshole?
How do you think it
makes the patient feel?
I don't think it makes
him feel any better.
Thanks. I'll get into this.
That was good.
I feel better.
That was good.
His name is Mr. Merz. He's
the deaf woman's husband.
He's having trouble
with his insurance.
I didn't know what else to do.
Okay, I got it.
Hey, Mr. Merz,
my name is Jackie.
They're saying
we're not covered.
I pay $425 a month.
They're saying they
won't cover the procedure.
Okay. Do you know if you have
something called catastrophic coverage?
I don't know. I've been
on hold for 20 minutes.
All right. Why don't
you let me talk to them?
You go be with your wife and
I'll come and find you later. Okay?
Go this way.
You are absolutely
right, Amanda.
People should definitely
read their policies more closely,
but she does have
$50,000 in hospital coverage.
That should take care
of the surgery, right?
Well, she's deaf, so I think
she does need her hand.
A cost-per-finger breakdown?
Okay, you know what? Can I
talk to your supervisor, please?
What's his name? Andrew,
can you do me a favor?
Will you walk me through
this like I'm an idiot?
What is her per-day
coverage? $3,000?
She's racked up more
than that in IV fluids.
So they are liable
for the whole thing?
Andrew, can I ask you a
question? Are you from the Midwest?
Ah, Chicago. South Side.
I think that South Side Irish
is completely different from
West Side Irish, but that's just me.
Oh, God, no. Queens.
But my uncle moved out there and
sold beer at Comiskey, so I know.
I'm going to go way
out on a limb here...
Have you ever been to Donohue's?
Right! Yes, Peter and his
brothers. They are hilarious!
No, I can't imagine selling
people something they can't use.
It's got to be awful
going to work every day.
And then with your father
passing away like that...
See, no, we've been
through this already, Andy.
You do not need to talk to
him. This is your moment.
You can do this. Step up, Andy.
You can do the right thing.
All right. You know what?
Why don't you just take the fax
number? You can do that, right?
44-year-old male swallowed
a 30-count bottle of Xanax.
Time-release, so we've
got a little wiggle room.
Don't know how many he took.
I'm betting 30.
Right. One, two, three.
What do we got?
Overdose.
He's going to need to be
lavaged. Right. Roll him.
Jackie, I'd rather Sam be here.
Yes, I bet you would.
How long ago did he
ingest? I'm guessing 20.
Let's drop in an NG and
give him charcoal and...
Jackie, really. Go.
Will you send in Sam, please?
You okay?
Yeah. They need you in there.
Are you sick?
No, honey.
Hi.
What are you making?
Yeah, there's cheddar
cheese in the bin,
and there's some English
muffins in the freezer.
Yeah, do me a favor? Can you
check the date on those eggs?
They've been sitting
in there for a while.
No, that's okay. You go
take care of it. I love you, too.
Bye.
I am not responsible for that.
I know.
The guy had to
know it might kill him.
He's a pharmacist,
he should know better.
Wheeled into the
place that fired you?
Whew, that sucks.
Would you guys shut up or
talk about something else?
What did you just do?
Hey. Look who's talking to me.
Thank you.
You scared the shit out of me.
That was the point.
I'm a pharmacist. I know
exactly how much not to take.
Nobody knows how
much not to take.
You look great, by the way.
You are fucking psychotic.
The Sun, Mercury, Venus,
Earth, Mars, Saturn.
You missed one.
It's the one with all the moons.
Jupiter! Ah!
Jupiter.
It doesn't matter.
The sun's going to explode and
eat up all the other planets anyways.
Hey!
What are you doing home?
I left early and
I bought dinner.
Cake for dinner?
Mmm-hmm. Cake is good.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine. I
get a corner piece.
Let's have cake!